Requiem for a Loud
by UnderratedHero
Summary: Lincoln, the only boy in the Loud family, is diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctors give him just a few weeks left at best. How will an eleven years old boy react when he finds out he'll die soon? And his sisters? Will they be able to hold on after the emotional core of the family is taken from them, or will they fall apart? Rated T for the feels... too sad for kids.
1. Unexpected

_**.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **FULL SUMMARY:**_

 _The Loud family never imagined what was about to happen to them. Lincoln, the only boy in a family with ten girls, is diagnosed with a terminal disease. With nothing left to do, the doctors give him just a few weeks left, at best. How will an eleven years old boy react when he finds out he'll die soon? What's gonna happen when his sisters find out? Will the family hold on to their emotional core being taken from them, or will they fall apart? A story of pain, lost, family, and a boy that must face humanity's toughest test: accepting his mortality._

* * *

 _Greetings, readers. This is a story I started drafting a week ago. I made a giant storyboard for this, and I was so immersed within the plot that I just had to start writing it. Usually I take my time before publishing, but this fanfic right here is something else, I can tell._

 _About the story in general, there are two things I want to say before we start: 1° I will not write Lisa's dialogue the way she talks. I just can't. I've read it that way, and I've loved it, but it's not my thing. And 2°, I'm not even gonna try to make clever jokes with Luan. They're gonna be plain stupid -not so out of character, tho._

 _That being said, let's get this started._

 _DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Loud House or any of its characters. They belong to their rightfull owner._

* * *

.

.

 **Chapter 1:  
** **Unexpected**

.

.

Luckyly, the neighbors were used to the big mess it happened everytime the Loud family went somewhere in the van. That sunday morning, before they went to the park, it was the same as always.

"I take the front!"

"No, you take the back!"

"I want the window!"

"This seat smells worse than Lana!"

"Hey, nothing smells worse than me!"

"I like this seat. The lack of space makes me feel like I'm in a coffin."

"Nice try, Luna, but I want the back seat and I'll get it."

"You can't always get what you want, sis."

"If you don't back off right now you will end up like that guy who lost his left hand and left foot."

"Wow, Luan, that was way too harsh."

"Why? He's ALRIGHT now. Haha! Get it?"

"You're not even trying now, aren't you?"

It was a sunny day, with a radiant blue sky, no clouds on sight. The warm sping breeze came along with the soft smell of flowers and grass, inviting them to have fun outside.

Nothing in that warm happy day seemed to foreshadow the terrible storm it was about to land upon the Louds.

Lincoln was sitting on his house's entry, watching his sisters practically fight to the death for a good place in the van. He remembered with a smile just a few weeks ago when his plan to get the sweet spot had completely failed, ending up in a similar situation. His sisters hadn't actually fully forgive him for trying to cheat them into that. So he decided to stay out of it until they settled down, and he would just occupy the remaining seat. That way, he was avoiding any trouble.

Besides, he wasn't feeling well. He had been feeling really tired for about two days, getting agitated for even the smallest effort and having a strong headache. He asumed it was because he wasn't sleeping well lately, so he shrugged it off. Still, any fight he could avoid…

"Lincoln!" Yelled Lola, creating a hiatus in the female hecatomb. "Why are you sitting there all alone?"

"Did you find a new 'sweet spot'?" Accused him Lana.

"N-No, not at all!" He said hurriedly, seeing his sisters rapidly approaching with hostile intentions.

"You okay, dude?" Asked Luna, noticing he wasn't looking as energic as always.

"Yes, I'm okay. It's just… Well…"

"Lincoln, what is it?" Said Lori, impatiently.

He sighed.

"I thought you were still mad at me about the whole 'sweet spot' thing, so I decided to wait for you guys to get your seats first, and then I would just use the last one."

The Loud sisters looked at each other. Lincoln had his selfish moments, like that time he bought a pool just for him, but in the end he was always the one that cared the most about his siblings. Somehow, listening him saying he didn't wanted to fight helped them realize how absurd it seemed to be fighting over such a stupid thing.

"Come on, Lincoln, let's get in the van before mom and dad get outside" said Lori, approaching his brother to take him to the van door.

"But how are we going to be sitting?" He asked.

"All of you, make a line, from youngest to oldest, and get in the seats from the front to the back", she quickly instructed.

Without arguing, everyone made a line and started getting inside the car, starting with Lisa.

"Leni" sighed Lori.

"Yeah?" Asked the blonde, with a big smile.

"You're the second oldest."

"Yes, I am!"

"That means you go AFTER everyone else."

"Ok!" She said, moving to the end of the line, allowing the twins to enter.

Lucy went after, but before Lincoln could get in, Lori stopped him.

"Lynn, would you mind going in now and leave the sweet spot to Lincoln? I think he earned it… just this once."

"But I…!" Lynn stopped half way through the sentence, as Lori glared her. "I mean, of course, brother! You deserve it."

After hugging him and gaining a nod from Lori, she jumped in the car. Lincoln put one step inside, and turned to look at her oldest sister.

"Thanks, Lori."

"Don't mention it, twerp. Literally. Never."

After that, the rest of the girls got inside, just in time for their parents to come out of the house carrying Lily. They entered the van and, after securing the baby in her seat, the father turned on the engine.

"You know what, kids? You must have broken a record today. I hadn't even finished putting on my shirt when you stopped fighting! Usually it takes your mother and I about fifteen minutes to calm you down after we get to the car."

"And you would've taken longer this time!" Excitingly said Lana. "It was a slaughter!"

"But then I saw Lincoln all sad on the entry, and then we stopped fighting", quickly added Lola "So, it was actually thanks to ME that everything ended so fast. You can thank me later."

"What happened, Lincoln?" Asked Mr Loud, looking at his son through the mirror.

Lincoln was about to answer him, but Lucy speaked first.

"He made us realize how pointless and vain our dispute was; just like how everything we do in our lifes it's innocuous, for it does not change our final destiny, death."

"Too dark, sis" said Luna.

"Lucy's right… about the first thing, the second was literally too weird… Lincoln didn't wanted to fight with us for a place in here, so he step aside. And that made us realize how dumb the whole thing was."

The parents looked at each other, surprised about what Lori was telling them.

"Wow, Lincoln, that was really mature" said Ms Loud.

"Thanks, mom" said the boy with a smile.

"I mean it. Maybe you're ready for the grown up table after all."

"No he's not", replied the ten sister in chorus.

"Thanks for the support", sarcastically said Lincoln. "If I'm not in the grown up table it's just because I don't feel like giving up dessert yet. If I actually wanted to be there, I could totally do it."

"Lincoln, it's clear you're not ready to the grown up table", said Lynn, with a sense of superiority.

"That's enough. No more arguments until we reach the park", finally said Mr Loud, ending the discussion.

While the caos inside the van started to appear, with the twins fighting each other, Luna with her headphones at max volume and Lynn looking for an excuse to hit him, Lincoln began to think about what his sisters had said. It was truth he recently had made everything to get in the grown up table and the episode had ended up bad, but it was really because he sabotaged himself. Acting all grown up was really boring. He prefered the jokes, the yelling, and even the food fights that he had in the little-ones table. He didn't wanted to quit on those things. Why rushing up having to get to the grown up table? He was a kid after all.

He would have time to grow up.

Fortunately, they got to the park in a few minutes. While their parents took Lily to the nearest sandbox, the rest of the children started drifting apart. Lisa found an anthill and started taking notes on the ants behaviour. Lola and Lana went to the slides and swings, trying to get along with the rest of the kids their age. Lucy looked for a lonely place where noone would bother her while she wrote her dark poems. Lynn started running with her soccer ball until she found a couple of boys playing a match and decided to join them. Luna started playing her guitar on top of a bench, with a couple of people watching her, and Luan decided to record everything in case something funny happened, like Luna stage diving right to the ground. Lori and Leni sit under a tree. While Lori was busy texting with Bobby, Leni found herself surrounded by a bunch of boys trying to impress her and get her number.

Oddly enough, Lincoln found himself alone, with no sister trying to get him to do anything. A little taken aback from that fact, he decided to take advantage of this by doing… what, exactly? What were eleven year old boys supossed to do on a park with noone to play with? Bored and without a clue about what he should be doing, he decided to start walking, looking for something to do.

He spent the next hour walking, but he didn't found anything to do. He toured the whole park, trying to avoid his sisters, until he found a lonely tree whose branches were perfect to climb. Usually, he wasn't the climbing trees type, but he was so bored and the tree looked so tempting that he decided to do it anyway. So he climbed the tree, and once he reached the top, he rest against the trunk and watched between the leafs. It was really quite in there, sitting beneath the shadow of the oak, being able to see everyone while hidden from them.

As his headache returned —it was starting to hurt more often, he thought—, he decided to close his eyes and relax. He didn't wanted to fall asleep, but he found a comfortable position where he managed to relax himself. Still, he wondered why he was the only one who could found nothing to do in the park. All his sisters had found their place within seconds of arriving. Lisa, Lucy and Lori maybe enjoyed more being alone undisturbed, but the rest had managed to get along with people they didn't know without even trying. A feeling he was lately trying to ignore came to his mind, an awful sensation that he was the only one that wasn't good at anything in his house. That incident with the trophy case was still in his mind. All their sisters were good at something, and even though his case wasn't empty now, that trophy was just a gift from his sisters. It wasn't real. Perhaps, after all, he wasn't good at anything.

He suddenly heard a thud and felt the tree vibrate. He looked down and saw a soccer ball bouncing in the ground, and a girl picking it up.

"Stupid boys", said the girl, kicking the ball once again against the tree. "Who needs them anyway?"

She picked up the ball, but this time she held it against her chest and reclined herself agains the tree.

"Lynn?" Said Lincoln in a whisper, so she coudln't hear him.

She looked pretty sad, sitting with the ball against her chest. Lincoln was sure he had seen her playing with a group of boys about her age. Was the game over already? Had they fought? He thought about coming down and talk to her, but he wasn't sure that was the best idea.

"I don't need them", muttered Lynn. "I don't want to play with them neither. I can do it alone."

He sensed the sadness in her last words. He knew how much her sister tried to keep her tough girl appearance, so for her to sound this sad, this had to be some pretty big deal. He finally decided to talk with her. Since he didn't want her to find out he had been listening, he climbed down by the other side of the tree, trying to not make a noise.

He finally positioned himself behind Lynn, who wasn't aware of her brother's presence.

"Hey, Lynn", he said at last, scaring his sister. "Ha! Two for flinching!"

"Hey!" She complained, smiling at the weak punches he was giving her in the arm. "That's not how it works! You can't just Lucy-out-of-nowhere to scare the other one!"

"Whatever. Why aren't you playing soccer?" He asked, knowing that this could hurt her sister a little.

Indeed, Lynn's face shadowed a little.

"I was playing with some boys, but they kicked me out."

"What? Why?"

"Boys don't like girls being better than them in sports", she sowly said, looking straight to the ball in her hands. "Even in school, they always try to avoid me. It's not my fault to be this good, you know! If they trained as hard as I do then they'd be good aswell, and they wouldn't be afraid to play with me!"

He noticed how sad her sister seemed to get, and decided to intervene.

"Well, if they don't want to get an up-close lesson on how to play soccer, it's their loss. Who needs them anyway?"

Lynn looked up, with a shy smile on her face.

"Thanks, Lincoln. But some sports are meant to be played by more than one person."

"That's what I'm here for."

The big smile Lynn gave him made Lincoln feel really happy.

"You mean it?"

"Of course. Let's kick it up, shall we?"

Lynn quickly stood up and kicked the ball forward.

Lincoln once again began thinking about his lack of abilities and his almost empty case. Perhaps, after all, he was good at being a brother to his sisters. He really liked that thought. He liked feeling he could make his sisters happy. Perhaps, he wasn't as useless as he thought he was.

He started playing with Lynn, chasing her around the park, trying to get her and steal the ball. But she was very good, fast and skilled, so he could barely keep up with her. The very few times he managed to steal the ball he could only keep it for some seconds before he lost it again. Even though he didn't have her sister's stamina, all this years helping her practicing did their thing and he could usually keep up for about twenty minutes before getting tired.

But that day, little after ten minutes Lincoln stopped, barely being able to stand up. His heart was beating incredibly fast and strong, like it was trying to escape from his chest. He was breathing hard, not being able to recover from the effort, and his head was killing him once again. He couldn't believe he was this bad after only ten minutes.

"Alright, Lynn, you win. Can we play something more… still?"

"You gotta work up, bro", she said, while doing tricks with the ball. "Stay right there. Let's practice long passes, okay?"

"Okay… You go while I… I try to catch my breath…"

Lynn walked away about thirty meters, before preparing the ball.

"Here it goes!"

With a strong kick, the ball went up in the air, landing right in front of Lincoln. Since stopping the ball was his great weakness, he cheated and used his hands to catch it. Lynn yelled him something about not being practicing for goalkeeper, but he could barely listen her. He was feeling dizzy, although it was a strange sensation. It was like everything started moving in slow motion. He could still feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest, like his heart didn't know he wasn't running anymore.

"Come on! Kick it back!"

With a lot of effort, Lincoln managed to kick it, but he couldn't give it as much strenght as he intended to do. The ball didn't even left the ground. It slid all the way to Lynn, who stopped it with her sole. He saw that she was saying something, but this time he didn't even hear it. He took a hand to his head, which was hurting him almost as bad as his chest. He didn't remember ever feeling so much pain, and yet he wasn't able to react properly. He was standing still, with his gaze lost, completely dazed.

He saw Lynn kicking the ball. He watched it getting nearer and nearer, all in slow motion. He knew what was going to happen way before it did, but he couldn't even think about dodging it.

With a thud, he fell backwards on the ground, the ball bouncing right next to him. He felt some sore in his forehead, but it was indistinguishable from the overall pain he was feeling. He couldn't even move anymore. All he could see was the blue sky and some trees on the background.

"Linc! You okay?" He heard, before Lynn's face appeared in front of him.

She looked worried.

"Lincoln, you're bleeding! You hear me? Lincoln?"

It seemed that Lynn was shaking his shoulder, but he coudln't answer her. Everything was becoming a blur.

"Why's your nose bleeding if it hit you on the forehead? Lincoln! Why aren't you answering?!" She said, shaking him harder. "Lincoln! Lincoln! Lori! Luna! SOMEBODY! HELP!"

Someone came in a rush, but he wasn't able to see who it was. Everything turned black, and he quickly passed out.

* * *

 _._

 _Okay. So, as you may have noticed now, english is not my first language. Argentinian here, folks (you know, South America? Messi? Maradona? The Pope?). I didn't tell you guys before you started reading because I needed you to at least give it a shot, ha. I'm really trying to write as best as I can. Obviously, I'm aware that there may be a lot of mistakes that I don't see, 'cause I don't know best. I believe you could read this without too much inconvenients, but if you found a part that was awfully written or that was just too confusing, please let me know and I'll try to fix it._

 _About the chapter itself, what's wrong with Lincoln? What does he has? How will the rest of the family react to this? Well, next chapter will be answering some of this questions._

 _See ya!_


	2. An unnerving waiting

_Hello, everybody!_

 _Well, I gotta say, I'm actually really surprised about the reception on this fic. I mean, 15 reviews, 25 favs and 27 people following it? After only one chapter? Like I said, this is my first time actually writing in english. I know I do have a lot of mistakes (I noticed a few on the first chapter after I posted it), but I'm really trying my best to keep them at a minimun._

 _Well, my original idea was for chapter 2 to be practically twice as long as the first one. But on Monday I start college again, and it would've took me like a week and a half to write it as I first intended, if not more. But since you gave me such good reviews and your support, I decided to cut it sooner (it won't feel incomplete at all, I promise, I chose a good point to end it) so you could have this ASAP._

 _I also want to thank that anonymous guest who told me about the " for the dialogues instead of the - . In spanish we use the -, and it feels so natural to me that I completely forgot to check it. When I read that review, I went to get my Harry Potter english-colection and I opened a random page to see it and yes, I screwed up in the first chapter. Haha, but anyway, I tried to fix it this time._

 _Hope you like it._

* * *

.

.

 **Chapter 2:  
An** **unnerving waiting**

.

.

Generally, the Loud sisters and silent places didn't get along very well; even by definition they were quite opposites. They were young, energic kids, whose lifestyle had turned them very noisy. They rarely found themselves without anything to do, and their activities tended to atempt against peace wherever they were. That partially explained why they felt so bad. So many hours sitting there, having to whisper, and without anything to do but wait was affecting them. However, they were mostly affected by the fact that they were in the hospital's waiting room with no news from the doctors.

Lori checked her phone. A quarter to four. They had arrived to the hospital almost five hours before. Apparently, Lincoln and Lynn were just playing soccer when he got hit right in the head by the ball, and then he fainted. When she couldn't wake him up, Lynn panicked and started screaming for help. Some people on the park gathered around to help her and they quickly called an ambulance. Lola and Lana saw a small group of people that seemed to be looking at some accident, so they went there, curious about it. When they found it was Lincoln, however, they ran to tell their parents, separating at some point to find them faster.

Lori was trying to keep Leni away from some attention-desperated punks when she saw Lana. The little one was running and screaming for her parents. She was crying, too. Worried, the oldest Loud sibling went to her.

"Lana, what happened?!", she asked, looking for an injury.

"H-He's b-b-bleeding and… and… h-he won't wake u-up", said sobbing, while tears kept running down her cheeks as she tried to wipe her nose.

"Who's bleeding?!"

"L-L-Lincoln!", she answered, before throwing herself in her sister's arms.

Lori literally dragged Leni away from the boys, running where Lana guided her. When they got there, Lori's heart skipped a beat or two as she saw her little brother laying still on the ground, clearly unconscious, with a trickle of blood coming down his nose.

Her parents were already there, with Lola, Lily and Lisa, trying to calm down an hysterical Lynn. She was trying to tell them what happened, but the crying and the mumbling made it impossible to understand her. A moment later, Luna, Lucy and Luan arrived, having seen the commotion on the park. The ten sisters were all scared and deathly worried. Their parents weren't much better, but they tried to calm them. Fortunately, the ambulance came really soon, and they immediately took Lincoln to the nearest hospital.

As soon as they entered the hospital, time slowed down. Every minute became a little eternity. Almost an hour after they arrived, a doctor finally approached to tell them how Lincoln was. The poor man quickly found himself cornered against a wall when the ten sisters surrounded him, asking about their brother's condition. Lisa even took his notes and started reading the test results herself when Mr Loud called them and made them leave the doctor alone. Being able to breath again, the doctor explained that Lincoln was stable but anaesthetized. They were yet to discover the cause of the fainting, so he ask permition to run some more tests. The parents agreed, and asked when would they be able to see him. He told them they needed to wait for the tests to be completed and the drugs effects to be worn out. It would take a couple of hours.

So the Loud family made themselves comfortable on the waiting room and waited. And waited. And waited. Five long hours of silence, of being worried to no end. Lori looked around. Leni was watching herself in a pocket mirror, but her mind was clearly somewhere else. Luna had her arm around Lynn's shoulders. Lynn was hugging her own knees against her chest. Luna and Luan were trying to cheer her up, but they were downcast aswell. The latter hadn't cracked a single joke since they got there. Lucy was holding one of her vampire's novel,s opened on the same page for half an hour now, while Lisa was enlisting out loud all the possible causes of Lincoln's fainting and their respective treatments. The twins, meanwhile, were still scared by the image of their brother's unconscious face covered in blood. Lola was resting her head on her sister's shoulder, not caring that ther hair was right next to Lana's dirty cap.

Lori sighed and checked her phone again. Ten to four, and five new messages from Bobby. He wanted to know how everything was going. She told him they still didn't knew anything. He texted a sad emoji and told her that as soon as he could get out of work he would go to the hospital to see her. He also told her Ronnie Anne was really worried, and she would like to visit Lincoln too.

She was about to tell him it was probably not a good idea when the same doctor from early came out from a door. They all got up right away, but their father stopped them before they did anything. He approached the doctor with his wife.

"So, doctor, any news?"

"Well, we're still not sure about what brought him here in the first place, but at least we know it's not an infection."

"That's good, right?"

"It could be. He's reacting well to the medication, and that's always a good thing. It's still too early for the blood test to give us anything, but we'll soon have the CT scan ready, and hopefully we will dismiss more serious conditions."

"Okay", said Mr Loud, hugging his wife. "How is he?"

"That's why I came here. He woke up a few minutes ago. He was pretty confused, but I was able to calm him. He really wants to see you. But he's really tired", he added, looking askance to the daughters. "So maybe it would be better if we don't… I mean… If we could..."

"Keep the girls quiet and don't disturb him" helped him Ms Loud.

"Yes. That's right. You can see him, but carefully, and quiet."

"Alright. Thanks, doctor."

The medic went back to the door, waiting for the Louds to follow him. Before that, Mr Loud spoke to his daughters.

"Alright, girls, pay attention. We're gonna go see Lincoln BUT if even one of you raises her voice or does something that could upset or bother him, you're all getting kicked out of the room. Get it?"

"Yes, sir", they all answered.

"He's probably gonna be really tired, so take it easy. Try not to disturb him, and don't hug him too tight."

"And don't touch anything" added Ms Loud.

Once they all promised they would behave, they passed the door and finally made it to the rooms wing. They followed the doctor through the long hall, with doors on both sides. The girls were desperately looking for Lincoln's room, like they feared the doctor would missed it. They looked through every open door, and as they kept going, they felt more nervious.

The endless hall was extremely silent. Their steps resounded on the walls, interrupted only by the occasional chat between nurses carrying medicines and medical equipment. They passed by a lot of occupied rooms. Some of the patients looked actually happy, watching TV or reading a book on their beds, but there were others who looked like they were in pain, or terribly tired.

Lori prayed for her brother to be okay.

"Here we are", finally said the doctor, stepping in the room. "Hey, fella. Found someone on the hall. I think they'd like to see you. Come on in."

The family entered, and Lori let out a sigh of relief. Lincoln was sitting on his bed, a warmly smile across his face. If it weren't for the bandage on his arm –from where they took the blood sample probably– and the fact that he was wearing a hospital gown, he could be just hanging on his room's bed.

"Mom, dad!" he excitingly said, getting up from the bed.

"Lincoln, what did I told you?" asked the doctor, frowning. The boy sat once again, with his feet dangling from the side of the bed.

"That I shouldn't get up" he answered, a little embarrassed.

"Oh, honey", said Ms Loud, getting close with Lily on her arms. "I'm so glad to see you well."

"How do you feel?" Asked Mr Loud.

"Great. My head's not hurting anymore."

"He told me he's been having strong headaches lately, along with some sleeping issues. Were you aware of this?" Asked the doctor.

"What? No, were not… Lincoln, why didn't you tell us?"

"I don't… I don't know… I thought it was nothing", he said, nerviously playing with his fingers. "I guess I didn't wanted to worry you about nothing".

"Lincoln, you need to tell us this kind of things. We will judge whether it's worth worrying over it or not", said Ms Loud, while trying to keep Lily from grabbing Lincoln's hair.

The words sounded a little more stern than she intended, and Lincoln looked down.

"Mom, don't lecture Lincoln" intervene Lori, getting closer to her brother and giving him a relieved smile. "Hey, Linc."

"Hi, Lori" he cheerfully said. "You look… tired."

"Well, it's been a long day..."

Lincoln was about to say something, but he felt someone pulling his robe. When he looked down, he saw both Lana and Lola looking at him with watery eyes and trembling lips.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Asked Lola, almost inaudibly.

"Get well soon, Lincoln, please", said Lana, hugging her older brother's leg.

He gently caressed their hairs, trying to comfort them. The doctor excused himself and left the room, leaving the family alone.

"Girls, girls, don't worry. I'm okay. Your big brother's gonna be okay. You don't need to be worried."

"Well, we all are, bro", said Luna, stepping closer too. "We were pretty scared, y'know."

"Oh, guys, I'm… I'm sorry."

"Wait, Lincoln's sorry? What did he do?" asked Leni, confused as always.

"I believe our brother it's expressing an unjustified and exagerated feeling of regret that comes from some sort of guilt for making us, his blood relatives, to be worried about the lack of certainties regarding his post-traumatic-and-fainting state of health", tried to explain Lisa, while adjusting her glasses with her right index finger.

"Son, you don't need to apologize for anything. It's not your fault" assured him Mr Loud.

"Lincoln's not the only one feeling guilty over something they shouldn't", said Lucy. "Lynn's like that too."

Everybody turned to see Lynn. Indeed, while the rest of the girls had stepped closer to their brother's bed, Lynn was standing against the wall, with her arms crossed over her belly, like she was unconsciously hugging herself.

"Lynn?", asked her mother.

"Lynn, you didn't have anything to do with this", assured her Lincoln. "You know that, don't you?"

She looked at the floor, biting her lower lip. Luna moved closer and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Lynn, I'm okay, really. Please, don't feel bad."

The girl continued staring down for a few moments. Then she violently pushed Luna's hand way from her and started quickly advancing towards Lincoln, frowning and with clenched fists. Both Lincoln and Lori immediately recognized her body language. It was the same she always used when she was about to punch someone in the face. The older sister tried to step in her way, but her mother stopped her. Lori looked at her confused, but Ms Loud simply smiled and signaled her to watch.

Lynn stopped right in front of Lincoln, with the twins still hugging his legs, looking puzzled at their sister. She stood still for a few seconds. Suddenly, she jumped at Lincoln. He really thought she was going to pin him down, but he ended up utterly surprised when he realized she was just giving him a hug. A very tender, soft hug, which was totally out of character for her.

Before he could react, Lori hugged him too. And then Luna, and then Leni. Soon, he was surrounded by his sisters, being in the center of a group hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes, with their parents hapilly watching.

"Girls, let Lincoln breath, will you?"

They stepped back a little and, after finally taking that load off, they all seemed more relaxed. They took some plastic chairs they found on the room –and some from the empty room next door– and sit around his bed, while trying to initiate a conversation. Even if they were keeping their promise of keeping their voices down, they all wanted to talk with Lincoln, and he couldn't understand not even one of his siblings.

"Girls, calm down. The doctor said it's gonna be a while before we get the results, there's no need to hurry".

Lincoln clearly saw Luan opening her mouth as if to say something, but she quickly closed it.

"Luan, you want to say a joke, don't you?"

" Oh, no, no", she said, even though nobody was buying it. "I mean, this isn't time for jokes..."

"Actually, I am pretty bored. I could use some comic relief" he insisted with a smile.

"Come on, Luan, make it fast" said Lori.

Since they insisted, Luan stopped containing herself.

"Well, mom and dad are right, there's no need to hurry, we just got to be PATIENTS!"

There was a small silence after the pun was delivered, which was something Luan was used to. What she wasn't ready for was seeing Lincoln closing his eyes and his chest spasming.

"Lincoln, are you okay?" Asked Lynn, worried about the posibility that he was getting agitated again.

He cover his face with a hand. His chest was definitely convulsing now.

"Lincoln? What's wrong?"

He finally looked up, smiling.

" ' _Patient_ ' " he repeated, before he started to laugh.

They watched him dumbfounded for a few seconds, before Luna started laughing too. They all looked at each other, and one by one they all laughed, louder and louder, until they were all hysterically crying.

The parents were watching all of this, and that image would stay printed on their minds like a polaroid. It was going to be, after all, the last time the whole family was having a good time.

They continued talking for a long while, until the room's door opened and the doctor entered, with various notes and what appeared to be a radiography on his hand. The girls barely contained themselves from jumping against the doctor once again.

"Excuse me, could I speak with you privately, Mr and Ms Loud?" He asked, while signaling outside.

"Sure. We'll be right back, sweetheart", Ms Loud told Lincoln, before giving Lily to Lori and going out of the room with her husband and the doctor.

Naturally, as soon as the door was closed, all ten sisters were right next to it, trying to listen what the grown ups were talking about.

"What are they saying?" Asked Lana, sticking her ear against the wood.

"Shh", hissed her Luan, "we can't hear if you talk."

"Shh, we can't hear anything if you are telling her to shut it" said Lola.

"Don't you see that we can't hear anything if you keep talking!" Complained Lynn.

"Guys, you better keep it down, or..." started Lincoln.

"Shut up!" Yelled all her sisters, turning around to look at him.

At that moment the door opened, revealing the parents, not surprised at all for finding the girls trying to eavesdrop. They stayed paralized for an instant, before smiling and adopting casual poses. They thought they were getting some kind of lecture, but Mr Loud barely sighed.

"Girls, say goodbye to Lincoln", he finally said. "Lori, take them home."

"What?" They said in unison.

"But we barely entered here!"

"We don't even know how is he!"

"It's too soon!"

"I wanna stay with Lincoln!"

"SILENCE!"

They were all taken aback by their father's yell. He raised a hand to his head, massaging his temples.

"Girls, tomorrow it's a school day and it's getting late. Go home, have dinner and go to sleep early. Your mother and I will stay here. Lori, take them home."

"But dad..."

"Take. Them. Home."

It had been a while since Lori saw her father this nervous. He seemed to be restraining himself to not yell at them, which was really worrying. What did the doctor said? Why would he be like this? As much as she wanted to stay right next to her brother until they were one hundred totally percent sure that he was okay, she knew right away that arguing would only make things worse.

"Come on, guys, say goodbye to Lincoln."

With Lori surrendering, the rest of the sisters looked down, defeated. One by one they said goodbye to Lincoln, hugging him, giving him a peck on the cheek and wishing him the best. He told them that everything was going to be okay with a big smile on his face. A minute later, Lori leaded her sisters to the hospital parking lot. They entered the van, not even thinking about what seat each one of them occupied. As she was checking Lily's seat belt, Lori silently prayed for her little brother to be okay.

Back in the room, Ms Loud was trying to calm down her husband.

"Maybe I was too harsh on them" he was saying.

"Don't worry, dear. They know we're anxious too."

"I'm so sorry about this whole situation", said the doctor. "But I think it was better to talk with you first."

He went close to one apparatus on the wall. Lincoln thought it seem like any other light screen, but he remembered watching TV shows and movies where the doctors used them to see radiographys more clearly.

"We still don't have the blood test. But… we do have the CT scan", he said, without looking at Lincoln or his parents.

"And?" Asked Ms Loud.

The doctor, just as Lincoln thought, put the CT against the screen. He didn't really know what he was looking at. A lot of blurred marks and some white spots here and there; maybe there were about six white spots, all pretty small. He then realized that the blurred outline had the shape of his head, from an up view. The doctor contemplated his and his parent's reaction without saying anything. It almost seemed like he was expecting them to understand without having to explain it.

Lincoln certainly didn't get it, but his parents seemed to.

"Is t-that…? No… Could it be…?" Said his father, looking incredulous at the screen.

"No… No, no..." repeated his mother, covering her mouth with her hands.

Lincoln started to worry. Her mother worked in a medical institution. Yes, it was a dentist office, but that enabled her to read radiographys, right? Why did she looked so shocked?

"Mom?" He called her, but she was lost in the sight before her, repeating the same word over and over again.

"No… No..."

"Dad? W-what is it? What's that? What do I have?"

Seeing that the boy's parents were in a state of shock, the doctor slowly stepped closer to Lincoln. He bent until he was eye-level with him and tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was clearly looking for the right words to say. He finally took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lincoln."

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _Seriously, it feels so odd scrolling down and not seeing the "-", hahaha. It's like I only see description._

 _Anyways, what'cha think about it so far? We haven't reached the 'total feels' point yet, but we're getting close. I must say, I love the twins, they're so cute, like in "Left in the dark", when the lights go out and they are totally scared and Lincoln calms them... Totally cute. I guess I kinda took that direction here with them. But don't worry, they'll be fighting each other as usual as the story keeps going._

 _Next chapter will have a cameo that probably you won't care about, but it's gonna be kinda important. And it will be the first real sad chapter. So we'll finally see if I'm up to the challenge of writing this story or not. As always, please review and tell me what did you liked and what you think could be improved. Any fatal mistake you see on my writing, please let me know aswell. Like I said, I'm doing my best, but since I'm an autodidact, there are some things I simply don't know. So don't worry, I'm not gonna be mad or even sad if you point out my mistakes; I take it as an oportunity to improve. Just, you know, say some good things too! Hahaha._

 _Thank you very much. See ya!_


	3. House of sadness

_Ok, chapter 3 is finally finished. It took me like a day to translate it, and right now I'm too tired to fully check it. I gave it a quick look and it seemed readable enough, but tomorrow I'll really check it. It took me a week, but it's finally here. I could've updated four days ago, but then you would have only half of this chapter. For this chapter is *insert John Cena's theme song and announcer voice*_ **THE ULTIMATE CHAPTER. THE MOST EMOTIONALLY BRUTAL APPROACH ON THE LOUD HOUSE CHARACTERS EVER MADE. A SPECIAL DOUBLE-SIZED ISSUE THAT'S 15% LONGER THAN BOTH PREVIOUS CHAPTERS COMBINED. A GRANTED TEAR MAKING WRITTEN MACHINE THAT WORKS OVERCLOCKING TO ASSURE YOU YOU'LL HAVE THE EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN THIS STORY'S SUMMARY PROMISED YOU YOU WOULD. THIS CHAPTER HAS A 100% PROBABILITY OF MAKING YOU CRY WITH A 66% CRITICAL HIT RATE. UNLESS YOU HAVE A COLD, FROZEN STONE INSTEAD OF YOUR HEART, THIS CHAPTER RIGHT HERE WILL MAKE YOU SOB LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SINCE CHILDHOOD. STARRING A CAMEO FROM ONE OF THE MOST WELL KNOWN CHARACTERS FROM MODERN TV HISTORY, AND A DETAILED MEDICAL INVESTIGATION RUNNED BY THE AUTHOR TO MAKE THIS AS REAL AS POSSIBLE. ARE - YOU - READY?!**

 _Ok, jokes aside, it's actually the longest chapter, it make me cry, it has a cameo from a special character and I did my homework on the medical issue. I hope you like it. Thank you all for giving me your reviews. It's thanks to the amount of good vibes that you give me in your reviews that I try my best to update as soon as I can. Thank you._

 _Disclaimer: I don't own The Loud House. If I ever take this thing to Nickelodeon and offer it as the final movie for when they decide to finish the series, then I might. Until then, no. Savino, if you're reading this, e-mail me._

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter 3:  
House of sadness**

 **.**

 **.**

The neighbors usually looked with despise at 1216 Franklin Avenue, the Loud house. There wasn't a time on the day when they couldn't hear the turmoil gestated in that madhouse. The real-estates had been sued for not warning the neighbors they were buying a house next to eleven hyperactive, noisy kids, with little to no respect for other family's privacy. Without any other option, the neighbors just learned to live with the noise. It was like walking under the rain without an umbrella. At first it's really annoying, but there comes a time when your brain decides it's not worth wasting energy trying to acknowledge every single rain drop's impact on your body, so it reaches a state where you know it's raining —and maybe a rain drop on your eye reminds you of it—, but you actually just don't care anymore. That's exactly how the neighbors were used to the Louds.

It was because they were so used to it that, on that Sunday night, they were able to notice that every other night's torrential storm was now just a drizzle. Someone from another neighborhood would've been surprised about the sound of electric guitars, television and what seemed to be karting cars. But the everyday neighbors noticed subtle differences. Obiously, no one put much thought on it. First, because it was none of their business. Second, because a little less noise would always be welcomed. And finally, because they weren't so sure about their perception being right. After all, they could hear quite a mess. Maybe their intuition was wrong.

Little they knew, their intruition couldn't be more right. The key, as always, was in the details.

For example, Luan was watching, as always, her favorite comedy channel, _Fail Armada_. TV was at max volume, as it was always necessary to hear something above all the noise. But that night her laugh was missing everytime someone did something stupid, or fell from somewhere. The neighbors didn't hear the sound of an american football bouncing on every wall, knocking down the furniture right and left. There was just the sound of a pounding on the door's lintel, caused by Lynn's baseball, which she was throwing as she was waiting sitting on the stairs. The lightshow and explosions from Lisa's room was also absent that night, for she didn't need her machines to read her medical books. Lola and Lana seemed to be doing the same as always, driving the karting inside the house and playing with lizards, respectively. However, both tried to be as close as the entry door as possible, waiting for it to open any second now. Luna seemed to be doing her routine, too, playing the guitar with the amps at full power. But she was't playing nothing from _Smooch, Wink-182, Bomb Yovi_ or _Aero is Myth_ , like she used to do to release her accumulated tension and energy. She was playing a song from _We Totally Have a Name_ , the band the whole Loud family knew she only listened to or played when she was particularly vulnerable. The neighbors wouldn't find much difference, as they would hear the strong guitar riffs and they would think it was just another punk rock song as usual. They, of course, couldn't measure the amount of feeling she was putting into the lyrics of _'Dumb Reminders'_.

" _Honestly, I'd give anything, to be with you, right now..."_

Lucy was the only one who seemed to be doing what she usually did. No one had seen her since they arrived to the house, so they all assumed she was hiding on the vents, writing a poem.

Meanwhile, Lori and Leni were on their room, playing with Lily. Leni was resting on her bed, lifting Lily up. The baby was really enjoying herself, laughing out loud and moving her little arms with excitement. Lori tried to smile seeing that. She really wanted to. Smile, have some fun and distract herself. But the only think she could do was look at her phone. She had sent four messages to their parents, asking where they were, how was Lincoln and if they would be back home for dinner. The four messages had been sent, received and read, but she didn't have any sort of answer from them.

She wanted to keep calm. Really. She only wanted to convince herself that everything was okay. But being the oldest in a family as big as hers, she tended to worry an awful lot about every single one of ther siblings. And, even though she wouldn't ever say it out loud, not even to Bobby, she may worry a little more about Lincoln. The fact that he was in the hospital was really unnerving. Not having any kind of news was just making it worse.

None of them would openly admit it, but they all knew Lincoln was every one's favorite sibling. They didn't spent a lot of time with him; no more than with the rest of their sisters, at least. It wasn't that they didn't fight with him neither. Not even close. They often rationalized it arguing it was because he was the only boy among ten girls. How couldn't they not be so over protective with their only brother?

Maybe it was because they all loved him so much, or because he was actually the only member in the family that managed to always have time for all his sisters. Whatever the reason was, Lori had reached to the conclusion that he was the only one they could always count for. No matter how sad, alone or desperate they were, they knew Lincoln would always be there for them, no matter what. They loved him. And right then, they were really worried.

"I don't get it, Lori", said Leni, as she kept playing with Lily. "In the hospital they give you medicines, right?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't they give Lincoln, like, the medicine he needs so he can get better? Why's he still there?"

"I don't know."

"But he's okay, right? Mom and dad would tell us if he wasn't, right?"

Lori didn't answer her. She was checking her phone, trying to find an answer to that very same question. She closed her eyes and rised a hand to her forehead. She was having a headache because of the nerves. It wasn't helping how loud the house was. Until now, she was being merciful —she didn't wanted to upset her sisters, knowing they were as nervous as she was. But her parents had put her in charge, and she needed to make sure that everything was under…

 _Ding!_

A few seconds of silence after the doorbell rang, and then any trace of control remaining in the house was completely lost. Lori and Leni ran downstairs, almost crashing with Luna. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they found the rest of their sisters fighting to open the door.

"Alright, stop it!", screamed Lori. "Lynn, open the door."

Since she was right next to the door, she hurriedly opened it, with the twins poking out from her sides.

"Lincoln?" the three of them said, before actually seeing who it was.

"Um, no, I'm Jeff" said a confused teenage boy with some acne troubles, who was carrying two unmistakable square boxes, "Pizza Planet?"

Never, in his five weeks on that half-time job, Jeff had seen ten persons so disappointed for receiving their pizzas on time. The three little girls that had opened the door looked at him with despise.

"Stupid pizza", muttered Lynn, walking away from the door, looking for her baseball.

Lori paid the pizzas and she was able to carry them to the table without any of her sisters trying to grab them. That only accentuated their emotional state. Anyway, as soon as she opened the first special twelve-sliced pizza, they all immediately took theirs. They ate, enjoying the delicious flavour of melted cheese. They hadn't really thought about it, but they hadn't eat since lunch in the hospital, and they were hungry. With their stomachs being filled again, the Loud sister's humour started to get better immediately.

"This is great for my diet, since I need to _cheddar_ a few pounds. Ha ha! Get it?"

"The new episode of Princess and Dragons it's about to start, and someone has to watch it with me!" yelled Lola, looking angrily at everyone.

"Puaj, not today. I need to take care of Izzy. He's about to shed his skin!"

"Eew, that's like, totes disgusting" said Leni.

"This pizza is the only thing that can partially fill the empty void of my dark soul."

"The cheese seems to be only half a celsium degree from its melting point, leaving it in the perfect spot to enjoy it's flavour properties."

"It's rich" said Lynn.

" _Eat the rich, take one bite now, come back for more_ " hummed Luna.

"Speaking of more", said Lana, finishing her slice and standing on top of the table. "I'm ready to fight for the last slice of…!"

Her smile and determination faded as she saw the box. There was no last slice. There were two.

"We don't need to fight", said Lori, noticing how all her sisters were looking at the slice that shouldn't be there. "I bought two pizzas."

She opened the other one, and they all had seconds. The second half of the dinner was much more silent than the first one.

As soon as they finished their meal, every sister went back to whatever they were doing before the delivery came. Lori was going up the stairs when her phone started vibrating. She checked it. She stood still in the middle of the stairs, completely frozen, reading the message over and over.

She then ran to her room. She took her whistle and went back to the living room. She blowed as hard as she could so they would all hear her. They might be distracted, but the girls knew that not responding to Lori's whistle could only bring them bad news. A few seconds later, all the girls and pets were waiting in line. Lynn and Lucy looked at each other after noticing an empty space between them.

"Alright, listen up" said Lori, walking in front of her sisters. She wasn't wearing her glasses or her military jacket, but she inspired fear nonetheless. "It's almost nine o' clock, and tomorrow's monday. That means we all have school, and we're already past our bedtime to have a good rest."

"Actually, sleep cycles take in average one and a half hours, and a good night rest consists of..."

"Lisa" interrupted her Lori, standing next to the little one. "You shall not speak unless you're asked to. Undestood?"

"Yes, ma'am" answered Lisa.

"Excelent. As I was saying, it's time to go to sleep. You have ten minutes to arrange yourselves, and then you will ALL head to your rooms, where you'll be resting until falling asleep."

"But Lincoln isn't..."

"Those are my orders!" yelled Lori, shutting down any protest. "Now, to your rooms. If I find one of you getting out to somewhere that's not the bathroom, you'll wish you never were that brave."

Quickly, they all went upstairs, to their rooms. Lori turned away, sighing, and took her phone out to read once again the message.

"Lori?"

The blonde turned around. Luan was at the bottom of the stairs, some steps under Luna.

"Luan" said Lori, getting back on his dictatorial facade. "I think I was clear when I said..."

"Did something happened to Lincoln?" the younger one asked, with her hands crossed over her chest.

Lori didn't answered. She kept looking at the phone.

"Did they tell you something?" asked again.

"I… I don't know".

"Lincoln's our brother too" said Luna, angrily walking towards Lori. "If something… If they told you something, you better tell us."

"I don't know anything more than you do!" Lori said, showing them her phone. Both sisters quickly read the message.

 _Lori, take your sisters to bed early and make sure they get to school in time tomorrow morning. Your mother and I will stay here tonight._

"That's it?" said Luan, getting nervous. "Why are they staying in the hospital? Is he okay? What if something happened? Why wouldn't they tell us?"

"Shh, shh, calm down" said Lori, hugging her. "Calm down. They probably… They probably don't have the results yet. The hospital can't let him go if they don't know what he has. Maybe he needs to stay in for a night, for observation, y'know? Maybe mom and dad don't want him to be alone in the hospital, okay? Don't worry."

Even though she was actually trying to convince herself, her words seemed to calm Luan down. Lori looked at Luna.

"Everything's gonna be alright. Now, go to sleep. We all need to rest."

* * *

"Okay. Lucy, Lana, Lola, here's your stop" said Lori, leaving the younger ones at their elementary school.

The three girls went out of the van right away, going to their classrooms. Having dropped Lisa at the local college where she would discourse about atom colliders and their use on the jelly industry, only the five older sisters were on the van. Middle and high school was just a few blocks away, so they quickly got there. School, homework and being with their friends was just what they all needed right now.

"Our PE teacher said she would let us play with real tennis racquet, and not just those wood palets. I'm sure I can serve a ball from the gym to the house across the street."

"You better enjoy it, since it will be the last time they let you use them."

"Pff, PL-EASE, the moment they see my serve, they'll be begging me to play on the regionals."

"I'm sure they will."

Lori parked the van on the school's parking lot. She was about to get out along with her sisters when her phone started vibrating again. Thinking it was Bobby, impatient to see her, she checked it. Her whole body tensed when she saw it was a message from her parents, and as she was reading it, her blood started to get colder and colder.

 _Lori, as soon as you take your sisters to school, come to the hospital with Leni. Just the two of you. Don't let the others find out._

She started breathing hard, and her heart was working double time. They hadn't told her anything odd. It was nothing to worry about, just to go to the hospital with Leni. Nothing in that message seemed to imply anything bad had happened. Why, then, her heart seemed to be preparing to receive terrible news?

"Lori! You'll be late" yelled Lynn, seeing her sister still inside the van.

Lori tried to settle. She had to go to the hospital with Leni, without the rest of her sisters findind out. She needed an excuse.

"You guys go ahead. Leni, come with me."

"But school's over there" said Leni, pointing to the italian restaurant on the corner, before adjusting her aim.

"Just get over here, we need to go home" she answered, sounding irritated.

"Why do you need to go back gome?" Asked Luan. "And why are you taking Leni?"

"Because..." her brain was looking for an excuse that allowed no questioning. What could she…? Of course. "I had one of _those_ incidents. You know… _That_ kind of incident."

"Oooooh" said the four sisters, suddenly sympathetic.

"And why do I have to go with you?" Asked Leni.

"Because I ran out of equipment and I need to borrow some from you, ok? And I literally don't know where the heck you have your things, so get in the van and let's get out of here."

She sounded so irritated that her aliby looked much more real. Leni said goodbye to her sisters, and she entered the van once again. Lori quickly drove away from the parking lot, driving down the street.

"That's odd", said Lynn, suspiciously. "Our house is in the other direction."

"And Lori already had _that_ this month. I think she's _ovary acting_. Ha ha! Get it?"

"She looked kinda nervous. Why sould she…?"

Luna didn't finished her sentence. The three of them suddenly realized something.

"Lincoln!" They said.

"The hospital's that way!" said Luan, pointing out the direction Lori went.

"Do you think something happened to him?" Asked Lynn, worried.

"She was reading a text. Do you think they called her?"

"Maybe… _Should we stay or should we go_?" Asked Luna.

"What do you mean? Of course we need to go!"

"But, Lynn, what about school? What about your tennis class?"

"Luan, we're talking about Lincoln. Fuck that tennis class."

Normally, they would've told her not to swear, but right then, neither Luna or Luan were worried about it.

* * *

After twenty minutes of the worst traffic ever, Lori finally parked in the hospital's parking lot. She got out of the car, followed by Leni, and started hurriedly walking towards the entry.

"Wow, it must be really painful for you to come to the hospital" said Leni, commiserating her and trying to keep up with her pace.

"We're not here for me."

"What? But I'm okay! Why did you bring me if I'm…?"

Lori suddenly stopped and turned around to see her sister, who almost bumped against her.

"We're here to see Lincoln, Leni! For God's sake, don't you understand anything?!"

Leni was taken aback, surprised by her sister's reaction. She was about to say something, when someone interrupted her.

"I knew it!"

The older sisters looked back to se Lynn, running right at them followed by Luna and Luan.

"What?" Said Lori, dumbfounded. "How did you get here?"

"Chunk gave us a ride" answered Luna, clearly pissed off. "What are _you_ doing here? Why did you come here without us?"

"Listen, mom and dad told me to come. I don't know..."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Demanded Luan.

"They told me to only tell Leni!"

"How could you? He's our _**brother**_!"

Lori's instinctive reaction would've been to yeel Lynn that she already knew that. Maybe her most primitive instinct would've made her wanted to smack her out of rage. But Lori was trained to keep it cool. So she closed her eyes and breathed out three, four times.

"Look… You're right. I shouldn't have kept this from you. They didn't want you to know, but you're all here now, so it doesn't matter. I don't know why they called me, so don't ask me. Just… Keep it down, alright? Now, let's go see our brother."

* * *

"There!" said Lynn, completely forgeting the rule about keeping it quiet inside the hospital.

They had somehow managed to enter the room area without any doctor stopping them. However, Lynn probably just alerted all the doctors in the floor about their presence there. They went straight to the room Lincoln was staying the day before. The door was closed, but it had a big glass panel that allowed them to look inside. The five sisters tried to look through it.

They immediately recognized Lincoln standing next to the windows, looking outside. His doctor was standing besides him, speaking.

"Lincoln!" Called him Lynn, as she tried to open the door. But it was locked.

"Don't scream" tried to tell her Lori.

"Lincoln! It's us!"

The doctor looked at them, but Lincoln kept looking at the window. The two of them exchanged some words. The doctor seemed to be insisting on something, but Lincoln kept shaking his head. Finally, the doctor sighed and went to the door.

"Lincoln! Lincoln!" Was calling him Lynn, confused at seeing him turning around and heading to his bed, without even looking at them.

As soon as the doctor opened the door and stepped out of the room, the girls started to assault him with questions. There were too many girls speaking too loud at the same time, so the doctor naturally couldn't understand them.

"Okay, okay, calm down. Let's talk one at a time."

"How is he?" Asked Luan.

"Listen, your parents went to the cafeteria, they'll be back soon..."

"Can we see him? Please?" Said Lynn, consciously ignoring the fact that the doctor had avoided the question.

"He… Lincoln wants to be alone, for now."

"What?" They all said with one voice.

They started to speak in a helter-skelter manner once again.

"Girls!"

Fortunately for the doctor, the Loud parents were just arriving from the cafeteria, with a bag of sandwiches and two Starbucks.

"Lori! We told you to only bring Leni!" Reproach her Mr Loud.

"What's going on? Why did you spend the night here?" Asked Luan.

"Why aren't you telling us what's going on? Why only speak to Lori? We deserve to know just as much as she does!" Yelled Luna, clearly angry.

The parents looked at each other. The finally sighed, and their change of attitude confused the girls.

"You're right. You deserve to know. Listen, Lincoln wants to be alone right now, so let's not bother him. Let's go to the waiting room and we'll talk there, okay?"

With one last look at their brother's room, the five girls finally nodded and followed their parents to the empty waiting room. Once they were all sitting, the parents drank a sip of coffee, and it was then that the girls noticed their looks. They were totally disheveled and unkempt. Her mother was wearing no make up, meaning she had been washing her face. Both of them had big eye bags, and their eyes looked swollen. It didn't look like they had a good night's sleep.

"Look, girls..." started the mother, but she stopped when she couldn't find the right words.

"We're sorry we only spoke with Lori. We thought that, since she is the eldest, it was better to try to speak with her first."

"About what?" Asked Lynn, who was squeezing tightly her chair, like her sisters.

For some long, endless seconds, the only thing that could be heard was Luna's feet drumming the floor, trying without success to calm her.

"Lincoln..."

"What about him?" Impatiently asked Luan.

The tension in the air could've been cut with a single finger.

"He's… sick", said Mr Loud.

"Sick? How come? It was just a… I hit him with the ball and he fainted", said Lynn.

"No. It wasn't that. Lincoln was sick before that, it's just we… We didn't know. We… We didn't realize…" Said Ms Loud, her voice trailing off and her gaze lost somewhere, like she was thinking out loud.

"What do you mean 'before that'? Since when?" Asked Lori, trying to think about the best outcome for this conversation. Wishing with all her heart that this was going to have a happy ending.

"A long time. He's..."

Mr Loud raised his hands to his face, rubbing it a couple of times, cleaning out his forehead's sweat and massaging his temples.

"Now, listen, take it easy. Don't go… Don't panic, and—"

"Panic?! Why should we panic?!" Asked Leni, panicking.

Mr Loud finally sighed. He took his cup of coffee and took a deep sip. He looked at the dark liquid, and then he spoke.

"Lincoln has tumors in his head."

A plane could've crashed in the parking lot. A man could've entered that same hall with a gun and started shooting everywhere. A tornado could've ripped off the hospital's roof and dragged them out to the sky. Anything could've happened, and the girls wouldn't even noticed it. They all felt an invisible force grabbing their hearts on its cold grip, squeezing it, impending its normal functioning. Their lungs forgot their function, and after the air escaped them, it took them a couple of seconds to breath in again. They stood still, looking at their parents. They all knew Luan had inherited her dad's awful humor. They were hoping that any time now, he would tell them it was a joke. Then they could scream at him, hit him, hate him for the rest of their lives for such a bad taste joke. They were willing to give up their allowance and never speak to him again as long as it was all a joke. It had to be a joke.

But, never in their lives, had they seen him so serious.

"What?" Was everything Luna could whisper.

"He's got tumors." Repeated Mr Loud.

"What's wrong with having humours?" Asked Leni. She was absolutely sure she hadn't heard "humours", but she also knew she was a little dumb, and sometimes misheard things. She was hoping to be even dumber than she thought she was, and that she actually had heard wrong.

"Tumors, Leni. Tumors. They're growth of tissues that forms… I mean, they're like tiny little flesh balloons that shouldn't be there." Explained her mother.

"B-But… He.. How?" Luan couldn't even finish a sentence.

"It's a real long name condition" said Mr Loud, grabbing his wife's hand. "A genetic disorder. One of those disorders that only happens every once in a couple of hundreds of thousands."

"But how did this happened?" Asked Lori, trying to keep her brain from thinking in what this meant. "How come no one ever noticed it? He never fainted like this."

"It's a sickness that takes its time to appear. He had the symptoms, but… It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter now."

"So, now what?" Asked Lynn, finally managing to speak. "How will they cure him?"

The parents were looking at the ground.

"Is he going to surgery?" Asked Lynn again, her fingers getting white for the strenght with which she was squeezing her seat.

Silence.

"Then what?" She screamed, smacking down the cup of coffee her father was holding. "How do you treat this? Rays? Radiation? Pills? Injections? How? Do we need to get a donor? What do we do? How can we cure him?"

Her mother looked up, and Lynn had to walk back to her seat, for her athletic and well trained legs suddenly forgot how to stand when she saw her mother crying.

"We can't."

* * *

Two weeks. Maybe three.

Lincoln thought about the Olympic Games. Everybody was waiting them for years. People started to get really hyped some weeks before they started. Countries spend fortunes, the athletes dedicated every single minute of their lives preparing for them. They arranged their schedules, their training, their diet, everything just to enter the Olympics at their best. One day the Games starts, and every single TV channel only talks about them every hour, every day. Suddenly, everybody was an expert about sports they hadn't even heard of before.

Two weeks later, the Games ends. Athletes go home and people forget about them. Nobody cares about archery anymore. Who the hell is Michael Phelps? It was amazing to think so much joy and so many things could be contained in only two weeks. So many years of waiting, fulled of dreams, goals, challenges and preparation, all of them finally happening in two weeks. If you think about it like that, two weeks seemed like a lot of time.

But athletes came back home to train. People got back to their jobs and hobbies. Countries kept being countries.

Lincoln was just going to die.

The doctor explained it to him the night before. He was sick. He had tumors inside his head, and they had expanded. There was no way they could tell when, but it would soon reach his heart, which would stop working, and he would die. The doctor took his time explaining the whole process of the disease. He detailed the causes, the reasons, the organism responses. It was like he was reading a book. A really intersting chapter of the "Things that will kill you and we don't know how to fix, volume five". He seemed to be studying for a lessons, for an exam.

So Lincoln didn't pay attention. He wasn't a doctor. He didn't care the fascinating history of his tumors. He only cared that he was going to die. At eleven years old. In two weeks. Maybe three.

Lincoln never really thought about death. Who thinks about death, besides Lucy? No one. People live thinking about life, because they're alive. Everybody has some idea about death. They know it's something unavoidable, that everyone will have their time. But no one actually tries to understand it, since they believe their "time" is still far away. Maybe old people think about death. Perhaps a soldier finds himself thinking about death. A kid definitely shouldn't be thinking about death, let alone being forced to see it as something close. No kid should be thinking that he's going to die in two weeks. Maybe three.

He didn't cry, though. He didn't when the doctor told him the news. He didn't neither when he saw his parents crying, teared apart by the news. His mother's screams almost did it, but it was more because he was seeing his mother cry rather than because he was going to die. He didn't cry in the whole night, even though he was awake the entire night with his parents, not even closing his eyes for a second.

He wasn't sad. He was, mostly, angry. Because it was unfair.

The whole situation was an injustice. And that made him angry. That's why he throwed his food tray agains the wall. That's why his parents went to the cafeteria to buy a new breakfast and the doctor tried to talk with him, even though he didn't listened. Because he wasn't sad, he was angry.

And then he heard Lynn's voice. He heard his sisters trying to open the door, calling his name. And then yes, he was about to cry. He would have, but he didn't want to. He asked the doctor to leave him alone and keep his sisters out. He rested on his bed, trying to think about something else, because he didn't wanted to cry.

The door opened. He sighed, without looking away from the food stain on the wall. He heard someone coming in and locking the door again. It wasn't his sistes or his parents. It was probably the doctor. But there was something odd. His steps were accompanied by a thud, like there was something hitting the floor.

"Oh, it's okay, just ignore me. You can keep staring at the wall. I'm pretty sure it's intersting, with that new food stain you put. Fan of Pollock, aren't ya?"

Lincoln turned around to see the man who had spoken. He didn't recognized him. He was a tall man, wearing some old jeans and a blue shirt under a black suit. His hair was short, hoary and unkempt, with a two days beard that he didn't seem to mind. His stern face made him look like a serious guy, but nothing else from him seemed to support that idea. The most notorious thing was his cane, all black with some red flames at the bottom.

"Who are you?" Asked Lincoln, trying to sound nice.

"I'm your doctor" the man answered, sitting on the empty bed in the room.

"No, you're not. Mi doctor's shorter and—"

"Less handsome? Yeah, that's right", he interrupted him, while he took a a small bottle, took out a pill and swallowed it without water or any other liquid. "But that's just one of the doctors working for me. My name is Dr. Gregory House, and I'm in charge of your case."

"My case?"

"Don't feel special. It's just that some cases are harder to diagnose than others. The human body has a lot of parts, as you may know, and a lot of things can happen to each part. Sometimes it's hard to figure what's the actual problem. And it turns out I'm really good at guessing. I love medical puzzles."

"And I am a medical puzzle?" Asked Lincoln, confused.

"Not exactly. A pretty particular case, indeed, but not as challenging as I first thought you were going to be. Anyway, you're lucky I took your case. Otherwise, you would've stayed here for a couple of days without anyone figuring out what you have. God only knows this place's food sucks."

"Why do you sound so happy? They told me I'm going to die, but you speak like this is a game."

"And you're speaking like your girlfriend decided to play boo-boo-bear with the dumb bully that steals your lunch money", answered the doctor, inclining his head with interest. "My colleague, the less handsome doctor, said you haven't cried a single tear. He doesn't believe it's a defense mechanism, since you were ready to cry a little while ago. But you refused to do it, and managed to held back. That means you either don't understand what's going on, or you do and you've accepted it within a day. Either way, it's a really strange reaction for an eleven years old boy. So I came here to see it for myself and figure out if you're just an idiot or you're actually the most mature boy I've ever seen in my life."

Lincoln didn't answered. He kept looking at the wall. He remembered how just the day before he had an argument with her sisters about him being very mature. It all seemed so far away…

"Invisible note" said the doctor out loud, holding an imaginary recorder near his mouth. "It all seems to indicate that he's an idiot."

"I know what they told me", answered Lincoln, frowning. "I'm going to die in two weeks. I'm not an idiot."

"They why aren't you cryin' like any normal person in this world would?"

"Sometimes people react different to the same thing. When you're in a family as big as mine, you learn that."

"Oh, yes, I've heard about your mormon parents."

"They're not—"

"Still, I'm the doctor here. I had to tell a lot of people that they were going to die. Believe me, everyone has some kind of reaction."

"I throw a food tray agains the wall. Isn't that a reaction?"

"Yes, it is a logical reaction… when you're basketball team loses. Or when you get an F on school. Damn, it's a logical reaction for figuring out the perfect comeback for a discussion that already ended. Now, is it a logical reaction to be reminded of your own mortality by being told that you only got two more weeks? That asks for a bigger reaction. How do you feel knowing that?"

Lincoln definitely didn't like this doctor. He was talking fast, and he wasn't behaving like a real doctor. He was taking this whole thing like like a normal chat, without giving it the importance the situation deserved. As he was thinking about it, though, Lincoln remembered the other doctor, the one that recited by memory his disease, like reading notes. This doctor House seemed to be interested about him, Lincoln, as a person. Even if it was in some twisted medical puzzle way, he wanted to know about him. And, strangely enough, that made Lincoln decide to keep talking with him.

"I don't know. I'm sad, but not as much as I think I should be. I'm not sure I fully digested what this means."

"That makes sense. But if you're aware that you haven't fully digested the news it's because you know there's something more than what you've been thinking through, which means you have a slight idea of the implications this has, so you actually know how bad this is. Therefore, it doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe. But I'm angry."

"With whom?"

"Nobody. Everybody. It's unfair."

"Life's not fair, kid."

"Well, it should be. Why do I have to die this young? Why are bad people living long healthy lives and good people dying when they shouldn't? Why didn't the doctors diagnosed me when there was time to save me?"

"Oh, come on", said House, standing up and walking across the room. "There are over seven billion people in this world, and we're just a small grain of sand in this galaxy, which is not even the only one in the cosmos. Do you really think the Universe cares wether it's being fair with an eleven year old boy in this town that doesn't even have an updated Google Street View? Unless you believe in the existence of a long bearded man sitting in space counting every time a mockingbird dies in the universe, you shouldn't be surprised finding out sometimes bad stuff happens. There's no justice, there's no fair or unfair. There're just stuff that happens, sometimes we like them, sometimes we don't."

Lincoln looked at him. He was definitely the worst doctor in the world. A forty-something man yelling at an eleven years old boy that was diagnosed with a terminal disease. Normally, he would be really scared about an adult talking to him like that, but in that moment he actually wanted to hit him. He thought about what his sisters would do if they knew how that guy was treating him.

His sisters…

Doctor House saw Lincoln's face sadden, suddenly looking like he was about to cry. He looked down and close his eyes. With a sigh, he sat on the boy's bed, carefully enough to not be sitting over one of his legs. The both of them were silent, not even looking at each other.

"It's not the doctor's fault", House finally said.

Lincoln looked up.

"Perhaps, if some of them would've ordered some unnecessary exam out of a hunch, then they could've found it. But as I said, yours it's a really particular case. A lot of variables and coincidences. Did the doctor explained you what you have?"

"Yes. It's fibro… Fibrotomo..."

"Neurofibromatosis type one" completed House. "This particular type is when you have tumors on your brain nerves. It's usually hereditary, but there's a little less than a one percent chance for it to happen without any family antecedent."

"Lucky me", said Lincoln with a little resignated smile. House smiled aswell.

"It's a very complex disease that can manifestate in different forms. It can present its symptoms right away, or it can remain hidden and one day it suddenly appears. There are some signs, some symptoms. One of the most common is the attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD."

"Do I have that?" Said Lincoln, surprised. "How come no one ever realized it?"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure everyone noticed it. Let me guess, you have some concentration problems, you live turning everyday situations into intricate James Bond-like missions and you're really good doing a lot of small tasks one after another one, probably playing with each one of your sisters doing their sister's stuff."

Lincolns stared open mouthed, confirming the doctor's theory.

"Alright, but guess what? You were born in the communication era, when the average attention span of the human being has been reduced to twenty minutes. And you live with ten sisters, for godsake. If you had an average concentration level, you'd either be deaf or autistic. Only by reading your family records and seeing so many names, any doctor would assume you have some kind of manufactured ADHD."

Lincoln was dumbfounded.

"Anyway, that's one of the symptoms. But if being born in the biggest family on this State looks like a disastrous coincidence, you're gonna love this one: your grandfather is albino."

"Pop-Pop?"

"Exactly. I mean, I guess. But the thing is, your grandfather was born with a genetic condition, usually hereditary that can skip generations that makes him have, among other things, completely white hair. Cool, huh? When you were two years old and your hair started turning white, any doctor would think it was due to a slow activation of your grandfather's gene. Of course, they didn't had anywhere else to look. In a year or two, you would've started growing dark hairs everywhere, and maybe they would've considered the posibility of your white hair being the result of a discoloration produced by little tumors afecting the proper distribution of melanin in your scalp. If THAT doesn't seem like a a series of unfortunate events, then listen up: usually, a tumor may only produce discoloration on a single lock of hair, but yours were perfectly spread to make your head look like a beautiful snowflake."

Lincoln rested agains his pillow and took a hand to his hair.

"I… I shouldn't have my hair white?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say you should be either blond or brown."

"All this time..."

"Yep. The signs were there, but circumstances made everyone dismissed them."

It all looked like a dream. Like an intrincate TV movie plot. It was the perfect series of events for a comedy. It seemed so unreal for it to be true. And yet, he knew it was. He was dying because of it.

"You know? I usually don't go back on what I've already said. But now that I told you all this things out loud… Well, maybe the universe was unfair with you. I mean, all this shit and you couln't even enjoy only son's priviliges like your parents buying you new clothes instead of having girly hand-me-downs? You must've really messed up in another life to have such an awful luck. I had three cousins growing up, and it was usually unbearable. I pity you, kid."

Lincoln raised his head. House was looking at him with a little smile, like he was waiting for a reaction. Then it hit Lincoln. He wasn't telling him all of this to make him feel better. He just wanted to see him cry, telling him the details of his unfortunate fate. It was just a morbid talk to see his reaction.

He wouldn't allow this to continue.

"Did you really came here just to see if I cry or not? Would you like to see me cry? Would your curiosity be satisfied if you see me crying? Tough luck. Do you really want to know why I'm not crying? Because I'm thinking about me. I'm thinking about the time I have left, all the things I didn't do and all the things that I will never get to do. Because I'm thinking if it will hurt or not when I die, or if it's going to feel like falling asleep or fainting. I think about me, and I get angry, and I get sad, but it's not so bad. You know why? Because two or three weeks from now I'll be dead, and it won't matter anymore if I'm happy or not. 'Cause I'll be dead! And by thinking about me, I avoid thinking about the other ones. I avoid thinking about my parents. About how much are they going to cry when I'm gone, and how will that affect them. And most importantly, I avoid thinking about my sisters."

He paused a second to wipe his eyes, that had started to sweat.

"I don't think that I won't be playing with them anymore. That I won't be fighting or chatting with them. I stop thinking that Lori won't take me to the mall to buy comics anymore, and buy me an icecream if I behave! I stop thinking that Leni won't be using me as a male model for her hand-made clothes! I distract myself from thinking Luna won't sing me a song when I'm feeling blue anymore, or that Luan won't cheer me up with her videos of people falling from bicycles! I'm not thinking I won't be playing sports with Lynn, or that I won't hear Lucy's new poems! I don't wonder wether Lola's going to win the national Miss Princess pageant or if Lana's going to become the best plumber! I avoid thinking if Lisa will find something that will change the history of humanity forever! And I definitely avoid thinking that I won't be there to see what kind of girl will Lily grow up to be! That's why I don't cry, because I don't think about all those things! Is your puzzle solved now?!"

House stayed there, looking at the wall. He pretended to ignore Lincoln's sobs and his hard breathing. He pretended he didn't noticed the boy's hospital gown was now soaked, and that it kept getting wetter as the tears flowed from his eyes. He stayed silent for ten long minutes, until Lincoln finally managed to calm himself. He covertly passed him a box of tissues, which Lincoln used to wipe his tears and clean his nose.

Lincoln didn't even looked at him anymore. He had his arms crosed, looking nowhere in particular. He didn't wanted to speak with that man.

"You should've died."

Dang it.

"Thank you, doctor House."

"No, seriously. You were just a few minutes from dying. The headache you were having the last few days were due to one of the tumors growing against a brain artery. Yesterday, it finally detached, and ended up inside one of the main veins, blocking it. The intracranial pressure started going high, off the roof. Three more minutes and your vein would've exploted and you would've had a _c_ erebral hemorrhage. Had that happened, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Lincoln didn't looked at him. But he was interested.

"And why didn't it happen?"

"Because your sister hit you in the head with a soccer ball. The impact, thanks to one of those unlikely to happen coincidences of life that only seems to happen to you, split the tumor into smaller ones and started circulating in your blood. The sudden loss of pressure was what made you faint, and one tiny vein on your nose exploted. That explains the nose bleed."

"The other doctor said the smaller tumors went right to my heart. That's what's going to kill me."

"Are you listening to what I'm saying? The tumors in your head are the ones killing you. The ones that were supposed to kill you yesterday. It could've been sooner, it could've been later. Your time was supposed to be yesterday, but your sister gave you three more weeks. She have you a chance to say goodbye, an opportunity most people don't have. Think about it."

Lincoln felt his eyes watering again. He didn't answer. He didn't wanted to think about it. He wanted to stop thinking for some hours. He just wanted this day to be over.

"You are not an idiot." Said House, without looking at him, but with a tone that had a lot of respect in it.

"I wish I could say the same thing about you."

"Pople are idiots. We live surrounded by idiots. And once in a while we found someone who's not. I've treated hundreds, maybe thousands of patients in my career. But I'm pretty sure you're the most mature boy I've ever met."

Lincoln ignored him. House stood up, helping himself with the cane. He stepped away before stopping. He turned around.

"Your sisters were in the hall when I came in. They probably still are there. They wanted to see you. Your decision of not thinking about them so you don't feel sad it's completely logical. The most rational decision would be to stay away from them. It would make everything easier, it would make it hurt less. But, and this comes from someone who loves rational decisions, sometimes they're not the right ones. You're not dead yet, Lincoln. You still have time here. And if there's a single reason why this life's worth living, is to be with the people who makes us feel alive. I don't have that many people in my life. I don't even have a family I can count on. You have a beautiful family. In the end, it will be painful. It will be upsetting. But if you really want to enjoy your last days, don't avoid your sisters."

He was standing there, waiting for the kid to say something, but Lincoln wasn't looking at him. After waiting for a couple of seconds, House nodded, and turned around. His hand was on the door knob when he heard something.

"Tell them they can come in. Please."

House didn't turned around this time. He barely turned his head. Then he nodded once again.

"Farewell, Lincoln."

And then, Dr. House left the room.

The door was open for a minute. He heard some voices coming down the hall, but no one was getting inside the room. Lincoln didn't knew if he was really prepared for this. He had cried fifteen minutes ago, and he was pretty sure he only needed a push to do it again. A part of him was starting to regret this when he heard footsteps. Too afraid to look, he once again rested his gaze upon the food stain on the wall. He didn't even dared to breath. His whole attention was in that stain, until he could no longer contain it. Slowly, he looked up.

Standing near the farthest wall were his five older sisters. They were dressed up to go to school. Lori and Leni had their pants matching their tops, and they looked really pretty while not too sexy to cause them troubles in school. Luna wasn't looking as punk as she usually did, but she still had a black _Rhymes 'n' Roses_ t-shirt. Luan was wearing a common t-shirt, this one with sleeves that went up to her wrists, and Lynn's hair was slightly less messy than usual. What they all had in common was their red swollen eyes. The three oldest had their eye's makeup running down her cheeks.

The five of them were standing right there. They were looking at Lincoln as if he wasn't really there. Like they were afraid that he was an hologram, and that it would fade away if they came too close. Lincoln also stayed in his bed. He wondered if they could see he had been crying too. He didn't wanted to worry them.

Finally, since no one seemed to be ready to make a move, Lincoln decided to stand up. He slowly approached his sisters. Lori was the nearest. He usually looked up to her and saw her really tall, really big. A figure that imposed fear and respect over her younger siblings. Right then, however, she looked like a little girl. Delicate. Fragile. They remained in front of each other for some seconds. Lincoln immediately noticed her trembling lips and her watery eyes that seemed about to melt. It hurted him to see his sister like that. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to tell them that they shouldn't worry, that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. But he knew those were lies, and he couldn't convince them otherwise. Maybe doctor House was right after all. You can't avoid situations like that one, no matter how painful they are. Maybe some things were just meant to be painful.

He looked Lori in her eyes once again. Surprising even himself, he managed to smile with ease. It was a resignated smile, yes, but a smile nonetheless. Lori bit her bottom lip as soon as she saw that smile. And when Lincoln extended his arms, inviting her to a hug, she let herself fall right on her knees, until she was eye-level with her brother. And she hugged him like she hadn't hugged anyone before. And soon the rest of the sisters gather around and hugged their younger brother. Six souls bonding, sharing a most intimate moment words could not describe.

And the six of them cried.


	4. Masquerades

_I can't start this without thanking all the support you guys show me in your reviews. I usually write for myself, it's a personal thing for me. But it really helps to know that there are people out there enjoying this too. So thank you._

 _Now, last chapter had some controvertial things that some liked and some hated. Legitimate critics. And I'm not trying to excuse myself. I fully accept that I may have failed in making clear my intentions, and delivered a message that was not what I intended. This are not excuses, it's simply my explanation of what I intended for chapter three. Obviously, a good work speaks for itself, so the fact that I need to explain it clearly means I've failed. So, first of all, the author note at the beginning: it was a joke. I thought it was clear that it was just a joke. But I received some PMs about it, so I just want you to know that it was just for comedy purposes. Clearly I don't think it's the "saddest approach on the Loud House characters ever written", or whatever I wrote at that moment. I thought it was a funny way to introduce the chapter, and the "John Cena's announcer voice" was to make clear that it was all just exaggerated._

 _Second, the most controvertial aspect of chapter three: Dr House's cameo. I knew it was a risk play. I knew that it could backfire completely. I took that risk and I asume the results with honor. The main complain seemed to be that his appearance abruptly ended all drama and sad atmosphere. I see why you could see it that way, and clearly it was my bad, for I couldn't fully express what I intended. As I said, damage's been already done. I'll just explain my reasons._

 _He wasn't there because "LOL, DR HOUSE XDD". When I first drafted this fic's storyboard, the character was just an OC doctor that gave Lincoln some motivational chat about our time in this world, how we should enjoy our every moment here and try to leave our mark. A nice chat that gave Lincoln a reason to try and make the most of his remaining time. I even had this little fable prepared. Beautiful, isn't it? It's also just TOO cliche and predictable. And honestly, making that a part of Lincoln's character arc seemed almost cruel, a big lie and underestimation. Instead, I almost immediately knew that I wanted to take it from another angle. I'm not going to spoil anything, but as the summary says, a big part of this story is Lincoln trying to deal with his own mortality. A magic chat with Dr Nice that took all the drama away from something as serious as death... I couldn't do it._

 _That's when I thought about a cynic doctor that actually only confuses Lincoln at first. If I also added how complex Lincoln's condition was, the idea of some Dr House like doctor was evident. But Evident House rip-off is Evident. So I said what the hell and put him in there, with his name and all. About the tone, it was a misstep. It shouldn't have been so... I don't know how to say this in english, haha. Anti-climatic? Idk. But the way I see it, tho, Dr House is only "funny" in the context of his own show, where we accept his behavior like normal and hilarious. Outside the logic of his show, he's an asshole. Really. I invite you to read last chapter again from Lincoln's perspective (what I tried and failed to do). It's a guy insulting and trying to make a kid cry to confirm his theory. House was a Lincoln's counterpart. A cynical view of life, that even tried to dismiss the consolation Lincoln may found in religion just so he can see what's at stake here. That was his role: House is the archtype of the cruel reality that now weights on Lincoln's shoulder. He tries to avoid it, to not think about it, to ignore it even, but in the end he can't. He needs to face it and accept what's happening. That's why he finally lets himself cry, because he finally stops avoiding thinking about it. He accepts it. That was his first step on a long journey thats awaiting him. That's pretty much all I wanted to say about House._

 _About some other issues like the narration, truth be told, I actively tried to not give you a lot of details on how everyone's feeling. I tried to play with some general body language and a few mental images but not much more, because I have like a whole fic to develop their characters. However, in retrospective, it was a dumb idea. Sorry._

 _And sorry for this long intro. I just wanted to tell my point of view, not to change yours, just so you may understand why I did it the way it's written. I'm clearly not denying your critics, please, don't get me wrong. I'm taking notes on everything you say so I can improve. I'm currently in my second year in architecture, guys. If I couldn't tolerate critizism I would be changing carreer (our professors literally break our models every week, those bastards). Instead, I take everything you say as part of a constant learning process I'm on. And every critic it's my change to improve. So, honestly, thank you for your reviews._

 _Ok, now, ABOUT THIS CHAPTER. It's one of the first ones focused on a particular Loud sister. This fic will mostly be focused on Lincoln, but each sister will have their chapter. I already planned every sister's personal character arc, with some (if I may), interesting developments. This particular chapter is focused on... I won't say it, but her name starts with "L"._

 _And ends up with "ucy"._

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter 4:  
Masquerades**

 **.**

 **.**

The teacher was reading, but as it usually happened, Lucy wasn't paying any attention.

Her teachers just let her be. Mostly because they were afraid of whatever occultist ritual she might use against them if they made her angry, but also because Lucy Loud was a special case in the third grade class. She was one of the few kids from this new generation that seemed more interested in reading books than playing with her cell phone. This, at such an early age, made a great difference. It was obvious that third grade's contents were no challenge for her. She read better than most kids her age –and most older kids aswell–, she had great imagination and her reading comprehension was impeccable. Maybe she wasn't the best in math, but her literature works, the subject she was in at the moment, were outstanding.

Maybe that's why it was a little odd that during the entire class the girl hadn't stop looking through the window, not even listening to the poems her teacher was reading. Her ignoring Marianne Moore's poems was something. But to not even pay attention to Wilfred Owen's spooky war poems? That was new.

"Alright, everyone, we've already read some famous, great poems. Do any of you know a poem that you'd like to share with the class?" Asked the teacher.

Most of her students remained in silence. Some of them didn't actually know any poem, while others were ashamed of reciting a poem in front of their classmates. A girl then raised her hand, anxious to share what she knew.

"Hannah. Do you know a poem?"

"Yes. _The rose is red, the violet's blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you_."

"Very well, Hannah! I think we all know some version of that poem. It's a really pretty poem, don't you think? Anyone else?"

Tentatively, a boy raised his hand.

"Robbie? Do you want to share a poem?"

"Well… It's a poem my mom once read to me, but..."

"Come on, Robbie, don't be embarrassed."

Robbie blushed and recited the poem without looking at anyone.

" _All thoughts, all passions, all delights, whatever stirs this mortal frame, all are but ministers of love, and feed his sacred flame._ "

The girls all let out a love sigh, while the boys were pretending they were throwing up.

"That's a beautiful poem, Robbie. Coleridge, I think? Good one. Anyone else? No one?"

Lucy kept looking through the window, completely ignoring her class. She kinda heard what they were talking about, but she wasn't interested in participate, and she wasn't even trying to dissimulate neither. Teachers usually didn't bother her. And right then, she didn't wanted to be bothered. Logically, her need to remain undisturbed, alone with her thoughts, was automatically responded with an immediate interruption.

"What about you, Lucy? I'm sure you must have a poem to share with us", said the teacher.

As someone who tried very hard to conceal her emotions, Lucy knew very well how to read them. She knew her teacher was slightly worried, and somewhat doubtful, as if she wasn't really sure about this being a good idea. She also noticed the quick exchange of looks between her classmates. She could almost hear what were they thinking: 'Here comes the freak'.

She didn't care. She had long ago abnegated such banal things as her feelings. Her classmates appreciation, or the lack of it, was of no concern for her at all. What's some children dislike compared to the dichotomy of life and death? Or with the dilemma of the existence of the soul? What use did it had to try and be loved by others, if they were all inevitably heading to the endless void of darkness that was the eternal oblivion of death? They could hate her, they could call her a freak, for their words produced no harm.

She didn't need to be loved.

"Well? Do you have a poem, Lucy?"

With a loud sigh, she stood up in her seat. She had a lot of poems, indeed. Most of them were from her own authorship, but she didn't wanted to share her inner thoughts with the rest of the class. They were unworthy. She would give them some cliche thing, something to satisfy her teacher. She had this Edgar Allan Poe poem that was a total classic. She opened her mouth and her mind was ready to recite it just like she had been doing in her room so many times.

Lucy surprised herself, however, when from deep inside her chest –the place where her heart would be, if she had one–, a piece of a poem escaped through her lips. It was a poem she once read, and it had become instantly one of her favorites. It was just so sad to thing about it, so emotional and so blue, that she could not love it.

" _Music I heard with you was more than music, and bread I broke with you was more than bread. Now that I am without you all is desolate, all that was once so beautiful is dead._ "

The noise from other classrooms, muffled by the walls, and the reverberating sound of cars driving down the street was the only thing that could be heard. The teacher was worryingly looking at her. Her classmates understood the main theme of the poem and were a little shocked, and some found themselves containing their laugh. They wouldn't say anything right then; not in front of the teacher. They all knew, however, that during recess they were going to be talking about how much of a freak was Lucy Loud once again.

When she finally sat down on her chair and the metal slid on the floor's ceramics, the teacher reacted.

"Wow, Lucy, that was… I mean, it was really well recited. That's… Fantastic, yes, yes. Very well, uh, everybody write down your homework, please: next class, you must all bring a poem that has at least two strophes, and you must write what you feel when you're reading it."

Lucy wrote down that simple homework and once again looked through the window.

No one bothered her again for the rest of the class.

* * *

As soon as the recess bell rang, Lucy took her notebook. Moving as only she knew, she managed to get out of her classroom and into the playground without been seen. She sat with her back against her favorite tree, the one that was farthest from the rest of the kids, and started to write. She wasn't always writing poems. Sometimes, she just opened her notebook and let her wrist write in prose, without thinking about the syllables and the rhymes. She let the words flow, her thoughts manifesting on the paper. Anyone would call that notebook a diary, but she thought that word was implying something more girlish. She didn't have a better name, though.

That morning, Lucy wrote a small, two paragraphs introspective essay. She wrote without checking, no worrying about coherence or anything. It was her soul that was leading her hand.

"Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to conceal things, they end up revealing themselves. It doesn't matter how hard we try, the _tell-tale_ heart beats will be heard over the concrete and boarding of our skin. In greek theaters, the masks were something that actors used so the audience could recognize the characters from their seats, but they also amplified their voices, so they could be heard. It seems kinda contradictory. They hid the actor, they gave him the luxury of anonymity, but they also made it possible to connect with the audience. What's the point then? Do our masks only exist so we can connect better? What about what's under our masks?

For years, I've been adopting the beyond as my refuge. I see, immutable, shows my older sisters couldn't stand without screaming. I read poems my teachers couldn't read without crying. I think about things most people try to avoid afraid of the conclusions they might arrive. I feel comfortable in depressing environments, filled with sadness, pain and death. I've adopted darkness as my ally, my refuge. I live convinced that this is what I am. And yet, I found myself once again asking me if this is nothing but a big, complicated masquerade. If this is who I really am. Because if it is, if I truly renounced to my emotions, then why it hurts so much to know my brother's in the hospital?"

She was just writing the question mark when a ball came bouncing a few feet from her. Slightly raising her gaze from her notebook, she saw an older boy approaching, maybe from fourth of fifth grade. He smirked and picked up the ball.

"Hey, vampire. How come the sun hasn't burned you yet?"

Lucy ignored him. She was very good ignoring what other people said.

"Oh, I know, you must have your sunscreen, that's why you're so pale!"

His provocations were less witty and funny than Luan's jokes, which was saying a lot. Lucy kept ignoring him, writing about how she'd love to have a box of pins and a voodoo doll. She was drawing a doodle about that doll when the boy stepped closer and took her notebook from her hands.

Lucy remained still. From the outside, she was as emotionless as always, like a statue. But on the inside, she was angry. And scared.

"Give it back", she said, with the same tone she used with her classmates when she wanted to scare them. It also worked with her sisters. But not with that boy standing in front of her.

"Ooh, spooky", he mocked. "Whatcha gonna do? Hex me?"

"You're dangerously walking beneath the Sword of Damocles. One misstep and the edge of its blade will fall upon you with the swift might of justice."

That had to do it, because she didn't know what else to do. It was the first time an older boy came to bully her. Despite the serenity on her words or how calm she looked, she was actually trembling inside. Who would help her? She didn't have any friends to stand up for her. Lola and Lana would totally do it, and she was pretty sure they could take that bully down in a second, but their playground was too far away from that tree. In moments like that, being all alone was starting to lose its appeal. She could only hope for her dark and monotonous words to scare or at least confuse the boy, so he decided to leave her alone.

Unfortunately, the boy started to laugh.

"What does that even mean? I literally have no idea what you've just said."

"Sigh. The inferior mind, rejoicing in its own ignorance."

"Did you just called me and ignorant?"

"Wow. Maybe you do understand English after all", she said.

"Listen, you freak", said the boy, stepping forward. "I'll give you five seconds to apologize. Otherwise, I'm gonna..."

He didn't get to finish his phrase. After a thud, a punch that left him out of air and some judo grabbing, the boy ended up on the ground, his face mere centimeters away from a very angry girl face. Lucy couldn't fully control her emotions, and her mouth opened with surprise. She looked at the girl that was defending her.

"Ok, now you listen carefully. You're gonna drop that book, stand up, and you'll run away as fast as you can until I can't see that ugly face of yours. And you better keep away from this little girl. If you dare to even look at her in a hostile way, I'll leave your face so unrecognizable, your parents will have to check your dental records to be sure its you. Let everyone know: Lucy Loud is off the limits to your stupid pranks and bully bullshit. Was I clear?"

"Y-yes!" Said the boy, almost wetting his pants.

"Then what the heck are you still doing here?!" Yelled the girl, raising her fist.

With a very girly scream, the boy stood up and ran away. The girl took Lucy's notebook and, after shaking off the dust, she handed it to her.

"Here you got."

Lucy finally snapped out from her surprise and her face was all serious once again.

"Thanks", she said, grabbing her notebook and pressing it against her chest.

"You're welcome. That bully won't be messing with young girls anymore", she proudly said, waiting some comment from Lucy.

But that comment never came, for the gothic girl had just remembered the girl in front of her.

"I think I didn't introduce myself", said the girl, trying to carry the conversation. She extended her hand with a smile. "I'm..."

"Ronnie Anne", interrupted Lucy. "You punched my brother's right eye a few weeks ago."

"Oh", she said, losing her smile. "Well, I… He… It's complicated, but he sort of forgave me. We're cool now… I mean, we're like..."

"He talks a lot about you."

"What? Really? What does he says?" She asked, happily and excited, before regaining her cool pose. "I mean, yeah? Not that I care, of course."

"I heard him talking with Lori. He says you're rough, extrovert and the toughest girl he knows. But he also says you're funny, and really easy-going when you want to. He sounded very happy when he mentioned that you're really sensitive inside."

Lucy noticed how quickly Ronnie Anne was blushing.

"Yeah, well, aren't we all?"

Lucy didn't answer her. She kept looking at that girl. Like everyone else, she seemed a little nervous, but not because she was scared of her. It was like she was waiting for something, like she had something to say but didn't know how to phrase it. Out of curiosity, Lucy decided to keep the conversation going.

"Thank you for helping me with that bully. Good thing you were walking around here."

"Well, actually… I was kinda looking for you", said Ronnie Anne, grabbing her arm and looking down. "See, your brother didn't come to class, and his friend Clyde doesn't know where he is either. And… He's worried, you know? Clyde. He's his best friend, and… Well, I thought that maybe I could find out what happened, so I can tell him, right? So..."

"Lincoln is sick", simple said Lucy.

Ronnie Anne's face adopted a worried look.

"Sick? Like, really sick, or just-the-flu sick?"

Lucy would've answered her, but she didn't really know the answer. The right thing to do was probably just tell her the truth, that Lincoln was hospitalized since yesterday morning, and they had no news about him. That they haven't even heard about him or his parents since at least twelve hours. The girl looked really concerned, and Lincoln would probably be ok with telling his friends what was going on. But if Ronnie Anne cared about Lincoln as much as Lucy thought she did, then telling her all this would just make her worry. And Lucy knew first hand how awful it was to be that worried about a loved one.

"He may not come to school for a few days. But he's okay."

Ronnie Anne relaxed a little after hearing that.

"Oh, great. I mean, that he's okay. Well, I'll… I guess I'll go tell Clyde. HE was worried, y'know?", she said, emphasizing the "he".

"Don't worry. Your concern will remain a secret, just like this whole conversation" assured her Lucy, while she opened her notebook again.

Both girls remained in silence, Lucy writing and Ronnie Anne standing, not knowing if she should say something else or just go. Right then, the bell rang. Lucy closed her notebook and stood up. She walked past Ronnie Anne, without saying a word.

"Hey", she called her.

Lucy turned to look at her.

"If someone picks on you again, just tell them they're gonna have to deal with me, alright?" Said Ronnie Anne, with a smile. "I'm the only one who can mess with a Loud."

For the first time that day, Lucy let her lips curve into a smile.

"Indeed, you are. Thank you."

She walked away thinking about this rude, aggressive girl, so caring and worried about Lincoln. Lucy wondered if Ronnie Anne was aware of her own masks. Maybe they had more in common than it seemed.

* * *

"Lori better gets here soon, I need to work on my make up", said Lola, looking herself in a mirror.

"You just worked on you make up an hour ago", told her Lana, as she was hugging a frog she had found on the playground.

"Duh, a princess is always working on her make up. Perfection requires maintenance."

"You know what your skin requires? Frog slime!" She yelled, chasing her twin.

While the twins were running and screaming around the school's entry, Lucy was sitting in the stairs, waiting for the family van to show up so they could all go home. She repressed a smile when she saw it coming down the street. But the impulse to smile only lasted an instant, as she immediately noticed Lori wasn't driving it with all her older sisters from High and Middle School. It was her father, driving an apparently empty van.

"Daddy!" Yelled both twins, dropping their little persecution.

Mr Loud hugged her daughters.

"We missed you!", the twins said.

"I missed you too, girls", he assured them. "Now, why don't you get in the van so we can go home?"

"How's Lincoln?" Asked Lana.

"Can we go to see him?" Asked Lola.

Mr Loud stood up and opened the van door, showing that Lisa was already there.

"Of course we're gonna visit him. But the visit schedule is later. If you want to go, you'll have to behave and do all your homework, okay?"

"Yes!" Said both, getting in the car without fighting.

"Lucy! Come here, sweety!"

She entered the van and sat on the nearest seat to the driver. As soon as her father drove away from the school, she started asking him questions.

"Why didn't Lori came here to pick us up like usual?"

"I offered to do it", he answered, trying to downplay it.

"And why aren't you at work?"

"Because I asked for a day off."

"Why?"

Her father's sigh told her that he was getting tired of the questions. But there was also some… guilt in it? Why was he feeling guilty? Was he lying to her?

"Listen, your brother's in the hospital and… Well, your mother is staying with him, to make him some company. And I… I thought it was better if I took a day off, alright?"

"Where are Lori and the others?"

"Home."

"How did they get there so fast? Didn't they went to school?"

"Lucy, I'm driving. We'll talk when we're home."

Maybe it was how stern he tried to sound. Maybe because she was getting tired too of asking questions. Or maybe it was the resignated and sad tone underneath his voice that did it, but whatever it was, it made Lucy stay quiet for the rest of the drive.

When they finally reached their house, their father told them that Lori was making lunch, and it would be ready real soon. The twins decided that nothing would cheer Lincoln up more than some drawings, so they ran to their room to prepare their art, which probably meant a lot of crayons, glitter and glue. Lucy stood still on the hall.

Something was odd.

She didn't know what it was, but as soon as she stepped inside the house she noticed something. Like a different energy. A different atmosphere, as if the daily energy had suffered a major change. It was hard to explain. She knew that lunch was going to be ready soon, but she still took her notebook and a flashlight, ready to go into the vents to try and write something. Her day, that had already started with enough problems, had managed to make her even more worried. She urgently needed a comfy dark, close space were she could write her poems undisturbed. Before going up the vents, she tried the flashlight. Obviously, the batteries were spent. She started looking through her room, but she didn't find any.

When she walked next to the window, she saw something in the backyard. She cautiously looked and saw Lynn standing in front of her punching bag, the one she used to practice her martial arts. Although it was her roommate and she should be used to it by now, Lucy couldn't help herself to be surprised at the energy her sister had. Like right then. If the punching bad had a pain sensor, it would've thrown the towel at least six times in the few seconds Lucy had been watching. Lynn was throwing punches, kicks, knee strikes and elbows at an incredible speed, not even stopping for a second. Lucy had never seen her practice with such violence. She usually made more paused movements, more serene maybe. She really looked like a real karate master, specially when she was wearing…

Lucy turned around to look at Lynn's pile of sports equipment. Her karategi was right there, on top of it. That was really weird. Lynn always practiced with her karate suit on, even when she was doing kick boxing or something like that. She said that everyday clothes could not stand that kind of energy. She looked at her sister once again. She was now extremely close to the punching bag, applying a series of short but strong punches, like she was trying to mess up with its liver or something. She slowly began speeding down, until her arms were just hanging from her body. She had her forehead resting on the punching bag. Judging by the way her chest was moving, she seemed to be really out of breath. Well, there was another explanation, but Lucy knew Lynn was a really tough girl, even more than Ronnie Anne. She was probably just catching her breath.

Since there were no batteries in her room, Lucy sighed, knowing she'd have to ask one of her sisters. The first thing she did was going to the room right across the hall. Lily was sleeping in her baby crib, while Lisa was reading a big blue book that was titled "Neuroscience IV: Complex brain disorders".

As soon as Lucy entered the room, Lisa's wristwatch started to beep. She immediately looked up from her book and saw her sister. Lucy sighed. She couldn't scare Lisa, not since her wristwatch had an alarm everytime she entered the room where she was in.

"Hi, Lisa."

"I'm sorry, I do not possess triple-A batteries, nor double-A, nor A, or any other energy source based on zinc and manganese dioxide", she said, continuing to read her book.

Lucy sighed.

"How did you know I was looking for batteries?"

"You have an off flashlight in your hands and you seem to have adopted dark places as your preferred habitat. It doesn't require a genius to figure it out."

With nothing else to add, Lucy walked away from the room. She knew that asking Leni was a waste of time, and Lori was cooking. So she went straight to Luna and Luan's room. Luna's guitar was sounding loud and clear across the hallway. Since she was probably too focused on what she was playing, Lucy carefully opened the door, and entered the room as stealthy as possible. She had perfected the act of sneaking in behind her siblings in order to scare them. With a quick move, she was right next to the wardrobe, behind Luna, and facing her sister's bunk beds.

She was about to touch Luna's shoulder, hopefully scaring her, when she noticed two things. First, Luan was lying on her bed facing the wall. She didn't have her headphones, her camera nor her computer, and she didn't seem to be looking at her cell phone. What was she trying to do? Get some sleep? She would never do that, not with Luna playing six feet from her. And that was the other thing she noticed, Luna's music. It wasn't unusual for her guitar to sound clean, with no distortion. But Lucy couldn't remember her older sister ever playing a song that was so… sad? A love ballad?

" _Baby, why'd you leave me?_ _W_ _hy'd you have to go? I was counting on forever, now I'll never know. I can't even breathe…_ "

Luna listened absolutely every musical genre known to men –and some known to zebras–, but she NEVER played country. Why was she singing such a sad song? The only thing that occurred to Lucy was that maybe Luna had a heartbreak. Was she seeing someone? The last thing she overheard from the vents was about some guy that, Luna thought, looked just like Billy Joey Legstrong, the lead singer of one of her favorite bands. Did something happened between them?

While Lucy kept wondering about it, Luna continued singing.

" _I_ _t's like I'm looking from a distance,_ _s_ _tanding in the background,_ _e_ _verybody's saying, he's not coming home now._ _T_ _his can't be happening to me…_ _t_ _his is just a dream…_ "

The way she sang, the passion and energy she put in her strumming, and how her voice was cracking unsettled Lucy. If there was someone in the world who could feel the music and synchronize with it, it was definitely Luna Loud. But this… This felt too much personal. Lucy's sigh was unheard, hidden by her sisters's chords. Luna and Luan didn't even noticed the door opening once again.

Resignated to not getting her batteries, she decided to read in the tub, her second favorite place to be quiet. She entered the bathroom and positioned herself. She opened her notebook, placed the pencil on the paper, and waited for the words to flow. But they didn't. Although her mind was full of awful thoughts and sensations that practically granted a successful poem, she simply couldn't write. It might have been a writer's block, like she often had. But she actually knew that she was just too worried to write.

There was definitely something wrong going on, she was sure. It wasn't just about not having news from Lincoln. Something was wrong with her sisters. They all had their school clothes, and they had all prepared that morning to go to school. But there was no way that they could've arrived home, and THEN had their father drive to pick them little girls up. It made no sense and it was just something unachievable in that little time. It wasn't normal neither for Lori to cook lunch, nor for Lynn to practice without her karategi, nor for Luna to play such a sentimental country song, nor for to Luan to be just lying on her bed doing absolutely nothing. Something had happened. But what?

Then she heard a muffled noise coming from the vents. A few weeks ago, the Loud house had had an incident when, after eavesdropping on the vents, the siblings thought that their parents were getting rid of them. Since that day, they all had promised that they weren't going to eavesdrop again. But curiosity got the best of her. Lucy carefully left her notebook aside, and crawled near the vent's grating. It was undoubtedly her father's voice.

She should have ignored it. She should have walked away. She shouldn't have draw her ear closer to the vents, and she shouldn't have tried to understand him.

She shouldn't have heard him mourn.

"Why? Why him? Why my Lincoln?"

She shouldn't have heard him cry, and she shouldn't have put the pieces together.

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _Luna's song was "Just a dream" by Carrie Underwood. Not her style, obviously, but we'll have better music as the fic progresses._

 _Next chapter we'll be back with Lincoln. And remember, any critic you want to make, good or "bad" (there are no "bad" critics) will be accepted. So go ahead, review! See you next chapter!_


	5. Adrien

_Hi, readers! So, evidently, my schedule won't let me update on weekends. I'd love to, since no one really has that much time to read during the week. But, clearly I'll be damn to update on mondays and tuesdays for eternity (unless you prefer me to hold on and wait to the weekend… which I just can't do it, I need to update ASAP)._

 _This chapter's special. Some of you may think that this should've been chapter 4, but last chapter allowed me to introduce some subtle conceptual elements that are necessary to tell the story I've planned. I'm not saying I'm Jorge Luis Borges, but my fics always have some metaphoric and allegorical elements, just because my stories are not based only on the argument, but on a central topic I'm trying to communicate. The argument, or the plot (I think is the right word), it's simply the way I'm able to tell this central topic in an intersting and enjoyable way._

 _This chapter drives the plot forward, but it also has some very important elements for the rest of the story, this time not so hidden. They're pretty clear actually. They're easy to spot if you're willing to see a little beyond what's written, I think. But you don't have to bother looking for it. On chapter 7, they'll be re introduced and acknowledged, and they'll do their very important part for the story._

 _Before we start, I'd like to thank everyone of you who posted their review._ **ElectricLoud, Darth Atrox (** I don't take it as an attack, don't worry (Y) **), agustin163116 (** Aerosmith's my favorite band, and I love Dream On, but I don't think I can come up with a good place to put it :( **), FanficFan920 (** you'll get those chapters soon enough! **), Boris Yeltsin, NotCryingGuy, MorenoX25 (** again, ha **), TheEquestrianidiot 2.0, knightofolympus777 (** thank you! I thought it was far worse than that, haha **), Red The Pokemon Master, LoudSin (** they'll all have their character arc and development **), ABL, Samtastic 3.0, TMNTGFKittySidekick01 (** how do you even remember your own name? **), OmegaDelta, TexasGunKing, thehardboiledhit, Zach the Red Raider, gibn89** _and all the annonymous guest that reviewed as well. I actually never had this kind of impact with a story before, with 25 reviews per chapter mostly. Then again, it's the first time I publish a story in english. Might change that if I improve my writing._

 _And now, with the chapter._

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter 5:  
Adrien**

 **.**

 **.**

Lincoln's second day in the hospital was way harder for him than the first one.

The fact that little after a failed breakfast and an odd chat with a particular doctor his five older sisters found out about his condition was really… dramatic. He had never seen them so desolated. When they first entered his room, they looked like they were seeing a ghost. They were shaking, and they didn't wanted to get closer. When he finally did it and they snapped away from their trance, they all hugged him. That group hug with inconsolable crying was Lincoln's hardest moment ever. They stood like that for a whole ten minutes, hugging him, crying. It wasn't just a simple crying, like some tears flowing down their cheeks. They were more like heartrending cries. He, crying as well, tried to calm them down, but it was no use. Even when they separated, it was difficult for Lincoln to see the state his sisters were and not crying a little more.

Leni was the only one that looked slightly grounded. She was crying, more than any time in her life, but she seemed to be trying to keep her volume down as much as possible. Luan wasn't remotely interested in controlling her volume. She was on her knees, with her hands covering her eyes, trying in vane to contain her tears. And her cries were coming from deep inside of her. Cries of pain, as she felt a cold knife sinking deeper and deeper on her chest. Just when she thought the blade had stopped penetrating, the wound started to hurt once again. She was hyperventilating. It was like someone was taking the air from her lungs. She was crying like a hysterical child, fragile, scared.

Right next to him, Lincoln had Luna, sitting in a chair. The rocker was holding one of his hands, caressing and holding it tight at the same time. She had a box of tissues on a nearby table, but in any moment they would have to ask for a new one. She was the most silent of the sisters, but only because she was out of breath just like Luan, and all her energies were busy trying to keep her breathing.

After not sleeping in the whole night and the tremendous emotional exhaustion that were both his chat with doctor House and that moment with her sisters had Lincoln really tired. He carefully rested on his bed, which wasn't easy at all considering Lynn was practically hanging from his neck. The younger of the oldest was hugging him with the strength of a judo grab, crying over his shoulder. He had his right arm around her –his left hand was Luna's property– and was trying to calm her, but the girl could only repeat on his ear "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again.

Also sitting on the bed, holding Leni, was Lori. She couldn't stop crying neither, but she managed to speak to Lincoln between sobs.

"Linky… Whatever you want… Whatever… Just… Just tell me, ok?"

"Lori..."

"I'll take you to the mall and buy you as many comics as you want", she interrupted him. "I'll take you wherever you want to go. Just… Just tell me."

"Guys, please, just… Listen to me for a sec", he asked, trying to pull himself together so he could talk with them.

His sisters were still crying, and they refused to hear him. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, Lynn hugged him tighter, or Luan started to cry once again. It was all out of his control. Lincoln couldn't stand seeing his sisters that way. It was what he feared the most when the doctors told him what was going to happen. Not that he could blame his sisters. Just imagining how would he react if one of his sisters was in his place gave him goosebumps, and he felt a chilling sensation running up her spine. But still, he couldn't just see her that way. He was the Man with the Plan, a specialist on his sisters, he had to find a way to calm them. He doubted it would be easy, but he had to try.

"Girls, please, calm down."

If they heard him, they didn't let it show.

"Girls", he called them again.

Leni opened her eyes to see him, but no one else did anything. Luan was still crying disconsolately on the floor. Seeing her like that was broking Lincoln's heart, but it also gave him an idea.

"Knock, knock!" He screamed, trying to make himself heard above all the noise.

They all immediately looked at him confused. Lynn separated only the necessary to look at him, and Luan managed to control her crying, and was now just breathing hard. Having the attention of all his five sisters, Lincoln allowed himself to smile a little.

"I said, knock, knock", he repeated, his voice deliberately more calm than before. They all looked confused, not getting it, until Lincoln looked right at Luan. She, from the floor, was just as taken aback as her sisters, but after a few seconds her irritated eyes opened slightly, realizing it. Lincoln smiled at her and nodded.

"W-Who's there?" She asked, barely managing to speak. All those minutes of crying had caused her a sore on her throat, and it was difficult for her to pronounce the words.

"Ben", said Lincoln, again with his voice so serene and calm that it almost looked like an out of context dialogue. Luan tried to go on with the joke, but she was too affected to do it. She opened her mouth but the words wouldn't come out. It was Lori who finally played along with Lincoln.

"Ben who?"

"Ben trying to have your attention for a while now", he said, finishing the terrible joke. "Ok, now, I need you guys to listen to me, alright?"

No one laughed at such a terrible joke, but the surprise of it and Lincoln's serenity were enough to calm them so they could listen to whatever he wanted to say. The tears were still falling down from her eyes, now more slowly, but at least they were getting their breath back. Lincoln wiped his own tears and straightened himself up, lifting Lynn along. He hugged her tighter, gently squeezed Luna's hand and he lovely looked at each of his sisters. For a few seconds, he let his body speak for him. We wanted to tell them how much he loved them, and how hard it was for him to say what he was about to say.

"I know you're sad. I am too. And I don't mean to tell you that you don't have to be sad. I just want you to calm down a little."

"Calm down?" Asked Leni, looking at him without understanding. "Lincoln, you're… You're..."

She couldn't even say it. She hugged Lori to hide her new tears. Lincoln took a deep breath.

"Yes. I'm… I'm going to die."

It was like someone shoot them from the sky with an arrow of pain. They all felt a new stab on their hearts, and it hurt them just as much as the first one. Lynn throw herself at him once again, this time with her face buried in his chest and her hands squeezing his hospital robe.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" She yelled, tightening her grip on his clothes.

"Lynn, Lynn, relax", whispered Lincoln, putting one hand over her fist, softly caressing it. That calmed Lynn down a little, who still continued to wet his robe with her tears.

"Don't tell us to calm down, bro", said Luna.

"Lincoln… We can't… You..." Was trying to speak Lori, but she couldn't even complete a single sentence.

"I know, it's hard for me too", he told them. "But listen: you can't let the rest of the girls to see you like this. They can't find out."

"They're gonna know sooner or later", Luna told him.

"I know, but not yet. They're too young. They won't… They wouldn't understand."

"Understand?" Said Luan, finally getting on her feet and getting closer to him with a look that showed both pain and anger. "What is it to understand? Lincoln, you're dying!"

"I know!"

"And you ask us to be quiet? To calm down? Our brother is dying and you want us to calm down?"

"Look, I know this isn't easy..."

"Easy? It's tearing us apart, Linc", said Lynn, just as she started to cry harder against his chest.

"I know, I get it! Okay?" He said, raising his voice.

"What do you want then?" Ask Leni, honestly, with concern on her voice.

"I just.. I don't know… I don't want to see you guys like this."

"You're dying! How do you want us to…?"

"I'M NOT DEAD!"

He shouted so loud that all his sisters jumped in their seats. They stood quietly for a few seconds, during which Lincoln tried to calm himself down and wiping new tears from his eyes.

"I'm not dead yet. I'm still here with you. And it hurts so much to see you cry. I don't want to see you like this", he said, hugging Lynn, who was still lying besides him. "I don't want to. I can't. I know it's asking a lot. But do it for me, and for our sisters, specially for them. You need to be strong."

"We can't be strong", said Lori, with a new tear falling down her cheek. "Lincoln, we literally can't."

"And the girls… They deserve to know, bro", said Luna, officially ending the box of tissues.

"I told you that…!" Started to shout Lincoln, but he stopped himself, closed his eyes and took a long breath. "Look, I talked with mom and dad last night, and they agree. We can't tell them yet. We need to wait."

"Wait what?" Said Lori. "For you to die? Do you think it'll make it any easier for them if they found out later?"

"No… I don't know… But..."

"But what?" Lori vehemently hurried him.

She immediately regret doing so. Lincoln's bottom lip started to tremble, and he did all he could so he wouldn't break down once again. Luna, noticing this, quickly stood up and hugged him along with Lynn. He let them long enough for him to calm down, and once he did, he gently pushed them away.

"Lincoln..."

"It won't make it easier for them, but it will make it easier for me. Okay?" He finally said. "I don't want to bid goodbye from them so soon. I-I don't, I… I can't. I just can't. I'm not ready for that."

"Lincoln… We can't keep something like this from them. They… They need to know."

"Lori, please, I'm begging you", he asked, almost desperately.

"Dude, I'd like to know if something happened to you", said Luna. "I'd hate it to be left out from something like this. You're his family."

His five sisters started to speak at the same time, telling him that he couldn't do that to their little sisters, that they had every right to know the truth.

Yes. He wanted to keep them away from the truth. What was wrong about it? People hide things from everyone else all the time, specially from the little ones. Lincoln knew, for example, that when he was little and his parents told them about the stork and the babies, it wasn't because they didn't trusted him, or because they deliberately wanted to confuse him. It was because he wasn't ready to understand the truth. It was the same thing. He didn't wanted to tell the truth to his little sisters because they weren't ready yet. He wasn't a fool. He knew he would have to tell them at some point. It was impossible to keep it a secret from them for so long, and he knew it was just avoiding the painful moment. But he knew them well. It was hard to imagine how would Lisa react, but her sister loved him too much to be unaffected. And that scared him. Such a hard hit at such a young age… With Lucy it was kinda the same. Theoretically, she should be the one who could take it easier, since she had a particular view of death. But Lincoln knew her better than anyone else, and he knew that behind that hair, a little sensible girl has hiding. There was no way that she wouldn't be devastated by the news. And he didn't even wanted to think about how would the twins react.

So yeah, maybe he was being selfish. Could anyone really blame him? Why should they judge him? What gave them the right to do so? He was the one who was going to die. He had received the terrible ultimatum. In time, all his sisters would be able to overcome the pain, to move on with their lives. He wouldn't. He was going to die. Why couldn't he delay such a sad moment as that?

His sisters were clearly against him on that, since they were still telling him it was a bad idea. They were all talking at the same time, telling him what to do, what was for the best. They didn't accept his choice. Usually, Lincoln was very patient with his sisters. But the context had made him run out of patience.

"Shut up!" He yelled, silencing them. "Look, I'm not gonna tell them that I'm going to die, and neither will you."

"But..."

"No buts!" He interrupted Luan, who was taken aback by her brother's reaction. "It's my call! I'm the one in the hospital! I want it to be that way, and if you really care about me, then do it! For me!"

Something that he said must have hurt his sisters, for they looked like they had received a low blow, like they couldn't believe what they had just heard. Lynn slowly separated herself from him, something she hadn't done since they entered the room. She looked like she was about to say something, but Luna spoke first.

" 'If you care about me'? What do you mean with 'if you care about me'?" She repeated, looking angry. "Of course we care about you! We love you! Why do you think we're like this, you idiot?!"

"Luna!" Yelled at her Lori.

"I think you should leave", finally said Lincoln, crossing his arms and resting on his left side, not looking at any of his sisters.

"Lincoln, please ", asked Lori, getting closer. "Don't do this to us."

She seemed to be about to cry again, and that almost made Lincoln cry too, but he controlled himself.

"I didn't sleep last night, I'm tired. I wanna sleep", he told his older sister.

Lori looked at him. Her little brother, so fragile, so vulnerable. She wanted to stay right there with him, hugging him forever. But she noticed how teared apart by the news he was, just like them. She clearly couldn't blame him. Maybe he needed a time alone.

"We'll be back later, ok?" She told him, giving him a kiss on his forehead; she caress his cheek, but he wouldn't look at her. "We let you tell the rest of the girls when you're ready."

"Lori..." started Lynn.

"No one's going to say anything" sternly repeated the oldest. "Let's go."

No one had the strength to argue. Luna looked like she regretted speaking to her brother like that, but she didn't dare to say anything. Luan and Lynn got out of the room in silence, holding the impulse to hug Lincoln and barely containing a new wave of tears. Leni didn't say anything. She looked out of herself, like her mind was somewhere else. Lori was the last one out, dedicating one last look at her little brother.

Lincoln didn't feel good about the way he treated his sisters neither. He was pretty sure that there could've been better ways to handle the situation. But everything happened so fast, there were a lot of emotions, and his head has hurting just trying to assimilate it all. He wasn't lying when he told Lori how tired he was. As soon as he was alone, he sighed, all the pressure escaping from his body. He rested his head on the pillow, and before he realize it, he fell asleep.

* * *

His mother woke him up for lunch, which he ate almost in a trace, and he fell asleep immediately after. He slept the whole afternoon, not having a single dream, until Ms Loud woke him up once again, telling him that it was visit time and his sisters were about to come in. That really woke Lincoln up. He was happy to see them because he really missed them, specially his younger sisters. But a big part of him was also terrified. Terrified that maybe his older sisters hadn't kept their promise, or that the younger would've found it out anyway. Terrified that maybe he wouldn't stand looking at them without crying, and what would he tell them then? He would have to tell them the truth. And he wasn't ready for that.

His mother hugged him and told him that she would leave them alone. She got out of the room, and soon enough, his five younger sisters came in.

"Lincoln!" Yelled both twins at the same time, fighting each other to see who would get to hug their brother first.

"Wow, so much energy!" Told them, hugging them at the same time. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the hug. They weren't the most affective of his sisters but, maybe because of their age, it was more common for them to show so effusively their affection for him. He would normally shrug it off, but he really enjoyed those hugs, those "Thanks, Lincoln!", and most importantly, those little incomplete smiles.

"We brought you something!" They said at the same time once again, proudly pulling out a drawing of a stick figure with white hair, a beautiful princess dress and what seemed to be a snake around its head.

"Wow… I look so pretty here", he said.

"Of course, I made your outfit" said Lola, happily.

"And the snake was your idea, Lana?"

"Of course it was!"

"It's so cute. Is it hugging me?" He asked, a little worried that the snake could've been chocking him to death.

"No, duh. He's keeping you warm! That's how reptiles show some love, because they're cold blooded" he explained, as if it was something obvious.

"Oh, now I get it! Thank you, guys", he said, hugging them once again. While he was doing it he heard a click and he felt goosebumps, like all the hairs on his body reacting to a very subtle electricity. Confused, he looked at his right. Lisa was standing next to his bed, with a strange apparatus on her hand.

"Don't worry, Lincoln" she calmly said. "This device is only checking your hormonal levels and your basic vital signs. A little precautionary measure to take on such an ambiguous place regarding medical safety like a public hospital."

"Lisa, come here", he said, lifting his little sister on his arms, something she didn't seemed to like at all. "Didn't you miss me?"

"Clearly, your absence changes the chaotic variables of our house, which affects my calculations and predictions about the possible outcomes of the most daily innocuous activities that one can imagine. The alteration of the factors inevitably entails a modification of the expected results that we came to get used to, and as a scientist, I usually feel more comfortable in controlled environments, where the variables are always constant and measurable. When the status quo it's altered as it is now, the theoretical model upon which I base my existence also suffers its consequences, which can be labeled as negative."

"All that to tell me that you missed me?" Asked Lincoln with a smile.

Lisa rolled her eyes.

"Yes", she finally said, letting herself hug Lincoln for a single second, before getting out of the bed and pretend to be checking her devices.

"Poo-poo!"

Lily, carried by Lucy, was looking at Lincoln, moving her little arms, trying to grab him. Lucy took her to her brother, who quickly lifted her in his arms.

"Lily! Did you missed you older brother? Did you?" He asked, with the voice one usually uses to talk with babies.

Lily was just laughing, caressing all his face with her little hands.

"Oh, and you brought you blanky!" Said Lincoln, pointing out the blanket Lily had in her hands.

"An-ky!" She repeated, stuffing some of her blanket in her mouth. She snuggled against Lincoln, half hugging him and half using him as a cradle. He was happy to oblige.

"How 'bout you, Lucy? How are you?" He asked.

It was right then when he started to sweat, when he noticed something was wrong. His sister was standing next to him, with her arms crossed behind her back. She was looking straight at Lincoln's eyes, as if she could read between his apparent security and happiness. It was like she could see right through her brother's eyes and look at the deepest part of his heart, reading his feelings like an open book. Lincoln was terrified of what she could read.

"Lincoln, are you okay?" She finally asked, with her usual monotone voice.

He feared the whole hospital could've heard how hard he swallowed. Was his cold sweating visible at simple sight? He felt it running down his forehead. The time had come. He had to tell them the truth. Lucy knew it. Didn't she? But what if she was only worried? She hadn't said anything that implied that she knew more than the rest of her sisters.

Just in case he was wrong, he decided to pretend that everything was ok.

"Me? Yeah, I'm alright. I mean, I'm still here, but that's just because..."

"Don't you lie to me, Lincoln", she interrupted him, grabbing him by his shoulders, which surprised Lincoln and scared Lily. "Tell me the truth. Are you okay?"

She sounded profoundly upset, but she didn't seem to know the truth. Lincoln stood momentarily speechless, not knowing how to answer her. He thought that he could get away with it, keeping his little sisters from knowing the truth by just avoiding the topic. He never imagined that he would have to tell them such a straight lie. As he was thinking about how to answer her, Lucy was violently pushed away from Lincoln by the twins.

"What do you think you're doing?" Asked her Lola, standing with her twin between Lucy and Lincoln.

"Yeah, why are you treating Lincoln like that? Don't you see he's in the hospital?" Added Lana, looking at her a little angry.

"I'm just asking him how is he", answered Lucy, who seemed a little surprised by her sister's reaction.

"He already told you he's fine!"

"Ugh, do you _always_ have to be so dramatic and spooky?"

The twins didn't realize it. They were too young to understand it, and they were too busy worrying about Lincoln to think about Lucy's feelings. But Lincoln clearly noticed how her little sister's semblance had changed, and how much had those word affected her. Lucy sadly looked down to the ground.

"Hey."

Lincoln stood up, putting Lily on Lisa's arms, and he got closer to Lucy. He stood in front of her and put an arm on her shoulder.

"Girls, don't be so rude with her. She's just worried like everyone else, that's all", he said, and then he gently shook her so she would look up. "Lucy, I'm alright."

"Do you swear?" She asked in a whisper.

Lincoln didn't let her see how troubled he was, and he didn't allow the doubt and pain of lying his sister to show up on his face.

"I swear", he finally said.

As soon as he said it, Lucy hugged him with relief. He hugged her back, and soon Lola, Lana, Lisa and Lily joined them. That group hug was certainly happier than the one he had with his older sisters that same morning, but it was just as painful to Lincoln. The only difference was, he couldn't let himself cry this time.

* * *

"Lori, you sure about this?"

"Yes. The doctor said this might help you."

"I don't know..."

"Look, no one's making you do anything, alright? If you don't like it, I'll be in your room. We can play something there later. Just give it a shot, ok?"

After thinking about it a little more, Lincoln finally nodded.

"Fine."

He opened the door and stepped into the playroom.

After being with all his sisters –the older ones entered after the young left–, Lori told Lincoln that she had talked with her parents and that she would be spending the night with him in the hospital, so their mother could have some rest and go to work the next morning. He told her that she didn't had to, he could take care of himself for one night, and she didn't had to loose a school day. But Lori told him that there was literally no way he would be staying alone in the hospital. Besides, one day of school wasn't the end of the world. Her parents had told her everything she needed to know, and later Lincoln's doctor spoke with her to explain some things.

He told her that Lincoln could use a little visit to the pediatric wing of that part of the hospital, where there was a place where kids whose clinical state allowed them to could play and have some fun. He told her that beside the games, it could really help Lincoln to have someone to talk to, someone who was going through the same things he was. It could give him some perspective.

Not so convinced, he finally decided to listen to his doctor and her sister. He entered, and he had to admit, it was better than what the expected. It was a really colorful room, with cushions, tables, blocks, games and even a little TV with an old console. There weren't many kids there. Two kids that seemed to be the same age as Lola and Lana, a little girl Lucy's age drawing something on a chalkboard and an older boy, a little older than Lincoln, sitting on a table working on something with some tools. He looked to be very focused on what he was doing.

Lincoln, not knowing exactly what to do, decided to go straight to the TV and the video-games console. He took one of the joysticks and looked at the games they had there. Nothing from the last generation of consoles, but there was an old copy of a racing game. He wasn't totally used to the controls, but it wasn't that much complicated, and soon he was taking the lead. He then took a close curve and his car suddenly crashed against a tree that wasn't even there in the first place.

"Oh, come on!" He said.

"Don't bother, the game's glitched as hell" said the older boy with a smile.

Lincoln turned around and looked at him. The first thing he noticed was that the boy was completely bald. He looked at that for an instant and quickly looked somewhere else. The boy seemed to be twelve or thirteen years old. He had green eyes and a little scar on his right eyebrow, which gave his smile a mischievous look. Although it actually only looked like the shadow of his real smile. Lincoln had never seen such a young boy with such a tired face. He had big eye bags under his eyes, which seemed to be glowing only because they had to, like it was an obligation. His shoulders were practically hanging from his body, like it was hard for him to just sitting straight.

He didn't knew what was that boy's condition, but Lincoln already felt sorry for him.

"Oh, well, thanks for telling me. Is there any other good game?"

"Not really", he answered, looking back at what he had on the table. "My name's Adrien, by the way."

"Lincoln", he said, trying to see what was that boy working on without standing up.

Adrien keep working on it, until he noticed the way Lincoln was looking. He put his tools aside.

"Hey, wanna see something cool?"

Accepting the invitation, Lincoln stood up and stepped closer to the table. Much to his surprise, Adrien had an old wrist watch on his hands. It looked really old, made of metal, all bronze and with brown leather straps. Adrien has holding it upside down, with it's back unarmed, allowing them to look at the very complex gear system inside.

"What are you doing?" Asked Lincoln.

"This watch was my father's", he explained. "He died when I was a kid, and it's the only thing I got left of him. I always wear it. It's a nechanical watch, y'know? Really retro. But a few weeks ago I fell and it stopped working."

"So you're trying to fix it?"

"Honestly, I didn't knew it was going to be this hard", he admitted, frowning. "I was like 'Alright, I can do this, it'll be fun'. I knew this man in Morocco, Hamid, and he could make one of this in like twenty minutes. It was awesome."

"You've been to Morocco?"

"Been pretty much everywhere. I was born in France, actually."

"You're french?"

" _Je pensais qu'il était évident_ ", Adrien said, laughing seconds later after seeing Lincoln's confused face. "Yeah, well, I only lived there until I was five. After that, I started traveling a lot, and I had to learn English. I actually speak English better than French."

"So, you've been traveling a lot?" Asked Lincoln, sitting right next to him.

"Oh, yeah. Plenty. My mom and me. She was a teacher, you know? After my father died, she started writing some self help books, and boy, do those things sell. When I was five she decided that she was tired of living trapped in a routine and being stuck in out city. She sold our house and we started traveling around the world. Two years in Italy, two years in England, one year in Spain, one year in Morocco, one year in Egypt and then we came here. So here I am, fourteen years old and I've been living in seven different countries."

"Wow, that sound awesome", said Lincoln, with a dreamy smile, imagining himself traveling all around the world, meeting so many places and cultures.

"What if I tell you didn't even went to school, like ever? My mom home schooled me."

"No way! Dude, that's awesome! You've been traveling around the world, studying in your house?"

Adrien laugh a little, but Lincoln immediately noticed that he didn't sounded happy at all. He put his tools on the table and remained in silence for a few seconds.

"It's not as fun as it sounds."

"You kidding? I've never even leaved this state! It would be just incredible to travel around the world, meeting new people."

"Well, that's the problem, Lincoln", said Adrien, with sadness.

Lincoln lost his dreamy smile when he heard him.

"What do you mean?"

"I never had any friends. A met a few people here and there, but it's not easy to make new friends when you need six months to learn the basics from the local language. It's even harder if you don't go to school. Do you have any idea of what is like to be only you and your mom?"

Adrien was completely dumbfounded when Lincoln started to slowly laugh.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not."

And during the next twenty minutes, Lincoln told Adrien about his life in a family with ten sisters. The boy listened with attention, first surprised and them amused and laughing with Lincoln about all the crazy stuff that can happen when you live in such a big family. Then Lincoln started talking about Ace Savvy, ARGGH and King of the Rings, and they found that they had more in common than they initially thought. They soon forgot they were in a hospital, or that they even know each other until one hour ago. They talked like they had known each other for a lifetime. The rest of the kid's parents eventually came and took them to their rooms, and Lincoln was pretty sure that he had seen Lori on the corner of his eye checking on him, but she didn't interrupted him.

"Adrien, do you actually know how to fix this thing?" Asked him at one point, looking how complex the inside of the watch looked.

"Yeah. Well, kinda. Hamid taught me the basics. I've been trying to repair this thing for three weeks now."

"Did you made any progress?"

"Of course", he said with a smile, while he took a little nut, that was only 4mm in diameter.

"What is that thing?" Asked Lincoln, having trouble only trying to see it. It was just too small.

"This, dear Watson, is the missing piece", explained Adrien. "I managed to completely rearm the mechanical system of the watch, I've putted every piece in its place… Except for this one right here. I don't have any idea where this should be. But, hey, at least I know what's the problem!"

"That tiny little piece is making the whole watch useless?"

"Well, that's how machines works, specially old ones. Every single piece has its function."

"Wow. How much longer do you think it'll take you to find where it's supposed to be?"

"I don't know… I don't even know if I'll even make it in time", he answered, sadly.

They remained in silence for a while. Neither one of them had talked about their conditions or their situations. They had actively avoided the topic, but not it seemed like they had no other option but to acknowledge it.

"How long…?" Started Lincoln, but he trailed off in the middle. Adrien still understood him.

"Seventeen days ago, they gave me two weeks, so I should've been gone by now. It could be any moment now."

"You don't look bad", said Lincoln, earning a sarcastic look from Adrien that made him smile. "Okay, you don't look THAT bad."

"I'm on a lot of meds But it's just a matter of time now."

"I see", said Lincoln.

He knew that there was nothing he could say. What? The same insipid words his doctor had told him? He knew very well that they meant nothing.

"They told me I have two weeks left. Maybe three."

Adrien silently nodded. Then, he tentatively put a hand on his new friend's shoulder.

"It sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah… It does."

"This days I've been putting a lot of thought on why this is happening. Why me. But in the end… I think it's not worth it to think about it too much, you knoe? Stuff just happens."

"I haven't even told my younger sisters yet", confessed Lincoln. Adrien sighed.

"That'll be tough. Look, Lincoln… I don't know if you care about what I have to say, but I'll say it anyway. When I die, most of the people I met won't even know. I don't have any friends to be worried about me, it's just my mom. It's a little sad to think that she'll be the only one to ever remember me when I'm gone. Since they diagnosed me leukemia a year and a half ago, I've been thinking about that a lot. And I'm pretty sure she's been thinking about it too. I would've loved to have friends, more people to share my last moments with. Because, what gives some sense to our lives? Our job? Out studies? I don't know, maybe for some people. But I think life it's worth living because of the people we met. Our family, our friends, people we share moments with. I only got my mom, but have a big, beautiful family. Tell them when you're ready, but don't miss your chance to be with all your sisters and friends. After all, you won't get another opportunity."

Once again, they stood they quietly. Almost quietly. Adrien was very respectful and didn't say anything when Lincoln started to softly cry. They were like that for a while, until Lincoln calmed down. He finally stood up.

"Thanks, Adrien. I… I think I'll go to my room."

"Okay. Take care, Lincoln."

Lincoln started to walk away, but he stopped right next to the door.

"Adrien?"

The boy, that had turned his attention back to the missing piece of his watch, looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe it won't be for too long, but… I'll remember you."

Adrien smiled. He genuinely smiled. They stared at each other a few more seconds and then Lincoln walked away, heading to his room.

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _I love Lincoln. What can I say? When I'm using OC it's a little harder, but when I'm working with existing characters (the very definition of fanfiction) I always try that the characters themselves drive the story forward. I put them in certain circumstances here and there, put them in an unexpected situation, but it's their job to react and move the plot. In this chapter I let Lincoln (my interpretation of Lincoln, that's it) to decide which way this was all going. I made their sisters visit him, and I introduced Adrien, but it was him who moved the strings. And I respect him as a character because of that._

 _A somewhat different case, perhaps, it's with the twins. They're not my favourite characters in the show, but writing them so worried about Lincoln, stepping up for him against Lucy (exaggerated response from them, yes), they're just too cute. Man, it's gonna hurt my soul to write their chapter._

 _So tell me what you think about this chapter. What you liked, what you didn't, if Adrien seemed like an intersting character or not (in two more chapters you'll find out why he's here for) and basically anything you want. I hope you like the story so far, now that's starting to gain some deph and the problems are starting to escalate some._

 _Keep reviewing, it's great to be on college or anywhere really, feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, check my email and read your reviews at the moment. They usually cheer me up. So, you know, if you read this story and you want to inspire me and motivate me, just tell me what you honestly think about it._


	6. In the Loud House, in the Loud House

_Hi, everyone. This time it took me almost two weeks to update, but that's because I really prefer to take a little longer so the chapter isn't translated such in a hurry. I always write the spanish chapter first and then I translate it. But I often finish the chapter after like 4 hours straight writing (plus all the hours during the week), and then it takes me another couple of hours to translate it, so I'm afraid sometimes I don't even bother checking if I translate it right or what. That's why there are a lot of "he/she/him/her" in the wrong places; I know the rules, but I'm just so tired I don't even care anymore. So this time I decided to take a little longer and do a proper job… Something that you totally deserve._

 _Last chapter had a lot of Lincoln pondering about some things, and this chapter will follow that line. The fact that the questions he asks himself are not answered it's due to A) he doesn't have the answer for that (duh, right?), and B) it's up to you, the reader, to give the final thought. If you want, of course. If you're bored enough._

 _Ok, some stupid detail: I was trying to have every chapter titled with just one word, for some thing I once saw in a book I liked, but it's not really working for me, so imma just drop it. Probably I'll change some chapter titles in the next few days. Oh, and that reminds me: once I finish this fic, I'll edit every chapter to fix every mistake that I can find. The best I can, I guess, since I'm a fucking argentinian that never went to an english teacher more than in school._

 _Now, before we start, I'd like to thank every one of you guys that reviewed:_

 **Zero H Gundam, OmegaDelta, Jackd98** _(thank you! About the gender swapping, it's really because I don't check it twice before updating. Silly me. And the misplace of nouns it's probably because spanish has a completely different set of rules about the structure of sentences, and when I translate sometimes I may forget about it and do it in a word-per-word way, rather than the sentence as a whole)_ **, NotCryingDangIt, Sniff** _(Brian's an asshole, tho)_ **, NotAshamed2Cry** _(this guy gets it. And there'll be an epilogue, but I don't really want to say in which context it'll be, since that would be spoiling the end)_ **, Boris Yeltsin, PorcelanaRota** _(I honestly didn't know who Adrien Agreste was, and I had to look up to find out about Miraculous; sorry, haha)_ **, Darth Atrox** _(yeah, I could've put it all in one, I just decided to do it this way so the chapters were balanced in length)_ **, littlealexmartinez61910, Arysrm** _(hell no, I couldn't even kiss the tip of Heisenberg's shoes; I'm glad you like the story, though, and thank you for yout review and time registering)_ **, MorenoX25** _(like you say, you keep the numbers growing, so I'm not complaining haha. Anyway, this chapter will answer your perfectly timed question)_ **, agustin163116, Jonesy** _(as I said, I didn't know Miraculous or Adrien Agreste, it was a random classy french name)_ **, Baileyhopper** _(with chapter 5 or the whole story? Chapter 3 made me cry hard while writing it)_ **, Codymitchell1,** **ElectricLoud, TexasGunKing, He23t, Godzilla2915, ExMarkSpot, Samtastic 3.0, The Wannabe Writer Original** _(thanks! And I think we all want Lincoln to be happy. I hate seeing him like this, or his sisters. We gotta be, as Alphaville says, "Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst".)_ **, Hush** _(I really appreciate your review, and the fact that you shared such an intense real life story. And don't worry, I know how is it to lost someone you love too, and I could never lie myself that hard with a "And they lived happily ever after but without him" end.)_ **, slydog148, thehardboiledhit, Mew Shadowfang,** **xxitstaylorxx,** **A former writer** _(Aw, come on, man! Not even two weeks passed! Haha, cut me some slack. I can't be writing all day, I have college, a job, and a social life out there. And only if I die this fic will end up unfinished_ _)_ **RedEyes** _._

 _Wow, 32 reviews. That's actually pretty good for a chapter, right?_

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter 6:  
I** **n the Loud House, in the Loud House...**

 **.**

 **.**

"So, what will you do?" Asked the doctor.

Lincoln frowned. He looked at his sister Lori, looking for a sign of support. Actually, just looking to see a hint of what would she do.

"It's your decision, and I don't want to tell you what to do", she said, guessing what her little brother was thinking, "but I think you literally already know what me and all the girls would like you to choose."

She was right. He knew what his sisters would want him to say. There wasn't really anything to think, the answer was pretty clear. The problem, maybe, was that he had already imagined his last days, and this was changing the picture he had in mind. He didn't know yet if it was a change for good or if it'd make everything harder for him.

He looked at Lori once again and softly nodded. She smiled at him.

"I'll call my parents and tell them to come here as soon as possible", Lori told the doctor, who then exited the room.

Lori noticed that Lincoln seemed a little nervous, so she got closer and hugged him, stroking his hair. She kissed his forehead and rested her cheek on his head.

"It's gonna be okay" she assured him, almost in a whisper.

Lincoln never rejected a hug from his sisters, even if he would've pretended that he was a little too old for it if it came from one of his older sisters. But right then, in that moment, he didn't need to and didn't wanted to pretend anything. He enjoyed the hug, losing himself in his sister's warmth. They spent the whole night together. They talked for hours about mundane stuff, reminiscing old anecdotes. Eventually, they talked about the present and the immediate future as well, and even though they both cried once again, Lincoln was profoundly grateful with his sister. For being there for him. For keeping him company, letting their mother rest. Lori could be really bossy when she wanted to, but there was no one in the Loud house more willing to help their siblings than her.

"I'm gonna call dad, ok?" She finally said, moving away from Lincoln. "Finish your breakfast."

He didn't need to be told twice. He had barely started when the doctor came to tell them the news, and he was really hungry. Truth, hospital food wasn't as good and tasty as his house's —and it was light years away from the McBride's. But he wasn't going to be complaining about it.

While Lori was waiting for her father to pick up the phone, Lincoln started thinking about Clyde. He would have to tell him all, sooner or later. Maybe the new way the events were unfolding could make it easier.

"Hi, dad?" He heard Lori speaking, while he continued having breakfast. "Yeah, he's fine. Listen, the doctor came a few minutes ago and… No, no, he's fine, really. May I finish?"

Lincoln chuckled a little at the thought of his father panicking so bad to not letting Lori speak. Then he thought that he had every reason to be worried, and his laugh died in his throat.

"He said Lincoln's stable, he doesn't need any special care, and since there's no treatment… It's… It's only a matter of waiting", said Lori, trying hard to keep herself together and not start crying over the phone. "He can stay in the hospital so they can keep him controlled as long as he needs, but the doctor in charge of his case wants to give him the medical release… No, no, I literally just told you, he doesn't need any medicine… No… As long as he doesn't do much effort and rests, he should be fine until, well… You know."

Lincoln quickly finished his breakfast, while Lori filled her father in all the details of what the doctor had told them. Apparently, Lincoln's condition wouldn't be getting slowly worse over time until it killed him, as he first thought it would. He would actually live his last weeks pretty normally, until one day his heart would suddenly stop functioning and then he'd die. There was nothing science could do to help him when that time came, but until it did, he didn't need any special care other than not forcing his heart too much. Given his condition, the hospital had no problem keeping him hospitalized if he wanted so, but doctor House was willing to release him immediately so he could spend his last days in his own home.

He really wanted to spend as much time with his sisters as he could, instead of having to stick with a stupidly short visit schedule. Not to mention luxuries like high definition TV, a video-games console, clean clothes and his parent's food. He didn't have to give it a lot of thought, actually. The only "inconvenient" was that he always so sly and with a fool proof plan for everything, had already imagined almost to the detail his last few days in the hospital. This introduced a lot of variables that he hadn't considered in the beginning.

He stopped thinking about the solutions, plays and strategies that he might need in this new scenario when Lori sit next to him on the bed.

"Dad's gotta finish a small report on something, and then he'll take a break to get here, sign the papers and get you home", she told him, taking his hand in her own, and cleaning some crumbs he had in his lips.

"Can't you sign for him?" Asked Lincoln.

"I'm not your mom, nor your legal guardian, twerp", she answered with a little smile. "I'm not even eighteen yet."

Lincoln finished his orange juice and looked at his sister.

"How long will it take dad to get here?"

"I don't know. He said about noon."

He nodded. He pondered a little about how coming back home was going to feel like, now that it was all so different.

"Hey", called him Lori, catching his lost gaze. "Lincoln… Don't think so much."

He couldn't hold back a smile. His sister was too good reading him. She always knew what was going inside his head.

"It won't be easy, right? I mean, this days in home", asked Lincoln, feeling her sister tightening her grip on his hand.

"No, Linky. It won't be easy for anyone."

"But at least I'll have you guys, right?"

"Always", she said, with tears on her eyes.

The two siblings bonded in a new hug, one that didn't ended until well into the morning.

* * *

A little before noon, Mr Loud arrived to the Royal Woods General Hospital. After dealing with a little bureaucracy and having an informative chat with the doctor, they were ready to leave the hospital. Lincoln finally could dress himself with his jeans and his classic orange polo shirt. He walked between his father and his sister, who was holding his hand. He couldn't avoid feeling like a little boy, but suddenly he stopped caring about what other people might say. When they finally reached the reception they met some of the nurses that had taken care of him for the last two days. They hugged him goodbye, and he gave them the biggest smile he managed to have. He felt a little sad for not bidding goodbye Adrien, whom he hadn't seen since the night before. He really enjoyed his conversation with him.

They were about to leave the building when he felt the need to look back. He felt that unexplainable tingling behind his head that made him feel like somebody was watching him. He looked around until he finally say him, resting against the first floor's railing. A tall man, wearing jeans and a suit, with a crane on his hands. Lincoln wasn't really sure about what emotion that doctor made him feel the most. But, given the circumstances, he decided that the best thing to do was just bury the little resentment he had about him. After all, he had played his part to take him out of that negation phase of him.

From the distance, he raised his free hand to salute him. The doctor nodded, the only signal he gave about having seen him.

They soon got in the van. Mr Loud drove all the way to his work, to which he had to go back for the rest of the day. He then told them to take care, saying goodbye to his children and asking Lori to drive safe. The two siblings, the oldest and the middle one, arrived their house in a few minutes. The parked and Lincoln got out, just like he always did. He walked to the entry, just like he always did. He climbed the stoop, like he always did.

And then he stopped in front of the door. He didn't dare to move the knob. Instead, he immediately started noticing all the small things, all the details. The discolored wood planks, the recently replaced windows, the mud stains on the welcome rug. This wasn't like every other time. His house was suddenly more than just a house. It was the only place he would ever call home. He realized that he would never move, he wouldn't rent an apartment or buy a house.

A hand on his shoulder shook him out of this thoughts. He looked up and saw Lori, looking him with a sad smile.

"Let's go inside, Lincoln."

As soon as they opened the door, Lincoln was greeted by four anxious pets. While Charles and Geo were walking between his legs, threatening to knock him down, Walt was resting on his shoulders, gently pecking his cheek. Even Cliff, that usually hated being close to the kid was right next to him, purring.

"Hey, guys, I missed you too", he said, kneeling down so he could pet them.

Usually only Charles was that affectionate. Walt spend most of his time inside his cage, safe from the Loud chaos, and Geo was pretty much independent, barely bothering himself to be near his owners so they could feed him. And Cliff really only seemed to be comfortable with Lucy.

"Lincoln, I should probably go and pick the girls up from school. Wanna come?" Asked Lori, looking at the time.

"I… I'd rather stay", said Lincoln, a little insecure. "I mean, I don't want them to make a scene outside school when they see me."

"You're right", admitted Lori. "Still… I don't really feel like leaving you home alone."

Lincoln stepped away from his pets and got closer to Lori.

"I'll be fine. I just… I need some time alone. Just a little" he said, looking away.

Lori watched him in silence for a few seconds, trying to read him.

"Alright. I'll tell them that you're home so it won't be a surprise, and I'll try to maybe calm them so they won't hurt you with their hugs when we're here."

"Thanks, Lori."

"But keep you phone on you. And if ANYTHING happens, you call me, understood?" She said, with her classic stern tone, letting it clear that there was no chance to refuse to do as she said.

"Understood."

They hugged one more time, and Lori exited the house, leaving Lincoln alone.

He stood in the living room, noticing the silence he was in. Clearly it wasn't the first time he was home alone. A lot of times all his sisters had things to do and he took fully advantage of the peaceful and quite house, reading comics in his undies on the couch without bothering anyone, playing video-games all he wanted or making the windows tremble at the rhythm of SMOOCH. Those little peaceful moments were always received as a sip of water on the dessert.

That time, though, Lincoln couldn't help but feel depressed.

The Loud house, without all the noise and turmoil… It just wasn't the Loud house. That's who they were. And even with all the fights and complains, they all loved their family, they loved who they were. Every sibling provided his little share of chaos, which they couldn't really live without. What would be of the Loud house without Luna's music? Or Lola racing with her toy car? Or Lynn turning absolutely everything into a sport? Or Luan's jokes? It simply wouldn't be the Loud house they all were used to.

And how would the house be when he was gone? What did he really contributed with? How would the house dynamic change? He had no special talent. There was nothing were he had the spotlight. No distinguishing trait that had any real impact in the daily house routine whatsoever. He knew his sisters loved him, and that they would be devastated when he died. The days after his death would probably be sad and silent. An aura of sadness and anguish would surround the building. But for how long? Eventually they'd stop feeling that way. At some point they'd move on, they would go back to their routine. He didn't doubted that every once in a while they would find themselves reminiscing about him, specially on holidays or his birthday. He wanted to believe that deep inside they would never be the same —he was sure that he couldn't be the same if something ever happened to one of his sisters. But truth be told, he was convinced that his absence wouldn't really change the house dynamics at all.

He mentally slapped himself. He went to the kitchen and serve some orange juice, trying to get away from those awful thoughts. Those were some dangerously arrogant thoughts. Why should he ever wish to things to were different for his sisters? A good brother should be asking otherwise. A good brother would want his sisters to be happy, to overcome their loss and move on with their lives. Lincoln wanted to feel that. He wanted an altruistic sentiment to be born from deep inside his heart. But in reality, the only thing he could think of was the fact that he wanted his life to leave a print on everyone else's.

The image of Adrien quickly came to his mind. He remembered the boy's fear that no one would remember him other than his mother. He also remembered when they talked about his travels around the world, his experience in Egypt visiting the pyramids in particular.

Pyramids. Really, Lincoln didn't quite understand what people saw in them that was so cool. They were just some triangu… Ok, no, pyramidal buildings. The base was wider than the top. That was it. Lisa had explained him that great cultures around the world had built pyramids because its tectonicity made it simply the easiest way to build a big structure. It didn't require any column or arcs. Yes, it was a mystery how they moved all those big stone blocks, but honestly, Lincoln always thought pyramids were overrated.

At least that's what he thought before speaking with Adrien, and the french boy had given him a new perspective. What was amazing about pyramids wasn't its shape. It wasn't even the mystery of its construction. What made the pyramids so memorable was the fact that they had survived thousands of years. They had resisted the unforgiving weather. Governments, civilizations, wars. Pyramids had resisted them all. They were permanent reminders of a time before, the legacy of an entire civilization. They were gigantic monuments dedicated to the pharaohs. Thousands of years after they died, people around the world remembered them thanks to their monuments.

What monuments was Lincoln going to have?

Some desperate knocks on the front door distracted Lincoln. He barely made two steps out of the kitchen when they knocked again. Lincoln couldn't help but feeling a little scared. Who could be?

"Who's there?" He asked, standing behind the door.

"Babe? Is that you?"

Lincoln sighed with a mixture of relief and annoyance. He opened the door. The new arrival almost fell upon him, a consequence of literally being leaned against the wooden door, like he was trying to phase through it.

"Hi, Bobby", Lincoln welcomed him.

"Hey, little Loud!" Said the teenager, looking surprised of seeing him there, before giving him an awkward hug. "Thank God you're okay."

"I… beg your pardon?" Lincoln said, separating from the sudden and strange hug his sister's boyfriend had just given him.

"Lori hasn't answered my calls or text me back in twenty seven hours", he explain terrified, like he was speaking about his worst nightmare. "She never does that. And she didn't went to school today or yesterday, and I… I thought… Maybe something happened to you, dude. I skipped last period to get here."

"Oh", said Lincoln, understanding now. "Sorry, she stayed in the hospital last night taking care of me. She didn't have internet there, and I think she silenced her phone… She didn't wanted to get distracted. That's why she didn't went to school today, too. Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologize, dude! I was just worried sick. But, hey, you're out of the hospital now! That's great. What did you had, anyway? Lori told me you had an accident with your sister Lynn, but you don't seem to have a cast or anything."

That surprised Lincoln. Lori didn't tell Bobby anything? He knew that she wasn't texting with him since last night, with all the internet stuff, and because she had been busy taking care of him. But she had found out about his condition in the morning. She had had all the afternoon to tell Bobby. Evidently, she hadn't.

But Bobby deserved to know. He was part of the family, technically. And Lincoln needed to start practicing giving the news, for he would soon enough find himself having to do it not only to his friends, but his own sisters even. He needed to find the better way to approach the matter.

"It's a long story… Wanna sit on the couch?" He offered. "Lori's picking up my sisters, she's gonna take a while."

Ten minutes later, Lincoln had told Bobby everything he knew about his strange and terrible condition. He avoided visual contact throughout the whole explanation, looking at the ground as if he was trying to count every fiber on the carpet.

"...but I asked them not to tell my younger sisters, because… because… they're too young, and I don't think they're ready. And I… I'm not ready neither. I couldn't stand seeing my older sisters crying, but them I could kinda calm them, I think. But can you imagine that situation with Lucy, Lana, Lola or Lisa? I just can't imagine being there, watching them cry. That's what I don't want them to know yet."

By the time he finished talking, Lincoln was hugging his knees against his chest, resisting the impulse of crying that he felt everytime he stopped thinking about the fact that he was really dying, and even more when he imagined or remembered his sisters crying. He couldn't stand that image, it was heart breaking. He would do anything to keep them from suffering. As for now, the easy way to do that with the younger girls was to keep them ignorant about his disease. But easy for who? For him? Also, was the easiest solution the right one?

"Do you think I'm a bad person for not wanting to tell them yet?" He asked Bobby with a string of voice, still not looking at him.

His soon-to-be brother in law was petrified. He was sunken in the couch, like he'd been knocked out with a punch on his head. His gaze was lost and he had his mouth slightly open. One hand was resting on his chest, making sure that his heart was still beating and his lungs were still breathing. He was so dumbfounded that his brain only registered the question a minute after Lincoln made it.

"What? N-No, dude, of course not. I think… I mean… You… Damn..."

Se accommodate himself, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, and his hands supporting his head.

"Little Loud… I can't believe it. This… _Dios mío_..."

Lincoln, still snuggled up in himself, slightly moved his head to see Bobby. He looked like he was slowly digesting the news, and it seemed to had hit him real hard. But he wasn't crying, and Lincoln was grateful for that.

"Lincoln, dude. I don't know what Lori thinks, but I think you're doing the right thing", the young Santiago finally said, surprising himself for having come up with words to formulate a full sentence, given his shock. "These are… terrible news. Your little sisters can't handle it just like that. When you tell them, you gotta give them… What's the word? Contention. You gotta give them contention, man. I wish I could tell you how to do it, but you know I'm not the sharpest tool the shed."

"I'm terrified of having to tell them", admitted Lincoln. "It scares me more than the news itself. Having to say goodbye… from my sisters… I-I've… I've never thought s-something like this c-could..."

He couldn't finish. He buried his head between his arms, with his forehead pressed against his knees. While his shirt and pants started getting soaked, he felt a hand on his back.

"Lincoln… I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. This is something you and your family shouldn't be living."

"It's… It's unfair", he said between sobs.

"It's tough. But God's with you, man. He'll be with you 'till the end. With you and your sisters. And I know a kid like you will be received with open arms up there", assured him Bobby.

Lincoln had been thinking about it last night, after Lori fell asleep. He looked up, with tears still falling from his eyes.

"God? Why would God do this to me in the first place?" He angrily said, hoping that Bobby would understand that he wasn't really angry with him, but rather with the whole situation. "Why would he do this to my family? Shouldn't he be stopping this like this from happening?"

Bobby slowly retreated his hand from the boy's back. He looked down to the ground, embarrassed for not having an answer for what Lincoln was asking him. The Loud kid looked at him in silence, as his future brother in law was trying to come up with something to say.

"Not everything He does makes sense for us", Bobby slowly said, trying to finish the idea in his head and say the right words. "But the fact that some bad things happen to us doesn't mean he doesn't love us. It's all part of a grander plan, Lincoln. Think about Jesus: God send us his son and he made him carry his cross and die in it. He loved him, but he allowed him to suffer."

"Why? Why would he do that?" Asked Lincoln. The Loud family, despite the constant and annoying mormons jokes, wasn't really religious. He guessed they were all catholics, and they were all baptized, but they never went to church, and they didn't prayed in their meals or anything. He wasn't even sure that there was a single Bible in his house. So he wasn't really familiar with the details of Jesus and his life. And death.

"Because after he died and rose from the dead, he defeated Death and set us free from sin. God send his son to die so we could all be saved. It wasn't easy for Jesus. He himself said ' _God, why have you forsaken me?_ ' when on the cross. It wasn't easy for his friends or his mother neither. It wasn't easy, but it was all part of His plan. You gotta have faith that He wants the best for you and your sisters."

Lincoln put a hand on his head. There were so much thoughts, so many ideas and contrary opinions. Concepts like life, death, justice, Heaven, God, destiny, all things that he thought he knew but he really never gave too much thought about. He wondered if it was just because of his age, or if people actually lived without asking themselves those things. How many people wondered about whether God's actions were fair or not? How many stopped a second to think about death? He didn't know. But he did know that those were questions that put him nervous, that made him feel a ball of nerves on his stomach, and he was sure that he probably wasn't going to have an answer for them.

"You're saying all that like there was a reason this is happening", he finally told Bobby. "You're telling me that this is all some kind of lesson for me? Or my sisters?"

"Little Loud… I don't know. I'm just some dumb kid who can't even keep a job for more than a month. I wish I could answer you. But… Look, maybe you're right, and there's no reason behind this. That doesn't mean you can't give it one yourself."

After those words, none of them spoke for a couple of minutes. They both had a lot to think about, and the things they felt were hard to express in words.

"Oh, damn!" Bobby suddenly said, covering his face with his hands. "Ronnie's gonna be torn apart when she finds out."

Ronnie Anne. Lincoln sighed. He would have to tell her too. According to Lori, she already knew he was in the hospital. Apparently, Ronnie had been worried. His relationship with her was kinda complicated, but Lincoln knew they really cared about each other. Yet another one from whom it was going to hurt to say goodbye.

"Bobby, can I ask you a favor?"

The Santiago boy turned to look at him.

"Of course Lincoln, whatever you want."

"Could you not tell Ronnie Anne that…? Well, that I'm going to die? I… I'll tell her tomorrow. But I'd rather… I don't know..."

"Tell her yourself" Bobby helped him finish.

"Yeah. I don't know, maybe it sounds silly."

"No, no, it's alright. I think she'd like to hear it from you."

They didn't get to say much more. A few minutes later, the family van parked beside the house, and the sound of ten girls getting near the door announced the arrival of the Loud sisters. Lincoln rubbed his eyes on his sleeve, hoping to erase any trace of his tears. He sighted and prepared his best smile. He kept telling himself that he wasn't lying. That his smile was an honest one, since he was honestly happy to see them. He kept telling himself that it wasn't a fake smile.

Bobby was a little worried that maybe his presence would be awkward, but his worries were unfounded. Only Lori seemed to notice him. The rest of the girls only had eyes for Lincoln. Lola, Lana and Lily came running —and crawling— at full speed, almost knocking him down to the ground.

"You're back!" Said the twins in unison. "We decorated your room with drawings!"

"Poo-poo!"

"Really?" Lincoln said, hugging them. "I can't wait to see that."

"Lincoln" suddenly said a voice behind him, scaring him like always.

He was about to say hi to Lucy, after calming down, but Lynn stood between them without giving him time to react.

"What do you think you're doing?!" She yelled at Lucy, not so gently pushing him by the shoulder. "Do you want to give him a… a heart attack?! Are you crazy?!"

"Lynn, relax, she was just..."

"Shut up, Lincoln!" She blurted, pointing an accusing and threatening finger at Lucy. "Don't you ever scare Lincoln like that again! You hear me? Because I swear, I'll…!"

"Lynn!" Yelled Lori, trying to calm things down before they got out of control.

Lynn shut herself, looking furious at her roommate. Lucy's face was as inexpressive as always, but she had taken two steps back, and she seemed ready to run away at any moment. Lynn snorted and turned around. She looked at Lincoln, who has looking her back with worry in his eyes. The girl's expression softened, and the started to raise an arm as if to hug him. But she finally closed her fist so hard that Lincoln thought he heard her phalanxs thundering, and she stomped her way out of the living room and up the stairs.

Lincoln sighed. Her immediately older sister was already always aggressive, but in her times of crisis she was even worst. It happened that time when her team lost the Summer Championship, it happened everytime she got injured and therefore couldn't practice sports for a while, and lately it had been happening to her for a few days every month. She wasn't as bad as some people thought, and Lincoln would defend that to his last breath. It was just that her way of dealing with negative emotions was simple through the violent discharge of energy. He knew that, if he could talk with her, he could calm her, as he always did. But he also knew to give her some space. He'd talk to her later. It wasn't cool to scream like that to Lucy.

Speaking of which, when Lincoln turned around to speak with his younger sister, she had already disappeared without a trace, as silently as she had gotten behind him. No one could know where she has hiding now.

"What's her problem?" Asked Lola, about Lynn.

"If I had to choose an hypothesis, I'd say that her sudden change of moods it's due to a simple and expectable alteration in her changing hormone cycle, a logical reaction to human beings entering puberty. Specially on female subjects" said Lisa, as she walked in circles around Lincoln, watching him closely and writing notes in her little book.

"Don't ya worry, girls", said Luna, stepping closer to her little brother with a smile that didn't matched her sad eyes. "Lynn's just've been worried sick about Lincoln, too. It's just her way of taking care of him."

Lincoln returned Luna's hug, appreciating the effort she was clearly doing to keep happy and calm around the younger sisters. He tighten his hug, as a way to show him that he thanked her. Luna separated herself from him and stroke his cheek, while her sad eyes started glowing more intensely.

"I'll be rocking some tunes in my room" she hurriedly said, before leaving in a dash.

Leni too came closer and hugged Lincoln with a sincere smile, telling him how happy she was that he was back home. Unlike with Luna, Lincoln didn't seem to notice that she was faking, which he thought was odd. But he didn't give it much thought, since he soon noticed an absence.

"Where's Luan?" He asked, looking for her.

"She's up in her room", explained Lori, looking him with a face that was practically screaming _Just let her, she's sad_. He understood and didn't push it.

After welcoming him, his younger sisters dispersed around the house, doing their usual stuff. Lori got close to her boyfriend and hugged him. With a look, he told him that he already knew everything. Lori barely held back her tears, and she practically dragged Bobby to her room, where she could cry and talk with him without the little girls to hear it. Just in a few seconds, Lincoln and Leni were the only ones in the room.

"Lincoln, you want to come with me to the mall?" She excitedly asked. "There's a store that's, like, giving away their sandals. And I think I have some money to buy you one of those comedies you like so much."

"Comics, Leni. I like comics. And thank you, but, can we maybe go tomorrow?" He asked, feeling really bad about declining his sister's gentle offer.

"Sure, no problem", she answered, with the same smile on her face. "Whenever you want, Linky."

Without even asking him if he had other plans or just didn't wanted to go to the mall, Leni went to the kitchen, leaving Lincoln all alone thinking if he was ready to do what he intended to do right then.

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 _Latin America is one the most catholic places in the world. Bobby's religiousness it's not my vision (not even close), and it's no presented as a truth. It's just that I found logical for him to have those beliefs based on the context that we have on him and his background. So please, avoid any religious debate in the reviews, ha._

 _Next update will take 2 weeks, probably. Partly because of my obligations, partly because I don't want to hurry and give you a chapter fulled of mistakes and a lack of content, and also because this week we have 5 new episodes, and I want to see if they give me some ideas (this past week's episodes did) and if they add something important to the canon. I'm specially interested to find out how 'Dance Dance Resolution' ends, when his sisters land him 4 dates for the ball. I need to see if that affects in any significant way Lincoln's love interests, so my fic can stick to the canon as much as I can (so yeah, Ronnie Anne confirmed for next chapter). I'm glad I didn't name Mr Loud in my previous chapters, since this week we found out he's the 'OG Lynn' (as stated on the Loud House Instagram)._

 _I hope you liked this chapter. And just so I know what kind of audience I'm dealing with(?, let me ask you a question: who's your favorite Loud sister? If you want to, you can give me like your Top 3. I'll post my Top 3 in Chapter 7's introduction notes. Let's see if you can guess who my favorite sisters are (I hope I'm not too obvious when writing)._

 _So, who's your favorite Loud sister?_


	7. The weight on his shoulders

_I literally have no idea how I managed to write this in five days. And only in two writing session. I guess I had an inspiration attack. Or maybe I just wanted to get over with this chapter, since the first part it's about one of my least favorite characters._

 _Since I didn't wanted a 10´000 words chapter, I ended it sooner. No big deal. But I promised you Ronnie Anne on this chapter, and now she'll have to wait until chapter 8._

 _Now, I stand to my word and I give you my Top 3:_

 _According-to-Canon Top 3:_

 _1° Luna / 2° Lynn / 3° Lola (Tattle tale ranked her up)_

 _But I also have a headcanon Top 3 that goes like this:_

 _1° Lynn (Lynncoln, in a non-lewd, fraternal way) / 2° Luna / 3° Luan (I respect that some of you like her, but for me she's the worst. She has no backstory, there's no explanation for her bad-punning living style, she's agressive, doesn't take anything seriously and she's obsessed with filming her siblings. But in my head, that's because she's actually a really scared child, with no friends and that no one likes in school. Her comic relief is just a masquerade to hide the pain of feeling hated by averybody, even her siblings. When I think of her like that, I like her better. I hope today's episode doesn't bury her, tho)_

 _We can ALL agree, though, that Lynn Loud Sr AKA Dad is the best character, right?_

 _I'd like to thank you guys once again for trusting me and this story. I can't believe it has this kind of reception. You're the best audience ever._

 _So, thank you:_

 **Guest 1, Guest 2, agustin163113, Red Eyes** ( _thank you, that was the point of Bobby's speach: I can't ignore religion in a situation like this_ ), **Zach the Red Rider** , **Mew Shadowfang** ( _Home-Spun was a Top Tier episode, it would've been a great season finale_ ), **Unknown Russian, Electric Loud** ( _thank you! new episodes inspire me, they open a lot of doors_ ), **ExMarkSpot, Sonic Thruster, DANGIT-man, Arysrm** ( _I don't know that much about hospitals to have him just die there; and sorry but no, Lori and Lucy are just meh to me_ ), **Guest 3** ( _You almost nailed it! And we share the same Top 3, ha_ ), **Mr Noname, Samtastic 3.0, Jackd98** ( _1°: I think I understand what you're saying about Bobby. It probably was all too well written in the sense that he knew_ _EXACTLY what to say, right? I assume that mistake. 2°: He was annoyed because he wanted to be alone for a while. 3° It's actually really simple: I don't have anyone I could ask for, haha. I have a couple of friends who were born in the US, but it's not like I could go "Hey, listen, I'm writing a novel-lenght story based on a children's cartoon that I'm posting in a Fanfiction website, could you proof read it?", haha_ ), **jturne709** ( _based taste_ ), **The feels** ( _glad to comply_ ), **TexasGunKing** ( _I like your taste, amigo tejano_ ), **No One, BoukenDutch** ( _thank you for recommending my story, I'm happy that you like it so much!_ ), **Codymitchell1, . .mx** ( _gracias! también tengo publicada una versión en español, que espero que tenga menos errores que esta que está en inglés, jaja. Se llama "Réquiem por un Loud" también_ ), **MorenoX25** ( _the guru of this fanbase_ ), **BooruGuy** ( _anon, wtf? Hahaha, go back to /trash/ m8_ ), **and FullOfRegret**.

 _Okay, so about those last replies, I do have a drawing that I posted in an "anonnymous" page (I think you all know which one), and then someone put it on the Booru. Since I can't draw for shit, I'm not going to share it with you. The drawing itself it's just one part of the storyboard I made for the first chapter, with Lynn holding an unconscious and bleeding Lincoln. I'm aware of at least two more pics based on this fic, and I'm actually really happy that some of you took time to draw something based off this story. But yeah, that one with the crying Lynn on the park, that's mine._

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter 7:  
** **The weight on his shoulders**

 **.**

 **.**

Lincoln extended his arm. He quickly put it down, and sighed. He extended it once again, almost making contact, but his left hand grabbed his right wrist, stopping himself. He let out a groan of impotence, not believing that his own body could attempt to stop him from doing such a simple task. Frustrated, he rested his back on the wall, sliding all the way down to the floor, starting to think that maybe he wasn't really ready for this.

The sound of digital bells made him look up, only to find that he had finally pressed the doorbell with his head while sliding down the wall. He immediately got up and walked away two steps from the door, combing his hair with his hand and trying to look casual. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. Once, twice. All while mentally repeating himself that it wouldn't be that hard. He could do it. He totally could do it. He was the boss. He had thought about what he would say, about the best way to approach the subject. He hadn't found a magic solution, or one that fully convinced him that everything was going to be okay, but he had something to work with.

He impatiently waited for less than twenty seconds, although it felt longer than that time when he was trying to buy his tickets for SMOOCH. He heard the sound of footsteps getting closer, and the key scraping the metal of the door lock. Suddenly, all his confidence faded away from him. What had he been thinking? He wasn't ready for this yet. Maybe if he ducked to the nearest bush he could hide himself and come back later. Deep inside him, however, he knew that he couldn't hide the truth from the people he loved. He wasn't ready to tell his sisters yet, but he needed to start trusting in other people. And who was better to start with than the person he trusted the most in the world?

The door finally opened.

"Lincoln!"

"Hey, Clyde", greeted Lincoln.

His best friend looked the same as always. His dark hair in an afro that had not even a single hair out of shape, being constantly revised by his dads. The same black trousers and his classic yellow and blue stripped shirt. The same thick glasses, and the same smile as always, maybe a little wider than usual. They'd knew each other for so long that Lincoln almost considered him his unofficial brother. He was the only person he knew that liked the exact same things he liked, with whom he could share absolutely everything. And Lincoln needed someone to share all the things that were going through his mind.

"Where have you been?" Asked Clyde, excitingly approaching him, happy to see his best friend again. "It's been two days you don't go to school now, and you're not answering my calls! Did you ran out of batteries?"

"No, actually I couldn't ans… Didn't you called my house?" He asked, confused. He was expecting his best friend to know that he had been in the hospital. He knew his family would've told Clyde, had he asked.

"I called twice to your house, but Lori picked up the phone, and I passed out", he admitted, looking embarrassed to the floor.

Lincoln couldn't help but smile. He actually didn't like the fact that Clyde was so in love with one of his sisters; he didn't liked ANY boy to be in love with them, really. But in Clyde's case, being such a platonic love that would never be a thing, he didn't really much care. And he actually had fun seeing how nervous his best friend got at the mere mention of Lori's name.

"Then why didn't you went to my house and asked for me yourself?" He asked again.

"I don't know, I didn't wanted to risk Lori opening the door. But that doesn't answer my question, why didn't you went to school this past two days?"

Lincoln sighed, once again. He was starting to act more like Lucy lately.

"Can we go to your room?"

"Sure! Make yourself at home. But take off your shoes before stepping onto the carpet. And try not to scream, as you always do when you enter someone else's house."

Clyde guided him to his room, so they could speak quieter. Lincoln heard some movement in the kitchen, where he assumed Clyde's dads were cooking. He realized it was nearly lunch time, and he wondered if he had arrived at a bad time. Even more, maybe he should be in his house too, having lunch with his sisters. How come he didn't realize that?

"Clyde… Were you about to have lunch?" He asked.

"My dads were cooking, yes. Why?" He said, sill walking down the hall to his room.

"Maybe I should come later..."

"Why? Dad!" He yelled, turning around on his heels.

"Yes, son?" Said both Harold and Howard McBride, poking out from the kitchen not even one second after their son had called them.

"Can Lincoln stay for lunch?"

"Of course", said Harold, with a big smile and his smooth voice.

"I hope you like sushi. Tuesdays are our oriental food days", said Howard, who was wearing a white headband with Japan's flag in the center, combining with his red hair.

They went back to the kitchen before Lincoln could say anything, and Clyde quickly entered his room. Lincoln sighed. The McBride's were a really happy family. They never seemed to be nervous, or angry; they were always happy. Clyde had never said a single bad thing about his parents, and he never came to Lincoln with a family issue. He didn't envy them, because Lincoln profoundly loved his family, but he always smiled when thinking just how different their families were.

He entered Clyde's room. His friend was putting his stuffed animals in a wardrobe specifically designed for that purpose.

"Sorry about the mess, I just came from school."

A paper sheet. A single paper sheet was lying on the floor. That was Clyde's mess.

"Okay, so, does this situation warrants a sound of 'water against the rocks', or is it more of a 'wind between the leafs of an autumn tree' type?" He asked Lincoln, testing the different options on his white noise device.

"Clyde..."

"Alright, alright, what about some birds singing in the background?"

"Clyde!"

Clyde jumped on his feet, startled. He looked around looking worried. Lincoln took a deep breath to fight his nerves. He didn't wanted to be angry with his best friend, but lately he was having troubles controlling his emotions. He took one step forward and put a hand on Clyde's shoulder.

"Can we just sit down and talk?"

Clyde had never seen Lincoln's face so serious. And he believed he was seeing a little sadness in his eyes too. He may be a little naive, but he certainly knew when his friend was in need. And he would never fail him. He'd never fail Lincoln, his one true friend. In school they hanged out with some of the other kids, but it was mostly due to them sharing classes and basically being forced to be together. No one ever bothered to call him outside school, unless it was to ask him for his homework. Lincoln could probably be friends with them. After all, he was a really social guy, good with words, funny and with energy for everything. Clyde had none of those qualities. He couldn't even talk with girls without feeling nervous. Meanwhile, just a few weeks ago Lincoln had danced with the four dates his sisters had landed him to the Sadie Hawkings dance like it was no big deal, and then he had a date with Ronnie Anne in the arcades.

Clyde sometimes felt like he didn't deserved a friend like Lincoln. Someone so unconditional and who could stand all his flaws. He pondered what would happen if for whatever reason they fought and he stopped being his friend. It wasn't a nice thought.

"What happened, Lincoln?" He asked, sitting on his bed.

Lincoln sat on the other side.

"Clyde I… I was in the hospital since Sunday. I just came back home today."

Clyde gasped.

"What? In the hospital? What happened? Were you sick? Or injured?"

Lincoln summed up what happened on Sunday morning and afternoon in the park, playing with Lynn. He described how he suddenly found himself having trouble breathing, with his head and chest aching like someone was ripping him apart. He explained in detail his blurry vision, and the sensation that everything around him was happening in slow motion.

"I know that", interrupted him Clyde, worried. "It happens to me too. Those are panic attacks. You don't need to be scared, it can be treated. Doctor Lopez gave me some exercises to treat them, maybe he could..."

"It's not that, Clyde."

"But… What…? What was it then?"

"Clyde… Look, I'm going to tell you, but I need you to not freak out, alright?"

"I wasn't, but now that you said that, I'm starting to freak out."

"Clyde… I've… I..." Lincoln stammered. His plans were proving infructuous. All the phrases he had come up with were messing up on his mind. One thing was picturing himself explaining everything to his best friend, and a very different thing was being right there with him, seeing his reactions. He knew it would be hard, but not like this.

"Lincoln, you're scaring me."

He sighed.

"Look, the thing is… I'm sick."

"Sick?" Asked Clyde.

"Yeah, it's a pretty difficult name. Neuromotosis… Fibramoto… I don't know. It doesn't matter."

"Does that make you pass out?"

"Not exactly. Clyde… I should've died on Sunday."

Lincoln saw his friend visibly taken aback by his words, like someone had hit him in the face with a baseball bat.

"What?!" He shouted, standing up. "What do you mean?!"

"I had a vein in my head obstructed. In my brain. It was about to kill me, but Lynn's ball hit me hard enough to… I don't know, unblock it, or something. And that saved my life", he explained, trying to be as medically accurate as possible, but there were a lot of names and conditions he just couldn't remember.

"Are you serious? I mean, I know you're serious. You wouldn't be joking with something like this. But… I can't believe it. You were about to die?"

"Pretty close actually, according to the doctors."

"Wow", said Clyde, sitting right next to his friend and putting an arm over his shoulders. "I get why you didn't answer me now. I should've gone to your house and asked your parents about you. I would've visited you in the hospital."

"You would have had some troubles passing over my sisters", chuckled Lincoln. He and Clyde shared a laugh.

"I guess you're right. Remember that time when you had a paper cut?"

"Unfortunately, I do..."

"But, hey, at least you're fine now. We were really lucky that Lynn hit you with her ball. I don't want to even imagine what it would be of me if you were gone. Best friends forever, right?" He said, extending his fist so Lincoln could bump it with his own.

But Lincoln was just sitting there, staring at the floor, his lips tight in a grimace of concern. Slowly, Clyde's fist came down.

"Lincoln?"

It was now or never. He couldn't keep avoiding it. He had to man up and say it once and for all.

"Clyde, the doctors didn't cured me."

His friend frowned.

"What do you mean? Why would they let you get out from the hospital if you're not healthy?"

"Because they can't cure me."

"They…? What?"

"There's no cure for what I have."

Clyde stared blankly at his friend.

"But… But… They gave you medicines, right? To control it. So it doesn't happen again."

"No, they didn't. There's nothing that can help me. It's going to happen again, and next time… Next time I won't be that lucky."

Clyde withdraw his arm from his friend's shoulder and stood up. He started walking to and fro inside his room, breathing agitatedly. He stopped in front of his desk and started to open his drawers, throwing indiscriminately to the floor every paper sheet, pencils, pens and books he found while looking for something else. He moved on to his shelf and finally found his inhaler. He took the little device to his mouth and started breathing while pressing it. He held his breath for a few seconds and then he breathed out.

Lincoln just sat on his friend's bed, watching him repeat the process over and over again.

"Clyde.."

"This can't be happening", said his friend, his voice cracking. "Lincoln… Lincoln… Are you sure they didn't make a mistake?"

"They're doctors, Clyde."

"Doctors can be wrong too! Scientist can be wrong! Engineers can be wrong! Everybody makes mistakes!" He screamed, still walking nervously around his room. "You need a second opinion. Go see another doctor. Maybe a doctor from another state. A European doctor! Do you have you passport?!"

"I don't think they're wrong. The doctor who treated me seemed to be reliable."

"Jim Carrey is a reliable actor and he still did _The Cable Guy_!"

"Clyde, you have to calm down, you'll get an asthma attack", Lincoln worriedly said to his friend. He knew how Clyde had problems breathing when going through violent emotional breakdowns.

"I'm already having an attack!" Said the boy, throwing his inhaler to the floor and pressing his index and middle finger against his throat, checking his pulse. "Pulse accelerated, agitated breathing. I'm hyperventilating. What did Doctor Lopez said I should do? A paper bag!"

He once again ran to his shelf, throwing all his toys and comic books to the floor. He finally found a paper bag and put it over his mouth, breathing in and out with all his strength.

"Clyde, please, I don't like seeing you like this", pleaded Lincoln.

"Lincoln! You're telling me that it can happen again!" Complained Clyde, messing up his hair with both hands due to the stress. "How can you prevent it? A diet? Some vitamins? Skipping gym class?"

"Clyde, sit down."

"Don't tell me to sit down!"

"Clyde, please."

"Just tell me how can you prevent it!"

"I CAN'T!" Screamed Lincoln, standing up from the bed; he walked right in front of his friend and took him by the shoulders. "Clyde, I can't prevent it from happening again."

"But Lincoln..."

"I have two weeks left to live", he finally said, looking at his friend's eyes through the glasses.

Clyde's face contracted in the most eloquent expression of horror that Lincoln had seen in his life. His mouth seemed to be silently screaming, his eyebrows arched up, and through the glasses Lincoln could see his friend's eyes loosing focus. Clyde stood there, petrified for a couple of seconds, until his legs started trembling. Acting quickly so he didn't fell to the floor, Lincoln grabbed Clyde and dragged him to his bed, where he managed to sit him. Clyde was still with his gaze lost, but his hand started shaking.

His eyes focused once again on Lincoln. The white haired boy didn't knew how to react. He felt a terrible void in his chest that was wearing him down, like someone was slowly draining all his energy. He didn't felt like crying, though. It was painful, but not as bad as he initially thought it would be. It was an odd sensation. He felt like he should be feeling worst. He even cried with Bobby, and that was just an hour ago. Maybe that's why he wasn't crying? Was his body getting tired of feeling so blue? It sounded both stupid and unlikely, but now that he thought about it, Lincoln realized he was indeed feeling tired. It wasn't just the emotional weight of seeing his best friend like that, it was another type of exhaustion. Like something inside him was telling him that he needed to hold on, to stop acting so weak and vulnerable.

"Lincoln."

Clyde's voice brought him back to reality. He turned around and saw his friend starting to tear up.

"Clyde..."

"Lincoln!" He yelled, throwing against his friend, hugging him like when they were kids. He started to violently cry on his shoulder, flogging his own glasses and soaking Lincoln's polo shirt. The white haired boy hugged him too, to try and comfort him.

The bedroom door opened.

"Clyde, son, is everything ok? I thought I heard… Holy Moley! What happened here?!" Said Howard as he entered, seeing the disaster in his son's room, with all his things on the floor, and most importantly, seeing his son crying inconsolably. "Clyde! What's wrong?"

Clyde separated from Lincoln and ran right to his father, burying his face in his salmon shirt, almost the same color as his hair. Howard hugged him with all his strength, stroking his back.

"What is it?"

"L-Linc-coln!" He managed to say between sobs.

Howard hadn't seen his son cry this hard in years. He was getting scared. He turned his head and look at Lincoln. Of course, he immediately discarded the possibility of Lincoln having intentionally done something that could hurt Clyde like that. He was such a good boy…

"W-Why?!" Clyde shouted on his father's shoulder.

"Lincoln, what's going on?"

Lincoln saw how worried Mr McBride was about his son. He knew that look, that desperation. It was the same expression that had greeted him in the mirror since the last Sunday night. The very same expression he knew he had everytime he thought about his sisters. He knew the sensation of wanting to protect your loved ones, and he understood how Mr McBride felt. He hadn't really thought about telling Clyde's dads about his situation. But sooner or later they would find out, and Clyde's dad needed an answer.

"Well… Let me explain you."

Fifteen minutes later, Harold McBride was holding both his son and his husband, who were inconsolably crying on his sweater.

"L-Linc-coln!" Cried Howard, blowing his nose on a silk scarf.

"T-This can't b-be hap-p-pening!" Was mourning Clyde too, while his father was cleaning his face.

"Lincoln… I… I can't believe it", said Harold. Even if he was managing to keep himself together better than the rest of his family, he was just as devastated after hearing the news.

"I'm sorry", apologized Lincoln, not really knowing what was he supposed to do in a situation like that.

"He's apologizing! He's apologizing for dying!" Painfully cried Howard. "He's such a love! He's a good boy! Why is something like this happening?!"

"Howie, please, calm down."

"Dad! L-Lincon's gonna die!"

"Clyde, dear..."

"He's my only friend! I don't have anyone else!"

"Oh, come on, Clyde", Lincoln tried to intervene.

"What am I going to do without him?"

Harold didn't know what to say. He didn't have an answer for that. So he just hugged his son, trying to let him know that he was there for him. Then he looked at Lincoln.

"Is there anything that can be done? Any treatment?"

"It doesn't matter how expensive it is, we can help you!" Howard rushed to say.

"Lincoln, please, be honest. If there's something to do, anything, we will help you. Don't be ashamed to say it."

"I really appreciate that, Mr McBride, Mr McB", Lincoln told both Clyde's dads. "But there's nothing we can do about it. The damage on my heart is already done. And they'll never give me the green light for a transplant because I still have the tumors in my head, and it'll be just a matter of time until it happens again. If my heart doesn't kill me, my brain will."

The McBrides were absolutely speechless after hearing Lincoln. The three of them remained hugging each other, sharing their sadness. Lincoln didn't know what to do. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable there, knowing they were all crying because of him.

"Maybe… Maybe I should go."

"No! Don't leave!" Begged Clyde, looking at his friend, afraid of losing him.

"Lincoln, have lunch with us, please. We need you here right now", said, also in tears, Howard.

"I… Okay. I'll stay."

"I don't think we'll be able to finish preparing the sushi", regretfully said Howard. "I think we better order something over the phone. What do you like, Lincoln?"

"Y-You don't have to worry about that, just order whatever..."

"He likes pizza with double cheese and pepperoni", interrupted him Clyde. "He also likes double cheese burgers with medium fries, and peanut butter, jelly and mustard sandwiches, and vanilla, chocolate and pistachio ice cream."

"I'll order four of everything" resolutely said Harold, exiting the room.

"Son… Let's go wash our faces" said Howard, taking Clyde to the bathroom and leaving Lincoln alone in the now messy room.

Lincoln just sat on the bed, covering his face with his hands. That had been a lot more tough than he had imagined. He didn't really wanted to stay. He'd rather go running to his house and lock himself in his room. Maybe there he could cry without any worries, he could keep himself away from the sadness of watching a family cry for him. He could escape from reality for a while. But he knew he couldn't do that. He had to face it, no matter how hard it was for him.

He took his phone out of his pocket and started looking for the group chat he needed. He had quite a few. From school, from the comic store, but most were with his sisters. Different groups, with different combinations of participants. He finally found the one group chat he shared with his five older sisters.

 ** _[Lincoln]_**

 _I'm at Clyde's_

 _I told him… :/_

 _His dads want me to stay for lunch_

 _Can you tell mom and dad and cover me from the girls?_

His messages immediately were sent to all his sisters. According to the app, Luan was the first one to read it, so Lincoln waited for her to say something. But the minutes started passing by, and she didn't answered him. Soon enough, though, the rest of his sisters saw the messages.

 ** _[Luna]_**

 _You got it, bro! (L)_

 _Eat the rich lml_

 ** _[Lynn]_**

 _Why aren't you coming home for lunch?_

 _We've been waiting TWO DAYS for you_

 ** _[Lori]_**

 _Don't worry, Lincoln_

 _I'll talk with mom and dad_

 _Have fun_

 _And take care_

He wasn't happy at all with Luan's silence and Lynn apparent anger. That only helped to make him feel even more guilty. But he didn't wanted to worry about that right then. Not with all the problems he already had, more immediate problems. With a sigh, he stood up and went to the dining room, wondering if this kind of stress might turn his hair even whiter.

* * *

The sky was colored in the most beautiful orange tone Lincoln ever saw. It was clear, with just the right amount of clouds to be a little more poetic and to appeal to those who could paint it. Lincoln loved sunsets. He decided that, before dying, he had to see a sunset from a high place, so he could better appreciate its effect not only on the sky but on the city as well. Maybe he could go to the woods, since they were on a hillside. He had been there before with Clyde, when they'd tried to man up. Since appreciating sunset wasn't on their "manly stuff" list, they missed the opportunity. His sisters would probably be more than willing to help him fulfill that little wish.

He soon arrived his house, and just by opening the door he found himself caught up in the noisy mess he was used to. Lana was chasing Leni with a frog on her hand, Lola was having a tea party in the middle of the stairs, Lily was crawling butt naked on the kitchen, and from Luna's room you could hear the power chords of a song. So far so good. He could even hear a disaster going on upstairs, probably caused by Lynn.

He was grateful that everything was apparently normal. He decided to go to his room. He was starting to miss it. Being almost at his door, he saw Lana's frog passing by right in front of him.

"Hops! Don't be scared, Leni wasn't going to cook you!" Was yelling the little one, running desperately to catch her pet.

Reacting quickly, Lincoln crouched and caught the frog in the middle of a jump.

"Here you got, Lana", he said.

"Thanks, Lincoln! Did you see our drawings on your room?"

"I was about to check them."

"I hope you like them. I don't mean to presume, but I think I'm drawing better than Lola", she said with a smug smile.

"In your dreams, maybe!" Yelled Lola, climbing up the stairs with one of her plastic cups, pretending she was drinking tea.

"You forgot to draw Lincoln's ears!" Complained Lana.

"And you didn't draw his nose!"

"At least I draw him with his actual clothes and not a princess dress!"

"It was a prince outfit!"

"Well, he looked dumb!"

Lola glared at her twin sister with her teeth clenched. With a hatred gaze, she shook her plastic cup, like she was throwing hot tea to her twin. Lana stared at her with a raised eyebrown.

"Really?" She asked, impassively upon the imaginary attack. Lola seemed to be ready to punch her but Lincoln, perceiving the imminent danger, decided to act.

"Hey, do you still have your cops costumes?" He asked with a smile.

"Yes" answered both twins at the same time.

"You better suit up, because… the animal criminals just escaped their prison!" Lincoln dramatically said, taking Hops from Lana's arms and letting him go. "Oh, no, now Hops joined them too!"

"Who did he joined?!" Asked Lana, with glistening eyes.

"Why the Mascot Mob of course! Charles, Cliff, Geo and Walt. But it seems they're recruiting other animals now. Oh, if only we had some kind of police officers who could catch them before dinner!"

"We can do that!" Said both twins, rushing to their rooms to put on their patrol suits.

Lincoln smiled to his own idea. Having avoided a new fight between his sisters, he finally opened his bedroom door. Just one step inside, he already saw his little sister's drawings. They were hanging on his wall, and they showed him in different situations. In a tea party, fighting crocodiles, dressed like a prince, in a puddle of what he hoped was mud, and finally a big one that showed him standing up, holding one twin on each hand. On the top of the paper sheet it read "Welcome back".

He was touched by that last drawing. Seeing all three happy faces, the three stick figures holding hands, he realized just how much his sisters loved him. He took that paper sheet and put it on his chest. He was about to give in to his emotions and allow himself to cry once again when the door suddenly opened. He quickly put the drawing back where he found it and tried to recompose himself before turning around, seeing little Lisa staring at him with his typically bored look.

"Hey Lisa, what's up?" He saluted her, hoping she didn't noticed his watery eyes.

"Lincoln, I would appreciate if you could come with me to my lab a few minutes so we can discuss our plan of action, considering the circumstances."

"Plan of action? Circumstances? What are you talking about?"

Lisa sighed, adjusting her glasses.

"I believe it's a topic you would rather discuss in my room, where we are forty three point seven percent less likely to be interrupted by one of our siblings."

Without giving him time to say anything, Lisa abandoned his room, entering her own. Lincoln remained still with his face locked in an expression of confusion. He shrugged it off and finally went to Lisa and Lily's room. After closing the door behind him, he noticed that Lisa's lab, always full of chemicals, test tubes and weird gamma rays machines was now full of machines that, strangely enough, reminded him of the ones they had in the hospital. His sister was standing on a stool, preparing what looked like a really big syringe.

"Lisa? What's that?" Worriedly asked Lincoln.

"Clearly, this is a syringe, with which I'll draw the blood samples I need from your arm veins", she patiently explained, as if she was teaching Lily the vowels.

"What?!" Said Lincoln, stepping back. "No way I'm going to let you draw blood from me! Why would you even consider doing that?"

"To find a cure to your disease, of course."

Lincoln felt the air escaping his lungs, like he had received a punch in the stomach.

"Disease? You…? You know?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Evidently."

Lincoln slowly supported himself in the nearest wall, and let himself slid down it. This was terrible. Had the older girls failed to hide it? Did any other of his younger sisters knew? The twins seemed oblivious. But Lucy was nowhere to be found… Did she know? He started sweating. This couldn't be happening.

"Lisa… How…?"

"I spent the last few days nourishing my brain with information regarding genetic conditions and alterations on the normal state of the human body", said Lisa, signaling a pile of the biggest books Lincoln had even seen in his entire life. "In my last visit to the hospital, I managed to get a look at the test they did to you and what was the suggest and/or applied treatment. Knowing your symptoms and the measures taken by the trained medical staff, it wasn't hard to deduce that you have a strange variable of the disease known as neurofibromatosis type one."

They all knew that Lisa was a genius, but this exceeded everything Lincoln would expected from her. His sister, in two days, had learned enough to diagnose what apparently was a very weird disease that doctors hadn't detected in eleven years. A lot of times her experiments scared him and the rest of the family, but Lincoln was profoundly proud of his little sister. He was convinced that she would change the world eventually. In a family full of talents, Lisa was the one who held the most potential. Sometimes some of her siblings might've gotten jealous, but deep down they were all proud.

But smart as she may be, Lisa was still a four year old girl. And Lincoln knew that even though she usually tried to conceal her feelings, she still got them. It was just like with Lucy. She might shelter herself in her seriousness as much as she wanted to, but things affected her just like it did everyone.

"Wait, you didn't tell the other about this, did you?" He suddenly asked.

"Judging by the emotional state of our five older sisters, it's safe to infer that they are already aware of the situation. If they decided not to tell the rest of our sisters yet it's because they don't think of it as a necessary course of action. Therefore, I don't find the need to communicate it neither."

"Lisa, listen to me, this is serious. You can not let it slip like that time where I had chewing gum in my hair and you told Lynn", he warned her, remembering that time.

"Lincoln, that time my mind had no room for such a trivial occurrence. This, however, merits concentration."

Lisa took a terrifyingly long needle and put it on the syringe, hitting it slowly with her fingers to remove any trace of air trapped inside it. She looked just too calm, like it was an everyday situation. She may had find out his disease, but maybe she didn't know the consequences.

"Lisa, do you understand what's going to happen to me?" Lincoln slowly asked.

"Absolutely. Given the stage your disease is currently in and the advance it already had on your organism, I estimate that your body will manage to resist between two and three weeks before your heart finally fail, resulting in a premature death."

"Why are you saying it so… so… serious? Like you're reading it from a book?" Lincoln asked her, feeling suddenly a little upset. "Aren't you worried that I'm going to die?"

Lisa left the syringe aside and stepped down the tool. She walked all the way to his brother, stopping right in front of him with her head up to maintain visual contact. She stared at him with seriousness in her eyes, although through her glasses Lincoln could notice a special glistening in her eyes, one that he didn't remember seeing in her little sister in a long time.

"Of course I'm worried about you, Lincoln. That's why I've decided to postpone all my projects, researches and even my professorship on the Royal Woods State University so I can devote my full abilities, resources and time to find the cure for this yet untreatable disease. Two weeks it's a too short and demanding term. This might be the most challenging task I've faced in all my two years of career, but never before was I obliged to use the one hundred percent of my capacities. Failure is not an option. Therefore, the only logical and acceptable outcome is for me to be able to cure you."

She sounded just like always. No one could ever notice the difference. But Lincoln, somehow, was able to distinguish the worry behind Lisa's words. He kneel down to be close to her height and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Lisa, I don't want you to be under so much pressure."

"I need to find a cure to your disease", repeated Lisa, shaking her head. "It's the least I can do. After all, with all this years experimenting on you I failed to notice the anomalies on your brain."

"Come on, you can't blame yourself for that. No doctor ever noticed there was something wrong with me."

"Still, I should have found it sooner. Now I will compensate my mistake finding the cure to your condition."

Lincoln sighed. In a way, his sister had just taken a great weight off his back. He didn't had to find a way to tell her the truth. He now didn't had to gather an impossible amount of courage to explain a situation that overwhelmed him. Now he didn't had to see her cry for him, as he thought he would.

What he did feared now, however, was that Lisa had relieved him from some of his pressure by taking a heavier one for her. The four years old girl couldn't pretend to carry the responsibility of having to find a cure for an untreatable disease. She couldn't put herself in a position where she was the one responsible for her brother's destiny, feeling like it was her duty to save him. What if she couldn't do it? Would she live the rest of her life feeling guilty for letting him die? Lincoln would gladly spend two weeks of awful stress as long as her little sister wouldn't feel that way after his death He couldn't stand the idea of Lisa blaming herself for a situation that was beyond any of them.

"Lisa, listen. You don't have to do this. It's not your job to save me."

"Are you saying you want to die? Perhaps there's a tumor affecting the brain area that controls the survival instinct."

"No, of course I don't want to die!" He replied.

"Then I fail to see the problem. I believe we all win in this scenario."

"The problem is that you can't feel responsible for whatever happens to me, you understand?" He tried to explain. "If I die, it won't be because you couldn't find the cure or because you didn't diagnosed me in time. It'll be because I just had bad luck. Okay? You don't need to prove anything. If it makes you feel better, I'll let you take a blood sample from me, but… Look, even if you don't manage to cure me, you'll always be the most brilliant person I've ever met. Alright? You'll always be my little genius."

He smiled at her, trying to assure her that he'd always love her. It's not like he doubted she already knew that, but a reminder once in a while didn't hurt anyone. He stared at her, trying to tell what was going on in her head. Lisa then raised her arms, touching the one that Lincoln had resting on her shoulder. He smiled, believing his sister was going for a hug. Instead, he felt a painful pressure on his forearm.

"Ouch!" He said, looking at the tourniquet Lisa had applied on him with a belt. "Lisa! What the heck?!"

"We need to apply pressure to restrict the blood flow and let the veins dilate, facilitating the act of inserting the needle" she simply explained, taking him by the hand and dragging him to the stood.

Lisa took the syringe and a container the size of a juice jar.

"Alright, let's begin", she said with a mischievous smile. "After the blood draw you'll need to fill this recipient."

"What? With what?!"

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _I hope you liked it. And I know I said the same thing about this chapter, but it'll take me a while to update, because I want to write a One-Shot first. It's going to be about one of Lincoln's sisters getting a boyfriend, and all the fraternal jealousy that comes after that. It won't be nearly as sad as I try this story to be, but it'll have an emotional charge, I hope._

 _Next chapter will be a turning point for the story, I believe. Lincoln will finally realize something that'll make him start taking actions. When I first drafted this story I thought it would have 15/16 chapters. Now I'm starting to believe that it'll take a couple more. Maybe 20 chapters or so. But I don't know, we'll have to wait and see._

 _I have to go to my karate class, so I'll have to wait like five hours to see the new chapter. And then we'll have like 3 weeks of hiatus on the show. I don't know if I'll make it through._

 _So, what's Fanfiction opinion on Lord Savino? He's our God, right?_


	8. Lincoln's Blue Period - Part I

_Hello, people! I know many of you want to kill me for how long it took me to update. For those of you who didn't heard the news, in this hiatus I wrote a pretty long One Shot (26.000 words, that's basically half this fic) called "First love". It took me two weeks to write it, and one more week to translate it. And then it took me one week to write this chapter and translate it. And believe me, if I would've sticked to my original draft, this chapter would be nearly twice as long, and it would've required an additional week to write. So, since I didn't wanted to make you wait that long and a 16.000 words chapter is ridiculous, I divided it in two parts. This is the first part, and hopefully I'll post the second part next weekend._

 _I'd like to thank you all for making this story what it is. While I'm the one that's writing it, it's only because of you that the story means something. Reading your support and knowing you like it it's what motivates me to give my best and even stop studying for college for a while so I can write down a new idea before it fades away._

 _I never imagined this story would have an impact like this. Since I'm just a guy from Argentina translating his own story, I thought this would go pretty much unnoticed. But after seven chapters, I check the story and I find that it has 140 followers, 130 favorites, 221 reviews and 36´000 views. I mean, how cool is that for a translation full of mistakes? I know this story isn't the most popular, it isn't the most liked, and it's most definitely not the best. But your constant support makes me feel the happiest and luckiest guy in the world. So, once again, I'd like to personally thank all of you who read this story, and to mention the ones who share their thoughts about it (you probably don't even remember what you wrote by now...):_

 _ **Red the Pokemon Master, HtfLover** (if Savino contacts me to make a movie out of this, you'll get 20% of my paycheck), **littlealexartinez61910, SoI'llKillYou, 76** (if you like Ronnie Anne, this is your chapter… I hope), **Unknown Russian** (I like the concept of a sister like Luan, but I feel like the show hasn't showed us the best side of her), **NamelessName** (we'll have to wait and see), **Iron-Doughnut** (Thanks for both your positive criticism and the advice on 'medication'. Things like that are really tricky for me, ha), **Mew Shadowfang** (you mean because of the end? It was actually a reference to a movie, haha), **Shadowmaster91, MorenoX25** (As Darth Vader said, "I find your lack of faith disturbing"), **Zach the Red Raider, ExMarkSpot** (you sure about the urine? D: ), **Codymitchell1** (well, he should be! Hahaha), **Godzilla2915** (Thank you. I'm no theist myself, but I don't think you should mess with other people's beliefs, specially in a situation like this one. And Chris Savino is the creator of The Loud House. And he's my God, hahaha), **ElectricLoud, RedEyes** (sad story, bro D: ), **FullOfRegret** (haha, it was a pretty shitty drawing. I'm no artist, I just draw some parts of my stories as a hobby), **TrollCritic** (You're welcome, my friend. Thank you for your touching words), **BoukenDutch** (Thanks. And Lucy doesn't really knows for sure; she truly trusts her brother), **Grim-XIII, TheEquestrianidiot 2.0** (That's another great God), **Samtastic 3.0, Emperor of Performances** (The idea came after realizing Lincoln's the only thing holding the family together. And since I'm such a maniac, I decided to see how it would look like if he wasn't there), **TexasGunKing, LoudSin, Dead heart 9, DANGIT-Man, Thunderstrike16, The Wannabe WriterOriginal** (The Road is a great fucking movie), **thehardboiledhit** (Thank you, although I don't think it's the best, haha), **Omega Ultra** (Thank you, mate), **ImpossibleJedi4, Fattius Pattius** (That's because Foreman wasn't in the case with him), **Hope, Fan 117** (Dude, aren't all these thing enough for you? You want memory loss too? Damn, think about the family!), **applez, OMEGA09 , The kadabrao** (after this story I don't want Lincoln to ever suffer again, hahahaha), **Secret life of writing, Mr. Noname, MikeTheHuman113** (I appreciate your criticism. I'll work on some of the things you pointed out [the Dr House part it's already done, haha])_

 _If my math's correct, chapter 7 got over 40 reviews. That's like a wet dream for me._

* * *

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **Chapter 8:  
Lincoln's Blue Period  
**_ _ **Part I – Misunderstandings**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

Lisa's multiple tests had left Lincoln extremely tired. Luckily, none of them had been terribly painful, and they were mostly non-invasive. The worst part had been taking the blood samples, but even that wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Still, seeing so many blood in a recipient had left him quite nervous. As soon as she was done doing her initial examinations, Lisa hurriedly kicked Lincoln out of her room so she could get to work. He assumed he couldn't really help her, so he didn't complained and went back to his own room.

As soon a he sat on his bed he realized he was feeling really tired. His arms felt like they were made of lead, so heavy that he could barely lift them, and he thought that his joins could use some WD-40. Lisa had warned him that he might feel a little numb after the blood extraction, so maybe that was it. Or maybe it was the fact that he had had one of the worst days of his life.

Whatever it was, he just laid on his bed over his blankets, put his head on his pillow and closed his eyes. He breathed in and out a couple of times and he soon fell asleep, finally having some well deserved rest in a dreamless nap.

Even if it was just a nap, Lincoln slept through it like a bear in winter. He wouldn't fully remember it when he'd wake up a couple of hours later, but he was slightly aware that during his rest he had been visited by some of his sisters. He seemed to remember seeing Leni, that Lori had kicked Lola out of his room when the younger one tried to wake him up, and even at some point he'd opened his eyes only to find Lynn, kneeling on the floor next to his bed, looking at him with her eyes full of tears. He was so tired that the only thing he could do was just grab her hand before falling asleep once again.

He didn't woke up until a few hours later. Those little accidents that had interrupted his sleep were now strange memories that faded away with every second he was awake. The first thing he noticed was that he was alone in his room, which seemed odd, since he had the feeling that he'd been with someone else. The second thing he noticed was that someone had taken the time to delicately remove his shoes from him, change his jeans for the bottom part of his pajamas and tuck him in, under his blankets. He initially thought it might have been his mother, but after seeing his jeans on the floor and not tidily folded in a chair, he knew it had been one of his sisters.

A quick glance at the clock told him that it was a quarter past eight. He frowned, confused. They always had dinner at eight o'clock, why didn't they wake him up? He quickly dressed up and stepped out of his room. He went downstairs and got to the dining room, where his five older sisters and his parents were having dinner.

It was one thing to know that he was going to die, that his days were numbered. It was terrible. But seeing it reflected upon his sisters and parents faces was even worse. They all had their heads down, seemingly more worried about staring at the food rather than eating it. His parents seemed to be the only ones who had touched their plates. His sisters were all holding the forks in their hands, absently moving their food. He noticed that Lynn was practically stabbing his beef stew over and over again, leaving it in such small pieces that one could just drink it in a soup. It didn't went unnoticed by him the fact that Luan was wearing her mime attire, and that the black makeup on her eyes was all messed up, going down her cheeks painting a few tear tracks. In a house full of girls, where makeup was such a sacred thing, something like that could never go unnoticed. But no one seemed to care. They were all just staring at their dinner.

It was a devastating picture. His experience with the grown up table wasn't the best. He considered it extremely boring. But if there was something that he'd learned, was that they always had something to talk about. Perhaps it were mundane things like a math test, or an anecdote from their parents jobs, but the grown ups always had something they could talk about. Seeing them in such silence, with everyone focused in their own world, in their own thoughts, made him somehow feel even worse, if that was possible.

He knew he couldn't sneak to the kitchen, so he decided to step closer and wait for someone to notice him. He didn't really feel like just, appearing out of nowhere and saying hi. Luckily, his presence was acknowledged almost immediately. Leni was looking down at her food. She decided to drink a little to soothe her sore throat, and when she raised her glass she saw Lincoln on the corner of her eyes. She turned around, and for a single second Lincoln saw such a depressed face that could be photoshopped into Picasso's Guernica and it wouldn't seem to be out of place. If it wasn't for the fact that he felt a stab in his heart when he saw her like that, he would've thought that he had imagined it, because suddenly Leni's face was the same as always, radiating happiness.

"Hi, Lincoln! You're awake!" She said with a smile, while she took what seemed to be her first bite at her food.

Lori and Luna looked up and left their forks on the table. They tried to relax their faces, but they weren't even close to show themselves as happy as Leni was. Lynn wiped her eyes with her sleeve before slowly turning around. Her eyes started to nervously alternate between Lincoln and the floor. Luan stayed the same.

His parents did react. They immediately looked up to their son, and Rita got up from her chair and walked right next to him.

"Lincoln, honey" she said as she hugged him like she hadn't seen him in a month. "How are you? How do you feel?"

"I'm great, thanks" he said, while she put a hand on his forehead to make sure he didn't have a fever. "I fell asleep in my room."

"We didn't want to wake you", Mr Loud said. "You seemed really tired..."

"It's okay, don't worry" Lincoln told him, slowly slipping away from his mother's grip. "Well, I'll… I guess I'll just go to my table."

He turned around, prepared to head down to the kitchen were his younger sisters were already eating, but his mother put a hand on his shoulder.

"Honey, your father and I have been talking. You can eat at the grown up table anytime you want" she said, as her lips started to tremble. "And if you don't like the food we have here you can take food from the kiddie table."

"You can have dessert, too" his dad told him.

"And if you want seconds, just tell me and I'll cook you whatever you want."

Lincoln felt incredibly guilty.

Everyone in the grown up table was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. They were surely expecting him to say that he'd love to run away from the chaos of the kiddies table, hang out with them while still being able to enjoy chicken nuggets, ice cream and even have seconds. And that was a most tempting offer. Never, in his eleven years of life, he went to sleep being hungry. They were never lacking food, but sometimes he did feel like he could use some seconds, just so he could go to sleep feeling completely full. They were now offering him all the treats he'd always wished to have.

But they weren't giving him these treats as a reward for his good behavior, or for acing his tests. They were consenting him because he was sick. They were treating him differently because he would be gone too soon. His older sisters seemed okay with the new arrangement. Lynn was even starting to clear the table in the spot next to her, making room for him.

He understood that they would want to have as much time with him as possible, and that they'd like to consent him. He truly understood them, but he wasn't comfortable with the idea of accepting a differential treatment because of his condition. He didn't want to take advantage of his disease so he could have some treats. What kind of monster would do that? Besides, no matter how tempting the idea of having dessert in the grown up table was, the last thing he wanted was to make his little sisters suspicious.

"Thank you, really, but I think I'm gonna stay in the kiddie table" he softly said.

His parents sighed and slowly nodded, as if they knew he was going to say that. His sisters looked down at their plates again, and Lynn dropped her knife, not worried about the sound it made as it hit her plate. She clenched her fist and frowned, looking straight at her food.

"I mean, it's not that I don't want to be with you guys" Lincoln rushed to say. "But… You know… I don't want the girls to… Well..."

"It's okay, sweetie" his mother assured him.

"You can eat wherever you want, son. If you change your mind, or if someday you want to eat here, the doors are open."

"Thanks, dad. I guess I'll go get some dinner."

Giving the table one last smile, only returned by Leni, he went to the kitchen.

In the kiddie table, oh surprise, his younger sisters were fighting. Lucy seemed to be arguing with Lisa about how the vegetables were sentient. The little genius was too busy reading some annotations on her notebook while absently eating her broccoli, and that was only making the goth girl angrier. Lola and Lana were fighting over the mayonnaise, both of them arguing that they had touched it first. They were basically in a tug-of-war, a pretty violent discussion that seemed to be about to escalate into a fist fight. The only one having a peaceful dinner was Lily, who was pretending that her spoon was a little plane all by herself.

Lincoln didn't have the energy to intervene in any fight. He just sat on his chair, but his presence didn't went unseen.

"Lincoln! Tell Lana to let me have my mayonnaise!" Lola hurried to say.

"No, tell her to drop it! I grabbed it first!"

"You wish!"

"Let it go!"

Rolling his eyes, Lincoln took the mayonnaise from them.

"Hey!" They both complained at the same time.

After getting some on his plate, he took his sister's and put the same amount on both plates. In less than ten seconds, he gave them back their dinner, all ready so they could go on with the night. That was usually the part when the twins would settle down and said ' _Thanks, Lincoln!_ ' at the same time with a smile. But that wasn't quite the case. They seemed oblivious about their food being handed back to them. They kept glaring at each other.

"Um, guys? You both have your mayonnaise. You can now stop hating each other" Lincoln confusedly said.

"Ugh! You always do the same!" Lola complained, ignoring her brother. "You always want to be right about everything!"

"That's not true! You're the one who always wants to do everything your way!"

"Gosh, you always ruin EVERYTHING!"

"Okay, that's enough" intervened Lincoln, separating the twin's chairs and standing in the middle. "This is clearly not a mayonnaise situation. What's going on?"

The two girls crossed their arms and turned around, facing away from each other. None of them wanted to answer him. Lincoln was about to say something, when through the door that led to the dining room he heard a thud against the table and the sound of a chair being violently moved.

"Lynn? Where do you think you're going?" He heard his father say.

"My room" rudely said Lynn, completely forgetting her manners.

"Dinner's not over yet" her mother said.

"I don't care. I'm not hungry."

"Come on, sis" started to say Luna.

"I said I'm not hungry!" She snapped back.

The house remained silent after that, with the only sound being Lynn's steps as she climbed up the stairs.

"That's what's going on" Lucy said, answering Lincoln's question.

"They've been acting all weird" Lola said, looking at Lincoln.

"Yeah" Agreed Lana. "Today Lynn was practicing with her punching bag in the backyard, and when I asked her if she wanted to make some mud piles with me she first ignored me and then yelled me to leave her alone."

"And when I went to your room to see if you wanted to be in a tea party, Lori kicked me out and treated me like I was doing something bad."

"Luna locked herself in the garage all day long, playing her guitar" Lucy added. "I wanted to ask her for a rhyme for a poem, but she didn't let me in."

"Yeah, and Luan's sad mime routine is way over the top" said Lola.

"I like it" Lucy said. "I've always found mimes fascinating creatures. Little souls trapped in a body incapable of communicate, with their imagination as their only tool for survival."

"You _do_ know it's a simple act, don't you?" Lisa asked her.

"Why are they all acting so weird?"

After Lana's question, they all looked at Lincoln. He was hoping that they couldn't see the sweat coming down his forehead. He needed an explanation, stat, and it better be a very good one. It was clear for him that Lucy at least suspected something. He still remembered when she had asked him if it was true that he was okay. Being forced to lie to her still hurt him, specially after promising her that he was going to be okay. But he couldn't tell them the truth yet. He wasn't ready.

"Lincoln, do you know why are they acting like this?" Lucy asked him, confirming his worst fears; she was still suspicious.

"I, um, well..." he started, adjusting the neck of his polo shirt, which seemed to be squeezing him.

"It's my fault" Lisa said, continuing to eat normally.

"Your fault? What did you do?" Lola asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Recently I communicated them that I could no longer be their tutor, since I've decided to dedicate my full time in a new scientific investigation that could change the history of mankind. And our family" she added, looking up to glance at Lincoln for a second. "We are currently approaching the end of a new school term, and they are aware that the probabilities of them getting an F in their exams has potentially increased, now that they're on their own. The prospect of having to take summer classes has them both nervous and worried."

"Wait a minute!" Lola exclaimed. "You won't help me with my homework?!"

"No."

"You won't help me with math?" Lucy calmly asked.

"No."

"Sigh..."

While the three girls started to argue, thinking about how would they manage to do all their homework without Lisa's help, the little genius looked up at her brother. Lincoln was also glancing at her. He didn't know if he should be grateful for she bailing him out, or if he should feel guilty for exposing Lisa to the rest of his sisters. She simply nodded and got back to her notes. She was really good at ignoring her sisters. Being left alone, Lincoln started to eat his dinner, immersed in the chaos.

He started to think about how much he would miss those dinners.

* * *

When his alarm clock woke him up at six thirty in the morning, Lincoln lazily turned it off and just sat on his bed. Looking at the small fluorescent letters in the screen he saw it was Wednesday. School day. Still a little sleepy, he started to dress up. He had to hurry if he wanted to make it to the bathroom before his sisters. However, as he was combing his hair, he noticed his math books were on his desk. He stopped for a second, wondering why they were there. He had math on Tuesdays. They should be on his backpack.

And then his brain finally woke up, and he remembered it all. He didn't go to school the day before, and neither on Monday, because he had only come back to his house the day before. He had been in the hospital. And he had talked it over with his parents, and they've decided that he wouldn't be attending school anymore, since he didn't feel like he could do it.

Because he was going to die.

He let himself fall down over his bed, sitting against the wall. He was going to die. It was true, it hadn't been a nightmare. He stared at the reflection in the mirror, at his very own face, and he realized he was really expressive. The image before him was the perfect canon, the most accurate representation of a resignated face. It was the face of a man who had his hope taken from him. But there were also some things the mirror couldn't show. The crystal couldn't reflect the horrible sensation he was feeling in his heart, like his most important muscle was completely numb, experiencing a tickling sensation. That really scared him. Even though he knew it was something purely emotional –the tickling had started only when he remembered he was going to die–, a part of him was scared that it might be a symptom of his heart starting to fail. He started to be agitated. He didn't want to die.

He opened his room door and went out to the hall, feeling the urgent need to see at least one of his sisters. It was still too early, but he could hear the movement inside his sister's rooms, and he imagined they would be changing and getting ready. Without even thinking about it, he went straight to Lucy and Lynn's room. He didn't wanted to wake Lily up, and it was still too early to end up in the middle of a fight between Lola and Lana. He opened the door of his closer sisters, in terms of age, and poke his head inside their room.

"Hey guys, are you awake?" He asked.

He heard a small scream and right away a pillow flew right into his face. Being just a pillow, it didn't hurt him, but the surprise and the fact that he saw an object flying to his face made him lose balance, and he fell to the floor.

"OH MY GOD! LINCOLN!"

Even before he could assimilate the soft impact, Lynn was already kneeling besides him, grabbing the pillow and throwing it away from him. She looked at him with worry in her eyes, like she had accidentally shot him in the shoulder with a gun. She looked completely terrified. Just a second later, he heard what seemed like a stampede coming down the hall. He looked up and saw Luan, Luna, Leni and Lori, all with their hairs being half made and their mascaras all messed up. Lynn's scream seemed to have interrupted them in whatever they were doing, and they went running to see him.

"What happened?!"

"Is he okay?!"

"CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

"I'm literally already on it!"

Lincoln was used to the fact that his sisters loved him a lot and would be overprotective with him. He would never openly admit it, but he truly loved that they care for him that much. It made him feel loved. But seeing them like that, calling an ambulance just because they found him on the floor, only served to make him feel even more miserable.

"Lincoln, bro, are you okay?!" Luna asked him, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing it with all her strength. She looked like she was about to cry.

By then, the twins and Lisa had gathered around to see what was all the commotion about.

"I'm alright, don't worry. You don't need to call an ambulance" he assured them, standing up.

His older sisters sighed, relieved. Lori cancelled the call, and they all seemed to relax a bit.

"But, why were you on the floor?" Asked Leni, clearly confused.

"Lynn threw a pillow at him" said Lucy, seemingly materializing out of thin air behind all their sisters.

The only ones scared were Lincoln and the twins. The rest of the girls shot daggers with their eyes at Lynn. Lincoln also turned to see his sister, and he was only then aware of the fact that she was just wearing her shorts and her training bra. She had her t-shirt in her hands. Now that the dust had settled, she started to feel a little embarrassed, and quickly crossed her arms over her chest, just as her face started to blush.

"I-I was changing, and Lincoln just appeared out of nowhere, I got scared, and then..."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Lori exclaimed, glaring at Lynn with her arms akimbo. "Are you literally saying that you got nervous because Lincoln walked into you dressing up? Come on, it's not Hugh, it's just Lincoln!"

"Dude, we're eleven kids bottled up inside a small house, there's no such thing as privacy" Luna told her, also mad, but trying to palliate Lori's tone. "Lincoln has walked in my room at the wrong moments a lot of times. And we've all seen more than his undies. Those are awkward moments, but we're family! You can't get like that just because your brother saw you with your bra."

"Besides, Lincoln's not at _that age_ yet!" Added Leni, covering Lincoln's eyes so he couldn't listen to her.

By then, Lincoln was already completely blushed. On the good side, his mind was now fully distracted from his depressive thoughts and his fatal destiny.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Said Lynn, quickly putting on her t-shirt. "Of course I didn't mean it, I just got..."

"I don't care, Lynn" Lori interrupted her. "You _know_ how things are right now. You _can't_ throw stuff at Lincoln!"

"Did you already forget what happened the last time you hit him?" Snapped a very angry Luan, speaking for the first time since Lincoln had returned home.

The rest of the siblings gasped and turned to look at Luan, not believing what they had heard. Some put their hands over their mouths, while others, like Lincoln, simply stayed there, flabbergasted. Lynn, meanwhile, took a step back like the words had hit her. Certainly, she looked as if she was in physical pain after hearing that. She had her mouth half opened, and a hand on her chest. Her gaze went from Luan to Lincoln. He looked at her too. He wanted to say something, he wanted to tell her that it wasn't true, that she shouldn't listen to Luan's words. He wanted to say a lot of things, but he didn't find the right words. And maybe it was that doubt what Lynn saw in his eyes. Maybe that's what made her shed tears.

Taking advantage of the fact that they were right next to the door, she grabbed her backpack and her bike helmet. Her siblings tried to stop her, but she passed through them like an arrow, going downstairs at full speed. Lori went to try and get her, but she didn't even got close to her before Lynn stepped out of the house, grabbed her bike and started to pedal away.

"Dude, what the heck?!" Said Luna, not-so-gently shoving Luan's shoulder. "How could you say that?! What's the matter with you?!"

Luan, who was fully dressed as a mime except for her make up, made a gesture of zipping her mouth shut, and walked away to her room. Luna started yelling at her, and followed her to their bedroom. Leni went along, trying to calm them. Lincoln was left with his younger sisters, feeling miserable.

"All of this because of a pillow?" Lola asked out loud.

"Man, high school exams must be really tough" said Lana.

While his younger sisters went back a little confused to their rooms, Lincoln decided to go downstairs. When he reached the living room, he saw Lori sitting in the couch, with her head looking at the ceiling and a hand over her face. Clearly, this wasn't the morning she had been expecting. And Lincoln couldn't avoid thinking that it was maybe his fault.

"Lori?" He called her, slowly getting closer.

His sister sighed and sat more comfortably.

"Lori, I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I didn't..."

"Lincoln, stop. It wasn't your fault. It's not Lynn's neither. It's our fault. We're all too susceptible. I should've kept it cool, handed the situation better. But as soon as I heard your name I just… I just panicked."

Lincoln sat besides her and hugged her. At first, she was taken by surprise; it wasn't common for him to take the initiative in a demonstration of caring like that. But she immediately embraced him.

"I just… I needed to be with someone" Lincoln told her.

"Why? What happened, Lincoln?"

He tighten his grip.

"Nothing" he lied, not wanting to worry his sister. "I just wanted to be with you guys."

Lori broke away from the embrace just long enough to stare at her little brother's eyes.

"Listen, twerp", she affectionately told him. "Remember rule number one of the house?"

" _Thou shalt not enter Lori's room, literally never_ " he recited.

"Well, that rule no longer applies to you, you hear me? If you need help with something, just tell me. If you want to come in and ask me to take you to the mall, you can do it. If you had a nightmare in the middle of the night and you want me to sleep with you, go ahead and tell me. And… And if you only want a hug, you can wake me up and I'll give you as many as you want."

By the time she finished, Lori was about to cry. Lincoln had seen too many tears in such a short morning. He put his hand on Lori's left cheek and very carefully wiped away a tear from her eye with his thumb. She smiled at the gesture and put her hand over his, closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth of his touch.

"Kids, is everything okay?"

Lincoln turned around, totally confused after finding his mom standing in the kitchen, wearing her apron.

"Mom? Shouldn't you be heading to work?" He asked.

"I spoke with doctor Feinstein. I'm taking my vacations now, so you don't have to stay home alone in the mornings while your sisters go to school."

"Oh, I see. Thank you, mom."

"Don't mention it. You can go back to sleep, if you want. I can wake you up by ten."

"No, it's fine" he said, standing up. "I'll go to my room. I need to get ready for something."

"What are you up to?" Asked Lori

Lincoln bit his lower lip and looked down. Just by thinking about what he intended to do in the afternoon, he felt exhausted.

* * *

After the bell indicated the end of classes, the fifth grade students picked up their stuff and abandoned their classrooms. They went straight to their lockers, grabbed their books and they left the building with their friends, chatting and laughing. That's what most students did, but not Ronnie Anne. She was walking alone, with her skateboard in her hand and her head down.

She wasn't your average eleven years old girl. She loved video games, skateboarding and wearing baggy clothes. She always said what was on her mind, she was a pretty straightforward girl and she didn't backed off from anything. Unfortunately, her tomboy reputation didn't help her to make friends. In her old school she had this small group of friends she could hang out with, but now she had no one to talk to. It's not like they hated her; everyone seemed to be polite with her. But she didn't belong to any group. She had no one to talk to after school, and no one to laugh with during recess. There was only one person she could hang out with, whom she could be herself and have some incredible moments. Even if they couldn't be seen together by the rest of the school, or even by their families, they would often spend a night texting, and they hanged out once a week, or so.

But right now, that person wasn't…

"Hey, Ronnie Anne."

She stopped dead on her tracks, and looked up. Standing just a few feet away from her was none other than Lincoln Loud. Not only that, but he was also wearing a different attire than his usual. He had an orange shirt with its long sleeves folded up, he was wearing his khakis, and he also had some nice brown shoes. His hair was sparkling and perfectly combed, while still managing to keep his cowlick. Ronnie Anne couldn't keep a smile from appearing on her face as she remembered the last time she saw him dressed up like that. It was the same clothes he wore in that double date they had in _Jean Juan's_. He looked just like when they shared their first kiss. It didn't matter that he had stolen a kiss from her before that one, because it was in _Jean Juan's_ when she first kissed him back. For all it had meant for her, as far as she was concerned, that was her first kiss. And so far, it was her last kiss, too.

"Hey, Lincoln" she greeted him. She was so happy, seeing him after three days without him in school, that she wanted to have a smile from ear to ear. But she had to keep it cool.

"So, how's it going?" He asked, nervously swinging on his feet.

"Not bad. You know, like always. How about you?"

"I'm good."

They didn't say anything else for a few seconds, looking anywhere else but each other. She hated awkward silences.

"Nice khakis" she chuckled, causing Lincoln's cheek to gain a new shade of pink.

"Thanks."

"But what gives with that hair?"

"Well, remember how my sisters go nuts when they know I'm going off to see you? Today I found they got that from my mom."

"You came here to see me?" She asked, blushing too.

He was about to say something, but they were interrupted by a shout.

" _Hey, Lincoln!_ "

After turning around, they saw that Liam, Rusty, Zach and a few more guys from their class were watching them from about twenty meters.

"You skip school all week and you don't even come to say hi to your friends?" Said Liam, from the distance.

"Ooooh! He's busy talking with _Ronnie Anne_!" Rusty said, and they all started to laugh.

Ronnie Anne sighed. She dropped her skate on the ground and prepared her fist.

"I promise this won't hurt you too much" she whispered, before raising her voice so they could hear her. "Very funny, lame-o, but I won't be falling for the same trick twice!"

She raised her fist as if to hit him, but Lincoln took one step forward and gently grabbed her by the wrist. Surprise by that, she put her hand down.

"Lincoln, what are you doing?" She asked, looking flustered to the boys who were starting to sing a silly love song. "Don't you see they'll be teasing you if they see you with me?"

Lincoln smiled at her.

"I don't care if you don't care."

Ronnie Anne stared at him with her mouth open. Lincoln always hated when his friends teased him because of her. That was why they would only hang out at the arcades or in the cinema, hidden from those guys. That's something she always found weird about Lincoln. He wasn't ashamed of people making fun of him for his comics, and he had enough self esteem to go to a convention with a costume that had his underwear on the outside. But only after the slightest teasing about him and Ronnie Anne being an item, he would blush and get on the defensive.

It was something new to see him so calm about it. So decided. And she liked him being like that. She also liked the fact that he was still holding her hand.

"I'm okay with it, I can kick their butts any day of the week. But are you sure you're okay with it? I can punch you now and talk with you later."

"As tempting as a blow to the face is, my doctor told me to avoid things like that."

Her smile quickly faded away, and she looked down. Of course, she didn't forget that Lincoln had been in the hospital.

"Hey, don't worry" he told her, sensing her sadness; he then blushed again and cleared his throat. "Look, I'd like to… I mean, if you want… I thought you might be interested in… Well, of course, if you don't have any plans..."

She looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"Just say it, lame-o" she encouraged him, smiling.

Lincoln stammered for a few more seconds before he sighed. He then calmly looked her in the eye, but she couldn't take him serious with how red his face was.

"Do you want to go and have some lunch with me?"

She knew that now Lincoln couldn't take her seriously neither, not if her face was as blushed as she thought it was.

"Lunch? Like, right now?"

Lincoln looked to the side, trying to ignore the teasing he was still receiving from his classmates.

"I, uh… Well, if you don't want to, maybe we could..."

"Calm down, lame-o" she told him, while she was trying to calm herself down. "I'd like to have lunch with you, but I didn't bring any money. We can stop by my house so I can take some cash from Bobby."

"Oh, don't worry, my mom gave me enough money, I can pay for both our meals" he quickly assured her. Ronnie Anne couldn't help but chuckle at those words.

"You know, if I didn't know you any better, I'd say you're asking me out."

She started to laugh, waiting for Lincoln to join her. But he was too busy looking elsewhere, trying to hide how blushed he was.

" _What's the matter, Romeo? You forgot your flowers?_ " His classmates shouted.

Ronnie Anne looked at Lincoln's friends, that were now laughing uncontrollably. Taking advantage of their distraction, she grabbed an empty plastic bottle from the trash can and throw it with all her strength. Poor Liam didn't even see it coming until it hit him right on the forehead. They all stopped laughing.

"Check this out! This one's full!" Ronnie Anne loudly said, grabbing another bottle. "Ten bucks says I can knock down the one with the orange hair!"

Since most of the guys had orange hair, they all ran away, leaving Lincoln and Ronnie Anne alone.

"I'm pretty sure there were less violent ways of getting rid of them" Lincoln commented with a head shake, but smiling a little bit.

"And that's why people keep messing with you."

"Are you telling me I should throw a bottle to your head?" He playfully asked.

"You can try it" she answered, smiling back. "And then I would pulverize you. So, any ideas about where to go, lame-o? Just tell me you're not gonna take me to _Jean Juan's_."

"What? No! I was actually thinking about going to the _Burpin' Burger_ " Lincoln excitedly said.

"Cool! We can go to the one in the mall, so then we can hit the arcades."

"Exactly. Shall we go?"

"Lead the way, lame-o" she said, softly bumping him in the shoulder.

* * *

"...and then the teacher said ' _But if the dog ate your homework, who did you bury the day of your math quiz?' "_ Ronnie Anne said, finishing the anecdote.

Lincoln, who was drinking his soda, spitted it all out in laughter, with some of it coming out of his nose. Ronnie Anne also bursted out laughing after seeing him like that. People passing by tried to ignore the two kids that, sitting on the edge of the fountain with their _Burpin' Burger_ bags, were hysterically laughing. Lincoln was wiping his face with a napkin, and even though his nostrils were burning for the liquid that had gone through them, he couldn't stop laughing.

"Oh, man, she caught him good" he managed to say, after catching his breath. "Dang it, why the best things happens in school only when I'm not there?"

"That was actually the only funny thing that happened these last few days. The rest was pretty much the usual stuff" she said, while chewing her double cheese burger.

"Even so, I kinda missed being with y… I mean, hanging out with the guys."

She totally realized what he almost said, but she decided to cut him some slack. She took some of the bread from her burger and smashed it in smaller pieces. Then she threw it to the fountain, watching the little fishes gathering around to eat the crumbs.

"I didn't know you liked fishes" Lincoln said, noticing his friend's smile.

"I love animals" she admitted; she looked up and found him smiling. "What? Don't you believe me?"

"No, no, I do believe you. It's just that I like this, getting to know more about your caring side."

Ronnie Anne grabbed as many fries as she could and stuffed them in her mouth, so she could have an excuse to don't say anything.

Since when was Lincoln so confident? They would hang out pretty often, and they always had fun, shared some good laughs and enjoyed their moments together, but he never behaved like that. Inviting her to _Burpin' Burger_ , paying for her order and now telling her she had a 'caring side'. There was something different about him, but she didn't know what it was. He seemed to be a little distracted, like his mind was divided between the conversation he had with her and _something_ else. He looked a little nervous, with his shoulders abnormally tense. His eyes always seemed to be a little tired –and living with ten sisters, it would be a miracle if he wasn't–, but now it looked like he hadn't had a good night sleep in weeks.

And somehow, in some other aspects he looked more relaxed than usual. She wasn't sure about what was it that gave her that impression, but she felt like Lincoln wasn't worried anymore about all the small things that would usually bother him. Like the fact that his friends were teasing him for being with her, or that he had suggested to sit next to the fountain and not in a bench. The people passing by frowned at them, like it was something gross to eat there. But Lincoln, a boy who was usually very worried about things like that, seemed totally oblivious. It was like he didn't care for what other people would think about him anymore.

Something was wrong, and Ronnie Anne was determined to find out what it was.

"Look, I'm having a blast here with you. But I can see something's bothering you. Are you going to tell me or do we have to keep pretending it's nothing?"

Lincoln slowly and silently nodded, more to himself than for her. He had his eyes staring at the floor, thoughtfully.

"Lincoln?" She said, seeing how weak he suddenly seemed to be. "Are you okay?"

He looked up, right at her. They were sitting next to each other, only separated by the _Burpin' Burger_ bags. Ronnie Anne stared at his eyes. Even though they were in a crowded place, the moment their eyes met they were transported to another dimension, a place where there were only them. A place where the background music, the buzz of the people and the announcements on the speakers could not be heard over the sound of their hearts beating fast.

He took a deep breath and then gently put his hand over Ronnie Anne's. She didn't say anything, just kept staring at his eyes. She didn't flinched when he leaned an inch closer. She just held her breath, waiting. And that's all he needed to make up his mind.

Leaning in, in a somewhat quick and clumsy way, Lincoln closed the distance that separated them, and he put his lips over hers. They both closed their eyes shut, fearing that if they opened them the magic of the moment would disappear. He had barely tilted his head, so their noses were slightly touching. None of them was breathing, and they only had their lips firmly pressed against the other's. Both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne knew, in theory, how to kiss like a grown up. They knew their lips should be moving a lot more, and that they would normally open their mouths to give room for the other person's tongue. But they had seen their siblings kissing before, and they thought it was something completely gross. They were eleven. For them, just pressing their lips together was an incredible adventure.

When they ran out of air, they finally broke the kiss. They stared at each other for a second, and they were soon utterly embarrassed. They both sat staring at the front, with their arms on their sides. They were as still as statues.

"I, um, I'm sorry" Lincoln said, not daring to look at her. "For not asking you."

"You never asked me before" she remembered him.

Lincoln let out a little chuckle, seeing that she was right.

"But this was different" she continued, relaxing her shoulders a little. "The first time you kissed me it was because your sisters told you that I liked you and you wanted to keep me from kicking your butt."

"Well, in retrospective..."

"And that time at _Jean Juan's_ " she interrupted him, "you kissed me in front of everybody because you had been really rude to me and you didn't want your sister Lori to kill you."

"What? No, at that moment I truly felt that..."

"You always had a reason to kiss me" she said, not letting him finish once again. "But not this time. Why did you kissed me?"

Lincoln finally turned his head to see her.

"I don't know" he honestly said, trying to think about what had made him take the initiative to kiss her. "I just… felt like I wanted to. Are you angry with me?"

"No… Not really" she admitted.

Lincoln managed to relax a little after hearing that at least he hadn't make her angry. Ronnie Anne, meanwhile, was getting more flustered by the second. In a way… In _some_ ways, she really liked this new Lincoln, one so secure and sure about himself, that would take the initiative. It was so different than the rather shy and even slow guy she knew he could be at some times. But she just couldn't help but feel like there was something wrong with the whole situation.

"So… I heard you were in the hospital" she said.

Lincoln's smile disappeared.

"Yeah, I know."

"You know? Your sister Lucy told you?" She worriedly asked, fearing that the little girl might have said something she shouldn't have.

"Lucy?" He asked, confused. "No. Lori told Bobby, and he must've told you about it."

Ronnie Anne gave herself a facepalm.

"Of course. Bobby."

"You spoke with Lucy?"

"Well… Yeah, on Monday, at school. I wanted to know what had happened to you, and she told me you were still in the hospital. She told me you were fine."

"Oh. I see..."

She considered telling him that she had stopped a guy from bullying his little sister, but in the end she didn't think it was necessary to do so. She was sure that that bully wouldn't bother Lucy again, so there was no reason to worry Lincoln about nothing. Certainly, she didn't wanted to talk about how dead worried she had been about him. She regretted to have mentioned the meeting.

"You know, she thought I hated you, because of the punch I gave you when you kissed me in front of your house" she remembered.

Lincoln smiled.

"She was probably messing with you. She gets happy everytime she finds out we're meeting. Remember that time I ducked you so you wouldn't invite me to the Sadie Hawkings dance? She got me a date so I wouldn't feel bummed out."

"Really?" Ronnie Anne asked, confused. "But she was talking like she really thought I was like some kind of bully."

"I'm not pretending to understand Lucy's motives; I don't know why she'd do that. Maybe she wanted to see your reaction, I don't know. But she's fully aware of our relationship."

That word echoed inside Ronnie Anne's mind, and she felt her heart beating faster after hearing it.

Relationship. It could mean a bunch of stuff. There were friendly relationships, family relationships, even work relationships. But in that context, applied to the both of them, the word had another meaning, a new dimension. She didn't know how to define it, though. They weren't just friends. That was clear. Their relationship was beyond a normal friendship, it was something deeper. She didn't know what it was, but she loved it. They were comfortable enough with each other to be their real selves, to talk about their likes and their hobbies, knowing they wouldn't be judged. They could hang out in the arcades and play for hours, or they could go to the park, walking by the old bridge that went across the small stream, talking about ghosts, their favorite bands, what they wanted to be when they were older, the movie they had seen last night, or whatever they wanted to talk about. His messages were the only ones she always waited to read in the nights, and just by seeing a notification from "Lame-o" she would be happy. They were clearly not just friends. But what were they?

They weren't a couple because none of them had officially asked the other one about it. If Lincoln asked her to be his girlfriend, she knew she'd say yes. But that's not what she wanted. They were only eleven years old, they weren't ready to take the things to the next step. She knew how a relationship could change people; at least, she knew how it had changed Bobby. Being in a relationship brings along a lot of restrictions that would tie them up. They'd have to answer to every single text they send to each other. They'd have to be romantic. They'd have to meet as much as possible. In school, they wouldn't be able to hang out with their friends, they'd have to be with each other so everyone knew they were an item. If they were in a relationship, Lincoln could no longer talk with other girls, and she couldn't talk with other boys anymore, because they might get jealous, or people would start spreading gossips. And gossips could destroy a couple.

She didn't want any of that. She didn't wanted to lose everything that made his relationship with Lincoln special. Why changing something that so far was working out so great? Something that just felt right? If they were both happy, why not stay the way they were?

They were kids. They could be together when they were older.

"Ronnie Anne?"

She got out of her of her trance when he called her. She looked at him and noticed that he appeared to be really nervous.

"Look… I've got something to tell you. Something important" he said, looking at her with a mixture of seriousness and sadness.

 _'Alright, Ronnie, don't panic'_ , she told herself in her mind. ' _It's Lincoln, he won't be asking you to be his girlfriend just like that. There's nothing to be afraid of.'_

"I… I like you. I really do. That's why I don't want to keep hiding this from you. I need to tell you."

 _'Okay, you can panic now. He's gonna tell you he loves you.'_

"It's something pretty recent, pretty much no one knows this. Only my older sisters and Clyde."

' _It makes sense, he must've asked his sisters for help, and Clyde's his best friend._ '

"Bobby also knows about this, but don't be mad with him, I asked him to not tell you anything because I wanted to tell you this personally."

' _Bobby? Why would Lincoln talk about that with Bobby?_ '

Lincoln grabbed Ronnie Anne's hands and took a deep breath, preparing himself to say whatever he wanted to take out of his chest. Ronnie Anne was almost dying from her nerves. She wasn't ready for it, for Lincoln to declare his love for her. She didn't want to ruin their relationship forever. Because if he told her that he loved her, there would be only two options: to say that she didn't feel the same, which would be a lie and would ruin their relationship, or to say that she loved him too, be his girlfriend and then lose the magic of their no strings attached relationship. She wasn't ready for neither option. But Lincoln was a smart and understanding guy, he would always listen to her. Maybe if she explained to him what she felt about him and their special relationship, he would understand. Maybe that was her chance of a third option.

That's why, when Lincoln started to speak, she spoke over him.

"Ronnie Anne, I only got two weeks le..."

"Let tell you something first!"

Lincoln opened his eyes astonished.

"I, um, yeah, sure" he said, not knowing how to react.

She gently squeezed his hand, and looked at him with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"Look, I like you too, okay?" She admitted, profoundly blushing. "Like, _really like_ you."

It was the first time in his life that she was admitting her feelings so openly, and she felt really flustered, even more than she was willing to admit. Lincoln, meanwhile, was blushing too.

"I-I'm glad to hear that, b-but that's not what I..."

"Listen, I get you. I know what you're going to say, and I… I feel the same way..."

"Ronnie Anne, I don't think we're on the same page..."

"...but I really like this thing we have right now, and I don't want it to change, to lose its magic. I don't want you to feel bad, but I don't think I'm ready to be your girlfriend."

"Wow, wow, wow, stop right there!" Lincoln said, his face as red as a tomato, gesticulating with her hands to stop Ronnie Anne. "I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend!"

Lincoln's voice was full of sadness and impotence, but Ronnie Anne misread it. She was convinced that he was about to tell her how much he loved her, and she would have to painfully explain to him that she would rather stay the way they were. But hearing him say so eloquently that he wasn't going to ask her that, she suddenly felt sad.

"You're not?" She asked, feeling a cold hand gripping her heart.

"N-No, no, it wasn't that" he nervously said. "I mean, it's not that I don't want you to be my girlfriend! I'd like that. But… But I can't. I can't ask you to be my girlfriend. Not now, after..."

"After what?" She asked, feeling worse with every word he said. What did he mean he couldn't ask her? What was he talking about? What was going on?

Lincoln opened his mouth to answer her, but a voice distracted them.

" _Lincoln!_ "

They both looked in the direction the voice had come. Dodging the people carrying the mall bags, a girl their age was running right at them. She was wearing a navy blue blouse and skirt, and her curly auburn hair was being held in place by an orange hairband. She approached them until she was just a few meters away from the fountain, but she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Ronnie Anne. They both instantly recognize her, and they couldn't hide the surprise in their voices when they pronounced her name.

"Cristina?"

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 _ **To be continued…**_

 _Usually I'm not the kind of guy who goes by cliffhangers. But every once in a while, they come in handy._

 _Next chapter, part 2 of "Lincoln's Blue Period" (and that's a reference to Picasso, not to his hormonal issues), will be the inflection point I had promised you. It's amazing how the story can differ so much from my initial drafts and storyboards in terms of length. Next chapter was actually supposed to be chapter 7, but scenes I imagined would be pretty short (like the McBrides scene, the scene with Bobby and now this date with Ronnie Anne) ends up needing more development to transmit what I want them to._

 _But that might be a problem. What do you think about the pacing so far? I feel like it may be a little slow, but I also think that I'm giving each scene some emotional weight, or building up something bigger that will be important for later. And that kind of makes up for the slow pace. Also, in a normal story days go by pretty quick, because you can't just describe EVERYTHING that happens to a character in a single day. But this story is different, because these are Lincoln's last two/three weeks. So I can't rush the days. Let me know what you think about it._

 _Oh, yeah, and finally, in my OS I said I was going to write a Halloween OS. But seeing that I only have one week left, and that college is not giving me much free time, I've decided to focus on Requiem until it's finished. That horror story will have to wait. Which is a shame, because I had this spooky, psychopath, childhood-killer idea._

 _Again, let me know how I can improve. Besides my shitty English grammar, of course. Maybe in summer I can get into Duolingo or something like that to learn the grammar rules._

 _Anyway, see you on my next chapter!_


	9. Lincoln's Blue Period - Part II

_Alright, one week later, we have Part II. This is one of the chapters I wanted to write the most since I first started to think about the fic. This is literally the first chapter I imagined in my mind, the starting point of the premise of the entire fic. I hope you like it._

 _As always, my eternal gratitude for: **littlealexmartinez61910** (if Ronnie Anne was really Lincoln's official girlfriend, how come Luna, Luan, Lucy and Lynn tried to hook up Lincoln with a girl for the dance? I think it's not official, they're just friends who happen to like each other a LOT, but that's just my opinion), **Thunderstrike16, venomsdragon14, Guest** (how could you forget Lincoln's condition? Haha, that's like LITERALLY the fanfic!), **Unkown Russian, Omega Ultra, LoudSin, Boris Yeltsin, BoukenDutch** (you're right about the class, they'll all know the truth soon enough), **ImpossibleJedi4, endeavor-NeverEnding, Jazz, Slop the 3** **rd** **, ExMarkSpot, Mew Shadowfang, Zach the Red Raider, Boshwa, ElectricLoud** (why thank you, I'm really happy that you find both my english and my prose that good), **Emperor of Performances** (thank you! And yes, lately I've been rushing the translation at the end, I'll work on that), **PioneerOfTheStarsMx, MikeTheHuman113** (My three favorites, in no particular order would be: For bros about to rock [LOVED the music references], Homespun [the most slice of life episode so far] and Study Muffin [I couldn't stop laughing]), **TexasGunKing, bruzer, Samtastic 3.0, TheEquestrianidiot 2.0, MorenoX25, OMEGA09, Zhilo** (muchas gracias!), **celrock, Secret life of Writing, Insane Wise-man, The Wannabe WriterOriginal,** **Azura100,** **thehardboiledhit.**_

* * *

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 **Chapter 9:  
Lincoln's Blue Period  
** **Part II – Monuments**

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

Lincoln lacked Lisa's scientific knowledge. He didn't know the laws of thermodynamics, nor Newton's laws. But he loved reading comics, and more than once he'd read about a very specific law: Murphy's Law. This law stated that anything that could go wrong, would go wrong. He never really understood it, but when Cristina appeared in the mall, he finally comprehended the beauty of the universe conspiring against one.

For starters, the moment of the interruption couldn't have been less opportune. He had planned his date with Ronnie Anne so he could prepare her for the news. He took her to eat at the mall, where no one would bother them. They were just eating their burgers and fries, enjoying the relaxing sound of the fountain's water behind them. They were talking and laughing like they always did when they were together. You could tell from miles away that they both enjoyed each other's company. Lincoln was really happy with her, for Ronnie Anne would awake new emotions and sensations deep within him. That's why he kissed her. Looking at her in the eye, he couldn't resist himself, he had to do it. And then it all went to hell. He was finally ready to tell her the truth, he felt like he couldn't just keep hiding it from her. He needed to tell her. But just when he was about to reveal his fateful medical diagnostic, she interrupted him.

That was another point that the Universe took advantage of to apply Murphy's Law: the misunderstanding. Ronnie Anne believed that he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend. That idea hadn't even crossed his mind. Yeah, he liked her a lot… He probably already loved her. But he was an eleven years old boy, he wasn't ready for a formal relationship, to have a girlfriend. And then he kinda messed up, since his initial reaction was way unfortunate. What was he thinking when he told her that he didn't wanted to be her boyfriend? How could've he said something like that? He would've loved to be her boyfriend, but he wasn't ready yet. He saw the deception and sadness in Ronnie Anne's face, and he tried to explain it to her. But he was nervous, and he didn't do it in time.

All that succession of little disasters seemed to fulfill only one objective: prepare things so Cristina arriving there would trigger chaos. Because there surely were multiple explanations about why that girl, once Lincoln's crush, had shouted his name and had run right at him. But, following Murphy's Law, Ronnie Anne's mind, clearly influenced by the moment and the misunderstanding, decided to choose the worst possible explanation.

"Cristina?" Both Ronnie Anne and Lincoln said, seeing the girl standing right in front of them.

Cristina looked pretty bad. No in an aesthetic way; she was a beautiful girl. But she looked really sad, with her sparkling eyes about to shed some tears. Her eyes were dancing between Lincoln and Ronnie Anne. She had clearly seen Lincoln from the distance, but she didn't seem to realize Ronnie Anne was there until she was standing ten foots from her.

"Ronnie Anne?" She finally asked, with a shaky voice. "What are you doing here?"

Lincoln turned to his left so he could see Ronnie Annie.

She was looking at Cristina, clearly just as confused as he was. Slowly, she turned around to see Lincoln. He saw her eyes going from his khakis to his shoes, his shirt and his combed and shinning hair. Her eyes darted to Cristina, and then once again to Lincoln. He could almost hear the gears inside Ronnie Anne's brain working. And finally, he saw how the confusion in her eyes was replaced by another look, one he had only seen one time, when he'd insulted her in front of his friends at Jean Juan's. It was a look of deception and sadness, but mostly rage.

"Now I get it" she said, standing up. "It that it? That's why you can't be with me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Her!" She yelled, pointing a finger in Cristina's direction, but with her eyes focused in Lincoln.

"Ronnie Anne, I don't know what..."

"Don't take me for a fool! I saw that video too, I know you like her!"

Lincoln felt his cheeks blushing. He didn't dare to see Cristina. He was still completely embarrassed about that video he'd published where he was kissing one of Lucy's statues with a picture of Cristina on top of it.

"B-But, Ronnie Anne..."

"That's why you brought me here?" She asked, with a single tear falling down her right cheek. "Just to tell me that you're with someone else?"

"Ronnie Anne! How could I be with someone else?! I just got back from the hospital!"

"Who was your doctor? Uh? Doctor Chase?"

By now, Lincoln was completely dumbfounded. What was going on? Ronnie Anne seemed to be accusing him of dating Cristina, and now she was asking him who his doctor was? Who the heck was Dr Chase?

"Ronnie Anne, please, listen to me."

She took her skateboard and gave him one last glance.

"If it wasn't because I know you've already been in the hospital, I would send you there myself."

"Wait, stop!"

His pleadings were in vain. She quickly dashed from him, leaving him alone and confused.

"Dang it!"

He sat on the border of the fountain, his hands nervously rubbing his face. Lately, nothing was turning out okay for him. Not only he had found out that he was going to die, but also everything he did seemed to be a completely failure. His sisters were reacting worse than he'd imagined. Lori was having serious troubles controlling herself, Leni… Well, she was still Leni. Lynn was way more aggressive, Luan didn't speak to anyone, Luna was locking herself in the garage all day long playing her guitar, and Lisa decided that she would save him no matter what. He was constantly lying to his little sisters, which made him feel horrible. The news had devastated Clyde and his dads, and now he'd failed in telling the truth to Ronnie Anne, and she ran away from him, probably hating him.

Definitely, the worst week ever.

"I'm sorry" Cristina said, bringing him back to reality. "It wasn't my intention."

Lincoln looked up. Cristina. From all the people in the world, why did she had to appear? She was Lincoln's first crush, and a beautiful girl. But she never payed him any attention, and the few times he had gathered up the courage to talk with her, she always looked completely uninterested. After that embarrassing video was released, she even changed classes so she wouldn't have to see him all day. It had hurt him at first, but then his relationship with Ronnie Anne started to develop and get better, and Lincoln had practically forgotten about Cristina. And now she appeared out of nowhere to ruin his moment with Ronnie Anne. Was it too much to ask for a little bit of tranquility so a boy could tell the ones he loved that he was going to die?

He frowned and looked to his right.

"What are you doing here?" He snapped, with a little more roughness than he intended.

She slowly stepped closer, until she was standing in front of him. Lincoln still didn't look at her.

"I… came to see you."

That awoke his curiosity. He looked up, still mad.

"Me? But, how would you know I was here?"

"I called to your house" she answered, nervously playing with one of her curls. "Your mom told me you were in the mall, and since I live five blocks from here… I wanted to see you."

"Why? Why would you want to see me? We're not exactly friends. Actually, if my memory's not failing, you told Jordan to tell me that I should better stay away from..."

"Is it true?" She interrupted him.

She looked like she was about to cry, and she had both her hands occupied playing with her hair. Lincoln may have failed as the Girl Guru in school, but he was convinced that girls would only play that much with their hairs only if they were nervous. He didn't know what Cristina meant with that question, but a part of him immediately thought the worst.

"What?" He cautiously asked.

"Are you dying?"

Lincoln remembered his talk with Dr House. The doctor told him that apparently he was taking the news of his fateful destiny in a very mature way. He wasn't really sure about that anymore. Everytime someone touched the subject –which fortunately didn't happen too often– he couldn't avoid to think that Destiny was slapping him right in the face. It was horrible to be reminded that his days were numbered. It was even worse when the girl she used to be in love with was asking him about it, in the verge of tears, when no one outside his family was supposed to know about it.

A lot of stuff crossed his mind, but the only thing he knew was that there was no point in denying it.

"Who told you? Clyde?"

Cristina covered her mouth with both hands.

"So it's true!" She whispered, right before she started to cry.

He was really pissed off with Cristina. He was probably being unfair, since she hadn't really done anything bad, but the fact that she ruined his moment with Ronnie Anne made her a good candidate to aim his anger at. But no matter how mad he was with his life, seeing a girl crying softened him. The fact that she was crying for him made him feel even more sad.

He tried to ignore her. He looked elsewhere. She wasn't crying loudly or desperately like his sisters had done that morning in the hospital. It was more of a silent cry, with the only sound of her irregular breathing. She was standing up, with her hands covering her face and her shoulders shaking as she cried. If he looked away and hummed a little, he could probably ignore her. But not even the most insensitive soul in the world could be apathetic with a crying girl.

Sighing, Lincoln stood up and approached Cristina. He barely had to put a hand on her shoulder before she jumped right into him. He hugged her, careful to not hug her as tight as she was embracing him, since that could hurt her. Luckily, he was used to painful demonstrations of love from his sisters. He just held her there. He didn't dare to caress her back, like he would've certainly done with one of his sisters, or even with Ronnie Anne. He contained her, letting her cry her emotions out.

The funny thing about Murphy's Law is that it's taken to the extreme. It's not about that little accidents will happen, or that something will go wrong. No, it was actually that EVERYTHING that could go wrong, would go wrong. That's exactly why, as Lincoln hugged Cristina, a girl was watching him from the far away stairs. From that distance, she couldn't distinguish much, she could barely recognize the orange shirt and the white hair. She couldn't see Cristina crying, just the two of them embracing each other. Furious, defrauded and very, very sad, the girl took her skateboard and ran away as fast as possible from the mall.

* * *

"What?!" Said Clyde, using his feet as brakes to stop the swing. "Lincoln, I swear I didn't tell anyone, I would never do that! I promised you that I would keep it a secret!"

"I know" reassured him Lincoln, as he kept swinging higher and higher. "It turns out her uncle works at the hospital. Cristina Chase. I should've known."

"Oh… So he told her?"

Lincoln nodded, taking even more impulse.

"This morning he visited them at lunch in her house. Apparently, the doctor who took my case is some kind of celebrity in the hospital, and he just takes the most difficult cases. Everytime he takes one, everyone learns about it. And the news about a kid diagnosed with an incredibly weird terminal disease is the kind of stuff this guy thinks it's fun to talk about while having lunch. They started to talk about the poor kid's family, and then the doctor mentioned the fact that the kid had ten sisters."

Clyde sighed.

"It was easy for Cristina to make the connection. The fact that you were all bummed out in class today, that I didn't went to school the entire week… She called my house and my mom told her that I was in the mall. She lives nearby, so she went there."

"But… she… I thought she hated you since you showed everyone your video kissing a picture of her."

Lincoln stopped moving, and he started to lose the momentum and inertia of his swing. The pendular movement continued for a minute, until he finally stopped next to Clyde.

"She told me she likes me" he said, staring at the ground.

"What?! Cristina?! But… Like you as a friend, or as…?"

"Clyde" he interrupted him, looking at him dead serious. "She likes me."

Lincoln's eloquence was pretty clear. Clyde let out a surprised whistle.

"Wow. That's… How did you took it?"

Lincoln softly and sarcastically chuckled.

"How did I took it? I was astonished. I didn't know what to say. She told me that she had realize it only when our classmates started to spread the rumor that I was Ronnie Anne's boyfriend. She started to think and realized that she finds me really cute, and tender, and blablabla. I didn't know what to do, Clyde! I just told her that I like Ronnie Anne. She seemed to understand it, but she kept crying, and she told me how sorry she was about everything, for making me feel bad, for avoiding me, and all of that. I stayed there until she calmed down. She then told me how she found out about my disease, and then I went straight to your home to talk with you."

"I'm sorry, Lincoln, At least you were honest."

"Clyde, I feel like the universe is having fun making me miserable."

He stood up and started to walk. Clyde quickly followed him.

"It's like I don't have enough dealing with the fact that I'm dying" he loudly complained, walking straight to the big pond in the park. "No, no, it's clearly not enough. Not only I have to deal with that, also everything around me is starting to go to hell."

"Lincoln..."

"Don't you get it?" He said, stopping in the border of the pond, bending down to grab a rock. "My family's torn apart, and I don't know how I can fix that."

He threw the first stone to the water. If there was something where he could beat Lynn, besides math, it was definitely skipping rocks. She could throw them farther and harder, but she couldn't make them bounce over the water. She had always been jealous about how Lincoln could practically grab any rock in the world and make it bounce four or five times in the water...

Unlike that one, that sank in the first try.

"Half my sisters don't know how to stand this, and I'm hiding it from the other half" he said, throwing another rock.

That one also sank the moment it touched the water.

"Actually, Lisa already knows, and Lily's just a baby. So you're only hiding it from three of your sisters."

"That doesn't make me feel better" he bitterly said, throwing a third stone.

SPLASH. Sunken.

"I was barely starting to deal with all of this, and now the girl I love won't talk to me, and the one I used to like tells me that she likes me now. A love triangle just when all I want is a little peace. It's like everything around me is falling apart!"

He threw that last rock with so much violence that he didn't have to see it to know that it wasn't skipping on the water. He let himself fell to the ground and started to muss his own hair, ruining his mother's work on it. Clyde sat besides him and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Lincoln, don't fell like that" he said, trying to keep it together for his friend; he didn't want to cry in front of him, not again. "None of this is your fault. It's our fault, it' everyone else's fault. It's hard to take the news of your… that you… about your disease."

Lincoln felt Clyde taking away his glasses and using his sweater sleeve to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"You're the best guy I know. You're the mos t extraordinary person any of us has ever known. You're kind, you're funny, you worry for everyone. It's hard for us to accept that you… that you're… that..."

"I get it, Clyde. I understand you. But what about me?" He said, embracing his own knees against his chest. "I'm afraid. I'm sad, too. And everyday I feel a little worse."

Lincoln knew he was about to cry. Clyde hugged him, and he hugged him back.

"Lincoln… I don't know what to say. I don't why is this happening, or why it had to happen to you. But I'll be with you 'till the end of the road, buddy. Always with you."

Lincoln, shedding some tears, smiled.

"I know, Clyde. That's all I want."

* * *

Coming back home was starting to become Lincoln's own _viacrucis_.

He was walking by the sidewalk when he heard the music coming from the garage. The doors were completely closed, but the sound made it past them anyway. He decided to get closer, to try and see how was Luna doing. From the distance he could hear the sound of the highly distorted electric guitar, but as he was getting closer the sound suddenly changed to a cleaner one, a beautifully sad arpeggio. Lincoln tried to open the door, but it was locked from the inside. He desperately needed to see his older sister. He noticed that one of the trash cans was mostly empty, and he quickly put it under one of the garage's high windows. As he tried to get on top of it without falling, Luna started to sing, with the guitar arpeggio sounding in the background.

" _Things are not what they used to be, missing one inside of me… Deathly loss, this can't be real, cannot stand this hell I feel."_

He felt something weird in the way Luna was singing. She had an amazing voice to sing her favorite rock songs, with her own style sounding pretty close to the singer from _The Interrupters_ , but she always liked to try to imitate the voices of the original singers of the songs she was playing. He could tell that she was trying to imitate the voice of a man, but there was something odd.

He finally climbed the trash can and managed to sneak a peak through the window. He saw Luna playing her electric guitar, which was connected to a pedal board next to her feet. She was playing with her eyes closed, completely focused and submerged in the song. And Lincoln soon found out why she was singing like that: she was clearly trying not to cry.

" _Emptiness is filling me, to the point of agony. Growing darkness taking dawn, I was me, but now_ _ **he's**_ _gone!_ "

As she finished singing that verse, Luna pressed one of the pedals, and the sound of her guitar was once again loud and distorted. She started to play more energetically, making the windows vibrate, and she was utterly rapt in the rhythm and the power chords. Lincoln slowly climbed down from the trash can and slowly walked away. Luna wouldn't even hear him if he knocked the door, and he didn't really know what to say to her anyway.

He knew her. She wasn't crying because she had the music to unburden. She always did that when she was feeling really sad or anything, she resorted to music and would hide her true emotions behind it. He was no psychologist, but he supposed that it helped Luna to play songs that talked about the things she had to deal with. It was a way to indirectly express herself. She didn't have to admit or even acknowledge her problem, she could just sing a song from some guy's perspective, and even though she could identify with it, she was ultimately avoiding the subject. It was an artistic distraction so she didn't have to deal with her feelings. Lincoln believed that, between the various ways of deal with the pain, that wasn't so bad. It helped to keep her distracted. But there are some things that one just can't ignore.

Since he was already by the garage, he decided to go inside the house by the kitchen door. It didn't make any sense to go all the way to the front again. But when he opened the fence and stepped into the backyard, he saw that someone was already there. He saw Lynn standing in front of a wood plank with the base buried in the ground. She was wearing her usual outfit, but she seemed to be practicing karate. She was punching the board again and again. Lincoln had heard her talking with their dad before, asking him to help her build her own makiwara, a karate striking post. Seemingly, his father had finally agreed, or Lynn just decided to do it herself.

Carefully, he approached her. He could hear her releasing air with each punch, and he could also hear the sound of her knuckles impacting against the wood, almost like a constant hammering. She was always punching with her right hand, and when Lincoln got close enough, he noticed that the knuckles on her left hand were bleeding. He stopped dead on his track when he saw that. He knew Lynn liked to take the things to the extreme, but punching a wood post until her hands were covered in blood? That was no training. That was rage.

"Ugh!" She complained with each punch. Her knees were trembling a little, and Lincoln thought that she seemed to be in pain. But instead of punching lighter, she was increasing the intensity of her attacks. Each punch made a louder thud, and the wood plank was vibrating more and more.

Finally, after a punch that could very well break through a door, Lynn let out a yelp of pain and fell right on her knees, quickly grabbing her wrist.

"Lynn!" Lincoln screamed, quickly going with his sister.

Lynn was grabbing her wrist, flinching. Lincoln wasn't an orthopedist, but it seemed like his sister had twisted her wrist, or maybe even sprained it when she punched the makiwara with that much strength. He kneel besides her, very worried.

"Are you okay?"

Lynn looked up and saw her brother. Her eyes were full of pain, but it wasn't because of the possible lesion in her wrist. She stood up and tried to walk away fro him, but he was faster and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Lynn, you should put some ice on it or something" he said.

"Let me go" she pleaded, trying to not make visual contact with him.

"Lynn, please, don't do this. Can we just talk?"

"Stay away from me!" She yelled, abruptly breaking away from him. Once he wasn't grabbing her anymore, she ran inside the house.

If she would've been mad at him, he could've handled that scream better. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for one of his sisters to be mad at him for something he'd done. But there was no trace of anger in Lynn's voice; it was all sadness, pain, melancholy. Guilt. And that was something that hurt him more than any amount of anger. An insult, he could take it. A slap, he would get over it. But his sister feeling any kind of guilt for his incoming death? That he couldn't handle. He needed to have a talk with her, just to clear things out.

He entered the kitchen, and before heading to his room, he decided to drink a glass of orange juice. He took the juice jar, went to the countertop, grabbed the first glass he found and started pouring the juice inside.

"Poo poo!"

He looked at his right. In the dining room, Lily was sitting in her special chair next to the table. Luan was also there, helping feeding her. She was moving the spoon in the air like an airplane, but she was silent. She was facing away from Lincoln, so he didn't see her face, but judging by how slowly her movements were and the way her shoulders were practically hanging, he couldn't really picture her with a happy face.

Luan was probably the one who enjoyed being with Lily the most. She was the only one who managed to kinda interpret the youngest Loud's gibberish, and since pretty much anything made Lily laugh, Luan enjoyed making funny faces or strange noises to keep her entertained. She loved her little sister, and she spent a lot of time playing with her. But in that occasion, she seemed to be feeding her almost because she had to. She had zero enthusiasm, and perhaps just to keep her mime routine going, she was in silence. The make up itself seemed to amuse the baby, but Lincoln felt a new slap to his soul seeing Luan like that.

He wanted to go and talk with her, see what kind of reaction he could get from her. But just by seeing her he could imagine the kind of response she would give him. In the best case, she would stick to her mime routine and silently tell him to go away. In the worst case, she would completely ignore him. He decided to leave her alone, for now. He didn't want to bother her. He would have a talk with her in another occasion.

He bitterly realized that he needed to have a talk with each of his sisters.

He couldn't finish his juice. He left the glass in the countertop, knowing that Lana would probably drink it later, and then he quietly went to his room. He slowly walked into the dining room, trying to pass behind Luan without her noticing him. Lily did saw him, and his baby sister started to move his arms to call him. He put a funny face and she laughed. Before Luan could turn around, Lincoln was already climbing the stairs.

Once inside his room, he took off his shoes and put on some much more comfortable sneakers. He turned on his laptop and opened his web browser. He needed a distraction, something funny, entertaining, whatever that could keep him from thinking about how everything was starting to fall apart around him. But he couldn't find anything.

Inevitably, he thought about his death once more. In the aftermath that his death would have in his family. Would all his sisters become a shadow of what they used to be? How long would they be mourning for him? Could they ever move on? Well, of course they would. They all would still be alive, they'd need to move on eventually.

And then, one of Lincoln's deepest and most recent fears reappeared: what would happen after they could finally overcome his death? He wanted the best for his sisters, and seeing them in such grief was intolerable, but even so, the idea of them going on with their lives without him scared him. It terrified him. He remembered one of his talks with Adrien, about the wonderful things about the pyramids. He was no pharaoh, he didn't have any monuments to immortalize himself in. What would his legacy be?

"Linky? Are you there?"

From outside his room, Leni was calling him. Lincoln stood up and opened the door. His sister was standing in the hall, with her phone in her hand, smiling like always.

"Hi, Leni", he said, trying to look happy too. Leni's happiness was still a mystery for him. The simplest explanation would be that she didn't understand that he was going to die. It wouldn't be that surprising, considering how… _absentminded_ she could be sometimes. But she had cried along with the rest of his older sisters that morning in the hospital. And the night before, he'd seen her face in the grown up table, and there was no doubt that she was pretty much devastated like the rest of them. He didn't know what was going on inside Leni's head, but he certainly wouldn't be complaining about one of his sisters being happy.

"Are you busy right now?" She excitedly asked.

"No, not really. I'm actually pretty bored" he admitted, somewhat shyly.

"Great! Come with me."

Without even asking him for permission, she grabbed him by the hand and started to walk to her room.

"Leni? Where are we going?" He asked, trying to keep up with his sister.

"To my room, duh" he playfully said, like it was obvious.

"What about Lori?"

"She's in a date with Bobby. When she's really sad, it always helps her to be with him."

As always, Leni's brutal honesty hit Lincoln like a punch in the face. Any other of his sisters would've told him that Lori was hanging out with her friends, or that she was just with Bobby. There was no need to remind him that she was also devastated by his fate.

They entered her room, and she made him sit in her bed right next to her.

"So, you need help with something or what?"

"Yes!" She happily answered.

He waited for her to be a little more specific about what she needed help with, but Leni seemed to believe that Lincoln already knew that.

"Okay. So, how can I help you?"

"Well, you see, I was checking my Instagram and I, like, have tons of pictures with Lori and the rest of our sisters, but I barely have any with you. And I thought that, like, you're part of the family too, right?"

"Thank you, I'm glad you've noticed it."

"You're welcome! So, what do you say? Do you want to take some selfies with me?"

Lincoln moved uncomfortably in his place. He had enough self esteem as to not feel bad about his looks, but he wasn't really fond of taking pictures.

"Um, Leni, I'm sorry, but I'm always bad in pictures, you know?"

"That's not true!" She said, smiling. "All my friends thinks that you're like totes cute."

He felt the heat in his cheeks when he heard those words.

"Seriously, Leni, don't you want me to help you with your fashion designs or something?"

"Come on, let me just take some selfies!"

Without being able to even protest, she grabbed him by the armpits, like he was a little kid, and put him over her lap.

"Selfie!" She said, putting on her picture face and raising up her phone.

"Leni, let me go!" He complained, trying to stand up, but she was holding him really tight, like a teddy bear, and it was impossible for him to break away.

"Okey, now another one!" She said, this time putting his head against Lincoln's with their cheeks pressed together. "Just like with the family pictures when we were kids!"

"Stop it!"

Although he complained, Lincoln was actually smiling. It was true: when he was a kid, they always had to press against each others for the family pictures on the couch. They were just too many for such a small sofa, and he always ended up in the middle, being squeezed by his older sisters. Most of the times, it ended up being Leni the one sitting besides him. Fortunately, his parents eventually bought a bigger sofa.

This time he heard the sound of the camera taking the picture, and he started to laugh just imagining it.

"That's better! Now let's take one to make my friends all jealous" she said, turning her head, closing her eyes and pressing her lips against Lincoln's right cheek. She stayed like that for a couple of seconds, while her phone took the picture.

Being playing like that barely five minutes after nearly having an emotional breakdown felt too bizarre for Lincoln. He couldn't help but laugh a little more, as he realized just how much he loved Leni. She could pretty often get on everyone's nerves with her carefree behavior, but there was no one in the world as innocent and kind as her. She fought with the rest of the family, like everyone, but she would never do something that could hurt or upset any of her siblings intentionally. For her, it was all love and tenderness. And Lincoln was desperately needing both.

"Leni?" He softly called her, when she finally took the picture.

"Alright, alright, no more pictures" she said, a little disappointed.

Her disappointment was soon replaced by surprise and then happiness when Lincoln turned around on her lap and embraced her, resting his head on her chest.

"I love you" he said, hugging her with a smile on his face.

She smiled too and rested her head on top of his. She also embraced him with an arm, while her other hand was preparing her phone and took one last picture.

"I love you too, Linky."

They stayed like that. He could feel Leni's calm breathing, her heart beating soft, and he could also feel her fingers gently caressing his hair. He felt like he was five years old again, when his older sisters were all much more tender with him, and it was an everyday thing for one of them to go with him and have a nap while hugging him. He felt secure, calm, but mostly, he felt loved.

It felt so nice, being there with her, that in just a few minutes he fell asleep.

* * *

" _Lincoln! Lincoln! Lola, go get Lincoln!_ "

His mother's voice, coming from downstairs, woke him up. He opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was the smiling, sleepy face of his sister Leni. She was lying on her bed, and he was on top of her. He remembered the photo session and smiled. Very carefully so he didn't wake her, he got out of the bed and stood up. He stretched his arms, trying to remove the numbness he felt in them, and then he noticed that Leni's phone was on the nightstand next to her bed, with her Instagram opened in one picture. He would've looked elsewhere, like he always did to avoid seeing or reading embarrassing stuff, but it was a collage of the pictures she'd taken before falling asleep, and he wanted to see them.

In a column, one over the other, there were the first three pictures. The first one showed a somewhat annoyed Lincoln, trying to escape from Leni's embrace, while she just smiled at the camera. The second one was a close-up of their faces pressing together, she looking at the camera again and him giving her a playful look. The third one showed Leni kissing him in the cheek, while he was laughing. And then, next to the three pictures column, there was a bigger one. He was sitting on Leni's lap, facing her, and the two of them were trapped in a warm embrace. They were both smiling, and it was so natural that it almost seemed like someone else had found them and took the picture without them noticing.

The picture description was: " _With the best and cutest little brother in the world ! #Love_ _#_ _Siblings #Brother #Sister #Family #Hug #Hapiness_ ", followed by a few heart shaped emojis. It currently had over two hundred likes and thirty seven comments. To read them would be invading his sister's privacy, so he left the phone right where it was and walked out of the room just as Lola was heading there.

"What where you doing in Lori's room?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I was taking a nap with Leni" Lincoln admitted. There was no point in telling her yer another lie.

"Okay… weirdo" she said. "Mom wants you to go downstairs, there's a lady in the door that wants to see you."

"A lady?"

Confused, he went downstairs. In the entry, his mother was talking with a woman. Lincoln had never seen her before, although her face looked somewhat familiar. She was well into her thirties. Her brown hair fell almost to her shoulders, and was partially hidden under a black beret. She was wearing a long black dress that almost reached the floor, showing her fancy black shoes. Her hands were holding a little square wooden box, no bigger than a notepad. The two women were whispering, probably so no one could hear them.

"Mom?" Lincoln called her when he reached the bottom of the stairs. "You wanted to see me?"

His mother turned around and Lincoln was scared when he noticed that she seemed to be really sad. She walked until she stood in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Lincoln, honey, this lady came here to give you something, okay? Go with her to the sidewalk and hear what she has to say. I don't want your sisters to interrupt you."

Rita seemed to be begging her son to go outside to talk with a stranger, which was against everything she and her husband had tried to teach him in the last eleven years. Not quite understanding what was going on, he nodded. He was confused, but he was sure that his mother would never ask him to do something that could hurt him. Apparently this lady had something to give him. Would it be like a gift?

The lady started to walk to a car that was parked next to the sidewalk. With one last look at his mother, Lincoln followed the woman. When they got by the car, she opened the passenger's door and grabbed a letter envelope from the glove compartment. She then turned around to see Lincoln, and that's when he noticed how red her eyes were, like she had been crying for days now.

"Lincoln, it is a pleasure to meet you" she said, trying to smile.

She had a very strong accent, but Lincoln couldn't recognize it. It sounded European.

"The pleasure's all mine, miss…"

"Marlène. You can call me Marlène."

The lady kept staring at him for a few seconds, but Lincoln had the strange sensation that she was picturing someone else.

"So, Marlène, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes. I have… I have something for you."

She stretched her hand, offering him the envelope she'd just taken from the car. Lincoln carefully took it. He tried to feel what was inside of it with his fingers, but he could only feel some paper. It wasn't sealed and it didn't have any stamp on it. It only said " _To Lincoln Loud_ ", hand-written and with a sloppy calligraphy.

"What's this?" He asked, still not understanding what was going on.

"That is a letter my son wrote to you" Marlène said, in a low voice.

"Your son?"

"Adrien."

That word hit him like a wrecking ball. Adrien, the kid he'd met in the hospital just two days ago. The guy who told him that he was one week past the deadline the doctors had given him. Lincoln hadn't seen him in the hospital on Tuesday, and now his mother was showing up at his own house to give him a letter, all dressed in black. He didn't need to be a genius to understand what had happened.

He put a hand on his chest and he rested his back against the car to help him stand. He hoped that Marlène didn't mind that he was using her car for balance, but she clearly didn't care at all. She respectful and silently waited until Lincoln could process the news. It took him more minutes than he would've wanted, but he finally found the strength to speak.

"I'm sorry for your loss", he said.

And as soon as he said it, he felt like an idiot.

That was a sentence that meant absolutely nothing. What relief could it give to a woman who had lost her son? Those words sounded extremely empty, meaningless. He wondered how many times had that lady heard those words so far. But then he remembered what Adrien told him, about not knowing anyone in the city, and that he had no friends due to their constant travels across the world. He wondered now if maybe he'd been the first one to offer his condolences to Marlène.

"Thank you, Lincoln. For everything."

"Everything? What do you mean?"

"Adrien told me about you" she explained, as she silently started to cry again. "He… He didn't have many friends. And that is mostly my fault. I followed my dream of traveling around the world, believing it would be a great experience for him. But a child doesn't need to travel. A child doesn't need to know four languages. A child needs friends. And without realizing it, I deprived my little Adrien from having them. He was so happy to have met you… He wrote you that letter. And he left you this, too."

Marlène dropped her gaze to the box she was holding against her chest. It seemed to hurt her to give that box away, but she finally offered it to Lincoln. He noticed how attached she seemed to be to it, and he hesitated to grab it. But she nodded, and Lincoln took the little wooden box.

"Lincoln Loud… Thank you very much."

He answered something, but he was so confused and full of emotions that he didn't know what he said. The next moments were utterly confusing. By the time he could understand what was going on, Marlène had already bid him goodbye, and her car was driving away to never return. Lincoln looked at the letter and the box he had in both hands. He turned around and looked at this house. His mother was standing in the door, and his sisters were peeking through the windows. They were all watching him.

He went inside and no one asked him anything. His sisters seemed to be desperate for questioning him, but their mother was looking at them sternly, warning them to leave Lincoln alone. He was very glad that his mother could keep his sisters from assaulting him with questions. He went right to his room, and he locked himself in there. He turned on the desk lamp he had and he put the letter and the box under the light, contemplating them. Thinking about what could it be inside them. He heard some of his sisters going back to their respective bedrooms to do their things. The world was still turning, but he was still just staring at the objects Adrien had sent to him.

Finally, his curiosity won. With shaky hands he took the letter envelope and opened it. Inside there was a sheet of paper folded in the middle. He unfolded it and he found a small hand written letter, with the same calligraphy that was on the envelope.

 _Lincoln:_

 _By the time you're reading this, I'll be dead. It sucks, but it's the truth. I asked my doctor  
_ _to tell me where you live, so I could send you this. Apparently, that's something the  
_ _hospital wouldn't normally tell you, but I managed to convince them. I hope your family  
_ _don't sue them; I'd feel guilty._

 _You may be wondering why I've decided to wrote you a letter. I hope you don't think it's  
_ _weird. It's just that you're the only guy around my age I've talked with in a long time. And  
_ _it may sound silly, but you're the closest I've ever got to a friend. And you're also going  
_ _through the same thing I am, so I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you._

 _After our chat I started to think a lot about our deaths. The aftermath of our deaths.  
_ _We talked about Egypt, remember? We talked about pyramids, and I told you I think  
_ _they're cool because they're like thousands of years old and they're still out there.  
_ _Monuments to the pharaohs, that's what they left so we could remember them.  
_ _And since I'm about to die, I got to thinking about what am I leaving here, so I can  
_ _be remembered too. Or at least, to leave my mark._

 _I don't believe in destiny and that stuff, but if I did, then I'd be sure that destiny  
_ _wanted us to meet at the hospital. Because now that I know you, I feel like I've got  
_ _a chance to leave a mark here: I can help an eleven years old boy to leave a much  
_ _bigger mark than I could ever accomplish alone. Maybe that could be my monument,  
_ _to help you build yours. Our pyramid._

 _You've got two weeks left (maybe more, maybe less). Time is a valuable thing.  
_ _I always think about the chorus in Full Circle. You're american and you like rock,  
_ _so don't tell me you don't know it, because I listened to it in freaking Morocco.  
_ _Anyway, don't let time slip away._

 _I spend my last months mourning about my death, crying along with my mother.  
_ _And wherever it is that I'm heading to, I know I'll be regretting about it for eternity.  
_ _Don't let the same thing happen to you and your parents and sisters, Lincoln, or I  
_ _swear that when we meet again I'll kick your ass._

 _This may not be the Temple of Karnak, or Ramses Tomb, but this is my legacy, this  
_ _phrase is all I can leave you in the hopes that they may inspire you to accomplish  
_ _something bigger: Don't let time pass you by, Lincoln. Live your final days, and make  
_ _everything easier for your sisters. Let them remember you for what you've done, and if  
_ _you haven't done much yet… Well, you still have two weeks to build your pyramid.  
_ _I hope this helps you to understand the phrase in the picture. And if you haven't seen  
_ _the picture yet, then I'm sorry, you were supposed to open the box first. Who opens a  
_ _boring envelope first instead of the mysterious secret box?_

 _Until we meet again;  
_ _Adrien L. Deschamps_

He put the paper on the desk again. He was sure that he hadn't fully understood everything his friend had tried to say to him. He would read it again soon, to see if he could understand the deep meaning in the words there written, but before that, he decided to open the box he was supposed to open first.

Indeed, inside the box there was a picture. It seemed to be like a polaroid, but it was rectangular rather than squared. The picture showed a kid, about nine or ten years old, standing next to what was distinctly he entrance of an ancient Egyptian tomb. The boy had short brown hair, and had his fingers pointing at a sign next to the entrance. On the white frame of the picture, that reminded Lincoln of a polaroid, it was written: " _Inscription in the tomb:_ _Your deeds are your monuments._ "

Lincoln smiled. He started to understand what was Adrien meaning. He re-read the letter three more times, with the new perspective that that ancient inscription had given him in mind. He was definitely getting where his friend was going with that letter. He took the picture to take a better look at Adrien; it was strange to see him so happy and with hair. But when he raised the picture, he realized there was something else in the box.

Carefully, he took the old bronze wrist watch. The clock's needles were still, and the missing piece was taped in the back. Lincoln felt really bad for Adrien. He'd been working really hard to repair that watch, and in the end he didn't complete it. It was his most precious belonging, and he'd left it to Lincoln. He understood why it'd been so hard for Marlène to give it away. It was a memory of both her husband and her son. He felt bad for accepting it, but it was too late now. He stared at the motionless clock, and then he stood up.

He quickly went to Lisa and Lily's room.

"Lisa, got a moment?" He asked.

His younger sister was working in her super laptop, with some three dimensional models of what seemed to be cells and proteins.

"I'm busy, Lincoln. These enzymes won't create themselves" she said, not even looking at him.

"Could you help me?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"No, I mean with something else."

With a sigh, Lisa turned around and looked at her brother. She quickly noticed the wrist watch.

"I assume that's what the lady in black gave you" she said, completely sure that she was right.

"Yes. See, this was from… a friend. He was trying to fix it, but he couldn't do it. He almost got it, but he needed to find out where this little piece should be" he said, showing her the small gear that made the clock useless. "Do you think you could fix it?"

Lisa stepped closer and took the watch in her hands. She started to inspect it from the outside.

"Hmm. Interesting. A mechanical wrist watch, made entirely with pieces of pewter, bronze and a galvanized steel alloy. I believe this is the kind of watches that works with a very complex gear system."

"Yes, exactly!" Lincoln excitingly said.

"Very well. I shall see what I can do about it. I've never played with one of these before" she said with a smile, before looking up and giving him a very boring glance. "Is there anything more you need?"

"Not really."

"Then get out. I need as less distractions as possible."

Lincoln rolled his eyes and stepped away from his sister's room. He was about to head back to his own, but he heard some acoustic chords coming from Luna's bedroom, and he remembered a detail in Adrien's letter that he didn't understand. He went to see his older sister. The door was open, so he just stepped inside.

"Luna?" He called her.

His sister was lying on her bed, playing some random chords. As soon as she saw Lincoln, she left her guitar on the pillow and climbed down from her bunk bed.

"Linc! What's up, bro?" She asked, trying to sound cheerful, but her voice was tired from singing too much, and her shoulders were down. She was clearly having a hard time.

"I wanted to ask you something" he said, trying to remember the name of the song.

"Go ahead, I'm all ears."

"Do you know a song called… uh… _Full Circle_?"

Luna took a hand to her chin.

" _Full Circle_?" She frowned, thinking hard. "I know a couple of songs titled like that. There's one from that girl, the one from _Alaska Nebraska_ , and you have other bands like _Full Moon Fun_ , or even _Aero is Myth_. Why you asking, bro?"

"A friend recommended it to me" Lincoln admitted; Luna was his only hope to find out what had Adrien meant with that. "He told me it was a rock song, and he heard it in Morocco, so I guess it has to be kinda famous or something."

Luna snapped her fingers.

" _Say no more_ , dude. He's probably referring to the one from _Aero is Myth_. The song itself isn't really one of their big hits, but the band is known across the world, and the disc that song is from is awesome. Here, let me play it for you, bro."

"I think just the chorus would be fine" he said, wanting to hear what Adrien meant.

Luna grabbed her guitar, tuned it up in eight point two seconds and she started playing a catchy melody as she sang.

" _Time, don't let it slip away. Raise your drinkin' glass, here is to yesterday. In time, we're all gonna trip away, don't piss haven off, we got hell to pay. Come full circle…_ "

At first, Luna started to sing with enthusiasm, but as she started to realize what she was singing, what the lyrics said, she glanced at Lincoln. By the end of the chorus, she could barely hold her guitar. She stood there, looking at her brother. Lincoln also realized how those lyrics could be applied to him, specially the first part, and in the context of what Adrien was trying to explain. It clearly wasn't the best musical reference, but Adrien was a french guy who'd lived in too many countries. It was probably hard for him to find a musical reference that Lincoln could understand.

"Lincoln?" Asked Luna, staring worriedly at him.

He tried to smile.

"Thanks, Luna. You're the best."

With no further words, he quickly went back to his room. He closed the door behind him and started to think about everything that was going on.

He was dying. That was a fact, and nothing could be done about it. What Adrien had tried to explain him was that he basically had two options: to lay on his bed and grief until falling asleep everyday, like he'd been doing since the doctors diagnosed him, or to accept what was going to happen, embrace the terrible truth and live his last days trying to make them worth it. Trying to leave a mark in this world.

He wondered how could he do that, how could he make those last few days worth living. Going to the amusement park? See as many movies as he could in the theater? Having ice cream after every meal? No. It wasn't about trivial stuff like that. In fact, it was actually not even about him. He remembered everything he'd seen since he arrived home a few hours ago. Luna, playing to hide her feelings. Lynn, punching a wood post to the point of hurting herself. Luan, who'd lost her cheerfulness and her enthusiasm. He thought about all his sisters, his parents, and how would they do when he finally died.

That was it.

It wasn't about him, it was about what he was leaving _after_ him. If he died right then, he would be leaving his sisters helpless, sad, unable to face his death. But he might be able to do something about it. He had two weeks to do it. Two weeks to prepare his sisters so they wouldn't suffer that much. He couldn't avoid them mourning about his death for a while; he knew that. But he could help them. He could pass enough time with them, so they could have new memories with him, so they could all remember him with a smile. He even could, if he exerted himself hard enough, to leave a mark, to make sure that their memories of him would mean something **more**. His deeds could be his monuments.

He was starting to get excited with this new idea, with his new mission in life, when Lisa suddenly opened his bedroom's door.

"Your friend did a nice work, unfortunately" she said, while she carefully laid the wrist watch on Linconl's desk. "It only took me a mere look to figure out where the problem was. Next time, I would appreciate a challenge."

"Lisa, you're a genius!"

"I know, I know. Now, if you excuse me, I need to work on your cure."

The little girl disappeared as fast as she arrived. Lincoln stared at the clock. Fifty seconds… Fifty five… Fifty nine… The minute hand moved too. The clock was working. He grinned when he thought about the little missing piece Adrien couldn't place. Every piece in a machine has its function. Why would industries waste time and energy in useless parts? Every little part had a reason to be there. Lincoln was part of the Loud family. He wasn't there just because; he too had a reason to be.

He remembered his talk with Bobby, about God and why would this be happening to him. Bobby started saying that it was all part of a grander plan. That idea didn't convinced Lincoln, but then the young Santiago had reached another conclusion: " _Maybe you're right, and there's no reason behind this. That doesn't mean you can't give it one yourself_ ". Lincoln did like that idea. The die was cast –no pun intended. He hadn't chose this destiny for him, but it was now up to him to make something out of it. To make the best for his sisters; they would be his legacy.

Feeling a sudden inspiration, he took the watch and put it on his wrist. Now that all the pieces were in their right place, the time was running again. He took a sheet from one of his notebooks and started to write some sketches. As he started to write and draw, he spoke aloud, for himself, and he was surprise to hear so much confidence in his voice.

"Time to put Operation Making-Sure-That-My-Last-Few-Days-Help-My-Sisters-To-Have-Fond-Memories-Of-Me-And-Leave-A-Great-Legacy-And-Also-Think-Of-A-Shorter-Name-For-This-Operation… into action! Phew… That was a long one..."

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _HOLY F-U-C-K._

 _It took me AN ENTIRE FUCKING DAY to translate this shit. Dudes, I'm overclocking._

 _You have no idea how many scenes I started to write and then I deleted, because I knew I was having a really long chapter, and I didn't wanted to spend too much time on things that didn't move the plot forward. And before any of you say anything, THAT SELFIE SCENE IS FUNDAMENTAL TO THE PLOT… Ok, no, but, did you pictured that scene? Leni playing with Lincoln and taking some selfies with him on her lap? How could I not include that? DON'T YOU HAVE A HEART?!_

 _Ejem… In other news, sorry for basically throwing all the symbolism right into your face. The metaphors about the monuments, the watch, the pieces of the mechanism… In my original idea, those were a lot more subtle. But, idk, after chapter 4 (the one with Lucy that was all about the masquerades) I had some PM's with a couple of readers, and it turns out that I'm not really that good with the **subtle** metaphors and meanings, since they seemed to be unnoticed. So, since I'm not Jorge Luis Borges (shame on you if you don't know who he is) and I'm not as confident with myself as to simply ignore all those criticisms, I decided to make the allegories more evident, so there's no doubt about what I tried to tell you._

 _Oh, and for those of you who don't recognized the songs and are too lazy to google them: the first song Luna was playing in the garage was "Fade to Black", by Metallica. And I think it's pretty obvious, but the other one, "Full Circle", is by Aerosmith. The latter was mostly there because I love Aerosmith, but Fade to Black is completely in tune with the fic. I should make a YouTube reproduction list with all the songs that inspires me to write this, and all the songs that Luna plays (and we'll have a LOT of them)._

 _Okay, now, some sad news: I have two really important college tests in the next 15 days, one important project to finish (with models and everything, so basically that itself is worth a sleepless week) and I have a study trip to another city, so I'm already pretty sure that I won't be able to update this month. There's a slight chance that I might update between November 20th and 30th, but it's not for sure._

 _But I also have GOOD news: After November, my summer break is officially starting. That means: beach, parties, my job, but most importantly: a LOT of time to write. So from December 1st on, I'll be updating every week. I might even update every 4 days or something like that. Hurray!_

 _Alright, that's it. See you soon, guys. Also, Happy Halloween!_


	10. Operation Farewell

_._

 _Well, long time no see. As you know, this was because of my exams and last projects in this year's college. I had really good grades and got through it all without much problems, so thank you all for your support._

 _Even though I didn't have time to write, I'm pretty sure there wasn't a single day where I wouldn't think about this fic. You know, thinking about some scenes, some dialogues, some chapter's structure… But mainly, I spend my time thinking about the impact this story has had. There's something this fic has achieved, something I'd never thought it could, something I'm very proud of. This fic made it possible for a lot of people to relate with Lincoln and/or his family, and they managed to have a catharsis. I have received reviews from people who have Neurofibromatosis, thanking me for helping spreading information about this disease. I received private messages from people who went through the loss of a loved one, telling me how much they can relate to the characters._

 _But there was a case that just kept resonating within my heart. It was the case of someone who's **going through the same as Lincoln**. It's a review that's on the spanish [original, mind you, ha] version of this fic. A young man (20yo, I think) who's dying, and who told me about how much he related with Lincoln, and how reading some scenes (like Lori telling Lincoln to ask for a hug whenever he feels like he needs one) had him shedding tears and running straight to his family for a hug. I can assure you that I read that whole review with a knot in my throat, and after reading it I spend some time just thinking about the consequences of what I've written. I never thought something I write just because it's my hobby could have an impact like this in someone else's life. For me, this is just a way to have some fun; for others, it seems, this may be a little more. And that amazes me._

 _So I want to dedicate this chapter to **UniverseFalls77**. Dude, my thoughts are with you. _

_So, to finish this little Author Note, I just want to say that I'm eternally grateful with you all, magnificent readers. And, as always, here's a little mention to all of you who review'd this story (I kindy invite you to re-read your reviews, since it's been a month and you otherwise won't remember what you wrote, haha):_

 _ **d_felipe76** (I'm sure he will), **newly awakened** (thank YOU for reading it!), **Omega Ultra** (thank you, man), **FanficFan920** (I could never forget about dear Ronnie Anne!), **Boris Yeltsin** , **celrock** (in various ways, I think exactly like you; I could die today and this story would be unfinished. We can't take life for granted, since it can be so easily taken from us. My fanfics are, in a way, my monuments too. About your Ace Savvy idea, it's really good, but I'm afraid I already have a lot of ideas, and I don't think I can stuff much more in the story without making it needlessly long. But yours it's a GREAT idea! You should write a fanfic about it!), **Ayee** (That's my secret, Captain: I'm always crying -ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Avengers Reference-), **ImpossibleJedi4** , **littlealexmartinez61910** (alright, I see we have different opinions on RA and Lincoln's relationship. It's okay, tho. I'm glad you liked the selfies, hahaha), **venomsdragon14** (thank you!), **MikeTheHuman113** (thanks!), **BoukenDutch** (I may be a douche with Lincoln, but I wouldn't stand having Ronnie Anne suffering for such a misunderstanding for the rest of her life! About the "Seinfield is Unfunny" trope, well, there's nothing I can really do about it. At least everyone reckons that Seinfield indeed was funny when it came out. Maybe we'll have a lot of fics about this same premise, and hopefully, people will know that mine was one of the firsts), **Azura100, ExMarkSpot, Mew Shadowfang, Emperor of Performances** (well, I've only really cried while writing Chapter 3, when Lincoln thinks about all the things he won't be able to do with his sisters anymore, but I was close to cry again when writing Lori and Lincoln's scene in chapter 8), **Samtastic 3-0** (indeed, sometimes the most innocent may be the one who really gets what needs to be done), **Overtale, Burgernator, HtfLover** (nice taste), **ElectricLoud** (indeed, FUCK Murphy's Law), **thehardboiledhit** (Chapter 3 is still my personal favorite, haha. And I'm a kid too! Well, I'm 19 actually, I don't know how old are you, but I'm still a kid!), **Grim-XIII** (you'll eventually have all those things you want!), **Hatoralo** (Thank you for your review! I'm glad you like it, and I agree with you: choosing the right end is crucial. But I made my mind, and I know how I want it to end now), **Secret Life of Writing** (it wasn't really that long, hahaha, I like knowing detailed opinions! Don't cut yourself short, haha), **iamgoku, Yolo Santoise** (Thank you, although I don't really think I'm on a different level or anything; I guess I just read a lot and learned a thing or two about narration. And that's not a "minor" grammatical rule, that's a HUGE mistake I'm constantly making, hahaha. The worst part is that I actually know about it, but when I'm translating, eventually I get sloppy, and I start writing "didn't knew" or things like that without noticing it. And about writing some sentences like "told him Lori" instead of "Lori told him", that's because in spanish there's no difference between "Le dijo Lori" or "Lori le dijo". But I've been analyzing some English books I have -Harry Potter-, and I found that sometimes it's written "Harry said", and sometimes "said Harry". So I guess that it's possible that I unconsciously have that in mind when I'm writing, and I think that it's just like in spanish. But now that you pointed it out, I'll be more careful about it. Thank you), **Grey Star7474** (I'm glad that you could find something helpful here!), **UNSC-AI-ANT,** **OMEGA09,** **The Wannabe Writer Original, D-Structs, some-guy, Dead heart 9, Thb I cried, MadmansDeath** (don't hate me D: ) **LuasDials** and all the Guest's._

 _ **A** **nd** **Fuck You, Trump!**_

* * *

.

.

 **Chapter 10:  
** **Operation Farewell.**

.

.

That Thursday morning, the alarm clock started ringing at exactly six o' clock. Three seconds later, Lincoln's hand stretched and turned it off, leaving his room silent once again. Five seconds after that, he sat on his bed, moved the blankets away and put his feet on the floor, still trapped in that state between sleep and consciousness. He stretched his arms as he yawned, and then he started to move his neck, trying to loosen it up. Exactly at one minute past six in the morning, Lincoln Loud was standing on his feet in his room, checking himself in the mirror.

One of the corners of his mouth started to rise, ironically smiling at his own reflection.

"I'm a mess", he said with gritted teeth.

Somehow, his face seemed to have gotten years older in less than a week. The bags under his eyes were much larger than he remembered them being, he actually thought he was starting to have wrinkles around his eyes, and his whole face seemed to have been printed with the last few drops of ink in the cartridge. He knew that it was mostly due to the stress of the whole situation, clearly aggrieved by yet another night of restless sleep. He'd woke up in the middle of the night, agitated and covered in cold sweat, at least twice. It was happening him since the second night at the hospital, and it was starting to affect him.

Unlike the previous nights, however, Lincoln woke up determined. He grabbed one of his markers and moved towards his new calendar, the one he'd made the night before. He had thrown the previous one, replacing it with a brand new hand made calendar going from the previous Sunday –when the artery in his head was supposed to kill him–, and went on for exactly three weeks. The first three days, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, were already crossed out, and the third week squares were colored in red. He knew that there was no way in telling exactly when would his heart finally fail. It could be any moment, maybe even before the two weeks mark, but in order to organize his plan, he had arbitrarily designated the end of the second week as his deadline –pun intended. There was a chance of living a few more days after that, but he couldn't count on it. He had decided that he'd have until then only to do the multiple tasks written in a sheet of paper right next to the calendar.

Every objective had a little square box at its left, and only one of them had it checked: _Think of a shorter name for this operation_. The rest of the tasks, written in no particular order, had empty boxes, waiting to be fulfilled within ten days. Some of them seemed to be pretty easy to achieve: _See a sunset_ , _Try the new Burpin' Burger's Deluxe Combo_ , _Teach Clyde all the finishing moves in Super Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighters XXIV_ or _Plant a tree_. But many others, Lincoln thought, could be very well replaced by things like "win a marathon" and they wouldn't be necessarily more difficult, such as: _Fix things with Lynn_ , _Write one last poem with Lucy_ or _Kiss Ronnie Anne on_ _e more time_. Beneath them all, written in big letters, there was the phrase from Adrien's picture: _YOUR DEEDS ARE YOUR MONUMENTS_.

"First morning in Operation Farewell", said Lincoln, as he crossed out yesterday's square, Wednesday. "I'm at T minus ten days; there's no time to lose."

He grabbed his towel, his bath luffa, and headed straight to the bathroom. He passed in front of all his sister's rooms, but none of them seemed to be awake. Their alarm clocks didn't start ringing until half past six, which Lincoln of course knew. Careful to not make too much noise, he went inside the bathroom to have a nice, warm, morning shower.

Almost fifty minutes later, several doors opened up at the same time, and the sound of almost twelve pairs of feet filled the house. The alarm clock on the parents room must have failed to wake them up, or perhaps they needed more time than usual to get dressed and ready, for some reason, since they and their daughters arrived at the kitchen at the same time.

"Good morning, girls" said Mr Loud when he met them at the stairs. "Sorry, you'll have to wait a little before I can cook your..."

The words died in the father's mouth, for when he looked inside the kitchen he found that there was no need to wait to have breakfast. An already showered and happy Lincoln was moving quickly and determined in the kitchen, finishing the details of a gigantic breakfast for the rest of the Louds. The kitchen countertop was completely covered by twelve dishes, all having a couple of toasts, some bacon strips, three piled up hotcackes with maple syrup, and everyone's favorite type of eggs. They all stood petrified in their places, seeing with open mouths how Lincoln was grabbing the coffee maker and started to fill seven cups with it. When he finished, he took the cups and put them next to five glasses of orange juice for his younger sisters. After he prepared the drinks he turned around and only then he realized that his whole family was there.

"Morning!" He said with a big smile, taking off his apron. "I was about to call you. Hurry up, before they get cold."

"Hotcackes!" Squealed the twins at the same time, running to get their breakfast. "Thanks, Lincoln!"

Seconds later, Lucy and Lisa entered the kitchen and grabbed their breakfast. The first one whispered something about a warm caress to her cold heart, and the latter gave him a significant look. Lincoln smiled and Lisa quickly headed to her room, probably so she could start working right away on her investigation. The last one to approach him was Lily, who crawled until she hit his legs, smiling and gibbering.

"Oh, you're hungry, Lily?" Lincoln asked, lifting her up on his arms. "Don't worry, your big brother's cooked you a yummy breakfast."

He took his sister's special chair and put it next to the kiddy table, grabbing her specially scrambled food, so she could eat it easily. When she started to eat, enthusiastic, Lincoln turned around to look at the rest of his family, his older sisters and parents.

They were all still looking at him, without even blinking. It was hard for Lincoln to identify what were they thinking, since their faces looked more like a cubist painting, showing many emotions at the same time: surprise, thankfulness, sadness, a strong desire to hug him, and an equivalent effort to keep them from crying. He also remained quiet, timidly smiling at them, waiting for someone to thank him or something. That's what he thought it would happen, they would all be very happy for that morning present, the mable syrup would cheer them up and Operation Farewell would have a nice beginning.

Reality wasn't as nice as his fantasy.

"I, er… Don't you like it?" He asked, feeling an emptiness in his stomach that had nothing to do with the fact that he hadn't eaten anything yet.

His worried tone snapped his parents out of their trance.

"What? Lincoln, of course we like it!" Said his mother, quickly stepping forward to hug him.

"It's a wonderful breakfast, son", added his father. "But, Lincoln, you don't have to..."

"I know" he said, interrupting him. "I know I don't have to. But… But I _wanted_ to."

Again, a long, awkward silence. It wasn't the first time that Lincoln decided to make the breakfast for his whole family. He did it everytime he needed the morning to pass smooth and quickly, or after he'd done something that might have bothered his sisters, attempting to earn their forgiveness through their stomachs. His breakfast were always well received, and his sisters usually gave him one of their characteristic group hugs he liked so much. This time, however, the atmosphere was very different. There wasn't any kind of enthusiasm.

And then Luna spoke, and the morning was ruined.

"I don't want to go to school" she suddenly said, with decision.

They all turned to look at her. Her eyes were fixed on her brother, and her lips were pressed shut, like she was trying hard to keep them from trembling.

"Luna, we've talked about this" said her mother, trying to make her voice sound with authority, but it was impossible for her to conceal her sadness.

"I don't care. I want to stay here with Lincoln."

Never a silence was as palpable as right then. Lincoln could feel the tension in the air, the air pressure rising around them. He knew beforehand that it wasn't going to end up well.

"Honey, please, we all agreed to..."

"I don't care what we said!" She interrupted her father. "I don't want to go to school!"

"Me neither!"

Lynn took a step forward, with a challenging look on her face.

"Look", started Mr Loud, closing his eyes and trying to keep calm, "I know how you're feeling, but we all agreed that, until your younger sisters _know it_ , we all need to act normally."

"I can't at normally!" Luna complained. "This isn't a normal situation!"

"I don't want to go to school!" Repeated Lynn, raising her voice.

Apparently, she yelled loud enough to be heard from the living room.

"Lynn's not going to school?" Asked Lana, peeping her head through the door frame.

"If she's not going, then I'm not going neither!" Said Lola, her head appearing over her twin's.

"You're all going to school!" Said Rita.

"Can't we just stay for a day?" Begged Luna, dropping her initial rebellion.

"No! And that's final! You'll all have breakfast and then you'll go to school!" Yelled Mr Loud.

"I would gladly have my breakfast, but Lana ate my last hotcake!"

"That's not true!" Answered Lana, glaring with disdain at Lola.

Both of them argued for a couple of seconds, and before anyone could intervene, they started a new fight, rolling over the kitchen floor as they punched each other and pulled their hairs. Leni and Lori quickly tried to separate them. Taking advantage of the chaos, Luan grabbed her breakfast, her cup of coffee and silently walked to her room, not saying a word to anyone. Meanwhile, the parents were still arguing with Luna and Lynn, trying to bring them into reason.

"But I don't wanna go!" Said Lynn, completely irritated. "How can you expect me to concentrate knowing that…?!"

"LYNN!"

The kitchen fell silent after Lincoln's scream, and they all turned to take a look at him. His face, a mask of terror, immediately ended with any kind of violence, impertinence, defiance and nonconformity existent. His terrified look was divided between looking at Lynn and the twins. Even though he had already starting planning how to tell his younger sisters what was going to happen, he was still far from being ready to do so. He stepped closer to Lynn and tried to grab her hand, but she jumped backwards, and he noticed that she was wearing a black neoprene wrist brace. He remembered how she had hurt her wrist the day before by hitting too hard her makiwara, and he felt even worse, if that was somehow possible.

"Please", he simply said, almost begging.

Lynn was evidently pissed off. Her lips were almost nonexistent, compressed in such a thin line that she seemed to be realizing an inhuman effort to keep herself from opening her mouth and say what was going through her mind, and her nostrils looked to be about to spit fire. She was staring at him, frowning, but her eyes were glowing, threatening to start crying. She looked at him for a few seconds that Lincoln found everlasting, until she finally closer her eyes, took a deep breath, and she went quickly and annoyed to the countertop. She grabbed her plate and walked away from the kitchen, without looking at anyone. She stopped by the door frame, next to the twins.

"Thanks, Linc", she said, without looking back, and she went up the stairs, closing her bedroom's door so hard that the whole house trembled.

Luna realized that the battle was now lost, so she also took her plate, thanked Lincoln with a hug, and went to her room too.

The tension in the air started to fade away along with Lincoln's hope of a peaceful, relaxed morning. After a brief lecture from their parents, the twins went back to the living room, wanting to play a little more with Lucy before going to school. Aware of how upset were both Lynn and Luna, Rita and Lynn Sr. decided to go to their rooms and have a little talk with them. When the left, the kitchen stayed quiet, with the exception of Lily's gibberish as she feed herself, oblivious to everything.

Lincoln took dejectedly grabbed his food and went straight to the dining room. He put everything in the table and let himself fall on his chair. He started to cut his hotcakes, but his arms were so heavy he could barely move the knife, and he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to raise his glass to his mouth if he tried. He closed his eyes and sighed, taking the first bite of his delicious food.

It was cold.

He felt some movement and saw Leni and Lori sitting at each side of him.

"Thank you very much, Lincoln" Lori said, with a smile.

"It looks yummy" said Leni, tasting the mable syrup.

"It's cold" Lincoln muttered.

"So? It's still delicious."

"I just wanted to cheer you up", he confessed, leaving his fork aside and looking down. "I didn't mean to get them sad or upset."

His sisters said nothing. They kept eating almost for inertia, as if to have en excuse that could cover their lack of words. Finally, after an exaggerated long sip of coffee, Lori put her cup on the table and grabbed Lincoln's hand.

"They're not mad at you" she affirmed him, trying to look at his eyes. "Not with mom nor dad, neither. You know that, don't you?"

"Luna hugged you" added Leni, with the air of someone who gives the final argument in a debate.

Slowly, he nodded.

"They're just sad for… Well, for this whole thing" said Lori, almost in a whisper so no one would hear them.

"Yeah, I know."

Again, a new silence.

"Your breakfast did cheered me up" noted Leni with a smile.

"Me too" quickly added Lori."

"And Lily seems to like hotcakes and scrambled bacon."

Lincoln tried to smile, but the result was a sad grin.

"It's good to know that this morning was only eighty percent failure."

He tried to make it pass as a joke, but that only added to the failure rate. The rest of the breakfast was in the most awkward and complete silence.

* * *

"Stop!"

"No."

"You gotta listen to me!"

"No."

"You're wrong, you got it all wrong!"

"I don't want to hear any excuses."

"Come on, just listen to what I have to say!"

"No."

A hand grabbed her by the wrist and violently turned her around. The surprise only lasted for an instant, after which Ronnie Anne roughly freed herself from the grip. Having had enough, she threw her stuff to the floor and took two step forwards, leaving her face only five inches from the boy that had been bothering her since they entered school five hours ago.

"Look, I may have not been clear enough the last thirty thousand times I said this to you today, so pay attention 'cause I'm going to repeat it one last time: I don't care what you have to say to me, or what you've been told to tell me. I'm not interested in anything related with him. I don't even want to hear his name again. So leave me alone, mind your own business, and don't come close to me again."

Had it been any other boy, she would've grabbed him from the collar of his sweater just to send a clearer message. But only a look full of hate and a threatening tone were enough to deal with Clyde McBride. The boy seemed to be about to wet his pants, with his whole body shaking and his face turning pale. Ronnie Anne kept the cold eye contact for a while, and then she roughly turned around, hitting him in the face with her hair. She grabbed her school bag, her skate, and tried to keep walking to her house.

After walking a little more than three feet, however, she heard the sound of quick footsteps, and Clyde stood in front of her, open-armed, as if he really believed he could actually stop her.

Ronnie Anne was really tired. Last night, she had cried herself to sleep, trying to keep her sobs quiet so Bobby would hear her –she shouldn't have worried, he got home so tired from his night job that he didn't even check on her. She could only thing about what had happened in the mall that afternoon. A part of her was embarrassed for having misread Lincoln's intentions so badly, for believing he would want her as something more than a friend, for making herself a fool after telling him that she wasn't ready for a relationship when that's not what he wanted to ask her. Another part of her was completely furious for having witnessed that hug between him and Cristina. Because when the ginger arrived, Ronnie Anne didn't really believe that Lincoln could be dating her; she just said that because it was the perfect excuse to flee from there, to escape from that embarrassing situation she had put herself into. But as she ran to an exit, she started to think. Maybe it wasn't such a crazy theory after all. She turned around just in time to see the happy couple united in a warm, deep hug. And she felt furious. Deceived. How could Lincoln still feel something for Cristina? After the public rejection, after switching classes when that video went viral in the school? How could he still feel something for Cristina when he had her, Ronnie Anne? Hadn't that kiss in the fountain mean a thing?

And that final thought was all her heart could think of. She was sad. Very, very sad. Stupidly, she had taken for granted that she and Lincoln had something special going on. Their meetings, a couple of kisses, and she had already bought the Prince Charming fairy tale. She should've known that fairy tales were just that: tales. She realized that, unconsciously, she had already imagined that she and Lincoln would be together forever, growing next to each other, laughing together, going out more and more often as they became older and their parents would allow them to see each other as much as they'd like. Seeing Lincoln hugging Cristina that way was a hard take down to her illusions.

It was almost like a part of her had just died.

She'd been a fool to fall in love that way. Because yes, she had assumed it: she had fallen in love. It was hard for her to understand and accept it, because that was her first love and she had nothing to compare with to definitively say it was love, but now she was convinced. How could it not be? Why would it hurt so much if it wasn't love? She had fallen in love and she had suffered. Well, no more. If her skate had taught her anything it was that you don't stop when you fall and get hurt. You stand up, you get on your skate again, learn from your mistakes and keep going on. She was decided to move on, and the first step was pretty clear: forgetting Lincoln.

The fact that he wasn't going to school yet was a relief. She didn't really know why was that, since the day before he seemed to be in good health, but she didn't care. The less she had to see him, the better. But she had forgotten about Lincoln's shadow: Clyde. Since he saw her walking inside the school, he had been trying to speak with her. She had to give him credit: he was loyal to his best friend. He spent every minute of the day trying to speak with her. During recess she tried to lose him in the crowd. During lunch, she went straight to the library so he wouldn't find her in the cafeteria. During the last periods, she resorted to the always reliable girls bathroom, where he couldn't enter nor wait for her in the hall, which was strictly forbidden by the school's headmaster. It was a relief to hear the sound of the bell that indicated the end of the day, but she had barely walked out of the school when he ran into her once again.

Now she had him standing in front of her, stopping her from leaving. She didn't really like Clyde, in fact, she was still pissed off about the way he'd been bothering during her date with Lincoln at _Jean Juan's_. All this time, she had been standing him only because he was Lincoln's best friend, but now that he was out of her life, there wasn't any reason to keep pretending she liked him.

"Clyde, step aside."

"No!" Yelled the boy, staying right where he was. His voice sounded with confidence, but he was still shaking.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked, getting angry.

"Because Lincoln is my friends and he needs me! He's suffering because you didn't let him explain himself!"

"Explain?" She asked through her gritted teeth. "And what was he supposed to explain to me? How long he's been dating Cristina?"

"You're wrong. He's not dating her. He likes you."

"I saw them, Clyde. I saw when.."

"LINCOLN — DOESN'T — LIKE — HER!" He screamed, waving his arms in exasperation. "Why don't you get it?! Cristina only went to see him 'cause…!"

He couldn't end the phrase. She pushed him in the chest, and Clyde almost fell backwards. He stumbled until he got his balance again. He looked scared, but stayed in front of her anyway.

"Don't you scream at me again" she threatened him, pointing at him with a finger.

"You're acting like an immature child" he said.

She'd never seen a boy so scared in her life, but oddly enough, Clyde was still trying to stop her. It looked like he was collecting every ounce of courage that he could find in his heart just to stay there, facing her.

"I'm immature?" She said, wondering how come she hadn't punched two teeth out of his face already. "Let me ask you something, Clyde, why would a guy kiss a girl if he doesn't want to be her boyfriend?"

That seemed to take him by surprise. He sighed and opened his mouth to reply, but Ronnie Anne had spoken her true feelings for the first time, and she couldn't stop now.

"Why would he beguile me like that? Why would he play with my feelings?"

"He didn't… You don't understand. You don't know what's going on, what he's going through."

"Then tell me. What the hell is going on?"

Again, Clyde looked down at the floor.

"I can't. It's not up to me to tell you."

She silently glared at him, trying to scare him into talking, but Clyde was actively trying to avoid her gaze. After some seconds of tense silence, Ronnie Anne snorted. She fixed her bag on her back and started to walk, but he stepped in front of her again.

"Wait, please, just let me..."

She raised a fist as if to punch him in the face. Instinctively, Clyde looked turned his head and raised his arms to cover his face. Taking advantage of how scared he was, and the fact that he wasn't looking at her, she stepped over her skate and started to ride away from him at full speed, not giving him time to follow nor catch her.

She rode the sidewalks, dodging pedestrians and people taking their dogs for a walk, trying not to think. But it was no use. Ronnie Anne couldn't avoid feeling confused. What was Clyde talking about? He said that Lincoln was going through something. What did he mean by that? Would that be what Lincoln had tried to tell her? What she had misunderstood for a love declaration? She started to feel guilty. Maybe it was something important… No, it _definitely_ was something important. Something that Lincoln wanted to say to her, something for which he had taken her for a date. She felt guilty, but then she remembered Cristina, and she felt angry again.

Clyde had assured him that Lincoln didn't feel anything for Cristina anymore, though. But he was his best friend, what could he say? He would obviously stand for him, trying to justify him in any way possible. What she'd seen left no place for misunderstandings. She was a girl, and she had this innate ability to detect some things, and her sixth sense was telling her that the hug Lincoln had given to Cristina was a tender one, a hug of contention and protection. The kind of hugs a brother gives his little sister, or a boy gives to the girl he likes. As far as she knew, Lincoln and Cristina didn't have that kind of relationship before. Since that embarrassing video of Lincoln had gone viral, she hadn't seen them interact again. Since when was Lincoln in hugging terms with Cristina? Since when could he embrace her in such a tender way?

What hurt Ronnie Anne the most was the fact that Lincoln had never embraced her like that.

She was kicking the floor with fury, speeding up on the sidewalk until the houses at either side of her started to look more familiar, and she soon spotted her house in the distance. It was a pretty humble, one-story house, with three bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, a dining and living room. What she liked the most about her house was the backyard, where Bobby had built an improvised half pipe for her. She was pretty sure that that ramp wouldn't pass any kind of safety check, but she loved it anyway.

When she reached her home, she stepped out of her skate. She saw Bobby's disastrous car parked, so she knew that he was back from high school. Being Thursday, her father would be working 'til very late in the night, as usual, and Bobby probably had already found a new part time job, so she was facing a new afternoon alone in her house. Loneliness could be hard sometimes, but she was used to it. It's not like she could complain. Her father was doing anything he could to raise his two sons all alone, and Bobby's irregular income were essential to help them keep a balanced middle-class life. Still, she missed those afternoons when she could still play with her brother.

She took the key from her pocket and opened the door.

"Bobby, I'm home", she announced, throwing her bag in the couch. She heard some voices from the kitchen and rolled her eyes. Ronnie Anne hated when Bobby invited Lori for lunch at his house. It's not like she didn't like her… it's just that she hated how they were all lovey-dovey in front of her. Besides, she didn't really want to see her. It wasn't Lori's fault what had happened between Ronnie Anne and Lincoln, of course, but still…

Sensing that it would be rude to not greet them now that she'd announce her presence, she left her skate in the living room and went to the kitchen. She could see from the dining room that her brother was washing his face in the sink. Ronnie Anne raised an eyebrow. He seemed to be… crying?

"Bobby?" She asked, stepping inside the kitchen. Her brother quickly regained his posture and started to dry her face with his shirt's sleeve. He greeted her, but Ronnie Anne didn't answer.

Standing at the other side of the kitchen, it was the person she wanted to see the least.

"H-Hi", said Lincoln, with his hands behind his back, clearly nervous.

She said nothing to him. She turned around and glare at her brother.

"Why is he here?" She asked.

When Bobby finished drying his face, he ducked besides her, to be at her height.

"Ronnie, Lincoln has something to tell you."

"I don't want to listen to him. Tell him to leave" she said, like Lincoln wasn't standing six feet from her.

"Ronnie, he has something to tell you" he repeated, putting a hand on her shoulder. He took a deep breath, like he was trying to keep himself from crying, which confused Ronnie Anne. "And you need to hear it."

"But..."

"I'll leave you guys alone. I'll be outside."

Without giving her time to reply, Bobby stood up and walked outside. She said nothing. She simply turned around and walked away from the kithen.

"Ronnie Anne, wait" he called her, going after her.

She walked across the living room, entered the hall, passed in front of the bathroom door and went inside her room, closing the door behind her. Luckily, the door lock was still working, so she put it on and then sat in the floor with her back against the door.

" _Please_ " said Lincoln's voice from the other side. She didn't hear any attempt to move the doorknob, and she was kinda grateful for that. He couldn't have opened it anyway, but she appreciated the fat that he would respect the privacy of her room.

"I don't want to talk. I don't want to listen to you" she said, loud enough for him to hear her.

" _Look, I know you're upset. I just want to explain what really happened._ "

"I'm not interested. Go away."

She heard him sighing, and then silence. She would've loved to hear footsteps heading to the living room, but instead she felt something sliding down on the door.

" _I really need to tell you this_ ", he said in a low voice, " _but I don't want it to be this way. I want to look at you while I'm saying it. So I'm gonna stay here, waiting until you want to talk with me. I don't have plans this afternoon, so take all the time you need._ "

Ronnie Anne pressed her knees against her chest and looked down. She knew that Lincoln was sitting just like her, only on the other side of the door. Only one and a half inches of wood between them. She didn't want to talk with him. She was pretty sure that if she did, she would probably end up yelling at him, possibly hitting him, and she didn't want that. So she decided to do the simplest thing: ignore him.

The first five minutes were the easiest, and they were still endless for Ronnie Anne. She was sitting against the door in silence, waiting for him to be bored and to leave her alone (in the best case) or for him to get tired of waiting and to start speaking (in the worst case). But he didn't speak or move. He sat there, patiently waiting for her. For ten long minutes, Ronnie Anne tried to ignore him, until she couldn't take it anymore. With a swift move, she got up, unlocked the door and opened it ajar.

Not being waiting for that, Lincoln fell backwards as soon as the door was opened. He laid down on the floor, with his head next to Ronnie Anne's feet. Still knowing that she was mad, that she didn't want to talk with him, Lincoln smiled at her.

"You have one minute to speak before I kick you out of my house" she hurriedly said, to keep her from smiling back at him.

He stood up immediately, brushed the dirt out of her shirt and looked straight at the girl in front of him.

"Ronnie Anne, I know you're angry, but you got it all wrong."

"Fifty seconds."

Lincoln snorted and shook his head, slightly annoyed.

"Fine. I'll go straight to the point: there's nothing going on between Cristina and me. Yes, I used to like her. But you should know by now that I no longer have those feelings for her… I have them for you."

He gave her a tender smile, and Ronnie Anne look down, blushing. Taking that as a good sign, he took a step forward and tentatively raised his left hand, to caress her cheek, but she grabbed him by the wrist before he could touch her, and she glared at him with a look of anger and sadness. Lincoln felt a twitch in his heart when he realized that it was the same look Lynn had given him that same morning in the kitchen.

"You like me?" She asked, still grabbing his wrist.

"I, er… YES, yes, I like you! It's obvious that I like you!" He hurriedly said, feeling the pressure on his wrist.

"You made me look like a fool" she said.

"What? When?"

"I… I thought you were going to ask me to… you know… go steady..."

"Oh, yeah… that..."

Their eyes met, and they could read each other's feelings like an open book. Ronnie Anne's look was demanding a quick answer, and Lincoln's was desperately asking for a divine intervention to illuminate him and help him find the right words.

"You have twenty seconds left" she casually said.

"Look, it's not that I don't want you to be my girlfriend..."

"If you're going to give me some kind of ' _it's not you, it's me_ ' crap" she interrupted him, finally letting go her grip on his wrist, "keep it to yourself."

"But that's exactly what's going on! Listen, I really like you, you're such a cool girl, and I've been thinking on asking you to be my girlfriend for a while now!"

Ronnie Anne's heart started beating faster.

"Then why didn't you?" She asked.

"Because… Well, because I was scared, you know?" He admitted. "I've never asked anyone out like that. I was afraid you would tell me 'no'. And… Well, actually, you literally said 'no' to me even if I didn't ask you."

"You didn't understand me!" She complained, although a part of her felt suddenly guilty. "I… Actually, I… What I meant was… Look, I' sorry about that, ok? But… If you'd ask me now… I'd say 'yes' ".

It was extremely difficult for her to say that. She felt naked, like her whole facade of a tough girl had fallen apart, like Lincoln could now look straight into her soul. She felt vulnerable, unprotected and cornered. A fragile house of cards. Lincoln, meanwhile, looked stunned after hearing her say that. After processing them –which took his brain a lot of time–, his face went gradually from surprise to sadness, and then resignation. He lowered his head so much that Ronnie Anne could almost see his nape, and he whispered.

"Ronnie Anne… I can't."

Those two words blown the cards away the instant they were said.

"Why not?" She asked, frowning and feeling the corner of her eyes starting to itch.

"I just… I can't" he simply said, defeated.

Ronnie Anne took a step back. She bit her lower lip, and clenched her fists, feeling a tear running down her cheek.

"You're so stupid!" She yelled, furious. She felt betrayed once again. She'd been hating him for a whole day, suffering for feeling rejected. Then, for some precious seconds, she felt like maybe she had indeed misunderstood everything, after all. She felt like maybe there was a chance of them being together, but then he did the same thing he'd done the day before. He crushed her hopes once again. No heart should heart should be allowed to suffer that much.

"No, wait" said Lincoln, sensing that his prayers hadn't been answered nor his words had been the most appropriated.

"You can't even give me a reason?!" Yelled Ronnie Anne, interrupting him.

"It's not that simple" Lincoln said, trying to defend himself.

"You better make it simple then!"

"I'M DYING!" He finally screamed, giving her an intense and profound look. "I'M DYING, OK?"

"Oh, _you_ are dying? How do you think _I'm_ feeling right now?" She hysterically replied.

"No!" He complained, giving himself a facepalm. "No! Listen to me, I'm liter…!"

"Is it because you're embarrassed of being seen with me?" She suddenly asked, her eyes wide open, like she'd just experienced an epiphany.

"What? No!" Lincoln said, almost offended.

"Yeah, that's probably why" Ronnie Anne continued like she didn't hear Lincoln's complaining. "You're always embarrassed when someone sees you with me. What is it? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not girly enough for you?"

"Ronnie Anne, you're angry and you feel hurt, and I understand you" Lincoln started, speaking slowly and calmly, trying to lower the decibels of their argument, "but what you're saying doesn't make any sense. It's all rubbish, and deep down you know it."

"It's not rubbish" she said, with gritted teeth.

"If you'd just stop trying to be on the defensive all the time, you'd understand why you're acting like a jerk" he roughly said.

Ronnie Anne was trembling with rage. These had been the second worst twenty four hours of her life, and too many emotions were passing through her mind and heart. Anger, pain, anguish, sadness, love.

She was a tough girl who always tried to conceal her emotions under a masquerade of relatively violence and apathy. For a long time, that had been her own way of dealing with the pain, her way to move on after all she'd been through. It was the only world she'd known for so long, that she went straight back at it in that moment of pain and disillusion.

Lincoln couldn't dodge it. He didn't get to step aside, duck down or even get ready for it. Ronnie Anne's open palm hit him right in the face, and it made him tremble backwards. He took both hands to his face, pressing them against the place that was starting to ache. He closed his eyes and let out a groan of pain.

"R-Ronie Anne..." he said, feeling a burning sensation in his cheek.

"Go away" she said, with tears in her eyes.

"Please..."

"GO!"

He ran away. She heard him dashing through the living room and opening the front door. Ronnie Anne headed to her bed and laid there, with a pillow pressed against her face to muffle her sobs. She wanted to fall sleep right away. To sleep, so she wouldn't have to think, to keep herself from facing those feelings inside of her. She just wanted to escape her reality for a while.

"What happened?"

Bobby entered her room, and any chance of disappearing faded in an instant. Ronnie Anne rolled over her bed, turning to face away from him, while the pillow was still covering her face.

"Ronnie, what did you do to him?" Bobby asked, sounding worried.

She couldn't bear that tone nor that accusation. She just wasn't in the mood to let it slip. She put her pillow down and looked at her brother, not worried about the fact that he was seeing her cry for the first time in months.

"You should be asking what did he do to me" she said, looking at him with reproach.

Bobby sat on the edge of the bed, three feet from his little sister.

"Ronnie, why was he running away?"

"Because I hit him, that's why!" She said.

"You hit him?!" He said, startled. "Ronnie!"

"Why are you defending him?!" She said, grabbing her pillow and throwing it at his face. "I'm your sister, you should be defending me!"

"Didn't he tell you?" He softly said, his eyes filled with sorrow.

"Tell me what?" She said, annoyed. "The only thing he did was telling me that he doesn't want to go steady with me."

"Ronnie..."

He got closer to his sister. Twice he opened his mouth, but the words just wouldn't come out. Finally, he took a deep breath and spoke before he could change his mind.

"He's dying."

"What's that supposed to mean, anyway?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away. "He's sad? What happened? He got into a fight with one of his sisters? What do I have to do with…?"

"He's dying!" He interrupted her, covering his face with his hands. "Literally dying! That's why he went to the hospital, they found something in him! He's going to die soon!"

She opened her mouth and turned around to see her brother so fast she almost hurt her neck. She felt like someone was dropping a huge bowling ball inside of her. She felt a knot appearing in her stomach, and felt goosebumps creeping on her spine. She just stared at Bobby, trying to understand.

"That's not funny" she slowly said, trying to keep her breathing at a normal rate.

"I wish it was just a lie" he said, sobbing. "He only has three weeks left..."

He started to silently cry, leaving Ronnie Anne alone with her thoughts.

Lincoln. Dying.

It couldn't be. It couldn't be true. And yet… Things were starting to make sense. Lincoln wasn't going to school. Clyde was looking miserable. Cristina's uncle worked in the hospital… " _I can't ask you to be my girlfriend, not after..._ " It was like she'd been seeing it all through a translucent glass, catching the general shapes but not seeing it in detail, not seeing the full picture. Now that glass was gone, and she didn't like what she was seeing.

The news was left spinning around in Ronnie Anne's mind. She refused to believe it. Maybe for ten minutes, maybe for fifteen, but she felt like she stayed petrified in her bed, apparently listening to her brother. He was trying to explain what both Lincoln and Lori had told him, he told her everything he knew, but she wasn't listening. The only thing she could think of was that there had to be a mistake. She even went as far as believing that she might be dreaming. Maybe she'd fallen asleep right after Lincoln left her room, and this was just her subconscious playing her a bad joke.

But the pain inside her chest was too real to be a dream.

She couldn't stay there. Not after… after having slapped him. She stood up and Bobby tried to stop her, but she ran away faster than he could even try to grab her. She left her house without her skate; she forgot she had one. She knew by heart the way to the Loud house, and she ran all the way there without thinking. She ignored the pedestrians, the cars, and the aching pain she was starting to feel on her right side. She finally saw the roof and garden of a house full with toys, objects, kites and many other articles that only a toy store or a house with eleven kids could harbor. She only stopped when she got to the front door. She knew that she shouldn't press the doorbell unless she wanted to risk having an electroshock, so she banged at the door as hard as she could.

She used those few seconds of waiting to catch her breath and trying to suppress that pain she was feeling between her ribs. She needed to see Lincoln. She didn't know what she would say to him, she just knew she needed him.

When the door was opened, she felt a little disappointed to see that it wasn't Lincoln, but one of his sisters. She should've been expecting that, knowing that with so many sisters, the chances of one of them welcoming her were pretty high. She was a little surprised to see that the girl standing in the door was staring at her with fire in her eyes, like she was really angry about something.

"Hi, er- Luna, right?" She asked, trying to remember the name of the girl, but it was really hard to tell them apart, with all of them having names so similar.

"Lynn", she said, still looking at her with what was clearly despise. "You came here just in time, _Ronnie Anne_."

Ronnie Anne didn't like the way she pronounced her name, and she didn't understand what she meant with 'just in time', but she didn't have time to stop to think.

"I'm sorry. Listen, is Lincoln here? I really need to see him and..."

" _ **You**_ are not seeing or getting any closer to _**my**_ little brother" Lynn said, stepping out of the house and closing the door behind her, standing one feet away from Ronnie Anne.

"You don't understand, I need to…!"

"She got home ten minutes ago, with a bruise on his left cheek" said Lynn, clenching both her fists so hard her knuckles were white. "We forced him to tell us what had happened."

Ronnie Anne felt extremely guilty. Now that she knew the truth, she realized how wrong she'd been the whole time, and that she had been acting like a jerk, like a stupid. All because of some stupid jealousy, her anger and her sadness. Ultimately, because of her insecurities.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

"He told us what happened yesterday too" she interrupted her. "Do you really think Lincoln could be seeing two girls? That… That he would play with you like that and then run away with another?"

Ronnie Anne could only avoid the Loud girl's glare. There was no way of defending how she had behaved, and she was feeling more embarrassed of her behavior by the minute.

"I thought you knew Lincoln. He's the nicest and most caring boy in the world. He would NEVER do something like that. He's not that kind of boy" she was saying, as she started to blink faster and faster. "The rest of my sisters are still in his room, trying to calm him."

"Please, I know I was wrong, just let me in and..."

"No!" Yelled Lynn, stepping forward, leaving her face just a couple of inches from Ronnie Anne's. "You're gonna turn around and get the hell out of here. And you'll _never_ touch my brother again, do you understand? Get out of here."

Ronnie Anne knew exactly what game was Lynn Loud playing. That expression, that body posture, that attitude. She was trying to intimidate her. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't the kind of girl you could intimidate just like that.

"Or what?" She coldly replied.

"Or I'll punch you so hard in the face you're gonna have to make a visit to the bathroom before you can pick up your teeth."

"Big words for such a runt" she slowly said, through gritted teeth.

Lynn shoved her with roughness, making her stumble until Ronnie Anne caught her balance just in the edge of the ladder.

"Get out" Lynn repeated once again.

Ronnie Anne frowned.

"I want to see him. I didn't know what he's going through."

"Well, you ought to listen to him next time he wants to talk with you!" Lynn yelled at her. "Now go back to your own house, Santiago!"

"No!"

And to show how serious she was, Ronnie Anne took off her purple hooded sweatshirt, remaining with her white t-shirt with the _Santa Cruz_ words written in yellow letters. Lynn snorted and started to adjust her wrist brace.

"Let's go to the grass. It's dangerous here with the ladder" she said as she pulled up her sleeves.

Two minutes later, Lynn and Ronnie Anne were rolling in the ground, trying to push each other away, and taking every opportunity to connect a nice punch to the other one's face. After a good right jab from Ronnie Anne, Lynn ended up lying with her back on the ground. Ronnie Anne stood up and literally jumped over Lynn, but she managed to put her feet on Ronnie Anne's abdomen and pushed her away. By the time the Santiago girl managed to stand up, Lynn was already waiting for her. Looking for a surprise attack, she ran straight into her and tackled her to the ground, starting a new fight of grabs and grips.

As the front door opened and a little over half a dozen voices started to scream for them to end the fight, Ronnie Anne reached to the conclusion that she was clearly in disadvantage. They might have almost the same height, but Lynn was two years older, and it showed. She was clearly stronger, she seemed to know some advanced techniques and blocks, and the blows didn't seem to hurt her as much as they did Ronnie Anne. But she realized something else, too. Even in the adrenaline of the fight, she noticed that Lynn was crying. The tears were falling slow but clearly. She also realized that even if the fight was _definitely_ serious, Lynn was making some mistakes someone as evidently advanced as her shouldn't be making, such as dropping her guard at the wrong moments, not taking advantage of some spaces Ronnie Anne accidentally left… It was like her mind was somewhere else.

And Ronnie Anne understood her. She understood what Lynn was going through, because she was going through the same: they were punching the frustration out of themselves. Every blow was one burden less, and every punch they received was an analgesic to their soul, for it was easier to deal with physical pain.

Lincoln's sisters were still begging them to stop, but no one dared to get close to separate them. They were both standing on their feet, keeping some prudent six feet between them. They seemed to be waiting for the other one to make a move. Needing a new relief, Ronnie Anne stepped forward and throw a punch. Lynn dodged it and tried to counterattack, but Ronnie Anne was already expecting that, so she blocked it and attacked once again. She punched Lynn right on her stomach. Lynn managed to pushed Ronnie Anne away long enough to catch her breath. When she looked up, she seemed to be even more angry than before.

She slowly walked closer, with her guard up. Ronnie Anne tried to hit her, but Lynn grabbed her by the wrist. She dodged Ronnie Anne's crossed hook and hit her right in the ribs. As the Santiago girl let out a cry of pain, Lynn punched her twice in the stomach, and finished with a right hook to her chin.

All the girls let out an audible "uuuh" when they heard the sound of the punch hitting Ronnie Anne. She fell backwards, trying to get her lungs to remember how to breath, while her ideas were trying to find their correct place inside her head after that blow. The only thing she could hear was someone screaming her name, louder every time. Or maybe closer. She opened her eyes when Lynn grabbed her by the collar of her t-shirt. She lifted her a couple of inches from the ground, and raised her fist, ready to strike again.

Ronnie Anne closed her eyes and just readied herself for what was about to come, but she heard a commotion and suddenly, Lynn was no longer grabbing her by the collar. She opened her eyes once again and saw Lincoln hugging his sister from behind, trying to keep her from moving towards Ronnie Anne.

"Let me go!" Lynn complained, trying to take Lincoln's hands off her, but evidently fearing to accidentally hit him, since she wasn't moving with much decision.

"Lynn, please, drop it!"

"She slapped you first!"

"Please!"

"Lincoln, let me go!"

"Do it for me!"

Those four words seemed to anesthetize Lynn. Ronnie Anne saw how she lowered her arms and relaxed her muscles. Looking at Lincoln over her shoulder, Lynn stopped struggling. Feeling her doing it, Lincoln's grip started to tentatively loosen up, until he finally could release her.

"Thank you" he said, gently caressing her arm.

"She doesn't deserve you" she simply said, giving Ronnie Anne one last look of despise.

Next thing, she stood up and walked away.

Lincoln bent down near Ronnie Anne and help her get up. Still a little dizzy after that punch in the head, she let him carry her. Slightly supporting herself on him, she let him take her inside the house, up the stairs and inside his room. He laid her on his bed and asked her to wait a minute. She simply nodded, still trying to understand what was going on.

When Lincoln left and closed his bedroom door behind him, Ronnie Anne started to understand where she was. She'd never been in Lincoln's room. It was as small as he always said. Just one bed, a desk/wardrobe, some toys and a couple of posters in the walls. She saw Ace Savvy's logo, a SMOOCH poster, some from a movie she didn't know…

Ignoring the pain she was feeling in her stomach, she jumped on her feet. In one of the walls, there was a giant hand made calendar, along with pictures from all of his sisters and some written sheets of paper. At the top of one of the sheets, it read: Operation Farewell, in big red letters.

She started to read what was written there, desperately looking for something that would tell her that it was just a lie. _Ask Mom to help me write a book, Help Luna to write a happy song, Tell Dad the truth about who broke his disco ball (me)_. Everything she read made her feel even worse. It was a bucket list. She started to feel dizzy again, but not because of the punch. She kept reading. Except for tasting a new kind of burger, there wasn't really anything for Lincoln in that list. Why not ask to go to Disneyland? To travel to Europe? Or ask for new clothes? A new bike? To go to the Super Bowl? Everything on his list was sharing something with someone else. With his sisters, mostly, but also his parents, with Clyde, even…

She stretched her hand to touch the paper. With trembling fingers, she touched the line upon which there was written _Kiss Ronnie Anne one more time_.

Lincoln opened the door and stepped inside his room, carrying with him a little bag of ice. He stopped dead on his tracks when he saw his friend crying in front of his new calendar and his bucket list. When he closed the door, Ronnie Anne turned around. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and then she saw that his left cheek was still a little red. Her sobs became louder.

"Ronnie Anne..."

Lincoln stepped closer and offered her the ice. With her shaking hands, she grabbed it, but instead of putting it against her chin, she threw it to the floor. Ice couldn't help her with the kind of pain that was really hurting her. She put her arms around Lincoln's neck and hugged him tight. He embraced her too, and leaded her to his bed, so they could sit and be more comfortable. Ronnie Anne flooded Lincoln's shoulder with her tears, as she repeated over and over again how sorry she was, but he didn't care. He was just gently caressing her back, telling her that everything was going to be alright.

Letting her know that he was there for her.

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _I want to say a few things:_

 _First, I'm kinda disappointed that there was so many people who thought that last chapter was going to be the end of the Ronnie Anne/Cristina/Lincoln arc. I'd like to believe that, after ten chapters and over 70K words, I've shown you that if this story has something, it's planning. Like, it has a lot of grammar and spelling issues. But allow me to say that this story's plot has been revised over and over, and I believe it's pretty solid. So no, I wouldn't dare to introduce something like a love triangle or a fight and leave it like that. I mean, have a little faith in me! Hahaha._

 _Second, thank you very much to whoever made a TV Tropes page for this story. I don't really know if it's really a big deal or what, or if I should be proud or something. But it's really funny to read all the tropes I've used so far, hahaha. But I need to say: someone made an analysis on Lynn that, although pretty interesting and solid, it's not really what's going on inside her head. Just so you know. Oh, and I don't know if there's a trope for this (there probably is), but I'm kinda disappointed that no one made a list of Luna's musical references. I mean, there are quite a few. BUT, I think it's better if you wait three more chapters to make it, so you can have a lot of references._

 _Third, and related with the second point, I want to thank you all for what this story is becoming. 300 reviews in 9 chapters, a little over 200 followers and almost 200 favs, over 62.000 views and 4 fanarts. I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS._

 _Finally, from now on, we'll have chapters were Lincoln will have some personal moments with different chapters, specially his sisters. So, if you LOVE Luan, then next chapter will be for you. If you think Luan's MEH, then next chapter will change your mind. And if you HATE Luan like I do, then I can assure you that next chapter will taught you how to love her as much as I've learn to love her in my headcanon. And after that…! Well, better not spoil anything._

 _UnderratedHero, out._


	11. The best medicine

_One week later I'm here, once again. This chapter is… weird. Special, but weird. A lot of things to say. Several deleted scenes. A lot of little clues planted here and there for what's about to come. You gotta read between the lines._

 _My eternal gratefulness to all of you, my readers. Specially, as always, to those of you who left your reviews. By now I don't really know what can I say but thank you. Thank you all. Your reviews are like a ray of sunshine in a cloudy day(?) Ok, no, but I love reading your reviews._

 _Thanks to: **Omega Ultra, littlealexmartinez61910, Emperor of Performances, Thunderstrike16, Codymitchell1, Slop The 3rd, Boris Yeltsin, BoukenDutch, FanficFan920, ImpossibleJedi4, ExMarkSpot, D-Structs, celrock, Grim-XIII, Mew Shadowfang, jellyhill, MikeTheHuman113, Jazz, ElectricLoud, LoudSin, Gumball2, d felipe76, MistyWolf322, 123456789, Secret life of writing, TexasGunKing, Samstastic 3,0, endeavor-NeverEnding, The Wannabe WriterOriginal, HtfLover,** **FrofreeTrush, erica phoenix16, GreatBeast455.**_

* * *

.

.

 **Chapter 11:  
** **The best medicine.**

.

" _ _Laughter__ _is the sun that drives winter from the human face_ _"  
_ **Victor** **Hugo**

.

Lori was knocking on the bathroom's door, telling her that they were going to be late for school, but Luan decided to ignore her. She kept staring at herself in the mirror, finishing the last touches on her mime makeup. At first, it was enough to just delineate her eyelids and add some details around her eyes. The minimum amount of makeup, just so people would get that she was in her 'mime mode', though the outfit itself should be an obvious give away. However, just a few days after she started embracing her mime-self, she was needing a lot more makeup to hide her tell-tale eye bags. Luna still believed that Luan was the first one to fall asleep and the last one to wake up. She probably thought that her roommate was the one getting the most sleep this days.

She couldn't be more wrong.

She suited her beret and looked at her own reflection. Mimes usually wore white make up as a base for their faces, so the black details would be accentuated. She never used it, since she thought it was such a cumbersome preparation. But seeing her pale face in the mirror, she now could see the beauty of the contrast. She slowly turned her head from one side to the other, partly to check that her make up was good, partly just so she could play for time. She stared at her own face in the mirror, black and white. Luan took a deep breath and tried to relax. She tried to clear her mind, to stop thinking about everything. She just wanted to concentrate in what she was about to try.

Seventeen. Just seventeen…

Finally, psyching herself up, she tried it one more time. Two seconds later, her hand hit the wall. She couldn't believe it, she couldn't bear a new failure. She had to stop herself from letting out a cry, and she started to breath with some difficulty. She couldn't ruin her makeup, not now.

Lori banged the door once again, demanding her to get out of the bathroom and going into the family van, where they were all waiting for her so they could go to school. Luan didn't answer. She waited twenty seconds so she could regain a neutral expression, and then she finally left the bathroom. Lori didn't say anything to her. She just walked behind her as Luan grabbed her school bag and stepped downstairs. As she was going down the stairs, she heard Lincoln speaking with their mother.

"It's not a novel really, it'll be more like a… Some kind of diary, you know?" He was saying, sitting next to his mother in the sofa.

"And you…?" She started, with her fist against her mouth, trying to keep her composure.

"I know what I want to say, but I'm not that good with words. That's why I want you to help me, Mom, so these ideas on my head can be written. Like, well written."

Luan stopped in the last step. They hadn't seen her yet; they probably believed that they were all in the van already. She started to think about what Lincoln had just said. Was he trying to write something?

"Luan, we're late" Lori told her, impatiently.

Lori's voice alerted Lincoln and Rita about their presence, and they both turned around to look at them. They seemed to be surprised, and Lincoln looked somewhat scared. She understood that it was probably something he wanted to keep as a secret, so she silently kept walking out of the house and into Vanzilla.

She sat on the last remaining seat. It clearly wasn't the sweet spot, but whatever disadvantage her seat had, she didn't acknowledge it. Next to her, the twins were arguing about which was Blarney's best song. In the back, Luna was drumming the car window with her knuckles, trying to come up with a rhythm. Evidently, neither she or Lynn had won their argument with their parents about not wanting to go to school. Luan had taken advantage of the discussion to grab the breakfast that Lincoln had prepared for her, and headed straight to her room. She could barely taste it, because not only she had been losing her appetite lately, but also Luna came banging into their room, followed by her mother. Luan didn't want to speak with anyone, so she took her makeup and went to the bathroom.

Truth be told, she didn't want to go to school neither. High school was hell already for her, and everyday felt like a little torture. This last week, however, had been much, much worse than usual, and there was nothing that could make her think that things were going to get better anytime soon. In fact, they were all heading to the worst possible outcome…

She rested her head against the window and closed her eyes. Vanzilla was the most uncomfortable vehicle in the world, a real insult to ergonomics. She was so tired, though, so exhausted and in need of a little rest, that her eyelids had barely touched each other when she fell asleep.

* * *

" _Lori! Leni!"_

 _The sharp voice of a little boy echoed across the house, which was practically silent. From downstairs, she could hear the sound of the child opening the doors of every one of his sisters rooms, and then closing them without caring about all the noise he was making. Luan Loud was sitting in the couch in front of the TV, watching her favorite movie. She turned her head around, her eyes fixed in her parents bedroom. Her mom and little Lucy were taking a nap there, and Luan was afraid that the sound of the doors would wake them up. Her mother was exhausted, and the last thing she needed was having to deal with a crying ten-months-old baby._

" _Luna!" The little voice kept calling, clearly not knowing the situation of the house._

 _Carefully, Luan stood up. She fixed her yellow dress with her hands, and went to the stairs. When she got there, she saw that her little brother was already trying to go downstairs. She could tell that he had just woken up from nap, since he was wearing his orange pajama and was carrying both his blanky and Bun-Bun. He was stretching to reach the stair railings, and he was going one step at the time. His little face of concentration was absolutely adorable in Luan's eyes._

" _Need some help, Linky?" She softly said, only loud enough for him to hear her._

 _He looked up and his face shone with excitement when he saw his sister._

" _Luan! Luan!"_

 _He just stood in his place with his arms up, the unequivocal sign that he wanted her to lift him up in her arms. She was happy to oblige. She climbed up the stairs until she was just one step down from him, grabbed him by his armpits and gently lifted him. He wrapped his arms and legs around her, like a koala baby, resting his head on her shoulder._

" _Mom and Lucy are sleeping, so we need to whisper" she said, as she walked to the couch once again._

 _She sat in front of the TV, still carrying Lincoln._

" _Were are they all?" He then asked, his face a little worried. "There's no one in the rooms."_

" _Dad and the girls went to the mall. I wanted to stay and watch 'Finding Nemo'", she said, pointing at the screen showing two clownfishes in the big blue sea._

 _He didn't say anything. He made himself comfortable on his sister's lap, and held Bun-Bun tightly against him._

" _Are you alright, Linky?" Luan asked, sensing that there was something bothering her little brother._

" _I had a nightmare" he whispered, choking Bun-Bun with his hug, his little eyes twinkling with fear. "I wanted Lori or Leni to tell me a bedtime story, or Luna to sing me a lullaby, but they're not here."_

 _Luan felt like a failure. Lincoln was scared, like any four years old boy who had just woken up from a nightmare, and he needed someone to calm him down, to reassure him that everything was going to be alright. But none of the persons who could help him were there. Their mother was sleeping, and his father and the rest of the girls were in the mall. The only one who was there for him was Luan, and unfortunately, she didn't know how to cheer him up. Lori and Leni would tell him one of the many stories they knew by heart, Luna would sing him a tender lullaby, even Lynn would manage to convince him that nothing could happen to him as long as she was there to keep him safe from everything, and she would probably lay besides him and they could nap together._

 _But Luan didn't have Lynn's temperament, and she didn't know any story to tell him, nor any lullaby to sing to him. She had no talent or ability whatsoever that could help him right now. The only thing she could give him was her company, hoping that it could be enough._

" _It's alright, Linky, you're with me now", she said, embracing him. "Look, 'Finding Nemo' is about to end. Do you want to see 'Tarzan' with me afterwards?"_

 _She knew that Tarzan was both Lincoln and Lynn's favorite movie, and the two of them would always end up playing like they were apes, and the house was their jungle. She was pretty sure that would cheer him up. Indeed, the mere mention of the movie made Lincoln smile. He still looked a little upset, but it was a beginning._

" _Okay" he said._

 _Luan shifted him a little, so he could sit more comfortably in her lap. He had just the right height so she could watch the movie over his white hair. In the movie, Marlin, Nemo's dad, was finally telling his joke._

" _...so the sea cucumber turns to the mollusk and says 'With fronds like these, who need anemones?' " he said, and the rest of the fishes started to crack up._

" _I don't get it" said Lincoln, frowning at the screen. "What's so funny about that?"_

" _Well, we don't hear all the joke", said Luan, shruggering it off, "but it was just a pun."_

" _What's a pun?"_

" _It's a play of words. When words sounds similar, but they mean different things, and it's funny because it kinda makes sense in both ways."_

 _Lincoln turned around and stared at her with confused eyes._

" _What?" He said, clearly not understanding her._

 _Luan sighed. She wasn't the best at explaining things either._

" _I mean, like Marlin's joke. The real phrase is 'with friends like these, who needs enemies', but since they're underwater, he says 'with **fronds** like these, who needs **anemones** '. Get it?"_

 _She could see through her brothers eyes. She saw the engines working together, trying to decode the joke. When he finally understood it, his face was completely shocked for a moment, completely stunned, like he'd just found a hidden treasure. And right away he let out a chuckle, showing his big smile with a missing teeth._

 _Hearing him laugh was a big relief for Luan._

" _I get it!" He said, chuckling a little more. "Do you know another pun?"_

 _Luan's mind was trying to remember. She didn't really know any jokes, that was her father's hobby. She tried to think about any joke that she'd heard in the school, in TV, but she couldn't remember not a single one. She looked at her brother. He was waiting for a joke. He wanted to laugh. She wanted to make him laugh. Then she saw Bun-Bun, and an idea struck her._

" _Lincoln, do you know why Bun-Bun's never hungry?"_

 _He looked confused and stared at the bunny. With an innocent smile, he said he didn't._

" _Because he's always STUFFED! Haha, get it?"_

" _Yes!" He said, starting to clap and chuckling a little more. " 'Cause he's a stuffed animal!"_

" _Exactly!"_

" _Another, please, tell me another!"_

 _Now she had something going on. It wasn't really that hard to make a pun. You just had to think with a different perspective. She started to think about a new joke to say to him. She was no clown, but… Clown… That was it!_

" _I held a door open for a clown the other day, you know why?" She asked, with a big smile._

" _W-Why?" He said, laughing in anticipation._

" _Because it was a nice JESTER! Hahaha, get it?"_

 _This time, Lincoln couldn't keep his volume down, and Luan had to cover his mouth with her hand to muffle his laughter. He realized that, and he tried to shut himself up, but he couldn't stop laughing. Luan was fascinated. She had never cracked a single joke, so she didn't really know that magnificent sensation of making other people laugh. It was something that was making her feel proud, it made her feel happy. She needed to keep him laughing, she needed to come up with a new pun. She started to think._

 _What did they have for lunch?_

" _Hey, Lincoln, listen up" she said, starting to laugh before even telling her joke. "What…? What d-does…? Pff… What does a s-sausage says when — when it wins the race?"_

 _He started giggling too, seeing how his sister was reacting to the joke before even finishing it. He was starting to get hyped up._

" _I-I don't k-know" he answered._

" _I'm a WIENER!"_

 _He opened his mouth as wide as he could and started cracking up. She couldn't resist the urge and started laughing too. They tried to keep it quiet so they wouldn't wake their mom, but were failing miserably at it. Seeing each other trying to stop laughing and failing at it made them laugh even more. In a couple of minutes, they were both rolling in the carpet, their faces red and with tears falling down their cheeks. They reached a point where they had no more air in their lungs, and that struggle to breathe only kept making the situation worse._

 _While doing an inhuman effort to sit up and catch her breath, Luan realized something: her little brother had the most beautiful laughter in the world. It was almost melodic, a series of sharps sounds of happiness that suddenly made her feel the utmost joy. She had just made him forgot about his nightmare. She turned to look at him. He was lying on the floor, tangled in his own blanky, with his hands on his stomach, laughing loudly. There was not a hint of worry on his face. If that wasn't happiness, then Luan didn't know what it was. All she knew was that those silly puns had made her little brother happy._

 _She'd had to come up with some more._

* * *

"Here we are."

Lori's voice and the van suddenly stopping woke Luan up. She sat straight and looked through the window. They were in the school's parking lot. She realized she'd fallen asleep, and she tried to remember if she had dreamed about something. She kinda believed she had, but all she could remember was an angel laughing. Not giving it too much thought —she was always dreaming with laughs—, she got out of the van along with Lynn, Luna, Leni and Lori, and the five Loud sisters started to walk to the school.

"Babe!"

The distant figure of Bobby Santiago became larger and larger, until he was received with a big hug by Lori.

"How are you?" He worriedly asked, as soon as they ended their embrace.

"I, er… You know… Terrible" she finally admitted, hiding her teary face in her boyfriend's torso.

"Oh, babe..."

The couple stood in the middle of the parking lot, trying to comfort each other, and the rest of the girls decided to keep walking. They'd be late to their classes if they didn't hurry, and none of them really wanted to stay there, watching their older sister breaking down just before entering school. They didn't want to go through the same. The four of them continued walking, until a group of girls wearing t-shirts from different European soccer teams started to call Lynn's name, waving their hands. She sighed, bid goodbye to his sisters with a ' _Later_ ' and she went to join her friends, walking without any kind of enthusiasm. Some minutes later, some girls wearing skirts, long boots and shirts from their favorite bands approached them, grabbed and practically dragged Luna to the music room, talking about a new amplifier that was "absolutely rad".

And then there were two. Luan and Leni kept walking side by side. Their classrooms were in the other end of the school, and the bell would rang any minute now.

"Luan, you're not making many jokes lately, aren't you?" Leni casually asked as they strolled by the cafeteria.

Luan didn't answer. Dumb, moony Leni. Why was she like that? Why couldn't she just ignore her like the rest of her sisters? Why was she so forthright? Sometimes, Luan lost her patience with Leni. Right then, however, she kept her composure and remained in silence.

"You know, I'd like to tell you something" said Leni, lowering her voice a little, like she was ashamed of what she was about to say. "I know I never laugh at your jokes. No one does, because they all, like, think that they're pretty bad and totes annoying."

Luan clenched her fist. What was she trying to do? To make her cry in the middle of the school?

"But I don't. I don't laugh because… Well… 'Cause I don't understand them. I know that you're always asking if we get them or not, but it's embarrassing to admit that I'm the only one who doesn't understand them" she confessed, sounding disappointed with herself. "I always try to remember them, though, and when we're alone, I ask Lori to explain them to me. And I think that you're totally funny. Maybe the rest of the guys don't like it too much, but I think it's cute that you're always trying to make us smile, specially when we need it the most."

Luan started to walk a little faster. She wanted to reach her classroom and go inside it as soon as possible. Her eyes were starting to itch, and she wasn't really looking forward to ruin her makeup with her tears. Leni definitely had no sense of timing whatsoever.

Luckily for her, she didn't need to make any maneuver to get away from Leni. As soon as they got to the most crowded part of the high school, boys from all ages started to surround them, trying to see Leni, offering to carry her books, her bag, and even herself to her class. Taking advantage of the crowd, Luan started to walk away from her sister.

On her flee, a boy a little older than her bumped her in the shoulder.

"Watch where you're going, _nutso_ " said the boy, glaring at her with scorn, before resuming his way.

Luan also kept walking. "Nutso". He was in the basketball team, then; they were the only ones who called her like that. The football teem called her "the Loud freak" and the lacrosse team just referred to her as "that mad girl", while the rest of the school just knew her as "the Lame-puns Loud". She didn't care anymore. She was beyond that. They could call her whatever they wanted. If she let them get to her, then they'd win. So she simply ignored them all.

Everyday.

* * *

The school day went, amazingly enough, without any incident. No one told her to shut up, no one threw her books to the floor as she was walking between classes, and none of her sisters tried to make her speak. Apparently, many things could be avoided when you just kept your mouth shut the whole time and had your lunch in the library. The only thing she couldn't avoid were the funny looks, the snickers and the mumbling people started to make when they saw her dressed as a mime. But then again, she was used to it. People laughed about her looks all the time. Apparently, it was a crime to not wear short skirts. And her buckteeth and braces weren't exactly the latest fashion trends. She had it assumed that she wasn't as pretty as her older sisters. It didn't hurt her to be reminded of it.

Everyday.

Everywhere she went.

She texted Lori, telling her that she'd be staying in school after classes so she could study with a friend. Lori told her that it was okay, and wished her luck, but they both knew that Luan didn't have any friend to study with. Lori knew it was just an excuse because Luan didn't want to go back home in the family van. Instead, when the school day was over, she decided to walk her way home. It was a longer trip, but it would allow her to catch some fresh air, distract herself, and delay her arrival to her house. She didn't want to be there. Why would she want to be there? Just to be reminded that soon enough things would never be the same?

But she lived there, so it wasn't like she could avoid it forever. She eventually got home, and just in time for the drama. She had barely left her stuff in her room when the entry door was suddenly opened, and someone climbed the stairs in a stampede, startling her.

" _Lincoln, what happened?!_ " Said the loud and extremely worried voice of Lori, coming from downstairs.

Luan's heart stopped itself for a couple of seconds. She bolted out of her room just in time to see Lincoln going inside his own. She thought she heard some metallic noise, but she didn't give it much thought at the moment. The rest of the girls arrived seconds later, the elders with worried faces.

"Dude, are you okay?!" Asked Luna, banging his door.

" _I'm alright… It's nothing_ " he said, trying to reassure them that he was okay, but they could hear that he was in pain, and it looked like he was crying.

"Lincoln, I'm coming in" said Lori, trying to open the door to the linen closet.

But no matter how hard she turned the door knob, she couldn't get inside his room.

"Lincoln! Did you put your bed in front of the door?!"

" _Mom bought me a new spare key_ " he simply said.

All the girls exchanged a confused look. Lincoln had lost the key to his bedroom some years ago while he was home alone, and because of that he'd been locked inside his room for hours, until someone came back and found him. As a punishment, his parents had forbidden him from having any kind of lock to his room. All his sisters were pretty happy to be able to go inside his room anytime they wanted, and they stomped his privacy practically all the time. Evidently, Lincoln had talked with his parents and asked them to make him a new key. What was he hiding in his room?

"Lincoln, open your door" Lori sternly said.

" _I can't._ "

"Lincoln, open your door or I'll let Lynn tear it down."

" _No! You can't come in!_ " He yelled from inside his room. " _I'll tell you what happened, but you can't get in here!_ "

Lola and Lana started to protest, but the five older sisters understood that if Lincoln didn't let them in, then he probably had a reason. Maybe it was related with the secret they all had to keep.

The rest was history. He told them about Ronnie Anne, about everything that had happened between him and her the day before and that very morning. He didn't say that he wanted to tell Ronnie Anne about him dying. Instead, he just said that he wanted to invite her to a video-games convention. The twins and Lucy seemed to buy his lie. As they heard him, they all started to hate Ronnie Anne a little. How could she think that Lincoln could do something like that? Why wouldn't she listen to him? When they heard someone knocking on the door, they send Lynn to see who it was.

Big mistake.

After the girls fought each other, Lincoln took Ronnie Anne to his room, and he stayed there for the rest of the afternoon. They were all curious to know what was going on inside there, but Lori strictly forbidden anyone to spy on them or to try to hear what they were saying. Luan left them alone. She secluded herself in her room, since Luna was busy in the garage playing her guitar. She just sat there and turned on her computer. She checked her notifications, and found out that she had five new followers in her YouTube channel, "Luan Out Loud". She also checked her Facebook, send Lola those five lives she needed for Candy Crush, and also read a message someone had left on her 'Funny Business' Page.

Some lady was interested in hired her services for her son's sixth birthday party next Sunday. She was apologizing for calling with so little anticipation, and she was offering to pay a little extra money for the inconvenients. Luan looked at the boxes where she kept all her jokes equipment. She needed to replace the Magic Set she had gotten for Christmas, and her unicycle wheel needed some adjusts. She could really use some money. But she took her reputation and her work very seriously, and she would never accept a job if she wasn't convinced that she could give her best. So, before accepting the job, she had to try it again.

She walked until she stood before the full length mirror she and Luna had in their room. She took a deep breath and tried to focus.

Seventeen.

Since her whole life was about trying to make people smile, she had researched a lot about it. Seventeen were the muscles needed, according to several studies, to smile. The body needed six muscle groups so the mouth could turn into a smile. But you needed at least five more muscles so the smile could reach the eyes. That was the key to tell a genuine smile from a fake one. The eyes. It was something that could not be faked.

So she focused and tried to think about happy memories. She tried to remember her first performance in front of an audience, in her first viral video, the first check sent to her name. Those were thoughts that usually made her feel proud and cheered her up. She tried to picture herself smiling, she concentrated with all her might. When she opened her eyes, she tried to make her face turn into an honest smile, and then she looked at the results in the mirror.

She immediately wrote back to that woman, apologizing for her full schedule and recommending her Giggle's services.

She spend the rest of the afternoon on her bed. She just stepped outside of her room to have dinner. Supper, just like this last few days, was pretty much silent. Her parents tried to talk with each one of the older sisters, asking about their days, but no one wanted to talk, and they were tactful enough to not pressed them. They didn't want any new fight or outburst. One by one, they all finished their meals and left the table, going to their rooms. Luan was the first one to get up, and went straight to her bed.

It was half past eight. Luna would come any moment now, would play with her guitar until nine o' clock, she would lie on her bed and twenty minutes later she'd be asleep. She needed to wait just one hour. An hour that would feel like an eternity, and during which her worst thoughts would take the best of her.

Luna entered their room about ten minutes after Luan. As soon as she closed the door behind her, she let out a big sigh and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and pressing a hand against her chest, in the place where her heart was. Luan was lying on her bed looking at the wall, but she could still see Luna out of the corner of her eyes. She knew Luna and the rest of the girls who knew Lincoln's condition were suffering it just as bad as she was. She knew that they were all pretending to be fine on the outside. But in the privacy of their own rooms, where their little sisters couldn't see them, they all allowed themselves to break up, to let the pain take the best of them. Pretending that it was all good consumed too much energy. They had to repress so many tears, they had to hide too many emotions.

Luan had an easy way out. As long as she was wearing her mime makeup, none of her sisters would be wondering why she wasn't speaking, or why she was looking so sad. They'd believe it was all part of her performance. In fact, they'd probably be grateful, for they no longer had to bear with her puns. She pictured the twins, talking in their room about Luan's sudden silence.

"Why do you think she's acting so weird?" Might ask Lana.

"Who knows? Maybe it's some dumb mime contest" Lola would answer her, uninterested.

"At least we don't hear her bad jokes all the time now!"

"Ugh, totally. It was time for her to shut up."

And they'd both be laughing with relief. When they were little, the twins enjoyed her jokes a lot. They used to found her puns pretty clever, really entertaining. Luan started reminiscing about those times when her family still enjoyed her jokes. She could remember all her younger siblings cracking up, her older sisters trying to hide their laughs. But mostly, she was thinking about Lincoln. Him, the one for whom she had started her way into comedy in the first place. Her only brother, her shining little star.

Luna turned off the lights on the room. She took her guitar and sat in a chair next to the window. Luan was still looking at the wall, but she could picture her sister's silhouette being lit by the light coming from the street. When she started to hear her playing some chords, Luan closed her eyes. Luna was her closest sister, she loved her and while she wasn't really fond with music, she loved hearing Luna playing her guitar or any other instrument. She was her number one fan, and any melody played by Luna was a melody Luan enjoyed. So as the music started playing and her sister started singing, Luan tried to stop thinking about anything else.

 _I know it's late but something's on my mind  
_ _It couldn't wait, there's never any time  
_ _'Cause life slips by without a warning  
_ _And I'm tired of ignoring  
_ _All the space that's between you and I_

When Luna started playing ballads made by a Canadian rock band, it was safe to assume that something inside of her was falling apart. Luan noticed the feelings with which Luna was singing, she pain with which those words were leaving her mouth. She could also feel the subtle difference in her strumming. She wasn't energetically hitting the strings, she was instead letting her hand fall down by her own weight, slowly moving her fingers to play her favorite instrument. She was making mistakes, messing up the rhythm at different parts, having to take small but perceptible fractions of seconds to make it right again. It wasn't common for her to make that kind of mistakes, and it was terrible for Luan to hear her like that. To know that her sister was hiding her pain behind those songs, trying to keep it cool.

Because even if it was a slow, sad song, Luan knew very well that Luna was holding her emotions back. If she really wanted to cry, if she was really looking for a catharsis, then she had the songs to do it. The music she'd been playing these last few days were just a facade. A masquerade to disguise her pain.

She wanted to stand up, embrace Luna and cry along with her. To use her shoulder as a place to let her pain flow through and out of her in the form of tears. To take that weight off her shoulders. But she didn't do it. She kept staring at the wall, trying to not think, to silence that annoying cricket in her head that was telling her that she didn't have to suffer alone, that her night escapades were just making her feel more miserable. She tried to shut it by focusing on what her sister was still singing.

 _Let's dance around this bedroom  
Like we've only got tonight  
Not about to let you  
Go until the morning light  
You can be my whole world  
If I can be your satellite_

When she played the wrong chord at the end of the chorus, she stopped her strumming. Luan waited for her to resume playing the song, but she could only hear Luna's sobs.

"I can't do it… Why can't I do it?" Luna depressively wondered, in a whisper so low that Luan could only catch it because the house was exceptionally silent.

She knew what she was feeling. She was having trouble playing her guitar. It was practically an extension of her body, and not being able to control your own body was a horrible sensation that Luan was starting to get familiar with. After all, she had lost the ability to control those damn seventeen muscles…

"I can't do it anymore… I can't..."

Luan heard her sister grabbing her guitar again, and Luna started playing some new chords, this time more slowly.

 _Now I can't sing a love song  
_ _Like the way it's meant to be  
_ _Well, I guess I'm n_ _ot that good anymore  
_ _But, baby, that's just me  
_ _Yeah I, will love you, baby_

She raised her voice to sing, and Luan heard the heartrending sound of a voice trying to remain normal but staggering with the unmistakable effort of trying to stifle a sob. A detune that did not hurt the ear, but the heart.

 _Always  
_ _I'll be there, till the stars don't shine  
_ _'Til the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme  
_ _I know when I die you'll be on my mind  
_ _And I'll love you, always_

That last word could barely be understood, since Luna finally broke down and started to cry in silence, letting her guitar fall to the floor, not worried about any scratch it might cause on her favorite instrument. Luan understood her. Nothing really matter anymore, it was all worthless, she could feel it too. She suddenly didn't care about her prank toys, her fake spiders, Mr Coconuts. She could sell it all, she could lose it all, and it wouldn't affect her in any way. There was only one thing right now she wouldn't trade for anything… Except, of course, for her little brother's life. A treasure that was the reason behind her insomnia, the reason why she was waiting for Luna to fall asleep. It was her only gateway in this perverted situation they were all into, the only reason she hadn't fall into madness yet.

For some solid fifteen minutes, the room remained in the dark, with only Luna's soft whimpering interrupting the monotony of the silence. Finally, she hear the wardrobe door being opened, and her older sister dressing into her pajama. She heard her footsteps getting near their bunks, but instead of going up her own, Luna knelt down right next to Luan's.

"Luan, please, talk to me" she asked in a whisper.

Luan continued staring at the plaster of the wall.

"You're not the only one that's torn apart, sis. I'm falling to pieces too. And seeing… To see you like this… This ain't you. This silence, this… This apathy… I'm losing my little brother" Luna finally said, and both her body and voice trembled while she said so, and her eyes started shedding tears over her sister's bed. "I can't lose you too. Please. I-I could… I couldn't stand it."

She felt a hand on her shoulder, pleading her to turn around. She was asking for a hug, a shoulder to cry upon. And maybe she could give her that. But she was also asking her to be the same as always, to be the one that she was before all of this started, and that she couldn't do. She placed her hand upon her sister's, gently squeezing it. Luna looked up, finally getting a reaction from Luan for the first time since that fateful Monday, three days prior. But when she gently pushed her hand away from her, and moved closer to the wall, the wannabe rock star felt a new emptiness in her stomach.

"I get you" she whispered, hurt by seeing her sister like that. "I understand that this is your way of dealing with the pain. Just… Just know that when you need me, I'll be there for you."

She carefully jumped to her bunk bed. Luan heard the springs on the mattress, adjusting to the new weight. For some seconds, nobody said anything. Then Luna spoke once again, and by her tone and rhythm, Luan knew that she was quoting a new song.

" _No more worries, rest your head and go to sleep. Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream._ "

She wished she could believe it.

* * *

A new nightmare woke Lincoln up near midnight.

Sitting on his bed, with sweat running down her forehead, he quickly placed a hand over his heart, trying to ease it. It was beating so fast, one part of him was terrified that it was because it was about to fail and kill him. He sat there, almost sure that any moment from now his sight would be misted, his body would stop answering and he would fall face down to the floor, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel while a choir of angels escort him beyond there. But nothing happened, and when his brain finally woke up, he realize that his heart was beating so fast only due to that nightmare that had awoken him.

He laid his head on his pillow and tried to took a deep breath. He tried to keep it cool, but he started sobbing, feeling like he was about to cry. Every night was worse than the previous one. During the day, he managed to keep himself busy, doing all sort of things that kept him from thinking in all the things he was going through at the moment. For example, that Thursday had been one of the most interesting days he could remember ever living.

It started off with that fateful breakfast that was his first misstep in his Operation Farewell. Lynn and Luna having a fight with their parents, Lola and Lana fighting each other for practically nothing, Lori and Leni trying to cheer him up with no success… After that, though, he spent the whole morning along with his mother, both of the trying to come up with something like a book.

To call it a novel would be exaggerated. It was some kind of… memories. Comments from Lincoln about how was it like to be in a family like his. They had managed to write three chapters, each one of them focused on a different aspect that came along with living with ten siblings. Each one of them had a title that, Lincoln thought, was both pretty clever and a great summary: _"Space Invaders", "Hand Me Downers"_ and _"A Tale of Two Tables"_. They all started with some variant of the phrase _"In a family as big as mine..."_ , and Lincoln always tried lo leave some kind of moral at the end, some review about what he'd learned from his personal experience and thanks to his sisters. It might've been a nice and trouble-less morning, had it not been for the fact that they had to stop for a while every twenty minutes or so, when his mother started to cry, and Lincoln could only stay there, hugging her, trying to calm her down, and every once in a while, crying along with her.

After lunch, he gone straight to Ronnie Anne's house, trying to fix things with her. He got there early and was received by Bobby, who had just arrived from High School. When Ronnie Anne got home, things soon got tense, and he ran away after she yelled at him and slapped him hard on his face. But his afternoon didn't end there: a little after that, Ronnie Anne went to see him (after Bobby broke his promise and told her about Lincoln's condition) and she had a fist fight with Lynn. The sound of his sisters screaming had alerted Lincoln that something was going on, so he went downstairs to see what was happening, just in time to see his sister and his friend going hard at each other. He managed to ease Lynn just in time to keep her from seriously hurting Ronnie Anne. When he separated them, he felt that Lynn was mad at him for some reason. He knew that there was something bothering her, but Ronnie Anne was wounded, on the ground, and he took her to his room.

He spend the rest of the day right there, lying on his bed with Ronnie Anne. For almost two hours, he just embraced her. He hugged her tight while she cried. There was no point in telling her not to cry, he knew that it was asking too much. In these last few days he'd learned that people who loved him would inevitably cry for him, they'd be mourning for his loss. There was nothing he could do to keep them from that pain. All he could do was to try and prepare some kind of consolation, to leave them enough memories to remember him, and to help them find, between all that sorrow, an ounce of hope, the sensation that not everything was lost. That he was still there with them. It wasn't just to help his loved ones to be a little less sad: if he succeded, Lincoln could also end his fear of having achieved nothing during his life, he could die knowing that at least his time on this world had not been in vain.

When Ronnie Anne stopped crying (mostly due to the fact that she had ran out of tears), they started a whispering conversation that lasted hours. Ronnie Anne apologized in every single way that both English and Spanish offered her. She said she was sorry over and over and over and over again. She was sorry for not having listened to him, for nos paying him attention, for being a fool, for assuming the worst, for not having believed him. And he forgave her everytime. He forgave her for everything, letting her know that none of it mattered, but his forgiveness didn't seem to be enough to help her ease her conscience. She started to speak, telling him everything she had been keeping for herself all this time. She told him about all his fears. All her insecurities. She explained with passion and full of details everything that she thought about him and their relationship, making him blush more than once. He also told her everything he liked about her, and they spend hours getting to really know each other, knowing that facet that they tried to conceal from everybody else, those secret thoughts they kept for themselves.

The emotional wearing from that afternoon was so bad that, after Ronnie Anne left his house, he had supper and then he immediately headed to his bed. He tried to sleep, but in the solitude of his room, with nothing to distract him and nothing to keep his mind occupied with, his thoughts were unbearable. He just couldn't think about nice things. He couldn't put his mind blank. Everytime he closed his eyes, he started to think about what was about to come, and that kept him awake.

Right then, after his nightmare, he knew that it would be almost impossible to fall asleep right away. Not only because he was agitated and covered in sweat, but also because his mind was starting to think about all the things he wanted to forget. Resigning himself to another damn restless night, he figured he could at least go take a shower and clean himself a little.

He took his towel, some fresh clothes and he stepped out of his room. As soon as he entered the dark hall, he notices a dim light that was coming from beneath Lisa and Lily's bedroom door. He curiously went to check where was that light coming from, and quietly opened the door.

"Lisa?" He softly called, poking his head inside the room. "Are you awake?"

He didn't want to wake Lily up. She was sleeping quietly in her cradle. His attention went automatically to the computer screen, the source of the light. He then checked Lisa's bed, empty and unused, without a four years old girl sleeping there. Worried, he looked around the room, until his eyes finally saw a figure in the dark. It was Lisa, lying on the floor, still with her day clothes and using an open book like a pillow. Lincoln sighed and dropped his stuff on the floor. As he was approaching his little sister, he looked at the computer again.

SYNTHESIZING ENZYME: 62% COMPLETED

He stopped on his tracks. Synthesizing? He had read too many comics to not recognize that term. Could it be that…? No. No, he couldn't allow himself to even think that. He should have no hope. He was going to… It was happening. He had to accept it.

Being extremely careful, he lifted his younger sister. She moved slightly in her sleep, but he cradled her on his arms and shoosh'd her. It worked. She stopped moving and snuggled herself in his arms with a smile. Lincoln went to her bed and sat on it. Very delicately, he removed her glasses and put them in the nightstand. He also took her sweater, leaving it in a chair nearby. He laid her on her bed and tucked her in. Lisa mumbled something about the properties of magnesium, but she remained sleeping.

Lincoln remained in her room for some minutes, staring at Lisa. He stroked her hair, trying to not wake her up. She had tried to keep herself asleep, probably doing some researches and trying to find a cure for him. He'd decided to let her work on it, because he knew that Lisa wouldn't be able to live with it if he denied her that opportunity. But if she couldn't cure him… He didn't want to imagine her reaction.

Wishing to end this night as soon as possible, he took his stuff again and went straight to the bathroom, looking forward to a hot shower.

* * *

After a ten minutes shower, Lincoln was walking his way back to his room, hoping to be able to catch some more Z's that night. But when he walked past the stairs, he thought he'd heard a noise. He stopped there and looked downstairs. Everything seemed normal, but he was definitely hearing something. It looked like voices, but the sound was too low for him to understand it. Maybe it was his parents. But what were they doing awake at this hours?

He could've ignored it, headed straight to his room, lay there and forget about everything, but the tumors that were killing him had granted him an ADHD. So he started to climb down one step at a time, trying to make zero noise so he wouldn't be alerting his parents or whoever was there. It was a hard task, considering the pathetic state of the wood steps, but he was a master of stealth. He finally reached the entry hall, feeling like a ninja. Now that he was there, he could see that the TV was on, and someone was sitting in the couch, with a blanket covering her.

It wasn't his parents, so it had to be one of his sisters. He was about to call her, just to see who she was, but he decided to not let her know he was there. Yet. Knowing that the carpet would muffle the sounds of his steps, he walked glued to the wall, trying to get behind the couch. When he got a little closer, the TV light illumined a big brown ponytail.

Luan.

Lincoln stopped in his place. Since her last visit to the hospital, Luan hadn't spoke with him. As far as he knew, actually, she hadn't spoken with anyone. Their only words so far had been a rough accusation delivered at Lynn, from which the sporty girl seemed to still resent. He saw her wearing her mime makeup all day long. From all his sisters, she and Lynn were the only ones whom he hadn't spend any time so far. He'd found some moments to talk with Lori and Leni. Luna would knock on his door to see how he was doing, although she didn't stay for long. His younger sisters were still trying to play with him and asking him to intervene in any argument, as always. But his two immediately older sisters seemed decided to avoid him. Lynn was doing it actively, keeping her distance and asking him to leave her alone. But Luan… She was simply gone.

He stifled a sigh so she wouldn't hear her. He had to speak with her. He had his theory about what was going on with her, and he knew what he could say to make her feel better. It was the perfect opportunity: no one could bother them, they had the living room all for themselves, they could have a private chat. It was a good thing that she'd stayed awake doing… What was she doing?

He finally looked at the screen and was kindly surprised at what he saw. He was watching himself, a couple of years younger, wearing a cowboy costume, running on the backyard of his house, chasing Lynn and Luna, both of them dressed like Indians. They were making some Sioux war cries as they ran around the tree, with their plastic tomahawks in the air and the feathers on their hairs moving with the wind. Lincoln had a toy gun in one hand, and a lasso in the other. He was making gunshot noises and was constantly throwing his lasso at his sisters, hoping to catch them, but the two of them were moving gracefully, avoiding him while laughing. He was laughing too. He looked adorable.

Lincoln remembered those days. He was nine years old at the time. His father had finally bought him the cowboy costume he so desperately wanted, and just so his sisters wouldn't get jealous and they could all play together, their mother had prepared them some indians costumes for all of them. They spend months playing cowboy vs indians, until they eventually got tired of the game.

" _We need backup!"_ Yelled Luna on the video, raising her tomahawk like she was making a summoning.

Appearing out of nowhere, Lola and Lana tackled Lincoln from behind, taking him to the ground with them.

" _We got him, we got him!"_ Yelled both twins, seizing Lincoln's arms as he tried no escape.

" _Let me go, you savages!"_ He complained, although with a smile on his face.

Lynn and Luna soon went to help their little allies, and the four of them soon managed to tie Lincoln with his own lasso.

" _He's ours now!"_ Yelled Lana, victoriously. All the girls starting making the ritual dance of victory, which consisted in them moving around Lincoln doing little jumps and raising their arms on the air.

" _Get away!"_ He complained, trying to free himself from his own rope. _"Stay away! You'll give me girl cooties!"_

All his sisters froze in their place.

" _You have nine sisters, you can't be worried about girl cooties"_ said Lola, matter of factly.

" _Oh, I think he's not worried about the cooties we can give him by touch"_ said Luna, with an evil grin.

" _Yeah, he's worried about the cooties we can give him by hitting him!"_ Added Lynn, tenderly caressing her tomahawk.

" _No"_ , Luna stopped her, kneeling next to her brother's head. " _There's something Little Lincoln is not immune from yet:_ _kisses_ _!_ "

And, she quickly gave him a peckon his forehead. Lincoln giggled, but he immediately closed his eyes and started to roll in his place.

" _Don't do that!_ " He said, but he turned his head to his side, giving Luna better access to his right cheek. Luna quickly planted a kiss on his cheek, and she chuckled at his fake cries of pain.

Soon the twins took Luna's place, filling Lincoln's face with little kisses, and even Lynn did her part, while they all laughed at the way Lincoln was screaming, saying that it was burning him.

The real Lincoln, the one from the present, smiled at the sight. Sometimes he missed the innocence he had when he was a little younger. That video brought him back memories that he thought were forgotten, and he felt a nice sensation on his chest, like he had just finished drinking a cup of hot chocolate during a cold winter afternoon.

However, the warmth that filled his insides vanished as soon as he heard Luan crying. Her sobs were muffled, like she was pressing a pillow against her mouth, but she couldn't completely conceal her sounds, just like she couldn't hide how much her shoulders were shaking with each sob. Lincoln tentatively took a step forward, but then Luan stood up and went to the videocassette. She took out the tape and replaced it with a new one that she grabbed from a box that Lincoln didn't noticed until then. She sat on the couch again, not looking back, not realizing that Lincoln was there.

This tape was much more recent, and Lincoln recognized it immediately. It was a recording from one of the birthday parties where both Luan and him had performed as 'Funny Business'. The video showed Luan trying to make a joke, but then Lincoln appeared out of nowhere and slipped on a banana peel he had just thrown there a couple of seconds before. With his dumb fall, all the kids started to laugh. It was the first time that Lincoln could see Luan's face as he, acting like an immature child, was trying to steal the spotlight. She was clearly upset, she didn't like it at all.

And the real Luan, sitting on the couch, started whimpering louder, covering her face with a cushion and letting her tears fall without a worry. Lincoln could stand it no longer. He walked around the couch and sat besides his sister.

"Luan", he called her.

She jumped at both the sound of his voice and the new weight on the couch. Her whole body started to shake, and for a second, she stopped crying… and breathing. She slowly started to push down the cushion that was covering her face, revealing some hair locks that had escaped her ponytail, but most importantly, revealing a couple of eyes that broke Lincoln's heart in a thousand pieces. Not just because tears kept falling from them, but because it was painful to see those eye bags and all that tiredness.

"Luan", he repeated, not knowing what to say.

His sister's lips started to tremble, and she just put her knees against her chest, and hid her head between her arms, like she was trying to make herself as little as possible and disappear. He tried to get closer to her, but she moved to the other side of the couch. He sighed. He needed to think what to do. His eyes rested on the box full of tapes. He grabbed it and peeked inside, to see what it had. There had to be over fifty tapes, and they were all about him. _"Lincoln's Birthdays", "Lincoln playing with his new kite", "Lincoln's Mischiefs vol. IV", "Lincoln singing", "Lincoln breaking stuff", "Lincoln apologizing", "Sleepy Lincoln: Adorable Edition"…_ He turned to see his sister, and he realized what she was doing down there this late in the night.

He took the kite video and put it on. After he hit 'play', he sat on the couch again, leaving a space between Luan and him.

The video showed a six years old Lincoln running in the park, trying to lift an orange kite in the air. There wasn't anyone else in the frame, and all they could hear was his little child giggles, having more fun than ever. He saw Luan looking up at the TV, but he didn't want to bother her yet. He waited a couple of minutes, and when she started sobbing again, that was his cue.

"Did you recorded all of this?" He slowly asked, pointing at the box full of tapes.

Without looking away from the TV, Luan nodded.

"It's a lot of tapes. Many hours of recordings" he commented.

She nodded again.

"Is that… Is that all you got of me?"

Silence. A few seconds of silence. And then:

"No."

"You have more?"

"I-I have… At least s-six more boxes", she finally admitted, in a shattered whisper.

He raised his eyebrows, impressed.

"I didn't know you had that much tapes. You have something like that for each one of us?"

Luan moved on her seat, suddenly uncomfortable, and her arms embraced her knees, holding them tightly against her torso.

"Y-You… I don't have s-so many from the r-rest of the g-girls..."

"Why?" He asked, leaning in her direction.

New tears started to fall from Luan's eyes. Her whole body was shaking as she started sobbing, trying to find her voice.

"Because I love you more, you doofus!" She finally said, keeping her eyes closed, trying to keep the tears locked there. "Because you made me who I am! Thanks to you I found my purpose!"

A small part of him felt really flattered that her sister would say something as nice as that. But it was impossible to be happy for more than a second. Seeing her crying like that, he could only feel miserable.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I didn't… I had nothing", she started to explain, but it was hard to understand what she was saying as she sobbed and breathed with her mouth. "I couldn't sing, I wasn't good at sports, I wasn't pretty… And then one day I made you laugh, and… And I… I realized I had a gift. I could make people laugh. You helped me realized it. You inspired me. And now… Now you… You're..."

She exploded in new cryings, and Lincoln wondered how could it be that their parents were not being awoken by all that commotion in the living room. He opened his mouth, but then Luan kept talking.

"You going to die! You're my little brother, and you're dying! And I… I can't go on with this! I can't make people laugh! How could I? How could I even try that, if the laugh I love the most is gone?" There was a long pause, in which she tried to keep speaking, but her whimpering didn't let her speak clearly. "I… You… You shouldn't die! Why you? Precisely you? Our only brother! It should… It should've been one of us girls!"

"LUAN!" Screamed Lincoln, not believing what he'd just heard. He didn't care if he woke up his parents, if he woke up his sisters, or if he woke up old Mr Grouse.

"I should had been me!" She continued mourning.

"Luan, shut up!" He said, standing up and walking until he was in front of his sister. "Don't say that!"

"Y-Y-You're special… You a-are… We need you..."

"I'm not any more special than any of you!"

"You're our brother, out only brother… No one else could stand us all. Lori is the only one who can control us, Leni is the kindest girl in the world, Luna, Lynn and Lucy are so talented, Lana can fix anything, Lola wins every beauty contest she's in, Lisa is a genius, Lily would probably be great at whatever she does..."

"And you're an amazing..." started Lincoln, but she didn't let him finish.

"And I'm just a joke. A jester. I can only make jokes, and be there for people to laugh at me. _At_ me, not _with_ me. I'm the school freak. I have no friends. I'm a loser, a useless, worthless fourteen year old girl, and if someone in this family should die, then it shoud've been..."

It sounded worse than it actually was. The echo resonated in the living room walls, but Lincoln was sure that his little slap hadn't caused any real pain to Luan. He just wanted her to shut up, and he made it. She was looking at him startled, with a mixture of surprise and a little fear in her face.

"Luan, I don't want to hear you saying that ever again" said Lincoln, calmly but sternly. Since he was standing in front of her and she was sitting, they were eye-level with each other, so he gently put his hand on her cheeks, slowly caressing them, using his thumbs to wipe her tears. "I don't want you to believe any of those things you just said."

She opened her mouth, but the words wouldn't come out. He continued speaking.

"You're wrong, you're absolutely wrong if you believe that you're just some kind of… walking joke, or something like that. You're much more than that. You're a girl who never gives up. When you have a goal, say, like pranking someone, you won't stop until you get what you want. You've won more trophies than a normal person could ever dream of having. You say you're not talented? You surely master over fifteen disciplines! You can juggle, you can ride a unicycle, you're a ventriloquist, you're a great mime, you're a great stand up comedian… I mean, you even have engineering capabilities to prepare your most advanced pranks!"

"B-But..."

"Not only that. With only fourteen years old, you earn more money than many teenagers with half-time jobs. Your Funny Business is a success in the own, and your YouTube channel has over fifty thousands followers."

"That doesn't..."

"But most importantly", he interrupted her again, "you're my sister. My big sister. And every single time I have ever needed you, everytime I was feeling bad, sad, sick or worried, you've been there for me. You always cheered me up, and you always made me smile when I needed it the most. That's exactly why I love you… why we all love you. Because you're much more than a jester. You're happiness. You're joy. Some say laugh is the best medicine, and you're our best doctor. You should never stop laughing. Never stop bringing joy wherever you go."

Luan kept crying, her eyes unable to see anything else but Lincoln. He tried to keep his composure, to look determined so there wasn't any doubt that he was being completely honest. He truly believed every word he said, he wasn't just trying to make her feel better, and he wanted her to know that. He tried to keep himself serious and determined, but the corner of his eyes were itching, and he had to start blinking rapidly to keep himself from crying along with his sister.

Luan's arms let go her legs and she tentatively draw them close to Lincoln. They stopped mere inches from him, like she was afraid to hurt him if she touched him. He just smiled and caressed he cheek where he had weakly slapped her. After that gesture, she lost any restrain. Her arms surrounded Lincoln and pulled him closer. She sat him in her lap and embraced him with all her might and started to cry, louder than ever, letting her head rest upon his. Her right hand was gently stroking his white hair.

Lincoln let his emotions get the best of him. He wrapped his arms around her (which was actually really difficult to do, since he was facing her sideways and he could barely move between her loving arms) and allowed the tears to finally leave his eyes.

"I'm sorry", Luan cried. "These days… I've been avoiding you because… because I didn't want the girls to see me cry, and I… I can't… Everytime I see you..."

"It's okay… It's okay" he assured her, wiping his tears with her blouse. "I should've talked with you sooner. I had no idea you… you thought all those things about yourself. I should've seen it before, I could've..."

"Stop it", she said, holding her tighter against her. "Stop blaming yourself for everything. You didn't do anything wrong. You… You're..."

She couldn't finish the phrase. She just kept embracing him, caressing him, loving him. And the message was delivered.

"Lincoln..." she started, trying to find the right words to express herself. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, really sorry for everything I've done to you."

"What are you…?"

"My pranks" she said, painfully sobbing. "I've crossed the line too many times. I've embarrassed you, I've made you feel bad, I've… For crying out loud, I've hurt you!"

"Luan, you don't have to..."

"I always thought it was funny" she interrupted him again, "but now… Now you're… You're going to d-die… and I can't stop thinking that the only thing I've done with you for the last couple of years was trying to prank you. I mean, not only you, the whole family, but you… You're… and I can't fix that. I can undo all these years, I won't… I'll never have that!"

She pointed at the TV, and Lincoln turned to see what she was talking about. It was still the kite tape, but Lincoln wasn't alone anymore. Leni and Lori were with him. Lori was running with him on her shoulders as he tried to raise the kite, and Leni was running under it, saying words of encourage to the kite, telling it that if he wanted, he could reach the moon. The three of them were smiling and laughing, without any worry in the world.

"I don't have this kind of moments with you" Luan said, going back to her full crying mode. "I was always the one recording. I have dozens of tapes about you having fun with all our sisters. But not even one with me. And I… All I ever did was bother you and our sisters with my stupid puns, making you hate me, and… and… I don't what to do..."

Lincoln listened to her carefully. He knew that she was telling him some of her worst fears, the things she felt and that she was always trying to keep from them, so he let her take those things out of her chest, he let her speak her mind. But she was wrong, she was terribly wrong, and he couldn't let her believe those things.

"Luan, we don't hate you. And you don't bother us, how could you even think that?" He said, turning his head so he could stare at her in the eyes. "You could never bother us. Like I said, we all love you. It's just..."

When she heard that _'it's just',_ Luan hold her breath, and her eyes, blurred behind the tears, were staring at him with fear, preparing for the worst. That scared him, but it also gave him the courage he needed to cheer her up. He hate to look in her sister's eyes and see even an ounce of pain. He loved her, and he would do anything to make her smile.

"It's just that we've gotten used to you. You have made us laugh so many times, for so many years, that not only you've raised the bar, you have us already used to you coming up with a pun or cracking a joke at any moment. We've kinda lost out ability to be surprised by your comedy. I mean, think about your YouTube channel: fifty thousands people watch your videos and have fun doing it. And what about your Funny Business performances, even the adults laugh! That's because you _are_ funny, you're very funny. You don't generate that effect on us because we already know how awesome you are at coming up with a new pun, so we're not surprised anymore. Think about the rest of our family, no one bats an eye when Lynn comes home with a new first place trophy, or when Lola wins a new contest. You see what I mean?"

Luan slowly nodded, and tried to divert her gaze to the floor, but Lincoln didn't let her.

"Luan… Maybe… Maybe it'll be good for you if you… if you, kinda, you know, cut us some slack with your jokes and pranks" he said, trying to sound kind.

"Y-Yeah.." she said, with only a string of voice. "I… I promise I won't do any more..."

"No" he suddenly told her, "I didn't mean that. Never stop being funny and making jokes, it's what you like, and no one can ask you to stop doing the things you love. What I'm trying to say is… Every once in a while, you should leave your pranks aside, and you should try to spend more time with our family. But not as Luan "Out" Loud, the great comedian. I mean as Luan, my funny, caring, beautiful big sister. The one we all love."

She let out a moan and once again embraced her little brother.

"Gosh, I love you so much" she told him.

"I love me too."

Slowly, Lincoln looked up, smiling at Luan. His sister's face was priceless. Even with the tears in her cheeks, that look of utter surprise was wonderful to Lincoln's eyes. For a couple of seconds, it was like Luan's mind was working hard, trying to figure out if she'd heard well. Had her brother just cracked a joke? In such an intimate moment?

"Get it?" He smirked, provocatively.

She stared at him for a few seconds, and finally, her face remembered how to smile. She let out a little chuckle, trapped in the middle of her crying. He started to giggle too, happy for seeing his sister smiling once again. Both of them kept laughing for a while, until she calmed down. She was still crying, but Lincoln had the impression they were no longer tears of sadness. They were tears of happiness.

"I definitely love you, Lincoln", she said, catching her breath.

"And I love you. Definitely."

"Can…? Would you sleep here? Bunk in the couch with me?" She asked, blushing a little. She hadn't slept in the same bed as Lincoln in years.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now."

She lied down on the couch, and Lincoln lied in front of her, in fetal position, letting his sister wrap her arms around his chest. After they put the blanket over them, Lincoln felt her hand looking for his. He placed his hand over hers and softly squeezed it. Feeling his sister's breathing on his head, he sighed out all his worries for the moment.

He thought of telling her about some of his projects for Operation Farewell, mainly the ones where she was involved. One of those ideas was extremely important, and would require them working together as soon as possible. But Lincoln, oddly enough, found himself with the nice feeling of not wanting to think to much.

Embraced by his sister, he let his body relax, and in a few minutes he entered a peaceful dream.

There were no more nightmares that night.

* * *

.

 _I'd like to say that what you've just read it's not all there is to tell about Luan. Every sister will have her own chapter, but their development it's not limited to what happens in said chapters only. This chapter let us have an introspective look inside Luan's character. We learned about her motivations and a little about how her mind works. Lincoln has managed to calm her a little, but this doesn't mean that from now on she'll be the same Luan we all know, the one she was before this incident. There are a lot of things that she'll have to learn before this story ends._

 _Next chapter will be focused on a sister whose hair's not blonde. Five options, then. I'll try to have it as soon as possible, obviously, but I don't think I'll be able to keep my promise of a chapter once a week. As you can see, these chapters are really long. If I was just doing the spanish version, then I could have one chapter every week, but translating them it's taking me longer and longer as the chapters become more complex and long. I don't know if I've been improving or if I'm actually making more mistakes, but it's getting harder everytime, haha. Not only that, but it's also pretty exhausting to keep up with this rate._

 _I don't know, some people can write great chapters in very shorts amount of time. I guess I may need a little longer. But don't worry, I don't think I'll ever need more than 2 ½ weeks for a new chapter._

 _I think I'll write a Christmas One-Shot too. I'll let you know. And… Oh, yes. I think I should let you know we're about 55%-60% done with this story. Expect about 10 more chapters, give or take a couple._

 _Again, thank you all. This story is for you. See you later!_


	12. Nobody's fault

_Jojojo, Santa Claus is coming to town, and he brings you a new chapter for this Christmas!_

 _Also, I just published a Christmas One-Shot in spanish, but I don't think I'll be able to finish translating it tonight, and since tomorrow's Christmas Eve and all, I'll probably have finished in english between Christmas and New Year._

 _I just want to say something before we start, and I'll make it quick, since the chapter is already pretty long._

 _It's about last chapter. There were some reviews about Luan and the backstory I gave her in this story. Like I said a few times before, that's my headcanon for her, and you can of course have another idea of her, about her friends and social life. We all have different interpretations of the characters (specially when we don't have that much background info on them), and I think it's totally okay if you don't share my same views and you have totally different opinions. And when she told Lincoln that she "Loves him more" than the rest of his sisters… Well, I don't underestimate you guys (although I did left all subtlety with the symbolism about monuments and all that), and I'm pretty sure that you all understand that what a character says it's a consequence of a lot of factors: the context, said character's emotional state, whatever is happening at the time, who said character's talking to… Not everything a character says it's true._

 _But, if you need a "Word of God" here, then I believe that Lincoln is everyone's favorite brother… since he's their **only** brother. It's a different kind of attachment than with the rest of their sisters, he's special. I think "One of the Boys" showed us that they all care about him a LOT. That's my opinion._

 _But anyway, do not take what a character says like it's an absolute truth. For example, in this chapter a character is lying, and if you pay attention, there's something that completely gives it away that he/she is lying. But I won't be telling you "HEY, LOOK, THAT'S A LIE, BECAUSE WHAT HE/SHE SAYS HERE CAN'T BE POSSIBLE SINCE...", no, I'll let you do the detective work. It's pretty evident, though._

 _Like I always say, thank you all for following this story so far. I'd like to thank **Omega Ultra, Veni Vidi Vici 34, CapitalClassShip, Boris Yeltsin, shadowprove97, Zach the Red Raider, Thunderstrike16, littlealexmartinez61910, MikeTheHuman113, celrock, FanficFan920, UnpopularToaster, Codymitchell1, D-Structs, Mew Shadowfang, Darth Atrox, ericaphoenix16, ExMarkSpot, BoukenDutch, venomsdragon14, ElectricLoud, GreatBeast455, ImpossibleJedi4, HtfLover, Dannith, Unknown Russian, Secret life of writing, musicpetal, thehardboiledhit, Shigiya** (what song would that be?), **Hatoralo, Jazz, Samtastic 3,0, Purple, Hex, Grim-XII, Jack of harts, Demonsrun11, Chuglife** and those anonymous **guests**!_

 _Man, judging by your reviews, a lot of tears were shed last chapter!_

 _So here we go! All aboard the feels train!_

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 12:  
Nobody's fault.**

 **.**

"Son."

Lincoln grunted something incomprehensible and snuggled a little closer to that comfortable pillow that enveloped him. He was feeling warm, protected, safe. He was lost in an ocean of pleasurable sensations, increased by the beautiful nebula of sleeping.

"Lincoln, wake up."

When a hand started to shake his shoulder, Lincoln finally opened his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was that his father was trying to wake him up. He immediately recognized that he wasn't in his room too, but in the living room couch. And the third thing he noticed was that it wasn't a pillow what was enveloping him. It was Luan. Last night memories came back at him, and he unconsciously snuggled against her again. After that intense chat, Luan had asked him to sleep with her there in the couch. He remembered that he had lain with his back pressed against his sister, and that she had held his hand. During the night, though, Luan had wrapped her arms over his chest, hugging him like she was trying to avoid someone to take him away from her.

Which was, in fact, the case.

"Lincoln, can you hear me?" Whispered his dad.

Lincoln rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes, and let out a big yawn. When he finally regained the use of his throat, he answered.

"What time is it?" He asked his father.

"It's twenty past six. Lincoln, is everything okay?"

"What do… What do you mean?" He asked, yawning again. His father was trying to start a conversation, but Lincoln's body was asking him to go to sleep as soon as possible. He had had the best sleep he could remember, and he needed to keep resting.

"Did something happened last night? Why are you and Luan sleeping here?"

Still dazed by his sleep, he understood his father's concern.

"I woke up and went… to the bathroom. And Luan was here."

"What time was that?"

"I don't know… Midnight? One in the morning?"

"And what was she…?"

"She's fine" he interrupted him, closing his eyes and putting his hand over Luan's arm. "She was just… confused."

His father didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, and he took that silence as an invitation to keep on sleeping. He was just about to surrender to Morpheus's call when his father started to shake his shoulders again, bringing him back to the boring world of reality.

"Lincoln, it's Friday, Luan has to go to school."

"She doesn't want to go" he mumbled.

"She has to" said his father, as he delicately moved Luan's arms away from their grip on her little brother.

She complained in her sleep, and her arms tried to grab him again, but Lynn Sr carried Lincoln in his arms.

"What…?" Asked Lincoln, opening his eyes again.

"Shhh… I'll carry you to your room" he said, moving to the stairs.

Too tired to complain, he just managed to take one last look at Luan. She was still sleeping, but her left hand was slowly moving over the now empty space on the couch, looking for something that was no longer there.

While they were going up the stairs, Lincoln closed his eyes and let his father carry him. Confused, in a weird state between sleep and vigil, he started to remember images from his childhood, memories of him falling asleep anywhere on the house and his father carrying him to his bed. Sometimes he would pretend to be asleep just to be carried. His dreams and reality started to blend with each other, and he couldn't tell which was which. One moment, he was just a kid and his father was putting Bun-Bun on his chest to protect him from nightmares, and suddenly his father, with considerably less hair, was tucking him in, covering him with his blankets and kissing him in the forehead, as Lincoln felt some salty drops of water falling on his face. Which was weird, since it didn't seem like it was raining outside.

His dizziness didn't last very long. As soon as he closed his eyes he was sleeping again.

When he finally opened his eyes again, his alarm clock said that it was almost ten o clock in the morning. He sat on his bed and started to stretch his arms. He remembered right away where and with whom he had spend the night, and how he had gotten to his bed. A part of him was feeling bad for not having breakfast with his family, but on the other hand, he felt like he had rejuvenated five years in a single night. He hadn't woken up startled in the middle of the night due to a nightmare. In fact, he had had some very warm and pleasant dreams.

He got up with a renewed mood, quickly grabbed a marker and stood in front of his calendar. He crossed out Thursday, the day before, and counted the days again. He still had nine days before his dead line. He checked his bucket list and started to update it. He checked the boxes next to _"Speak with Luan"_ and _"Find out what's going on with her"_ , which formed one of his top priority tandems. He also checked both _"Fix things with Ronnie Anne"_ and _"Ask mom to help me write a book"_ objectives. There was a lot to do in very little time, but he had faith. He read the whole list once again and chose a couple of objectives to complete that same day.

He walked out of his room, already dressed and with intentions of going downstairs to have some breakfast, but he was interrupted before he reached the stairs.

"Lincoln" called a voice behind him.

Lisa was coming out of her room, swiftly walking to him.

"Hey, Lisa. Good morning" he greeted her with a smile, remembering how he had tucked her in her bed the previous night.

"Morning. It is necessary that you come with me to my lab so I can run some control tests on your physical, neurological and psychosomatic state, in relation with the progression of cellular deterioration in your cardiac fibers."

"You hurt your what?" He asked, feeling like he was talking to R2-D2 with no one to translate for him.

Lisa sighed and fitted her glasses.

"Come to my room, so I can see how you're doing."

"Oh, sure. Why didn't you say it like that?"

Without answering, Lisa turned on her heels and stepped back into her room. With a slight smile, Lincoln followed her. Lily wasn't in her cradle, so she was probably downstairs, watched by her mother. The room's furniture was covered in book of all sizes and colors about anatomy, sickness and pretty much everything about the human body, and all those medical equipments that Lisa had gotten from God-only-knows where were on and doing digital sounds.

"Take a seat. This should only take a couple of minutes."

A couple of minutes later, Lincoln had gone through three full body scanners and had given a new blood sample for the cause. He didn't complained and did as he was told. He let Lisa do her work and whatever she thought it was necessary to do. While she was busy doing her stuff, he looked around her room. He remembered what he had seen the night before in the computer, and was looking for some jar, test tube or anything new around the room. Where do you keep an enzyme?

"Very well, Lincoln" Lisa finally said, after comparing the different studies, "your body seems to be fighting against the disease, stopping it from accelerating its expansion across your bloodstream."

"Is that good?"

"Of course. That means my initial projections about our available time are so far correct."

He nodded in silence. Those were absolutely good news, it meant that he might live to see the end of his calendar.

"However, these studies shows that you have acquired the flu virus, which is currently in incubation."

"The flu?!" Lincoln said, now totally worried; the last thing he needed was having to spend his last few days being sick like a zombie, not being able to leave his own room. "But how can it be? No one else is sick!"

"Actually, I can take credit for that. You see, I awoke at the wee hours of the morning due to an alteration on my normal sleep cycles, and just for precaution I decided to walk into your room so I could see that it was all in order. I found you placidly sleeping, but I noticed how cold it was in your room, which is logical, considering the fact that the house central heating system does not reach your room. Fearing that the low temperatures might weaken your immune system, I decided to use some of my special Decontamination Spray, patent pending. Evidently, I managed to eliminate the virus before it could travel through the vents and infect the rest of the family, with the exception of yourself. It seems like you were already infected by the time I got there. After that, I went back to my room and resumed my sleeping. But do not fear."

Lisa headed straight to what seemed to be a minibar, typed a code in the keyboard and pressed her right thumb in a scanner to had her fingerprints read. After a few seconds, the door finally opened, letting scape some kind of white fog, like it was containing liquid nitrogen or a little special effects dry ice. Carefully, she extracted a series of test tubes filled with a blue liquid.

"Fortunately, I have a couple of flu antidote samples stored, and I will gladly let you use it."

"Flu antidote?" He asked, starting to think that something was odd. "You have antidote for the flu?"

"That's what I just said."

"But you never had that, didn't you? Like, a month ago we were all with the flu and you gave us water guns filled with chicken soup. You had no antidote."

"Look, if you don't want it, you can go and lock yourself in your own room, waiting to the symptoms to appear" she replied, sounding annoyed.

Lincoln was taken aback. It was very strange for Lisa to be mad or angry, or to show any kind of emotion for that matter. Lisa was usually above such trivial stuff like human emotions.

"Alright, alright, I'll take it."

"Excellent" she said, grabbing the first test tube and emptying it in a glass. "I don't know the endurance of this particular strain of the virus, so I believe it would be convenient that you drink this antidote twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, until we can be sure that you're cured."

"And when will we know that?" He asked, as he grabbed the glass and analyzed its content.

"I'll let you know."

With a distrustful look at Lisa, Lincoln started to drink it. It didn't taste like a medicine. It had an odd taste, sweet, more like a not so tasty and cold honey tea. All in all it was pretty good, and he drank all the liquid. When he was done he left the glass aside and looked at Lisa again. She was holding her notebook with a pen in her right hand, watching him with interest.

"Well? How do you feel?"

"Er… Alright, I guess. You say this will keep me safe from the flu?"

"In theory, yes. But… I need you to notify me about any change you may feel" she said, sounding anxious. "If you find out any negative side effects or if you start feeling… different."

"Different?"

"You know… With more energy, more active, any physical change you may feel."

"Ok."

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" She said, sounding like his mother when she was telling him to take out the garbage for the tenth time. "You must notify me _immediately_ about _any_ kind of change, no matter how small it may be."

"Geez, I get it" he said, surprised by her reaction. "Easy there, Dexter. It's just the flu."

She seemed to be about to retort, but she stopped seconds before the word escaped her mouth.

"You're right. It's just the flu. You can have breakfast. You're dismissed."

And without another word, she turned and went to her computed, doing things Lincoln wasn't even interested in trying to comprehend. He left his little sister's room, highly confused. As he was going down the stairs, he couldn't avoid thinking that there was something about Lisa's story. Somehow, he felt like there was something that didn't make any sense…

When he got to the living room he saw Lily on the ground, playing with a key chain filled with plastic, colorful toy keys. As soon as she saw her older brother, she started to babble and to move her arms.

"Icon!" She gabbled, standing up and trying to walk near him. In her stagger, she tripped with her own foot and fell face first into the carpet floor.

"Lily!"

Lincoln hurried next to his baby sister, who started to cry as soon as her brain registered that she had hit her face. He sat on the floor next to her and lifted her in his arms.

"It's okay, Lily, I got you. It was just a fall. Your big brother is here. It's gonna be okay. Look, here are your keys" he said, grabbing the key chain and shaking it in the air so it sounded like a maraca. "Uuuh, look how many keys you have! And they are so shinny!"

After a few seconds crying, Lily started to laugh, and stretch her hand to grab the keys, but everytime she was about to catch them, Lincoln moved them away from her.

"You'll have to stretch a little more!"

Giggling, the baby stretch her arm once again, and this time Lincoln handed them to her.

"Very good! Well done, Lily!"

In an unusual display of affection from the little girl, she hugged the key chain and laid against Lincoln's chest. He was more than happy to hug her back, and started to gently cradle her in his arms. Barely ten seconds after being crying, she was happy once again. If there was something he loved about his baby sister, besides being able to run around the house practically naked all the time, was her ability to keep things from affecting her much. Her still developing memory made her forget about all her problems.

She… She always forget everything. She would forget everything about her current life when she'd grow up. And that included him…

"Oh, honey, I didn't hear you coming… Lincoln, are you okay?" His mother asked, coming out of her room after hearing Lily crying.

"Yeah, I'm fine… Lily just hit me with her key chain in the eye, no big deal" he lied, wiping his face with his hand.

Sometimes I fear we're having another Lynn when she grows up" joked Rita, getting near her son. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, yeah. I… Dad told you about me sleeping here with…?"

"Luan, yes. Son… I don't know what you told her, but she didn't wear her mime makeup this morning. And she was talking with her sisters and with me, too."

He smiled. He very much doubted that he had eliminated all her insecurities and fears, but it was a great start.

"Do you want me to make you some breakfast?"

"Sure. And then… Could we go on with the…?"

The phone started to ring, interrupting Lincoln.

"Of course, honey" his mother told him, correctly guessing what he was trying to say. "I did the groceries already, so we can write until your sisters come back from school."

His mother went to pick up the phone, while Lincoln kept playing with Lily.

"Loud house" she announced, picking up the phone. "Yes. Oh, good morning Mr. Finnigan."

Lincoln turned to look at the phone. Mr. Finnigan was a corpulent, irish man that was the principal of the Royal Woods Middle and High School. He had met him at some high school events he'd attended to see his sisters. What was he doing calling to his house? Was it something related to him? Had his sister's teachers found out about his condition?

"Yes, she's my daughter."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. It was something related to one of his sisters? Were they good news or bad news?

"She did WHAT?!" Yelled her mother, clearing any kind of doubts about the nature of that call.

* * *

Last Halloween, Lincoln had decided to dress as Ace Savvy. All his sisters warned him about it, telling him that it wasn't prudent. His younger sisters were focusing on the obvious but not less important fact that he was wearing his underwear on the outside. They thought that was degrading and shameful. His older sisters, meanwhile, were tying to explain to him that he was too old for two things. Firstly, he was too old to go trick or treating with Clyde. And secondly, he was too old to be wearing kids costumes. They tried to explain him that, at a certain age, one could no longer go out dressed like Peter Pan or Mickey Mouse. Lori suggested him to dress as a zombie, the last tendency on the social medias. Luna told him to go as _Eddie_ , the mascot of the English band _Metal Maiden_. Luan suggested a psycho clown, but Lincoln decided to go as Ace Savvy anyway, telling them that everything was going to be alright.

Lynn was pretty sure that her brother would be the laughing stock from some older boys, but deep down —and she would never, ever admit it to anyone— she thought it was kind adorable. Her brother was authentic. He did what he liked to do, and he wasn't afraid to show the world who he really was. Going around the neighbor with his underwear on the outside was a great demonstration of courage, and no one knew courage better than Lynn, she who declined no challenge. And she really respected her brother for sticking with what he wanted to do regardless of what everyone else might thing.

The Loud kids had figured out, with their years of experience, that it was easier to get candy if they divided themselves in small groups rather than going all together. So the older ones would go with the youngsters and took them on different routes. Lori and Leni would go with Lily and Lisa, Luna and Luan with the twins, and the last group usually consisted of Lynn, Lincoln and Lucy. But this year Lincoln wanted to go with Clyde, so his parents decided to go with Lynn and Lucy instead.

The young goth girl was dressed, predictably, as a vampire. Lynn, meanwhile, was wearing her usual baseball uniform, which Leni had slightly modified so she was doing a really good impression of Babe Ruth. She was going with her bat and ball, hitting it every once in a while and running to catch it later. There was one time where she hit the ball with too much strength, and the ball flew straight into the middle of a nearby park.

"Uh oh" she said, seeing what she'd done.

"Lynn Jr!" Her father nagged her.

"Don't worry, I'll get it!" She said, trying to keep them from punishing her, confiscating her bat or her baseball. "You guys go ahead, I'll find you later."

She ran into the park and soon recovered her ball. Before turning back, though, she looked up and saw Lincoln and Clyde walking down the path, looking down.

"What's up, losers?" She told them with a smirk. But her expression quickly turned into worry when she noticed that Lincoln's face was scraped.

"Lincoln! What happened?" She asked, getting near her brother.

"You guys were right" he said in a low voice. "Some guys made fun of me. They laughed at my costume, they pushed me to the ground and stole our candy bags."

"We tried to stop them, but they were really strong!" Added Clyde, dressed as One Eye Jack, Ace Savvy's loyal sidekick.

Lynn gritted her teeth, and the hand holding her bat almost broke it in half.

"Who did this?"

They gave her a description, and Lynn did what any older sister would do: she hunted those two bullies down. No one would touch her brother and go away unpunished. Accompanied by some fearful Lincoln and Clyde, she walked around the neighbor for almost half an hour, until they finally pointed out those who had stolen their candy.

Needless to say, Lynn beat the living hell out of them. Each one of them was at least a foot taller than her, but they didn't even realize what had hit them. By the time they were able to react, they were on their knees, with bruises in muscles they didn't even know they had. Lynn got Lincoln and Clyde's candy back –along with those two bullies personal harvest– and spend the rest of the night with them, escorting them around the neighbor. More than one fella tried to make fun of Lincoln, but the desire to laugh at a young boy wearing his underwear on the outside were quickly dismissed when said kid was walking along a very angry Babe Ruth with a real baseball in her hand.

Lincoln ended up enjoying that Halloween. All thanks to Lynn.

That's how Lynn had always taken care of her little brother. Someone stole his candy bag? Lynn beat them until they would give them back to him. Some bully at school was trying to steal his lunch money? She gave him bruises until he was was volunteering to save Lincoln a place in the cafeteria line for the rest of his life. She had always found the way to protect her brother. There was no situation from where she couldn't punch his way out of it. Nothing that she couldn't solve with some well measured violence.

Except for the fact that she couldn't save his life.

She couldn't help him. She couldn't save him. He was sick, he was dying, and there was nothing she could do about it, nothing she could do for him. She could only sit and wait. Wait for the days to pass, for that terrible moment to arrive, and then her brother, her dear little brother, her only brother in the whole world, would be gone forever. There was no way of expressing how she was feeling. It was like she was loosing the FIFA World Cup Final by seven goals, with three players less, just waiting for the referee to end the game and sentence the defeat. But this was much, much worse. The was no overtime, no home or away game to change the result, no time-outs, no next season. There was no rematch. Lincoln would die, and that was the end of it. Game over.

She found herself several times a day wondering if it wasn't all just a dream. And that was because everything felt so unreal… She had no appetite. She couldn't really sleep. Conversations around her sounded like they were miles away. She was feeling just like when she was in her swimming competitions. When she swan underwater, she could hear the crowd yelling, but it all felt so far away, muffled by the water, with an interference that helped her focus on herself.

But she was having troubles concentrating on anything. She already wasn't an exemplary student, but this last week she had done absolutely nothing in school. She didn't take any notes, she didn't do her homework, she hadn't listen a single word from her teachers. She was smart enough to keep her eyes on the blackboard and pretend some amount of interest on the daily lessons, but the words were going through her. It was like in the hockey regional final against the Hamilton Harpies, that had been played in the middle of a storm. The sky was falling, and there was so much water that their clothes were several pounds heavier. But in the middle of the game, Lynn didn't ever fell it. She knew that it was raining, but her brain had decided to ignore the impact of the drops and the cold of the water. She knew it was happening, but she didn't feel it. Something like that was going on with her life right then. Days were passing by, she knew that, but it was like time was not really moving.

Her friends and teammates knew that something was troubling her. They had noticed the way she was training those last few days. She was always the best at every sport she practiced, and she usually showed it at every training. But these last few days, it had been different. In soccer practice, she kicked from practically any point in the field, and the ball was hitting the net as fast as a missile. In tennis, all her serves were aces that, had they been recorded by some speedometer like in the Grand Slams, they could probably establish a few records. While in her football practice, she took the ball and started to move like a charging rhino, stomping on any senseless person who would try to stop her. Her karate sensei had even send her to practice alone the day before, after she left a sore white belt on the floor when he couldn't block her.

"You're supposed to control yourself, especially when you're practicing with someone with a lower belt" he told her. "And you need to announce when you're going serious, so the other one can be prepared."

"I'm always serious" she had replied, although accepting her punishment and practicing alone for the rest of the class.

Everyone who knew her knew that she was going through something, but no one gave it much importance. They thought she had finally collapsed against the physical and emotional distress of practicing so many sports in such a professional way. Maybe, had they realized that she wasn't okay, that something was really bothering her, her teachers at P.E. in school wouldn't have sent her to practice with the boys. They would've noticed she needed some less pressure, not to be send with the male group to "show them how it's done".

They were playing soccer, and just fifteen minutes into the game, Lynn had already scored four time. The boys hated when she humiliated them like that. A girl running through them like they were some sort of traffic cones and then scoring some Lionel Messi like goals? They could not allow that. Soon, they started to press her in a rougher way. They started to use their elbows to try to stop her from pressing them, and they threw their legs a little longer than necessary, kicking her ankles. But she didn't complained. She was focused on the game, in being the best, the ball and nothing else.

That's when one of the boys decided to use another tactic. It was a really bad choice,

Lynn was going straight to the rival goal post, with the ball on her feet. She was about to shoot at it when someone kicked her from behind, knocking her over to the ground.

"Foul!" Yelled the teacher, calling a free kick and giving the yellow card to the offender. "And you're lucky it's not red!"

Lynn didn't mind it. She was used to be taking a lot of fouls. She knelt to tie her shoelaces, when the boy that had tried to stop her stood in front of her.

"Sorry, Lynn" he said, sounding pretty amused for someone who was offering an apology, "I didn't see you there."

Lynn stood up and looked right at him, throwing daggers with her eyes.

"Of course you saw me, Ryan. You had a very clear view of my heels when I dribbled around you. For the twelfth time."

"You're right, you completely outran me there. It's just that you're too good for us. Last Sunday, in the park, you humiliated me and my friends."

Lynn was frozen in her place when she started to think about that Sunday, about what had happened that day in the park. With everything that came after that, she had almost forgot about it, but she now remembered that as soon as she got there she had joined a soccer match some boys were playing there. She had gathered around just because it was an opportunity to practice, but then she saw that Ryan was there playing. Apparently, it was one of his friend's birthday. He tried to stop her from joining them, but the rest of the guys who didn't know her thought it'd be fun letting a girl play with them. After she scored five goals, they kicked her out.

That had left her somewhat depressed. She walked straight to a lonely tree to sit down and try to calm down a bit. That's when Lincoln found her, where he offered to play with her…

"Speaking of that, I couldn't ask you, how's your brother?"

Lynn snapped back to reality. Ryan was grinning at her.

"We saw all that fuss you caused. Really, Lynn, you're amazing. I mean, send your brother to the hospital? Your younger brother? I mean, I knew you were competitive, but I never thought you could do something like this over a game. What kind of sister are you, eh? What kind of monster would want to win so bad that she would rather send...?"

It happened so fast that no one could stop her. She jumped over Ryan, knocked him to the ground and hit him in the face. First with her right, then with her left. Over and over. Her sensei was always telling them about selfcontrol, but she'd lost any kind of rationality. The only thing she wanted to do was to shut Ryan up. Not only to erase that stupid smile out of his face, no. It wasn't just against him, for being a jerk. She was punching the words he'd said, the idea behind the provocation.

Maybe, if she hit him hard enough, it would all be a lie. It wouldn't be true that she had sent Lincoln to the hospital, that it was all her fault.

She was out of herself. She felt like her mind was watching a movie where she was punching the boy beneath her. A part of her knew that she shouldn't be doing that, but she couldn't stop herself. The hands that tried to separate her couldn't move her. Only when her teacher grabber her by her arms and dragged her away, Lynn reacted.

"...ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE!" Was yelling her teacher. "AN UNFIT BEHAVIOR! THIS IS WORTH A SUSPENSION, YOUNG LADY, AND BE SURE THAT I'LL LET THE PRINCIPAL KNOW THAT…!"

The weight of what she had just done started to fall upon her. She looked at her knuckles and found them sore. Her teacher's words were lost in the nebula of the outside world, and Lynn could only think about doing one thing.

Run.

* * *

She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where was she heading to, she just let her legs lead the way. Dressed with her gym clothes, Lynn was strolling through Royal Woods streets, keeping both eyes open and looking behind her every few steps, waiting for her principal, her teacher or even police to appear suddenly. She had attacked a classmate and then she ran away. She ran away from school, and no one could stop her. She was _so_ expelled, she was sure about that. There was no running away from that. Her parents would have to find a new school for her. Or maybe they would send her to a boarding school? What if she ended up in jail? Could she be charged for her rampage on Ryan? She was a third dan black belt in karate, she was supposed to have a responsibility on the use of her own strength. Would this put her in trouble?

She wasn't sure, but ultimately she didn't care. Maybe she deserved to be expelled, or sent to jail. She deserved a punishment. If it wasn't because of what had just happened with Ryan, at least someone should punish her for killing her brother.

Ryan didn't know what he was talking about, but he was right nonetheless. She had sent her brother to the hospital. Her parents had explained them older sisters everything. Lincoln had some tumors on his head that, so far, hadn't caused any harm. But the impact of a soccer ball in his head had dislodged some of those cancerous cells, going through his bloodstream right to his heart. Now his heart was infected, it would soon stop working, and her little brother would die because of it. There was nothing they could tell her to make her feel better.

Lori said that it had been an accident. Her parents told her that it was bound to happen sooner or later. So far, Luan had been the only one to openly blame her for all of this, two days ago. And even though that this morning in the family van, after leaving their younger sisters in their elementary school Luan had broken down and cried while telling her she was sorry and asking for her forgiveness, the damage was already done. Lynn now knew that the rest of the family was fully aware that it was all her fault.

She knew they didn't blame her, but what her family thought of her didn't matter. The point was that she would never forgive herself for doing what she had done. She had killed her brother.

Every night, after Lucy fell asleep, Lynn cried herself to sleep. She was feeling guilty beyond measures. There was this time when she missed the final point in a basketball game, and her team had lost the championship because of that. So far, that was her only lost final match, but two years later, she still carried the anguish of having failed that final shot. But that pain couldn't even be compared with what she was feeling knowing she was the cause of her brother's death.

What if Lincoln hadn't offered to play with her that afternoon? What if she hadn't kicked the ball so hard? Why didn't she just sat with him under the shadow of the tree, asking him how was he doing in school, or how things were with Ronnie Anne? Lincoln hated sports. He hated physical effort. If he played with her, it was only to make her happy, to spend some time with her. He'd always been like that. He never complained that she didn't do the things he liked, that she didn't read comics with him, or didn't go hunting ghosts on the attic. He never complained about being her sparring for every single sport she practiced.

While her legs were still leading the way through the city, she remembered a talk she had had with Lincoln some weeks ago, when she told him why she considered him an example of sports.

* * *

 _Lynn had just returned home from the hospital after the last football game of the regular season of the Royal Woods Junior League. She and Lincoln had been fooling everyone for months, with Lynn pretending to be him in his games. In the end, their shenanigan had been discovered when Lynn got injured and had to leave the game, and Lincoln had to take her –well, his place. She had sprained her right ankle, but she decided to see the end of the game before going to the hospital to treat her injury. Lincoln ran with the ball in his hands for a whole minute, dodging the enemy team, although he had scored on the wrong end of the field, and his team had lost the tournament._

 _As soon as she got back home, Lynn climbed the stairs with her crutch, heading straight to Lincoln's room. She had a few things to say to him._

" _Lincoln, it's me, open up" she said, bumping the linen closet door with her crutch._

 _But Lincoln didn't answered. Annoyed, she opened the door herself and walked inside her brother's room. He was lying on his bed, staring at the roof. He was still wearing his football uniform and his face was covered in mud. He didn't look at her when she entered the room. He gave no signals of acknowledging her presence there. He simply continued to stare at the roof._

" _Well? Aren't you gonna say anything to me? Should I punch you so you look at me?" She said, closing the door behind her and walking near his bed._

 _Seeing that he wasn't answering, Lynn sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. She used her crutch to draw a chair near her and put her plastered foot on it. Only then Lincoln turned to see her._

" _How bad is it?" He asked with a low voice._

" _It's nothing, just a sprained. Doc says I'll be out for three weeks, but I know a method so I can start practicing in just fifteen days" she said with a mischievous smile._

 _She waited for him to say something, but Lincoln seemed to be about to cry._

" _Alright, whatever you think you have to say, now's the time to say it" she finally told him._

 _Lincoln sat and hugged Lynn, who was taken aback by his attitude. Confused, she didn't hug him back._

" _Er, Lincoln? What gives?"_

" _I'm sorry, Lynn, I'm really, really, really sorry" he said, hugging her tighter. "This is all my fault, if I wasn't such a failure in sports I shouldn't have asked you to play for me, you wouldn't have been injured and you wouldn't be staying out of sports for three weeks. Please forgive me!"_

 _Lynn started to laugh, and Lincoln slowly separated himself from her. He looked dumbfounded as Lynn kept laughing._

" _What are you laughing at?" He finally asked._

" _I'm laughing at you, you doofus!" She said with a big smile. "Lincoln, you no need to apologize for anything."_

" _But… But you got hurt."_

" _Pff, a lesion in a sport, big deal" she said, shrugging it off like it was nothing. "The risk is part of the game. I'm used to this kind of injuries, anyway. Besides, I'm really proud of you, bro!"_

 _And she violently wrapped her right arm around Lincoln's neck, in a gesture that most people would consider a lucha libre grab, but that Lincoln knew for a fact that it was one of the ways Lynn showed some caring._

" _Proud? What are you talking about?"_

" _Lincoln, you went to the field for the last minute in the final match of the season! Do you have any idea how brave that was?"_

" _But I made the team lose the tournament."_

" _But before that you ran over sixty yards with the ball, dodging everyone! And you got to the end zone!"_

" _I went to the wrong end zone" he remarked, believing that Lynn had lost her mind._

" _But that's just because you don't know the rules. I've never seen a beginner run like that. I didn't know you had that much energy! I'm impressed!"_

" _Lynn, I think you're not getting it: I'm the worst player of the season, and I only played for a minute!"_

" _No, you're the one who's not getting it" she said, releasing Lincoln from her grab/hub so she could look him in the eye. "You're comparing yourself with boys that train the whole year to understand and be better at the game. You haven't trained in your life, so what you did is much, much more valuable."_

" _I don't understand what you..."_

" _Let me finish! Lincoln, sports aren't about making your rival lose, it's not about being better than everyone else. Sports are about overcome yourself. I'm not training to be better than my rivals; let them worry about their level. I train to be better, to be the best version of myself. You hate sports, but today, when the team needed a player, you didn't hesitate to take that place, and you gave your best. You know, there's one thing we players always say about penalties in soccer: they are only missed by those who dare kick them. There's always the change of failing, but it takes a lot of courage to take the risk. And you, little brother, you just took a great risk. The rest of the school will probably hate you for giving away the trophy, but today you became my hero, Linc."_

 _Her words meant a lot to Lincoln. His eyes started to glow, and his mouth slowly became a smile._

" _Can I hug you again?" He asked._

 _Lynn gave a look at the door._

" _Fine. But if someone comes in, I'll throw you to the floor and say we were wrestling."_

 _And then, smiling too, she opened her arms and hugged her little brother tight._

* * *

Lincoln hated sports and he thought of himself as a lazy boy who could never be good at them. Still, he never rejected an invitation from Lynn to play with her. And Lynn admired and loved him because of that. He didn't know it, but he had an enormous potential to be an excellent player if he ever decided to train and take it seriously. Of course, they would never know now, since Lincoln wouldn't be able to practice anything anymore.

When she walked past the auxiliary gym, Lynn finally realized where had her feet lead her to. She strolled through the parking slot and entered the access hall of the Royal Woods Athletic Club. She knew that building like the back of her hand. Her parents had made her a club member when she was a little girl, and she had signed up in all the sports. At her thirteen years, she had practiced at least once every one of the seventeen disciplines the club offered. She was known by everyone there, and the staff almost considered her as part of the family.

The club was pretty big, and there were a lot of places she could head to, but she knew why her unconscious had taken there, and she knew what she needed first. She climbed the stairs, passed in front of the trophy cases (where her name appeared countless times) and went straight to the service room. She knocked the door and waited. A few moments later, an old man, about sixty-something years old opened the door. His white hair outlined a small and kind face, with some wrinkles around his eyes and on his neck. The man was wearing some big glasses that increased the size of his eyes, making him look like giant mantis. He was dressed as a janitor, but everyone in the club knew that man was more than an ordinary employee.

"Well, look who's here! It's the Little Loud!" Said the man, extending a trembling and wrinkled hand toward Lynn.

"Good morning, Phillip" she said, shaking the old man's hand.

Phillip had been working on the club for over forty years, and even though her official job was Cleaning and Maintenance Manager, those who lived the daily life of the club knew that he was the heart of the institution, a man who knew everything there was to know about the sport history of Royal Woods, and he had the incredible ability of remembering every athlete that trained in the club. He had access to all the areas, and if someone needed something, they could always count on Phillip.

"What are you doing here on a Friday, Lynn Jr.?" He asked with a warm smile.

"I came to see sensei Royce."

"Oh, Mr. Royce, of course. But you don't have karate practice today" said Phillip, taking a hand to his chin. "I believe your category has practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays evenings, not Friday mornings."

"I know, but I'm getting ready for the next belt exam, and sensei agreed to give me extra classes" she lied, feeling terrible for being lying to Phillip. She spend a lot of time in the club, and Phillip was practically a friend.

"Oh, that's wonderful" he said. "Always going for more, aren't you Lynn?"

"Yeah… that's me. So, listen, here's the thing: my mom took my karate gi to laundry last night, and I don't have anything to practice with" she said.

"Say no more" answered Phillip, grabbing his keys and closing the door behind him. "I have a perfect uniform for you in the props room. Come with me, it's just around the corner."

* * *

When she entered the dojo, she found it was almost empty. The first class of the day, for adults, would start an hour later. The only one there was sensei Royce himself. He was a pretty short man, about the same height as Lori, and his brown, neatly combed hair made him look like a librarian rather than a master of karate. But behind that friendly look was a retired five-times national champion of martial arts, who had settled down in Royal Woods after finishing his career as a professional fighter and was now preparing the next generation of athletes.

He was wearing his karate gi already and his eight dan red and white belt, and was currently sweeping the floor with a broom as he sang an old and catchy pop song.

" _Everybody was kung fu fighting… Those kicks were fast as lighting_ " he hummed as he danced around the dojo with the broom in his hands.

"Sensei?" Called Lynn, approaching him already wearing her karate gi.

Sensei Royce stopped dead on his tracks and turned to look at his student.

"Lynn? What are you doing here?" He asked, leaving his broom aside and walking near her with a confused look.

"Sensei" she said, taking a big bow, "please, I'd like to practice real combat with you."

"What?"

Mr Royce was an excellent fighter. Even if he was over fifty years old now, his physical state was still enviable, and what he'd lost in endurance he'd won in experience and technique. However, even though he participated in some seminars every now and then, he always refused to practice combat with a student. He limited himself to give instructions and advice from the distance.

"Please" she repeated, bowing even more, like she was trying to kiss her exposed toes, "fight with me."

"Lynn, you very well know I don't do that."

"Sensei, I beg you. I need… I need to fight" she confessed, her eyes fixed on the floorboards.

She didn't saw her sense's face. She just heard his silence.

"I don't do combat with my students" he seriously said. "And even I did, this is not your practice schedule. In fact, you should be in school right now. What are you doing here?"

"School doesn't matter" she said, clenching her fists and sounding annoyed. "Please, I'm asking you to make an exception."

"No. Call your parents and tell them to pick you up. You'll be in serious trouble if they don't know you're here."

Lynn felt her eyes burning. Her body had brought her here because she needed someone to fight with, someone who could keep up a fight with her. Since Monday, she'd found out that punching things helped her feel a little better with herself. It was like every punch made her drop a small amount of the frustration she was carrying on her shoulders. But, honestly, what helped her most was the pain. Those first few days, a couple of hours with her punching bag left her hands numb and sore, and her knuckles a little swollen from all those impacts. She then started to practice with her makiwara, until she eventually twisted her wrist. And the day before, when she had fought with Ronnie Anne… She had deliberately provoked that fight, she was needing it. She needed to fight with someone. She didn't want to hurt her, really, that's why she held back most of her blows. And she wasn't really worried about keeping her guard up; she could've avoided receiving a couple of blows, but physical pain was starting to work, ironically, as a painkiller.

She knew some facts about the human body, since it was what she trained all day long. She knew that when the body detected several injuries, it put the focus on the most important, the most dangerous. It was a defense mechanism that made the body to put more focus on those lesions that could, potentially, put life in risk. That way, for example, if one had a broken bone, that pain would nullify the pain from less important injuries, like a small cut.

Lynn wasn't as smart as Lisa, but she had the theory that her exhaustion and small doses of pain she suffered as a result of her extreme and furious training were helping her ignore the tremendous anguish her heart felt. She knew that it was a bad thing to do, that it was wrong, that it was a self destructive attitude that could only end up bad for her. But her mind wasn't thinking in the long term. She needed some kind of relief, and she needed it now.

Enraged, she prepared her legs and quickly moved near her sensei. He was shocked to see Lynn throw a circle kick aimed at his chest. He was paralyzed for some instants, but in a fraction of a second he adopted a defensive form and deflected Lynn's kick with a swift and precise movement of his wrist.

"Lynn! What are you doing?! That kick could've hurt me hadn't I block it!"

"I knew you would block it!" She said, giving her sensei with a challenging look. "I couldn't touch you if you didn't let me!"

"Lynn, stop this madness and go home! I won't fight you!" He said, standing normally, although his shoulders seemed to be tense, ready to react.

"Yes you will!"

And Lynn attacked again. She started to throw him punches, kicks, she tried to apply the grapples he had taught her all these years. She did every single combination she knew from the katas, trying her best to hit her sensei. She was his best student, but the reflexes and strength of the ex champion, while not as good as they were, were still enough to keep her in place.

"Enough!" He finally said, grabbing her by the wrist and hitting her in the chest with his open palm, making her back down a few steps. "You have just lost your black belt until you learn respect and self-control!"

"I don't care about the belt!" She yelled, feeling a little pain in the sternum. "I just want you to attack me!"

She resumed her assault on her sensei, who continued to block her blows and kicks. She was too lost in her anger to realize it, but she had started to cry. She was trying to keep her mind blank, but there was something she couldn't avoid thinking. During all those years competing in karate tournaments, she had used a very particular way to psych herself up to defeat her opponents: she always pictured whoever she had in front of her like they were hurting Lincoln. She told herself again and again that they had hurt him. And when she fought them, her older sister instinct made her a most dangerous rival. However, this time, as she tried to hit her sensei, she was picturing herself in him. She was trying to make herself pay for having hurt Lincoln. She was so conflicted inside that she started to cry without noticing it.

Mr Royce did noticed, though. He knew something was wrong the moment his student tried to attack him just because she wanted a fight. That was not the Lynn he'd taught all these years, the girl he was so proud of. Those tears only confirmed him that there was indeed something wrong.

Lynn threw a new fist aimed at his chest, knowing that he would block it. But when he put his arms down, leaving his chest exposed, she barely had time to stop her fist millimeters before hitting him.

"What are you doing?" She said with trembling voice. "Defend yourself!"

He said nothing. He stood straight in his place, with his right palm covering his left knuckles. That was a karate posture used at the beginning and end of every kata, symbolizing the intention of not fighting.

"I said, defend yourself!" She yelled, punching him in the chest but lacking conviction.

He didn't even flinch. He didn't try to block it and he said nothing after receiving the punch. That made Lynn a lot more angry.

"Fight back!" She said, delivering a new blow, this time a little harder.

Again, no answer.

Feeling even worse by this, Lynn started to punch his sensei on his chest, telling him again and again to defend himself, pleading him to attack her. The strength on her blows was carefully measured. She was hitting him, yes, but she wasn't causing him any real pain. She wouldn't even bruise him. For a couple of minutes, she just used him as a makiwara, letting go all her frustration, and the more she did that, the more she cried. She wasn't just shedding some tears, she was sobbing and panting, having real troubles to keep a steady breathing. She finally let her arms fall like dead weights and pressed her forehead against her sensei's chest. Now fully surrendered to her crying, she let him put an arm on her shoulder.

Neither one of them spoke, and save for her sobs, the dojo was fully silent for some minutes.

* * *

There was no point in trying to pretend that she was okay, that there was nothing wrong. So after she settled down, they sat on a bench and she told him what was happening. She told him that her brother was really sick and that he would die in just a few days, but she didn't dare to tell him that it had all been her fault. She couldn't do it. It was just too painful to even think about it. He immediately comprehended the gravity of the situation, and he understood why she was acting so different lately. He tried to explain something about that people who die still live in the hearts of those who loved them, but Lynn wasn't looking for wisdom. She didn't need nice words about how she would eventually overcome her brother's loss. When she said nothing, Mr Royce understood what was going through her mind.

"Lynn, I understand that this is tough. I know what you're going through. When I was a kid, I lost my cousin in a car accident. I know the anguish and the jitters you're feeling right now. And I know why you came here."

She looked up at him, wiping her tears on the karate gi Phillip had given her.

"When I was younger, I too believed that karate could help me forget about my problems. Whenever I fought with my parents or I failed at school, I would train obstinately, even to the point of hurting myself" he gave her a significant look, and Lynn wondered if, at some point, karate gave you the ability to read minds. "But, with time, I learned that the beauty of karate resides in separating the mind from the spirit. The catharsis this discipline can give you is not in a way to channel your anger and sadness, but in a way to find your inner peace. You're suffering because you are trying to negate what's happening. You're desperately looking for a way to convince yourself that this is not happening, but you'll only find the peace you're looking for when you accept this situation."

"No! I don't want to accept it! I don't want him to die!" She screamed, covering her face with her hands.

"Of course you don't."

"I can't… I can't be okay with him leaving me! I can't be okay with that!"

"Lynn, I'm not telling you to not be afflicted" he said, stroking her back. "It's natural to be sad about this. It's healthy to feel this way. This is not a situation you can overcome, it's something that you'll learn to live with. And for that you need two things: time, and the support of your love ones."

Lynn was starting to calm down, not because she was feeling better, but because she was running out of energy, even to feel depressed.

"You should better go to the lockers and change yourself. Leave your karate gi there, I'll return it to Phillip later."

"I don't want to go" she said, wiping her face. "I ran away from school, and I'm not ready to see my family yet."

"Well, you better start getting ready, because your family came to see you" he said, pointing out a finger to the dojo entrance.

Lynn looked up and saw, standing next to the door, her brother, Lincoln.

* * *

After she got dressed, she left the dojo along with him. At first they didn't exchanged any words other than an awkward "Hi" and him asking her how she was, question she just avoided. They started to walk, left the club, and Lincoln guided her to a nearby square. She followed him without saying anything, knowing that she couldn't ran away from this too. The square was practically desert, but Lincoln still walked all the way to the shadow of a lonely tree, far away from the main path were people were walking by. He sat with his legs crossed, and she with her back against the tree trunk, with her knees covering her chest and her arms wrapped around them.

She was waiting for Lincoln to start to talk, to nag her about running away from school or something like that, but he seemed to be waiting for her. He wasn't saying anything, he just stared at her, with a mixture of sadness and understanding in his gaze. Not standing the silence anymore, Lynn finally broke the ice.

"What are you doing here?" She softly asked.

"We had a call from your school. They told mom you had ran away after having a fight with some classmate. We were worried sick."

"Where's mom?"

"Home. I asked her to let me talk with you one on one."

"Why?"

"Because I'm worried about you" he answered, leaning slightly towards her.

Lynn sighed. That was her little brother. He was dying, and yet he was still worried about her.

"How did you find me?"

"You always come here when you have nowhere else to go. Remember when you hit me in the mouth with your baseball bat?" He said laughing, while pointing at his chipped front tooth. "You ran away from home and we were looking for you for hours in the neighborhood until they called from the club and told us you were on the gym trying to lift too much weight."

Clearly, he'd tried to cheer her up by telling an anecdote he evidently thought it was funny, but the result was quite the opposite.

"You always end up hurt when you play with me, don't you?" She asked, feeling like she was sinking in an endless pit.

"Not always" he slowly answering, measuring his words. "You may be a little rough sometimes, but I know you would never hurt me intentionally. And I know you very well, I know that deep down, reaaaaally deep down, behind a locked door with chains and padlocks… you care about me."

"Of course I care about you! I love you, you idiot!" She snapped back, raising her volume.

"I know, I know, I was kidding" he eased her. "What I mean is that you care about me, so I'm not afraid that you might hurt me when we play. You would never do something that could really hurt me."

"And yet, here we are."

There. She said it. She didn't dare to look at Lincoln, she didn't dare to see his face. She focused on the ground and started to pick up strands of grass. Lincoln stood silent for a few seconds, like what she said was still sinking in.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a smart bot, you very well know what I meant" she answered, tearing those strands apart like each one of them had made a personal offense to her.

"If… If you're saying what I think you're saying..."

"Cut the crap, Lincoln!" She said, hitting the ground with her fist.

He looked at her, startled.

"I swear I just don't get it" said Lynn, taking her hands to her head and messing up her hair. "You're… You're acting like everything's normal. You cook out breakfasts, you keep taking out the trash, you play with Lana, Lola and Lucy… Why the hell are you acting like that? Why are you acting like nothing's wrong? Why the hell do you worry about how I am when it's you who's dying?!"

"Because I love you and I worry about you" he resolutely answered.

"Well, you shouldn't!" She yelled at him, kneeling before him and grabbing him by his shoulders. "I'm the older sister, I should be taking care you! Not the other way around! It's my job to protect you and make sure nothing happens to you! You shouldn't have to worry about how I'm going! I don't deserve it!"

"Of course you deserve so! You're my sister!"

"I've killed you!" She screamed, shaking him by his shoulders, trying to make him understand. "I've killed you!"

Lincoln was trying to keep himself in place, but Lynn had a tight grip on his shoulders, and she was shaking him a lot. Besides, it wasn't normal for him to see his older sister crying, and he was taken aback by that.

"You don't have to worry about me, you don't have to love me anymore! Hate me, be mad at me! Stay away from me, tell me it's all my fault!" She was saying, panting like she had just ran a marathon. "Don't treat me like it's all good, because you know damn well that it isn't, goddammit!"

She slowly pushed him back and stood up. She took two steps near the tree and punched the trunk with all her strength. Her whole arm vibrated after the impact, and her knuckles felt every irregularity in the bark. She didn't cut herself, but her hand was soon turning red. She heard him standing up. She knew him very well, he was unbearably naive. He would now tell her that it had been an accident, that he didn't hate her not blame her, that he still loved her and he would do it forever. That's how he was. He might rile them almost everyday, and every once in a while he messed up bad and they all hate him for a while. But in the end, he was always worrying about his sisters.

"You didn't kill me" said Lincoln, standing behind her.

Absolutely predictable.

"Lincoln, you can say whatever you want, that it wasn't my fault, that it was an accident, but we both know what happened."

"No. I know exactly what happened, and I think you only one one part of it."

"Stop lying! That ball I kicked ended up screwing your heart up, what part of that don't you understand?!"

"Just shut up and listen to me!" He fiercely said, grabbing Lynn by her right shoulder and making her turn around to see him.

She stared at Lincoln with her mouth opened. He looked tired and angry. She was about to say things to him that would serve her a year grounded if her mother listened them, but she shut her mouth and looked down. She took a step back and rested her back against the tree. Realizing she was allowing him to talk, Lincoln sighed and started to explain.

"Do you remember how I was before that ball hit me in the head?"

Lynn closed her eyes and felt a small needle piercing her heart as she started to think about the incident.

"I don't know, bro, I don't know. I just remember you lying on he floor, passed out" she answered, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"I had been feeling odd for a couple of days, with some headache and not being able to sleep well. And when we started to play, I quickly felt completely agitated" he told her, remembering all those horrible sensations he had experienced. "And my body suddenly stopped doing what I wanted to do. It was like I couldn't control myself."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I was supposed to die right then."

Lynn gasped and looked up. She looked him in the eye and realized he was being serious.

"What do you mean?"

"There was a tumor blocking one of my brain veins. I was about to die. I should have died right then."

"But… Why…? How…?"

"The ambulance wouldn't have arrived in time" he continued, seeing his sister's loss of words, and stepped nearer her, grabbing one of her hands, "but I was lucky enough to receive a bump on my head that dislodged the tumor."

This time Lynn could only open her mouth, with all possible sounds trapped in the lump in her throat.

"My doctor explained it to me. I was supposed to die that afternoon, but you… Accidentally, yes, but you saved my life."

Lynn's mind was working too slow. Sometimes, emotional shocks made it impossible for the mind to establish simple connections, it doesn't let it realize a correct analysis of the ideas and the presented evidences. All this time, she had convinced herself that she had accidentally caused her brother's death, and now he was telling her that she had in fact saved him. Her mind was unable to comprehend what that meant.

"I..." she said, with her gaze lost.

"You saved me" he repeated, squeezing her hand a little.

That gesture seemed to bring Lynn back to reality, and she immediately jumped away from Lincoln and started to back away from him.

"No… No! I know what you're doing!" She said, pointing a finger at him. "I know you, Lincoln! You're making this up so I would feel better!"

"What? No! Lynn, it's true."

"So typical of you! You'd say whatever to try to cheer me up!"

She was still walking backwards, and then she tripped with one of the tree roots. She fell on the ground and stayed there, hiding her face behind her hands. Lincoln bent over her.

"Lynn, look at me."

"No!"

"Look at me."

She needed a minute or two, but Lynn finally looked at her little brother. His face was really close to hers, and he looked extremely worried.

"Lynn, you prevented me from dying."

"No" she said, shaking her head, trying to find some clarity in that unreal situation. "If… Even if what you're saying is true… Your heart is still going to fail because of me."

"That bump send the tumor cells to my heart, that's true" said Lincoln, nodding slowly, and Lynn exploded in a painful wailing after hearing that. "BUT!"

Lincoln put a hand beneath her chin and made her meet his eyes.

"But", he repeated, "you gave me two more weeks to live. See it the way I see it: I was going to die anyway, you can't change that, but thanks to you I have the chance to say goodbye to all of you."

She kept crying, without looking away from him.

"Tell me… Promise me you're not lying" she asked.

"I promise you."

"Lincoln, I'm serious!" She said, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "Don't you dare lie to me with something like this! Tell me the truth!"

"Lynn" he quietly said, "I swear it's all true. I would never lie to you like that."

In any other situation, she might've doubted about his honesty a little more. She would be convinced that he was just telling her what she wanted to hear. He knew how to honeypot someone, he was very skilled with words, and he knew what to say to convince everyone else, or to make them feel better. Maybe she would've normally believed that he was lying, but right now she wanted to believe him… She needed to believe him.

It was like someone had lifted a titanic weight out of her shoulders. She sighed, and along with the air on her lungs, she also felt a gigantic ball of nerves escaping her, like someone had freed her from a straitjacket. She felt that she could now breath normally, that her heart was beating a little easier now. And she hated herself for feeling a little dose of relief, because her little brother was still going to die, but she couldn't help herself from thinking that things were a tiny little better than they had been five minutes ago. She hadn't killed her brother. It wasn't her fault.

She was still grabbing him by his shirt's collar. When she realized that, she released him and softly fixed his shirt, trying to take away those wrinkles. Then her eyes focused again on her brother's face. She stared at his freckles, something only the two of them and Luna shared. She stared at his teeth, the one she'd chipped a long time ago. And finally, she stared at his eyes. They were tired, a little scared, but intense, focused on her, letting her know that he was there for her.

Lynn had never been the most caring of her sisters. Leni, Luan and Luna had always been the ones that consented Lincoln the most. Specially when they were all younger, they tended to hug him more, to kiss him more than her. Lynn, even if she did loved her brother like the rest, had always been a little more reluctant to those things. But kneeling before him in that park, knowing that it would be one of the last times she could stare at that face, she didn't hesitated. She grabbed him by his cheeks, kissed his forehead and then she hugged him. It wasn't a gripping, it wasn't a grab, it wasn't violent. It was a hug that came from her soul.

By the time they broke their hug, school must've been over, since they saw a lot of boys with their school bags walking through the park.

"We can't stay here forever" said Lincoln, who actually felt like he could keep hugging his sister for a much longer time than he was willing to admit.

"Why not?"

"Well… Mom's surely worried about us."

"I'll call her. I'll tell her that I'm with you, and that she can ground me when we're back. She can lock me in my room for a month, I don't care."

"And what do you want to do then?" He asked, with a faint smile.

"To be with you" Lynn said, staring at him. "I've got money. Do you want to have lunch? Do you want to go to…? I don't know, the comic book's store? The arcades?"

"You don't know how to play video games" he commented, raising an eyebrow.

"But… You… You could… teach me?" She shyly asked, taking advantage of the fact that she was wiping her tears with her sleeve to hide her face.

Lincoln smiled, and Lynn knew that any punishment would be worth it just for having the opportunity of seeing her brother smile like that.

"Let's go" he said, standing up and extending a hand to help her. "There's this new Deluxe Combo at Burpin' Burger I'd like to try. And I have a lot to teach you about video games."

She smiled too. She took Lincoln's hand to help her stand up, and she didn't let it go until the cashier gave them their two Deluxe Combos.

* * *

.

.

 _Lol, I didn't even re-read this. It was too long, so probably full of mistakes. But t_ _here's something else I've been having trouble with, besides grammar and typos, and you may be noticing it. There are a lot of tears in this story. I mean, I'm running out of ways to describe characters crying, hugging each other and just silently staring at something. But I feel like I can't just not write how utterly devastated Lynn is about her little brother dying without crying. It's just logical for them all to cry. Still, they all have their unique character arc, so I don't think it's a problem yet that they're all crying and feeling devastated (which is natural). I mean, Luan was her insecurities and the sensation that there's no point in laughing in a world without Lincoln, and Lynn was carrying such a tremendous guilt on her shoulders that made her look for a fight anyway, needing to beat and be beated to carry that weight better. I hope you understand that I just can't ignore the pain and the tears._

 _Oh, and there's something I forgot to mention in the last chapter. Idk if you watched it, but there's a video on the official TLH Instagram where Lincoln says that Ronnie Anne is not really his girlfriend, at least not officially. That for now they're just friends. This broke mayheam in the fandom, but I got kinda happy, because that video proved my theory right about Lincoln and Ronnie Anne liking each other but not being an item yet._

 _I thought this chapter was going to be a lot shorter, so I'm probably not being cautious when I say that next chapter will probably be shorter. But anyhow, next chapter will be the first part of one of the sister's arc, so it'll probably be shorter... I hope._

 _Oh, and, thank God Lincoln won't be having the flu! Lisa's a really good sister, right?_

 _So, have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year, I'll see you on 2017 with Chapter 13 of Requiem for a Loud: "Unplugged"! See ya!_


	13. Unplugged

**Hello, people! I hope you all had a merry christmas and a happy new year.**

 **Five months and a few days ago, I published Requiem's first chapter. Five months! Wow. If we don't count November (it was a hiatus thanks to my college), that means 13 chapters in 4 months. I'm over 110K words written, which is a pretty long. And that's just the english version...**

 **I'd like to thank Alejindio and eagc7 (check their word on DeviantArt). They made some really beautiful art about my stories, and they're awesome. Thank you.**

 **And speaking of tributes! There's a new story here in FF called "Remembering Lincoln", and it's the author's interpretation of how this story (Requiem for a Loud) might end. He chose the "Lincoln finally dies" route. It's a very nice read, I enjoyed it, but I would only like to point out that it's not mine, and that's just how he interpretated this might end. It's not canon, hahaha, so keep that in mind. My end has been decided a long time ago and I'm sticking to my storyboard, even if some of you want Lincoln to die and some others want Lincoln to live. The decision has been made, and you'll have to wait for it.**

 **But enough chit chat! Let's go with the mentions:**

 **erica-phoenix16, Omega Ultra, Secret life of writing, Thunderstrike16, littlealexmartinez61910, Gumball2, celrock, ElectricLoud, BoukenDutch, The Critik, D-Structs, Emperor of Performances, Crazyforeverything, TexasGunKing, ExMarkSpot, FanficFan920, CapitalClassShip, Mini-Crushies, MikeTheHuman113, Samtastic 3-0, Codymitchell1, Purple, FrofeeTrush, ImpossibleJedi4, Emma, Red the Pokemon Master, Grim-XIII, Ash Sayin, Insane Wise-man, Hand dvxhdb, LoudSin, October Jack101, Boshwa, endeavor-NeverEnding, Normallyle, thehardboiledhit, The Wannabe WriterOriginal, STR2D3PO, Haven shultz, Jazz, Gunnrexx, SilvaBittah01 and all those anonymous guests!**

* * *

.

 **Chapter 13: Unplugged.**

.

It was about five in the afternoon when Lynn and Lincoln were walking back home. They had spent the whole day together, with nothing else bothering or interrupting them. She'd called their mother to tell her that she was with Lincoln, that they would be coming back home later, and that she then would accept whatever form of punishment they thought she deserved. Rita was not happy at all at first, but she didn't need too much incentive to allow them to spend an afternoon together. They had lunch, Lincoln took her to the arcades, and they finally went to another park, sat on a seesaw and started to talk. They talked for hours. Lincoln couldn't have been happier: Lynn was giving him the most precious thing, something that Lincoln hadn't really worried about in the past, but that now he knew it was the best gift you could give to someone.

Time. Shared time. The chance to talk, to be heard, to listen what the other person had to say. To understand and know his sister better. He was deeply surprised when she started to talk and told him all her secrets. Everyone in the Loud house loved Lincoln, but he was still an eleven years old boy, so there were many things his sisters weren't fond of sharing with him. But this time, when he simply asked Lynn to talk about herself, the girl put all the cards on the table.

He was surprised to find out there was another Lynn besides the one he knew. It was a Lynn that would love to learn to cook but never found time to practice, a Lynn that had tried to polish her nails last week but she didn't know how to do it and was too embarrassed to ask anyone to teach her, a Lynn that confessed she had a crush on a boy from her tennis class but wouldn't dare to talk with him because she didn't consider her neither pretty enough or "developed enough" —textual words that were accompanied with a hand gesture in front of her chest. Lincoln always boasted about how he knew his ten sisters better than anyone else in the world, but that little chat with Lynn made him realize that while he indeed knew them better than anyone, there were many layers about them that he wasn't aware of.

"Well, I know how to cook" Lincoln said, kicking the ground to lift himself up after Lynn's monologue. While he was going up and she was going down, their eyes met each other's.

He promised to teach her how to cook his special strawberry muffins. And he also told her that he knew how to polish nails, that he would be more than happy to explain everything about it to her. And as he was going up again, he told her not to worry about "that subject" —textual words he said as he looked elsewhere and his finger pointed at the general zone he was referring to—, that she was beautiful and only an idiot wouldn't want to be with her.

He patiently waited five minutes in the air until Lynn was recovered and she could kick the ground on her side of the seesaw.

Lincoln knew that all these things he was promising Lynn were not listed on his already long bucket list, but he was convinced that he would find the way to arrange his calendar so they could fit. That was precisely what he needed, what he wanted: the chance of spending some special bonding time with his sisters. If he could also do things such as teach Lynn how to cook, do something that would change them and could be part of his legacy, then much better.

When she stopped smiling at her brother's words, she also started to ask him questions. Mainly, she was asking what he intended to do these days. She didn't need to say that they were going to be his lasts. She just said "these days". She didn't need to insist much until Lincoln told her some details about Operation Farewell. They had to leave the seesaw, for Lynn's legs were suddenly out of strength and she could no longer push herself up in the air. They sat on a bench and Lincoln tried to explain her a little about what he was planning to do. He didn't tell her the motivation behind all of it, he simply told her that he had listed down some things that he wanted to do, and that many of them were related with his sisters. Lynn didn't say anything. She seemed to be holding back something, a comment or an opinion, but she kept it for herself. She just nodded and held Lincoln's hand.

Some minutes later, after a last minute visit back to the mall so Lincoln could buy a few things, both of them were walking down the Franklin Avenue, getting closer and closer to number 1216. Not giving a single care to the fact that the neighbors could see them, Lynn walked holding Lincoln's hand and with her head on her brother's shoulder. They walked in silence, both of them lost in the moment and their thoughts, until Lynn stopped dead on her tracks. Lincoln stopped walking too and turned to see his sister. She was intensely staring at a tree, and he knew right away what was going through her mind.

Behind that tree, he two of them had changed again and again for a whole season so Lynn could replace him in the football team. It hadn't been much, really, but those short minutes while they were dressing up and changing the football uniform had been theirs only, very personal moments in which they had talked, they had laughed, and that they were surely going to remember for the rest of their lives. In Lincoln's case that wasn't really much of a feat, but still…

He let her stay there for some minutes, alone with her thoughts, until he finally spoke again.

"We should get going" he said, gently caressing Lynn's hand.

She sighed and slightly nodded. They started to walk again, and it was then, when their house roof became visible, that Lincoln remembered that he had to remind her of something.

"Lynn, I had an awesome time with you today."

She nodded, but she didn't show any kind of enthusiasm. She was probably understanding where he was going with those words.

"I love being with you, and we still have a lot of things to do" he assured her. "But… When we're back at the house… Lucy and the twins don't know it yet. We need to pretend everything's okay. We can't go in like this."

And as he said the last thing, he pointed at where they were holding hands. Lynn heavily sighed and released her grip on Lincoln's hand. They were about to keep walking, but she couldn't resist the temptation any longer and she hugged him with all the tenderness and delicacy as she could manage, while giving him a very long kiss on his cheek. He smiled and hugged her too.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. But, can I bunk with you? Just for tonight?" She asked him, not moving a centimeter away from him.

"I don't know Lynn… The girls could get suspicious."

"They won't!" She quickly said. "Let me take care of that. Please, just one night."

Lincoln didn't need to think it very much. She knew that Lynn wanted to spend more time with him, and he wanted to spend more time with her too. Besides, he remembered how he'd slept the night before with Luan. He had felt in peace, protected, safe. He wanted to sleep like that again, without any worries in the world. The only inconvenient was that his room had a brand new calendar and his goal lists. He'd told her about it, yes, but he didn't want her to read it all. Although… He didn't really had anything to hide there.

"Alright" he finally said, and Lynn smiled like she'd just won a championship. "But no Dutch Ovens!"

* * *

The music was filling the garage. The glasses and the walls were vibrating at the rhythm of the sounds of the recorded drums and bass that were coming from the amplifiers. Those were some bases that she'd recorded a long time ago, so she could always have something to improvise on when there was no musician nearby to help her. It was a pretty catchy funk base, and she was improvising with her electric guitar. The truth is that she didn't use to play funk. She liked it, yeah, it was an interesting fusion of different rhythms and it was really funny to improvise over it, but it was her favorite rhythm.

Her true passion was rock. She loved rock, specially hard rock. But the last three times she had tried to play something from that particular genre she had ended up playing _"Hole in my soul"_ by _Aero is Myth_ , _"November Rain"_ by _Rhymes 'n' Proses_ and _"So far away"_ by _Avengers Eightfold_. Songs that she had loved all her life, songs that she knew from the first note to the last stop. Now, however, she was listening them in a different way. They were no longer simple bitter love songs and songs about loss, they were much more. Now they were songs that she could identify with, song with which she could relate with, and that's not what she was looking for. She wanted to disappear, to let the music carry her to a galaxy far, far away, to a different dimension, to nirvana, where nothing could get to her, where none of her problems could follow there. Wasn't that what music was all about? Wasn't that the very purpose of art, to distract the mind from the boring and sad real world and take it to a new world, a limitless place where she could feel safe? She was trying to escape from reality.

But no matter how hard she tried to dissimulate what was happening, to ignore what was going on, she couldn't do it. It was like a string that was only one half tone out of tune. The chord was still identifiable, many people could overlook it, but there was a slight vibration that was out of place, and a trained ear could detect it. Unfortunately for Luna, her ear was perfectly trained. She had an almost robotic hearing. She could be sitting at the nineteenth row in an open auditorium listening to a forty six instruments symphonic orchestra, and she would still notice that the third violin had its second string slightly out of tune. Her ears were just that good in recognizing sounds and music. And that's why she knew exactly right away what was wrong with the way she was playing.

She was playing minor chords.

She stopped playing midway into her last lick and checked her fingers. She should be playing a C chord. She was improvising, so it wasn't really an obligation, but the bass was making a melody in the key of C. Why, then, was her hand playing a C minor? Her muscle memory was so well trained that she didn't even need to think about the chords to play them. Her left hand reacted instinctively and played the right chord, everytime. But her subconscious was making her play minor chords instead of the major ones she was supposed to play. She didn't need to know that much theory –which she did knew, by the way– to know realize that it was because minor chords were mostly used to give a sad tone to the songs.

Luna sighed and stepped closer to her computed. She turned the funk base off and the garage was suddenly in silence. She sat in a brench and sighed again. She started to think in the immense amount of mistakes she was lately making while playing with her guitar. Her mind was working again, and right away it found the way to make her feel miserable again. She thought about major chords, which made her think about happy songs, that made her remember all the good times she had had while playing the guitar, and the first thing that came to her mind was being in her room, doing a private show there with Lincoln as the only member of the crowd, clapping and cheering her up.

Her heart was teared apart once again, and she quickly prepared her guitar so she could start playing. She had been playing almost non-stop for several days by now. While she was playing, her mind was busy thinking about scales, harmonies, melodies and intricate solos, riffs and licks. They all came out naturally, but even so, there was still a minimum grade of mental compromise, a certain amount of focus required. And as long as she was focused on the music, she avoided to think about Lincoln. That's why she barely came out of the garage or her room, the only places where she could play without being bothered by anyone. Every minute she spend without playing an instrument was a minute where she started to think, and every time her mind started to think she pictured her brother, and she remebered that soon enough he would be no longer reading comic book in his room. He would be _knocking on heaven's door_.

She pressed the strings against the neck so hard that she could've broken it in two. She took a deep breath and tried to play anything, the first thing that came to her mind. She saw the garage floor and relized how dirty it was, and the song suddenly appeared, her fingers started to dance aroung the frets and her voice accompained the soft plucking.

" _I look at the floor, and I see it needs sweeping; still my guitar gently weeps..._ "

Well, she hadn't even lasted two verses without ruining her mood. With trembling hands, she started to put aside her instruments and to unplug her amps. It was ten past five, a good time to have a snack and then start to get ready for the night. She was still waiting Chunk's confirmation, but he'd told her that everything was practically arranged. And even if he didn't confirm anything to her, she wasn't going to stay home on a Friday night. No, she needed some relief, and she knew exactly where to go.

She went into the kitchen and sneaked a peek inside the frigde when the entry door was opened.

"Lynn!" Yelled Lola.

Right away, she and Lana approached the newcomer and surrounded her, firing question after question at her. Luna closed the fridge and went to the entry hall. Lynn had her back against the door, trying to push the twins off. The headmaster and the teachers had tried to keep it a secret that Lynn had beaten the hell out of one of his classmates and then ran out of school. So, naturally, both Middle and High School knew everything about it.

Lynn looked away from her little sisters for a second and locked her eyes with Luna's. Just like the rest of the family, the older girl was deeply worried about what had happened, but she wasn't Lynn's mom, and she wasn't Lori neither, so she wasn't going to lecture her or something. She just made a gesture, as if asking if everything was alright. Lynn dropped her eyelids and nodded so slightly that the twins didn't even notice it. That was all that Luna cared about, that she was alright.

And then she turned around and saw Lincoln.

"Hey, bro."

He was staring at Lynn from the stairs. Luna was getting used to seeing him so tired and fragile, but that didn't mean that it was easier or less painful to see him like that. He smiled at her anyway and waved a hand, while the other one was carrying several bags from the mall.

"Hi, Luna" he said.

She stepped closer and stopped right next to him.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Great, great", answered Lincoln, "a little tired, but otherwise well."

"Oh, I see", she said. She had been about to ask him to come with her to the garage to maybe sing along. "So, uh... you've been with Lynn, huh?"

She asked that last thing almost in a whisper. Lately, a lot of thing had to be said or done in silence in the Loud house, specially if there was a young sibling around. Lincoln's smiled hesitated, and his gaze was lost in Lynn once again.

"Yeah. She needed me today" he simply said.

Luna's fingers started to drum on her thighs, as an old pop song casually started to play on her mind.

 _And I need you now, tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on, forever_

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind from that tune.

"What's that, dude?" She suddenly asked, pointing a finger at the mall bags he was carrying. "Went shoppin'?"

"Oh, this?" He said, a little nervously, lifting the bags for a second and then hiding them behind his back. "It's nothing... just some stuff I needed."

"Oh."

"Yep."

"I see."

"Right."

She used to chat with Lincoln everyday. At least once a day, she would go to his room and simply ask him how was he doing. Up until last week, the two of them had been really closed, they shared a lot of time together and they had a blast everytime, but now it was like they'd ran out of words, like they couldn't improvise a conversation anymore. The problem, Luna believed, was that they both knew that behind their words hid a conversation that none of them wanted to have. An issue that was there, that they didn't want to touch, that they had to keep a secret, but that, at least for Luna, was getting harder and harder to conceal.

"Well, I guess I'll just go to my room" she finally said, feeling like she wouldn't be able to draw some more words from him. With a last smile, or at least a smile attempt, she turned around and started to climb up the stairs.

"Wait" he stopped her, grabbing her by the wrist when she walked past him.

Luna turned around to see him. He seemed to be deciding what to say. He remained in silence, clearly looking for the right words. Finally, he sighed and looked her in the eye.

"Just... You know I love you, right?" He asked, although in an odd, resigned way, like he knew he'd just made a dumb question.

Luna felt warmth inside of her, like different notes getting in harmony to become a beautiful chord. With a big smile, she caressed her brother's hair and gently kissed his forehead.

"I love you too, Lincoln. _You're my Wonderwall_ " she said, before resuming her way to her room.

As her steps drove her closer to her room and away from Lincoln, her smile slowly started to fade. By the time she opened her bedroom's door and closed it behind her, she was bitting her lower lip to keep it from shaking so bad. She looked around her room and was thankful that Luan wasn't there. She felt like a baloon that kept being inflated, she was filled with emotions and sensations that she could no longer tolerate. She needed to release the pressure, to let those feelings abandon her, to expel that oppresive sensation on her chest. She needed to play something.

She went straight to her keyboard. She turned it on, configured it so it sounded like a traditional piano, and she played a song that she had been avoiding from the very beggining of this tragedy, a song that had been on her mind since that damn Monday morning. She had supressed it, but right then, she needed it. As her fingers started to softly press the piano keys, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and sang, skipping the first verse and going straight to the chorus.

 _Here comes goodbye  
_ _Here comes the last time  
_ _Here comes the start of every sleepless night  
_ _The first of every tear I'm gonna cry  
_ _Here comes the pain  
_ _Here comes me wishing things had never changed  
_ _And he was right here in my arms tonight  
_ _But here comes goodbye_

Her fingers remained on the last chord, letting the sound slowly fade away. When she lifted her hands from the keys, she realized they were shaking like she'd been swimming in a pool in the South Pole. She breathed in and opened up her eyes. Before playing, she felt like she was about to explode, and now she felt terribly empty. A void of darkness inside of her, like a black hole right on her heart, a vortex of infinite nothingness that was trying to drag her there.

And she was about to let herself be dragged. Her room was empty, no one would see her. She was two seconds from letting go all those tears she had been trying to conceal for these last few days, but the bedroom door was suddenly kicked open.

Lola stormed into her older sister's room, violently shuting the door behind her. She was frowning and her lips were so pressed together that her mouth was only a thin line. She walked with her eyes fixed on the floor, and went straight to the window without even glancing at Luna, which gave the rocker some time to put herself together and pretend that she wasn't about to cry. The little princess was stomping her way inside the bedroom, like she was trying to kill a colony of cockroaches.

"You okay, sis?" Asked Luna, hoping that her voice sounded normal.

Lola didn't answer. She just stood next to the window, facing away from Luna.

"I'm gonna ask you something, and you will answer me with the truth" the girl slowly informed Luna, still looking through the window.

Luna rolled her eyes. Her rock spirit made her a rebel by nature. She did what her parents told her because she didn't want to get grounded, and every once in a while she heeded Lori because she kinda respected her. But, taking orders from Lola? That wasn't happening.

"What do you want?"

She saw Lola's gloves shriveling up around her fists because of how strong she was clentching them. She was waiting for the girl to have a little tantrum, a little show of rage that would probably end up in Lola throwing her tiara at her and demanding her apologizes for something she didn't even do.

"Why do you all prefer Lana?"

Luna opened her eyes as much as her eyelids allowed her to after hearing that. She stared at Lola, whose whole body seemed to be shaking. But Luna now knew that it wasn't because she was angry or upset. Luna stood up from her keyboard stool and walked near her sister.

"What are you saying, dude? No one prefers Lana."

"Yes you do!" She yelled, still not looking at her. "All of you! Leni, Lynn, you, even Lincoln! You all like her better!"

Luna and Lola usually didn't spend much time together. They shared a lot of moments, obviously, just like the whole family, but her shared time wasn't that much compared with the time they spent with the rest of their siblings. Luna couldn't read Lola like she could with the rest of her sisters. But she was the third oldest, and she had dealt with younger sisters problems her whole life, so she had her methods.

She grabbed her acoustic guitar and stepped closer to Lola. She put an arm around her and lifted her up in the air.

"Hey! What gives?" She asked, turning her face to stare at Luna with a mixture of surprise and anger.

Luna carried her to the bean bag in her room and let herself fell onto it. She sat Lola on her lap and put the guitar in front of the young princess, trapping her between her older sister and the instrument. Even if she was a little uncomfortable, Luna managed to start playing a soft melody.

"Alright, little one" she softly said, "why don't you tell me what happened?"

Lola continued to look at her a little angry for a couple of seconds. Then, her face relaxed. She looked forward and made herself comfortable in Luna's lap, leaning against her.

"Lana and I were just fighting" she started, with the guitar melody as a perfect, relaxing background music.

The relationship between Lana and Lola had always been complicated. They loved each other and they played together everyday, almost all the time. But they also fought a lot. This last week, though, they were fighting more often, harsher, and for the stupidest things. Luna wondered if the new atmosphere in the house wouldn't be affecting them somehow.

"What were you fighting about now?" She asked.

"I... I don't know."

"You don't know why you were fighting?"

"We were asking Lynn about what had happened, because we overheard mom and dad talking about grounding her, and then Lana starte to speak over me, and I told her to shut up, and she glared at me, and then we were both fighting on the floor."

"And what happened?"

"Lynn came between us and pulled us apart" she continued. "We argued a little more, and then Lincoln came closer and told us to stop fighting. He always says that, and then he always suggest something the three of us can do, together. But... But this time he asked Lana to help him plant some stupid thing in the backyard."

Luna felt her sister shivering on her lap, as the guitar strings continued to sound.

"And just because of that you believe Lincoln likes Lana more than you?" She calmly asked.

"He obviously prefers her!" Said Lola. "Why didn't he ask me to go too?"

"Well, gardening isn't really your thing, right?"

"So what? If he's inviting Lana he should invite me too! Why is he ignoring me?"

"Lola, don't you think you're overreacting a little bit?"

"No!" Lola yelled, and she sharply turned around on Luna's lap, looking at her. "No one ever wants to come to my tea parties, but you all help Lana with her mud piles! No one wants to drive my car while I practice my waving, but you're always helping Lana with... with whatever she wants to do! The only... The only one who always had time for me was Lincoln, but... But now he prefers her too."

Lola's delineated eyes started to twinkle, and her eyelashes were moving rapidly to avoid crying. Luna now understood what was bothering her little sister. She put her guitar aside.

"Lola" she said, putting her hands on Lola's cheeks. "Lincoln loves you just as much as he always did. He wasn't traded you for Lana, or anything. That's absurd! None of us thinks that you're less fun or less likeable than Lana."

"Then why do you all prefer her?"

"No one does. Do you really believe that we all play in the mud with her every single time she asks us to? We seldom do, really. Actually, I'm pretty sure that we all go to more tea parties with you than mud wars with Lana."

"But when you're playing with me you're always frowning, and when you're with Lana you smile and you have fun" complained Lola.

"Maybe that's because you force us to play with you" Luna replied. "You can't coerce us into everything you want to do, Lola, we end up doing it without really wanting to. If you waited for us to really want to play with you, then we would all end up having more fun."

Lola kept staring at her for a few seconds and then looked down. She was about to cry. Luna mentally cursed herself. Lori could surely calm Lola down. Even Lincoln would find the way to cheer her up.

"For example, right now I'd love to attend a tea party" she said, determined to cheer her little sister.

Lola didn't seem to be very enthusiastic about it.

"You just want to make me feel better" she whispered.

"Yeah, it's true" Luna admitted, before lifting her up as she stood up, "but that doesn't mean we can't have a blast."

Finally, Lola smiled and hugged Luna.

They both left the room and went into the hall, heading to a tea party in Lola's bedroom. But as they were walking there, Lynn and Lucy's bedroom door was opened, and a very angry Lynn walked out of it, telling at her sister.

"You better find my special baseball bat! You hear me, Lucy? Until then, I'm not staying in the same room as you! I'll be bunking with Lincoln!"

* * *

Lana couldn't be more happy.

She didn't even remember having a fight with Lola; that was just everyday stuff, she couldn't worry about every single fight they had. She may have stayed upset for a while if it wasn't for Lincoln. He had asked her to help him plant a tree. A new tree in the backyard! That was awesome.

She usually help her dad with the gardening, and she had planted some flowers in the past. But, a tree? Like, a real tree? That was something new! She could already picture what a new tree in the backyard would look like. It was going to produce a big shadow, and that would attract a lot of bugs. And if the tree had some good branches and a nice foliage, then maybe some birds would build their nests there. And what if it ended up being like a apple tree? Then there would definitely be a lot more worms! Lincoln had had a great idea.

"So where do you want to plant it?" Asked Lana, dragging along her special shovel.

"I don't know. I think I'd like it if you could see it from the kitchen and the rooms" he said, with dreamy eyes.

"Of course, so we can all see from upstairs if it's avaiable to play on it! I like the way you think, Lincoln!"

"Yeah... That's why I meant."

He sounded a little vague, like he was somewhat distracted, but Lana didn't blame him. Planting a tree was really exciting.

She started to run around the backyard, looking for the best spot to plant it. Everytime she founded a nice spot, she stopped there and looked at the house, making sure that it could be seen from all the rooms. It was kinda hard to really picture that, since she was only a little less than three feet tall, and trees were pretty big, but she tried her best. Finally, she foudn the perfect spot in a place that wouldn't bother anyone.

"Lincoln, Lincoln, over here!" She called him, waving her arms with excitement.

Lincoln walked over there with a smile.

"You like it here?" She asked.

"I think it's perfect."

"Great! Let me just start digging!"

She grabbed her little shovel and started to dig. She loved digging, to feel the wet earth on her fingers. She would've digged with her own hands, but this was the first time she ever planted a tree, so she wanted to do it right. As she was digging, Lincoln sat next to her.

"Lana, I bought this tree for all of you guys" Lincoln told her.

"For us? Really?" She asked, stopping her digging for a second to smile at him. "But, wait, not for you?"

"Consider it as a gift" he said, not answering her question. "I don't want it to replace our old tree, but I think this one's gonna be taller and it'll give more shadow. It may be a nice place for you to sit down and relax when you're sad or upset."

"You think we could climb it? The other one doesn't have low branches" she commented, as she resumed her digging.

"I guess so, I don't know really."

"Cool!"

She kept going for a few minutes until Lincoln told her it was enough. He then grabbed a bag with the mall's green-house logo. He opened it and Lana saw what seemed to be a pair of pods full with seeds.

"Wow! Are those the seeds?"

"Yeah. It's a boxelder maple. It grows fast and it's easy to take care of. You just have to water it once a day, twice if it's really sunny."

Lana took mental notes about those instructions. It was pretty easy, just to water it once a day. She was in charge of over seven pets, and she knew by heart all their specific feeding habits. She wouldn't have a problem taking care of that tree. She stretched her hand as if to grab the pods, but Lincoln stopped her.

"Hey, can I plant the first one? It's... It's something special" he said, acting a little weird.

Lana glanced at him a little confused. Why was he acting so strange? But then she realized this was the first time Lincoln planted a tree, too, and that he would be probably as excited as she was. Who would've known? Lincoln liked gardening too, after all.

"Of course, Lincoln! Do the honors!" She said with a smile, stepping aside.

Lincoln took his time to put the seeds in the hole. Then he gave Lana some seeds, and she threw them there too. They both took a step back, and she filled the hole again with her shovel.

"How long will it take to grow?" She asked, highly interested, picturing herself playing on the new tree branches.

"It grows up pretty quick. In just a year it can grow a little over three feet."

"Three feets in a whole year?" She complained. "I thought it would be as high as the house in like a month!"

Lincoln chuckled.

"Lana, it'll need some time to grow, but then it will last many, many years. And that's why" he said, kneeling in front of her, "I entrust you to take care of it as it grows."

"Me?" Asked Lana, confused. "Why me?"

"Because I know how much you like trees, and I know you'll make an excellent job making sure that it grows strong and healthy."

"But won't you take care of it too?"

"Well... You know how I am" said Lincoln, looking away from her eyes. "I'm pretty careless sometimes, and maybe... Maybe I won't have time to take care of it as it deserves. That's why I'd love if you could do it for me."

Lana felt confused. Lincoln was sometimes careless, yes, but he wasn't dumb. He could take care of a tree if he really wanted to. Besides, why would he buy a tree if he was going to give it to his sisters and then he wouldn't take care of it? He was acting really weird. However, even if Lana didn't fully understand her brother, she was really happy. He was entrusting her with a mission. He was asking her to do it because he trusted her and he was sure that she would do an excellent job.

"Alright, I'll take care of it. And I'll make sure that it's the biggest, tallest and best tree in the whole city!" She said, opening her arms wide to emphasize her words. "It'll be so tall we will see it from school!"

"Of course it will" Lincoln assured her.

"And you know what? When it gets tall and strong enough, maybe we can build a tree house there! You ould help me, and it would be ours! Yours and mine, so we can go there and play, and you can read your comics."

Lincoln put a hand on her red cap and playfully shook it a little, making her laugh.

"I like that you're always thinking that enthusiasticly" he said with a smile. "Never lose all that energy and optimism you have."

"Pff, why are you talking like dad when he gives us those boring speeches?" She asked.

"You're right. I guess I am sounding like dad" he simple said, before standing up. "Alright, it was fun to plant the tree with you. Do you happen to know where Luan is? I need her help with a little video project."

"She was in the attic looking for some prank stuff" Lana said, grabbing her shovel and cleaning it on her overalls. "I'll put some stakes around it so Charles and Cliff don't step on it."

"Perfect. And Lana..."

Lincoln grabbed her from her armpits and lifted her high enough to give her a little kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Lincoln" she said, giggling and wiping her cheek with her hand.

Lincoln went inside the house, leaving Lana alone in the backyard. After making sure that her shovel was clean, she went to the garage, where she was hoping to find some wood stakes to make a sort of fence around the newly planted tree. As she was walking to the garage, she gently touched the cheek where Lincoln had just kissed her.

He was the best big brother in the world.

* * *

Finally, at half past seven, Luna received the message she had been waiting from Chunk:

 _All ready, luv  
_ _Get Chloe ready  
_ _You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy_

She hadn't had dinner yet, but she didn't care. She could eat later. Or not, maybe she didn't need to eat at all. Even at the time she already knew how that night was going to end, and food wasn't exactly at the top of her worries. She was lying in her bed, so she jumped down and started to get dressed. She put on her typical outgil, but she changed her belt and her bracelets for some more shinning and striking accessories. She also picked up a necklace with a big musical note in it, and a jacket with handmade fringes on the sleeves.

Lincoln had knitted those fringes.

She then grabbed a guitar case with enough space for all the accessories she needed, and she started to get all the things she needed. She picked up the cables, her picks, some spare strings and, of course, Chloe.

Chloe was the name of her favorite electric guitar. A beautiful star guitar, all purple, with three pickups and pearled frets. It wasn't her first guitar —that was resting in pieces under Lincoln's bed—, but it was her all-time best. Her favorite guitar, the one she took everywhere. The one that had never failed her. She had a special bond with Chloe, it was her most precious possession. A symbol of her bond with rock. She loved it like it was a living thing, like a pet.

She carefully put it inside her case. She then grabbed it, made sure to have some money on her wallet and she left her room. She walked downstairs and into the kitchen, were both her parents were already getting everything ready for dinner.

"Mom? Dad?" She called them.

They turned around and quickly realized she was wearing a jacket and had her guitar case with her.

"Luna? Are you going somewhere?" Asked Mr Loud.

"I'll be playing at the Railway Tavern" she firmly said. She didn't ask for permission. She just informed them her plans.

Her mother looked at the kitchen clock. They usually let her go there to play the guitar in front of an audience, but that was almost always during the day. The seldom let her go out at night since the place, no matter how famous and well known it was in Royal Woods, was still a pub. Alcohol, rock, adults... Luna was a very mature girl, and she might have a rebellious spirit, but she was only fifteen years old. Her parents respected her likes and they let her express herself, but they were deeply worried about their daughter.

"Luna, don't you think it's a little late? We're already getting ready for supper" her mother said.

"Please, it's Friday, I need to go out" she pleaded, with begging eyes.

Her parents exchanged a look.

"I don't know, honey" said Lynn Sr, screatching his head. "We know you can take care of yourself, but... it's different, now. With all that has happened..."

"I know. But that's exactly why I need to go."

They didn't seem to be convinced at all, but they sighed and dropped their shoulders, feeling defeated.

"Luna, listen to me" her father said. "We're all... affected. Terribly affected. And when we feel this way, we sometimes look for solace in the wrong places. With the wrong people."

"Dad..."

"I know you're a big girl, but... Just promise me you won't do anything stupid" he interrupted her, "and that you'll be home before midnight."

Luna smiled and kissed them goodbye.

"I promise you, guys. See ya!"

She left the house, and once she was out, she uncrossed her fingers. She started to run to the nearest bus stop. She would've looked behind, but she didn't want to. She knew that there were people there who loved her and were worried about her.

And she felt very bad for being about to let them down.

* * *

"Railway Tavern" was the name of the most famous English pub in Michigan. A disgusting, ninety square meters, old pub, with its hardwood floor, a constant smell of cigarette, all kinds of paraphernalia about the United Kingdom and the Tottenham Hotspur FC, and a clientele that consisted of old english men who gathered around for some drinks and to discuss everything wrong with Manchester, and young boys and girls who loved music and had that place as their sanctuary.

Luna loved it. It was her second home. Ever since her first guitar teacher told her that he sometimes played there, Luna had experimented a fascination with the little stage that the pub offered to every artist interested in showing what they were capable of. She had had her first concert ever when she was just thirteen years old. It had been on a Sunday afternoon, and her father was there too. She had been extremely nervous. So nervous, in fact, that she broke one of her strings barely five minutes after she started. She hadn't had any spare strings with her, so she was about to leave the stage, when one of the boys working behind the bar let her borrow his own guitar.

"You were blinding out there, mate" said the boy. He was a burly boy, who seemed to be many years older than his actual seventeen years old. "But you look tense, kid. Rock 'n' roll's 'bout havin' fun. So don't worry, just go an' have fun, will ya?"

"Thank you... Er..."

"Chunk" answered him, raising her purple newsboy cap to salute her. "The name's Chunk."

Luna went back on the stage, with a borrowed guitar, and she played for almost an hour without stopping. The people went crazy, cheering her and applauding every one of her solos, but no one was yelling louder than Mr Loud, who actually was standing on her table, dancing at her daughter's rhythm.

Since then, Luna not only had become one of the little celebrities on the pub, the genius girl who could make you feel rousing with any instrument, she had also gotten into the local music radar. Everyone who loved music went to the Railway Tavern, and many door had been opened to her thanks to that. She had met Chunk, who would become one of her best friends despite him being four years older, she had gotten a lot of friends, she'd found her first boyfriend there, and she had even had conversations with some producers of local record labels. The Railway Tavern had changed her life just as much as that Mick Swagger concert. It was a place she always related with good moments, with music, a place where she felt safe.

That night she went there looking for some of that.

She opened the door and was received by Bob Plant's voice as the background music. The bar was unusually full, or perhaps that's how it always was in Friday nights. There was definitely more people than a regular saturday night, when she usually went there. The only time she ver remembered that place being this crowded was, of course, the time she had been forced into going there dressed as Lynn as a punishment for having deceived Pop Pop. That time, the pub had been completely crowded, and Lynn's stupid baseball glove. Lynn hadn't explained her how to take it off, and Luna had broken her strings because of that. A new humilliation, but everyone there found it hilarious.

As she was getting closer to the bar and Chunk, some people started to greet her. They were mostly the regular clientele who knew her from all these years. They were all giving her big smiles, and ocassionally joked that she was too young to be in a pub so late in the night. She was no stranger to alcohol. She'd taken some drinks with her friends, and even with Lori, but she'd never gotten drunk or anything. She laughed at the jokes people made, but a little voice inside her head kept telling her that she was still in time to listen to them and walk away.

She was about to reach the bar when a shapr voice called her name.

"Luna!"

Before she could even turn around, an eleven years old girl was hugging her. She wasn't really tall, but her gellep up hair almost reached Luna's chin, giving her a perfect view of those purple highlights.

"I was waiting for you!" Said the girl, pulling away from Luna and looking at her with excited eyes.

Luna smiled. She knew that kid had her as her idol, and loved her like she was her older sister. She had enough with nine sisters already, but she really liked that girl too.

"What's up, Tabby? How are those riffs coming?" She asked, putting her fist in the air so Tabby could bump it.

"Great! Listen, I came up with this riff that's totally sick, I had to wrote it down as soon as I played it because it was so awesome! You gotta listen to it!"

"I'd love to, Tabby. Just call me up and we can have a jam session."

"You'll see, it sounds amazing, it'll make you feel some _sweet emotions_ " after saying that, she took a hand to her mouth to cover her giggling. "You see what I did there? _Sweet Emotion_ , that's a song by _Aero is Myth_."

"Toys in the Attic, 1975" confirmed Luna.

"Exactly! See? I'm speaking with lyrics too!"

"I wouldn't expect less from Royal Woods future rockstar" she said, winking at her. "But what are you doing here this late?"

"I found out that you were going to be playing here, so I asked my brother to come with him for tonight. He didn't want it ar first, but he knows how much I love to hear you on the stage, so he brought me."

"Cool."

When she looked up, Luna saw Chunk behind the bar, preparing some drinks for a client. She was about to say goodbye to Tabby, but she spoke first.

"So, how's Lincoln doing?"

There it was, that void inside her chest, the sensation that someone was stabbing her with a cold blade.

"Sorry?" She asked, pretending she hadn't heard her so she could have a few extra seconds. But what for? To pull herself together? To pretend that there was nothing wrong? She couldn't do that.

"Your brother, Lincoln. You know, at first I was kinda mad at him for what he did at the Sadie Hawkings dance. But when you told me what had happened, I realized it hadn't been entirely his fault. And I actually had a great time with him. You say that sometimes he helps you practice, right? Do you think the three of us could maybe have a jam sometime?"

Luna's face wasn't showing what was really going on inside of her. It showed a somewhat forced smile, yes, but not even the best detective in the world could figure out the amount of pain she was feeling inside. No one could've known the chills that had settles on her spine, or how weak her legs suddenly became. They couldn't get inside her mind and see the image she was picturing like a movie frame stopped in time: it showed her, playing her guitar alone in the garaje but with no audience. There was only an empty stool, and it would be empty for the rest of her life.

"Yeah, right. We'll see about that, ok? I'll tell Chunk I'm ready."

And without waiting for an answer, she dashed away.

"Oh... Good luck then!" She heard Tabby say over the muttering and the beautiful guitar that was playing a song about a lady buying a _stairway to heaven_.

She quickly got to the bar and stood in front of her friend.

"Chunk."

He turned around and smiled at her.

"Evenin', luv" he said. "Oi, why so stubborn about playing tonight? You know it ain't easy to convince my gaffer to lemme take a break to jam on the stage. Not on Fridays, at least."

"Well, I would've stepped onto stage without you anyway, but it's not the same without drums. So grab your drumsticks and get your fat ass on the stage" she said, a little impatient to take out Chloe and _let the music do the talking_. She wanted to be carried away from that bar, far away from that city, away from that empty stool in the garage.

"I like your energy. Oi, Larry!" He said, calling the other bartender. "It's show time. I'll be right back."

Larry gave him the thumbs up and nodded with a smile. Chunk washed his hands and went into the small stage, where Luna was already preparing the amps. He removed the blanket that was covering the drums and started to adjust the toms and the stool height.

"You didn't answer me, tho'. Why the rush to play tonight?" He asked Luna, while checking if the floor tom's tuning.

She was configuring the amp so she could have the sound she was looking for. She could've done it without looking, but she decided to pretend that she was deeply focused on it.

"Because I need it" she finally said, standing up and putting Chloe's strap over her left shoulder.

When Chunk finished preparing his drums, Luna stepped closer to the microphone. Most of the clientele had already adjusted their seats so they could see the stage better. Luna stood there and stared at the pub. The manager turned off the background music and turned on the stage lights. This new light seemed to surround her, partially hiding everything else. The people had become mere silhouettes, and the pub seemed like a far away place. Luna didn't dare say anything, she enjoyed that sensation, that feeling of being in a different place. It was a dreamlike image, a surreal spectacle. She took a deep breath and tried to focus. A show. She was there to give them a show.

Luna grabbed the mic and her mouth became a giant smile.

"Good evening, Railway Tabern!" She enthusiastically shouted, turning on her guitar and playing a blistering scale that started the first wave of applause. "I'm Luna Loud, and tonight, my rodie Chunk and I will be playing our souls out for you all! Are you ready to rock?"

Everyone in the pub raised their glasses and shouted in conformity.

 _"Stand up and be counted for what you are about to receive!_ " Said Luna. "Chunk, let's start with _International You Day_!"

Chunk spinned his drumsticks on his hand a few times and then started to play the intro of the song Luna had just told him. She waisted no time, and soon enough started to play the classic power chords that defined the song. That little piece of art, one of the punk rock anthems, quickly won the approval of the audience. It wasn't a British song, but they enjoyed good music, and with Luna Loud playing, they had guaranteed quality.

The moment her guitar and Chunk's drums got in tune, Luna felt a cosmic energy grabbing her by the hand and carrying her away from there. There was nothing in the world but herself and her music. She closed her eyes, let the rhythm flow through her, and she started to sing.

 _I'm sorry that it took so long to write this song  
_ _But I gave up  
_ _You see one million words can't describe how it feels  
_ _To know your love_

The people in the pub was excited. They yelled, they clapped and they made them feel their total support. They loved Chunk's double pedal, and both Luna's power chords and her perfect imitation of Tony Shy's legendary voice style. She had picked that song because she knew people would like it, it was a great punk rock song. But, as she kept singing, she wondered whether it had really been a random choice or not.

 _Where did I go wrong?  
_ _I should have told you from the start  
_ _That I'm closer than you think when we're apart  
_ _Nothing that I've tried, is as simple as this line..._

When she got to the chorus, she finally realized why she had picked that song. She was about to lose her rhythym and timing because of the surprise, but she managed to pick it up and go on without any trouble. She kept singing, and every new verse made it clearer for her that she hadn't picked up that song by accident.

The subconscious could be a jerk when it really wanted to. After she went through the chorus, a random memory came to her mind. It was about Lincoln, two years ago, crying in his bed because he had spilled all his juice over his lastest comic, copletely ruining it before he read it. And then Luna opened his bedroom door and got inside. It wasn't a fresh memory. She didn't remember what words she had given him, she didn't remember what he had told her back. The only thing she remember was hugging him, singing him a song and then going to the mall with him to buy him a new comic and an ice cream.

It was sad to think that there was a time where only by singing a song and spending ten dollars she could solve his problems.

 _I'm coming home today  
_ _To wipe the tears right from your eyes  
_ _I'm totally enamored by your life  
_ _Nothing that I've done  
_ _Has ever been for one_

She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Tabby, jumping next to the stage at the guitar rhythm, waving her arms and singing along. She was so happy, so full of energy, so... ignorant. She didn't know what was going on. No one did. If they knew, they wouldn't be so happy and excited, they wouldn't be singing those lyrics so amused. If they knew what was going on, they would be singing them like she did, from her heart, feeling her soul ripping apart with every new line in the final chorus.

 _But without you  
_ _My life is incomplete  
_ _My days are absolutely gray  
_ _And so I'll try  
_ _Let your heart know for sure  
_ _That i have so much more to tell you  
_ _Every single day...  
_ _My life is incomplete  
_ _My rites are absolutely gone  
_ _So wake me up  
_ _Before you leave today  
_ _Something i need to say  
_ _'cause they'll be nothing when you're gone_

She let that last chord slowly fade away. For a second, the vibrating strings were the only sound that could be heard, and then it came the applause. Tabby was rapt, she was screaming like a girl in an amusing park, telling Luna that she was the best one ever. Luna felt like she was in a dream once again, but this time it wasn't because of the lights and the sensation of feeling like she was somewhere else. She felt like she was in a dream because it felt like she was watching a first person movie. She felt like she was getting goosebumps everywhere in her body.

She was barely concious that she pressed down a pedal so her guitar made a clean sound, without distortion, trying to imitate the sound of an acoustic guitar. She almost didn't notice when she told Chuck she would be playin ' _Gone too soon_ ', neither. She just knew that the chords came out of nowhere, playing slowly, every single note trying to sound as clean as possible, and her voice was filled with so much feelings that those who weren't paying attention until then suddenly turned around to see her.

 _Hey there now, where'd you go?  
_ _You left me here, so unexpected  
_ _You changed my life, I hope you know  
_ _'Cause now I'm lost, so unprotected  
_ _In the blink of an eye  
_ _I never got to say goodbye_

She looked back to give Chunk the signal to slowly make his way into the song, and she saw that he was staring at her with his eyes half closed. Of course, he was starting to suspect. It wasn't normal that Luna started playing a ballad unless a couple from the crowd asked her to. It wasn't normal for her to sing with so much feeling. It wasn't normal that her knees seemed to be shaking.

She looked forward once again and kept playing and singing. Usually, when she was on stage, there was nothing on her mind other than music, the beat and the melody. That night, however, her mind seemed to be trying to keep her occupied remembering scenes from the past.

 _You were always there  
_ _Like a shining light  
_ _On my darkest days  
_ _You were there to guide me_

This time the memory was very clear. It had been on last summer. Luke, a boy she had met in a concert and that had became her third boyfriend, had dumped her. The excuse was that their relationship wasn't going anywhere, and that he didn't want to be with her if he wasn't really into it, because that would end up hurting her. Of course, only two days later, Luna saw those pictures of Luke kissing a girl from his school. She was now remembering the afternoon she found out about it. She remembered getting home barely holding back the tears. She went straight to the garage and played her guitar with so much anger that she broke two strings in the same solo. She remembered that after unplugging everything, she sat on the floor and started to cry, while her siblings gathered around her to comfort her, already knowing the news.

"I don't know why I'm surprised" she had told them, wiping her tears. "I should've known he was only changing me for another one. It's always like that, guys only care about you while you're still a novelty. When they finally got you hooked, they get bored and they look for another stupid girl to play with. It's always like that. They're all the same."

The older girls were silently nodding, while the younger ones simply stared at her, a little confused. Then someone spoke.

"That's not true."

Luna looked up, and her sisters stepped away to let Lincoln get closer. He kneeled before her and looked her in the eye.

 _Oh I miss you now  
_ _I wish you could see  
_ _Just how much your memory  
_ _Will always mean to me_

"There are a bunch of jerks. Luke's not the first and he won't be the last boy who acts like an idiot and ends up hurting someone. But you can't put everyone in the same bag. You'll find someone who's worth it. Someone who can realize that, once they have you, they don't need anyone or anything else."

They all let out a big "aaaaw", and Luna hugged him and squeezed him against her, gently stroking his hair.

"You know what, bro? You're right, I can't say that all boys are the same, and that they're all idiots. How could I believe that having you as my brother?"

 _Shine on, shine on, on to a better place  
_ _Shine on, shine on, we'll never be the same  
_ _Shine on, shine on..._

The scene continued for a little longer, but she shook her head to push it away. So many emotions were starting to affect her. She tried to stop thinking in the song, and for a moment she kinda messed up the lyrics, but she recovered just in time for the finale.

 _Like a shooting star  
_ _Flying across the room  
_ _So fast so far  
_ _You were gone too soon  
_ _You're a part of me  
_ _And I'll never be the same here without you  
_ _You were gone too soon_

The song went on repeating the last phrase several times, with energy, with so much feelings. Luna's voice was firm, it didn't shake and it didn't waver. She tried to pretend that everything was alright, that she was just singing a song, nothing more. An artist could sing about anything without getting involved with it. She could sing things she didn't feel. Not every song was based on a true event. The most notable usually did, but there were a lot of songs that just came up out of a metaphor, a random idea, or even as a joke sometimes. In theory, she could be singing such a sad song as the one she just did, and people shouldn't be assuming that she was projecting anything personal, or getting emotionally involved with the lyrics.

It was obvious, though, that the song had affected her in one way or another. For the first time in years, Luna was shaking on the stage. She looked like a scared child. In an instinctive act, she looked at the bottom right tables, where his father had sat on her first concert. She was almost expecting to see hi there, giving her a thumbs up and letting her know that it was all okay. But he wasn't there, there were no thumbs up, and nothing was okay.

That song, that bloody ballad hadn't taken her away from her problems, like she was expecting it to, it had reminded her of them in the most painful way possible. Lincoln was really leaving them all too soon. He was going away to shine on a different place. While she was there, standing on a pub stage, playing to a bunch of random guys, he was in their house, twenty minutes from there. What was he thinking? How was he feeling?

Was he still alive ? What if she got home and Lincoln's body hadn't made it? What if she had missed her last chance of saying goodbye?

Her arms dropped Chloe, and it would've hit the ground if it wasn't for the strap. Her chest was hurting her with every breathing, with every mouthful of air coming into her lungs. She barely registered that the people on the bar started to mutter about her, or Tabby's worried look, or that Chunk was about to stand up and see if she was okay.

Well, she wasn't. Music had failed her. It wasn't making her feel better. It wasn't helping her forget. On the contrary, it was making her feel all the pain she had been trying to conceal for a week, all the pain she had buried inside of her and that now was threatening to erupt like a volcano.

Her soul was out of tune. It was three octaves down. She knew everything was wrong, that the melody was lost. And the worst thing was that there was no tuner to adjust. There wasn't any kind of tuning fork that could help her find the harmony once again. Once Lincoln died, the music would be lost forever.

She felt a single tear leaving her left eye. Probably nobody in the pub noticed it. They were all waiting for Luna Loud, legendary fifteen years old Royal Woods rockstar, to give them a show. They were expectantly waiting for her, a little confused by her attitude. They wanted music, they wanted rhythm, they wanted energy. Luna smiled, almost ironically.

One more night. One last night. A final concert. She could do that.

"You!" She suddenly said at the mic, pointing a man that was sitting at the closest table. "Pass me a beer."

The man smiled. He took a can and passed it to Luna. She catched it, opened it, and started to drink it on the spot. The beer tasted aweful and it made her throat burn, but at the same time she felt a warm sensation inside. She knew that it all had to be psychological, that the beer couldn't be acting so fast. But it was like suddenly she had no more inhibitions, no more doubts.

"Hey! That gal's just a kid! She can't drink beer!" Said a man at the end of the pub.

"Fuck you, Bob!" Said Luna, showing him the middle finger and earning a new round of applause. "Alright, guys, let's wrap it up in a high note. Let's close with _Guernica_!"

" _Gernica_? Really?" Asked Chunk, staring at her a little confused and worried.

"Absolutely! _For those about to rock_!" She said, pressing down her pedal again so Chloe was now playing with distortion.

Chunk and her started to play. The song wasn't as strong as _International You Day_ , but it was clearly stronger than _Gone too soon_. It wasn't a classic, by all means. Tabby, for example, was moving her head at the rhythm of the drums, but she looked confused, wondering what kind of song it was. When Luna started to sing, no one sang along.

 _Ever since I was young your word is the word that always won.  
_ _Worry and wake the ones you love.  
_ _A phone call I'd rather not receive.  
_ _Please use my body while I sleep.  
_ _My lungs are fresh and yours to keep,  
_ _Kept clean and they will let you breathe._

This time there was no doubt about why she had chosen that song. She thought about a dozen songs that she might've chosen, but _Guernica_ was the one that presented the less risk of making her cry on the stage before all that people. She didn't want to be seen so vulnerable. She didn't want to cry in front of anyone. She just wanted them to see her rocking. The Luna Loud they all knew. The one she thought she knew.

 _Is this, the way a toy feels  
_ _When it's batteries run dry?_

Maybe because of the alcohol, or maybe because this time she actively tried to just focus on the lyrics and the chords, or maybe simple because she was resignated, but during that song she managed to get away from it all. No memory came to her this time, no image of Lincoln.

 _Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these,  
_ _So I sat alone and waited out the night.  
_ _The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed.  
_ _So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around  
_ _I'm not writing my goodbyes._

 _I submit no excuse  
_ _If this is what I have to do  
_ _I owe you every day I wake  
_ _If I could I would shrink myself  
_ _And sink through your skin to your blood cells  
_ _And remove whatever makes you hurt  
_ _But I am too weak to be your cure_

For ten glorious minutes, Luna captivated the audience. She sang like she'd never did, taking her singing to a whole new level, making sure that every single word that came out of her mouth felt real. She screamed when she needed to scream, she whispered when she was supposed to. She only took some liberty when it came to the guitar. She lengthened every bridge, she added solos where there wasn't any, she improvised random licks. Chunk managed to follow her lead on the song, that went from it's original three and a half minutes to a ten minutes display of energy and passion like the world had never seen before. People loved her. They were all screaming her name. Many of them even forgot to keep their british accent.

When she finally stopped playing, Luna pondered the possibility of ending the night with a stage dive and maybe a little crowd surf. She was about to do it, but she decided not to. She really wanted to just go away. Usually she didn't play three songs only, but that night was different.

"Good night, Railway Tavern!" She shouted, playing one last chord and letting the sound fade away until it was gone.

The lights went off and Luna stood there, staring at the nothingness, with her guitar hanging from the strap.

"Luna, you a'right?" Asked Chunk, getting closer.

"I'm okay, Chunk."

"You sure, luv? Those songs..."

"I said I'm okay!" She yelled, unplugging her guitar and quickly walking out.

Not wanting to face Tabby —she didn't have the strenght to talk with her right now—, she went straight to the smoke section, outdoors. The pub had a small space outoors that was supposedly where people should go to have a cigarette, but they all smoked inside anyway. Luna didn't smoke, but there was no one that could bother her there...

"You were sick up there."

...yet.

She turned around and saw a bot that was about Lori's age, staring at her with a smile and a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Thanks" she simply said, continuing to look at the boy. She'd seen him a couple of times, she knew that. But this was the first time she ever noticed how attractive he was. He wasn't Hugh, but there was something about him. That old leather jacket, those tight pants, his kinda long and disheveled hair...

"You want some?" He asked, offering his bottle.

Luna thought about it for a second.

"Don't you have an unopened bottle?" She asked with a smug smile. He laughed.

"What? Are you afraid I put something on it?"

"A girl can't be too cautious nowadays" she softly said, stepping closer. "Nothing personal, luv."

"Don't worry. I think I have a six pack in my car" he said.

The beer was starting to affect her, but even in her actual state, her father's voice made its way to her mind: " _when we feel this way, we sometimes look for solace in the wrong places. With the wrong people._ " He was right. She knew he was right. She knew what she was supposed to do.

But she felt terrible. She felt like nothing made sense anymore. She had gone to that bar believing that her music was going to help her forget her problems, at least for one night. Well, music had failed her, but maybe that boy could help.

"And where's your car?" She asked, smiling and waving her eyelashes in a way that was more common for Leni or Lola tan her.

* * *

"We're here."

Matt stopped at the adress Luna had given him. She was sitting on the passenger seat, with her eyes closed, about to fall asleep. He gently shook her.

"What?" She asked, disoriented.

"Your house. We're here", Matt repeated.

"Oh. Thanks, luv."

She took her seat belt off and stepped out of the car. She almost tripped with the curb, but managed to stay in her feet. Laughing at her own clumsiness, she opened the back door and grabbed her guitar case with Chloe inside.

"Listen, do you have any plans for next Friday?" Asked Matt, trying not to sound too interested in her answer.

Luna closed the back door and looked at him through the window.

" _Dream on_ , dude" she said, before smiling and blowing a kiss at him.

He smiled too. He turned on his car and drove down the street, leaving Luna alone in the sidewalk. She had no idea what time it was. She didn't know if there would be someone awake. Probably not. The only thing she was sure of was that she was in serious trouble. Or, actually, she could be, if they caught her. Maybe she would be lucky enough to reach her bedroom without anyone finding out.

Trying to make as little noise as possible, she got to the entry door. She suddenly realized that their door had these three little strips of glass, like little windows. Windows on a door? She found that idea extremely hilarious. She took her key and tried for two whole minutes to put it in the door lock. Why was it so hard?

She finally made it. Carefully, she stepped inside the house. It was all dark, it was all silent. Perfect. She closed the door behind her and turned around. She tip toed until she reached the stairs.

"You're so lucky I'm the one who finds you."

Luna cursed in a whisper. She was doomed. She sighed and smiled at Lori, who was sitting on the couch, without any lights on.

" _Hey, soul sister!_ " She greeted her, trying to sound casual.

"Cut the crap. It's way past two in the morning, Luna" Lori severely said.

Luna sighed again.

"Did you stay awake just so you could be here to lecture me now?" She asked her. "You know how to always spoil the fun, don't you?

"For your information" said Lori, standing up and approaching her little sister", I came here because I can't fall asleep. I didn't even remember that you were out."

Luna said nothing. She tried to go upstairs, but Lori stopped her.

"Luna, you smell of alcohol. Alcohol and..." she sniffed around her and her nose wrinkled with disgust. "Luna, what the hell?!"

She released herself from Lori's grip and started to walk to her room.

"Luna, your skirt's backwards! Who was that guy?!"

"I don't know, Mike, Matt, I didn't catch what he said!"

"Are you literally telling me that you have no idea who brought you home in his car?! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Nothing, that was the bloody point!" She said, stopping in the middle of the hall and turning around to face her sister. "I didn't want to think, don't you get it?!"

"Well, you did an excellent job. Do you have any idea how reckless and dangerous was what you've just did?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lori, but not all of us have your luck, sis."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Asked Lori, squinting her eyes.

"I mean that the rest of us doesn't have a boyfriend so we can go to his house and be all day long there, getting some comfort! The rest of us has to go and pick up a guy if we want a good fuck to forget our problems!"

She heard about seven gasps. Her vision was blurred and she was too focused on Lori to see it, but she knew that all her siblings were eaves dropping the discussion, maybe even poking their heads out. Had she woken them up with her argument with Lori?

Lori was taken aback. At first she didn't say anything. And when she did talked back, she did it much more calmly. She still had a clear mind, so she knew that their conversation was no longer private, and she was trying to keep it down.

"Luna, I'm telling you this because I'm worried about you. You shouldn't... do the things you did. It's dangerous."

"I got news for you: you're not my mother, and I'm not a child."

"You sure act like one!"

"Fuck you!"

New gasps. This time, the door at the end of the hall opened.

"I knew this was going to happen sooner or later" said Lori, shaking her head. "I knew your stupid obsession with rock n roll would take you this way."

"'Stupid obsession'? What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. All your idols preach about getting drunk, getting high and having careless sex, and now you think you should do it too."

Luna clentched her fists. She didn't remember ever being this angry at anyone.

"That's a lie. That's bullshit and you know it! You know very well why I'm feeling like this!" She said, clearly pointing at Lincoln's room. "You know perfectly well that this has nothing to do with rock or music!"

"Of course it does" Lori snapped back, looking at her with anger and disgust. "It's all about music with you. It's all that matters to you."

She coudln't believe what she was hearing. Her older sister, the one who supposedly knew them better, telling her that she only cared about music. How could she say that? How could she even suggest that? If music was all that ever mattered for her, she wouldn't have left the pub. She wouldn't have played only three songs.

If music was all that mattered, she wouldn't be feeling this empty inside for a week now.

"Really? So that's what you think? You thing that I only care for music?" She slowly asked, opening her case and grabbing Chloe. A silent tear left the corner of her eyes, falling down her cheek. "Do you really think that's all that matters to me?"

Lori suddenly came out of her rage trance and realized what she'd said.

"I... No. No, I didn't mean that" she said, staring at the floor. "You know I didn't mean that."

Luna kept staring at her.

She then looked at her side. Lucy and the twins were poking their heads out of their bedrooms. Lisa was also seeing it all with interest. They were all watching her. And Luna knew that, deep down, they all believed that about her. They all thought that she was only defined by music. That music was all that mattered for her.

She looked at Chloe. Purple, polished, shining, with a new set of strings and those beautiful pearled frets. And then she looked over Lori's shoulder, at the end of the hall. That door was opened. Two of her siblings were standing inside. Lynn, at the back, looking confused. And before her, Lincoln, her brother, staring at her with tired eyes and a worried look. He seemed to understand what she was going to do before everyone else, and he tried to silently tell her not to do it.

But Luna couldn't allow her whole family to think of her like that.

"Yes. You meant it" she told Lori.

She looked at Chloe once again, her favorite guitar. Then she grabbed it by the neck, raised it over her head and with one quick motion she smashed it against the floor. All her siblings jumped in their place, and some of them let out a cry of surprise.

Only one smash was enough to break the neck in two parts and to dislodge it from the body, which was also broken in two near the bridge and the pickups. The broken strings jumped everywhere, scratching her arms. She ended up holding a piece of chipped wood that was once part of the neck of her favorite guitar. She softly thew it next to Lori's feet, who was staring at her in disbelief.

The noise coming from downstairs meant that her parents were awake now, probably because of the sound of a guitar smashing against the floor. But Luna didn't care. She took a step forward, stopping inches away from a startled Lori. She then put her hand in such a way that Lori's own body shield it from their younger sister's sight, and pointed right in Lincoln's direction.

" _Nothing else matters_ " she snapped through gritted teeth, before turning around and heading to her room. She walked past Luan and threw herself in her bed without even changing her clothes.

The noise from the hall muffled the sound of her cries.

* * *

.

 **.**

 **I could make a smaller chapter with all the deleted scenes from this one. Luna's concert was actually longer, but I thought it was coming off like too dense, so I deleted some stuff. And there were another scenes I deleted just because the chapter was getting longer and longer. So I sticked with what I thought was most important. And sh*t, you DON'T want to know how many music references I let out, hahahaha. But don't worry, many of them will appear on chapter 14.**

 **So, listen, after posting this chapter I created a Tumblr account. You can find me as "underratedhero". There are so many of you asking me questions, and FF is not the right platform to do it. So I'll use Tumblr to try to answer you all the best I can, to share some of my drawings with you, and maybe give you a little sneek peaks for upcoming chapters. But, you know, I've just created it, so right now it's literally empty.**

 **So... um... Well, the twins scenes were pretty necessary. And this isn't the last we've seen of Tabby.**

 **So I'll see you on Requiem for a Loud Chapter 14: "The show must go on".**

 **See ya!**


	14. Show must go on - Part I

**Hey, there. It's a pleasure to bring you a new chapter. The last one was pretty intense, judging by your reactions, hahaha. I gotta confess that I read the paragraph where Luna smashes her guitar dozens of times, and I actually felt like it was a perfect way to end the chapter, with a strong, impactful scene like that. But that's probably because I f***ing love guitars. And about Luna's escapade with Matt, I actually didn't see it as bad as some of you said it was, hahaha. But every interpretation is valid.**

 **Just two things before we start:**

 **First, thank you all for making this story reach 500 reviews! I'm positively stunned.**

 **And second, I posted this on Tumblr ('underratedhero'), but this chapter was divided in two. It was going to be incredibly long, even by my standards, so I decided to divide it in two. This first part has almost 8K words, so it's not that it's really short or anything. It's about the same lenght that the first seven chapters of this fic, a little more even. I hope you can still enjoy it.**

 **And now, with the special thanks:**

 **Boris Yeltsin, Omega Ultra (** _what's your theory about why Luna did that? I'd love to know it_ **), Red the Pokemon Master, Mini-Crushies, FanficFan920, erica-phoenix16, shadowprove97 (** _that's an interesting idea! *evil laugh*_ **), STR2D3PO, D-Structs, littlealexmartinez61910 (** _lol, no, this story is about the WHOLE family having to deal with their emotional core being torn apart from them; trust me, I'm the author, I know what my story's focus is_ **), Thunderstrike16, ElectricLoud (** _sadness is life_ **), SilvahBitta01 (** _sorry for the delay :c_ **), Teotron, MikeTheHuman113 (** _I have my personal opinion about that, but I'll discuss it when the time comes_ **), Unknown Russian (** _answering your question: we'll meet another girl from Dance Dance Resolution, yes_ **), Emma, LoudSin (** _yeah, the Baby Steps renewed my inspiration for this story_ **), Dead heart 9 (** _I don't know how the law works in the US, but if Matt is 17 and Luna's 15, at least here in Argentina there's no crime being commited_ **), celrock, Iron-Doughnut (** _thank you; and believe me, I'm trying to make as little mistakes as possible, but it's never enough_ **), BoukenDutch, Mew Shadowfang, endeavor-NeverEnding (** _my favorite part was definitely when Luna smashed her guitar; it's not really okay for me to say it, but I liked how I builded up the relationship with her favorite guitar so it would have a bigger impact_ **), Hatoralo (** _yeah... the flu antidote... hehe_ **), Franklin (** _:c_ **), Secret life of writing, thehardboiledhit, Samtastic 3-0, ExMarkSpot, BewareTheBear05, HtfLover, Emperor of Performances, sad guy, Grim-XIII, kadienewberg, The Wannabe WriterOriginal, YamiKonamiSalamiNation, haldbloodcamper21 (** _oooh, I know you from Tumblr!_ **), Codymitchell1, StkAmbln, CarlosBlaster (** _there will be one ending, and it'll be awesome :v_ **), Hopeful, TheMadHatter, Jazz, Fipe2, TimmyTurnerFan, ImpossibleJedi4 (** _what Star Wars reference? Hahaha, I don't remember that_ **), brandonthornton458 (** _I'm glad I've inspired you!_ **), Sethsepticeye and the guests.**

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 14:  
Show must go on - Part I**

 **.**

 _I've seen fire, and I've seen rain.  
I've seen sunny days I thought would never end.  
I've seen lonely times where I could not find a friend.  
But I always thought that I'd see you again...  
_—James Taylor, _"Fire and rain"_

 **.**

Lincoln never set up his alarm clock for the weekends unless he had something really important to do, so it was definitely not the alarm that woke him up. At first, he wasn't really sure about what had actually woke him up. For a beautiful minute, he thought that he was still dreaming, because with his closed eyes, he felt like he was in such a wonderful place that could simply not be real. Like floating in a sea of warmth and tranquility. He ignored which was the average heartbeats per minute ratio, but he was pretty sure that he was well below that line. He was feeling each breath, every single heartbeat, and oddly enough, he somehow felt like he was a little kid once again.

A little while later, in what felt like it was half an hour but that probably wasn't much more than two minutes, Lincoln's senses started to sharpen, and he finally decided to open up his eyes. The first thing he was able to see was that he was indeed in his bedroom, on his own bed. And then he immediately realized that that wonderful warmth he felt was because he wasn't alone under his blankets. Lynn was lying beside him, awake, staring at him.

She had bloodshot eyes, and her cheeks were wet.

"Lynn, are you okay?" He asked her, sitting up without even telling her good morning.

She smiled and wiped her tears with the blanket, sitting up as well.

"Yeah, I'm sorry" she said, trying to calm him down. "I woke up a while ago, and you looked so... so relaxed. I didn't want to wake you."

"You didn't" Lincoln assured her, as he saw her holding her loose, brown hair with a hand, while she looked for her pigtail band. "I slept fantastic, actually."

"Me too" she said, finally getting her usual hairstyle done.

They smiled at each other. Lincoln had really enjoyed a great night of sleep. Just like the previous night with Luan, having slept with one of his sisters had kept him from having nightmares. He felt safe, content, and it helped him to have a placid, uninterrupted night of sleep. Although, now that he thought about it, he had awakened in the middle of the night. It had been when...

His smile suddenly faded away. He unconsciously looked beyond his closed door, across the hall and into the last door to the right, just before reaching the bathroom. He tried to look into his two older sister's room, into Luan and Luna's room. He remembered everything that had happened in the early morning, when Luna came back really late from a concert and she and Lori had what Lincoln considered was the most serious fight he had ever witnessed between any of his siblings. Not even that time when Lori and Leni had bought the same dress things had escalated so bad. It had not been a physically violent fight. They hadn't even touched each other, which was amazing considering they all lived in a house where everything was quickly arranged through a fist fight. But what Luna had done hurt more than any punch or kick.

He didn't know what had happened to push his older sister to act like that. He noticed that she had been... a little dizzy due to the alcohol. And he had heard her say that she'd... That she had done things that a boy never wants to hear from his sisters. Things that broke his heart. But nothing could compare with the image of his sister smashing her favorite guitar on the floor. He remembered the hurt look he'd seen in her red eyes when she looked across her siblings faces. The silent plea she gave him when their eyes met. He tried to tell her that she was wrong, that she shouldn't believe what Lori had said, that he understood her. But either he didn't managed to do it, or it wasn't enough for her. Luna destroyed her favorite guitar. It wasn't the first time she'd smashed a guitar, but they were always old instruments that needed repairs anyway. She would never do that with Chloe, which she always cleaned after every single session. And never in the context of a big fight with Lori.

Lori. What had happened with her? The way she'd tried to lecture Luna... Lincoln knew that his own knowledge about his siblings psychology could only be rivaled by Lori's, who could probably even have more tricks than Lincoln himself to deal with her siblings. There was no way she had said all those things without knowing it would hit a nerve in Luna. Was she trying to provoke her? No. No, Lincoln had heard the regret in her voice when she realized what she had said. He saw her arguing with their parents so they would leave Luna alone in her room. What had happened, then? Actually, what was Lori doing awake at two in the morning in the first place?

"You're gonna talk with her, aren't you?" Asked Lynn, taking him out of his thoughts train.

"Of course I am. I would've gone there last night, but..."

"It was okay to give her some room to herself. She wasn't in the right condition to talk with you" she cautiously said.

Lincoln remembered his older sister's state when she had arrived home, and he felt his stomach stir.

"I just can't believe it. Luna, with... with a stranger? Really?"

"I know. I guess we're all doing stupid things lately" said Lynn, avoiding his eyes.

He looked at her with sympathy. He clearly would've preferred it if Lynn hadn't punch one of her classmates until leaving him almost unconscious, ran away from school, tried to fight with her sensei and cried her eyes out, blaming herself for his terrible destiny. He would've preferred it if none of that had happened. But at the same time, he couldn't avoid feeling a little happy for having had the chance to spend a whole afternoon with her. To know her better. He was also thankful that Lynn had faked having lost a ball to stage a fight with Lucy so she could have an excuse to bunk with him for the night without raising suspicions. The experience had been better than he had expected it to be. She hadn't done anything violent, she hadn't locked him inside any dutch oven, she hadn't even snored. He didn't have to worry about giving explanations about his Operation Farewell. She tried to conceal the looks she gave at his calendar and the bucket list on his wall. She said nothing about it and pretended like there was nothing unusual in his room, and he really appreciated that.

"So..." started Lynn, sounding slightly interested. "You actually know about...?"

He turned around to look at her. Judging by her tone and the hand gesture she was doing, he knew she was talking about what Luna said she'd done. He stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm eleven years old, not six."

"Yeah, right, of course. Sorry. It's just that... I don't know, I'm always seeing you like my lil' bro, I didn't realize you were already around _that_ age."

Lincoln felt his cheeks blushing and warming up.

"Why yes, I know about ' _that_ ' ", he said. He looked away to the wall and said nothing else. This wasn't something he was fond of talking with his sisters.

"Hmm..." mumbled Lynn, in a funny tone. "Now I see why you didn't want me, _a girl_ , to sleep with you."

"Okay, you made it awkward, I'll hit the showers" he said, his whole face red, as he tried to sit up and leave his room.

"No, wait!"

She was faster, and quickly embraced his right arm, stopping him from leaving. She actually didn't need to hold him. The desperation he had heard in her voice was enough to stop him dead on his tracks. The day before, he'd found a new facet of Lynn, one that he was still having troubles getting used to. It wasn't easy to see her so vulnerable. So sensitive. So desperate to be with him, to the point where she had practically jumped at the mere possibility of Lincoln walking away from her. She looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I was just messing with you, lil' bro" she said, tightening her grip on his arm even more. "Don't leave me, please. Not yet."

His young and wounded heart shivered with his sister's plea. Very carefully, he turned around and put his free arm over her shoulders. Feeling him changing positions, she also moved, wrapping her arms around him just below his ribcage, letting her head rest agains his chest. Even though he was two years older, Lincoln was actually a good two inches taller than her. Her long auburn hair helped her dissimulate the difference, but they both knew he was taller. He had teased her about it when he realized it, earning himself a good punch in the shoulder, but he wasn't fully aware of it up until that moment when she hugged him on his own bed. It was right then when he first saw her as small.

He hugged her too, and softly stroked her hair.

"It's okay, Lynn. I'm not leaving you. I will never leave you" he promised her.

He hated with all his heart that he was able to recognize the breathing of a crying person. He was getting too much experience on it for his taste.

"A-are y-you...?" Lynn started, but she had to cough a little and take a couple of deep breaths before she could gather enough strength to talk. "Will we have another moment like this?"

"Lynn, of course we'll—"

"Please" she interrupted him. "I-I know I can't keep you f-for myself. We all l-l-love you. But... But..." She started to energically shake her head, as if the simple movement could take her fears away. "I don't want this to be the last time I wake up with you by my side."

He cursed himself when he recognized his own breathing as that of a crying person.

He assured her that he had no intention of that being the last time they would have a one on one time. He told her that he still had time, and he was determined to make the best of it.

"So don't worry. I still have to teach you my cooking skills and how to polish your nails. And you can come and sleep with me whenever you want" he told her with a smile. "But today... Today I have some things to do."

She nodded.

"You need to talk with Luna."

"That's just one thing" Lincoln sighed, looking exhausted at his calendar. "Luan is helping me with a project, I need to give Lisa a report, I want to keep advancing on some stuff with Mom, I promised I would hang out with Clyde and Ronnie Anne today, and I haven't spend much time with—"

"Ronnie Anne?" She suddenly said, breaking away from his embrace to look him in the eye. "Are you really going to keep seeing that... that...?"

Her fist were clentched tight and her fierce eyes were locked in Lincoln's eye, the one that she had seen a little swollen just the night before. Lincoln couldn't help himself and grinned, which only infuriated Lynn even more.

"I appreciate that you're worried about me" he said, flattering her as quickly as possible to calm her down. It worked. "But it was all a misunderstanding, really. She's deadly worried about me, you know? It's just that... Well, she also finds it easier to express herself through her fist."

The comparision evidently bothered Lynn a little.

"You two could end up being really good friends, you know?" He teased her. She quickly realized his intention, and finally relaxed.

"Fine. I'll allow you to hang out with her. But tell her that if she wants to show you her love, this time she should just settle with a smooch."

She laughed, extremely pleased to see Lincoln's face turn five shades of red in a matter of seconds.

* * *

"How bad is it?" Lincoln asked her in a low voice.

Luan shook her head, holding her hands against her breastbone.

"When I woke up she was already finishing her shower. She then went back into our room and started to put away all her instruments. One by one. I tried... I tried to stop her but..."

She closed her eyes, and Lincoln saw her shivering.

"She smiled at me" she finally said. "She smiled and told me not to worry about it. But she looked... I don't know, Lincoln. It scared me."

Lincoln closed her eyes and massaged his temples. Almost the whole family had already went downstairs to have breakfast. He had been left behind because he went into Lisa's room to have his morning dosis of the antidote, and when he came out, he spotted Luan also leaving her room, looking crestfallen. After making sure that there was nobody else upstairs, Lincoln stopped Luan and asked her about Luna, who had apparently decided that she was not going to have breakfast.

Things were getting complicated, definitely. Lincoln didn't want to waste any time.

"Can you cover for me?" He asked his sister. "I'll try to talk with Luna."

Luan nodded and wished him luck, giving him a big hug and a kiss on his forehead. She left him alone, and Lincoln quickly walked to his sister's room. He opened up the door, and even before he spotted Luna sitting in a chair in front of the window, he knew that everything was simply messed up. The silence was painfully revealing. But that wasn't all. She wasn't wearing her boots and her wristbands anymore. She wasn't playing any instrument, and she didn't have her headphones on. She was simply sitting in the chair, with her arms resting on the window's ledge and her gaze lost somewhere far away.

Lincoln took a deep breath and called her.

"Luna."

If it wasn't for the fact that he heard her holding her breath before releasing it in a big sigh that would've made Lucy jealous, he might've believed that she hadn't heard him.

"Luna, look at me" he asked her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Slowly, Luna turned around and looked at him. Lincoln had never seen anything like it. It was like her eyes had lost the ability to glow. They showed no emotion. Just... Just an immense feeling of abandonment, and desperation. For a moment, Lincoln felt like he would never have enough words to describe what he was seeing, that there was nothing he could say to make it better. But he had to try.

"Why did you do that?" He asked her, sounding slightly reproachful.

"Why did I do what?"

"Everything. Getting... drunk. Coming home so late. And... and what you told Lori about that guy."

Luna closed her eyes and ducked her head.

"You probably hate me right now. You must think I'm... that I'm..."

"Of course not" he firmly said. "Luna, I... I don't judge you. But... you know the risks. If... If you didn't use protection, then you—"

"Despite what Lori might think" she interrupted him, sounding not upset, but dissapointed, dissapointed with herself, "I'm not a reckless idiot. Our family's not getting bigger, Lincoln."

A huge weight was taken off his shoulders. It's not that he didn't trust her, or that he thought she was an idiot. But Lincoln knew very well that people, when feeling desperate, usually makes big mistakes. A part of him was relieved, but there was still so many things worrying him.

"Why did you smash your favorite guitar?"

He saw her shivering, and he knew right away that she was still hurt about that. It hadn't been something easy for her, it clearly wasn't what she wanted to do. But then why did she do it?

"Because I won't need it anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not playing anymore" she said, sounding determined. "No more music for me."

"What?! Why would you do that?"

"To show you all that there's more in Luna Loud than just music."

"Luna, no one thinks you're just music!"

"Of course you do, Lincoln!" She snapped back, standing up and walking to her closet, looking for nothing in particular. "You can say whatever you want, but deep down you all think music is all that matters to me, that everything I think is rock related, and that I don't care for anything besides my music. Lori said it herself last night."

"She didn't said all those things, and what she did said, she didn't mean it" he replied.

"She totally meant it!" Yelled Luna, looking hurt as she said so. "That's what she really thinks about me. What everyone thinks, but no one dares to say."

"Luna, this... This is all my fault."

Luna's face suddenly relaxed. She stared at him dumbfounded, utterly surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"There's so many things I need to tell you all... So many things I need to clear out with each one of you" said Lincoln, sitting on Luan's bed, "but I just can't be with all of you at the same time. I've just spoken with Luan and Lynn. Lucy, Lana and Lola don't even know what's going on. If I had been paying attention to you, if only I would've spend some time with you... Maybe none of this would've happened."

Luna sat next to him and gently embraced him.

"No, Lincoln, this is not your fault. Don't say that. It's my fault, I'm the one who made you all think I'm just music."

"But Luna, you can't just quit on your music" Lincoln told her, grabbing her hand. "You're a music prodigy, you can't just drop it. Music is what you love the most, what you truly enjoy."

He felt his sister's hand tensing, and the look she gave him had a mixture of pain and a pinch of anger.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to stop you from believing" she said through gritted teeth, with her eyes closed in an attempt to avoid crying. "Music is not what I love the most, Lincoln. I can live without music, but there are some things I can't live without. Things that give my life a meaning. Things without which it makes no sense to go on."

"Like what?" He honestly asked. He really wanted to know what his sister was talking about. He felt like he was about to find out a new facet of Luna. Just like he'd found out Lynn wanted to learn how to cook, he thought he was about to find out a hidden depth about another one of his sisters.

Luna, however, didn't answer him. Not with words, at least. She only stared at his eyes, with her lower lip trembling, as she raised a hand and barely touched his cheek. A slight brush with the tip of her fingers, tickling him. He didn't laugh, though, because he realized what she was talking about.

She was talking about him.

What can an eleven years old boy, whose life is slowly slipping away from him, say when his older sister tells him that he's what she loves the most, and that there's no point in going on without him? How can he reply such a confession? How to tell her that she shouldn't believe that? How to promise her that everything's gonna be alright?

He would've loved to be able to reply something, but he didn't know what to say. In a way, it was a relief when she stood up and turned away from him.

"Go and have breakfast" she said, not looking at him.

"But—"

"Don't stay here with me."

"I want to."

"I promised Lola I would go to her tea party today, too."

"So what? I'll tell her that we can—"

"Lincoln, please" she interrupted him, still facing at the opposite wall. "Don't make me cry. It hurts. It hurts so much."

Had him been a good brother, then he would've stayed there with her. He would've made her come around. He would have not rested until she felt better. He would've offered her a shoulder to cry on, he would've whispered the right words. He would've helped her carry all the pain she was undoubtedly feeling. But he was selfish. He didn't feel like he was ready to do it, to suffer again with her. For five days in a row, all he had been doing was suffering. In the hospital with his siblings and parents, and then with Bobby, Clyde,with Adrien's death, Ronnie Anne, Luan and Lynn. It was all pain. His heart felt numb just by thinking in all that he had suffered this last week, and all the pain that he was yet to experience.

He was weak. He chose the easy path, slowly nodded, and left his older sister grieving in her room all alone, just as he walked downstairs to join the family breakfast.

He hated himself for doing that.

* * *

"Any idea for this chapter's title, son?"

Lincoln spend an aweful time trying to come up with a name for the last chapter his mother helped him write. To narrate his experiences and what he'd learned from them was pretty easy. His mother had the hardest part, taking notes and then having to write it all down in a way that ended up being well written while still maintaining Lincoln's particular view of the matter. But chosing each chapter's titles was becoming more and more complicated as they kept writing them. In just a few hours, the two of them had finished another three chapters, and his mind was tired after coming up with " _Undie Pressure_ ", " _Changing the Baby_ " and " _Cereal Killer_ ".

"I don't know. What about... _Toads and Tiaras_? Is it too dumb?" He asked, tired of everything.

"I think it's perfect, son" Rita told him with a smile. "It perfectly summarizes those two."

Lincoln smiled too, but then he looked aside.

"Honey, what's wrong?" His mom asked, leaving her notebook aside and sitting next to her son. They were both in her bedroom, where no one would bother them. Knowing very well the fact that everything they said could be heard through the vents, Lincoln had set up a music player, so no one could accidentally or intentionally hear what he and his mother were saying.

"Nothing" he said.

"You're thinking about Luna, aren't you, sweetheart?"

His mom could be deceived every once in a while, but she had a superpower that allowed her to quickly detect and identify any problem in one of her children. Deep down, Lincoln knew that he wouldn't be able to hide his thoughts from her for too long.

"You shouldn't ground her."

Rita sighed.

"It's not her fault" he continued. "She didn't mean to do what she did."

"We're not going to ground her, honey" she said, stroking his white hair. "She's old enough to realize that what she did can't be repeated. She knows it's wrong. Besides, I think she's already punishing herself hard enough."

She couldn't say much more. Someone knocked on the door, and a second later Lucy walked inside the room. Lincoln couldn't help but smile. This must've been the first time he ever saw his little sister casually walking into a room. Usually she simply appeared there, opening portals from another dimension or walking through walls apparently, but even she had to ask for permission before entering her parent's bedroom.

"Yes, Lucy?" Asked Rita, standing up.

"Clyde and Ronnie Anne are ringing the doorbell" she simply said.

Her eyes were hidden behind locks of her hair, but even so Lincoln was perfectly sure that his little sister was scrutinizing the whole room, analizing everything. The way she slightly moved her head was a give away for Lincoln that Lucy had seen the music player against the vents, and she had also probably spotted the open notebook on the bed.

"Thank you, Lucy" he quickly said, wanting to take her out from there as soon as possible. "I'll go hang out with them, mom, see ya later."

He left the room along with his sister and closed the door behind them.

"What were you doing there?" She monotonously asked.

"Oh, she just needed some ideas for her novel and I offered myself to help her, you know."

"And why did you put music so we couldn't hear you from the bathroom vents?"

"So you actually tried to spy on me from the bathroom vents?" Lincoln asked her, with a slightly reproachful look. Lucy realized what she had just slipped her mouth, and after a few shocking seconds where she simply stood there with her mouth wide open, she ran away from him.

Lincoln saw her going up the stairs. Lucy knew something was odd, there were no doubts about it. He couldn't keep her in the dark for too long. But he had just so many things to worry about right then that he couldn't really focus on that particular matter. He opened the door, and found his two best friends waiting for him. They were standing five feet from each other, doing everything they could to keep their eyes from meeting. Lincoln had found out about their little altercation two days ago. Apparently, they hadn't talked about it yet, but they'd decided to let their differences aside so the three of them could enjoy an afternoon together.

His smile returned when he thought about his friends. He wouldn't trade them for the world.

"Hey, guys" he greeted them.

"Hello, Lincoln."

"What's up, lame-o?"

Their words were the same as always, the same they used to greet each other everyday, but Lincoln noticed a different attitute in them. Clyde had barely bumped his fist, and Ronnie Anne was staring at him like he was about to faint. His two friends were actually looking at him like he was a fragile porcelain figure, a delicate model that they needed to keep an eye on to keep it from falling and breaking. He felt a little awkward for being treated like a child, but he knew it was their way of worrying about him. He didn't blame them.

They started to walk, not knowing where to go yet. He was walking between his two friends, and apparently, they weren't the only ones acting a little weird. Before they even reached the sidewalk, Clyde asked him:

"Lincoln, did something happen? You look concerned."

He sighed.

"It wasn't my best night" he resignedly said, looking at the ground and putting his hands in his pockets.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Asked Ronnie Anne, putting a hand slightly above his elbow.

Lincoln looked at her, and then at Clyde. She had asked him, but he knew that they wouldn't simply let him pretend it was no big deal. He sighed again and told them that he would tell them all about it when they reached a more private, quiet place.

* * *

That private, quiet place ended up being, as usual, the nearest park. They found this little spot under a tree shadow that had a concrete table and two concrete benches. Lincon sat in one of the benches, Clyde sat right in front of him on the other side of the table, and Ronnie Anne decided to sit right next to the white haired boy, only that she sat on the table with her feet on the bench, unlike the other two who used the public facilities the way they were meant to be used. Now a little more relaxed beneath the shadow and knowing that they were away enough from the main path to not be disturbed, Lincoln told them all that had happened the night before in his house.

Well, he didn't tell them all of it, actually. He decided to skip part of what Luna had said, because he didn't want none of his friends to think less of his sister, fearing that they would judge her. He told them what they needed to know. That Luna, just like the rest of his sisters, was devastated, that she had decided to go and give a concert in a bar, that she had drank more alcohol than she could manage, and that she had arrived home at two in the morning. He told them about the argument with Lori, about how Luna smashed her favorite guitar, and the little conversation they both had had just a few hours ago before breakfast.

"She says that she doesn't want to play her guitar anymore because she's tired of everyone thinking music is all that defines her" he finished. He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but he quickly closed it.

His friends were looking at him with worried looks.

"But you don't think that's true, don't you?" Asked Clyde, carefully measuring his words, fearing that he might be wrong about his assumption.

Lincoln couldn't stop his lips from forming a fleeting grin. His best friend could definitely read him like an open book.

"No. I don't think that's the reason she does it. I'm not saying she's lying, there's probably a bit of what she says in it. But I think the truth is more... complicated than that."

A little umcomfortable, he looked away to his right, seeing the little kids in the playground having fun with their friends, their siblings and parents, laughing and enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon.

"Then what do you think it is?" Asked Clyde once again, after the silence became long enough to be umcomfortable.

Lincoln didn't answered right away. He had this idea in his mind, but it was difficult for him to find the right words to express himself. He was usually a very eloquent kid, but it seemed that it was hard to express himself with clarity when it was about serious problems with his sisters.

"See, Luan told me that lately Luna was having trouble playing her songs. That she would stop in the middle of a jam, unable to continue, and that she seemed like she was always about to start crying. And today, when I tried to talk with her, she told me something that..." He started to move his hand in front of him, trying to gestualize what he was trying to say, but he couldn't come up with the right words. "I don't know. I think like she doesn't want to play anymore because music is not distracting her. Her songs are reminding her... Well, they are reminding her that I'm going to die soon."

Both his friends shivered when they heard those words, but Lincoln decided to ignore them.

"She has always used music like a screen to cover her problems. Like a masquerade. She always hid behind it to stop thinking about her problems, to abstract herself from whatever make her hurt, to run away from her problems, you know? But... I guess this time she can't simply avoid this problem. My theory is that she's trying to stop thinking about the fact that I'm going to die, but she can't do it. That's how she always faced her problems, and now that she can't do it no more, she doesn't know what to do. I think that's what's tearing her apart."

"You can't blame her, Lincoln" Clyde softly said. "We're all... We're all trying to deal with this in our own way."

He started to breath more quickly, trying to stay strong for his friend and avoid crying.

"I know, I know" Lincoln said in a defeated tone. "I get it. I swear I understand her. But I just don't know how can I help her. I don't know what can I do to make her feel better. If I'm right, and I'm pretty sure I am, she's doing all this stuff to keep the pain away. How can I help her to stop running away from the pain?"

Clyde tried to say something, but he had no idea what to say to him. He closed his mouth and looked down. Lincoln looked away too. He wasn't really expecting them to give him any answer to his questions. He was just saying out loud what was bothering him, his most immediate problem. The man with the plan, that's how he'd referred to himself so many times, and yet, now that it really mattered, now that things were in a critical stage, he didn't know what to do. He couldn't simply die and leave his sister like that. He couldn't allow himself to leave this world if there was one of his older sisters giving up her dreams and her passions. He had to help her, but he didn't know what he could do.

He was so focused in his own thoughts, that he was taken by surprise when Ronnie Anne spoke right next to him.

"When my mom died, I didn't cry."

Lincoln and Clyde immediately looked up. Ronnie Anne, still sitting on the table, was looking at the ground, avoiding making eye contact with the boys. Lincoln nervously gulped. It was the first time he heard Ronnie Anne talking about her mother. Through Lori, he knew that both Ronnie Anne and Bobby's mom had died two years ago in a car accident. He had always been careful enough to keep himself from mentioning anything that could trigger Ronnie Anne by reminding her of her mother. He could see how sorrowful his friend seemed to be. He was about to tell her that she didn't have to talk about it if she didn't want to, but she spoke first.

"My dad and Bobby, they did cried a lot. And I felt terrible too, like completely empty, but I just couldn't cry. Not when I got to the hospital, not when they told us the news, not even in the funeral. For weeks, I was sad, but not that much. Sound crazy, right? How could I not be devastated for my mom's death? I should've been crying non stop. But it wasn't like that, for weeks I couldn't cry her. And then..."

Her shoulders started to convulse, and Lincoln acted immediately. He stood up and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around him and dragged him closer, as some tears escaped her eyes. Clyde also stood up, surrounded the table and stopped right next to them. Not knowing what to do, he simply put a hand on Ronnie Anne's shoulder, gently stroking her arm.

"One day I was skating in the park, getting the sickest air" she said, resuming her story. "It was all good, as always, until I suddenly saw this four year old girl falling from her rollers, and her mom came running and helped her stand. As soon... As soon as I saw that... It was like someone broke a dam inside of me. I felt sick. I ran to the loneliest bush I could find, I hid behind it and I cried."

She sank her face in Lincoln's shoulder and her fist clentched his shirt.

"I cried, and I cried. I cried all the tears I had been holding up all those weeks. I felt terrible. I felt like there was no point in living without my mom. I called Bobby and asked him to pick me up, and I cried with him too. Those were hours of crying, Lincoln, hours. Never in my entire life had I cried as much as that day."

After that, she needed a few minutes to catch her breath, to pull herself together. Lincoln and Clyde patiently waited for her to recompose. Lincoln didn't let her go, and he kept softly caressing her back. When she felt like she was alright, she broke away from the hug, and Lincoln sat beside her on the table, holding her hand.

"I can't remember ever feeling worse. Just to think about that day hurts" she made a small pause to take a breath, and Lincoln gently squeezed her hand to assure her that he was there for her. "But from that day on, I finally could accept what had happened. All those weeks I didn't cry, I'd been lying to myself. It's not something I did on purpose, but I was deceiving myself. My psychologist said it was something my mind did to save me the pain. But..."

"But?" Lincoln softly asked, not wanting to rush her.

Ronnie Anne finally looked him in the eye.

"We can't always escape from the pain. There are some things that will always hurt us, and we can't keep them from doing it. And sometimes... sometimes you need to let it hurt."

They stayed in silence, and Lincoln started to process all his friend had just told him. It wasn't exactly a comforting reflection. It looked more like a resignation. To stop trying to avoid the pain, accepting there was nothing they could do, and let it hurt. He didn't want that. He wanted a magic solution that would allow him to fix everything with Luna. That would help him make her feel good, to keep her from crying, to save her from all that pain. He really wanted something like that, but in spite of his innocence and optimism, he knew he was asking too much. He knew that the death of a loved one was a serious issue, and it couldn't be taken upon lightly. It wasn't something one could downplay, or try to not be affected by it. In his worst moments, he had sometimes imagined how would he feel if it was one of his sisters the one going through what he was experiencing, and the idea of living something like that made him cry more than anything.

Maybe Ronnie Anne was right. Maybe what Luna needed was to stop trying to avoid her pain, to stop looking for a way to get distracted and not think about it. By helping her realize that, he may stop her from doing dangerous things to get distracted. If he thought it like that, Lincoln would feel a little less guilty. If by letting her cry he could keep her from doing something stupid that could endanger her, then that was a price he was willing to pay. But that still left him with the music problem. How could he help her with that? Unless...

Lincoln's eyes glowed with realization. An idea crossed his mind, and he catch it before it faded away. The idea started to gain shape, and soon it became a plan. Certainly, Lincoln thought he'd found the answer. It was a practical idea, easy to accomplish, with big chances of leaving an impact in Luna, which is what he wanted in the end. To do this, however, he needed a little logistics. A little preparation or help in an area that wasn't his specialty. He started to mentally go over everyone he knew, looking for someone that could help him, and he suddenly realized whom to call.

It was perfect.

He smiled. He smiled widely, feeling content with himself, and his friends noticed his change of attitude.

"You came up with a plan, didn't you?" Asked Clyde, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah" he happily said, tightening his grip on Ronnie Anne's hand. "Yes, I came up with something. I think I know what can I do to help Luna. If I try my best, then I can do it this very night. I just need to practice, and I'm going to need help from..."

He suddenly stopped. He had gotten excited, and his enthusiasm had made him speak faster and louder, thinking about starting right away all the preparations for that same night. But right then, he was hanging out with his two best friends. They were supposed to spend the whole day together.

"Lincoln."

He looked at Roonie Anne, who was smiling at him, with somewhat sad eyes, but full of understanding.

"If you need to go, then go" she whispered.

"But... Today was supposed to be our day."

"We can wait, buddy" Clyde assured him, wearing practically the same face as Ronnie Anne. "Your sister needs you more than us."

"Family is always first" completed the girl.

Lincoln stretched both arms and surrounded his friends necks, taking them by surprise when he dragged them closer to hug them. They wasted no time and hugged him back.

"I love you, guys" he said from his very soul.

"We love you too" they both answered back.

He stood up and took up his phone. He needed a ride to the other side of town, and although he didn't want to take advantage of her promise, he needed to ask a favor to one of his sisters. So he opened the chat with his eldest sister and send her a first message.

" _Hey Lori..._ "

He wanted to send her next a " _are u busy ? can i ask u a favor ?_ ", but he was in the middle of writing it when the app confirmed him that his sister had seen the message, and a fraction of a second later his phone started vibrating with an incoming call from Lori Loud.

"Lori?" He asked, when he answered the call.

" _Lincoln, where are you?! Did something happened?! Are you okay?!_ "

He had to move away the phone from his ear to prevent any kind of serious damage. Ronnie Anne chuckled seeing that.

"Lori, it's okay, I'm alright."

" _Are you sure?!_ "

"Absolutely."

He heard a big sigh and put the phone close to his ear once again.

" _I'm sorry. I saw your message and... Well, it doesn't matter._ "

"Lori are you doing something? I mean, are you busy right now?"

" _No, Lincoln. I'm not busy for you. What do you need?_ "

"Well... I mean, if you're not busy, do you think you could come pick me up in the park? I need you to give me a ride somewhere, pretty please" he asked, trying to sound as polite as possible.

He heard the sound of dangling keys, some quick steps, what seemed to be the sound of metal hitting another metal, and an engine being turned on.

" _I'm literally on my way there._ "

* * *

 **.**

 **This was the best place to divide the cap. I'm usually more worried about what I want to tell rather than the length of each chapter. That's why the first chapters were shorter (things I wanted to show were easier to tell) and this last chapters so long. But this was ending up being like extremely long, and I thought that if I divided it in two right here, each part would still have a lot of content. I mean, this one had a scene with Lynn, a chat with Luna, a moment with Rita and a scene with Lincoln's best friends that came along with a pretty dark headcanon for Ronnie Anne.**

 **From now on, I'll just update on Fridays. I'm not saying that I'll update EVERY Friday, like once a week, just that I'll update on Fridays. So if next Friday chapter 15 is not up, then wait 'til the next. I'm trying to come up a little more scheduled. With the translations it's hard to know how long it will take me to write each chapter (the spanish version of this chapter was finished in 3 days, but it took me 2 more to translate; TWO DAYS TO TRANSLATE. I fucking hate my life.)**

 **Anyway, follow me on Tumblr to check out sneak peeks from future chapters. Chapter 15's sneak peek was posted last week ('cause that was before I divided the chapter in two).**

 **See ya!**


	15. Show must go on - Part II

**Wow, thank God I divided the chapter in two. Can you imagine a 20K words chapter? Even I am not so evil.**

 **This chapter has a lot of sentimentalism. I just know one way to avoid cheap sentimentalism: to replace a cliche image with a more impactful one. I used many cliches in this chapter so the strong images I added could have a bigger impression. If you happen to know any other literary resource or strategy, please let me know. And just to keep you from doing extra work: I know the "show, don't tell" rule. I have a slightly different opinion than most, though. I believe that one should choose between "showing" and "telling" depending on the rhythm and the message you want to convey. Anyway, I invite you to criticize me and help me improve.**

 **I'd like to thank all of you, kind readers, specially endeavor-NeverEnding for giving me English grammar tips, and also those who left their reviews:**

 **Exotos135** _(thank you, and sorry for the insanely long chapters... I guess I like to write, hahaha)_ **, Omega Ultra, YamiKonamiSalamiNation** _(I'll never give up!)_ **, littlealexmartinez61910** _(yeah, it doesn't really work to use Google Translate, unfortunately :c )_ **, Gumball2, celrock, D-Structs, LoudSin** _(Oh, I remember that scene from DoFP, excellent)_ **, MikeTheHuman113** _(why thank you :D I'll be waiting to read that review)_ **, ExMarkSpot, Guest #1** _(I don't believe it's the best; I just try to do MY best)_ **, Chasethegermanshepard** _(nice song, I didn't know it before!)_ **, erica-phoenix16** _(thank YOU for reading!)_ **, tzening, Codymitchell1, STR2D3PO, Silvahbittah01, ElectricLoud, d-felipe76** _(Nope, he hasn't kissed her since chapter... 9, I think it was?)_ **, Lovepatrolalpha1344** _(House is a total dick, he's always making fun of everything and everyone. The Mormons joke was an innocent joke that was completely in character with how House is)_ **, Harmony Avery, BoukenDutch** _(as I said, I was joking about hating the act of translating; what I hate is that I'm so slow at it, hahaha)_ **, Insane Master Writer Studio** _(Thank you for the rate :D haha)_ **, Smeckle** _(Damn, it was a lot to marathone hahaha)_ **, ImpossibleJedi4, borderlandsman, The Critik, I M Rally, Thunderstrike16, Jazz** _(yeah, that little baby knows her stuff, hahaha)_ **, kadienewberg** _(Yes, I'll show Pop Pop)_ **, Secret life of writing** _(You are really good at guessing, hahaha)_ **, Guest #2** _(Not yet)_ **, Grim-XIII, TexasGunKing, Mini-Crushies, Emma** _(Happy Birthday! Sorry for the 4 days delay)_ **, Godzilla2915** _(don't worry, the story's about Lincoln and his family dealing with his loss. It won't be going too far from there)_ **, RedPandaGaming, RedPanda115** _(You mean the JumpJump comic? Of course! I admire JJ)_ **, weirdgirl332** _(I accept your thanks, but I'll have to refuse your curses D: hahaha)_ **, Hatoralo, Luna's 1 Fan, endeavor-NeverEnding, Guest #3, Guest #4** _(OMG, WHY IS IT JUST NOW THAT I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS SONG?! WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!)_ **, Chuglife, jack-leighton-712, yupsies** _(wow, I don't really know what to say, hahaha Thank you comes up short)_ **, Samtastic 3-0, animefan1009, TerraZeal** _(glad to hear not everyone hated it, hahaha)_ **, Angel Star Ninja and HftLover.**

 **DISCLAIMER: The Loud House y sus personajes no me pertenecen. Son propiedades de sus respectivos dueños, y cualquier uso que se les de aquí no busca remuneración alguna. Esta historia está escrita con fines lúdicos.**

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 15:  
Show must go on - Part II**

 **.**

 _Sing with me, sing for the year  
Sing for the laughter, and sing for the tear  
Sing with me, just for today  
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away...  
_—Aerosmith, _Dream On_.

 **.**

 _Luna had woke up to go to the bathroom. She didn't check her alarm clock, but it was probably late in the night, probably even the early morning. After washing her hands and drying them off, she went into the hall once again. Her hand was closing over her bedroom's doorknob when she noticed something on the corner of her eye. Tiredly, she looked at her right. Light was coming from under Lincoln's bedroom door._

 _Luna suddenly lost all her sleepiness. What was Lincoln doing awake? He should be sleeping. Resolved, and with her big sister's instincts kicked on, she walked down the hall. She stopped next to what up until just a month ago was the linen closet, and softly knocked on the door._

" _Linky? Are you awake?" She whispered._

 _She heard a little turmoil, and a second later the door was opened wide. Going from nearly total darkness to receive the lamp light made her close her eyes, so she only felt those little fingers closing around her wrist and dragging her inside. When she finally opened his eyes, she saw that Lincoln was standing next to her, wearing his little orange pajama and hugging Bun-Bun tight. But she also immediately noticed a funny smell in the room, and then she saw that his pants had a wet stain on the front, going down his legs. The most important thing, however, was the fact that he was silently crying._

" _Lincoln" she said, kneeling in front of him, "what happened?"_

" _I woke up, Luna" he said, taking a step forward and resting his forehead against hers. "I wanted to go to the bathroom, but the lights are off, and I was scared. And Lynn's not here to go with me… And… And I… I couldn't held it anymore."_

 _He started to sob again. Luna understood. Lincoln and Lynn were roommates up until recently. When Lucy was born, a month ago, his parents had rearranged the room distribution. The four older girls would keep having a room for each one of them, and they decided that Lynn would pair up with little Lucy to keep an eye on her. And his father had also decided to convert the linen closet in Lincoln's own room. So Lincoln was a three years old kid, still learning to sleep alone in his own room. He didn't have his older sister with him to help him with his problems, to make him feel safe and secure. There was no one to walk him to the bathroom. He could've made some noise, yell until someone came to see what he wanted. Luna knew that neither she or one of her sisters would've been mad at Lincoln if he woke them up to help him. But he was such a good boy…_

 _He was still crying, and his tears were wetting the upper part of his pajama. Luna knew that she needed to make him feel better. Lincoln would always calm down when she sang to him, and she loved singing. So she quickly decided to hug him and started to softly start singing one of his favorite movie's songs._

" _Come stop your crying, it'll be alright. Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here, don't you cry."_

 _He didn't immediately stop crying, but he looked up and stared right into Luna's eye. She kept singing Tarzan's song, smiling at him and gently wiping away his tears. Then she took him in her arms and sat him on her lap, practically cradling him, not worrying that the wetness on his pajama was soaking her own clothes. She sang the whole song from start to finish, and by the time she was done, Lincoln was hugging her back, with his eyes closed and a little smile on his face._

" _Linky, let's go to the bathroom to wash you up and give you some new clothes, alright?" Said the seven years old girl, almost in a whisper. He nodded._

 _Luna grabbed another pajama from Lincoln's wardrobe and guided him by the hand to the bathroom. Once they were there, she set up the shower, undressed Lincoln and carefully bathed him. She then helped him dry off with a towel, dressed him up one more time, and then she threw the wet pajama with all the other dirty laundry, so no one would know what had happened. It wasn't like they would make fun of him, but apparently, the idea of just Luna knowing about it seemed to ease the little boy._

 _When they finally left the bathroom, Lincoln couldn't stop thanking Luna, telling her that she was the best sister in the world and that he loved her very, very, very, very, very much. That he loved her to infinity and beyond. Hearing him say all those things were making her happy in a way words could never describe. And it was all just because she had waken up in the middle of the night, and also thanks to the soundtrack of a great movie._

 _God bless you, Phil Collins._

" _Lincoln" she called him, stopping next to her door._

 _He, whom was still looking for new ways to express just how much he loved her, stopped too, and looked at her with a smile._

" _Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?"_

 _His eyes glowed so much that even in the dark hall she was able to see them._

" _Can I use the music cushion?" He excitedly asked._

" _Of course you can."_

 _He was about to let a scream of excitement, but Luna managed to stop him before he woke the whole house up. They went inside the girl's bedroom and laid on her bed. She had her own pillow, and there were a lot of different shaped cushions. Lincoln loved the one that was shaped as a G-clef. They laid down next to each other and closed their eyes._

" _Luna?" He asked in a whisper seconds later._

" _Yeah?"_

" _Can you sing me that lullaby?"_

 _She smiled. "That lullaby". She was pretty sure that that song hadn't been written as a lullaby. It was definitely a beautiful ballad, for a well known rock band, or something like that. But its tranquil rhythm always relaxed Lincoln, and Luna usually sang it to him near his nap time. So far, it had never failed to make him sleep peacefully._

 _She gladly snuggled against him, and softly played with the locks of white hair falling on his face as she started to sing._

 _I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
While you're far away dreaming  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever_ _  
Every moment spent with you  
Is a moment I treasure_

 _I don't wanna close my eyes  
I don't wanna fall asleep  
'Cause I'd miss you, babe  
And I don't wanna miss a thing  
'Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you, babe  
And I don't wanna miss a thing_

 _When soft and tender snores started to escape from Lincoln's tiny, open mouth, Luna covered him again with her blanket. She kissed his forehead and slept tight next to him, holding him close against her with an arm. Soon, her breathing matched his, and united in a love embrace, they both had sweet dreams for the rest of the night._

* * *

"Lincoln, I swear, it wasn't my intention to say all those things."

"Don't worry, I know."

"I don't know what came over me. She… She was yelling at me, and I was so worried" she told him. "I should've shut my mouth. I should've waited for her to calm down before talking with her."

"Lori" he said, extending his arm to caress his sister's shoulder, "you were worried about her, and you did what you thought you needed to do. What happened next is not your fault."

"I wanted to apologize to her, but Lynn told me that Luan had locked them both in their room. I don't know what they're doing there..."

They drove several more blocks before Lincoln said something, just when the van was stopping in a red light.

"It's gonna be alright" he softly said, almost in a whisper. "I'll make sure of it."

Lori turned to see him. If it weren't because the traffic light changed to green and there were some cars behind her, she would've stayed there, just staring at him for a long time. Lincoln slightly smiled. It was obvious how hurt Lori was right then. For everything. For him, for Luna, for feeling like she couldn't keep the house under control anymore. For seeing how everything and everyone around her seemed to be falling apart. And yet, she was still trying to stay strong. She kept being there for all her siblings, trying to take care of them, trying to keep up with her role as the eldest sister. It wasn't easy, but she kept trying it, and Lincoln admired her because of that.

"So" said Lori, trying to break the silence that had appeared, "you have a plan to make her feel better, don't you? Is that why you asked me to give you a ride here?"

"I've got a plan, yeah" answered Lincoln, nervously placing a hand on his nape. "I don't know if it'll make her feel better… But I gotta try."

"That will be enough" she assured him, and Lincoln smiled.

They finally arrived to his destiny. It was lucky that Lori had been busy —although Lincoln had the impression that no commitment would've been enough to keep her from answering his call—, not only because she could give him a ride on Vanzilla, but also because he actually didn't know the address. He had only two options: to ask Luna about it, which would've ruined any attempt at surprising her later, or simply call Lori.

He was really grateful. That's why, as soon as he took his seat-belt off, he moved in the front row of seats until he was right next to her, and he hugged her. Lori was taken by surprise, and she needed a few seconds to react, but when she finally did it, she embraced her little brother too, letting her head rest atop his.

"Thank you, Lori."

"You're welcome, Linky."

"Can I ask you another favor?" He said, barely moving away from her. "If it's not too much to ask?"

"Whatever you want, Lincoln. Whatever you need, whenever you need it" she said with glistering eyes.

"It's about Lucy."

"What about her?"

"She's getting suspicious" Lincoln explained. "She knows something's odd."

"And what do you want me to do?" She asked.

"Just… Make sure she's okay. Usually everyone ignores her, and while she enjoys being alone, every once in a while she needs someone to spend some time with her. And tell Lynn to make peace with her tonight. Lucy really appreciates her company; even more than she's willing to admit."

Lori slowly nodded. She assured him that she would try to spend some time with Lucy as soon as she got home. With his conscience a little eased, Lincoln stepped out of the van and looked at the house he was about to knock on. He started to walk there, but his sister called him.

"Lucy… You're gonna have to tell her" she reminded him, without sounding demanding. "She and the girls will find out either way. You can't keep hiding it from them."

Lincoln looked at the ground for a few instants. He frowned, silently nodded, and finally looked up at his sister again. He lifted one of the corners of his mouth, in a half smile that was in the middle of being an ironic one and one of resignation.

"One battle at a time, Lori" he simply said.

She nodded, turned on the engine, told him to give her a call when he needed a ride back home, and drove away, leaving him alone in the middle of the sidewalk. Lincoln turned around once more to face the house in front of him. It was different than the rest of the houses from the block. It was kinda small, a simple two storey house, but somehow it was like being in front of a castle. A gallery with big arcades preceded the main entrance and the window panes of what must have been the living room. The house was pretty squared, even the slate roofs seemed to have highly inclined slopes. The difference with his own house amazed Lincoln. While the Loud house looked more like a bunch of pieces randomly stacked together to create something that could be called a dwelling, the house in front of him seemed to be the exemplification of order. All the windows were aligned, the columns overlapped the lines of the door and the framework. Everything was ordered, calculated, measured. Lincoln didn't know anything about architecture, but his father had studied a semester in a British university, and he never stopped talking about the beautiful Victorian houses. He always said that they imposed respect and Lincoln, as he walked forward and stared at the United Kingdom flag on the roof, could only agree.

He reached the door and realized there was no doorbell, only an old, lion shaped knocker.

"Really?" He loudly said, before shaking his head, grabbing the knocker and hitting the metal against the door a couple of times. If not because he trusted his sister, he would've thought he was at the wrong house, because nothing in that old building seemed to indicate that was where…

Someone opened the door. Lincoln heard a gasp and then a high pitched squeal.

"Lincoln!" Yelled Tabby, jumping and stepping forward to energetically shake his whole arm.

"H-He-ey T-T-T-abby" he said, trying to keep his head from falling off his body.

"I can't believe it!" Said the girl, finally releasing Lincoln and looking around him. "Is Luna with you?"

"No, she's actually..."

"I was about to start my jam, you got 'ere just in time!" She interrupted him, grabbing his hand and dragging him inside the house. "Come on in!"

Once inside, Lincoln ascertained that it was as old and tidy as it looked from the outside. The walls were covered in muted colored hardwood, and the floor had a carpet with an intricate design. He would've stopped to take off his shoes so he wouldn't dirty that beautiful place, but Tabby was too busy hauling him through the entry hall, past the stairs and the study room, until they reached the living room.

Oddly enough, that room looked pretty much like his own living room. A chimney, a TV right in front of the window, some couches around it and a hall that seemed to lead to a bedroom. The only difference was that the furniture there was really fancy and probably expensive, including the wooden rocking chair next to the fireplace, where an old lady that could very well be Master Yoda's mother was knitting a scarf.

"Lincoln, that's my grandmother, Lady Campbell, or as I call her, Granny."

Lincoln quickly combed his hair and took a step forward, kindly extending his hand.

"Good afternoon, ma'am. My name's Lincoln Loud, I'm a friend of… your..."

He slowly moved his hand down when he realized that the lady was still knitting without even blinking, oblivious to Lincoln's presence. He heard a giggle behind him, and saw Tabby coming closer with a pan and a spoon.

"Nevermind that, Lincoln. She's almost deaf. Check this out."

She hit the pan with all her strength, so hard that Lincoln had to cover his ears to keep them from vibrating. Lady Campbell, though, kept knitting like nothing had happened.

"We could practice here and she wouldn't even know, ain't that great?" She said with a smile. "But we got neighbors, tho'. Let's go to my room."

"Your…? WAAAAH!"

Tabby grabbed his arm once again, and this time led him upstairs. As they dashed on their way up, Lincoln passed next to several picture frames. Some had pictures in black and white. He saw Tabby in others, and he also saw a lot of people he didn't know. When they reached the top of the stairs, she turned to her left, opened the first door to the right, a pink wooden door, and went inside it with Lincoln.

He opened both eyes wide and let out a whistle. Not only Tabby's room was enormous considering all that space was for just one eleven years old girl, it also seemed to be on a different dimension than the rest of the house. The floor had a strident purple carpet. Bands posters, concerts paraphernalia and guitars where hanging fro every wall, which had several strips of insulation foam, the same kind that his father had installed inside the drywall around Luna's room. Tabby didn't have nearly as many instruments as his sister, but he still saw an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar and several amps.

It was really interesting to see the contrast between that room and the rest of the house. So different. So untidy, colorful, in contrast with how serene and boring the rest of the house looked like.

"This is my room" said Tabby with a grin, closing the door behind her. "Completely sound proof. That means..."

She slowly approached Lincoln, holding his hands and letting her face get closer and closer to his.

"...we can be as loud as we want" she whispered.

"Eh?" Said Lincoln, his face turning red.

"Let's jam!" She yelled, raising her hands over her head, celebrating the chance of being able to share her music with someone else.

Lincoln watched her grabbing her electric guitar and running to get her amps, starting to get everything ready. He took advantage of her distraction to let the blush go away from his face and keep seeing her room. It was crowded with stuff. Vinyl records, paper sheets with musical notations, staves, picks, clothes and many, many posters. It was then when Lincoln noticed that, right in front of Tabby's bed, there was a little collection of posters from The Railway Tavern. He quickly realized they all had one thing in common: they all had Luna Loud's name in the participant list. He got nearer and saw, in the middle of the wall, a Polaroid picture of Tabby hugging Luna's waist, both smiling at the camera.

"Tabby, you really look up to my sister, don't you?" He asked. He noticed that he couldn't hear the echo of his own voice reflecting on the foam covered walls.

She stopped doing what she was doing, turned around and walked next to him.

"She's the most incredible girl I've ever met" she confessed, picking up the picture Lincoln was staring at and smiling at the memories. "My brother always wanted me to get interested in rock, but it wasn't really my thing. And then I met Luna. She also wanted me to like rock, but when I told her that I didn't really like it, she told me maybe I was more into punk. And she changed my world. My life was soooooo boring before her… Knitting with Granny, studying ballet, ignoring my brother… And now it's all punk, music, riffs! She made me who I am right now. And I actually ended up liking rock after all. I love everything she plays. She opened up my mind."

Tabby's words were there confirmation of everything Lincoln believed about his sister. Luna wasn't defined in music. It wasn't rock what defined her, it was her energy. Just like Luan was a girl who passed happiness and joy on, and her puns and jokes were just a medium to do it, Luna was a girl that spread away energy, attitude, the certainty that we should truly enjoy everything we do, that we should live with passion and do what we really want to do, no matter what. Music was the instrument she'd chosen to remind the world that there was nothing wrong with living with passion.

The fact that there was at least one with with posters of her covering a wall in her room was all the evidence Lincoln needed to know that he couldn't allow his sister to leave all her passion behind. His goal was now clearer than ever.

"Y'know" Tabby started, putting the picture back into place, "when I told Luna I'd like to practice with you I meant the three of us jamming together, not only you and me. I'm not complaining, tho', on the contrary. But I didn't know she would take it so serious as to send you 'ere the next morning."

"You told Luna you wanted me to practice with you guys?" Asked Lincoln with a raised eyebrow.

Tabby gave him a weird look.

"Well, yeah. I told her last night in the pub."

"You were with Luna last night?!" He asked, suddenly interested.

"Of course! I never miss one of her shows. Although last night was… weird."

She picked up her electric guitar again and plugged it in. She played a couple of thunderous notes to test how the sound was coming off, but she stopped when she realized it was sounding somewhat odd. She almost started to take the strap off, but Lincoln stopped her.

"I'll do it."

He knelt beside the amp and started to move the tone and volume knobs, used to it after so many years helping Luna getting everything ready in the garage.

"Why do you say yesterday was weird?" He asked, still setting the amp up.

"There was something off with the way she was playing" said Tabby, looking impressed at Lincoln. "She started with all this energy, and then with every song she… I don't know, she sang them with more emotion, like she was totally into it. And they were sad songs. My brother says she was probably having troubles with a boy."

"I see" he simply said, feeling cold needles piercing his heart with every new detail he found out about his sister's performance in the stage the night before.

"She never told me anything 'bout a boy, but she doesn't really have to, y'know? I'm still way younger than her. I too believe she's having boy troubles. By the songs she played, it seems like a boy had just broken up with her, and you could tell from miles that she's very sad about it. She was about to cry on the stage, I saw it, I was ten feet away from her."

"Oh."

"You know something about it? Is she having any love issues?"

Lincoln remained in silence, bent over the amp. Truth be told, he hadn't went there looking for Tabby. He knew he'd find her, yeah, but he was actually looking for someone else. Now, however, he was pretty sure that he should've decided to come to Tabby from the start.

He turned the amp off and stood up.

"Lincoln? What are you doing?" Asked Tabby, confused.

He went into Tabby's bed and sat there, staring at the floor.

"Tabby, Luna wants to drop music forever."

She immediately let out a big gasp, staring at him in disbelief, like he had just made a very cruel joke. Carefully, she let her guitar aside, resting against the nearest wall.

"What are you talking about? Luna wouldn't… She did a show _last night_ " she said, trying to make him realize just how illogical that sounded. "Luna loves music. You can't just simply _drop_ music, like walk away from it. It doesn't make any sense."

"Last night, when she got home, she had an argument with another one of my sisters and… "Lincoln had to breathe in and out a couple of times before continuing. "She broke her favorite guitar. She smashed it to pieces."

"Chloe?! But why would…?! How…?"

The little punk girl was struggling to find her words. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. She sat next to Lincoln, shaking her head and trying to find an explanation to what he was saying. She didn't really know Lincoln that much, and actually the only time they had spend some time together he had been deceiving her for a whole night, juggling four dates and avoiding a fifth. But there was something about him that made her simply trust him. She couldn't seem to see him lying on something like that, something so important and related to his older sister. She knew he was telling the truth.

"Why did she do that?" She finally asked, staring at him.

"Tabby… Look, the truth is that I originally came here to ask your brother for help."

"Chunk? Why would you need his help?" She asked, tilting her head.

"I just assumed he'd know Luna better and he could help me… But I don't really think I would've been comfortable talking with him, actually. I mean, we never really spoke with each other, and you… Well, I do like you."

"I like you too, dude" she said with a little smile, giving him a small bump in his arm with her fist, much more gentle than the ones Lynn used to give him. "But why do you need Chunk's help for? Or mine?"

Lincoln took a couple of seconds to get his explanation ready. He had already discussed this topic so many times, and yet it never got easier to say.

"Well… Luna is very, VERY depressed. And that's because—"

"Is it for a boy, then?" Tabby interrupted him. "Is that why she was singing all those sad songs yesterday?"

"No, it's not about a boy" Lincoln answered, a little bothered by the interruption. "I mean, yeah, it's technically about a boy, but… Look, Luna is all bummed out because of me."

"You? But what did you do to—"

"If you let me finish, maybe I could say it" Lincoln interrupted her, trying to sound not too irritated.

She gave him a slightly offended look for a second, but finally she silently nodded and let him speak. Lincoln gave out a big sigh, psyched himself up once again, and simply dropped it.

"I'm sick. I have a serious condition, and I'll die in one or two weeks."

Luna had once showed him some articles about a room that was one hundred percent acoustically isolated. Outside his funny look, what was interesting about it was the effect that it produced in people. Without any acoustic stimulus from the outside, not even an echo of what we do, one could start to hear its own heart beating, the air coming in and out of their lungs, even the sound of the blood flushing through their veins. Apparently, a human being couldn't be inside that room for more than half an hour before starting to feel dizzy and sick. Luna believed that proved that we can't live without sounds, and therefore, we can't live without music. Although Lincoln wasn't really sure about that logical leap, the "room of silence" had always seemed like an interesting thing, and he wondered how would it be to be inside a room like that one.

Well, Tabby's room wasn't one hundred percent isolated from sounds, but it did have some, and the fact that none of the kids that where inside there said anything for a while helped to increase the sensation of isolation. That's how Lincoln was able to hear his friend's panting, and her shortness of breath while she processed what he had just told her. He could also hear his own calm breathing, just waiting.

As expected, Tabby took the news like a punch in the gut. She simply stared at him in silence, with her mouth slightly open, showing her little tooth gap. Her eyes were slowly diverting from staring at his face for a couple of seconds, then moving quickly to the floor, and then back at the face of the boy sitting right next to her on her bed, over and over again. This time she had no doubts that this was no joke. She didn't even consider the possibility that he wasn't saying the truth. She knew it right away, right when he told her. And she suddenly understood Luna's songs. " _Without you my life is incomplete, my days are absolutely gray_ ", " _I'll never be the same here without you_ ", " _Is this_ _the_ _way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?_ " Of course, she understood it now. It all seemed so logical, so obvious… But who would've imagined something so terrible? How could have she imagined Luna was playing like that because of her younger brother? How could have Tabby known her friend was losing such an important part of her life?

And then Tabby remembered that she had asked about Lincoln. She put a hand over her heart, feeling incredibly guilty. She had definitely touched a nerve. Luna probably had went there just to keep her mind away from everything, and she had forced her to remember in the most painful way just before she started her show. She looked back at Lincoln. Up until a minute ago, she simply saw him as a boy she would love to get to meet. Luna always spoke about him like a treasure, like he was the best kid in the world. And now she could only see him as a mirage, some kind of ghost announcing his departure.

"Wow… Lincoln, I… I'm… I'm sorry" she told him, not knowing what else to say.

He slowly shook his head.

"Don't worry, Tabby. I think… I think I kinda assumed it by now" he said, trying to sound much more confident than he actually was, trying to keep his own fear from reflecting on his voice. "But as you can imagine, my sisters are taking this very bad."

"Surely" she said, uncomfortably moving her feet on the floor. "Of course… This… Oh, Lincoln..."

Tabby gave him a sad look, moving her hand until putting it over his. He just looked at her with understanding and resignation.

"Tabby, Luna is sorrowful. She's losing herself. I gotta help her, and I think I know how, but I need your help."

"What can I do?" She asked, willing to do anything to see Luna better, to help she whom she considered a mentor and even a sister.

Lincoln stood up and went to grab Tabby's acoustic guitar. He sat again next to her, put his fingers in a C chord and strummed down.

"I need to show her that she can't quit on music, that music has nothing to do with what's going on. She thinks that everyone sees her just as a rock girl, and I want to let her know that's not true. That I see beyond her music taste, that I see the true Luna and that I love her for what she is."

"And how can I help you?" Asked Tabby, imagining the answer.

"I know a song. I know she knows it too, it's from a singer we both like since we were kids. I don't… Well, I'm really bad at singing, but that's not the point. I'd love to play a song for her."

"You know how to play the guitar?"

"Luna taught me like the basic chords. The easy ones. If you could help me find the chords for the song, I guess I could learn it. It seems to be pretty easy. But there's another thing I'd like to say to her, and I don't know a song about it. Maybe you can help me with that, too."

Tabby quickly went to his desk. He took a closed laptop with a _Link-180_ sticker and tuned it on. When the computer was ready, she opened her browser, went to a music website and looked at Lincoln. Her eyes showed great sadness, but her voice denoted resolution.

"Tell me what you need, and I'll give you the perfect song."

* * *

Lincoln and Lori arrived home at nearly six in the afternoon. While the girl went inside the house with instructions of finding a very specific object in the attic, Lincoln went into the garage. He opened the door and checked what Lori had told him on their way home from Tabby's. The garage was the place where the whole family dumped their stuff, so it wasn't strange for him or any of his sisters to save there everything that didn't fit in their rooms. And it was actually one of the places where Luna had most of his amps. But now the garage was fuller than ever, because Luna had carried all her instruments there during the afternoon.

Lincoln decided to waste no time in just standing there looking sadly at that image, and instead started to look for his sister's acoustic guitar. It wasn't really hard to find it, since it was inside its case, carefully put over an amp and against the wall. No instrument was as important to Luna as Chloe had been, but even so she took special care with every single one of them. Lincoln took the case and pulled it apart, leaving it prepared for later that night. He then went into the table where his father saved all his tools and various artifacts.

He noticed that, next to the table, there were a lot of fishing stuff prepared, including hooks, jackets, and two fishing rods. That was definitely odd, since the last time the family had gone fishing had been to the _Grand Venture State Park_ , weeks ago. Lincoln hadn't actually fished anything; he'd been more worried trying to avoid Lucy's prediction about the end of his day to come true.

Ignoring that detail, he looked for one of his dad's camp lamps, the kind that he always carried when they all vacationed in _Scratchy Bottom's Camp_. He was also going to need it for what he was planning to do at night. When he found one, he left it next to Luna's guitar. Without anything else to do until Lori gave him what he'd send her looking for, Lincoln left the garage.

He entered his house from the kitchen door, and he found Lisa there. The scientist was standing on a small stool in front of the refrigerator, stretching her short arms trying to reach the things that were on the higher shelves. She even gave some little jumps, but she still couldn't reach them.

"Dang it" she complained, clenching her fist and stomping on the stool.

"Need some help there?" Asked Lincoln, approaching her.

Lisa turned to give him a look. Usually, her face showed practically no emotion, looking more like the expression of a bored person, tired that the daily occurrences implied no challenge for her intellectual capacity. The only thing that could make her smile or angry her sibling's intervention. Beyond that, she always looked bored, uninterested in everything. That's why Lincoln was surprised to see her so disheveled —even by the little girl's standards, her hair right then looked terrible—, still wearing her pajama even if it was six in the afternoon, and with her whole body slightly shaking due to the anger of not being able to reach the upper shelves of the refrigerator.

"There's no need" she said, frowning and looking away from him. "I simply wanted to prepare an easy appetizer to replenish energies, but this house is not yet prepared so the younger members of the family can make a full use of the whole functions and possibilities offered."

It wasn't common to see her so upset over something so mundane.

"You wanted a snack? I got here just in time, then" he said with a smile stepping closer and grabbing the jelly and peanut butter jars from the refrigerator.

Ignoring Lisa's snore, Lincoln hurriedly prepared the sandwiches his little sister love so much. Easy on the jelly, crusts cut off, and cut in four right triangles… or were they isosceles? A minute later, he had everything ready in a small plate, which he extended to his sister.

"Here, Lisa. Just the way you like it" he said, still smiling.

His smile started to vacillate when he saw that Lisa was just staring at the sandwiches he was offering her, without even trying to take them. She just kept looking at them.

"Lisa?" He called her.

His voice seemed to wake her up from the little trance she was into. She looked up at him and grabbed the plate.

"Sorry. It's just… I really like the way you make them" she simply said, without smiling. For some reason, those words didn't sound like a compliment to Lincoln, but like a simple observation dyed with an emotion he couldn't quite recognize.

Lisa grabbed the plate and distractedly said goodbye, turning around and trying to walk back into her room.

"Wait!"

Lincoln stepped forward and stopped his sister. When Lisa had extended her arm to grab the food, her left sleeve had loosen up a bit, and Lincoln had seen something. He gently took her left wrist and pulled her sleeve down, revealing a tiny forearm which what seemed to be a square paper glued to it around the middle.

"What's that?" He asked, confused.

His sister released herself from his grip.

"It's nothing."

"Lisa, what is that?" He repeated, stubbornly standing in front of her to keep her from leaving.

She sighed.

"It's a caffeine patch."

"What?! Lisa, you're four years old! Four! You can't drink coffee!" He said, scandalized.

"It' not coffee, it's caffeine. And in controlled doses."

"This can't be good for you!"

Lisa let out a short and sarcastic laugh, which made Lincoln even angrier.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"It's funny to think that you think you know what's best for me, when I'm the one who has a PhD, Lincoln" she coldly replied, walking past her brother.

He didn't say anything. He clenched his fist with his gaze fixed on the kitchen floor, as his younger sister walked by his side, heading to the stairs. He had to remind himself that she was only four years old. She was a kid. Had it been one of his older sisters the one who'd answer him like that, then a real verbal battle would have unfolded. He had to make a big effort to control his anger, and instead he let his worry to come afloat.

"Lisa."

He turned around to be able to see her. She stopped, barely turning her head so she could see him on the corner of her eye.

"Those caffeine patches… Why?"

"They help me stay awake."

"You shouldn't try to stay awake more than your body can take. You need to rest."

"No, Lincoln" she answered, looking forward once again and starting to walk away from him. "What I need is to save you."

Lori came down the stairs about three minutes later, and found Lincoln standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking worried at the floor. She asked him if he was okay, and he shrugged it off, saying he was just thinking about something. She didn't seem to buy it, but decided not to push it.

"I found it" Lori said, handing him a long cylindrical bag.

"Thanks" he said, taking it. He would've needed hours to find it between all the junk that was in the attic. Lori, luckily, had more experience about where his father left all his stuff.

"Listen, I'd help you with it, but Mom asked me to see if I can make Lily take a nap before dinner."

"Don't worry, Lori. You did more than enough for me today. I'll ask Leni to help me."

"Leni?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "You do know that you'll literally gonna have to give her all the step by step instructions so she can help you do it, right?"

Lincoln smiled.

"We'll be able to spend quite some time together, then."

* * *

Luna's whole day had been a real shit.

Waking up with a hangover had just been the start. She didn't have any time to recover or try to clear her mind when Lincoln went to see her, trying to talk with her. He was always worrying about his sisters. He often riled them all, but none of them could ever deny that he watched over every single one of them. He would move mountains for them, one rock at a time if needed. And when she needed him the most, he went to see her. He tried to speak with her, to make her realize that what she was doing was wrong. But even if his intentions were pure, and even if she wanted so badly to hug him and never let him go, his simple presence was hurting her.

It hurt to see him. It hurt to feel his touch. It hurt to hear him. It hurt because she loved him, she loved him with all her heart, in a way that she had never loved any other boy in the world, and surely would never again love someone else. Her brother. Her little brother. That same baby she'd cradled in the hospital minutes after his birth, when she couldn't even read yet. She loved being with him, but ever since she'd find out he was soon going to die, to see him was like a cruel joke. A reminder. It was double the pain: not only she'd have to suffer his departure, she also had to suffer the waiting.

What she was feeling was hard to explain. She wasn't really sure it had a name. It hurt to live the present, because she knew that nothing would ever be the same soon, and she also knew that she would be suffering when remembering these very same moments, his last moments with his family. It filled her heart with love to see him trying to cheer her up, to help her, to understand her, but at the same time it hurt her so much, because she knew he soon wouldn't be walking into her room anymore. It was a strange concept, a new idea for her. She was experiencing nostalgia of the present: to live with the grief of knowing that soon she would be missing the present time.

The pain was real. Real and palpable. It consumed her, it made her feel an emptiness like she'd never experienced before. And she didn't want that. She wasn't ready for that kind of pain. So she told Lincoln to please leave her alone. Because if he kept talking to her, she would've ended up crying.

And she didn't want to cry.

During the rest of the day, she did everything she could to keep herself busy. Keeping her promise of playing with Lola was useful for a while. A tea party she was voluntarily attending to as a guest and not as a butler could be actually pretty funny. She was thankful that Lola didn't insist on questioning her about the previous night and her fight with Lori. She noticed a different trait, like she was afraid that Luna would suddenly start screaming at her just like she'd done with Lori, but they had a very good time overall.

Lunch was much harder. Sitting in the same table as Lori and her parents wasn't easy. Eloquent looks. Silences accusing more than any word. Even Luan knew that things were too tense to even a little comic relief. The only one who actually tried to include her in the conversation was Leni. Luna loved her older sister. Not only she was always helping her making her own clothes —with so many instruments and amps, she barely had any budget left—, she had always been there for her whenever she had needed her. Leni was a better older sister that most people gave her credit about. She was always so worried about everyone else. Always willing to sacrifice time to make them feel better. Always ready to give a hug to whoever may need it.

After lunch, while she was still getting all her instruments ready to take to the garage, Luan went inside their room and locked the door behind her.

"Luna… We need to talk" she had said.

"Luan, I don't want to—"

"Forgive me" she interrupted her, running into her arms. "All these days, you tried to talk with me, and I ignored you. You needed me, and I wasn't there for you at all."

"Luany..."

"But I'm here now" she continued. "I'm here for you. You don't have to carry all that pain by yourself.

She loved Luan. She was more than her sister, she was her best friend, her confident, the pillar where she supported herself in times of need. The last few days, where she had entered her mime mode had been pretty harsh for Luna. And although she'd apologized the day before, to know that she could count on her once more was a relief for Luna. To be able to hug her again worked as a catalyst.

Many tissues were spend in very few hours, taking advantage of the acoustic isolation inside the walls of their room. Luna could finally relief some of the stress she was carrying on, but she averted any attempt of talking about Lincoln. She cried for having her little sister back, for knowing that she wasn't alone in her pain. But she actively avoided to be overpowered by the pain. She didn't want to. She wouldn't stand it.

She thought those sorrowful hours would be enough. That there weren't going to be more strong emotions for the rest of the day, at least. But she was wrong.

* * *

Usually, Luna always lied down on her bed to sleep with her headphones on. Rock always helped her clear her mind, to relax and finally sleep. That wasn't an option anymore, though. All the lyrics suddenly had another meaning. Every song in the universe seemed to be trying to make her remember. And she just wanted to forget. The problem was that she was really used to her headphones, so during her first night without music, she couldn't fall asleep as fast as she would have preferred. It was impossible to know how long she remained staring at her wall. It was probably for a little over an hour, even if she'd felt it like many hours had passed.

The utterly silence was broken when someone opened her bedroom's door. If it hadn't been because she was fully awake, she wouldn't have ever listened it. Whoever was opening the door was doing it carefully enough as to not cause the smallest sound. Luna would've bet it was Lucy. She sat on her bed to see who it was and what were they doing trying to get into her bedroom so late in the night.

The light coming from the window wasn't enough to make a face distinguishable, but that white hair had always shone under the moonlight.

"Lincoln?" She called him in a whisper, not wanting to wake Luan, whose snores told her that she was having a good night of sleep.

The door stopped being opened, and the pause made the hinges grind.

"Luna?" He asked. "You awake?"

"What are you doing, bro?" She asked, carefully climbing down her bed and approaching Lincoln.

Yeah, she was trying to stop thinking about him, about what was going to happen. But she was still his older sister, and she needed to make sure she was okay, that he didn't need anything.

He opened the door a little more, and took a step near his sister. Now that he was closer, she could clearly see Lincoln's eyes, glowing and beautiful. They were those same eyes that long ago had told her that they loved her to infinity and beyond. The eyes that were lately invading her dreams, and her nightmares too.

"Luna, come with me" he asked, grabbing her hand.

"Where?"

The question had the solely purpose of satisfy her curiosity. She would've followed him to the end of the world if he asked her to. She would've taken him to the beach to walk in the sand, or to the forest to lie between the leafs and bushes until sunrise. She didn't want to suffer, but she would've endured a thousand daggers had Lincoln asked her to.

"Outside."

Still holding her hand, he started to walk to the hall. She followed him, leaving the door slightly open, afraid that the sound of closing it could wake Luan up. She walked behind him in silence as they climbed down the stairs. Did he really wanted to go outside? So late in the night? What did he wanted to do? To take a walk around the neighborhood? That wasn't safe. But when they reached the ground floor he didn't head to the entry door, he instead turned in the kitchen's direction, heading to the backdoor that led to the backyard. Carefully, Lincoln opened the door, and walked along his sister outside.

The two siblings were received with a cold breeze that their pajamas couldn't attenuate. Luna suffered specially, since her sleeping attire consisted only in her underwear and a long purple T-shirt that only covered until half her thighs. The cold air of the night made her shiver, and she felt goosebumps in her legs. She was about to ask her brother where he was taking her, when he noticed something in the farthest end of the backyard.

"Is that dad's tent?" She asked, clearly confused. Why had Lincoln set up the family Canadian tent? Was he actually planing on sleeping outside?

"Let's go" he simply said.

They walked down the three steps that separated the kitchen level from the ground, and they walked to the tent. The sensation of their barefoot stepping over the grass covered in the night dew was funny, but pleasant. Maybe Lana was the only one who enjoyed playing in the mud, but every Loud loved some fresh air, to be outside. Luna imagined that it was probably like that since, with so many people living in such a small house where everything was cramped, the sensation of being outside helped them decompress some.

When they got to the tent, Lincoln opened it up and guided Luna inside. She said nothing. She simply let him guide her, and listened to what he said.

"Go to the left side, carefully. There's some stuff in the ground."

Doing as she was told, she carefully crawled in the dark by the left side of the tent. Her hands and knees soon found out not only that there were a couple of blankets, but also some pillows. She was starting to be worried. Why was Lincoln acting so mysterious? At first she thought that he needed something, maybe needed some help, but now she was starting to suspect that Lincoln had something going on.

"Dude, what's all this? Why did you bring me here?"

"I checked and everyone else is sleeping" he simply said, slowly closing the tent. "Only Lori and Leni know about this."

"What are you talking about? Why did you bring me here?" She asked again.

After he finished closing the tent, Lincoln sat in front of her sister, and his right hand grabbed a nearby object.

"Because we need to talk" he said, just as he turned the camp lamp on.

Luna shielded her eyes with one hand from the light. She blinked a couple of times, and she quickly got used to the new visibility. When Lincoln put the light down, she finally could see her brother's face with clarity. Beautiful, as always. She also saw the blankets and pillows, all from Lincoln's room. But what really caught her attention was that, on the right side of the tent, there was her acoustic guitar, carefully resting over its case.

"What are you doing with my guitar?" She asked. It wasn't her intention to sound so accusing.

"I brought it."

"For me?"

"For us."

"I'm not gonna play it."

"Can we talk before?"

"And what do you—?" Luna stopped herself when she realized the tone she was using to talk with poor Lincoln. She felt terribly guilty. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't… What do you want to talk about?"

"You, Luna" said Lincoln, getting a little closer. "I want to know how are you."

"You know how I am, Linc" she answered, embracing her knees against her chest. "You don't need me to tell you that, and I don't want to say it out loud."

"I think… I think that's the problem, Luna" he softly said. "You can't keep all your emotions locked up inside you."

"Stop" said Luna, closing her eyes, like if just because she wasn't seeing him the words wouldn't affect her the same. "I know what you're trying to do. Don't. Please."

"Luna, you can't run away from this."

"Stop it."

"Maybe… Maybe you can avoid me for the time I have left in here..."

"No, no, Lincoln, I don't want to—" she started, opening her eyes again. She didn't want to ignore Lincoln. She didn't want to miss her last moments with him. That's not what she wanted. But… It was so hard to see him… It hurt so much...

"...and I would never blame you if you decided to do that" Lincoln continued, oblivious to his sister's interruption. "I'd understand. But in the end I'm going to die, and you can't escape from that."

"STOP IT!"

Lincoln fell silent. He didn't want to push her beyond what was necessary, so he let her sob as much as she needed. He could wait for her, since they had the whole night ahead just for the two of them. Luna was thankful for the silence, for him allowing her to have her own time. And she was specially grateful for the space he was giving her, for him not getting closer to hug her or wipe her tears. That would've made her worse. Doing a superhuman effort, she finally got a grip on herself. Not entirely, but enough to be able to speak.

"Lincoln, what do you want from me? Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want?" She asked with honesty, really wishing to understand what was her brother up to.

"Of course I don't want to see you crying" he said, almost succumbing to the impulse of throwing himself at her arms and hug her tightly. "I hate to see you guys like this, any of you. What I… The only thing I want right now is to have my rocker sister back, the best musician in the whole world.

"That's it, then?" Luna asked, suddenly a little more hostile. "All of this… Is just so you can see me play? Is it really that hard for you to understand that there's more in me than music?"

Lincoln's face adopted an expression of sadness, hurt by those words. In any other situation, Luna would've apologized, but at that moment she was really pissed off. In a way, she had always hoped that Lincoln would understand her better than the rest of her siblings. With every afternoon they spend together, all those times she'd help him with his homework when neither Lori or their parents had time for him, all those hours they had both been working on accessories for their clothes… She'd always thought that he could see beyond her musical facade, that he loved her for who she really was. The disillusion hurt almost as bad as everything else.

"Luna, you know I love you."

She didn't say anything.

"You… Those things you're saying… Those are lies."

"Then why don't you let me decide if I want to keep playing or quitting on music?" She asked.

"Because I know you too much, Luna, I know you since I was born" he said, with a mixture of impatience and sadness in his voice. "You're my big sister, and I know that you're only using music as an excuse. I… I know why you're really doing this."

Luna wanted to believe that she had no idea what her brother was talking about, but deep down she knew. She wanted to believe that what she said to the other was true, that she really had locked up all her instruments because she didn't want them to think that that's all there was about her. She wanted to buy her own lie. But no matter how convincing her lie was to herself, she knew the truth. And she realized, she just realized, that Lincoln knew it too.

"You say you're quitting on music because you don't want it to define you" Lincoln started, "but actually you're dropping it because it reminds you of me."

"Lincoln..."

"We'll talk about that later" he said, raising a hand to silence her. "But I know that even though it's an excuse, there's some truth to you in what you say about music and you. So I want to be clear on this."

And then he did a first movement that teared down all the defenses Luna was trying to build around her: he grabbed her by the hand. And that contact pierced through her walls, it sorted out every obstacle she was trying to build between her heart and the world. As always, Lincoln managed to reach the deepest part of her soul. It wasn't just the contact, it was the sum of everything else. The context, the place, the situation, his hand, his look. His voice. His words.

"You're not just music" he said, looking straight into her eyes with such intensity that threatened to set her on fire. "You're much more than that. You inspire us all beyond all the instruments you can play. Luna, you inspire me."

The knot on her throat was too tight, barely letting the air come in and out of her lungs.

"You taught me to enjoy everything I do, to make my favorite activities with passion. You're an example of dedication, always practicing to be better. You weren't always a rock fan, and yet I've always loved you, Luna. Always. Because even without music, you live by a simple yet powerful rule: _rock and roll is not about being the best, it's about having fun_. And you have fun."

Lincoln slowly let go his sister's hand, and she felt the absence of his heat as if someone had just teared her arm off. He moved inside the tent and grabbed Luna's acoustic guitar. Before his sister's astonished look, Lincoln rolled up his pajamas sleeve, showing his forearm filled with annotations that could barely be seen with the light of the lamp.

"Music is just a way to express your true personality, which I love. Which I see. And so I prepared you this song, so you can realize that."

Looking away from his sister's eyes and focusing on the guitar, Lincoln started to play. His chords sounded a little forced, not so clean. He wasn't strumming all the rhythm, he was just playing the chord progression. And when he started to sing, he sang off-key, out of tune, with troubles coordinating his strumming with the lyrics. He also skipped the first chorus, going straight to the second verse. It was an objectively poor performance, but even to Luna's well trained ears, it sounded simply perfect. Never any kind of music had sounded so beautiful to her, and she wondered if she was really listening with her ears, or if perhaps the vibrations were simply flying straight into her heart.

 _You with the sad eyes_  
 _Don't be discouraged_  
 _Oh I realize_  
 _Its hard to take courage_  
 _In a world full of people_  
 _You can lose sight of it all_  
 _And the darkness inside you_  
 _M_ _ake_ _s_ _you feel so small_

 _Show me a smile then_  
 _Don't be unhappy_  
 _C_ _an't remember_ _w_ _hen_  
 _I last saw you laughing_  
 _If this world makes you crazy_  
 _And you've taken all you can bear_  
 _You call me up_  
 _Because you know I'll be there_

 _And_ _I see your true color_ _s_  
 _Shining through_  
 _I see your true colors_  
 _And that's why I love you_  
 _So don't be afraid to let them show_  
 _Your true colors,_ _t_ _rue colors_  
 _A_ _re beautifu_ _l_  
 _Like a rainbow_

Apparently, Lincoln had only wrote down in his forearms the chords up until the chorus. When he finished it, he realized he didn't know what to play to end the song, so he simply strummed down the last chord one last time, letting the strings slowly vibrating, with the sound fading down in the air.

Never had a song meant so much for Luna like the one Lincoln had song sang to her. Never had a lyric left such a big imprint in her heart. God damn you, Phil Collins.

It wasn't easy not to cry in that situation, but she kept her composure. She stayed strong. She tried to raise her stone walls around her heart, those same walls Lincoln seemed to be willing to take down at any cost. And now there were no doubts about it, Lincoln knew what she was going through.

Perhaps he didn't know the details, but he understood the process Luna had been going through in less than a week. He knew that all she wanted was to escape from the pain. At first she locked herself in the garage, playing non stop. For a couple of days, that had been enough. But then her songs became sadder and sadder. Her fingers started to mess up, to play the wrong chords, the wrong scales. Suddenly, playing in her garage wasn't enough to distract her. She then tried to play with an audience. The magic of the stage had always kept her away from her problems. But that failed her too. Music had failed her. She didn't know what to do now to avoid the hurt, the pain. To get distracted. To stop thinking.

That's all she wanted. To stop thinking. It was the most basic instinct, the instinct of self-preservation. Wasn't it natural to want to avoid things that hurt her?

"Luna."

Lincoln's voice bought her back to the tent, snapping her away from her train of thoughts.

"The day music means nothing to you, then quit it" he slowly said. "Wherever I may be, I'll support you if that's what you really feel. But I can't let you stop doing the things you like just because you're afraid."

"It's more than that" she difficulty said.

"Not really."

"You don't… You don't understand, Lincoln. You don't understand" she repeated, shaking her head, trying to keep her tears from leaving the corner of her eyes. "You don't know how I feel."

A motorcycle passed by the street in front of the Loud house, and the sound of the motor broke the silence. That and the sound of some crickets was everything that could be heard. Luna felt some movement, and opened her eyes. Lincoln was kneeling in front of her, extending her guitar, like he was offering it as a tribute. She looked at the guitar, and then at her brother.

"No" she said, kindly pushing the guitar away, like if she was refusing a plate of food.

"Maybe you're right, maybe I don't know how you feel" he said, so low that the backyard crickets almost made him impossible to be heard. "If it is like that… Then I want to know. I want to help you, but I can't if I don't know how are you feeling. Show me."

He offered her the guitar once again, and they intertwined their gazes. An emotional duel so intense that WrestleMania would've come off as a kids tantrum: Lincoln's plea versus Luna's obstinacy to not surrender to the pain. A tug-of-war between the two of them, trying to convince the other one, none willing to give up. However, there's more to win to whom has less to lose, and in Lincoln's case, he had nothing to lose. He held his gaze, until Luna finally sighed and dropped her head, defeated. With trembling hands, she took the acoustic guitar and put it on her legs like she'd done so many times before, like it was an extension of her body.

She had to show him how she felt. She had to expose her feelings with a song. In any other scenario, that would've been an extremely simple request for Luna Loud. She knew at least a dozen songs for every possible situation. And, actually, it wasn't hard for her to come up with a song that talked about her feelings. The ideas and names were coming to her non stop. But how to choose between so many songs? Which one would make justice to what she was actually feeling? And which song could she sing without breaking down in front of Lincoln? _Tears in Heaven_ was completely out of discussion. She could never hear that song again without feeling pain in her heart. _Against all odds_? No, enough Collins for a night. Maybe one from that Canadian female singer from the early 2000's, like _Keep holding on_ or maybe _When you're gone_. No, the weren't enough neither. _Don't Cry, I remember you, Everything I do, My Immortal,_ _Meet you there,_ _Wake me up when September ends_? No, no, she didn't want to sing those songs. None of them could truly describe how she felt inside. And the songs that actually did, they would make her cry. And Luna didn't want to have her little brother watching her cry.

"Luna" he called her, snapping his fingers in front of his sister's lost eyes. "Don't think it too much. Play with your heart, not your head."

Her brother's encouraging words, in a situation like this, only made her feel worst. And at the same time, that was all she needed to surpass her music block. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and play her guitar strings. Perfectly tuned, just like she'd left it. And then… Then her hands started to play on their own. Her body… no, her heart simply found the rhythm and the chords. She even had to listen for a couple of seconds before realizing which song she was playing.

She opened up her eyes to see Lincoln's face. She needed to see him, she needed him to know that she meant every word.

 _I don't want this moment to ever end_  
 _Where everything's nothing without you_  
 _I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile_  
 _'Cause it's true: I am nothing without you_

 _Through it all, I made my mistakes_  
 _I stumble and fall, but I mean these words_

 _I want you to know_  
 _W_ _ith everything, I won't let this go_  
 _These words are my heart and soul_  
 _I'll hold on to this moment, you know_  
 _As_ _I bleed my heart out to show_  
 _T_ _hat I won't let go_

She was pretty sure that she hadn't blink ed during the song. All she could see was Lincoln's face, illuminated by the lamp's light that he held next to his body. She had her eyes set on her little brother, but as she went through the song, his image was getting blurrier and blurrier. She couldn't see him as clearly anymore due to the tears that were starting to gather in her eyes.

She could only finish the chorus before she had to stop playing. Her breathing was agitated, her heart hurt her with every beat, and her eyes stung. Her fingers let go the neck of her guitar, which she let fall between Lincoln and her. Her whole body was shaking, at it wasn't because of the cold night air in the tent. Her chills and goosebumps had nothing to do with her lack of clothes, they were all due to internal sensations. She closer her eyes and pressed her knees against her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible, trying to disappear. Her lips were trembling, but she didn't want to cry. She tried to stop her mind from thinking. She was a scared child, standing on the tight rope, fearful of falling to the abyss.

"Luna, I'm here" Lincoln told her, gently stroking his sister's naked arm.

Luna felt like his touch was burning her. It was an unbearable pain to feel him so close, knowing he'd soon be so far away.

"No one is going to hear you, it's just you and me" he insisted. "You can cry, I'm gonna be here for you."

"I-I don't want to cry… It hu-hurts… It hurts so much..." she complained, and Lincoln could feel the words grazing her throat on their way out, as she stifled a sob.

"I know."

And those two words stopped Luna's world. Nothing else made sense, nothing else mattered. Not the light of the lamp, nor the darkness of the night, nor the sound of the wind against the tent. All her brain could process was the way Lincoln had pronounced those two words. Fearing what she would see, she slowly looked up, only to find herself facing an image that added a new scar on her mistreated heart.

Lincoln, making a big effort to smile at her as two thin threads of tears fell down at each side of his face, leaving a shining wake behind them.

"I know it hurts. I know, it hurts me too. It hurts a lot" he said, roughly wiping his cheeks with his forearm. "But it's supposed to hurt, it's supposed to..."

A small whimper escaped his mouth and kept him from finishing. Lincoln then simply grabbed the guitar.

I went to Tabby's house today. I told her everything, and I asked her to help me find a special song for you. We were about to choose _We all fall down_ by _Aero is Myth_ , but then we found this one, and…

The words died in his throat. He just put the guitar back into position, checked the annotations on his forearm and then he started to play with the same lack of technique and talent than the first time, but with twice the feeling.

 _Seven forty two in the morning_  
 _Eight seconds before it all sinks in_  
 _Put your best face on for the world_  
 _Fake another smile and just pretend_

 _But you're just puttin_ _g_ _off the pain_  
 _Nothing's ever really gonna change_

 _So let it hurt, let it bleed_  
 _Let it take you right down to your knees_  
 _Let it burn to the worst degree_  
 _May not be what you want, but it's what you need_  
 _Sometimes the only way around it_  
 _Is to let love do it's work_

He couldn't finish the chorus, he didn't say the last line. Just like the previous time, Lincoln let the last chord fade away inside the tent. His glistering eyes, shedding tears, were fixed in Luna. And she could only stare at him back.

They didn't say anything, because there was no need for words.

Lincoln presented her the guitar one more time. He put it in her hands, and that simple act finished the lyrics, silently saying the line he couldn't say:

 _Let it hurt._

For most people, Luna was already crying. Small teardrops were slowly falling down from her eyes, leaving little salty trails, like the trail a snail leaves on its slow march. So yes, perhaps she was technically crying. She didn't feel those tears, though, she didn't feel her shirt getting damped, the wetness on her chest and her arms. What little tears were falling were just her eyes excess, the tears she physically couldn't contain anymore.

She thought she was still being strong, that she wasn't crying yet. She grabbed her guitar and clenched her fingers around its neck so hard she almost loses another instrument. She saw her brother's tears, Lincoln's pleading face. He was there for her. He wasn't trying to tell her that everything was going to be alright, that they would eventually feel better, like her father did every night after the younger siblings went to bed. Lincoln wasn't there to keep her from crying, as she had first believed.

He was there to cry along.

It wasn't necessary, since Lincoln didn't have too much musical knowledge, but Luna quickly tuned her guitar a half tone lower. The song she was about to sing had really high parts her voice couldn't reach in the standard tuning. Once she was ready, she started to strum the chords, her hand gently sliding over the chords. As she started to sing with all the emotion she was capable of putting into a song, she felt something different. It was like life was escaping from her with every note she played, like all the pain she had been keeping inside her had found a way out. It was like more than the guitar strings, she was gently tugging her heartstrings.

Thus, with her heart and soul exposed, she sang her brother everything that she was feeling.

 _Brother, why'd you have to go?_  
 _You left us all so soon._  
 _Remember that song I wrote about our family years ago?_  
 _Well, they're all waiting for you to come home._

 _What do I do?_  
 _What do I say?_  
 _And Dad tells me to pray._  
 _So I pray and pray but the hurt won't go away._

 _The pain gets worse, it never stops,_  
 _And I've asked the Lord for us to swap._  
 _I beg and plead, 'cause_ _we all need you here_ _._

 _Why is it always stormy weather?_  
 _And brother_ _t_ _ell me if it all gets better._  
 _Why did you leave? Why did you die?_  
 _You finally made your_ _sister_ _cry._  
 _I know you're watching over us tonight,_  
 _And I hope you're watching over us tonight._

Many different things happened in just an instant. Luna had sang the chorus with all her energy, to the point where her throat felt numb. And she hadn't broke the visual contact with Lincoln throughout the song. He was still crying like a kid, like a beautiful, little and scared child, and Luna couldn't be strong any longer. Everybody had a limit, and she'd reached hers.

As soon as she finished singing the chorus, she threw her guitar away, not worrying where or how it fell. She opened her arms and knelt forward. Lincoln wasted no time, and right away he jumped straight into his sister's embrace, burying his face in her chest. It was at that moment when Luna decided to stop concealing what she felt. After the first tear voluntarily escaped her eyes, the rest followed soon as a torrent. Luna hugged him tighter against her and cried with the force of a vomiting person, letting out all the whimpers, sobs and cries that had been stagnant in her throat all these days.

During the rest of the night, every time she managed to gather enough breath to say something, Luna repeated how much she loved him. How much she needed him. How it was all so unfair. How much she'd miss him. She told him over and over that she didn't want him to leave, that he was her little brother, that he couldn't leave her. She asked God out loud not to let it happen, as she covered Lincoln's face with kisses and caresses.

It wasn't a pretty picture. They were both a confusing mass of sweat, tears, snot and desolation. United in an embrace of pain and sorrow, there were no magic words to help them, no way out, nowhere to hide.

In that tent, beneath the black night and with the stars as their witnesses, there was only truth.

* * *

 **.**

 **The songs used in this chapter were: ' _You'll be in my heart'_ (Phil Collins, Tarzan's Soundtrack), ' _I don't want to miss a thing'_ (Aerosmith), ' _True Colors'_ (Phil Collins, again), ' _With me'_ (Sum 41), ' _Let it hurt'_ (Rascal Flatts) and ' _Brother'_ (Falling in Reverse). This is nothing important, but that list of songs Luna considered to sing were all songs I considered to use in this chapter. Instead of ' _With me_ ', Luna was originally going to sing ' _When you're gone_ ' or ' _Keep holding on_ ' by Avril Lavigne, but… I don't know, I really like Sum 41. And just like Lincoln said, instead of ' _Let it hurt_ ' I was going to go with ' _We all fall down_ ' by Aerosmith. But Let it Hurt was just so... "bullseye" with what I tried to convey… Anyway, I invite you to hear those three songs that were cut out of the chapter, to have an even better understanding of how the characters felt.**

 **Next chapter will be different from any other chapter so far. I don't have a name for I yet. It'll be special.**


	16. Silver Lake

_Mandatory apologies: I was absolutely certain that "True Colors" was an original song from Phil Collins. I didn't know it was a cover. Anyway, it's one of his classic songs (he always plays it live), so I don't think it matters to the story. But I didn't know this, so I'm admitting this blooper anyway, hahaha._

 _Alright, this chapter is a little oasis. We'll cool it off a little here, we'll take a break from the feels. I have a very visual imagination when I'm writing and picturing the scenes in my head, and the second half of this chapter makes a little more sense in a cinematographic way than in a novel/fanfic way, hahaha. I believe it serves its purpose, though. Anyone who wants to exchange opinions on this matter, feel free to send me a message here or in Tumblr._

 _In this chapter I have one paragraph talking about Michigan. Since I live in the other side of the continent and I've never traveled to North America, I did a very light research on Wikipedia and I filled the rest with my imagination. So, sorry if there's someone from Michigan reading this and I screwed up._

 _Thanks a lot to_ **endevor-NeverEnding** _once again for pointing out several grammatical mistakes and typos in the last chapter. And also to:_

 **Boris** **Y** **eltsin, Exotos135** _(I don't really agree, but that's just my opinion, hahaha)_ , **Omega Ultra, Insane Master Writer Studio, Guest#1** _(thank you for pointing it out that it was a Cyndi Lauper song. I didn't know that),_ **Emmaelise401, Dread** _(we still have quite a road to go before the end!),_ **MikeTheHuman113** _(their spotlight is coming soon!)_ **, That Guy That Likes Stuff, FanficFan920, Angel Star Ninja, oOoWoLfwrIT3roOo** _(thank you for giving this story a chance, I'm glad you like it so far)_ **, YamiKonamiSalamiNation, HftLover, D-Structs, Guest#2** _(yeah, I was talking about 'Living Louder', amazing song)_ **, Guest#3, Codymitchell1, Hopeful Man** _(hope is the last thing we lost, Hopeful Man!)_ **, celrock, shadowprove97, BoukenDutch** ( _I don't know, man. Lately it's taking me longer to translate than to write the damn chapter, hahaha. I can't tell how long it'll take me to update_ _),_ **Emperor of Performances** _(well, you're right! when I planned out the story I wanted each sister to represent a different way to deal with the pain)_ **, STR2D3PO, The Critik, venomsdragon14** _(I fucking love Tarzan too)_ **, Chuglife, Dead heart 9, I M Rally, TheAwesomCoolJay, ExMarkSpot, ImpossibleJedi4, erica-phoenix16** _(yes, they are the same songs in the spanish version :D)_ , **LoudSin** _(I think that quote might be "Things aren't beautiful because they last", right? When he's with Ultron at the end?)_ , **TheCarpetCrawler, Starshine89, ElectricLoud, Guest#4, FrofeeTrush, piotyr-wysocki, Tsukimine12, Samtastic 3-0, Jazz** _(I answered your first 4 questions in my_ _T_ _umblr!)_ , **DeepDishes, Hatoralo, Grim-XIII, E, jack-leighton-712, Secret life of writing** _(well, no, Luna isn't cured. Neither are Luan or Lynn)_ , **Mini-Crushies.**

* * *

 **.**

 **C** **hapter 16: Silver Lake.**

 **.**

From the very moment he woke up, Lincoln knew he was sleeping on the tent he and Leni had set up in their house backyard. The sound of the wind blowing against the tent and the semi darkness didn't confuse him nor scared him. He didn't also find strange that his feet were cold, since they'd been out of the blanket for the most part of the night, and even though judging by the light that was filtering from the outside the day was promising to have a nice weather, the tent didn't offer much protection against the night cold. Only his feet had that problem, though. All his upper body was comfortable and warm. It wasn't only because that part was indeed covered by the blankets, it was also because he was literally laying on top of his sister Luna, with his head resting on her chest and his sister's arms embracing him over his shoulders.

It had been a long night. They had cried a lot. They had expressed all the feelings they'd hidden deep inside of them. According to his watch, they had stayed awake until three in the morning, which meant they had cried all their fears, all their sadness, all their pain for almost five hours. When the weariness consumed all their energies and they ran out of tears, Luna lay down. Her arms didn't let go of her little brother, so she dragged him along, letting him rest atop her. Ten days ago Lincoln might have found that situation a little awkward, but right then he could only feel grateful for having sisters that loved him so much. The position reminded him of previous years, when he was a kid, a young little kid, and some of his older sisters would decide to have a nap with him.

"Luna, do you remember that song you used to sing me when I was a kid?" He had asked.

"Yeah" she answered, stroking little locks of his hair.

"Do you think…? Could you…?"

He was afraid it would sound stupid, that it would make him look childish. He couldn't finish the question, but Luna understood him anyway, and it didn't even crossed her mind to make fun of him. She simply started to sing him the same old song she'd sang him so many times before. She sang it, feeling Lincoln's chest moving with each breath, until the movement was slow and steady. Only when her brother fell asleep, she allowed herself to surrender to her tiredness.

They had both unburden all they had been keeping inside. And even if Lincoln's idea had been to help his sister, the truth is that he needed it too. He hadn't realized how much he needed to be able to cry openly, to be able to mourn with anyone else for what was happening to him. For him, that night had also lifted a weight off his shoulders.

He thought he heard the sound of some voices from very far away, so he carefully sat up next to his sister. She also started o move a little and mumble something. After yawning and stretching his arms, Lincoln checked the time on his wrist watch, Adrien's watch. It was nine o'clock on Sunday morning. The rest of his sisters were probably having breakfast right now.

"Luna" he called her, gently shaking her shoulder.

His sister finally reacted, opening up her eyes. She did seemed to be a little confused for an instant, but her eyes quickly focused on Lincoln. She also sat up and stretched her arms, trying to fully wake herself.

"Morning, bro" she said, getting close enough to give him a kiss on his cheek.

"Sorry for waking you up."

"No, it's okay" she assured him, flinching a little and taking a hand to her lower back. "Ouch. I guess you're not as lightweight as you used to. I think I know why I stopped taking naps with you."

Lincoln couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing, to his sister's amusement.

"Don't worry, Linky" she said, giggling. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Nine in the morning. We should go and have some breakfast."

He started to get up, but Luna grabbed him by his sleeve. He looked back to see what she wanted, but before he could react, his sister gave him yet another kiss on his right cheek.

"Let's go, _sweet child o' mine_ " she whispered, smiling at him as she stood up and opened the tent's entry.

Hearing her speaking in lyrics was enough to plant a big smile on Lincoln's face. Luna stepped out of the tent, and he stood up to follow her, but at the last second he remembered that he'd left his bedroom's key inside Luna's guitar case, to avoid losing it. After so many years without any kind of privacy, he was still having trouble getting used to having to carry a key. Once he took it and put it in one of his pockets, he walked out of the tent as well.

The day, as he'd supposed, was incredibly nice. Only little strokes of white interrupted the radiant blue sky. There was a small breeze that, with them being in their pajamas only, was a little uncomfortable, but it wasn't that much of a problem. They crossed the backyard heading to the kitchen's backdoor, regretting not having their shoes and walking barefoot on the wet grass. As he walked along his sister, Lincoln realized he felt different. He felt like he was having more energy, he noticed he was more optimist, he felt more… alive. It was more than the sensation of knowing his sister was a bit better. It was more than feeling a great weight off his shoulders. It mas more than just an emotional state. It was like his body had rested several weeks overnight.

He thought such a dramatic change after only one night was really strange, but he was not going to complain. It had been a long time since he felt so good.

"Have you thought what we're gonna tell Lucy, Lola, Lana and Lisa if they wonder what were we doing?" Asked Luna, as they got nearer the kitchen.

"Um… No, actually" he said, moving a hand to his nape. "I guess we can, I don't know, improvise something?"

Luna turned around to flash him a smile.

"We'll figure something out. Although… "she said, and her smile hesitated, "when are you planning on telling them girls? You got four of your sisters in the dark, Lincoln. I still believe they have the right to know the truth."

"Lisa knows" he simply said. He was walking right behind his sister, so he bumped into her when she suddenly stopped.

"Lisa?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "But… when…?"

"She figured it out on her own" he answered.

Luna seemed to be utterly surprised by that revelation. She remained in silence for several seconds, with her gaze lost.

"Wow… I guess I should've seen that coming. But… How did she took it?" She asked, biting her lower lip.

Lincoln sighed. Was it worth it telling Luna that their younger sister was looking for a cure for his disease? No. He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't give his older sisters any kind of hope. What if Lisa didn't make it? His older sisters were already suffering like they never had so far in their lives. He felt and saw their pain, the burden of the situation, the agony of the resignation. They were just suffering so much as if to give them the hope that it all might be avoided. If he gave them that hope and then took it from them, he would be causing them twice the tremendous pain. He himself preferred to pretend that Lisa wasn't working on anything, because not even he dared to believe there was a chance that it might all turn out okay. It was too good to be true. He couldn't let himself be that naive.

"She's dealing this in her own way" he answered, avoiding Luna's eyes, fearing that his sister might see that he wasn't being totally honest with her. "I'll try to speak with her, but for now I think she needs some time on her own. I'll talk with them all, soon. I… I know I can't keep them away from this much longer. I promise you I'll tell them."

If she noticed anything weird in Lincoln, Luna didn't let on. She simply nodded, took a look at the kitchen's door to make sure that there was no one looking at them, and she gave him a tight hug.

"It's okay, bro. Take… Just do it when you're ready. You know you can count with the rest of us for whatever you need, right?"

"Of course" he assured her, hugging her too. "And you know that anytime you want to talk, play or just be with me you just got to ask, right?"

"Yes" she said with a smile, breaking off from the hug. It was clear that she didn't want to get too emotional and cry before breakfast. "I know. Let's get inside, dude."

They climbed those little steps before the kitchen's backdoor and Luna opened it up, going inside followed close by her brother. Unfortunately, all their sisters were there already, so Lincoln knew they would have to come up with an excuse about why he'd slept in a tent with Luna. Luckily, though, some small arguments were taking place right now between Lucy and Lynn, and the twins. Maybe, if they were quiet enough, they could…

"I con!"

Lily crawled her way to her brother, babbling until she reached his legs, tugging his pajama bottoms to get his attention. She did not only got Lincoln's attention, but also alerted the other eight girls that Lincoln and Luna had just entered the kitchen, in their pajamas, from the backyard. The fights ended abruptly. The few seconds of silence were everlasting for Lincoln, whom just waited for the surprise to pass and for his sisters to start their assault on him. And just as he predicted, three seconds after Lily caught everyone's attention and ruined Lincoln's chances of tiptoeing his way out, the twins, Lucy, Lynn and Luan gathered around him and Luna, all of them speaking at the same time. Luan seemed barely worried, mostly interested in knowing where had they been. Lynn did looked kind of worried about Lincoln, but he couldn't take her worry seriously because he was focusing more on the fact that she was wearing an apron and kitchen gloves. Lucy was asking with suspicion, while the twins had left their differences aside to complain about not having been invited to a secret party.

Lincoln sighed, as his sisters kept throwing him questions. He had enough experience with this kind of chaos, so he simply decided to stop trying to focus on what they were saying, and just ignored them until they settled down. He ducked and lifted Lily from the ground. She wasn't asking him where he'd been, she didn't demand to know where had he spend the night or why she wasn't invited. She was just happy to see him again, and she showed it by grabbing some locks of his hair and playfully pulling them, causing him some pain. He let her play with his hair, until his baby sister threatened to tear his scalp. He quickly gave her a little kiss on the tip of her nose, making her laugh and releasing her grip.

"Lincoln, we're talking to you!" Complained Lana and Lola, getting their brother's attention.

"Alright" he finally said, resigned, cradling his baby sister so she wouldn't be pulling his hair. "What were you saying?"

"We want to know where have you been!" Asked Lana, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And what was Luna doing with you!" Added Lola, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh, yeah, right", he started to say, trying to earn some time to come up with an excuse. "Well… You see..."

He came up with many excuses in his head, each one more improbable and less credible than the last. His younger sisters were innocent and easily manipulable for someone as sharp and perceptive as Lincoln. But they were no fools, and when they were angry, not even the best excuse could convince them. They might even reject the truth. Fortunately, Luna save him the trouble.

"Guys, it was my fault" she said, stepping forward. "I was really pissed off last night, so I sneaked out and made up dad's tent in the backyard. I wanted to be alone. But Lincoln heard me and decided to bunk with me to cheer me up."

The girls, with the exception of Lori, Leni, Lisa and Lily, looked worried at Luna. The memory of what she'd done two nights prior was still fresh in their minds. Luan and Lynn, however, stared at Luna and Lincoln respectively, and with a simple exchange of looks they understood that there was more on that story than they could say in front of their younger siblings. Their faces relaxed a bit.

"But why did you let him in if you wanted to be alone?" Asked Lola.

Luna smiled and put an arm over his shoulders.

"He can be very convincing" she said in a whisper, closing her eyes and embracing him a little tighter.

Lincoln saw his older sisters staring at them with an impossible mixture of sadness and joy. Sympathy and resignation. And he also saw his younger sisters raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, Lynn, what gives with that apron?" He asked, in an obvious and poor attempt to change the subject.

"Oh" she said, and Lincoln saw her freckled cheeks gaining color. "Yeah, about that..."

"She decided to cook you a special breakfast" answered Lucy in her place, crossing her arms, like she was reproaching her something.

He couldn't remember ever seeing Lynn so flustered. She was staring at the floor and nervously playing with her fingers, not daring to look at him. The twins weren't particularly interested in that topic, so they sat at the kiddie table, where their breakfasts were already served. As soon as they sat, they started to fight once again. Lincoln didn't know what to say to his sister. He looked at the countertop and saw a plate with what seemed to be a couple of a little burned hotcakes.

"Are those for me?" Asked Lincoln, gently breaking away from Luna's hug and walking to the countertop.

"I… Yeah. Yes, they… they're for you" said Lynn, ashamed. "But I think I left them on the fire for too long and they ended up a little burned. You can give them to Charles if you want."

She pointed at the dog that was eating on his plate on the floor. The animal turned around his head for a second after hearing his name, but then he jumped right back at his food.

"I'm sure they'll be delicious" he assured her.

"That's, like, super cute, Lynn" said Leni, smiling the way only she could, spreading joy.

The compliments only served to embarrass Lynn even more, although behind her blush, there was a shy smile hidden.

"But, why did you decide to make him a breakfast?" Asked Lucy, still with her arms crossed over her chest. "You've never cooked before."

Lincoln, who had grabbed the plate and a glass of milk with the intention of going to the kiddie table to sit down and start to eat, stopped. Lynn was staring at Lucy, and she didn't seem to be ashamed or shy anymore. She looked just like when someone insinuated that she wasn't that good at some sport, or when she was losing in Monopoly.

"There's always a first time, right?"

"And why did you only cooked for Lincoln? You didn't even make hotcakes for yourself."

"Well… That's because..."

"Yes?"

It was hard to tell since she was still wearing her kitchen gloves, but Lincoln was pretty sure that Lynn was clenching her fist. She looked like she was about to scream, but oddly enough, his older sister just sighed, and her face earned a playful look.

"Do you really think I'd test my cooking abilities on _my own food_?No way. That's why I have my little test dummy here, who will try them even if they give him a stomach ache later."

As she made fun of him, she closed her arm around his neck, trapping him in a classic wrestling grab. But that time, Lynn wasn't squeezing his neck trying to keep him from breathing. Slyly, to not raise suspicions, she was gently grabbing him closer, in some kind of tender hug.

"A minute ago you said he could give them to Charles just because they're a little burned" Lucy remarked, "but now you're implying that you don't really care whether Lincoln enjoys them or not. What's the truth, Lynn?"

Lincoln felt Lynn's arm muscles tensing around his neck.

"I'd love to have someone trying them so they can tell me the truth about how did I did it, and I know Lincoln's the only one who would agree to do it" she softly explained, sounding too calm for Lincoln's taste. "It's the first time I ever did this, so I'm a bit nervous, and I don't really want to make him eat something he doesn't want. Does my explanation satisfies your curiosity, Luce?"

"But why—?"

"That's enough, Lucy" said Lori, finally intervening, putting a hand on Lucy's shoulder. "Does it bother you that Lynn cooked Lincoln's breakfast?"

"No, but—"

"Does it affect you somehow?"

"No..."

"Then let them be, Lucy" she said with a smile.

The little goth let out a big sigh, grabbed her breakfast and went straight to the kiddie table, sitting along Lisa, Lily and the twins. Lincoln also was about to follow her, but Leni stopped him.

"Hey, Linky… Would you like to go with us to the other table?" She asked with a smile.

The rest of his older sisters were staring at him expectantly, holding their breaths as they waited for his answer. Leni, however, was looking at him very calmly, with a smile that was just too sincere. Leni was still a mystery for Lincoln. How much did she understand of what was going on? Was she conscious of what was actually going to happen? He thought he would need to ask Lori for her opinion on the subject, to know what was really going on with his second oldest sister. It was a mystery, but in the end, Lincoln couldn't really complain.

He took a look at the kiddie table. Lucy and Lisa where starting a food war between them. Lily was peacefully eating, making noise with her spoon. The twins were still arguing. It was clearly not the quietest environment.

"What do you say?" Leni insisted.

"I, uh… Yeah, why not?" He finally said, smiling at her.

Judging by their faces, one could've believed that Lincoln's older sisters had just found out Christmas was coming earlier this year. They walked with him to the grown up table in the living room with the most sincere smiles he remembered seeing in them in a long time. When he sat down, he noticed that Lynn immediately sat down right next to him, and Leni was occupying the seat on the other side of him. Luna and Luan sat together, still very close, and Lori chose to be right in front of Lincoln, on the other side of the table.

"You know, you really don't have to eat them if you don't want to" said Lynn, distrusting her own hotcakes.

"Are you kidding? They look delicious!" He said. He quickly cut a piece and tried his first mouthful of the day. They were a little crispy, yes, but they actually tasted better than he'd expected. "Lynn, these are really good!"

His sister's face warmed up.

"Really? You don't have to lie to me, you know..."

"No, seriously, these are great. Is this really the first time you cooked this?"

"I… Yes. Yeah, it's my first try" she answered, quickly blushing.

"Kudos, then. They are really good."

Lynn grabbed her cup of coffee and took it to her mouth. It wasn't easy to drink with a smile from ear to ear, but she managed to avoid spilling anything.

"Lincoln, you didn't brush your hair, did you?" Asked Leni, frowning at his hair.

"No, I didn't go to the bathroom yet" Lincoln answered.

"Don't worry, I got this" she said with a smile.

He thought she would take a comb out of her dress —he'd seen his sisters taking stranger things out of their clothes—, but Leni simply started to use his fingers to comb his hair. She started to accommodate his white locks without tugging or pulling and without causing him any pain. Lincoln actually found himself enjoying that sort of massage, those soft and tender caresses with which his sister was combing his hair.

"So, dad's tent?" Asked Luan, staring at Luna.

"Yeah. Although, you know" she said, lowering her voice to a whisper so she couldn't be heard from the kitchen, "it was all Lincoln's idea."

"I figured so" she added, smiling a little. "And… did you talk things out?"

"Yeah, we had a talk" Luna said, sadly looking at her cup of coffee. "I really needed one."

Luan put a hand over Luna's, gently stroking it.

"Lincoln knows how to give good talks" she simply said, and they both turned their heads to look at their brother.

They were giving him looks full of sadness and nostalgic, which made him feel a little uncomfortable. He tried to smile to relieve the tension, but he forgot he was eating his hotcakes, so when he parted his lips a bit of the mass fell from his mouth over his pajama. All his sisters started to laugh after seeing that. Lincoln thought that an embarrassing act was worth seeing all his sisters laughing, even if they were laughing at him.

"Well, I sure hope Lincoln's talk helped you unders _ **-tent**_ that we all love you, Luna" she said, laughing at the end. "Get it?"

Lincoln, Lynn and Lori let out some groans, but the smile on their faces showed that they were happy to hear their sister's puns once again. Luna did let out a small chuckle, looking fondly at his younger sister. And then she turned her head to look at Lori, this time looking at her with much regret.

"Lori… I'm sorry. Sorry for all those things I said. I was—"

"It's okay, Luna" Lori interrupted her. "I was wrong too."

"No, it was all my fault. I did… I made some terrible decisions" Luna said, getting ready to cry at any moment.

Lori made sure that none of their younger siblings were interested in what was going on in the dining room, stood up and got closer to Luna. She didn't waste a second in standing up too and throwing herself at her older sister's arms. They embraced each other, Lori gently stroking his little sister's back.

"Luna, it's okay, I forgive you" she told her. "Really. I was just worried sick."

"I promise I won't do that again."

"At least until you're eighteen" added Lori, breaking away from her sister. Luna laughed a little, and after wiping her eyes with the back of his hand, she sat once again next to Luan, while Lori got back to her seat and asked Lincoln about his hotcakes, earning a rough warning from Lynn to avoid making fun of her cooking abilities.

Lincoln felt extremely happy. All his older sisters were in the table with him, and they were all smiling. Luna and Luan were having a nice, joyful chat, holding hands the entire time. Lori was smiling as she teased Lynn, asking her if she was planning on joining the Middle School Cooking Team, and the sports girl aggressively snapped back that if she wanted, she could totally win the Cooking Super Bowl, that no gold was beyond her if she really tried. Meanwhile, Leni was still stroking Lincoln's hair, even though he was pretty sure that he didn't need to be combed anymore. She was still playing with locks of his hair, humming a random melody.

In his eleven years of life, he'd never payed much attention to breakfast. He was usually pretty drowsy in the mornings, and having breakfast was just another thing in the routine, like brushing his teeth, something he didn't stop to think about it. That morning, though, he dedicated a lot of time to just see his sisters having breakfast on the table. To see them laugh, to see them playfully teasing each other, to enjoy the contact between them. To enjoy the shared time.

As he finished his second hotcake, Lincoln wished he had learned to enjoy his breakfast along his sisters before.

The noise coming from the kitchen, where the kiddie table was, had been gradually increasing since the older siblings had walked to the dining room. It wasn't until they heard the sound of shattered glass that they were forced to intervene. They all stood up and went right into the kitchen. Lisa, Lucy and Lily were staring open mouthed at the twins, who were facing each other separated only by a few inches, screaming right into each other's faces. There was a broken glass of milk in the floor.

"You always ruin everything!"

"Everything always has to go the way you want it to!"

"Would it kill you to have some class?!"

"Is it so hard for you to share?!"

"I'm telling mom you broke a glass!"

"Well, I'll tell her YOU broke a glass!"

"Enough!" Yelled Lori, while Lynn and Luna separated the twins. "What happened?"

"I grabbed the milk carton first!" Said both girls at the same time, looking at each other with hatred and mistrust.

"Oh my God… Did you literally fight over who was getting a glass of milk first?"

"It's her fault!" They both yelled.

"Come on, you guys, you can't fight for everything" tenderly said Leni, crouching down.

She tried to make them look at each other, but Lana broke free from Luna's arms.

"That's it! I'm not having breakfast with her!"

Before even Lynn could react, which was quite a feat, Lana ran through her siblings legs, straight to the first floor. They were all stunned for a few seconds. Then, like it was usual, Lori reacted first.

"Lynn, Luna, come with me. Let's go talk with her. Leni, Luan, you stay here with Lola."

"Should we raise the threat level to Thunder Storm?" Asked Lisa, referring to the sister fight's protocol.

"Negative. This is not going protocol level, we'll end this before it gets there" said Lori, finally marching off with the two designated sisters to speak with Lana.

The tension on the air could be cut with a butter knife. Lola was sitting in her chair, arms folded, apparently having lost her appetite. Lucy and Lisa were having turns at looking at each other and staring at the young blonde, whom simply had her eyes fixed on her plate. Lincoln couldn't help but feel guilty. If he told his sisters that, they would all surely try to tell him that he shouldn't blame himself, that it wasn't his fault at all. But Lincoln was convinced that he had part of the guilt. Lana and Lola were always fighting, like you could expect from twins with such different personalities. However, those fights were always in a somewhat playful way. They'd never had so serious fights in such a short time. Lincoln was pretty sure that this sudden animosity between them wasn't casual. It was clear for him that it had started ever since Lincoln had been taken to the hospital, exactly one week ago. It wasn't the first time that the girls acted different because of a general grieving air in the house. In other occasions, like when their father had had a hernia operation, or when Lynn had broken one of her elbows, the twins responded to the general grief by having more and more fights. It was their way of relieving the tension. Evidently, they felt something was off in the house, but they were too young and innocent to realize what.

Feeling responsible for what was happening, Lincoln was determined to fix things between his younger sisters. Leni was kneeling besides Lola, trying to talk some sense into her, but the younger one didn't want to listen to her. Luan had brought a mop and was cleaning the mess on the floor. Dodging her, Lincoln went next to Lola.

"Hey" he called her, kneeling on the floor to be eye level with her.

Lola was still crossing her arms, not looking at him.

"Lola, look at me" he softly asked her.

She was extremely authoritarian. She wasn't just as pretty as a princess, she also lived like she would have to take the kingdom's throne one day, constantly practicing her air of superiority and bossy attitude. She didn't like receiving orders from anyone, and let only a few members of the family to give them orders. She obeyed her parents because she had to, and because deep down she knew they only wanted the best for her. She obeyed Lori because she respected her leadership.

And finally, she obeyed Lincoln because she loved him, and because she _trusted_ him. He was more than just her big brother, he was someone she actually looked up to. She would never admit it out loud, but even though he had the gross habit of reading comics in his underwear around the house, Lola really admired him in more than one way.

Thus, when he asked ever so gently to look at him, she did.

"You're on her side, aren't you?" She asked, putting and frowning at the same time.

"What?"

"You think It's all my fault, and you're with Lana, don't you?" She repeated.

Lincoln was confused.

"Lola, what are you talking about?" He asked, not believing what he was hearing.

"What you heard! Two days ago you went to plant trees with Lana and you left me alone! And now that we're fighting again you come here to nag me and tell me it was all my fault! Because you love her more!"

Lincoln's brain finally understood what was going on: his little sister was jealous.

"Lola, you know that's not true" intervened Luan.

"Lincoln doesn't love Lana more than you, he doesn't have a favorite sister" added Leni with a smile, although it hesitated for a second as she looked back at Lincoln. "Right?"

He couldn't help but smile.

"Of course I don't. You're all special to me, and I love you all the same. You, for example" he said, poking her nose with his index finger, "you are my special little princess. And you'll always be, Lola. Always."

The tough expression on the girl softened after those words. She was having problems looking Lincoln in the eye, and she suddenly seemed to be interested in the kitchen's floor.

"Now, what do you say if we go so you can apologize with Lana, alright?" Lincoln suggested.

"But it wasn't _entirely_ my fault" she replied, lacking conviction.

"I'm not saying it was. I'm not blaming you, I'm pretty sure you were both equally responsible. You just apologize for your part, and I'll make sure she apologizes for hers. I'll go with you. Do you agree?"

He offered her his hand. She looked at it, then at his eyes, and then at his hand again. Her lips insinuated the smallest smile, but Lincoln detected it right away. She put her hand over his, let him grab it, and allowed Lincoln to help her standing up. Not being able to resist the impulse, she hugged Lincoln's leg, as he gently stroked her hair. Lucy and Lisa were watching the scene with interest, Lily was just drooling on her food, and Luan and Leni wanted to smile and cry at the same time.

Lincoln and Lola, holding hands, walked straight to the twin's bedroom, but they stopped in the dining room when they saw Lori coming down from the stairs, with Lana by her hand. Luna and Lynn appeared behind them. The oldest and the only boy in the family exchanged a smile. Seeing their twin getting closer, they both hid behind their older sibling's legs. But when they were just four feet away from each other, there was no point in trying to hide themselves.

"I think you both have something to say" Lori said.

Lana looked at Lori, and Lola looked at Lincoln. He nodded and tightened his grip on her hand. The twins sighed and, staring at the floor, they said at the same time:

"I'm sorry."

They didn't seem to be really sorry, actually, but they were at least trying to make things up between them, and the other nine siblings smiled at the scene.

"Oh, great, you're all here!"

Mr Lynn walked from the living room to the dining. He was smiling from ear to ear, and they all noticed that he wasn't wearing his usual green sweater and brown pants. Instead, he was wearing some shorts that showed his hairy legs and an aquamarine short sleeve shirt. It was a nice morning, no doubts about that, but it was weird to see him dressed like that.

"How are ya kids, had breakfast yet?" He asked in a really good mood.

His eleven children remained silence.

"I'll take that as a yes. Well, Lincoln, you better go to your room and dress up."

"Why?"

"We're going to the Museum of Natural Sciences. You like coins, don't you? I read there's an exposition of old drachmas and obols, from the Ancient Greek. It'll be fun!"

Collecting coins was a wonderful hobby. The story of coins was a story as interesting as any Ace Savvy issue. Everytime Lincoln shared his passion for coins, people would stare at him, judging him without knowing. He hadn't cared, he enjoyed doing what he loved. Any other time, he would've been delighted to be able to go with his father to a museum and see coins over twenty five hundred years old.

But, was it worth it to lose an afternoon with his sisters? Just to see some stupid coins? What good did it have to appreciate the texture, size and inscriptions on a metal from millennia ago? His bucket list had nothing related to his coin collection, and it was actually cramped with a lot of unmarked boxes about things related to his sisters, family and friends. His priorities had suddenly changed. Now, he would give all his hobbies away for just one more breakfast with his family.

"Dad, I don't know if it's a good id—"

"Son, go change your clothes, will you?"

His father's smile didn't hesitate at all, but Lincoln felt the change of tone. It was clear that there was no other option.

"I… Okay."

Defeated, he climbed the stairs all the way to his room. With his mind somewhere else, he bumped his face against the door when he tried to open it and it didn't move. Annoyed, he looked inside his pocket and grabbed the key.

He still wasn't used to having a key.

Once inside, the first thing he did was cross the Saturday off. And with that, the first of the two weeks he had left had already ended. He started to shiver when he saw how many days there were left. One week. Seven days. Only seven days.

He didn't want to think about that. He took his pajama off and dressed up as fast as he could. He wanted to get away from there, to go and get distracted with his dad. He practically ran away from his room, closing the door with a bang as he dashed downstairs. The entry door was opened, and he heard the sound of one of Vanzilla's door being closed. As he walked to the door, he looked at both sides of the hall. At his left, Lori and Leni were still finishing their breakfast at the table. His younger sisters seemed to be in the kitchen, eating too. At his right, Luna, Luan and Lynn were sitting on the couch, with the TV turned on, although none of them looked specially interested in what was going on.

Closing the entry door behind him, Lincoln felt a little bummed out about his sister's sudden change of mood.

He got in the van on the passenger seat, put on his seat belt, and waited for his father to turn on the engine.

"Are we really going to the museum?" He asked him. He didn't doubt his father would thought that would cheer him up, but it was really hard to imagine him deciding that was the perfect way to spend what could be his last Sunday.

"Of course not" answered Mr Lynn, finally turning on the van. "I said that so none of the girls would like to come with us."

"Uh?" Said Lincoln, completely surprised. "Where are we going, then?"

Vanzilla left the driveway and headed down the street, away from the museum.

"We're going fishing, son."

* * *

The fifty minutes drive to Silver Lake, the most famous lake in Royal Woods, passed incredibly fast for Lincoln. At first, neither he nor his father spoke a lot, with the latter asking him trivial questions about breakfast, traffic, and even reaching the awkward point of talking about weather. Lincoln answered the best he could, but he was having trouble feeling comfortable.

It wasn't easy to talk when they both knew there was a more important and evident conversation that neither one wanted to start.

Luckily, his father changed the radio station and there was a song singing, one they both immediately recognized, although their opinions about it where polar opposites.

"Oh, Dear God, what have they done?" Indignantly complained Lynn Sr. "How dare they profane this way _Life is a Highway_ , Tom Cochrane's best song? This song had a soul, you know, how dare they turn it into some pop record just like that!"

"I like this song" said Lincoln with a smile. "It's on _Cars_ , when Lightning McQueen is with his truck buddy in the road and they're driving the interstate highway."

"Of course you like it, it's a great song, but if you knew the original, then you'd prefer it."

"Even so, this one's really good" he said, turning up the volume. "A couple of years ago Luna found me listening to it in my room, and when I told her I really liked it, she learned it in like half an hour on her guitar. We went to the garage and spend the whole afternoon singing it."

His father smiled at his son's enthusiasm, whom had started to move his head to the rhythm. Lynn had his own motives to always prefer Tom Cochrane, but deep down he had to give it to Lincoln: it was an awesome cover. Before any of the two could realize it, they were both singing the chorus out loud.

" _Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long! If you're going my way, I wanna drive it all night long!_ "

They both knew the lyrics, so they had fun taking turns to sing each verse. When the song ended, father and son were laughing out loud in the front seat of the van.

"Well, it wasn't that bad after all, huh?" Said Lincoln.

"I gotta admit, it was pretty good" conceded Lynn. "No one can top Tom Cochrane, though."

"Who's that guy, anyway?"

His father gave him a look of fake disgust.

"These kids nowadays… They don't know the legends… A great musician, that's it! For your information, your sister Lynn is named after him."

"What?" Asked Lincoln, staring at him without understanding, believing that it was maybe another one of his dumb jokes. "How could she be named after a guy named Tom?"

"He was born in Lynn Lake, a Canadian city" hearing no response from his son, Lynn Sr turned to look at him, finding a surprised and shocked face. "What? I'm serious! Why did you think she was named like that?"

"Oh, I don't know" said Lincoln, the sarcasm in his words painfully evident. "I had this crazy idea that she was named **after her own father**."

Lynn Sr let out a chuckle.

"Oh, Lincoln, do you think your mother would've let me named her like that if it wasn't because she was also a big fan of good ol' Tom? It wasn't that hard to make her mind, specially since… Oh, wait, this is another great song!"

The station put a classic eighties song that Mr Loud had danced in his younger years and that Lincoln knew thanks to Luna. They started to sing once again. And then they sang the next song. And then the next one.

* * *

Michigan is known as the Great Lakes State. It limits with four of North America's five great lakes, which makes him one of the most beautiful states in the US, a wonderful place to visit and appreciate the nature. Lincoln, in theory, knew these things. They'd taught him that in school, he'd heard it from his parents and he'd seen images in internet and movies. He knew that he lived in a state with nature wonders, like Gran Venture Cannon. But it wasn't until he stood in the bank of the Silver Lake that he was fully conscious of that fact.

His father had driven by the highway until he reached a small, signless road that led inside a forest. He drove for a few more minutes, until the trees were opening up and they finally reached the lake. It was enormous. Standing near the bank, Lincoln calculated there had to be at least two hundred and fifty yards to the other shore. Not only could he see the beautiful image of the water reflecting all the trees surrounding it and the blue sky, he could also appreciate the silhouette of the mountains standing proud in the horizon.

Lincoln just stood there contemplating the view. Had he known something so beautiful like what he was seeing existed so close to his house, he would have made an objective for his bucket list to visit it. The lake was so beautiful, so mirrored… He couldn't resist the temptation. He grabbed the the flattest stone he found and threw it with all his strength. It skipped five times on the water's surface before it finally sank. Lincoln closed his fist in the air, satisfied with his throwing skills. Lynn would've been completely jealous.

"Lincoln! Are you trying to scare all the fishes away? Get here and help me unload the van!"

Lincoln did as his father told him. In the backseat, covered by a blanket so the girls wouldn't accidentally spot it, Lincoln found all the fishing stuff he'd seen in the garage the previous afternoon. His father grabbed the fishing rods, a bag with some clothes and a cooler filled with baits and their lunches. Lincoln, meanwhile, took the two folding chairs that were there, and with some difficulty, carried them near the bank.

"Actually, Lincoln" his father suggested, putting things in the ground, "why don't you put the chairs in the water? There's nothing like fishing with the feeling of the lake on your ankles."

Smiling at the idea, Lincoln took out his shoes, his socks, folded up his jeans and did as he was told. The water was cold, but it felt nice to step on the wet clay. His father handed him a hat to protect his face from the sun, and a fishing vest just for the sake of aesthetics. Then they both grabbed a fishing rod, and only a few minutes after getting to the lake, father and son were casting their lines as far as they could.

"So, now what?" Asked Lincoln with a smile.

"Now, we wait."

Lincoln nodded. He knew there wasn't much to do now that the bait was on the lake. Fishing was the sport of patience.

"Hey, dad?"

"Yes?"

"Was is true that thing you said about Lynn? Did you really named her like that because it was the city where that singer was born?"

"Absolutely" answered Lynn Sr, as he made a little movement with his rod to adjust the line tension. "I mean, obviously there was also the fact that she would be named after me. But, you see, he's not just a favorite singer of your mother and me, it was also his music that was playing when..."

Lynn cleared his throat and wasted some time needlessly adjusting some bait ornaments on his hat.

"Well, let's just say that he was very involved in Lynn Jr's… conception."

"Dad!" Complained as he laughed, moving his foot to sprinkle his father. "TMI!"

"Well, you asked me!"

They started to laugh. A real fisherman would've been indignant with all the noise they were making, but neither Loud was actually worried about it.

"And how did you all choose out names? I mean, why do all our names start with 'L'?" Lincoln asked, curiously.

Why they all had the same initials was a mystery between the Loud children, and they'd never dared to asked their parents about it.

"That's a really good question, son. It's in your right not to believe me, but the truth is, it's not something we did on purpose. We had our own reasons to name you all the way we did. Some of those reasons may have more sense than others, some are more important, but we always had a motive to name you like we did."

"And what were they?"

"Alright, let's start from the beginning. Lori is the name of an old friend of mine, who gave me the twelfth best gift I've received in my whole life."

"The twelfth?" Asked Lincoln, raising an eyebrow.

"She introduced me to your mother" he simply answered. "She moved away to another state some years after introducing us, and eventually we stopped being in touch with her. But, well… Your mother and I were together for about three and a half years, and then we had a fight. A very serious fight."

Lincoln's smile left his face.

"You and mom had a fight?" He asked.

"Yes. It was nonsense, really, I can't even remember what we fought about in the first place. But we were young and susceptible and… And I decided to break up with her" he sadly said, his eyes lost in the reflection of the mountains on the surface of the lake.

Lincoln gasped.

"You broke up with her? But… How…? How did you two made up?"

"Lori."

"She came back from the other state?"

"No, no… Lori, your sister" he explained. "Your mother was pregnant. When she found out, she didn't want to tell me at first. But we finally met up for a talk and she told me. And… Well, we weren't in the best terms, you know? But it was our child, it wasn't just about us anymore. We had to think what was best for our child. So we put aside our differences and we tried to form a family once again. By the time our daughter was born, Rita and I were back in love. And we realized that we were back together thanks to the baby. She had brought us together again, and we decided to name her after the old friend who'd presented us in the first place, so we could all remember that it was thanks to her that we were happy together."

"Wow" said Lincoln, raising his eyebrows and letting out a small whistle. "I don't… I'd never had guessed that you had been that close of breaking up."

"But destiny wanted us to make a family" he said, calming him down. "And boy, did we comply."

The boy with the orange polo chuckled.

"What about the rest? Why 'Leni'?"

"Oh, that's one story we don't like to tell" he answered, shaking his head. "See, Lincoln, she had… troubles during pregnancy."

"Troubles?"

"Leni was born a month ahead of schedule. It wasn't really that bad, the hospital was very well prepared. But we were still new parents, Lori was born less than a year prior, and to see out little girl in an incubator… It wasn't easy. We were really scared. And then, during out second night in the hospital after the birth, a nurse came to see us. She looked like a prison cook, Lincoln, I swear. Her arms were bigger than my legs. At first I thought she was going to hit me. But she didn't. She sat with us for hours, letting us know that it was all going to be okay, soothing Rita, she even cradled little Lori to sleep. We were really scared, and that wonderful nurse helped us."

He made a small pause, during which his smile came back, and he turned around to see Lincoln.

"Can you guess how was that beautiful lady called?"

"Leni" said Lincoln, suddenly understanding.

His dad nodded, and they both smiled in silence for a few seconds.

"The rest of the names don't have such sad stories" he assured him. "When your mother was pregnant of our third daughter, there was a night where we went for a walk in the park, taking Lori and Leni in their double carriage. We were just thinking how to call this new girl, when we stopped to stare at the sky. The stars were sparkling that night, and there was a full moon. It was beautiful, the most amazing view we'd had in a long time. Then we started to think about a name that could be as pretty as that image. We thought about Star, Pearl, but in the end we decided to call her Luna, which means 'moon' in spanish."

"What about Luan?" Asked Lincoln, fascinated for being able to discover such interesting information about his family's past. "Why did you choose that name?"

"Now that's a funny story" said Lynn Sr, giggling a little. "Which is ironic. So, when your mom was going through our fourth daughter, Lori was about to turn three years old. We were trying to teach her how to pronounce all the family names, but there was no way we could make her say 'Luna' properly. She kept saying 'Luan' for some reason. Don't ask me why, she just did. And then..."

He had to stop for a few seconds so he could laugh.

"Ok, so hear this: I thought it'd be HILARIOUS if we called our new baby Luan, just to confuse little Lori a bit more. And boy, not only Lori: all of you had always had trouble learning to distinguish between Luna and Luan."

Lincoln shook his head, smiling from ear to ear.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm serious, son."

"And mom agreed to this?"

"Turns out she also has a sense of humor after all."

"Alright… Let's just say that, for now, I believe you" said Lincoln, with a smile and a tone that hinted that he wasn't really buying that story. "You already told me why you chose Lynn's name. And then..."

"Of course you were waiting for this moment. Well, as you know, after Lynn Jr's birth, it was a while before we decided to have you."

"You said that like it was a big deal, but I think it's normal for any family to—"

"The thing is" his father interrupted him, "that we decided to have another baby. And when the doctor told us it was a boy… Look, the truth is I had actually lost any hope of ever having a boy in the family by now. I'm not complaining! I love all my little girls, you guys are the best eleven gifts life has given me. And you will always be. But when I knew I'd be having a boy, I decided I couldn't name him lightly. I always knew you were going to be an extraordinary kid, I knew it right from the start. That's why I decided that you would be called after the best man this wonderful country has given to humanity, after the United States greatest president."

"Oh. So I am named after Abraham Lincoln after all" he said, slightly disappointed.

His friends had always had that theory about his name. And it's not like he was bother by it. But after such interesting stories around the election of his sister's names, Lincoln was expecting something a bit more… interesting.

"Lincoln… I'm really sorry if you don't like your name" said his father, downhearted. "These are risk every parent must take. We never know if our kids will like the names we impose on them. But you need to know that I named you that way because ever since I saw you on our first ultrasound, I knew you were destined to big things. Maybe… Maybe you won't be president, and maybe you won't change the whole world. But… But you've changed our family forever."

Lynn stopped his explanation saying something had taken the bait. He stood up and started to move his fishing rod, but Lincoln knew that no fish had been even close to touch the bait. He didn't complain, though, since the pause also help him to keep his emotions under control.

"Dang it, I think it escaped" said Lynn, lacking conviction, as he cast his line again.

"So… what about the other names?"

Skipping any discussion about Lincoln, his dad told him the origin of the younger siblings. He told him that Lucy was named after the famous song that put her in the sky with some diamonds around her, a song that was playing on the radio on a night during Rita's seventh pregnancy, and that Luna had taught to the rest of her siblings, so the whole family could sing it along. Mr Loud also told him that Lola had been the nickname with which everyone knew Lincoln's paternal grandmother, and that Lana had been his maternal grandmother, Pop-Pop's wife. Lisa had been named after one of Rita's old friends, who had helped her getting into college. And finally, Lily was named after Harry Potter's mom.

"Since when do you like Harry Potter?" Asked Lincoln between chuckles, not believing what he'd just heard.

"Son, you were just a baby, so you don't remember this, but I spent twenty hours in a line dressed as Sirius Black to get my signed copy of _The Deathly Hallows_ on its release day. I was really into naming our eleventh kid Emma, after the actress, but… Well, remember when I told you that we hadn't chose all your names starting with L on purpose? Well, I think we ended up choosing Lily because it certainly fitted with the rest of you."

"Wow. It's… It's amazing. I can't believe I didn't know anything about this."

"None of you ever came to ask about it" simply said Mr Loud. "I'm not judging you. It's just that we all live so rushed nowadays, we have so many things to do that we just don't stop to… simply talk, you know? I mean, what was the last time we had a true father and son bonding moment, eh?"

"I think that… Yeah, when you taught me to prepare your special linguine."

"Oh, you mean my _Lynn-guine_ " he said, laughing the same way Luan did after one of her puns.

Lincoln, in response, let out a frustrated groan just like he always did with Luan.

"Son..." His father started, with his faze lost in the horizon. "I know I'm your father, and that my job is to take care of you, teach you all I know and make sure you don't set the house on fire. But, just for today, do you think we could be just friends?"

"What do you mean?" Asked Lincoln, a bit distracted by a flock of birds that started to fly away from the tree tops on the other side of the lake.

"I mean that… I want to know you, son."

Lincoln completely forgot about the birds, and focused his attention on his father.

"Dad..."

"I just want to know more about you. What's your favorite color? What's your favorite band? Was there any sport you would've liked to practice and you didn't tell us, or you tell us and we didn't let you? What's the deal with that Ace Savvy you like so much? I want… I just want to know you better. I want to know more about my little champ" he resignedly said.

Lincoln thought about the talk he had had with his sister Lynn just two days ago. She was one of the siblings he spend the most time with, and yet there were a lot of things he didn't know about her. Living under the same roof made them family, made them close, but that wasn't enough to really know someone.

"Orange" said Lincoln, as he slowly moved his bare feet on the water.

His father stared at him.

"My favorite color is orange" he explained him. "I think it's always been like that. And SMOOCH is my favorite band, Luna was always showing me their songs, and I think they are the best band ever.

"Tell me more" asked Lynn, so focused on his son that he didn't realized that there was something in the lake pulling his bait.

His father asked him to tell him more, and Lincoln complied. He told him about all his likes and hobbies. About how Bobby had made him love Monster Trucks rallies. He told him about his favorite novels. He also took a whole hour to explain his father the main arcs from Ace Savvy, including Crisis on Infinite Decks, the Card of Owls and his historic clash against Captain Yahtzee, the most powerful superhero from Casino Comics. After that, his father decided that it was probably a good moment to have some lunch, so they left their rods aside and grabbed some sandwiches from the cooler.

While they ate, his dad asked him if there was any girl he liked. A little flustered, Lincoln told him about how much he'd like Christina at first, and then he told him that right now, all his interested in the opposite genre was centered in Ronnie Anne. He told his dad how their relationship had evolved, from their first and failed kiss, to their double date in Jean Juan's. He took his time to explain in detail all the things he felt when he was with her, about that sensation of feeling like he could be his true self without being judged.

"Wow, son. I would've never guessed you could have such deep thoughts at such a young age" said his father, fully impressed. "When I was your age I wasn't interested in girls yet, I still thought of them as weird things of nature."

"It's not something I usually talk about" Lincoln admitted. "I haven't even told Clyde this things yet. I never thought I'd be discussing this with my dad."

"I get it. I didn't talk much about my life with your grandpa. My father was… Well, he had been raised in a different time. Things were different back then. He was a very strict man, with very clear values. He was dedicated to his work, and family usually came after that."

"He didn't love you?" Asked a worried Lincoln.

"Of course he did. My father loved me. It's just that he wasn't very fond of showing it, you know? He never liked my jokes, or that I loved dancing so much. He wasn't the kind of father that read me stories to fall asleep at night, or went to see me at my school plays."

"That's… That's not right" said Lincoln, frowning. "Dads are supposed to be there with their kids. They need to show them their love. Just like you and mom do with us."

"Lincoln, I don't want you to have a bad image of your grandfather. He woke up everyday at six in the morning and got back home at eight in the evening. He had to drop school when he was only ten so he could go to the factory to work with his father, my grandpa. He worked his entire life to make sure that we would have food in our plates everyday, and so I could finish my studies and not repeat his steps."

Lynn closed his eyes and let out a shy smile, reminiscing about prior times.

"When I finished high school, he asked for a day off at work so he could attend my graduation. He hadn't told me he would, he simply appeared there. I'd never been so happy in my life, and neither had him. That was the same day that he gave me my first car. He told me I'd earned it. And when your mother and I moved together, out house was unfinished, it needed a lot of work to be done. Your grandfather spent his life savings so we could buy everything we needed to finish it."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's a pity he died so soon. Luan wasn't even born yet. I know that he would have loved to meet the rest of you. And he would've loved to be here with us right now. He always brought me here for fishing. I loved spending those afternoons with him..."

Lincoln felt a void in his chest. He'd never been this close, this personal with his father, and there were so many things we would have liked to ask him. So many things he wanted to know. But… primarily, there was a question he didn't dare ask. He didn't want to ruin the moment, he didn't want that nice talk to turn in an awkward or sad moment. Still, Lincoln wanted so much to ask him if, so many years after his father's death, after losing a loved one… if he still found himself thinking about him. If he still missed him. He wanted to know if someone could ever completely move on over such a loss.

He wanted to ask him that, but he couldn't gather enough courage.

"You really loved him, then?" He asked instead.

"Of course, Lincoln. He was always there when I needed him, he was the best father he could manage to be. And God knows I didn't make it any easier for him. I wasn't exactly an angel."

Those words reminded Lincoln of an item on his Objectives Lists.

"Dad?"

"Tell me."

"There's something I need to tell you..."

"What is it?"

"I… Well..." Lincoln took a deep breath, prepared himself, and finally said it. "I broke your disco ball. I was playing with my remote control plane and I couldn't dodge it and… and it blew into a million pieces. I… I should've told you. But I was afraid of being punished, and then Lola took the blame because she wanted to earn our trust, and I—"

"Son" he stopped him, "take it easy."

"No, dad, I lied. I didn't tell you the truth, and then I let you guys ground her for things she hadn't even done."

"Lincoln, it doesn't matter."

"But—"

"Do you really think I can be angry with you right now just because you broke a stupid award?"

"I… I guess not."

"Of course not. It doesn't matter anymore, son. I appreciate you telling me the truth, though."

Lincoln wasn't fully convinced about his father's words. He still felt bad.

"Speaking of breaking stuff" said Lynn Sr, "what happened today at breakfast?"

"Oh, yeah, that."

He summarized the best he could the morning incident. The twins fighting, the broken glass, what he had told Lola, how he and Lori had spoken with each twin to cool them off. His father listened every word, smiling after hearing what his son had said to Lola.

"Lincoln, I'm so proud of you. Your mother and me regret not having told you this sooner, but we really appreciate everything you do for your sisters. You always help us taking care of the younger ones, and you make sure your older sisters don't run out of control."

"You don't have to thank me" he said, shrugging it off. "They're my sisters. It's my job to love them and take care of them."

"Yes, but you do more than that. Son… I don't think you realize it, but even without you knowing it, you've taken a responsibility that doesn't belong to you. You're the middle child, you're the only boy in a family full of girls. You could've been an irresponsible, selfish kid trying to survive in this chaotic family, you could've let Lori, Leni or Luna try to keep everything under control. But instead, you chose to live trying to make everything easier for everyone else. And that… Lincoln, you're the son every father would wish to have. And I can't… I can't stop feeling lucky for having had the chance of being your father."

"D-Dad..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't want to cry neither, but I got to say it. You were born in a family different from the rest, in a big family, and… and I love you all so much, and I just want to give you the best. And sometimes I wonder… sometimes I wonder if I haven't failed in that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I couldn't give you the life you deserve!" He said, raising his voice and throwing his rod to the water, scaring away all the fishes in the lake. "After Lucy's birth, your mother had to find a new job, because my wage wasn't enough. And even so, we barely have enough money. The house is falling to pieces, the car is falling to pieces—"

"Dad!" Said Lincoln, stopping him, leaving his rod aside too and leaning on his chair to be closer to his father. "Don't say that. We're… We're not poor. You guys always buy the things we need."

"Those are always second-hand stuff, Lincoln. You… You sleep in a closet."

"I like my room."

"It's more than that. I… I'll spend the rest of my life regretting all the things I couldn't give you" he mourned, and the pain in his voice caused a chill to run down Lincoln's spine. "I couldn't take you traveling to another country. I couldn't take you to those expensive conventions you always liked. A year ago, you asked me to start going to a comic book drawing course, and I didn't have the money to sign you up. I told you 'no'. And now you won't be able to learn it..."

"I don't care" he said, and he was being completely honest. "Dad, I mean it, I don't care. I'm happy with what I have. Specially… Specially for having you guys with me."

There was no need to keep pretending to be strong anymore. His father stood up and lifted him up in his arms just like when Lincoln was a little boy. The white haired kid embraced his dad's neck with his arms, and they both let the minutes just pass in the bank of the wonderful and not so silent anymore Silver Lake. In just a few hours of shared time with his father, Lincoln had learned a lot of things from him. He'd learned about the story behind his sister's names, about critical moments in his parent's marriage, about his paternal grandfather. And also, unfortunately, he had the possibility to learn something else. He had the opportunity of seeing, feeling and listening to the pain of a grown up man losing the most important thing in his world, in his life.

Lincoln found out how does a man who lost his son sounds.

It wasn't like crying with his sisters. It was different than crying with Luan or Lynn. It was even different than crying with Luna, even though they both had cried their hearts out the night before. It was simply a different intensity, impossible to compare, impossible to ignore.

A lot of time passed until they both could control themselves, grab their rods again and sit on the chair. It took them even more time for one of them to break the silence.

"Lincoln, there's something you need to know."

"What is it?"

"Last Friday, after Lynn ran away from school… Your mother had to go to school to talk with the principal. And she had to tell him everything."

Lincoln let out a sigh that extended for more than five seconds. He had not wanted to think about it, but he'd assumed something like this might have happened.

"I understand."

"They would've expelled her" his dad explained, like he needed to justify what they'd done. "We talked with that kid's family and the principal and… They understood. When they realized what was going on, some classmates confirmed that this Ryan kid had said the wrong things at the wrong time. They only suspended Lynn for three weeks."

Lincoln nodded.

"They understood why you didn't go to school this past week. And we… we also told the principal that the rest of your sisters won't be attending school for a while neither."

"No one?"

"No. Your mother and I believe they deserve the chance of spending as much time as possible with their brother. The principal said not to worry, they will be able to reinsert themselves in school whenever they feel ready. Do you understand what this means?"

"I… I think so."

They said nothing else, while Lincoln started to think in how this changed everything.

"I'm sorry son, but it's about time you talk with your younger sisters. We can't… You can't keep waiting."

"I know. I know. I… I'll tell them tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Do you want us to help you?"

"Thanks, but no. I want to… tell them personally. It has to be me."

"Okay."

After ten more minutes of silence, Lynn Sr stood up.

"Want to go back home?"

"But we didn't catch any fish..."

"I know, that was a disaster. That's why I hate fishing" added Mr Loud in a low voice, while he grabbed his chair and carried out of water.

"You hate fishing? But, didn't you say you loved fishing with your dad?"

"Lincoln..."

As he started to put away the baits and hooks, Lynn smiled at his son.

"...when you take your son out for fishing, you don't really do it because you want to fish."

* * *

Vanzilla parked in the driveway at half past four in the afternoon. Lincoln and his father carried down all the fishing equipment and stored it where it belong. Lincoln received the pleasant surprise of seeing that most of Luna's instruments and amps were no longer in the garage, which meant that she had taken them back to her room. He wanted to think that their talk last night had helped her realize music was not the problem. If she understood that now, he could focus more on trying to ease the pain.

His hyperactive mind started to come up with different courses of action about how to proceed with each one of his sisters, and he was so distracted in his train of thoughts that before he realized it, his father and him had finished putting everything in place.

"Alright, son, I won't bother you any more today" said Mr Loud, closing the garage door.

"Dad, don't say that" replied Lincoln, hugging his father. "I really loved this little trip with you. Thank you."

"No, Lincoln" said Lynn Sr, kneeling so he could fully embrace his son. "Thank _you_. Now go and have fun doing whatever you want, okay?"

"Alright."

They broke away from the hug, and Lincoln started to walk to the house entry, when his father called him one more time.

"Oh, and Lincoln… Anything you need, anything you want to do, you just have to ask me. Anything that's in my power to do… take it for granted."

Lincoln just nodded and smiled.

"Thanks."

He went inside his house and was received by the classical Loud House chaotic noise. He heard a lot of movement upstairs, which was probably Lynn's doings. He also heard music, some drums, which could only be thanks to Luna. It seemed that things were slowly going back to normal. The question was how long would that little peace last. How longer could he keep it until the storm came down on them with all its wrath.

"Lincoln!"

Luan, who was sitting in the couch, quickly got up and walked closer. She hugged him, almost lifting him from the ground, but released him right away. She took half a step back and her right hand almost unconsciously went straight to her brother's left cheek, gently stroking it, like she was just trying to make sure that she could touch him, that he was still there.

"Is everything okay? Did you have fun at the museum?" She asked, and she wasn't trying to mess with him, she was asking with full honesty.

"I'm okay, Luan" he said, putting one hand over his sister's. "I had an awesome time."

"I'm glad to hear that."

He wanted to go to his room, at least sit down a bit so he could process the long talk he had just had with his father, but he could see Luan struggling to come up with some way to start a conversation, to have an excuse to talk with him. So he silently waited for her to break the ice.

"So, uh, I was thinking… about that little project we're working on" she said, almost in a whisper.

Lincoln knew what she was talking about. Luan was helping him prepare something that was one of the priorities on his bucket list, barely less important than those objectives that were directly focused on helping his sisters and make them feel better. It was, in a way, one of the most important things he was going to be able to do before he died, and it was all possible only thanks to Luan.

"Yeah, what about it?" He asked with interest.

"Well… I know you probably had a lot of things to do, but if you want, we could all keep making progresses today" she suggested, speaking in a kinda shy and embarrassed way.

"I **do** have a lot of things to do, yes, but I would love to advance a little more with that, Luan" he said, making her smile. "Just let me go to my room to check somethings I need for it, alright?"

"Yes, definitely! I'll get everything ready!"

Luan ran all the way upstairs and into her room. Lincoln slowly climbed up each step. He stopped in front of his door, and he remembered the bump he had given to himself that same morning just because he hadn't unlocked the door. Smiling, he moved his hand to his pants, looking for the…

His smile faded away in an instant. He checked his other pocket, finding nothing but air and dust, and then he started to think.

That morning… His dad had send him upstairs to change his clothes… He'd hit his head… He'd quickly dressed up, and then…

"Oh, no..."

He put a shaky hand on the doorknob and turned it. To his utter horror, it was unlocked.

Any kind of dread he was feeling, however, was multiplied by ten when he opened up his door more and saw, standing in front of his calendar and with his objective list in her hands, his little sister Lucy.

* * *

 _ **.**_

 _ **Hello darkness, my old friend.**_

 _This chapter was a very needed break. I don't say it didn't have any sentimental or deep part (the most important about Lincoln/Lynn Sr 's talk was that which was not said), but it certainly wasn't the same as other previous chapters. For the second half, I wanted to try something different, a scene driven completely by dialogues. No external factors, no alien elements. Just two characters, their ideas, their feelings, their hearts. The things they said and the things they didn't dare speak out loud._

 _But anyway, this story needs to start its way to the end. There's a lot come yet, don't worry, but Lincoln is running out of time, and he needs to start closing wounds, to try to fix everything. Some may not like the pacing, but I find it truly poetic. I don't want to elaborate on that, though._

 _The thing is: Lucy knows. She knows, goddammit. And if you have some humanity in you, then you're afraid for her as much as I am._

 _I'll see you sometime soon, I hope._


	17. The junkyard

_These past three weeks I've been extremely busy and a little unmotivated. Just a little, though. I want to thank you all for your constant support, for your over 60 reviews in last chapter (I still can't believe that) and for helping this story reach 700 reviews. I hope you find this chapter enjoyable._

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 17: The junkyard**

 **.**

Deep withing the attic's darkness, where the light couldn't reach her and the sound of the lower floors was somewhat muffled, Lucy felt like she was in her natural habitat. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of the wings and squeals of her small bat colony, which she was feeding. She didn't really have to, for her bats were experts moth hunters, but they were the closest thing she had to a vampire, and was desperately needing to talk with someone like Edwin, her platonic love.

Edwin had lived for over four hundred years, with different identities across the generations, looking for a woman whom he could give the gift of immortality to and marry. He was a creature of darkness, with evil instincts, but his latent humanity —or at least what was left of it— had made him look for a place between the higher classes of humans. He spent his days reading and learning, and his nights hunting, relating with the right people to increase his influences. He was a beast, yes, but he was also the most cultured and intelligent creature that had ever lived in Transylvania. He would probably have the right answers to all of Lucy's questions.

In any other situation, she would've immediately looked for Lincoln's help. Her older brother was always there for her. Lincoln, even though he liked going ghost hunting, was actually an easily scared boy. Lucy knew that he didn't like being among bats, talking about darkness or the dark rituals that linked her with the Beyond. And yet, when no one else wanted to play with her, when she had no one to talk to, he was the first one volunteering to be with her so she wouldn't be alone. She wanted to go with him, to talk it out with him, but that was not an option. Her issue was directly and intimately related to him.

Whenever Lincoln wasn't an option, either because he wasn't available or because she was mad at him —which happened pretty often, given Lincoln's tendency of messing up and earning everyone's hate—, Lucy would always turn to her closest sister, Lynn. They weren't the closest in age, but they were roommates, and after so many years, they had developed a strong relationship. Lynn was the least feminine girl in the house. She was rough, rude, had a bad temperament and no respect whatsoever for general house rules. She did everything her way, and if that bothered someone, then it was their problem. But at the same time, she was determined to take care of all her siblings, specially the younger ones. With Lucy, for example, she didn't pass on the opportunity to make fun of the dark aura, but may God had mercy on the soul of the fool who would dare to mess her little sister in front of her.

Lynn was not the sharpest tool in the shed, nor she wasn't particularly good at giving her the best advice or have the deepest talks. But whenever Lucy really needed her to hear her out, even though she might not be able to give her a great answer, she would be there for her, and she'd at least try. It was nice to know that Lucy could count on her.

Thus, it was more painful to not have her neither.

For the last week, Lynn had been acting really strange. She was behaving with too much violence, even by her standards. On Tuesday's noon, when Lucy came back home with the rest of her sisters and found out that Lincoln had been discharged from the hospital, Lynn had been about to punch her, just because she had accidentally scared Lincoln when she greeted him from behind like she always did. She understood that Lynn might have been nervous and worried about Lincoln, like they all were, but still…

Then, the incident at her school. Their parents had told them all that they were not allowed to talk about the incident with Lynn, to ask her what had happened or even mentioning the subject. They didn't want to give them any details, they just told them that it had been something very personal and that they shouldn't bring up the subject. Lucy was deeply worried about her older sister. Even though her temperament was… special, so to speak, she had always had enough self control to keep herself from hurting anyone, ever. The rumors that had spread all the way to elementary school were about a no holds barred Lynn.

That same afternoon, Lynn had blamed her on having lost her autographed baseball. Lucy had never touched it, and she was pretty sure that Lynn knew that. Even so, she had screamed at her that until she got it back, she wasn't going to be staying on the same room with her. That she would be bunking with Lincoln.

That was the same night where Luna had her… incident with Lori. Lincoln slept with her the next night too.

Just a few hours ago, Lynn had woken up before anyone else to cook Lincoln a special breakfast. Lynn. Cooking.

Lucy knew that there was something going on. She knew it. She had known it since she had heard her father's voice on the vents. She knew that there was something wrong, and that it was related to Lincoln. She needed someone to talk to, and it didn't look like she was going to find someone on her family to do so. That's why, on that Sunday afternoon, Lucy told her mom that she would be meeting one of her friends.

The only one that would listen to her.

* * *

The poetry club had scheduled meetings every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on a midtown cafe. It was a place with brick walls, hardwood floors and ceiling and a place with some couches and a small library that became the poetry corner. It was a social agreement that Sunday was the day assigned for goths. It was not like they wouldn't allow regular human beings to share their own poetry, but it wasn't exactly common for someone to decide to read a poem about flowers and love in front of an audience conformed mostly by monochromatic teenagers.

This was one of Lucy's favorite poetry groups. It wasn't as pessimistic as the Saturday group, unfortunately, but that group had lost some respect for Lucy since that day when she had had to assist dressed as Lola as a punishment for deceiving Pop Pop. Besides, two of her best friends in this existential plane used to be there. Right now, Maggie was on a trip to Paris –where she was hoping to meet a mime, for some reason–, but Lucy had sent a message to Haiku, and they'd agreed on meeting there.

Indeed, her friend was already waiting for her, sitting on one of the farthest couches. Lucy really liked Haiku. She was a great friend, she knew so much about poetry and she'd helped her contact the Beyond more than once. Not to mention the fact that she had agreed without a doubt in helping her when she needed to find a date for Lincoln's Sadie Hawkings dance. She was a great adviser and an even better friend.

Just what she needed.

"Haiku" she greeted her, sitting at some prudential two feet from her. It was important to respect personal space.

"Good afternoon, Lucy" she answered, without looking up from a notepad where she was writing what seemed to be a new poem with her bat shaped pen. "You look particularly cheerless today."

"Thanks."

"I must say that your message took me by surprise. It wasn't on my plans to attend the poetry club today. Too much sunlight."

"I'm sorry" Lucy apologized.

"Don't worry. It's been long since I've come to accept that any effort to make plans in this chaotic world is nothing but a futile waste of time and energy. We don't have any more control over our circumstances than the fish that just swims along with the flow."

"Some fishes swim counter current."

Haiku stopped moving her pen and looked up at the ceiling, thinking. For several seconds she remained in silence, reflecting on what her little friend had just said.

"True" she said, looking down and pointing at Lucy with her pen. "Anyway, even though I had not planned on meeting you here today, talking with you is a most enriching experience. In just a minute you've made me ponder about the role of humans in a world that is always trying to impose us a way of thinking and a determined behavior."

Lucy didn't find it strange to hear her talking like that. Poetry and literature helped people to open her minds, to see the world from another perspective, it helped them think. Haiku, who spent most of her time locked inside her room reading, was always rambling and reaching crazy conclusions from the most mundane conversation.

"You said there was something you needed to discuss" said Haiku, finally closing her notepad.

Lucy sighed, and her friend smiled; sighs were music to her ears.

"There something that's worrying me" she said, putting her hands on top of her knees and fidgeting with her feet. "I've tried to discuss this with Edwin, but I feel that… that I may need a human opinion. Someone on this plane of existence.

"I understand. The Beyond is wise, but sometimes it lacks the tact or clarity a human being can offer you."

"Exactly."

"What's bothering you, then?"

Lucy took a couple of minutes to carefully think her words. A normal person would've gotten impatient with her silence, but Haiku simply waited for her to be ready, without complaining or rushing her.

"There's something going on in my family" she finally said, not having found a better way to enunciate her problem.

Haiku slightly arched her eyebrows, almost imperceptibly. That was her whole reaction.

"Something that's disturbing you" said the eleven years old goth girl.

"Yes."

"Judging by the impact it seems to have on you, I assume it's an unexpected change, something you weren't ready for and that's making you feel uncomfortable."

Lucy sighed again.

"I don't understand" she complained. "I know that what happens in the physical world shouldn't affect me, that there's no point in being worried for what happens during our short stay in this finite existence plane. And yet, the situation is making me feel emotions I thought I had abnegated when I assumed my identity as a speck of dust in the cosmos."

"Even in our insignificance in the vastness of Infinity, every person is a universe on its own" Haiku told her, with the slightest hint of compassion and easiness in her monotonous voice. "We, those who had accepted our reduced role in the big scheme, are not extent of suffering the same problems that afflict the rest of the people. We're not weak for giving in on our emotions every once in a while."

"I know… I… I know" she repeated. "But I'm just not used to this. Haiku… I'm scared."

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood" quoted Haiku.

"It's about Lincoln" Lucy finally said.

Haiku turned her head to look at Lucy at a speed that seemed too strange in someone who took things with such calm.

"Your brother, Lincoln" she said, stating the obvious.

"Yes. He… He was in the hospital last week."

Briefly and without going into much details, Lucy explained her friend the incident on the park exactly seven days ago, when Lincoln had been taken to the hospital.

"But he's better now, isn't he?" Asked Haiku, and for a second, Lucy thought she'd heard some worry on her words.

"He was there just for two days. He's in the house now, and he seems to be fine."

Haiku's face seemed to be unalterable, but Lucy managed to detect a slight relief.

"What's the problem, then?"

"I think… I think he was close to dying" she griefly said.

She told Haiku about what she had heard from the vents, his grieving father. She also told her about the spiraling depression her older sisters seemed to have gotten into: Luan's silence, Lynn's violence, Luna's recklessness. How absent Lori seemed to be lately, like she suddenly wasn't interested in controlling absolutely everything. And also how she'd seen Leni take a nap with Lincoln for the first time in years.

"It's not only my older sisters, he's acting weird too" she explained. "This whole week I haven't seen him fighting for the TV, or reading his comics, or anything really. He's spending a lot of time with my mom, working on something that he doesn't want anyone to find out, and our older sisters are pampering him all the time. I think… I think the doctors saved him from death just in time, and everyone else is so affected because they're thinking about how it would be if… If he had..."

Her voice trembled, and she couldn't finish the sentence. Just by thinking of it…

"Lucy" started Haiku, having listened with attention all her friend had to say, "are you sure your brother is okay? What you're describing… It doesn't sounds like they're relief that he's fine after all."

"He's fine" she assured her.

"How do you know?"

"I asked him, and he promised me that he was fine" she assuredly said.

Haiku waited a few seconds before continuing.

"And don't you think that he might have lied to you?"

Lucy looked straight at her eyes.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"He promised me" she repeated, with the same faith and confidence she would have used to state that black was her favorite color.

Haiku opened up her mouth as if to reply, but she evidently changed her mind. She didn't say anything, and the two girls stayed quiet, hearing a fourteen years old boy reciting a poem, to everyone's hidden joy.

"Haiku..."

"Yes?"

"You know I'm comfortable with death as a concept, right?"

"Of course."

Lucy put her feet on the couch, risking being scolded by the manager, but her need to embrace her own knees highly overwhelmed his fear of being lectured in public.

"And yet… Just by thinking that Lincoln might have been close to die…" She couldn't help having a chill going down her spine. "It scares me to just think about it."

For a moment, her voice didn't sound like it usually did. Her last words weren't monotonous and whispering, they were clearly filled with fear, sadness and confusion. To say that she had no emotions was a lie. She loved, she feared, she could be happy and she could be sad, just like any other person. The big difference was that she never let her emotions take the best of her, she never let herself be controlled by emotional impulses. She could control herself. She could hide her feelings behind a mask of seriousness. At least, that's how it had always been since she could remember, that's how it had always been up until this last week, when she started to think about Lincoln having being close to death. Specifically, when she thought about the possibility of Lincoln actually dying.

Whenever she thought of it, she lost her composure.

"Of course it scares you. It's normal."

"But I'm not _normal_."

"Lucy" her friend said, with the corner of her lips forming a tiny smile, "you still have a lot to learn. Our fascination on the Beyond does not make us any different than the rest of the people. We can dissimulate out insecurities, we can hide behind a masquerade of apathy and black clothes, but we're just as vulnerable as an athlete or a school teacher are. In the end, we're all the same."

"But..."

"You will only accept yourself when you understand that your life style doesn't make you better or inferior than anyone else. You shouldn't be ashamed of feeling vulnerable or scared."

"But we bury our feelings, we deny them" Lucy complained, not really understanding what Haiku was telling her. "All these years, I've been told that we shouldn't give in to out emotions."

"That doesn't mean they're bad."

"Then why do we deny them?"

"Because, usually, pretending that we don't care is less painful."

Lucy wasn't fully convinced. She knew that Haiku was more mature and experimented in the goth life style than her, but she couldn't help to think that it was her friend the one who didn't get it. For years, she had learned that goths had no emotions, that they had no heart, that only simple mortals could be affected by banal things. She had texted Haiku because she was needing someone to help her realize that she shouldn't be feeling that bad. She needed someone to give her an advice on how to avoid those emotions.

Instead, Haiku was now making her question everything she had taken for granted for so long.

Even though she tried to keep her face as imperturbable as always, some of her worry and her troubled mind must have been reflected there.

"Lucy, have you read the last book in The Edwin Chronicles?" Haiku suddenly asked.

"Yes" Lucy answered, looking up at her friend.

"Do you remember why Edwin murdered Count Le Valliere on the Bloody Moon Night?"

"Because he needed the blood of a man who had killed six times to complete the purification ritual."

"And why did he wanted to do the ritual?"

"To save Rebecca from Francoise's snake poison."

"And why did he murder his main political partner, the one who was about to introduce him to the King's court? Why did he ruined the plans he had been working on for thirty years? Why did he sacrifice everything for Rebecca?"

"Because he didn't want her to die" she obviously said, starting to wonder what was her friend's point in all those questions.

"Exactly. Edwin, the Night Stalker, Prince of Darkness, was afraid of losing whom he loved the most."

Two teenagers and an adult had time to recite their poems, as the two girls in the back remained in silence. The younger one was thinking, reflecting on every word that had just being said, while her friend was simply respecting her silence, giving her time to clear her mind. The minutes kept passing, though, and Lucy didn't seem to be feeling any better.

"Lucy, your brother loves you" Haiku finally said, letting out a big sigh. "I'm sure that he wouldn't like to see you so worried over what's probably nothing. Go home and talk with him. Tell him everything you told me, tell him that you're afraid of losing him. He'll know how to make you feel better."

"My dad took him to the museum, he won't be home for a while" said Lucy.

"Then use that time and write him a poem telling him all these things."

"I..." Lucy, once again, sighed. "Alright. I'll do that. Thanks, Haiku. You are a great friend."

"You're welcome. Good luck."

Lucy got up and walked a few steps before she heard Haiku calling her name. When she turned around, her friend was barely inches away from her. Haiku's ability to appear out of nowhere was legendary.

"One more thing" she slowly said. "When I answered your call and went to the Sadie Hawkings dance with your brother, he lied to me for most part of the night, making me believe that he was there with me only."

Lucy felt the need to defend her brother. It had been all his fault for lying to his sisters, yes, but he had actually tried his best to make it an enjoyable night for Giggles, Polly, Tabby and Haiku herself. Any other boy would've plainly ignored them or haven't cared at all, but Lincoln had worked hard to make them have a good time, even if he only did it because of his sister's pressure.

"In his defense…" she started to say.

"No" Haiku interrupted her. "He lied to me, he deceived me, but in the most considered way possible, trying to make me and the other girls have a good time, so none of us would feel alone. He lied, yes, but he did it with good intentions."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You know what I was trying to say."

Haiku returned to her place in the couch and Lucy got out of the cafe, walking home in silence, but with a big debate going on inside her head.

* * *

It was close to four in the afternoon, and Lucy was sitting next to the small desk on her room, having finally finished a long poem for her brother. It was definitely not one of her best works, the metric was off at some points, and she'd rhymed "always" with itself more than once. But it was a poem that tried to tell Lincoln how much she loved him, how worried she was about him. She knew that he wouldn't be bothered by some small mistakes here and there.

Her bedroom door was opened, and Lynn came in, wearing her red bathrobe and a towel on her wet hair. She had just finished one of her exercise sessions and had taken a shower. Most people wouldn't believe it, but Lynn was definitely the one who showered the most in the Loud House. With all her exercise, it was necessary for her to be constantly taking showers, even though not even with five daily baths she smelled near as good as Lola.

She didn't say anything to Lucy when she saw her writing her poems. She stared at her for a fraction of a second and then she went to her bed and started getting dressed. Lucy assumed that she was still angry at her for the interrogation she had put her through in the morning during breakfast.

Swallowing her pride, Lucy grabbed her finished poem and stood up.

"Do you know when is dad coming home?" She asked her older sister. She asked for her father instead of Lincoln, trying to not raise suspicions.

Lynn, as she put on her classic red shorts, barely looked in her direction.

"No" she coldly answered.

Lucy didn't need to hear more to realize that things between them weren't good at all. With a sigh, she left her room. A small part of her was waiting for Lynn to call her and tell her she was sorry.

A small part of her was disappointed.

She got out of her room and into the hall. She would've walked all the way down to the living room, to hide in the chimney like she often did, but her eyes were soon focusing on Lincoln's room. Usually, she would have simply hide under her brother's bed, waiting for him to come back home and surprising him appearing when he least expected it. But since their parents had given him a new key to his room, it was impossible for her to walk inside unnanounced.

After making sure that none of her sisters were in the hall, Lucy quickly walked next to her brother's bedroom door. She knew that it was pointless, but she still liked to try to see if the door was actually locked, just in case it wasn't. So far Lincoln had never forgotten to lock it, but that's didn't keep her from trying.

Surprisingly enough, the doorknob moved, and she heard the unmistakable 'click'.

* * *

Lincoln was standing under his bedroom's door frame, petrified, unable to move. He was wishing for an earthquake to happen, to earth to split in two and take him to the deepest part of the Tartarus. He remembered that time when he and Clyde had ended up inside a bear's cave, and how they had saved themselves by pretending they were dead. Lincoln wanted to play dead, but he couldn't. There was no way out of the situation.

Lucy had entered his room. She was standing facing away from him, right into his new calendar, and she was also holding his bucket list, thoroughly reading it. The situation was bad. Very bad. Terrible. It was a nightmare.

The simple act of picturing himself telling the truth to his little sisters was dreadful, it scared him like nothing else had ever sacred him, not even The Harvester movie. That Monday morning when his older sisters had found out about him, Lincoln had lived the worst hours of his life. For a whole week now, Lincoln had lived some very emotional moments. Emotional, painful and utterly depressive moments with his sisters, his friends, his parents. What Lincoln had realized, though, was that the worst part was always finding out about the news. No one was ever prepared for receiving such news, something so terrible and unexpected. The pain didn't seem to wear off, at least not in just a couple of days judging by what Lincoln could see on his sisters and friends, but they could at least pretend and conceal a big part of their pain and sadness. That wasn't the case when they all found out. At that moment, there was no way of hiding the pain. They couldn't avoid letting it all out.

Seeing his little sisters suffering like that would wreck Lincoln's fragile heart. That's why he had asked for some time to confess the truth to his little sisters. Because he was simply not ready, he wasn't prepared to do it. It was perhaps a selfish decision, but he didn't want to go through the same situation that he had lived with his older sisters at the hospital. It was too painful. Besides, it's not like he was planning on never telling them, he was just asking for a little time. He hadn't lied to his father when he told him that he was willing to come clean with his younger sisters the next day. He knew that it wouldn't be easy, but he could imagine himself sitting alone with them and talking with them in the least painful way possible. He had even looked for a poem for Lucy about it.

But now Lucy had found out on her own, probably without expecting it, without him there to explain it all to her. He was appalled. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was going through Lucy's mind. His heart was beating like a racehorse's, threatening to beat its way out of his chest. He barely had enough mental clarity to understand that he couldn't just stand there forever.

"Lucy" he said, walking nearer, closing the door behind him.

He put a trembling hand on the girl's shoulder. She softly turned her around, and she let herself be moved. Lincoln saw that Lucy was reading his Objectives List. Just by reading the title, 'Operation Farewell', she could finish piecing it all together. To read each objective seemed like stretching out the pain, to add yet another nail to the coffin.

"Lucy, relax" he said, although it was really him who needed to urgently relax. "Let's sit down."

He tried to lead her to his bed, so they could sit together and he could explain it all to her, but Lucy finally snapped back to reality and free herself from Lincoln's soft grip. She looked up at her brother, and even though Lincoln couldn't see her eyes behind her bangs, he still felt her gaze piercing him like two sharped blades.

"Lucy..."

The girl's fingers closed themselves on the paper, messing it up.

"You're dying" she finally said, extending her arm to show him his list.

Lincoln felt like he was swallowing a rock wrapped in barbed wire.

"Listen, let's just sit down and talk this out, okay?" He repeated, moving closer, trying to put an arm around her shoulders or something. But Lucy took a step back.

"You're not okay" she said, shaking her head. "I… You… You told me you were fine."

"Please, don't do this..."

"But you're dying."

Lincoln closed his eyes and started to massage his temples.

"I… Lucy… I sweat, it's not what it looks like" he started to say, immediately regretting having said so.

"Isn't it? ' _Operation Farewell_ '? ' _See a sunset_ '? ' _Fix things with Lynn_ '?" She said, starting to read out loud some of his objectives. "You… You made a new calendar. Why did you threw the old one? Why… Why doesn't it even go to the end of the month?"

He had seen Lucy sad before, like that time when she believed Rocky didn't like her because she was too weird. It wasn't really a very different picture from everyday Lucy: she sighed a little more often and she spoke a little slower. But he had never seen her like he was seeing her right then, her whole body shivering, having troubles to speak fluently, her voice shaking. He wasn't prepared for that.

"Lucy, look at me" he said, trying to keep some kind of control over the whole situation, "let's sit down for a sec so we can talk, alright?"

"No!" She fiercely said. "Stop avoiding it! Tell me… Just tell me the truth! Are you dying?!"

Lincoln held her gaze. Ever since that Monday afternoon when his sisters had visited him at the hospital, he knew that he would have to face this situation. He had promised her that he was okay. She believed him, she had hugged him with an unexampled amount of tenderness and relief in the little goth girl. He knew that he had dig his own grave by lying to her, but what other choice did he have? He had known from the first moment that he would have to eventually face the consequences of his lie.

"Yes."

Lucy's hand lost its grip on Lincoln's list, letting it fall to the floor. She started to breath through her mouth, with her chest moving exaggeratedly, like every puff of air required an enormous effort. As his eyes started to itch, Lincoln how his little sister was staggering to his desk, trying to find some support for her suddenly weak legs. That was all it took to trigger Lincoln's older brother instinct. He quickly went to her and gave her a hug.

"Lucy, don't worry" he said, gently stroking her hair. "I'm here. I'm here with you. I'll always be."

He had studied and memorized tens of phrases to tell his friends and family. He had prepared three different scripts about how to tell the truth to his sisters. And yet, at that precise moment, he could barely remember his own name. He was feeling Lucy trembling between his arms. He considered the possibility of calling out for Lori to help him, but that would only attract everyone's attention, and he didn't want that. He was lost, he simply had no clue of what to do.

"You lied to me."

Lucy's words, in a painful whisper, only made him feel even worse.

"You promised."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You promised."

"Lucy, I—"

"No!"

She tried to push him off, but Lincoln tightened his embrace.

"Lucy, calm down" he asked her.

"Go away!"

The two of them started to struggle. Lincoln was bigger and had the upper hand, but Lucy was doing all she could to push him away from her, and eight years old girls could be extremely violent whenever they felt like it. Lincoln was trying to contain her, but she wouldn't stop moving.

"Lucy, please, let me explain it!"

"No!"

"I never meant to hurt you, I didn't want to—"

"LET ME GO!"

Lincoln's hands let her go, and she took the opportunity to grab the first thing that she could find, that being a math book, and threw it right at Lincoln's face. The unexpected impact made him fall back, and Lincoln was left in the floor, grabbing his face in pain, only being able to hear the sound of his bedroom door being opened and some quick steps going down the stairs. By the time he was finally up, the rest of the girls were poking their heads out of their rooms into the hall.

"Lola, Lana, are you guys fighting again?" Asked Lori, frowning at them.

"No!" Said both twins.

"Then why did you screamed like that, Lola?" Asked Luna.

"Me? It was Leni!"

"Of course not! My voice is not that sharp!" Leni complained.

"Then who was it?" Wondered Luan, confused.

"Lucy!"

The nine girls turned to look at Lincoln, who had picked up the key he'd left in his desk that morning and was closing his bedroom door as fast as he could. When he turned around he gave his older sisters a quick look, starting from Lynn, the closest, to Lori and Leni at the end of the hall. Even if his pale face would have not been enough, and they wouldn't have understood what was going on with the look he was giving them, his terrified voice told them that something was very wrong.

"It was Lucy!" He said, before running downstairs.

There was immediately a lot of movement upstairs, but he didn't care. All his mind could think of right then was that he needed to catch Lucy before she could ran away. The entry door was partially open. He stepped into the front yard as fast as he could, and he looked right and left. There were no signs of Lucy. Everything was normal, the kites on the tree, the boomerang in the roof, the bike against… Wait…

He ran to the middle of the street. He looked at his right and saw nothing. Then he looked at his left.

"LUCY!"

He started to run, but the small figure was pedaling away too fast for him to catch her, mounting on Lynn's former bike, the one that she had handed down to Lincoln and that he had tried to give to Lana. She had accepted it the first day, but after fixing it and doing some improvements, she gave it back to Lincoln. She would rather be the official mechanic.

And unfortunately, she had done an excellent job at improving the bike. Lucy was dashing like an arrow through the streets.

"LUCY!" He yelled once again as loud as he could, stopping just a few steps from where he started to run. "LUCY!"

If she actually heard him, he wouldn't know. She kept pedaling, becoming smaller and smaller as the distance between her and Lincoln grew. He was completely terrified. Where was she going to? How much had it affected her? Very much, evidently, but what if she was so affected she started to pedal recklessly? She was going just too fast, she didn't seem to slow down on the corners. What if a distracted driver ran her over?!

He heard many fast footsteps behind him, and he didn't need to look behind him to know that his sisters had finally come down.

"What happened?" Asked a worried Leni.

Lincoln turned around and his eyes looked for Lori's, finding them in a second, looking at him with worry. He didn't need to tell her anything, his look was eloquent enough. Luna and Luan got it immediately too.

"I'll tell dad" the rocker said, running right back into the house.

"Lori, she's getting away! We don't know where she's heading to!" Lincoln beseeching told her.

"I'm on it!"

They tried to look behind them, but a red blur dashed besides them at an incredible speed, and they needed to look back into the street to see Lynn, wearing her helmet and her rollers, going as fast as she could en Lucy's direction. Lucy had a big head start, but Lincoln knew his older sister, and he knew that she wouldn't stop until she would catch up with her.

"Lola, Lana, you go inside with mom. Luan, stay here and contact us if anything happen" Lori immediately ordered, with such vehemence that no one dared to question her. "Leni, you're coming with me."

"Where are you going?" Lincoln asked, as the rest of his sisters did as Lori told them, and his two oldest sisters were stepping inside Vanzilla.

"To the graveyard, obviously" answered Lori. "She's definitely going there to be alone with her ghost friends or something."

Lincoln wasn't entirely sure about that.

"Are coming with us?"

He thought about it. He didn't really believe that his little sister would be going to the graveyard. But it was undeniably a plausible option, and he wasn't in the position of being able to reject any idea.

"Alright. Let's go."

* * *

Lincoln received a call from Lynn as Lori, Leni and himself were finally reaching the grave yard. Sounding completely grieved and on the verge of tears, she told him that she had lost Lucy's tracks in the traffic around midtown. Lincoln had to calm her down and tell her that it wasn't her fault, that she had done her best. She offered herself to keep looking for Lucy all over town, but Lincoln asked her to go back home and to not worry, that they would find Lucy.

When his two older sisters and him finally got to the graveyard, Lincoln felt a chill on her spine. He got out of the van, but his legs wouldn't move. He had always been scared of places like that, and it would scare him to go inside there even if it was plain day.

But now he was also extremely nervous, thinking that the next time his family would go there was probably going to be to bury him.

"Linky, are you okay?" Asked Leni, realizing that her little brother was just standing in his place outside the van, looking terrified at the high concrete walls.

Lori also turned to see him. Lincoln tried to keep his look from betraying him. The only thing that mattered right now was to find Lucy, he didn't want them to be worried about him. But he couldn't move. He couldn't say anything. Those wall that separated the living from the dead was too much for him, it made him feel extremely uneasy.

His eldest sister looked at him for a couple of seconds, trying to figure out what was wrong, until she finally realized it.

"Oh, Lincoln..."

She quickly went next to him, knelt down and hugged him tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know… I didn't realize..."

"No, it's… it's okay" he told her, hugging her back.

Lori broke away from the hug, but still left a hand on his shoulder, and started to unnecessarily fix Lincoln's hair, perhaps looking for an excuse to caress him.

"Do you want to stay here? Leni and I can go inside and look for Lucy, and we'll text you if we find her."

Lincoln softly nodded. Lori, with her face full of guilt and regret, stood up and led Leni inside the graveyard. Her sister didn't seem to fully understand what was going on, and looked back on her shoulder to look at Lincoln as she followed Lori. The eleven years old boy was left alone next to the family van, in front of Royal Woods graveyard.

He wanted to go inside and help finding his sister, to be with her as soon as possible. There was nothing more important for him right then than making sure that Lucy was okay. Even if she hated him for having lied to her. It didn't matter, he just wanted to know that nothing bad had happened to her. He wanted to help her understand. And yet, he didn't want to go into the cemetery. He didn't want to be there, he didn't want to get any closer. It was foolishness, it was so dumb… but he couldn't avoid feeling terrified by it.

He kicked the curb, feeling incredible useless. That was definitely not the moment to be worried about his imminent… about him. He should be completely focused on Lucy. He needed to help find her.

The only comfort he could find in his impotence was the fact that he didn't believe that Lucy was there. He understood why would Lori think that. Lucy would have definitely went to a place where she could feel comfortable, secure, where she could be alone, probably places where death was in the air. But Lucy was also an extremely smart girl. Not like Lisa, but she was intelligent enough to know that if she wanted to be alone, she shouldn't go to the first place her family would look for her.

Lincoln started to think about all the possible places Lucy might have gone other than the cemetery. The Jenkins's old house seemed like a good option; many believed that it was haunted. The tree on the highest hill was a place where supposedly a lot of people had hung themselves to end their lives, so maybe Lucy was there right then. Or she might be in the park's pond. It wasn't scary at all, but it was a nice place to think. Lincoln continued to think about where his sister might be, until he looked down the street. Just five blocks from there was the junk yard.

He stared at it for a few minutes, pondering the possibilities. He looked back at the graveyard. His sisters had just gotten inside a few minutes ago, it would take them a while to inspect it all. Instead of just standing there without doing anything useful, the least he could do was trying to help.

He walked fast paced the very few blocks that separated him from the junkyard, only to get there and find out that apparently it was closed on Sundays. He shook the link wire fence, but the chains and padlock were keeping it closed. He let out a defeated groan. He started to walk back to the van, looking down and with his hands inside his jean pockets. He saw a can and furiously kicked it with all his strength. He followed it as it flew to the street corner, falling just a few feet away from a bush. Hadn't he looked that way, he would've missed a metallic reflection from said bush. He walked closer and checked it out.

He was utterly surprised when he realized it was his own bike. He started to urgently looked everywhere. He imagined how a random passerby would think of him as a crazy little boy, turning his head from side to side like a meerkat, looking for a clue. And he finally found it: there was a small opening in the fence.

Lincoln quickly took out his phone and texted Lori:

" _I think I found her. I'm going inside the junkyard. Wait for us outside._ "

He inspected the hole someone had opened sometime ago. He tried to stretched it, but he couldn't do much about it. He had to drop himself to the floor and crawl his way inside, and even so a loose wire scratched his head and hooked in his polo shirt, piercing a little hole in it by his ribcage. That was his favorite orange polo, but he didn't care at all. He simply shook the dust out of himself before he started to run between the giant walls of piled up junk and destroyed cars. He was tempted to start to scream Lucy's name, but if she was really there, he didn't want to give her a chance of running away from him once again.

He strolled the place for many minutes, looking for any sign of Lucy. The place was immense, and there were many places where she might be hiding. He walked and he walked, until he finally saw, sitting on top of an old and rusty Camaro's bonnet, a small white and black figure. Lincoln finally let out a sigh and quickly hid behind a car, trying to think what could he do.

He had pictured this scene multiple times throughout the week. He had planned different ways of approaching his sisters, how to bring up the subject, he had studied phrases that might be useful to make them feel better. Of course, he hadn't really thought that he would be needing to talk with them in a junkyard after his little sister would find the truth by herself and would run away from the house. He started to think on what he could do.

The tumors on his brain were killing him, and Lincoln hated them with all his will. But besides ending prematurely with his life, his tumors had given him two distinctive traits. They were the cause of his white hair, and they had also caused him attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. That's why he was so original with his plans, so fast to find clever ways of solving his problems. And right then, hiding behind a car, Lincoln asked his brain to use that condition, to take advantage of the side effects of his slow death.

Just like he had once needed just five minutes to come up with a play script to convince his parents to take him and all his siblings to that luxury vacation hotel, Lincoln was now wishing to be able to come up with a plan to talk with Lucy. He closed his eyes and tried to focus, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't think of any way to talk with her. He was desperate for a plan. But then he took a peek at Lucy. She was definitely crying, sitting on an old car's bonnet, after running away from their home. All because of his plans.

He felt his phone vibrating. He had some messages from Lori. He quickly texted her to leave them alone, to just wait for them. He also told her where Lucy had left his bike. Lori asked him to let them get in with him, to help him, and Lincoln thought about it. A part of him wanted to accept her help. But Lucy deserved an explanation from him, personally, and he wanted to do that alone. It may not had much sense, but Lincoln felt like it was something that should be kept between them two, only. So he begged Lori to just wait for them to come out.

Before putting his phone back into his pocket, he texted Luan. He told her to ask their parents for a spare key to his room and get there. He also pleaded her to not look at the things he had on his wall. He send her instructions on how to unlock his computer, and told her to text him a link he had saved in his browser's bookmarks. Once the message was sent, Lincoln sighed and mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do.

He had no plan whatsoever.

He simply walked to the old Camaro, and as he got closer, his little sister crying became louder. It was so weird to listen Lucy crying like any other eight years old girl… It was an image he though he would never witness. An image he wished he would had never had to see. With his heart about to crack into a thousand pieces, he kept walking, stopping right in front of the car.

"Lucy."

Another strange image: a startled Lucy. It wasn't common for someone to spook her. That was her job. She looked up and looked at Lincoln. Tears were running down both her cheeks and her lips were shaking like she was swimming in ice-cold water.

"Please, don't run" Lincoln asked her while he slowly, very slowly put his hands on the car and got on top of its bonnet.

Lucy crawled back until her back hit the windshield, but she didn't seem to have any intentions of running away again, which Lincoln considered as a tiny, small victory. He crawled near her and stop himself right in front of her. She was still crying and shivering, with her shoulder and chest spasming with every pant that left her throat.

Lincoln was suddenly aware of how small his little sister looked like. She was hysterically crying, with her knees against her chest and his hands trying their best to wipe the tears from her cheeks, but it was impossible to keep them dry considering how fast the tears were coming out from the corner of her eyes. Lincoln honestly didn't remember ever seeing her so affected by anything in her life.

It was painful to see.

"Lucy, I know I did wrong" he told her, with as much regret as he could muster. "I know I promised you I was okay, and I hurt you with that lie."

He waited for her to say something, but Lucy was still just sitting there, crying. Meanwhile, he felt his phone vibrating again. He guessed it was Luan.

"The truth is..." he continued, "the truth is I didn't want you guys to know it yet. Not you, Lana, Lola, or Lisa. I didn't want to tell you because… because I knew the news would hurt you. I knew it would hit you guys really hard, I knew that..."

He stopped himself in the middle of his improvised speech. He looked at his little sister, crying her heart out, possibly hating him for what he had done. And after considering for a few seconds, Lincoln sighed, making an important decision.

No more lies.

"The truth is I didn't want to tell you because I wasn't ready" he finally said, feeling defeated. "I wasn't trying to protect you guys, I was trying to protect myself. I didn't want to see you like this, but not because of you, but because of me. I don't… I can't stand seeing you crying. It breaks my heart to see you like this. And also… Also I..."

He clenched his fist and closed his eyes. He needed to be strong.

"I also didn't want to tell you because everytime I speak with someone I love about it, it gets harder" he confessed. "I thought it'd be easier, but it's not. Because when I talk about it, I'm accepting that I'm going to… that it'll happen, and I… I'm scared. I'm afraid, and I don't know what to do. And I just assumed that with you guys I would have to explain a lot of things, and I really didn't want… well, I _don't_ want to go through it."

He stopped just for a second to catch his breath. He was starting to ramble, to grief for his upcoming death, when he should be trying to comfort Lucy.

"I should've known that I was just hurting you by lying. I should've known that if there's someone in this family who knows about death it's you, that I wasn't 'protecting'. On the contrary. I should have not lied to you. It was wrong. And if you hate me… I understand that."

Even if his sister's bangs didn't let him look at her eyes, he could still feel her eyes staring at him. He felt the disappointment, the weight of the treason he had committed on her trust. He had to look elsewhere.

"I-I don't hate y-you."

It was like someone else had spoken. Lincoln had to turn around to realize that there was no one else with them, because for the first time in so many years, Lucy had spoken with her natural voice. It wasn't that gloomy, whispering voice she used most of the time. Her voice had been just like it any other eight years old girl. Like a normal girl. Like a scared girl.

"You don't?" Asked Lincoln, mainly because he wanted to hear her again.

"Of c-course not" she answered between sobs. "I'm not… I'm not crying b-because you lied."

Lincoln was honestly surprised.

"I thought you… I thought that's why you—"

"Isn't it obvious?!" She interrupted him, with an anger and desperation that seemed so out of character on her. "I'm crying because you're dying!"

As soon as she said it, she bursted into crying once again. It was extremely painful to see her like that, crying like any other little girl. That wasn't Lucy.

Or maybe that was the real Lucy, the authentic, the one that Lincoln had stupidly forgotten that existed.

He crawled closer and wrapped his arms around her. Lucy didn't fight back this time, and let him drag her and sit her on his lap, until she was lying against his chest, almost in a fetal position, soaking his favorite polo with her tears. Lincoln's eyes started to shed some tears too, but she couldn't see that, so he decided to pay no mind to it, hoping that it may pass unnoticed by her.

"It's okay" he told her, softly caressing her back. "I'm here, Lucy. I'm with you. I'll always be."

"No..."

"Of course I will. Even if you can't see me or listen to me, I'll be with you, making sure you're okay" he told her, finally remembering some of the phrases he had practiced so many times in his room, "every step of the way."

"L-Lincoln…"

"I'm gonna still watch over you, Lucy. I'll never leave you alone. Whenever you need me, I'll—"

"But I need you here!"

Lucy pressed her face against Lincoln's chest, moving her head side to side, like he was trying to dig herself there.

"I d-don't… I don't want you there. I have friend there, but I need you here. I need t-to touch you. To feel you. To hear your voice. I need you t-to… To help me with my poems. To hear me out. To ask me how m-my day was."

"Lucy… You… You'll never be alone, if that's what's scaring you" he told her, gently stroking her hair. "You could never be alone in our family."

"It won't be the same."

"Maybe not… But I'm sure that you'll discover that it'll be better than you think right now."

"How? How could it be good without you there?" She asked, almost without any breath left. "You don't understand… Death… Oblivion… Being forgotten… I need you. I need you here with me."

He just embraced her tighter. He didn't know what to say. He tried to find the right words, but they didn't occur to him. Luckily, he didn't need to know the right words; only where to find them. And during the last few days, specially between Wednesday and Thursday, he had been looking for a lot of things, and he had found something special for Lucy.

With some difficulty, he used one of his hands to take his phone out of his pocket. He immediately opened the message from Luan —whom had been considered enough to not ask him anything about what he had told her to do— and opened the link she'd send him. He waited for his internet connection to open the page.

"I have a poem for you" he said in a whisper, as he scrolled down the page with his thumb until he found the poem.

Lucy didn't say anything or moved her head, but she managed to reduce the volume of her crying a little. Just enough to allow Lincoln to clear his throat and start reciting the poem in the most serene and calm way he could, given the circumstances.

 _Do not stand at my grave and weep  
I am not there. I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glints on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush  
I am the swift uplifting rush  
Of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry;  
I am not there. I did not die _

He put his phone against the windshield and seized the moment to slyly wipe some of his tears.

"You talk about being forgotten… I'm scared about that too, Lucy. But… Tell me the truth, do you think you could ever forget me?"

She snuggled more into him, violently shaking her head no.

"That's all I need, then. To know that my precious little sister will remind me. With that I… I can g-go feeling content."

He gulped.

"You won't need a crystal ball to talk with me, Lucy" he assured her. "Whenever you feel alone, whenever you want to share one of your poems with me, or… or when you simply want to talk with me, you just have to close your eyes, and I'll be there."

"B-B-But I… I w-… I won't hear you..."

"You won't need to."

"Yes I will."

"Maybe" he granted, not looking to argue with her, "but you'll know I'm with you all the same. You'll know it here."

And ever so softly, he pressed his index finger on her chest, right where her heart was.

"You don't need to hear me to know that I love you, that I've always loved you and I always will. I will forever be your big brother" he told her, as he gently put a hand under Lucy's chin and slowly lifted her head up so she would look at his eyes. "Not even death can change that."

She kept crying, looking at his eyes. And even though he was still visibly moved by the entire situation, he managed to flash her a smile, as he continued to caress one of her cheeks. He used his thumb to wipe a tear that was running down her cheekbone, and in the process —a little by accident, a little on purpose— he moved her bangs.

For the first time in some years, Lincoln could finally look at his sister's eyes, with no hair in the middle. It was like knowing her again. It seemed so dumb, but Lincoln had almost forgotten about Lucy's small eyes. How small, round and bright they were, like two gemstones. The most amazing thing, however, was that even after so many years hidden beneath a thick layer of black hair, her eyes were as light and bright as Lincoln could remember having seen them long ago.

He started to remember dozens of moments he had shared with his little sister. He remembered that picture with him, Luan and Lucy in a mechanical horse. He remembered that time when they had both fallen asleep in the vents, covered by Lincoln's blanket, sleeping peacefully together while the rest of the family were looking for them. He remember Lucy's smile and excitement when he had decided to dress as a vampire to go trick or treating with her on a Halloween night.

Reminiscing about all those moments they had both shared, Lincoln couldn't help himself and leaned against Lucy, tenderly kissing her forehead.

"I-I… I love you" she said, putting one hand over Lincoln's, feeling his warmth, enjoying his touch.

Lincoln softly nodded, closing his eyes.

"I love you too."

* * *

When the sun started to hide behind the buildings on the west side of town, Lincoln decided that he couldn't keep ignoring Lori's messages. Very carefully, he moved one of the arms that were holding Lucy, whom was embracing him like she would never let him go, and grabbed his phone. He texted Lori that they were okay, that they would be coming out any second now.

"Lucy" he said, finding out that his throat was sore; he shouldn't have been surprised, considering what had happened for the last couple of hours, "we need to go. Everyone's worried."

She said nothing. She didn't reacted. She kept hugging him in silence, with just the occasional panting of a faint and drained crying. Lincoln decided to take the initiative and, being very careful, he managed to get off the car and stood up, dragging Lucy along with him. Now that they were both standing, she had to settle with just wrapping herself around his left arm, resting her head on his shoulder and trying to be as close to him as possible. The two of them started to slowly walk to the hole in the fence.

"Lincoln" she said, and her voice still sounded like that of a normal kid, just a little more tired than before, like the words were having trouble leaving her throat, "how did you find me here?"

"I was at the graveyard" he explained. "And I knew that you wouldn't go to a place so obvious. Then I saw the junkyard in the distance and thought… This is the closest thing you found to a graveyard, right? A place were cars come to die, where they are recycled. This is the final destination for cars, and with them, all the dreams and experiences people lived in them."

Lucy didn't say anything. She just tightened her grip on him. Further words seemed to be unnecessary, so Lincoln simply rested his head over hers. They kept walking until they reached the fence hole. Having someone to hold the wire while they were crawling out proved to be very effective, and they managed to get out of the junkyard without any more scratches.

Lori and Leni were waiting for them inside Vanzilla. Lori was on the driver seat, and Leni in the back, waiting for them. She opened the door, and Lincoln and Lucy got inside. They sat without worrying about the sweet spot. No one said anything. Lucy ended up being in the middle of Leni and Lincoln, leaning against him. Leni stretched her arms so she could hug them both.

"What you said about the junkyard..." Lucy suddenly said after several minutes of silence, startling both Lori and Leni with her voice. "That's not why I went there."

Lincoln looked at her.

"Then why did you?"

Lucy snuggled more against him.

"That's were dad retrieved Vanzilla after getting rid of Veronica. That's where everything went back to the way it was."

The rest of the way back home was very quiet.

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _Writing fanfiction is way easier, in many aspects, than writing a professional novel. We all know that. Even when we're trying to write as best as we can, even when we take our stories seriously (and believe me, I take this VERY seriously), we're not bound to comply with many things and standards that we would if we were writing a novel for an editorial. That's why I can take the liberty of making cameos of my favorite characters and put my favorite music in my story. That's also why the expectations should always be lower than with a published work._

 _However, there's one catch with fanfics. At least for me. And that is that I publish chapters at the same speed as I write them. I mean, I finish a chapter, and I update my story, so you guys can read it. I don't have the opportunity to write the whole story, finish it, and then start to re-read it and fix all the issues it has. Look for any "How to write a novel" guide and you'll find that the first step is always writing the first draft, and then there comes all the editing and the real work. Because the first try is never perfect._

 _Never._

 _This is my first try on this chapter. And as you may have noticed, it has a lot of issues. The last scene between Lucy and Lincoln isn't nearly as emotional, as deep and as intense as it should be. I've tried to fix it many times, but I just can't. This is the best I can do right now. I need time, perspective, fresh air and hindsight to realize what's exactly wrong with this and find the way to add all the things I wanted to tell and I couldn't. I wanted to add more depth in Lucy and Lincoln's relationship, I wanted to deepen into Lucy's fears and insecurities, into Lincoln's state of mind at this point. But… I couldn't. I'm sorry, but I honestly couldn't do it in a way that I was happy with it._

 _So this is how my first draft on this chapter ends. Now I'll go on with the rest of the story, I'll start writing chapter 18 as soon as I can, and I will finish Requiem. But after it's finished, I'll come back to this chapter and will try to make this a great chapter like it deserves. Not just a regular chapter._

 _You can agree with me, you can still enjoy this chapter and give me ideas or advices on how to improve it, and I'd be grateful. Or you can hate me, you can tell me that this chapter was shit and that I'm overreacting. You may be right about all of that. I'm just your average ordinary everyday amateur writer. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, and I can't have every chapter being better than the previous. Sometimes I mess up._

 _I'm human._

 _Speaking of which, in two hours it's my birthday (timezones, huh), so I'm expecting y'all be wishing me a happy birthday. If you won't, I may wait a month before updating again, muahahaha._


	18. Shared emotions

_._

 _Good night, everybody! Sorry for publishing one day after the Spanish version and not on a Friday. This translation turned out to be more difficult than usual._

 _I want to thank all your support, especially all the nice words I received not only for my birthday, but also related to the last chapter. As I said, I'm not personally proud of the way it turned out to be, but I was really glad to see that most of you could enjoy it nevertheless. In the future, I will try to edit so I can make it better._

 _I'd like to say too that I know that some new chapters have intervened with my headcanons (like, in Vantastic Voyage we found out that Lynn Sr's father was a hippie and that Lynn Jr actually has cooking skills, which is a hidden depth to her in my fic). But since this story is being written as the show is airing, this was to be expected. So yeah, this is an AU obviously, so it's no big deal. But I wanted to mention it._

 _Also, I received some messages about why didn't I post the usual 'special thanks' last chapter. Well, to be honest… I can't do it anymore. When I started, I was having 20-30 reviews each chapter (in this English version, that's it), so I was kinda able to do it. But now… Last chapter had 85 reviews in English and almost 50 in Spanish. I read them all, but the amount of time it would take me to answer every single one of them is an amount of time that I don't have. I do ream them, I really do. And you know that I answer every single PM you guys send me and almost all the questions you ask me in Tumblr (even if I'm not posting much there lately)._

 _Ok, one last announce: Requiem for a Loud is now being **translating to Korean**. You can find the link in Requiem's **TV Tropes** page. Or PM if you want. I'm not the one translating it, but the writer asked my permission and I was more than happy to give him the green light. It makes me happy, ha._

 _Alright, so thank you all, my wonderful and faithful readers. Without you, I would be just a sad, pathetic writer, but thanks to you I am now a sad and pathetic writer with a story that has over 800 reviews, almost 400 favs and followers and over 180K views! Thank you all!_

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 18: Shared emotions**

 **.**

Agnes Johnson was almost late to his morning class that Monday. Her alarm clock woke her up just like it always did, and the traffic wasn't worse than usual. Her delay was simply due to the long minutes she spent sitting inside her car in the teacher's parking lot, just outside Royal Woods Elementary School. She sat there with her hands on the steering wheel and her gaze lost somewhere on the windshield not really focusing on anything in particular, with the radio off and the windows closed.

She only reacted when she heard the school bell, which she could recognize even over all the noise from the street and the inherent chaos of any place that congregated over four hundred kids aged from three to thirteen years old. It was knowing that she had to go to work what finally made her react. The need to hold on to her profession, her vocation, was what gave her the strength to get out of her car and go to her classroom, where almost all her students awaited her.

Almost.

Agnes had known since she was a kid that she wanted to be a teacher. Ever since she was young she enjoyed helping her little sister with her homework, and she had always been an exemplary student in her school. Her friends were always asking for help, and she gladly shared her work so they could "adapt it" —and to think that their students believed she didn't realize when they copied each other—, and she had no problems in hanging out with them after school to explain to them what they hadn't understood.

She had always had a teacher vocation, and when she got into college, she decided that she would be teaching in elementary schools. Her passion for history would have actually made her a better candidate for something like a high school teacher —if not college—, but the challenge of teaching kids was much more appealing and interesting for her. She wanted to help them in such an important time of their lives. She still remembered Mrs. Smith, her fourth-grade teacher, and the impact she had had in her life.

She loved working with kids, too. Any kind of tiredness or annoyance she seldom felt was mainly because of the restrictions the current educational system imposed her, or perhaps due to her low salary. But she would never be tired of seeing the smile on an eleven years old kid who had finally understood how to resolve a math problem. The innocence, the happiness, all the little childhood dramas. Working with children was somewhat therapeutic for her.

As she walked the halls and tried her best to avoid bumping into those distracted kids who took their stuff from the lockers at the last second, Agnes raised a hand to touch the small plastic clasp, that orange brooch she had never used before.

She started to think about her students. It was inevitable to end up loving them like they were some kind of family like they were her nieces and nephews. She saw them an average of five hours at day, five days at week, over two semesters. She spent more time with them than she did with her sister or her parents. It was impossible to share all that time, to see them growing up, learning, playing, and then not ending up forming a special connection with them all.

Sometimes she ended up knowing them better than their own parents. Just by seeing how they sat on their chairs, Agnes was capable of knowing if they were having troubles at home or if they had fought with a friend. She knew their fears, what they liked, their strengths, their talents. And even if it seemed impossible because of the giant number of kids she had to teach every year, she could remember almost all of them. She loved it when ex-students saw her out of school and smiled or waved at her, or even walked near to speak with her just for a moment.

She loved all her students. They were family for her.

When she put her hand on her classroom's doorknob, she took a deep breath. She again raised her hand to the orange clasp she had stored inside one of her drawers. She touched it for a second, closed her eyes, had yet another deep breath and entered her classroom, doing her best to try to act calmly.

Her students were definitely acting like they always did. They were talking, half of them were standing and laughing out loud, doing typical eleven years old kid stuff. Most of them had their phones on their hands. When she got inside the classroom, the noise slowly faded away, and they sat in their respective places. Agnes went to her desk and put her purse down. She took out her notebook, her student's records, her pencil case. Then she took her pencils and pens one by one, aligning then carefully on her desk. She took her time to do it. Each movement in slow motion.

Eventually, she ran out of excuses. She looked up and found the worried looks of her students, all immersed in a thick silence. They were waiting for her to greet them like she always did first thing after getting inside the classroom.

"Good, uh, good morning… class" she said, trying to fake some enthusiasm into her voice and miserably failing at it.

"Good morning, Mrs. Johnson" answered back her students, like a choir. They were exchanging some side glances between them.

Agnes quickly inspected the class with her eyes. They all looked a little bit confused by her attitude but seemed to be mostly okay. The only one who looked obviously depressed was Clyde McBride. Agnes felt guilty. She had seen him acting strange for the last week. She had tried to talk with him, but the boy had shielded himself behind "just some stuff outside school, nothing to worry about". She didn't believe him, she was sure that it was something important for him, but she didn't push it. Sometimes students needed time on their own.

Not it was painfully obvious that Clyde's problem was the empty seat behind him, the place Lincoln Loud usually occupied.

Director Huggings had called her on Friday after classes had already ended. The call had taken her by surprise, and her surprise only grew more when he told her that there was terrible news coming from the Middle and High School. A young girl, one of Agnes's ex-students, had sent one of her classmates to the hospital in a rage attack.

And then he told her the reason.

Agnes loved all her students as if they were part of her family. Teachers always have their favorite students, it's impossible to not create empathy with some more than others. As long as that preference didn't affect her impartiality, it wasn't at issue at all. She had some favorite students in the fifth grade, for different reasons. Clyde was one of her favorites for his enthusiasm and how responsible he was with his homework. Jordan was also one of her favorites because she always asked what she didn't understand, unlike most students.

And then there was Lincoln Loud. She had taught his five older sisters, and she had heard a lot about him before actually receiving him in her classroom. He was all that sisters' reports said. An easily impressed boy, with an extraordinary creativity and who was always coming up with the most original and amazing ideas for his projects, even if they seldom turned out the way he wanted them to. Agnes understood him. With so many skilled and talented sisters —the school's trophy case had "Loud" all over it—, the poor kid was in need of some recognition. He wasn't the most clever, nor did he have the best grades, and he certainly had problems paying attention to…

She should've noticed it. She should've known that his lack of attention wasn't normal. She should've sent him to the school psyco pedagogue, he might have realized Lincoln had ADHD. He might have ordered some studies. Maybe… Maybe they might have been able to save him.

"Mrs. Johnson?"

Agnes came out of her thoughts and looked for the student that had called her. Molly had her hand midway on the air.

"Yes, uh, I'm sorry. What is it, Molly?"

"Is… Is everything alright?" She asked.

"Yes, yes, don't worry." She cleared her throat and started to nervously move her papers on her desk, looking for some note about what was she supposed to teach this class. "Alright, class, today, we'll… er… We'll continue with what we learned last week, which is… uh..."

The words died in her throat as she was trying to think. She couldn't focus on today's lesson. She couldn't think about what she should teach them. The only thing that was on her mind was the orange, plastic clasp she was wearing on her head. It was a gift she had received for teacher's day from a very vague student. A student who had remembered at the last second that it was a special day and that he should buy something for his teacher, so he went into the store right next to the school and bought the first thing he had found. She had put it in her drawers along with all the gifts her students had given her throughout the years, but he had never used it. It was too mundane.

Right then, Agnes was convinced that she could never again leave her house without it.

Her plan had been to continue with her class as usual, give them some homework, and use the last part of the day to talk with the children and break the news to them. But her role as an educator was beyond just teaching them what the government said they should be taught. Her moral duty was to prepare them as people, not just to teach them how to repeat what was written in books. She needed to prepare them for life. And in life, sometimes, you needed to take a break.

She had no problem in losing one day to tell them what they needed to know.

"Put your books back in your bags" she suddenly said, sitting on the chair behind her desk. "We won't use them today."

She closed her eyes to massage her temples, but she could still sense her students piercing gaze on her, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Kids… There's something I need to tell you."

The silence was terribly painful.

"The principal… We didn't want to tell you at first, but you deserve to know the truth. Yes. You deserve it."

She heard a gasp and opened up her eyes. The whole class was staring at her, definitely scared, but none of them looked as terrified as Clyde. Agnes looked at the boy in the eyes, and he quickly understood what was going on. To try to calm him or transmit him some easiness was pointless. She just sadly looked at him. And Clyde understood. Agnes saw him wiping his eyes under his glasses, before he laid his head on his desk, with his face covered by his arms.

"As you may have noticed… One of your classmates hasn't been attending school for a whole week now."

They all immediately turned around to look at the empty desk where Lincoln usually sat.

"That's right. Lincoln… he's… he's sick. A-And t-that's why… why he… He's..."

Agnes couldn't contain herself anymore. She started to cry on her desk. Her weeping soon blended with Clyde's, and the rest of the class managed to put two and two together.

"Lincoln?" Said Rusty, worried.

"What is…? Is he… sick?" Asked Whitney in a whisper.

"We saw him on Wednesday," said Liam, shaking his head no. "He was here, just outside the school. He left with Ronnie Anne."

"He looked okay" added Zach.

"Then why isn't he here?"

After Cookie's question, they all turned to see the only one who would have an answer.

"Clyde?" Asked Molly. "Is Lincoln okay?"

He kept crying without looking at him. Without answering.

They were all eleven years old kids, but they were not fools. Seeing both Lincoln's best friend and his teacher crying was enough. They all accused the blow, some faster than others. Many kept silence, trying to convince themselves that they were getting it wrong. Others started to ask questions that neither Clyde nor Mrs. Johnson was in condition to answer. Some others started to cry as well. Eventually, the teacher managed to get a grip and found the strength she needed to tell them everything she knew. There was no homework that day, no boring themes, no useless stuff they had to learn.

It was the worst class of their lives.

* * *

Lincoln marked down another day in his calendar after a quick morning shower. Counting the current Monday, there were only six white day-boxes left. The other seven were all colored in red, meaning he couldn't take them for granted. Actually, he couldn't take any day left for granted. The doctors had given him an estimation, he could simply die any second now, without notice. And yet…

He checked himself over in his mirror. He remembered that just a couple of days ago he had looked into the mirror and seen the reflection of a stressed, exhausted kid, a face that had aged years in just a few days. He remembered having woken up several times during each night, suffering from nightmares and sleep terrors. Those first nights after receiving his diagnosis had been terrible. It all had changed, he realized, on Friday's early morning.

He had woke up after a new nightmare and walked downstairs, where he had found Luan. They had had a very deep bonding moment, and then they slept together on the couch, tangled in a tight and loving embrace. Lincoln hadn't woke up again during the night. He slept it through like a baby. The same thing happened the next night, this time with Lynn keeping him company in his own room. Luna and Lori's argument had woke them up and Lincoln was extremely nervous after that, but his sister's words and her hugs had eased him and helped him have yet another peaceful night. Exactly the same happened the next time, this time sleeping with Luna in the tent.

He had had four impossible and awful nights, and then three peaceful and beautiful resting nights. It was clear to him that he owe it to his sisters. Their presence helped him to fall asleep. It was a way of feeling safe, loved, being taken care of. That's why, last night, he had laid down on his bed feeling scared for the night. Lucy hadn't taken the initiative to sleep with him, she had instead gone back to her own room and stayed there with Lynn. They didn't even leave there to have dinner. They managed to keep the thin walls from giving away what was going on in their rooms, but Lincoln didn't need to hear them to know that his two sisters were most probably crying together, surrendering to their pain.

It took him a lot of time to fall asleep. He had the idea of going into Lori's room and ask her if he could bunk with her for the night. Lori wouldn't make fun of him. She would have done it without doubting for a second. Lincoln, however, didn't want to bother her with a request so… childish? Could the need of having someone sleeping with him, comforting him through the night be considered childish, giving the circumstances? Whether it was childish or not, Lincoln didn't dare to bother her. He was too embarrassed to ask her. But the possibility was there, and his mind kept him awake for a long time, debating whether he should go and as Lori or not.

Finally, the fatigue overwhelmed him, and Lincoln had to settle with hugging Bun-Bun until falling asleep. And oddly enough, he had once again slept through the whole night like there was nothing wrong. He woke up feeling full of energy. Even before taking a shower he felt like he was ready to face the upcoming day. He found that extremely odd, considering the previous nights. Even more given that he had experienced an incredible emotional wear telling the truth to Lucy. He should have been exhausted, and yet he felt like new.

He had a theory about it.

He dressed himself up and went out of his room… locking the door behind him this time. The rest of his sisters were either getting ready inside their rooms or already having breakfast. He knocked on the first door to his left.

"Lisa. Are you up?" He asked.

He immediately started to hear a lot of sounds. Heavy objects moving, metallic elements bumping into other surfaces. It sounded like a big mess.

"Lisa?" He asked again, this time trying to open the door.

It was locked down. It didn't move in the least. Lincoln cursed internally at the security measures his sister sometimes took. It wasn't normal for her to do that unless she was doing something absolutely forbidden or it was April's Fools.

"Lisa, open the door now," he said, starting to insistently knock on the door.

" _One second!_ "

Hearing her voice relaxed him a little. His foot started to impatiently tap on the floor, as he waited cross-armed in front of the door. Less than a minute later, Lincoln heard a digital sound, and the door was opened.

"You got up early today" Lisa simply said, gazing at him for a few seconds before turning around and going back to her computer. "Your morning dose is right there, you can take it."

"Alright. Speaking of the antidote, do you think that it may…?"

"Incon! Ugh!"

He swiftly turned to face Lily's cradle. His baby sister was standing up, leaning against her cradle walls, looking pleadingly at him. She looked uncomfortable, her face twisted in a painful grimace, and she wouldn't stop swinging her weight from one foot to the other. She started to call him out and doing noises like she was in pain. Lincoln hurriedly came closer to her.

"What's wrong, Lily? Does it hurt you somewh…?"

He had already identified the problem even before lifting her up. He turned his head around to glare at his other sister.

"Lisa! When was the last time you changed Lily's diaper?" He asked, starting to clear up a desk so he could change Lily there.

"I beg your pardon?" She nonchalantly said.

"You are supposed to take care of her until Mom and Lori are ready!" He reproached her, as he did his best to change his baby sister's diaper. "This looks like you didn't even change her after dinner."

"Now that I think of it, that might be true."

He finished changing Lily and took the opportunity to also dress her up, with her tiny blue pants and her lilac shirt. He knew that she would soon get uncomfortable and would get rid of the clothes, deciding to walk around the house only in her diaper, but he had to give it a shot. Once he was done dressing her up, he lifted his sister in his arms and started to gently swing her back and forth. Her happy giggling filling the room.

"Lisa, I can't believe you left her like that all night long."

"I fail to understand why that would cause you to initiate this little ruckus."

"She's. Your. Sister. Your _baby_ sister" he told her, decidedly vexed. "You can't just forget to take care of her!"

"I did not forget her, Lincoln. I was simply occupied doing other things."

"That's not an excuse! There's nothing more important than taking care of your sister!"

"Of course there is" she firmly snapped back, finally turning around to look at him.

The seriousness in her voice stopped Lily's babbling, making the little girl stare at Lisa, sensing that there was something wrong.

"What do you think is more important for her?" Lisa asked. "One night with a dirty diaper or growing up without her brother?"

Lincoln inhaled deeply, hoping that the air could fill that void in his stomach.

"That dirty diaper didn't cause her any pain, any complication, nor it did anything that could be perceived as harmful or noxious. So, do I regret not changing one diaper? No, Lincoln. Not at all. I think it would be convenient to inform you that I will be busy tonight too, so there's a fairly high chance that this situation will be repeated. Because I have my priorities clear."

Lincoln gazed at his sister. She was looking intensively at him, with seriousness but also with her features visibly tense. Like she was doing an effort to keep his face in a neutral expression. He was not amused at all by the fact that Lisa had ignored Lily's needs. She couldn't be that much into her investigation to stop paying attention to her baby little sister. But… Lincoln couldn't stay mad at her. She was a four years old genius trying her best to save her brother. If anything, he was just more worried about her.

He knelt before her.

"Lisa… You don't have to do this" he anxiously told her. "You don't need to feel like it's your responsibility to—"

"Stop" she interrupted him.

"Lisa, I told you, you don't—"

"Stop it!"

Lisa stomped the floor with her right foot and used her hands to rub her eyes under her glasses.

"Don't do that" she pleaded him, putting her arms down and looking at a seemingly interesting stain on the floor. "Not now. I need to work. I can't allow myself to… Just take your dose and go. Let me do this."

She was squeezing her hands so much that her arms were shaking, and she closed her eyes as her head instinctively looked at her right, refusing to meet his eyes. Lily let out a worried babble, while Lincoln just ran out of words.

"Please" added the gifted child after some seconds of silence.

"Lisa..."

Lincoln leaned in closer, raising an arm to place it on her shoulder, but Lisa grabbed his forearm before he could touch her.

"No… Just… Let me do this. Leave me alone. Please. Do it… do it for me."

He wanted to argue. He wanted to convince her that what she was doing was not healthy. That she shouldn't carry all that weight on her shoulders. That he could do it for her, that he would gladly do it for her. But he had already told her that, and she kept going. Besides, her stoic sister was evidently on the verge of breaking down. It was much too obvious.

He sighed, standing up and walking to the nearby table where a little glass filled with a blue liquid was waiting for him. He quickly looked at Lisa just to confirm that that glass was, in fact, the one he had to drink and not a chemical that would make him grow a second head or turn him into a rabbit again. Lisa barely nodded, and Lincoln gulped it down, already used to the flavor. Lily tried to grab the glass, but Lincoln quickly put it away.

Knowing that Lisa wasn't going to tell him anything else, he decided to leave his questions about the side effects of the antidote for the night. He walked away until he was under the door frame. Before closing it, however, he gave one last look at Lisa. His little sister was again standing in front of her computer, using a strange artifact to study a three-dimensional model too complex for Lincoln to understand.

"Lisa" he called her.

She kept working.

"Take care of yourself, alright?" He sadly and resignedly said before closing the door. He ended up leaning against the hall walls, letting out a sigh.

Lily put one of her tiny hands on his face, caressing his cheek.

"Boo boo?" She asked, looking at him with some curiosity but also a tiny bit of worry.

Lincoln smiled at her.

"Yes, Lily, it feels like a boo boo," he told her, embracing her against his chest and enjoying her company.

She chuckled, and her high and soft laugh felt like a beautiful, relaxing sound for Lincoln. And then, taking him by complete surprise, Lily raised her head and gave him a peck on his cheek. He looked at her, his mouth slightly open.

"Boo boo go" she simply said, reaching her arms to hug him again.

She might not have been able to talk, but Lily had her own ways of effectively communicating with her siblings. She knew that Lincoln was sad and hurt, so she tried to cheer him up. Just like she always kissed his boo-boos away, she was now trying to make him feel better.

Two doors opened up on the hall, and soon both Lucy and Luna stepped out of their respective rooms. The two of them were staring at the ground, but they immediately noticed Lincoln. Lucy stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him with her mouth partially opened, while Luna rushed near him.

"Hey bro, how are ya?" She asked, giving him a tight hug. "Is everything okay? Did you sleep well? Do you need some—?"

"I'm okay, Luna" he answered her with a smile, taking a step back to look at her.

"Yeah, right, sorry, it's just… I don't know..."

"Don't worry, it's okay."

She started to stroke his ashen hair, absently messing it up, although he didn't care. In fact, he closed his eyes and slightly tilted his head to enjoy his sister's caresses a bit better. Luna chuckled at the sight.

"You look like Luan's bunny, Gary, when we pet him" she playfully said. "You look happy just like he does."

"It makes me happy to be with you." The words came up from within his heart, without even thinking what he was saying. He opened up his eyes after saying it, trying to see her reaction. Wasn't that a thing a bit too cheesy to say? Luna staring at him with the sincerest smile, though. She looked moved by his words.

"Oh, bro… You're so cute..."

Her smile soon started to tremble, and her eyes were filled with water. Lincoln's smile wavered too, and he once again took a step forward to wrap his free arm around her. Lily started to clap and make happy noises. She loved group hugs.

"I'm sorry, luv," Luna apologized, wiping her tears away with the back of his hand before they fell from her eyes and ruined her makeup. "You should go downstairs and have your breakfast, I'll stay here for a while. I don't want Lola and Lana to see me like this."

"Don't worry about it," he told her. "Today I… I'll tell them."

As the boy, the baby and the wannabe rock star shared a hug, a fourth figure silently approached them, slipping between her two older siblings' arms. Lincoln and Luna leaned back and looked at Lucy. She didn't say anything for a change, she just threw her arms around them, her body slightly more leaned into Lincoln. The older two of the four shared a knowing look and included her in the hug. Lincoln enjoyed every moment of it. He felt surrounded by love, and even though he could detect sadness and uneasiness in his sisters, he mostly felt their happiness of being with him. He would have allowed himself to get lost in the moment, but he had a mission to fulfill that morning, and regardless of how painfully sad it was bound to be, he had to make it. He needed to do it.

"Let's go downstairs, shall we?" He said after a while, knowing that they couldn't keep delaying their breakfast.

His sisters nodded and they all slowly walked down the stairs with Luna resting one arm on Lincoln's shoulder and Lucy holding one of his hands, being so close to him that their shoulders brushed against each other with every step. Lily was still acting like she was the happiest baby in the whole world.

When they reached the bottom, the whole family was already waiting for them. Lincoln's older sisters and his parents were eating in the dining room, as usual. They quickly greeted Lincoln —they seemed to ignore the other girls, but they didn't feel offended at all— and they went to see how he was.

"I'm okay" he assured them after Luan finally let him go off the tight embrace she had locked him in.

"Son" Mr. Loud called him, "are you ready?"

His mother and the rest of his sisters looked at him with worry in their eyes. Lincoln knew what his father was talking about, they had discussed it the day before when they were at Silver Lake, and then they talked about it a bit more at dinner. Lori was also informed of how things were going to unfold from now on. The eldest sister had her eyes fixed on Lincoln with an indecipherable look. He couldn't read it. Was that a grimace of worry, one of sadness, or was she simply resigned? Were those intense eyes sparkling to show him support, or was she mad that he wouldn't let anyone else interfering with what he was about to do?

Nevertheless, Lincoln knew what he had to do. He knew it. After what had happened with Lucy the day before, he had accepted it. And yet…

"Are you ready?" Asked his father one more time.

He took a second to think about his answer, and it was then when he felt Lucy squeezing his hand. He looked at her, and after a brief silence, he sighed.

"No."

He could feel his family's pain at those words.

"I don't think I could ever be ready for it. But I'm still gonna do it."

"I understand. Girls!" Said his father, raising up his voice so he could be heard from the kitchen. "Come here for a second!"

The twins entered the dining room. They were walking three feet away from each other, and they didn't look happy. Their seeming anger suddenly turned into a mix of surprise and confusion when they spotted the whole family standing in the dining room. Lana stopped moving the finger that was poking her nose and raised an eyebrow, while Lola's gaze immediately went to the point where Lucy was holding Lincoln's hand. When she looked up to meet his eyes, she glared at him like he had just broken one of her favorite tiaras.

"What's going on?" Asked Lana.

"Why aren't Lucy or Lincoln having breakfast with us?" Asked Lola too, looking suspiciously at everyone else in the room.

"They just overslept a bit, honey" Rita quickly replied.

"And why weren't we invited to the family reunion?"

"It's not a family reunion, Lola."

"Yes it is," said Mr. Loud.

"Yes it is," Luan quickly corrected herself.

"Girls… None of you will be attending school today."

Not only did the two blonde girls gasp. With the exception of Lori and Leni, none of the other knew about the decision their parents had made.

"No school?" Asked both twins at the same time, clearly excited, before letting out a sharp squeal.

"I can go to the mall to buy me a new dress!"

"I can check out the trash bins before the trash truck passes!"

The twins started to list out loud all the wonderful things they could do with their unexpected school free day, letting their imagination fly limitless, eventually reaching a point where they imagined how they could all take a plane to some exotic places. So immersed they were in their fantasies that they didn't pay any attention to what the older sisters were saying.

"Is it true?" Asked Lynn "We're not going to school today?"

"You won't have to go until…" Rita cleared her throat and did her best to keep her eyes from diverting towards Lincoln. "You can go back whenever you want. Whenever you feel ready to go back."

Sensing that it was all about to become too emotional to handle in the dining room, Lincoln quickly let go Lucy's hand —who wasn't really happy to let him go—, gave Lily to his mother and looked at the rest of the family. The whole family, except for the twins, behind him, and Lisa, who was locked inside her room.

"We'll have time. I'll make sure to have time with you all" he assured them, looking at each and every one of them in the eyes. "But right now I need some alone time with just them."

No one said anything. No one even nodded. They just kept staring at him. Lincoln sighed, getting himself ready for what was about to come. His right hand briefly touched his stomach, but even though he had just woken up, he wasn't hungry. The anxiety wouldn't let him eat. He could skip breakfast. He decided to bury all his worries. He needed to look happy, at least for now.

"Hey, guys?" He said, stepping next to the twins with the warmest smile he could fake.

The two of them stopped their rambling and looked at him. Lana was smiling, but Lola seemed to be looking at him like she was slightly annoyed.

"Wanna go to the park with me?" He asked.

"Ugh, hard pass" Lola scornfully said. "I'd rather go to the mall, thank you."

"I'm sorry, Lincoln. I can go to the park whenever I want, I should use this time to do things I normally couldn't" Lana excused herself.

Having already finished their breakfast, the two girls started to walk away, walking by his side. However, Lincoln stretched out his arms to keep them from leaving.

"What are you doing?" Lola asked.

Lincoln knelt so he was eye level with his little sisters. He was looking straight forward, biting his lower lip.

"Are you okay?" Asked Lana.

"What about if I buy you some ice-creams, uh?" He offered, smiling at them.

The two girls shared a look before smiling mischievously.

"Deal," they said in unison.

Finally, Lincoln's fake smile became real, his grin also showing in his eyes. He could sacrifice some money for them. It wasn't like he was going to need it, anyway.

"Alright, let's go then," he told them, standing up.

"Son, do you want me to—?"

"Don't worry, dad" Lincoln quickly said. "I don't want you to be late for work."

Lynn Sr nodded in silence. Lincoln walked out of the house, escorted on each side by his two little sisters. They were walking on the sidewalk, and when they finally got away enough from the house so no one in the family could see them, Lola hastily and roughly grabbed Lincoln's hand. He was surprised by the sudden and rough movement and stared at her.

She didn't look as happy as she had just been inside the house when he promised them ice-creams. Now she was looking ahead, pretending that it wasn't a big deal for her, but Lincoln took notice of the clenched jawbones and her slightly blushed cheeks. When he kept staring at him with a dumb smile, Lola finally glared at him through the corner of her eyes.

"Is something wrong, Lincoln?" She asked, without looking at him directly.

He chuckled.

"Nope. None at all."

He used his other hand to grab Lana's. The little plumber wasn't expecting that, but after a warm smile from her brother, her face lightened up and she let him guide her.

They didn't speak that much during the whole walk to the park, but their smiles shone as bright as ever.

* * *

"Harder, Lola, push me harder!" Lana encouraged her sister as she laughed, reaching greater heights after every swing.

"My arms are getting tired, jump now!" Complained the girl wearing the pink dress, as she kept pushing the swing everytime it got near her.

"Alright! Three! Two! One! WIIIIII!"

Lana jumped at the highest point and fell on her foot. She stumbled a few steps, but she managed to stop herself before she could fall face first into a puddle of mud. When she finally gained stability, she raised her arms in the air and let out a victory yell.

"Nice jump, Lana!" Lincoln congratulated her from a bench, smiling. "That's definitely a ten!"

"My turn, my turn!" Said Lola, already sitting on the swing.

Lana ran behind her and started to push her, the two of them being watched by Lincoln as he tasted his ice cream. After getting to the park, his sisters and he had enjoyed playing in the slides and chasing each other across the park. As soon as the food stand opened, however, the girls had reclaimed their ice creams, even though they had had breakfast less than an hour ago. Lincoln had no choice but to buy three ice creams and they all sat on a bench to eat. He was actually more interested in talking with them than eating, that's why they had finished their ice creams so much faster than him.

He asked them a lot of questions. He asked Lola about her beauty pageants. After receiving her ice cream, she seemed to relax a bit, and she no longer seemed to be jealous of Lucy holding Lincoln's hand. She was more than willing to talk about her favorite topic: herself. She took her time to talk about all the gossips she had accumulated behind the curtains. She also answered with enthusiasm when he asked about the best beauty techniques. It was then Lana's turn, and she couldn't believe Lincoln was actually interested in asking about each and every one of her pets.

He was now sitting alone on the bench, simply enjoying watching them play. They looked so happy and innocent. Just what he wanted. He had given this a lot of thought, he wanted to take them to a place where they could all have some fun. He wanted to have one last image of them smiling without any worries before breaking the news to them. He wanted to share a moment of innocent and sincere happiness with them before it all changed forever.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he decided to check on it, thinking that maybe it was one of his sisters wondering how they were doing. He put the ice cream away from his mouth when he saw he had a message from Liam.

 _Lincoln, I've just found out, I'm so sorry…_

He kept staring at the screen. The school knew about his condition since Friday. He knew that it was just a matter of time before all his classmates found out about it. He quickly received another message, this time from Mollie.

 _OMG Lincoln, I can't believe it :'( I didn't know, I thought you just had the flue or something :'c_

Curious, Lincoln thought. He couldn't remember Mollie ever talking to him in class unless it was absolutely necessary.

A torrent of messages started to flood his phone, without giving him any time to read them all. He simply saw as the conversations started to overlap with each other, each one of his classmates writing him, and soon he started to receive messages from other kids in his school, kids that weren't his friends. He also received a message from Cristina, who swore to him that she hadn't said anything. At this rate, he thought, the whole school would soon know about the fifth-grade kid that was about to die.

Would they remember him for that? Would they remember him at all?

He also received a message from Ronnie Anne, confirming him that the teachers had told their classes about him. Lincoln thought about Ronnie Anne. He hadn't talk with her since Saturday afternoon when he had left Clyde and her to go to Tabby's house as a part of his plan to fix everything with Luna. He should've called her the day before, but between going to the lake with his father and everything that had happened with Lucy, he hadn't even thought about it. He decided that he would call her that same night. So they could at least talk with each other. Maybe they could decide when they could hang out.

All those messages reminded him the reason why he was there in the first place. Why he had taken his sisters to the park. He looked up, just in time to witness the disaster.

"Lana, don't push me so fast!" Complained Lola, holding tightly the swing ropes, her eyes filled with terror.

"Are you kidding me? You're even higher than I was! Jump now!" Lana encouraged her, pushing with more strength every time.

"I'm going too fast! I can't do it!"

"Just jump!"

"I want to slow down!"

"DO IT!"

Lola closed her eyes and jump at the highest point. She flew almost exactly like Lana. She hit the ground almost in the same way too, stumbling. But unlike her twin, Lola was wearing a long dress that got entangled with her feet, and she fell straight into the mud.

Lincoln threw what was left of his ice cream to the ground and ran to see his younger sister.

"Lola! Are you hurt?" He asked, lifting her from the mud and helping her to sit down on the ground. She seemed to be in shock. She was staring at her dress, now completely stained by mud. Even worse, by stomping on her dress and then falling forward, she had overstretched the delicate fabric, which had torn itself apart around her knees, creating a big gash that showed part of her legs.

"My… my dress," she said, touching the fabric right where it was ruined.

"Lola… Don't worry, okay? We'll get Leni to fix it" Lincoln assured her, putting a hand over his little sister's shoulder.

She looked at his eyes, getting ready to cry.

"Are you alright? That was a hard fall" said Lana, slowly walking near her twin.

Lola moved her head to look at her and gave Lana the most frightening stare Lincoln had ever seen. Even Ace Savvy would have been terrified by it.

"This is all your fault!" She yelled, standing up and stomping her way to her sister. "I told you, you were being too rough!"

"What? But… but you fell alright! You jumped exactly like I did!" Lana complained, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You pushed me too strong! I told you I didn't want to do it and you made me! And now… And now my favorite dress is ruined!"

Lola had silently started to shed some tears, and Lincoln could see how afflicted and slightly guilty Lana looked about what had happened.

"Well… Well, maybe you shouldn't wear a dress if you're coming to the park!" She said, however.

"Oh, right, we should all just look like dirty homeless persons all the time!"

"Lola!" Lincoln yelled at her, trying to intervene after seeing Lana's face. She was clearly hurt by her sister's words. The girl quickly changed her attitude.

"Well, you should try it sometime! Maybe if you could step out of your imaginary carriage and you stop acting like you are so much better than the rest of us, then... then maybe you'd had friends!"

"Lana!" Lincoln scolded her, giving her an angry look.

"Well, if I have to be as disgusting as you to have friends, then maybe I'd rather not have any!"

"No one would like to be your friend anyway! You're unbearable!"

"And you're insensitive!"

"I hate it when you are like this!"

"And I hate when you act like a savage!" Cried out Lola, wiping her tiny tears from her eyes. "Sometimes… Sometimes I wish I didn't have a twin!"

It was like a bomb had exploded right next to them. Lincoln had never been close to anything like that, but he had seen movies. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion like they were all paralyzed. He could ever hear that ear ringing sound, a constant and annoying sound that in this case was basically all the background noise of the park. The kids laughing, the wind blowing through the trees, the cars driving down the nearby streets. All of them noises that were suddenly just a nuisance, a background that seemed to be there only so they could realize that time had not actually stopped. Lincoln was slack-jawed, unable to move a muscle, his eyes fixed on his sisters. Lola was glaring at Lana the way she would glare at someone who would wear sandals and socks.

Lana's face, meanwhile, was enough to break Lincoln's heart. She looked without understanding, perhaps believing that she had misheard. But as the seconds slowly passed by, she seemed to realize that her ears were working just fine. Her first reaction was to start to silently cry, with tears slowly falling from her eyes in two small trails, a thin stream of salty water. Her arms and legs started to tremble, doing their best to keep her standing.

Her second reaction was to jump right onto Lola, throwing her to the ground.

Lincoln had witnessed countless fights between his sisters, especially between the twins. They spend half of the time doing absolutely everything together like there was nothing in the world that could separate them, and the other half they fought over the most trivial things. Lincoln had never seen them fighting like that, though. They were aiming to hurt. They were not holding any punches.

Lincoln looked around him. People in the park were staring at them. Many mothers were grabbing their kids hands and took them away, not wanting to expose them to such levels of violence. His ten sisters always called the "sisters fight protocol", where they simply stepped away from any kind of conflict, letting the involved sisters resolve their differences on their own time. They all seemed to believe that it worked, but Lincoln didn't understand it.

He had his own protocol.

"Alright, that's it!"

Knowing very well that he was exposing himself to become collateral damage, Lincoln walked into the whirlwind that his sisters had become. Making use of a strength that could be expected more from Lynn rather than him, he managed to separate them. He put his open palms on each of their foreheads, to keep them from running straight into each other again.

"Stop it!" He yelled, doing his best effort to stop them.

"I hate you!"

"I hate you!"

"ENOUGH!"

Lincoln's yell ended up driving away the rest of the kids in the park, but it mostly served to immediately silence his sisters. The two of them stopped fighting and yelling at each other, looking at him terrified, like they were afraid that he would hurt them. Their frightened faces didn't calm him down at all. He grabbed them by their wrist, a little tighter than he needed to, and quickly dragged them somewhere else where they wouldn't be bothered.

"I just wanted to have some quality time with you two" he started to mutter through gritted teeth, walking fast with the two girls trying to keep up with him. "I wanted to see you having some fun, laughing, enjoying this day. And you couldn't even grant me that."

"Lincoln… what are you saying?" Asked a worried Lola.

"Where are we going?" Wondered Lana.

"Somewhere we don't scare people away from the park. In case you didn't notice, your little show ruined the day to a lot of kids."

Since he was looking forward, he couldn't see his sisters faces, but their voices were clearly tainted with fear.

"We didn't… We… You're overreacting..."

He finally found a good spot, a place no one would bother them.

"Sit down."

He was aware that he had sounded like his father. His body posture, his tone, his attitude. His sisters obeyed right away, more out of fear than respect. Lincoln started to walk in circles in front of them. He was furious, so he wanted to think his words carefully because if he talked the first thing that came to his mind, he might ending up hurting them. And that was definitely not his intention.

"I love you."

He said it out of nowhere. He simply stopped, sighed, and told them that, without even looking at them. Then he did turn around and saw how they were both sitting on the ground, two feet away from each other. They had this little tear trails on their cheeks, and they were looking at him with confused eyes. He was mad, yes, but he still had a heart, and see them like that softened him up. He knelt before them and then he carefully and tenderly started to wipe their cheeks.

"You two and the rest of the girls are what I love the most in this world. I'm givi… I mean, I would give it all for you. Everything. I know I hadn't been the perfect brother, I know I've been selfish and that I've made you guys angry a lot of times. But I love you with all my heart."

"We love you too," they said at the same time, in a low voice and looking away.

"I know. I know that you love me, and I know that even though we have had troubles before, we are always looking out for each other."

"What are you trying to say?"

"That I don't understand how can you two be always looking for excuses to fight" he answered, looking disappointed at them. "You fight over the most stupid things."

Lola moved uncomfortable in her place.

"We're not the only ones who fight…"

"No, you're not. Lynn and Lucy usually fight, but only when they run out of patience. Lori and Leni have a fight every now and then, but in their twisted feminine logic, their fights always have some kind of sense. And whenever one of you girls gets into a fight with me, most of the time that's because I did something to deserve it. But you two? You fight over nothing. It's like you enjoy being mad at each other. You don't even try to fix it before it escalates. And I'm afraid that as you grow up, your fights will be getting more and more serious. You have to… You need to learn to resolve your problems in a peaceful way, to keep them from happening in the first place because you can't… you can't count on me to make everything better! I'm not gonna be here forever to solve your differences!"

Lola and Lana looked at each other for a second after their brother's words, but their eyes quickly dropped to their laps. Lola's fingers started to touch the gash on her dress, sadly caressing her exposed legs.

"Lana" Lincoln started, looking severely at her, "you shouldn't have forced her to jump. You know she's not as used to rough playing like you are. You can't force her to do things she doesn't want to. And what you said about her not having friends was a very mean thing to say. Lola has a lot of friends, and people love her for who she is. You shouldn't have said that."

Lana took his red cap and started to squeeze it with her nervous hands, partially hiding her face behind it, ashamed of what she said.

"And Lola" he continued, looking at the other girl, "you know as much as I do that she didn't want you to be hurt, and what happened to your dress was an accident. She just wanted to have fun with you, even if the game turned out to be a little too dangerous for you. But nothing can justify what you said. She's your sister, your twin, and what you said was terrible."

Lola couldn't look him in the eye.

"Are you… are you mad at me?" She weakly asked, pressing her knees against her chest.

"No" Lincoln hurriedly said. "I'm just a little disappointed. Look, I know you didn't mean it, that it was something you said in the heat of the moment. But, Lola, you can't say that. You just can't. Family… Family is the most important thing. More than anything, more than everything else. You've been together since before you were born, you can't be fighting like this. You're playing with fire. One of these days one of your fights will go out of control and..."

He sat in front of them, suddenly exhausted, having lost his initial energy.

"Guys, you can't take family for granted" he lamented. "On the contrary. We're so many siblings, and we're so used to each other that we don't realize it, but we should be grateful that we have each other. Every day, we should be thankful that we have such a big, loving family that will always be there for us."

He didn't have enough time to react. His little sisters jumped right into his arms, resting their heads on his shoulders.

"We're sorry, Lincoln!" They both said, embracing him with all their strength.

He enjoyed the hug. He wrapped his arms around their waists and held her tight against him, closing his eyes.

After breaking away from the hug, Lincoln sat with his legs crossed on the ground, and both girls sitting on his thighs. The two of them apologized to each other. They admitted they had overreacted, that the things they had said weren't true, that they hadn't meant it. They sealed their reconciliation with a loving sisters hug. That's exactly what Lincoln wanted to see. What he wanted to remember.

"Can we go back to play?" Asked Lana, looking at her older brother.

"Actually… Let's stay here. There's something I need to tell you" he said, as he gently stroked their backs.

Lola and Lana stared at him, slightly confused. It was hard for Lincoln to be this close to them, with those two pairs of bright, innocent eyes looking at him with interest. Lost in his own face, reflected in his sisters' pupils, he wondered how other people did this. Surely there were thousands of people in the world in his same situation, having to say goodbye to their loved ones. He wondered where did they find the strength needed to do so, how could they do it without breaking down.

And then he remembered everything that he had tried to explain to Luna. Sometimes, you just got to let it hurt.

He had troubles starting, though. It was obvious that even if he knew what he had to say, even though he understood it was something necessary, he simply couldn't find the courage to do it.

"Are you going to tell us why is everyone sad?" Asked Lola, almost in a whisper.

Lincoln wasn't expecting that. He let out a big sigh.

"You figured it out?"

"We don't know what it is" Lana explained, also speaking in an undertone, "but everyone's been acting weird lately."

"Yeah, no one ever tells us anything whenever we make noise or we're fighting. Except for you."

"And they're getting into a lot of troubles. Lynn..."

"Luna..."

"Lucy..."

"Lisa's not coming out of her room…"

"Luan isn't making new puppet shows for us anymore..."

"Yesterday I asked Leni to borrow some makeup and she didn't say anything..."

"And Lori is coming into our rooms every night" Lana finally said. "She wishes us good night and tucks us in."

"She had stopped doing that when we were four" added Lola.

"And mom and dad..."

"Yeah, they're acting weird too. Mom is working all day in her room. She's not helping me comb my hair before ballet classes."

"And dad's always tired, he doesn't want to help me fix Vanzilla's motor."

Lincoln felt like he was swallowing a heavy ball of guilt. He thought they wouldn't notice anything. They were kids, but there were evidently not blind. Of course, they realized there was something wrong. Something very wrong. It also hurt him to find out about those little details, like Luan didn't play with them like she used to, or that Lori was tucking them in at night. Lincoln realized he wasn't aware of just how much his approaching death was affecting his loved ones.

Just like none of them seemed to understand how much he himself was suffering.

"Do you know what's going on?" Lana asked him.

Lincoln snapped back to reality. He wasn't there to grief about himself. He was there because he needed to tell them the truth.

"Yes. I know. But before I tell you… I want to apologize."

The two girls exchanged a look for a second, before looking back at him, tilting their heads a little to the side.

"Why for?" Asked Lola.

"Because it's my fault you don't know what's going on."

His sisters frowned.

"Your fault?"

"I asked everyone not to tell you anything."

"What?!" Said the two at the same time, slightly angry at his words.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to know. But you need to know."

"What's going on?"

He stroked their backs again, trying to ease them.

"You see, I… Remember when I was in the hospital?" He told them, after clearing his throat, doing a great effort to keep himself from breaking down.

"Well, yeah, duh, that was last week," said Lola, like it was a dumb question.

Lana didn't say anything. She just squinted her eyes, looking at him.

"Well… Let's say that… They did some test on me and they… They found..."

Was it necessary to explain the whole tumors deal? If he did, then he would have to take some time to explain to them that it had not been Lynn's fault, that she had actually saved his life. He had just found out that he shouldn't underestimate his sisters just for their age, but even so, would they be able to understand the details of his condition?

If anything, they could ask their parents about it when they were older. When they were ready. If they ever wanted to know.

"They found out that I'm sick. My heart is sick."

Their reaction was immediate. They raised their eyebrows, their jaws dropped a little. He saw them rapidly blinking, trying to understand.

"Your…?"

"...heart?"

"Yes. It's, uh… It's not healthy. It has some problems, and… uh… soon… in about a week, it won't be able to work anymore" he saw and heard how they sharply inhaled, "and when that happens… I'm… I'm… going to d-die."

Just a second after he said it, he felt a twitching pain in his eyes, needing to blink fast several times to keep himself together. It was as terrible and as painful as he had imagined it would be. Maybe even a little more, because they didn't react like he thought they would. He imagined that they would start to cry right away. That they would be weeping uncontrollably, and that he would be there to comfort them. He would cry with them, he would be there just like he had been with Lucy the day before, or with Luna the day before that one. He would hug them until they would fall asleep like he had done with Luan. He thought he was ready for it.

But nothing could have prepared him for their reaction.

"It's not funny, Lincoln," said Lola, the words coming out slow from her mouth.

"I'm not… I'm not kidding."

"Don't say that," said Lana too, slowly shaking her head, her eyes fixed on her brother. "Why would you say those things?"

"If you're trying to teach us a lesson to stop fighting each other, you're doing an awful job!" Yelled Lola, through her shallow rapid breathing. "You don't know how to do it!"

"Girls… It's the truth."

"That's a lie and you know it!" Complained Lola again, moving off his thigh and standing right next to him, looking at him with utter anger.

"Lola..."

"No! You're fine!" She interrupted him. "You're fine and you'll stay fine! Don't say those ugly things!"

"You can't… You can't be sick" said Lana, who was still sitting on her brother's thigh. She didn't look angry like Lola, she was simply confused. "The doctors let you go home."

"Exactly! She's right!" Lola quickly said, furiously nodding. "The doctor wouldn't let you go if there was something wrong with you! You're with us, so you're fine! Stop lying!"

"I'm not lying. I'm really sick. I swear I'm telling the truth."

Lola closed her eyes and violently shook her head from side to side.

"But… But if you're sick you need to get back to the hospital! They'll fix you!"

"They let me go because there's nothing they can do. They can't save me."

Lana was staring at Lincoln's face. Simply staring at him.

"N-No... They… They fix people" Lola kept saying, taking a step closer to her brother. "When you're sick you go to the doctors, so they tell you what's wrong and they cure you. That's their job. They get paid to cure people!"

"Sometimes they can't save everyone, Lola" Lincoln regretfully explained. "They couldn't save me."

"Well, they will!" She yelled at him, getting close enough to grab him by the neck of his shirt, and then she started to shake him. "I'm taking you to the hospital right now, and they'll cure you! You – can't – die!"

He put one on his hands on top of Lola's to stop her shaking him.

"I'm sorry Lola but… I can."

"No… No, you can't" she complained, wrinkling her little nose and blinking to contain her tears. "You can't."

"Why not?"

"B-Be… Because you're my brother" she said, as the first tear escaped her eyelids.

"Old people die" softly said Lana, still looking at Lincoln with innocent eyes. Unlike Lola's —where the tears were reflecting light, making them shine like there was a little flame dancing inside—, Lana's eyes seemed to have lost all brightness, like life was taken away from them. "Like Hannah's grandma. You… You're not… old. You're younger than Lori. Younger than dad. Y-You… you can't..."

Her mouth kept moving, but no words were coming out from her mouth. It was like her throat was choking, fighting for air, unable to speak, too scared to do it. By now, Lincoln's defenses had been already taken to the limit, and his orange shirt was starting to soak on his tears. Lola's crying had also begun, and the mask on her eyelashes was slowly falling down her cheeks, branching into irregular shapes like a drop of black ink falling into a glass of water.

"Please, tell me you're lying" she begged, panting. "I swear I won't be mad. I'll never be mad at you again. I won't yell at you. I'll let you read your comics in your underwear anytime you want, but please, tell me this isn't true. Please."

Lincoln still had his hand on top of hers. He gently squeezed her hand, and Lola immediately knelt right next to him, following the movement he was subtly hinting. Once she was a little lower than eye level with him, Lincoln raised his hand and fixed Lola's blonde tuft. He couldn't answer her. He couldn't say anything, but he didn't need to. His silence was enough.

"Please" she repeated, with her tears now reaching her lips. "Don't do this to me. Don't go."

"There's nothing I can do, Lola" he apologized, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"No… No… You got to get better. You… You need to get better. I'll make a tea party for you" she cried, closing her eyes. "You'll be the honored guest, and you'll have the best cup. And all the girls will be invited, and… and we'll all laugh… And you can eat as many cookies as you want..."

"Lola..."

"We planted a tree" Lana suddenly said.

He looked at his other sister.

"It's our tree" she continued. "It's gonna grow. We'll make our house there, so you can read your comics and I can play with my toys, and we'll be happy. It'll… it'll be there forever."

"That's exactly why I asked you to take care of it, Lana," he said.

And Lincoln knew that was the precise moment when Lana understood. He saw it in her eyes. He saw how her pupils widened, and he also saw something breaking up inside her, like a fragile crystal shattering into a million pieces. Lana gasped, and she brought a hand to her chest like she was trying to check her breathing, or like she had been stabbed. Her face twisted into the most precise and eloquent expression of horror that Lincoln had ever witnessed. A visual reference that any artist would kill to have, but one that Lincoln wished he never had to see.

After the initial shock of understanding faded away, Lana's reaction was quick to appear.

"No… No, no, no, no, Lincoln… You can't… die" she told him, quickly starting to cry. "We've… We have to take care of the tree!"

"I know you'll be able to do it, Lana."

"You p-promised me y-y-you would buy me a dress when I finally get to win the Little Miss America Pageant," said Lola, her weeping making it hard for Lincoln to understand her. "You promised m-me you w-would be at my wedding. You were going to help me with the hair."

"You'll find someone better than me to..."

"NO!" Screamed Lola, shaking her head so violently that her tiara fell to the ground.

"Don't say that!" Complained Lana, starting to hit him in the chest with her closed fists. "Don't say it!"

"There's no one better than you! You're my brother! I'm… I'm… I'm your princess! You can't leave me alone!"

"I had to… to bury many pets" said Lana, as she stopped hitting him and opting instead to close her hands on his shirt, messing it up. "I don't like it. It's not pretty. I don't… I don't want to bury you."

"I need you to help me practice my ribbon dance—"

"I need you to help me train Charles—"

"...hug me when I'm afraid—"

"...color my drawings—"

"...watch movies with us—"

"...stories from when we were younger—"

They were talking at the same time, overlapping with each other, not letting Lincoln getting what they were saying. But he didn't need to listen to each of their words to understand what they were trying to say. The communication was clear, even without the words. Lincoln didn't have the strength to ask them to calm down. He just wrapped his arms around them and embraced his sisters, bringing them closer to him. The two of them let him did as he pleased, pressing their soaked and mask stained cheeks so hard against his chest to leave an imprint of their faces on his shirt.

They kept talking to him until the crying overwhelmed them. They couldn't talk anymore, the only sounds that could escape their mouths were groans and gasps of pain, that added to the sound of their shallow and rapid breathing created the saddest symphony ever. The minutes passing by didn't seem to help them reduce their grief. On the contrary, the pain got worse. They were yelling like they had been set on fire. They twisted against his chest, staining his polo with everything that came out of their eyes, mouths, and noses.

Eventually, however, their throats and lungs couldn't keep up with their feelings, so the intensity of their lament decreased a little. Lincoln, who wasn't precisely serene neither, tightened his grip on them and seized the moment to talk with them.

"I'm sorry I can't fulfill all my promises," he told them, quickly kissing their heads. "I wish I could do them all, and much more too. But even dead, I'll never leave you alone. I'll look after you from wherever I may be. I'll follow you wherever you go, and I'll be always protecting you."

"W-We need you..." they said in unison.

"And I'll always be there for you whenever you need me. When you don't know what to do, I'll be the voice inside your head, advising you" he explained, trying to smile even if they couldn't see it. Maybe they could at least feel it. "Whenever you need a caress, I'll be the blowing wind, tousling your hairs and whispering an 'I love you' in your ears. I'll be the Sun waking you up every morning, and the pigeons and butterflies that come to greet you. But most of all..."

He broke away from the hug just enough to look at them in the eye. He carefully contemplated them both. They had different hairstyles. One was wearing a red cap, the other one had lost her tiara. One was wearing every-weather clothes, the other one an elegant —although stained and gashed— dress. One had makeup all over her cheeks, the other one didn't.

And even so, her cryings were identical. Their tears were falling parallel to each others. Their pain was just as terrible.

"...no matter how much time passes, where life takes you… No matter how many people you may meet, how many people you may fall in love with… no matter what you do, you can always remember me as your big brother, the one who loved you more than anyone else in this world."

To say that his words reassured them would be an exaggeration. There was nothing that words could really make to ease the pain they were both suffering deep inside their hearts, their soul. It was a sadness that was simply impossible to cover. The pain had ingrained itself in their hearts, and it was there to stay. It wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. It might never leave them.

But even with all that pain, their hearts still had room for other emotions, like love. When Lincoln finished telling them those beautiful words and embraced them again, they could feel all the love he was giving away for them. A warm feeling that was surrounding them, that flooded them from the inside like a cup of hot chocolate on a winter morning. A soft and invisible hug to their hearts. An emotion that was just as big as the pain. The pain, precisely, originated directly from the immense love they felt for their brother. Two completely opposite emotions that were still closely related to each other. They were both there, and even though they were too young to understand it on a rational level, they instinctively knew that it wasn't about an emotion overpowering the other, pushing it out of their hearts.

Their hearts held both emotions. They were shared, they were both there to stay. It was up to them to decide which were they going to allow themselves to be lost into.

They spend the rest of the morning crying on Lincoln's chest, but their tears were no longer tinted with sour pain; they were instead saturated with the bittersweet taste of the purest and unconditional love they had ever known: the love for their brother.

* * *

.

.

 _Now I really am happy with how this chapter turned out. I liked writing it._

 _But now… I don't know how to say this without spoiling anything…_

 _Well, the whole family knows it now. His death is no longer a secret. Lincoln has had a lot of time with his sisters, and he has taught most of them valuables lessons. I've given you 18 chapters that, I hope, you have all enjoyed. Over 160K words. Many tears were shed. And… we're close to the end._

 _Like, closer than you can possibly imagine._

 _Next chapter will be the most special. You may be surprised. You may hate me._

 _It'll come sooner than you expect since it's a cap I know by heart. I've been thinking and thinking about it, writing it over and over in my head for a long time. It will also come with an announce that, given the circumstances, clearly deserves to be posted with the next chapter. I wouldn't want to post it in any other chapter._

 _My eternal thanks to all of you. I appreciate you've come with me so far in this long journey._

 _Thank you so much._


	19. APRIL FOOLS

_._

 ** _WARNING:  
This chapter was publishe on April Fules as a joke.  
Everything from this point forward is just a prank played  
upon the readers. This should not be taken seriously._**

 _._

 _Good morning/afternoon/night! I just have one thing to say: it's here. It's finally here. Here it is. This is it._

 _This is a day I've been waiting for eight months. Eight months of hard work, eight months with several sleepless nights so I could finish the translation on time. Eight months of checking in my head the plot over and over again, along with it's side stories, the redaction, the grammar, the chapter's structure. Eight amazing months, in which I've met wonderful people, and I've made some great friends._

 _Eight months. Nineteen chapters. Almost 200K words._

 _Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honor, the privilege, the pleasure of presenting you **Requiem for a Loud's final chapter**. There won't be an epilogue, no continuation, no sequel, no spin-offs. This is it. The final chapter of a story I've both loved and hated._

 _This is my ending. It was clear right from the go. A perfect ending, the only logical way to go for me. Just like you, I also had to think whether I wanted him to live or to die. Both options had their appeal. Their good points. Their strengths, their weakness. So I had to find a middle point, something that had the best of both options, and I am super proud of the resolution I found. I think this finale is as epic as this story deserves._

 _This months I've been asked a lot of times if I was inspired by any personal experience to write this story. And it makes me uncomfortable to admit that I've been lying. I've made you guys believe that I didn't, that nothing in my life had inspired me to do this. But the truth is that Lincoln and I have more in common than most of you probably imagine. I've lived through him, I've related to this wonderful character created by Chris Savino. And… Well, I don't want to get you on the feels train before the cap even starts. I'm gonna tell you about this in the end notes. By that point, you'll heart will be aching so hard that a new feel attack won't really affect you._

 _There are so many things I'd like to say… So many things to be grateful for… So much to explain…_

 _But sometimes you need to be direct._

 _Ladies and gentlemen, please be welcome to the last chapter. Enjoy it!_

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 19: Requiem for a Loud**

 **.**

The Loud house was never the same after that Monday morning.

It had all changed a week before, when the doctors had diagnosed Lincoln. His parents were the first to find out, followed close by the older sisters. Something had undoubtedly changed that day. The status quo had forever been altered, permanently. It was like the flame, that mystic and powerful energy that fed all family members had ran out of oxygen. The atmosphere never got to be the same inside those walls. The noise was not the same, the chaos was not as much, the happiness had evaporated.

However, not all had been lost. Following Lincoln's wishes, the younger sisters didn't find out right away what was going on. He preferred to keep them in the dark about it for a while, to protect them all from the dark truth. They were not ready to take the news, and he was not ready to deliver them.

Whether it had been the right choice or not was up to debate. The truth, however, was that keeping four sisters from finding the truth —three after Lisa found out by her own means—, the rest of the family had been forced to keep up a facade. A masquerade. They had to look happy, to act like they would usually act when they were near them. And that act kept alive the soft flame for another week. On the inside, they were all feeling like a withered rose, but on the outside they were as alive and happy as ever. Their little lie had kept the energy running high for a little bit more time.

After Lucy and the twins found out, though, there was no need for an act. That Monday, when Lincoln finally told the twins the truth, the atmosphere on the house changed drastically. The flame that had lost its warmth was finally consumed, turned off forever. The Loud house became just a poor mirage of what it had once been. All the family members were now dwelling in their grief and sorrow, and they didn't need to pretend that they were okay anymore.

Lincoln realized that the very first moment he arrived home from the park.

As soon as he and the twins opened the door and stepped inside, Lincoln knew that the house he had known no longer existed. At least, not right then. Suffice to say that when he got home he thought the whole family had gone out. That silence was alien to a house with eight people inside it. Soon, however, he found that almost all his sisters —except for Lisa— were laying on the living room couch.

They spend almost the entire day there. Lincoln, still affected by how hard it had been to tell his little sisters the truth, had neither the strength or the energies he needed to talk with them or to ask them to do something together. Slyly, he left the twins on the living room and then he went to his own room to think.

He started to wonder what had he done to deserve all that.

* * *

No one called him. No one went to check on him. He didn't even receive any messages from Clyde. He wasn't worried about his friend, to be honest. Clyde had texted him a lot when he was with his little sisters in the park, and he hadn't answered him, so it was understandable that maybe Clyde had desisted on his efforts to contact him. What he really was worried about was that his older sisters had completely changed their attitude in just a couple of hours. They had been depressed before, yes, but now it was like someone had completely broken them.

After dinner, Lincoln waited for his sisters to go to the bathroom to get ready for sleep. All of them were locked in four square meters, fighting each other for makeup, applying masks on themselves and trying to grab the tooth paste. All of them except for one, who had been smart enough to get ready before everyone else, so she didn't have to deal with that hecatomb.

Very carefully, Lincoln knocked on her door. He didn't touched the door knob, knowing that the security system could electrocute him.

" _Come on in_ " said a voice from inside.

He slowly opened the door and went inside his sister's room. One of the beds was empty, with its owned too busy in the bathroom, probably brushing her hair exactly fifty times so she could have the perfect coiffure. On the other bed, Lori was laying down, facing up at the ceiling, staring at it like it was the dome of the Sistine Chapel.

When she moved her head and saw Lincoln, she quickly sat up, suddenly tense.

"Lincoln" she said, staring at him as her breathing became agitated.

He didn't like when his sisters did that. It was like they were staring at a ghost, not their brother.

"How are you? Are you okay? Do you need to…?"

"I'm okay, Lori" he interrupted her, sounding slightly pissed off. "You do know you don't have to treat me like I'm already on my deathbed, right?"

Lori looked positively impacted by those words. She looked at him for several seconds, not knowing what to say. Finally, she sighed and looked away from him. She didn't look happy.

"I'm sorry" she said, anyway. "It wasn't my intention."

"It's okay, I understand that… I mean, I know… Forget about it."

Brother and sister remained in the same room, looking in opposite directions, not knowing how to break the awkward silence that had surrounded them. When they felt like they couldn't keep ignoring each other, the two of them tried to talk at the same time, their words running over each other's.

"Why did you come…?"

"Why's everyone…?"

Their smiles returned to their faces, and they giggled at the funny situation.

"You first" Lori said, patting the spot right next to her on her bed. Lincoln walked there and sat net to his sister.

"I noticed that, since I came home today, all of you seem to be more cheerless than before I left" he commented, going straight to the point. "Did something happen?"

Lori's shaking sigh immediately confirmed him that something had definitely happened.

"Yes. Yes, something… something happened."

"What?"

Lori started to slowly shake her head. She closed her eyes, like she didn't want to see the episode in her mind.

"Lisa", she finally said.

"Lisa?" Repeated Lincoln, feeling the blood running away from his face, leaving him probably as pale as Lucy. "What happened to her?"

"She had this… this major breakdown. We started to hear screams and stuff crashing against the walls, and when we got to her room she was literally tearing her computed apart. We calmed her down and she… Lincoln, I had never seen her like that. So… devastated. We tried to ease her, but she told us… She said..."

She covered her face with her hands, unable to pronounce the words.

"None of us had said it out loud, but I think we all… We all had some kind of hope that, if there was someone that could do something about… I mean, she can make a person glow with just a cookie, she can create life from trash. Why couldn't she find a…?"

She couldn't finish the phrase, but Lincoln understood anyway. His expression was left unalterable. His breathing continued normally. But his eyes, even if they seemed to be fixed on Lori, were clearly lost. His eyes gave it all away.

"Oh" he simply said, softly nodding. "I get it."

"Did you know she was…?"

"Yes."

"And why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I didn't want this to happen. And because I didn't want… I didn't want to believe that she actually had a chance of succeeding."

Lori quickly moved until she was practically glued to him and put an arm around his shoulders, dragging him even closer.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry, I… I should go to bed."

Lori didn't say anything. She moved her arm away and let him go, looking at the carpet. Lincoln stood up and walked to the door. He put his and on the cold, metal doorknob, but he didn't turn it. He just stood there, and then he used his sleeve to wipe his eyes.

"Lori" he said in a trembling voice.

"Yes?"

He slowly turned around, embarrassed, wiping his eyes one more time. He couldn't meet her eyes, so he looked elsewhere. His right hand closed around his left elbow.

"Can I… bunk in with you? For tonight?"

Before his brain could register what was happening, Lori had grabbed him by his shoulders and carried him onto her bed. She covered him with her blankets, she caressed his hair, and she wrapped her whole body around him, embracing him as tight as she could.

By the time Leni came into the room, several minutes later, Lincoln had already fallen asleep.

* * *

The following days were very hard for Lincoln.

Luckily enough, he spend a lot of time with his family. His mother was always coming to check on him, like a satellite spinning around him, always close, always keeping an eye out for him. His father also started to spend a lot of time at home, especially after the little "break" his boss gave him at work. The older siblings knew the truth, they knew he had been fired after he made a mistake that costed the company a big deal, but they couldn't just tell him so. They pretended that they believed him so he shouldn't be worried about finding a solution, and so the younger siblings wouldn't be any more worried than they already were. Lori, Leni and Luna were in charge of hiding all the empty alcohol bottles that started to appear on the kitchen every morning.

His sisters had a slightly improving on their state of mind, trying their best to spend as much time as possible with him. They were always fighting for his attention, for the possibility of spending more time with him. Lynn was constantly looking out for him, but she wasn't trying to use him as a sparring anymore. Everyday, she went to the mall and bought between two and four comic issues and asked him to read them together, making questions about all those different characters she knew nothing about and that Lincoln had studied for years.

However, Lynn's questions sometimes got lost under Lola's, who had abandoned her princess role and was now dressed as a maid, and she followed Lincoln everywhere he went, constantly asking him if he needed something. He ha been asking her for days to stop doing that, that there was no need, that he was more than willing to keep doing the butler role, but after numerous arguments, he had finally decided that he could play along with her, as long as it made her happy.

Lana had built a small shelter in the backyard, where she kept guarding the tree that she and Lincoln had planted. She only left her post to eat, sleep, and every once in a while just to run inside the house, give Lincoln a tight hug and then go back there again.

Luna also found her own little sanctuary in the garage. Her music returned as loud as ever, and this time Lincoln could enjoy it. Because even if she wasn't around him as much as the rest of his sisters, she came to him at least twice everyday, grabbed his hand, guided him to the garage and then she showed him a brand new song she had written for him. He knew his sister was a musical prodigy, but he could had never guessed that she might be able to write so many good songs in such a short time span. They were all beautiful, all happy upbeat songs about the wonderful times they had spent together, and Lincoln always ended up giving her the tightest hug ever.

Leni, as happy and kind as ever, was making makeup contest with him everyday, where she would put him makeup, would comb his hair in exotic ways, polished his nails and chose the best clothes for him, and he would do the same for her. They were always ending up like crazy clowns, but they had a lot of fun. He still couldn't figure Leni out, though. He didn't know what was going on inside her mind, but he wasn't about to complain.

Lincoln knew that all his sisters were trying to spend as much time as possible with him, but he also knew there was one that followed him closer than the rest, like a shadow. Wherever he may be, she followed him, always hidden, always in the dark. That's why every once in a while he asked whoever was with him to go to the kitchen to serve him a drink or something, so he would be left apparently alone. And during those moments, Lincoln walked into those dark corners, from where Lucy always came out to hug him and say one more time that she loved him more than any other mortal. Those fugacious hugs were being kept a secret for the rest of the family, but Lincoln knew that they meant a lot for Lucy. Nevertheless, he noticed that Lucy was definitely the most affected of all his sisters. Something dark was going on with her. He could feel it, yet he couldn't explain it.

On the other hand, it was pretty evident that Luan had relapsed once again into ignoring him. She greeting him, she hugged him everytime they met inside the house, but she spent the most part of the day locked inside her room. And Lincoln didn't need to be a genius to know what was she doing.

On that Thursday afternoon, after having visited Pop-Pop to break the new to him —which had been a sad episode like no other, one that Lincoln preferred not to remember—, he asked Luna to keep Luan entertained for an hour. That she tried her best to keep her in the garage for that time. The rock star had no problem fulfilling that mission, and he seized that time to make several travels from the girls' bedroom to the farthest corner of the backyard. After an hour, he had recollected all that he needed. He was emptying the content of the petrol can Lori had given him when she heard Luan's desperate scream from her room. He looked up and seconds later Luan looked out from her window.

She immediately saw Lincoln and realized what he was about to do. She let out a new scream before running her way downstairs into the backyard. Seconds later she was running right at him.

"Don't do it! Please, don't!"

After he finished soaking all the videotapes in gasoline, Lincoln threw the petrol can away and picked a lighter from his pocket. Luan stopped ten feet away from him, looking terrified at the lighter.

"P-Please… No..." she asked, on the verge of tears.

"Luan, you can't go on like this" he quietly said. "You spend all your time watching videos of me instead of spending that time with me."

"A-Alright… Let's go play, okay? We can play whatever you want. We can… We can make a food fight on the kitchen o-or setting up a prank for Lori. Huh? Do you want to do that?"

"No, Luan. What I want is to save you."

"Lincoln, I… Those… Those videos are all I have of you! I can only remember you through them!"

"That's not true, sis" said Lincoln, putting the lighter down and stepping closer. "That's not true at all. You don't need to obsess with videotapes to remember me. You're my sister, my funny and talented sister, and I love you."

"But..."

"Luan, bad things do happen. They will always happen. How you respond to them defines your character and the quality of your life. You can choose to sit on perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of your loss, or you can choose to rise from the pain and treasure all the things you have to move on" he solemnly said. "It's true that I will be here no longer, that I won't be able to be your assistant, or that you won't be able to test your pranks on me..."

"Please, don't say that..."

"...but I'll always be your brother. I… I want you to remember me. I want all of you guys to remember me, I don't want you to forget me. But not at this cost. I don't want you to live trapped in the tapes, to you to end up lost in the nebula of yesterday, locked in a spiral of endless sadness. I want you to move on, remembering with dearness all the times we had, but with your eyes set on the future."

"Lincoln..."

"I can't die if I'm not sure that all of you will be okay. And in your case, I can't go without knowing that you will be able to move on" he said, looking at her very seriously. "I need you to prove me that this won't affect you forever. You need to show me that you can move on. You need to do this for me."

And he offered her the lighter. Luan looked horrified at it. Her eyes started to dance between the lighter and her brother's face. The one she loved the most in the world, even more than she loved herself. With every look at his eyes, her face relaxed a little, until finally, with a sigh, she took the small object.

She walked closer to the giant mountain of tapes. With trembling fingers she turned on the lighter, and once the small blaze appeared, she threw it on the soaked videotapes.

The flame ignited immediately. A fire that started to emanate black smoke as soon as the magnetic tape was consumed. Luan had to take several steps back, for the impact of the heat on her face was threatening to burn her eyebrows. When she was sure that she wasn't in danger, she fell on her knees and started to cry.

Along with the smoke, Luan felt a little bit of her heart being lifted to the sky.

Lincoln knelt right next to her and hugged her. He patted her back, trying to ease her. He knew that thishurt her, but it was for the best. He just wanted the best for them all.

* * *

That same Thursday, when Phoebus started to hide behind the landscape on the horizon and the tall buildings of the city, coloring the sky like an oil painting, with a palette that would put shame on any canvas ever painted, half the Loud family found themselves busy with things to do. Rita took Lily, Lola and Lana to the doctor for a routine check, while Lynn Sr took Luna and Luan to the mall to buy something they wanted to keep as a secret, but Lincoln knew by the side glances they gave him that it was something for him.

Lincoln was at that moment sitting on the couch with Lynn, trying to teach her how to play with videogames. Lynn was a fast learner, but she still had a lot to learn before she could beat Lincoln. It was funny for him to see her mixed emotions: on one side, her incredible and incomparable competitiveness made her furious everytime she lost, but at the same time she was absolutely happy for being playing along with Lincoln, and every time he smile at her, she smiled back.

"I thing you had enough already" said Lincoln after his twentieth consecutive victory, putting the joystick aside.

"Alright, alright" admitted Lynn, saving her joystick too. "Just lemme go to the kitchen to grab some sodas, okay lil' bro?"

"Sure."

Lynn got up and walked to the kitchen, leaving Lincoln "alone" in the living room.

He was about to turn his head to look at the fireplace to tell Lucy that she could get out now, but she acted first. Before Lincoln could move, he felt two arms wrapping themselves around his neck and his sister's forehead pressing against his nape.

"I love you, Lincoln" she whispered.

He smiled. He could see her in the reflection on the TV screen.

"I love you too, Lucy."

"You were right" she continued. "Not even death can tear us apart. We will always be together."

Somewhat confused, Lincoln turned around to get a better look at her. Lucy was still embracing him. Her bangs hide her eyes, but Lincoln could still feel the intense gaze.

"Of course we will" he assured her. "I'm always gonna be with you, I told you already."

"I know" she answered, resting her forehead against his. "I know. You're the best brother a girl might have had."

"And you are one of the ten best girls that had ever lived in the entire universe" said Lincoln, smiling at her.

And to his utter surprised, Lucy smiled back. A tiny smile, but it was sincere and meaningful like no other. She gave him a little kiss on his cheek, and she quietly walked away, stairs up, probably heading to her room. Lincoln kept staring at her.

There was something odd…

"I'm back!" Announced Lynn, going back from the kitchen with tho glasses. She offered one to Lincoln and sat next to him once again, laying against his shoulder. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do _you_ want to do?"

"I could stay like this" she answered, snuggling against her brother a little more. "I don't need anything else."

"Let's stay like this, then" he suggested, turning his head to flash her a smile.

She did too, and they both stayed there in silence, with the TV turned off, enjoying each others company. They stayed like that for about five minutes, until Leni arrived.

"Oh, are you having a nap on the couch?" She asked both her younger siblings, looking interested. "I'd love to take one too, but Lori's like in a video call with Carol Pingrey and I can't even speak in there."

Lincoln smiled. His plan to make Lori and her old best friend to reconcile had been a success.

"We weren't about to take a nap" he told Leni, "we were just… getting a little rest."

"Oh."

"I could use a nap, though" he admitted.

"I'll get some blankets and a pillow!" Lynn quickly offered herself, standing up and walking to the stairs.

"Hey, Linky?" Asked Leni, nervously moving her left foot and putting her hands behind her back.

"Yeah?"

"I… Well, after you and Lynn wake up from your nape, do you think we could maybe, like, go out for a walk or something? I need… There's something I need to tell you."

Lincoln looked at her with interest. Was he about to find out about what Leni thought of this whole situation?

"Of course" he assured her. "Whatever you want. I'd also like to—"

" _LUCY! NO!_ "

Lynn's scream made the whole foundation of the house shake. Lincoln jumped straight up, scared. They soon heard rapid stomping on the first floor, and seconds later a new scream, this time Lori's.

" _LENI, OPEN THE DOOR AND START VANZILLA! NOW!_ "

"I… What?" Asked Leni, looking scared at Lincoln.

"T-The… Turn the rattling key-thingy so the car snores!" He said, being smart enough to talk in _Leni_ so her older sister would understand.

She did, apparently, for she ran to the door, grabbed Vanzilla's keys and got into the family van in a matter of seconds.

Finally coming out of the paralysis that had invaded him, Lincoln tried to walk to the stairs to see what was going on, but just as he was getting there, his sisters ran all the way down. He saw it all in slow motion. Lori and Lynn moving desperately. Lori looked panicked, and Lynn was crying. The two of them were carrying a white bulge that Lincoln didn't recognized at first. Not until he saw the unmistakable black hair. When they walked past him, Lincoln saw that they had wrapped two towels around Lucy's wrist.

For an instant, his little sister's bangs moved, letting him see a semi-open eye. The gazes from the black haired girl and the white haired boy met, and in that instant, before her head fell limp against her shoulder, Lincoln saw her giving him a tiny smile.

He didn't hear Lori's scream of staying home to care care of Lisa. He didn't hear it, but he was too stunned to react and follow them. He just stood there, as his three sisters met with Leni in the van and then drove away from home. Lincoln couldn't move. He just did when he noticed the little red drops that had marked a scarlet trail from the stairs to the entry door.

He felt sick. He felt like he was about to throw up. He ran upstairs, trying to reach the bathroom, but a small figure got in his way.

"Lincoln, I require your assistance in my lab" Lisa solemnly said.

"Lisa… Not now. Didn't you hear what…?"

"It was to be now, older brother."

He stared at her. There was something odd on his little sister. How quietly she seemed to be breathing. The serene attitude. The way she had her hands behind her back, like an officer waiting to receive a medal. But above all things, Lincoln was surprised by the little genius gaze. Behind the glasses, her eyes seemed to be drilling holes into Lincoln. A deep look filled with a meaning unknown to Lincoln.

"It'll have to wait, Lisa. Lucy just tried to..."

"Judging by the quantity of blood on her room and the floor, I can say that she didn't damaged any vital blood conduct. A simple blood transfusion and proper psychological treatment should be enough to save her, without a doubt. Now do not worry, for any preoccupation or thoughts you may have now lacks of value and importance against what I'm about to show you" she said, still looking at him with those eyes.

Lincoln tried to guess what she might have been working on in her room. To be honest, he couldn't imagine what interesting experiment could generate such reaction on Lisa. That way of standing up, that tone of voice… It almost sounded like the Lisa he knew. The regular Lisa.

"Are you sure Lucy's not in danger?"

"Absolutely."

"Completely sure?"

"Positively."

"Okay… Okay. What do you have to show me?"

"Follow me" she hurried him up, walking into her room. "We don't have much time."

As soon as they entered the room, Lincoln noticed that Lisa still had most of her machines working. Only in a corner there was the broken computed Lisa had destroyed some days ago. Lincoln hadn't talked about it yet. He didn't want to put the finger on the sore spot. Lisa started to mess one of her drawers, looking for something.

"This incident with Lucy is the confirmation I needed" she simply said.

"Confirmation? Of what?"

"That I'm doing the right thing."

She turned to look at Lincoln with two objects on her hands. One of them quickly got Lincoln's attention. It seemed like one of Ace Savvy gadgets, some kind of gun with a hook that he used to climb on buildings or to grab things from a distance. Her other hand was closed, with a small object inside.

"The right thing?" Lincoln asked. "What are you talking about?"

Lisa walked closer and made a sign so he would duck. He did.

"I tried to save you" she said, with real pain in her voice. "I tried my best, but no matter how tests I ran, I couldn't find the way to cure you. I failed you."

Lincoln knew that this was a talk they eventually needed to have. And he knew what he had to say.

"Lisa, you don't—"

"I couldn't save you" she interrupted him, "and the pain of my failure will forever haunt me, for the rest of my life. But this family needs you. This family needs Lincoln Loud. And them I can save" she finally said, opening her hand to show him what she had in there.

Lincoln let out a gasp. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

He thought it had been a dream.

Lisa pressed a button on the watch, and seconds later, a green portal opened up in front of them. They could see their living room like they were watching it from their TV screen. No, not their living room. _Another_ living room. And sitting on the couch, halfway eating his cereal was Lincoln Loud himself.

 _Another_ Lincoln Loud.

"I'm really sorry about this, Lincoln" Lisa said.

And before any of the two Lincolns could react, Lisa pushed the boy from his dimension through the portal, making him fall on his back. She immediately fired the gadget, and the hook with wire made several turns around the Lincoln that was sitting on the sofa, trapping him. An instant later, she pulled the wire, and the new Lincoln was dragged through the portal.

"WAIT! DON'T!" Yelled the Lincoln on the floor, trying to stand up.

"I will always remember you, Lincoln" said Lisa, before pressing a new button on the watch, closing the portal.

Lincoln fell on his knees on the carpet.

He was trapped in another dimension.

"What's up, bro?" Said the unmistakable voice of Luke, coming into the living room along with Lane.

"Oh, you dropped your cereal on the carpet!" Pointed out Lane. "Ooooooh, Loki's gonna kill you. 'Babe' is coming home tonight for dinner."

"No… No, no, no" said Lincoln, feeling a sudden pressure on his chest. He was breathing hard now, and his vision started to blur. "Levi… I need to find Levi!"

"Hey, what's your problem, dude?!" Complained Luke just as Lincoln shoved into him while running to the stairs.

On his way there, Lexx and Leif ran past him, almost tackling him. As he climbed the stairs, Lincoln felt the pressure on his chest rising, like there was someone sitting on top of his ribs, and he also started to feel a sharp pain on his left arm. He started to stagger on his way upstairs, walking in zig-zag, bumping against both walls on his right and left.

When he was about to reach the top, he suddenly stopped. His legs didn't respond him any more.

Loni appeared just in time.

"Hey, Lincoln. Are you okay?" He asked, confused.

Lincoln dedicated one of his last thought to those poor boys, who would never know what had happened to their real brother. Finally, his legs failed him, and Lincoln fell from the stairs, his body hitting every step.

He heard the screams, and then it all went black.

The last thing his brain was able to process was that, at least, his beloved sisters wouldn't have to suffer his death.

.

.

* * *

 _ **R** **e** **quiem** **f** **or** **a** **Loud  
** by Underrated Hero_

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Holy shit, hahahaha, APRIL FOOLS!_

 _Dang it, I can't believe I took the time to write all this junk just for a stupid joke. Hahaha, I've been thinking since December about "Hmm, it'd be cool to make a fake ending for April Fools". And since I got to do it in time, I decided to do the most stupid, lame, cringy final chapter I could possibly think of. Like, this is worst I could offer for an ending._

 _Everything I said in the first author notes was a joke. This is not the end, this ain't the chapter that finished it all, we have AT LEAST five more chapters, lol. And don't worry, I'm relatively healthy. Like, I could use a better diet, but other than that I'm really healthy. Maybe that was a bad taste joke, but I'm a fool, what did you expect?_

 _Anyway, last week I told you I had an announce to make, and that's actually true: for personal reasons and out of need (I'm not gonna say "extreme need" because there are people who are having even rougher times than me, and I don't want to exaggerate), I've decided to give it a shot on Pa treon. For those of you who don't know, Pa treon is a platform for artist where people can support them, with voluntary donations every month or only once. There are different "rewards" depending on the donation. This rewards include PDF's of my stories, some "behind the scenes" (deleted scenes, other ideas, inspirations…), access to a private Discord chat where you can ask me whatever you want, and also the possibility to commission me to write stories of different lengths._

 _I'll launch the page five minutes before updating this cap, so you'll be the first ones to ever find out. I wont' be spamming this. This is the only time I'll ever mention it. I don't want to bother anyone. I don't want to victimize myself or explain her why am I doing this. But for those of you who may be interested or want to know why am I doing this, you can find me in that platform with this very same user, **UnderratedHero**. The only thing I'll say is that it's related to the amount of time I'll be able to have to keep writing Requiem and other stories._

 _Pretty smart, huh? Asking for money after making you lose precious time and making you hate me, hahaha. Well, I guess that's just to see who the loyal fans are. Like, those die-hard fans that will forgive me even after this terrible prank I did for April Fools._

 _I'll try to have the real 19th chapter ready ASAP, although that may be between 2-4 weeks. In a few days I'll change the story status back to "in progress", hahaha._

 _And now, to add more words to the document so the joke is more believable ("Wow, a 8K chapter! This must be real!"), I'll actually answer your reviews one by one:_

 _ **M** **ikeTheHuman113** : What a coincidence indeed, haha. I'm glad you liked the dialogues, I work hard on them to sound… I don't know if "real", but at least interesting and believable. I assume this is not the ending you were expecting to get, right? Hahaha._

 _ **Omega Ultra** : Oh, I get it. Sometimes I read something and the first time it's more of a "knowing what's going on"; but it's the later reads that gives me the "fully understanding what's happening". I understand what you say about the class. And about the tears. I honestly don't agree with a lot of people reacting the same way, but maybe that's just me and the story in my head, and what's actually written does make it look like that. We can always improve, hahaha._

 _ **Mikedonald** : B-But I like onions!_

 _ **Exotos135** : Holy shit, you must be really disappointed that this was a joke, hahaha. But, uh… Dude, no one's forcing you to read this. It is a sad story, yes. If you don't find it worth reading, then… well, don't read it. I respect your opinions, but I think you're taking your bias on sad stories and you make it sound like that's how it works for everyone. Granted, not everyone loves sad stories, but there are people who really enjoy reading sad stuff. You say people don't want to read this story, and yet it was one of the highest chapter/reviews rate in the site. And I don't know if my bad English is making me misinterpret you, but… To be honest, I don't think you have a right to tell me what I can or can't write. If I want to write another sad story, then I will do it. And if no one likes it, then I don't care, I'll keep doing it. Because I love writing, no matter how "successful" the stories may be. If I didn't understand what you were trying to say, then I apologize, but it kinda felt like you don't like sad stories so you were trying to tell me to finish this as soon as possible and never write anything sad again._

 _ **C** **roople** : I believe you. I had no reason to distrust you. But man, if your brain's melting you should see a doctor!_

 _ **Lttlgreg** : Aw, man, reviews like yours are what makes me feel guilty about this joke I did, hahaha. Such a nice review, and you were looking forward for the next chapter and I gave you a joke. I don't deserve you._

 _ **Sonicman501** : I really appreciate your review. Thank you very much!_

 _ **TGGDSD** : I salute you too._

 _ **FanficFan920** : I'm sorry :(_

 _ **Shadow019** : Thank you. Do you still think of me as a great writer, even after I betrayed your trust with this? Hahahaha._

 _ **Littlealexmartinez61910** : Yeah, they're the most childish (Lisa's supersmart and Lily's a baby), and they seem to be pretty emotional, so their reactions needed to be like this. At least that's how I think it would be._

 _ **Jazz** : Jeez, Jazz, I don't think it'll be a good idea to send this to Savino, hahaha. I would probably end up banned from attending all Nickelodeon events for a lifetime. But thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate them._

 _ **ThatGuyWhoReadsFanfiction** : Thank you, man. Unfortunately, you'll still need to wait to find out the answer to that question. About releasing them at the same time, I try my best to do that. But the Spanish readers shouldn't have to pay the price for my slow translations, I think._

 _ **T** **heJayster49** : Thank you for reviewing._

 _ **Guest** : Were you already in the toilet when you started to cry? Or did you ran to the toilet? Hahaha._

 _ **LiterateClown** : Kinda._

 _ **Celrock** : I'm like you liked last chapter so much. So yeah, we're actually close, we've only got five more chapters or so. It's all coming down together now._

 _ **Onepieceranger123** : It was a sad ending, if I may say so._

 _ **AshHeart** : I don't know. Will you?_

 _ **Dr** **agontitan** : Lincoln is just too pure for this world. He's the peak of selflessness, at least in this story. He's all worried about his family._

 _ **The Critik** : I think this is the first time I scored a 15/10. I'm honored. And I'm glad you liked it. Like I said many times before, I'm not "proud" or happy of making people cry, but it means that the story has an impact of some sort, so I'm glad that you found it that good. Thank you._

 _ **Erica-phoenix16** : No, thank you for reading :)_

 _ **LoudSin** : I'm glad you considered last chapter as the best one yet. That means the story's not decaying. And dude, if you want a Requiem for a Loud comic you'd have to pay a fortune. A 200K words story turned into a comic? That's like… many graphic novels, hahahaha._

 _ **STR2D3PO** : You are absolutely right about everything. He needs to have moments with them all. We'll get to them, I promise (even if my word right now has lost all credibility, hahaha)._

 _ **G** **ojiraCipher** : Wow, I really didn't know you guys had liked this chapter so much. There are a lot of comments saying chapter 18th was the best one yet, and that makes me incredibly happy. Thank you so much._

 _ **D-Structs** : Thank you, man._

 _ **Samtastic 3,0** : Was this the kind of Lincoln/Lisa interaction you were expecting? Hahahaha._

 _ **BoukenDutch** : Well, I am an Argentinian author, after all. It makes sense to have the Spanish version first. Lily will have her "time", don't worry. Just to let you know: I wrote that Pop-Pop line (evidently skipping it) just to annoy you specifically, since I know you've been waiting for a Pop-Pop scene for a long time now. Oh, too bad, you'll miss this on April Fools then. Oh, well._

 _ **DeepDishes** : I'm glad you experienced so many emotions on this chapter. That's always a good sign. I understand that the teachers telling the kids may be a bad move, but… well, they're gonna fin out eventually. And thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me._

 _ **Metime** : Thanks m8._

 _ **ExMarkSpot** : Yes! Probably!_

 _ **Jonahhex5** : It's not my intention to hurt you. I'm sorry. Well, not really. I'm glad the story makes you feel anything, ha._

 _ **ImpossibleJedi4** : Thank you very much. I hope that the actual real ending will please you when it comes, hahaha._

 _ **Quizmaster** : I'm glad to know that. Thank you!_

 _ **Nameless Joe** : 1) Wow, that's sad. I'm sorry. 2) What Rugrats reference?! Tell me, I didn't realize that. TELL ME!_

 _ **Grim-XIII** : Thanks! I'm glad you find it so good. Ask and you shall receive! ...although it's gonna take a while._

 _ **G** **ravity Fallout** : We still have five more chapters or so to go, hahaha. You have time to get ready!_

 _ **PurpleBoy1000** : No, thank you, my dear reader!_

 _ **ElectricLoud** : The most heartbreaking? Maybe because there were two girls? Or because of their age? Anyway, a lot of people seem to think that way, hahahaha, so I guess it might as well be the most intense chapter of the story! Thank you so much for your reviews._

 _ **G** **uest** : Why yes, Lisa is going through a lot. She's a four years old kid who thinks it's up to her to save her brother. That can't end well. Or can it? I'm glad you liked Lincoln's speech, I was kinda afraid of it being too… formal for a kid, hahaha. Thank you for your review._

 _ **ShadowBlaze625** : Thanks, man. I loved every second of writing this chapter too, hahaha. The end will be only one, though. I have it planned. And I hope that you'll like it when it eventually comes._

 _ **Like A Pro** : Thank you! And I'm glad you're this committed to your stories. Your ideas should be available for the whole world to read._

 _ **Sethsepticeye** : Luan's chapter was one of my favorites. Thank you :D_

 _ **Emperor of Performances** : I agree. Poor little girls…_

 _ **Hatoralo** : I've been answering these reviews for over two hours now. It gets SO tiring… But it's a wonderful kind of tiredness. Thank you for your words._

 _ **TimmyTurnerFan** : By the time you've reached this point you'll probably would have left more reviews, so I want to thank you right away for your amazing reviews. I really like your views and takes on everything that happens in the story. Thank you._

 _ **Frankling** : Shady's back_

 _ **Superdimentio77** : Thank you, man. I'm glad you have that confidence in me, hahaha._

 _ **Lawny-Geo soul's friend** : Pls don't die-hard_

 _ **Harmony Avery** : There will be more, don't worry!_

 _ **Killer Assassin** : I KNOW, RIGHT?!_

 _ **Emmaelise401:** A little more than that. More like 5/6._

 _ **Dead heart 9** : Don't worry, I accept your late "happy birthday". I ran out of cake, though..._


	20. A different Lincoln

_._

 _After such a long time, I finally bring you guys a new chapter of **Requiem for a Loud**. To make it up for you a little bit for this long hiatus, I bring you now the longest chapter so far, with a lot of things to say. So take your time, read a little bit each day instead of reading it all at once and you'll see how easier it will be to wait for the next update, lol._

 _First of all, my apologies to those of you who didn't enjoy the April Fool's prank. I found it phenomenally hilarious, I'm sorry that you didn't share my sense of humor, and I'm also sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything, it wasn't my intention at all. Those who stopped following my story and hate me for it, I understand. Maybe someday you'll return. Or not._

 _The worst thing is that just after the joke chapter came this big "hiatus". Thanks a lot for the patience for those who had it. Thanks also for all the support messages I received in my Tumblr ("UnderratedHero" just like in here, and where I've been super active these past weeks). I'd also like to thank all 83 people (I counted and read every single one of them, yes) that sent me private messages in the meantime. For those few who were asking worried if I was alive/sick/with problems, thanks for your worry (next time check my Tumblr and you'll find out about update progress and my health). And to the rest (the most part) that sent me hate messages, telling me to "update the fucking fic", that I should "at least say something" (I have a Tumblr for that and explained multiple times what I was going through), asking why I dropped the story (?), telling me that I betrayed them by taking this long (?) and that I don't deserve so many fans if I'm gonna be an irresponsible jerk (?), thank you, too. I mean, if you take it this hard just for two months (with two One-Shots in the meantime, mind you), then I guess that means you like this story, right?_

 _Listen, I'm studying a really time-consuming career (architecture), I have a half-time job that I need to keep in order to BARELY live, I'm doing commissions so I can have a couple of extra bucks that I really need, and I went through a lot of difficult situations. Even in this catastrophic scenario, it never crossed my mind the idea of canceling Requiem for a Loud. I wish I could update every Friday, I really do, nothing would make me happier, but unfortunately, I can't. It takes time for me to write, and time is something I'm really short of._

 _Oh, just a small thing: I used a poem in Spanish for this chapter, and I couldn't find one in English so good as this one, so I'll post the original and the translation. This always happens the other way around in the Spanish version._

 _This chapter is the first one of the final act. The first act of the fanfic was about Lincoln deciding what to do, and it ended with "Lincoln's blue period Part II" and Adrien's letter. The second act was about Lincoln and (most of) his loved ones. It started in "Operation Farewell" with Ronnie Anne and we went through Luan, Lynn, Luna, Lynn Sr, Lucy, Lana, and Lola. This is the beginning of the final act. This chapter is designed to show you the current situation now that the whole family knows about Lincoln. It's long and crowded with scenes, so really, take your time to read it, don't rush it._

 _I'm not gonna say how many chapters are left because… well, let's just say that there might be a surprise coming up and an additional chapter may be included. I will only say that I can count the chapters left with a single hand._

 _ **DISCLAIMER** : The Loud House, its characters and everything regarding the show is not my property (yet), it belongs to Nickelodeon and its rightful owners. Although, after "No such luck" and "Fool's Paradise" I wish I'd own it!_

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 20: A different Lincoln.**

 **.**

Lincoln wasn't the best student in his class. He had troubles paying attention to boring or banal subjects, and he was easily distracted. He couldn't stand it when teachers just spoke and spoke without ever stopping. History classes, for example, were extremely hard for him to go through. He needed creative environments, activities where he could show his impressive imagination, to elaborate his ideas, to demonstrate that he was such a clever kid. That's why, every once in a while, he found things that stimulated his imagination and that motivated him to work. Sometimes there were projects where he had the chance to show all his ingenuity, like that time when he and Clyde had to come up with a business idea. And sometimes they were simple things, little details that caught his attention and wouldn't leave his mind.

For example, one time they were studying Mark Twain in his English classes. He loved everything related to fiction, whether it was comics, movies, series, animation, video games and, of course, novels. He found Mark Twain's style to be pleasant to read. It was funny and not as difficult to understand as other stuff they had to read. There were some parts he didn't understand, but nothing that a quick talk with Lisa couldn't resolve.

What he remembered the most about Mark Twain, however, was a quote his teacher had read them: _"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day_ ". The idea of eating a live frog was repulsive and disgusting enough to be remembered by Lincoln. He could still remember Ms. Johnson's explanation about doing the hardest things or the things you least wanted to do as soon as possible, so you could then focus on the things you do like and stop worrying about those other things you don't.

As he gently stroked Lola and Lana's backs, with them snuggled up against him, crying their last tears their small bodies could produce, Lincoln realized that he had eaten the equivalent to ten live frogs in the first hours of his morning.

After finally grasping the situation, his sister's reactions were just as he had imagined them to be. Just as painful. Just as terrible. The pain he felt inside his chest was beyond simple sadness or a little depression. It was an actual, physical pain, like all the muscles surrounding his rib cage were numb, like someone was sitting and bouncing on his chest, doing everything in their power to make sure that breathing was not an easy or comfortable task for Lincoln.

The sunny morning didn't last long. The clear sky Royal Woods had dawned with was hidden now behind thick clouds, announcing an incoming rain.

"Guys..."

It was difficult to determine if they turned around to see him worried about what he had to say or if they did it because they were surprised by the incredible and spectacular way his voice had failed him, sounding like the last bit of air coming out of a deflated balloon. If it was for the latter, they certainly didn't find anything funny about it.

He gathered up all his courage, he cleared his throat and embraced them tighter. Closer to his chest, trying to show them that he was there for them, that he would protect them, to reassure them. It was, however, a task comparable to stop the rain with one's own hands.

"Let's go home", he finally told them.

He patiently waited for an answer that didn't come. For eleven years he'd learned to be a good brother. He had learned to organize his sisters, to manage them, even manipulate them given the case. Eleven years of experience in resolving family disputes that were now suddenly useless given the situation. Lincoln Loud's ability with words was legendary, he was capable of convincing someone to buy him sand in a dessert, but his creative capacity was severely atrophied. The sight of his two little sisters demolished by the news that Lincoln himself had troubles accepting was too much, even for him.

After the silence became an obvious sign of pain and knowing himself incapable of pronouncing the right words, he decided to simply stand up. His leg muscles were numb after carrying the weight of his little sisters for such a long time. It was hard for him to stand up, but when he finally did he was surprised to see that his sisters did as well. They were holding his hands almost possessively, the way they would hold on to their most precious possession, not willing to let it go.

He squeezed their hands and started to walk.

The long streets became interminable at the slow pace they were walking at. People passing by turned around to look at them, and Lincoln imagined that they were certainly hard to be overlooked. Three minors, with their faces red and swollen eyes after crying so much, walking slowly down the streets, one of them with a ripped dress and stained with mud. If Lola could take a look at herself in a mirror she would definitely start a tantrum.

Or maybe she wouldn't care anymore.

That had definitely been the worst possible way to start the day and the week for Lincoln. His morning had been a living hell. But even if everything around him was bursting in flames and his heart was aching with the unfortunately familiar sensation of abandonment and futility, Lincoln found himself repeating a single relieved thought inside his head:

 _No more secrets_.

"A week?"

Lola wouldn't look at him in the eye. Her gaze was lost in the tiles that were slowly passing by under her feet.

"Only… one week?"

Lincoln squeezed her hand once again.

"One week", he softly confirmed.

There wasn't any breeze, but he could still feel them shivering.

"So…"

"...we only have until next Monday?" Finished Lana.

A simple question, a known answer, but with as many possible ramifications and consequences as the movement of a knight in a game of chess.

"I don't… I don't know. It's hard to tell."

"More than a week, then?"

"I, uh... No, I don't think so."

"L-Less than a w-week?" Let out the little mechanic.

Mark Twain's frog wouldn't let itself be swallowed that easily.

"Listen, guys, I, uh… It's impossible to know. No one can give us an exact date. It might be a week, it might be more, it… it might be less."

His phalanxes were trapped in a desperate and desolate grip, and he regretted having said anything. Those little hearts couldn't handle so much pain.

"Why?!" Asked Lola, wiping her face with her now ruined gloves, once light pink. "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"Because I didn't want to see you guys like this. I wanted to keep seeing you happy. I'm… I'm sorry, I knew it would hurt you, and I-"

"Now we don't have any time!" Complained Lana as they kept walking, her face buried on the side of Lincoln's polo shirt. "All these days I was playing with Charles and making mud castles and repairing Vanzilla instead of being with you!"

"I went to my beauty pageants!" Added Lola, her voice one octave higher than usual. "I left you alone in the house while I was having fun! And now… now we don't have time!"

"Why didn't you think about that?" Asked Lana. "Why didn't you tell us anything? Why did you let us waste our time?"

He knew that sooner or later this was bound to happen. That they would complain about being left in the dark. He knew that this would happen because they were little girls and because he had taken a questionable decision. But even so…

"Do you think this is easy for me?"

The girls complain died before those words.

"Don't you think that this is the only thing I can think of every second of the day? That during nights I have troubles sleeping? I'm also… I'm also sad. I'm furious. I'm scared. I know this isn't easy for you… But you know what? It's not easy for me neither! It's not easy, and I'm doing what little I can to make the best out of this! So excuse me for doing what I thought was best, but I just couldn't-!"

The renewed sobs stopped him. His sisters were still walking next to him, but their eyes were now closed, covered by their free palms, over which they were crying one more time. Lincoln had a lot of things to say. So many things that he had kept inside him, so many conflicts that he had ignored, facts he didn't dare mention, that he wasn't ready to accept. His body and mind were screaming that he couldn't keep hiding those feelings anymore, that he couldn't ignore his fears any longer.

Lana and Lola, however, didn't deserve to listen to all of it, they didn't deserve this. He shouldn't make them feel worse. If he was devastated, he couldn't imagine how they were feeling right now.

He stopped walking, knelt on the sidewalk and embraced them tight, gently stroking their hair.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he told them. "I'm just… really anxious, and nervous, and… I shouldn't have spoken like that. It's not your fault. I'm sorry."

They tried to answer him, but it was impossible for them to let out any coherent word. Their brother hugged them a little more and then gave each one of them a kiss on their foreheads before standing up and stroking their cheeks. To see them so hurt was shattering his heart.

"I promise you these days will be the best ones ever. I'm not gonna leave you guys alone, I'll be with you. With all of you. I swear. We'll have a great time, we'll laugh, we'll play, and I… and… and I'll show you just how much I love you. Because you guys are my favorite twins in the world."

He would've kept talking since the had a lot to say, but seeing how emotional they were and how even beautiful words about them seemed to take them to their limit, he decided to stop right there. Realizing they needed to go on, he grabbed their hands once again and practically dragged them all the streets left to their house.

When they reached their driveway they were immediately received by Charle's happy barks. The dog ran excited around them and started to walk between Lincoln's legs, his loyal master, his best friend. But when he realized Lincoln wasn't paying him attention —he couldn't, given that his hands were trapped in his little sister's grip—, he instead went with Lana. He immediately realized she wasn't in the mood to play with him neither, so he tried to at least lick her tears away, but she paid no mind. Confused, he looked at Lincoln.

"Not now, buddy. Maybe later."

Charles let out a hurt bark before running to the backyard, probably trying to play with Cliff. The three Louds, meanwhile, reached the door. Freeing his right hand from Lola —who quickly hugged his waist—, Lincoln took his keys from his pocket and opened the door. The murmurs he was hearing were abruptly cut short, even before they actually stepped inside. When he closed the door behind him, he turned around, still embraced by his little sisters.

Lori, Luna, and Luan were staring at them from the couch. Lori's phone was resting unattended on the coffee table, far from her reach. Luna had her headphones hanging from her neck and her phone in her hand, as she bit her lower lip and stared at them. Luan, sitting on the floor and hugging her knees, could barely find the strength to look in their direction. The sound of footsteps and a baby trying to pronounce her brother's name made him look upstairs. Leni was carrying Lily in her arms, and they were the only two smiling at them. Lynn —standing next to Leni and trying to hide the ice pack on her knuckles— was also trying to smile, but she couldn't. Lucy was nowhere to be seen, and Lisa seemed to be in her room.

It didn't feel like he had just entered the Loud house. Somewhat scared, he asked himself if maybe this was the new Loud family.

"Did you all know?"

Everyone's eyes turned to Lana. She was looking at them with her lower lip trembling, still holding Lincoln's hand. She was scrutinizing them all with her look, waiting for someone to dare answer her.

Lynn and Leni started to slowly walk downstairs.

"That's why you've been acting so weird, isn't it?" Lola kept going where her twin had left. "You all knew… but no one told us? You let us treat him bad this whole week? You let us ignore him and you didn't even…? How could you?"

"Oh, give us a break", said Lynn, standing in front of Lola and looking at her with real anger. "Can you really blame us?"

"Chill out, dude", Luna tried to stop her, standing up.

"Do you think we're not totally broken with all of this?" Continued the athlete, though. "Do you think this week has been somewhere near easy for us? You don't… You have no idea how hard it is for me to fall asleep at night. Don't you think you're the only one tha-!"

"Lynn."

The freckled-face girl turned around to look at Leni. She had gently rested a hand on her shoulder, but what stopped the rough girl was her older sister's serene face. A face that conveyed the tiniest bit of disappointment, but mostly understanding. A face they could all expect from their father, a serene attitude that Lori might be able to imitate. To see such… maturity in Leni was, at least, surprising.

"What Lynn is trying to say", said Lori, walking closer to Lincoln and the twins, "is that Lincoln asked us to keep it a secret. And, guys… Now that you know that… that he… now that you _know_ , if Lincoln asked you to do anything… wouldn't you say yes, no matter what it is?"

Lola and Lana looked away from her. They had nothing to argue with, no come back to those words. Their complaints died in that same instant. Lincoln decided to speak again.

"I wasn't ready to tell you. I even think that if Luna, Luan, and Lynn hadn't go to the hospital on their on I wouldn't have told them anything neither. I-I didn't want you to know, because..." Lincoln had thought that he had run out of deep emotions for the rest of the day after that morning, but he had clearly done the wrong math. "Because I didn't want to see you sad. And because I didn't have the, uh, the… I don't know, the strength to tell you the truth. I don't know if I did the right or the wrong thing, but I know I hurt you all by doing that. I hurt some of you for lying, and I hurt the rest for making you lie. And I… I just… I just want to say that I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

The first ones to jump on him and give him a hug were the twins. Lynn was burying her face in his chest little after that, and before he knew, all of them were hugging him. He even felt some new arms locking themselves around his waist, and he wondered where Lucy had been hiding this whole time.

He closed his eyes and let himself dwell in the nice sensation of a group hug. The last time he had had one it had been last Sunday at the hospital, before finding out about his condition. That time, it had been a hug full of relief. It was hard to understand what was the underlying message of this hug, though. Was it union? Support? Grieve? He tried to read it, to understand what was he was feeling while being wrapped in his sister's arms like that. He focused and looked into his heart to see what he could find.

He didn't know what it was, but even if it hurt a little, it felt like it was the right thing.

"What are you gonna do today, bro?" Asked Luna several minutes later.

"I don't know", answered Lincoln. "There are many things I'd like to do. I'll probably go to Clyde's house later, but I want to be with you guys as much as possible. With all of you, now that… well, now that you all know."

"What do you want to do?" Asked Lana, cleaning her nose on her own sleeves.

"Anything. Whatever you want."

"A board game!"

They all broke the group hug to look at Leni. The girl, who was still holding little Lily in her arms, was looking at them back with a big, sincere smile… like she was actually happy. That wasn't the case with some of the other girls. Lori, Lola, Lana, and Luan were looking at her like they were thinking the best way to subtly tell her to shut her mouth and remain in silence for what was left of the day. They couldn't believe she could say such a stupid thing, so out of place. They didn't understand how she could smile in a situation like this.

Lincoln, however, had a different opinion. A board game, a regular activity. Something they could all play and have fun with, something with which they could laugh, and have a good time. He urgently needed something normal in his life.

"That's an excellent idea, Leni", he said, surprising most of them and making Leni extremely happy. "What do you wanna play?"

They all exchanged confused looks.

"Eh… _Monopoly_ , maybe?" Suggested Lynn.

"No, we broke it the last time we fought when Luan bought so many hotels."

"What about _Clue_?" Asked Luna.

"Lola broke it in half when Leni accused her of killing herself with six gunshots on her head", said Lucy.

"What… What about _Life?_ " Asked Lola, trying her best to keep herself from crying again.

Lincoln looked at the rest of his sisters, waiting for someone to say that the board had been destroyed after someone landed on a "Revenge" square and made someone else go ten steps back, but since no one said anything he assumed the game was in conditions.

"That sounds fantastic, Lola", he softly said, kneeling down to be closer to her and Lana. "Listen, while we get everything ready in the living room, why don't you guys go take a nice, warm shower and get some clean clothes?"

It was obvious that they both needed a nice set of clothes and to clean themselves up after having been playing in the park, but Lincoln also wanted them to relax a little. And if he had learned anything in his eleven years of life, it was that there was nothing like a warm shower to relax the body and mind.

The girls, however, looked at each other and then at their brother. Their eyes were focused on him, and they didn't seem to be willing to go.

"I'll be right here when you're done", Lincoln assured them, guessing what they were thinking. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise you. I'll wait for you and I'll save you a spot next to me, alright?"

He smiled at them and playfully bumped their noses. That gesture never failed to make them laugh, and even though they didn't start cracking up, a thin smile was plastered on their faces. They gave him one last hug before slowly walking up the stairs, heading to their room and then the bathroom.

"I'll go to the attic to get the game," said Lori.

"I'll go with you", whispered Lucy. Lori put a hand on the little goth girl's back, gently stroking it, and Lincoln saw with interest and a little pain how the both of them walked upstairs, with Lucy resting her head against Lori's waist. The poor kid was obviously still affected, there was no doubt.

"We should bring some cushions to sit on the floor", said Luna. "I can grab some from my room, but I'm gonna need some extra muscles to bring the beanbag. Lynn, d'you mind helping me, luv?"

"I, uh… Yeah, sure."

She gave one last look at Lincoln and then went to Luna's room along with her rocker sister.

"I'll make popcorn and some snacks", said Luan trying her best to smile. "I'd prepare some Mexican food, but I had some issues with it in the past that I don't want to TACO 'bout! I mean, it's NACHO business! Hahaha, get it?"

Leni and Lincoln started to laugh after the joke ended, and even Lily clapped her tiny hands as she babbled. Luan went to the kitchen with a sincere and big smile on her face. Leni was about to head to the stairs, probably trying to come up with some way to help with the preparations, but Lincoln grabbed her by the elbow and stopped her.

"Hey, Leni?"

"Yeah, Linky?"

"Thanks", he told her from the bottom of his heart. "Really, thank you."

She didn't say anything. She just leaned closer and gave him a quick kiss on his forehead.

"You're welcome", she answered back, smiling at him with a tenderness and happiness that only she was capable of transmitting.

She finally walked away, and Lincoln decided that the least he could do was to accommodate the couch so everyone would have space to sit. As he went there, his phone started vibrating again. He checked and noticed he had over forty-two new messages and two lost phone calls. All of them from friends and schoolmates. He looked at his phone with some guilt, but he immediately put it in airplane mode.

This morning was just for him and his sisters.

* * *

"Nine, yes!" Celebrated Lincoln after spinning the little wheel.

Several cries of celebration were heard, along with the sound of Luna playfully smacking her forehead with her palm in a fake gesture of irritation. Lana also began a nervous laugh as she sat on Lincoln's lap, grabbing her cap with her tiny hands, pulling it down with all her strength like she was trying to hide under it.

The game was just one turn away from finishing. Most of the girls were already out, losing after too many debts or by quitting after realizing they didn't have any chances of winning. The only three that still had chances to win were Lincoln, Lana, and Luna. The two girls had already finished and were retired as "Millionaires", and they were waiting for Lincoln to do it too so they could count the money and see who would win.

"Lincoln! Lincoln! Lincoln!" The rest of the girls cheered, laughing and supporting their brother as he moved his token nine squares. He was now two away from reaching the end.

" _What does the box say_ _s_ _?_ " Said Luna, imitating the rhythm of a song that not so long ago became really popular.

Lincoln moved Lana's head aside so he could read, making the little girl laugh in the process.

"It says: _Oil prices go up to the sky. If you have_ _stockings, retire $500.000.000_!"

Both Luna and Lana covered their faces with their hands, Luna letting herself fall back to the ground as the rest of the girls were screaming in pure happiness, making fun of the sisters that had just basically lost. They all started congratulating Lincoln, although they still needed to make the final count.

Lincoln took his turn again, getting a six, reaching the end line at last and declaring himself as the third and last millionaire of the game.

"Very well, let's make the count", Lori said, having acted as the official banker and the one in charge of making sure that no one tried to cheat.

"Lincoln, can you help me?" Asked Lana, turning around to look at her brother.

"Sure! Lola, would you count my money as I help Lana with hers?"

He had to look over his shoulder since he was sitting on a cushion and Lola was standing right behind him, practically supporting her whole weight on his back, her arms wrapped around her older brother's neck. She hadn't said much throughout the game. She had been right behind him, hugging him, laughing at some of his jokes and, every once in a while and when everyone else seemed distracted, she gave him quick pecks on his cheek.

She didn't answer Lincoln's question, not with words at least. She nodded and with gritted teeth she had to let go of her embrace on her brother to extend her hand and accept the fake money he gave her. In the meantime, Lincoln taught Lana how to count with numbers so big, teaching her how to add a hundred millions and explaining the concept of a billion.

When Luna, Lola, Lana, and Lincoln finished counting their respective fortunes and compared them it turned out, to everyone's joy, that Lincoln had won the game by a small margin over Lana. Everyone, even those who had been close to winning, celebrated Lincoln's victory. And as he found himself surrounded by the applause, the cheers and the happy jokes that his sisters made, the boy could only think that this was life. This was how it was supposed to be. To be surrounded by the ones he loved the most, having a good time, having fun without thinking about what was inevitably going to happen sooner than later.

 _Click!_

The digital sound and the muffled sob made them turn around. Peeking out her head from the doorway that connected the main bedroom with the living room, Rita Loud was staring at the screen of her phone with the saddest smile Lincoln had even seen in his life. Actually, everything about his mother seemed to be sadder and sadder with each passing day. It was hard for him to see her in that spiraling depression. Up until just a week ago, his mother had been a woman who worried about keeping her figure, to look beautiful at all times. Always with her hair combed, always well dressed, always with some kind of makeup on.

That memory had nothing to do with the unkempt Rita he was looking at, with those heavy eye bags, her hair going in multiple directions at once, and the solitary tear that fell over her cheek as she stared at the picture she had just taken.

"K-Kids, I… I..."

Whatever it was that she tried to say, she couldn't finish it. She barely had the strength to go right back to her room before breaking down in front of ten of her eleven children.

The pleasant and cheerful atmosphere the board game had helped create was abruptly forgotten. Lily, playing with some of the pieces left from the game, seemed to be the only one that wasn't deeply affected by Rita's interjection. The rest of them had lost any kind of smile, happiness or cheerfulness that they might have gotten back shortly before. Some of them, like Leni, Luna, and Lucy were staring at the carpet, not daring to look anywhere else. Others, like Luan and Lynn, were hugging their knees against their chests, trying to give themselves some kind of comfort. The twins wrapped their arms around Lincoln once again.

He didn't know what to do. His mother… He spent a couple of hours with her every day, writing his memories in that novel they were both working on. And even though they had to stop several times on each session because of her crying, Lincoln felt like he had no real idea of just how much pain she was going through. If the idea of losing their brother was so terrible for all his sisters, he couldn't imagine the way his mother was suffering from having to cope with the imminent death of a son.

"Excuse me", he said, trying to stand up.

"Don't leave", asked Lana, refusing to abandon his lap.

"Lincoln..." Lola painfully said.

"I'm not leaving", he patiently told them. "I just need to talk with mom."

"I can do it for you if you want", Lori offered, sounding extremely anguished.

Lincoln shook his head, using his physical advantage to stand up despite the twin's efforts.

"I promise I'll be with you a lot, I'll spend so, so, so much time with you, more than ever", he assured them, "but mom needs me too. And she needs me now."

Not even those words were enough to convince them. Luna and Lynn had to intervene and hug Lola and Lana respectively so they would let Lincoln go. He tried not to look behind him as he went to the bedroom, for he knew that if he looked back to his sister's hurt faces, he might decide to stand there with them, trying to comfort them all.

When he should be comforting his mom.

When he opened up the bedroom's door he saw that the lights were off, the curtains were almost completely closed and the TV was unplugged. Lincoln flinched his nose when he smelled the humidity in the room. He had never been inside a dungeon, but right now he could make an educated guess of how it would feel to be in one. The only signs of life in that room were the thin rays of light that got through the slits of the shutter and Rita's muffled cries that escaped through the pillow covering her face.

Lincoln's morning had been really, really complicated. Even though his whole week had been a roller coaster of strong emotions, the last few days were particularly dreary. Ronnie Anne, Luan, Lynn, Luna, his father, Lucy, the twins… He was overwhelmed by the pain, he was reaching his limit. He was in a fragile emotional state and seeing his mother crying was definitely not helping him at all. Seeing his sisters cry, seeing his friends cry, that was one thing. One kind of pain. But there was something supernaturally heartrending about listening to his mother crying. It was a completely different empathy, he felt the pain in a completely different way, more traumatically, like he still had his umbilical cord connecting him to his mother, and her pain was also his.

He didn't say anything. He didn't ask for permission to get in like he'd been taught throughout the years. He dodged all the used tissues on the floor, got on the bed and before his mother could even turn around to look at him, he hugged her. He felt like a little kid once again, embracing his mother, listening and feeling her heartbeats. And, truth be told, a part of him liked feeling so… protected.

After the initial surprise, Rita quickly hugged him back, holding him tight against her. Her bawling increased its intensity. Her hands went to his hair, his back, his arms, rubbing them, trying to feel him close, to comfort him. Her chest was spasming at the rhythm of her crying, the bereaved mourning of a mother, the song of a shattered heart.

He whispered words of love. He told her that he loved her, over and over again. He pleaded her not to be sad, that he would always love her, that that's the only thing that mattered. That she had been… no, that she was the best mother ever.

"Lincoln… Honey… You're the most… the most wonderful kid in the world", she said, doing an enormous effort to modulate her words. "I can't believe… How could we…? How come we didn't see it? Why didn't we realize something was wrong, why didn't we take you to the doctor? Why di-?"

"No!" Lincoln complained, holding her tighter and shaking his head no with the little mobility his mother's embrace allowed him. "Don't do that, mom! Please! Don't… Don't say that! It's nobody's fault, and it's definitely not your fault!"

"Lincoln-"

"The doctor t-that took my case said that… that I was a special case. He told me that no doctor could have seen it coming. Mom, if doctors couldn't know, how could you? It's… it's not your fault. Please, I don't want you to blame yourself for this. It's not… It's not fair! It's not fair..."

Rita wouldn't listen to reason. Each word her son said, no matter how right or comforting it was, was only pushing the knife deeper into her heart. Lincoln felt utterly powerless, completely useless. He tried to make her feel better. To relieve a bit of her sorrow, somehow. A part of him was telling him that he should probably go about it the same way he had done with Luna, allowing her mother to let go of all the pain she was feeling inside, to let her express her inner desolation. For a week, she had to conceal her feelings to protect her daughters from the truth. She couldn't keep it in any longer, and a part of Lincoln wanted to simply lie next to her, embrace her and be there for her as she let it hurt.

But even though he felt like there was no way he could do it, what Lincoln really needed was to make her stop crying. That's the only thing he wanted. Hearing her cry was just too painful.

"Can we write another chapter of the book?" He suddenly asked, looking up to look at his mother in the eye.

He could see the reflection of his own face on his mother's watery eyes.

"Wr… Write…?" Rita tried to say as she continued stroking his hair.

"I just remembered something and I want to write it down", he said, almost pleading. "Can we? Please?"

And then Lincoln did the most despicable thing he remembered ever doing: he put on his puppy face, the one he always used when he needed to ask for a favor to one of his sisters or his parents. A look that he knew his mother couldn't resist. Given the circumstances, it was the most effective way of manipulation he could come up with.

"What do you want to write?" Asked his mother, standing up, resolved to fulfill any wish her only son might have.

He wasn't proud of himself, but Lincoln would've done anything to distract her and keep her from crying anymore. Even if that only was a temporal solution. Even if it didn't mean anything in the long run. The urgent need overwhelmed anything else.

"I want to write about the day I found out my mom was much more than a dentist", he said. "The day I realized that spending a day with her could be just as fun as going to Dad's work. I want… I want to write about how much fun I had that day."

If his plan was to keep her from crying, he wasn't doing a great job.

* * *

Lunch came with quite a few surprises in the Loud house.

The first one of them was the announcement that Lynn, assisted by Lori and with Lincoln's unconditional support —even though he remained in his parent's room until shortly before the actual lunch— would be the one cooking for everyone. Most of the girls didn't know what to think about it. Lucy and Lori seemed to be the only ones that understood the true motives that led the family's athlete to prepare lunch for **thirteen** people.

That was surprise number two: Lynn Sr's arrival minutes before the food was served. They all knew that Mr. Loud worked from Mondays to Saturdays and that he didn't get home until well into the afternoon when the Sun initiated its downfall. He always had lunch at the office, so they were all surprised when he knocked the door. Apparently, he decided to use his lunch break to drive all the way home and spend some time with his family. It was Luan the one that, somewhat worried, asked him if he wouldn't get in trouble if he got late after his break, considering the distance from his work to the house.

"I couldn't care less about that", was his determined answer.

Surprise number three was the decision of setting up the "big table" in the dining room. Almost every day, the family was divided into the grown up table and the kiddie table, but there was also the possibility of bringing the table extension from the basement and set up a bigger table where all thirteen Louds and even an eventual visit might sit all together. Due to organization and space issues, the big table was only used for special occasions, like whenever some of the kids won a new trophy for their case, when there were important announcements to be made or for someone's birthday, which were distributed throughout the year so there was one birthday every month to celebrate. The big table was, therefore, a synonym of happiness, celebration.

When Lincoln sat down on his chair and looked at both sides, he realized that was the dreariest big table he had ever been part of.

Leni and Lily, who was sitting next to him playing with her spoon, were the only ones smiling. Lynn's smile lasted a few minutes after she finished serving the food she had cooked and after Lincoln told her it looked fantastic, but then the general atmosphere of sadness embraced her too. The meal wasn't as good as one of their father's, but it was delicious regardless, and Lincoln enjoyed it. It hurt him to see that the rest of the family was barely eating it. They looked at the food and they moved it with their forks, but they ate just a little piece every once in a while.

And the silence, dear God, the damn silence. Where were all the crossed conversations? The complaints about the noise? Where was all the yelling for someone to pass the salt, loud screams that were repeated non-stop until someone got annoyed enough to grab the salt shaker and tossed it to them? Where were the food fights, their father's scolding for those to stop immediately? What about all the gossips the older sisters shared, the songs his younger sisters sang?

Where was the family he knew?

Leni and their father's attempt to start conversations were not particularly prolific. Lincoln answered whenever they asked him about the show he had watched last night, or when they were interested in knowing if had any plans of going to Clyde's house later that afternoon. But when the questions were more general, aimed at the whole table, not even his mother seemed interested in answering. And Lincoln was so tired, so exhausted… he didn't have the energy to try to cheer them all up.

He had reached a point where he could not longer do that.

Suddenly, someone put the knife on the plate, and the sound of metal hitting porcelain made everyone turn around. Lucy had both hands on her lap and was staring at the floor. She had barely touched her food. Everyone stopped eating and stared in silence as she slowly looked up.

Her bangs were covering her eyes, as always, but the thin trail of tears couldn't be disguised.

"I have something to say."

When most of the table gasped in surprise, Lincoln was remembered that no one else had heard her the day before at the junkyard, when she had talked to him with her real voice, the voice of a scared eight years old girl. The only one who didn't seem surprised was Lynn, and Lincoln could only guess what both sisters had been through the night before in the safety and privacy of their room.

"Lincoln… He didn't..."

She stopped for a second to wipe her eyes with one of her stripped sleeves.

"He didn't clog the toilet last month", she admitted, wrinkling her dress when her fingers closed themselves around the fabric of her lap. "It was… it was me. I was reading _Princess Pony_ in the bathroom, I clogged the toilet."

Lincoln also left his knife on his plate, looking at his little sister with his jaw dropped open. His face was surely showing just as much surprise as everyone else's. What was Lucy doing?

"Everyone blamed him and… and he tried to find out who was behind it. I-I didn't want you to know that it had been me b-because I knew you w-would make fun of me… And he… And he took the blame for me. And it wasn't fair! He didn't do anything, and I…! I let…!"

Luna, sitting next to her, put an arm around her shoulders and dragged their chairs closer together.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry...", Lucy whispered and repeated, damping her older sister's shirt.

"Lucy… You don't have to apologize", Lincoln said, speaking softly. "I did that because I wanted to and because you weren't ready yet to admit it. I'd do it again."

"You're… too kind", she let out between her sobs, "too kind for this world..."

"It's our fault", said Lori then, frowning down at her plate. "We laughed at him. We would've laughed at Lucy. That whole… incident was our fault."

"It was a silliness", Lincoln quickly said, fearing the way that conversation might end if he didn't cut it short. "It was nobody's fault, it's perfectly normal to laugh at-"

"You always forgive us, even when we don't deserve it", Lynn said, her face filled with guilt. "I turned everyone against you when I said you were bad luck, and you still forgave us all. I'm a terrible sister."

"I _made_ everyone believe I was bad luck!"

"I acted like a jerk too", grieved Luan. "Always doing pranks, sometimes hurting everyone… Lincoln had to spend two days in bed after out last April Fools… And I got so jealous when he became my assistant and everyone loved him more… I never… I never meant to hurt him."

"You didn't, I-"

"He always takes the worst part", said Lana. "He had to spend our last vacations doing favors for all of us, he couldn't even enjoy them."

"Yeah, and all because we wouldn't agree on where to go to our vacations", added Luna. "He gave us the chance to choose between Aloha Beach and Dairy Land, and we messed up. We fought, we couldn't just choose one."

"If it wasn't for him, we would all be still complaining about our roommates", said Lola, hugging her twin sister. "Linky… Linky's the one that always keeps us together… and now..."

When they all started to sob, Lincoln ended up wishing for the big table to be again in that terrible silence.

* * *

The last time he had been facing that door, it had taken him almost ten minutes to gather the courage to ring the bell. This time he had his moment of doubt, too, having to take a couple of seconds to think about his words. Even so, he was quick to press the button, soon hearing the digital melody of the doorbell ringing inside the house. He heard a few steps getting closer and he took a deep breath, just as the entry door was opened.

"Oh my God, Lincoln! Harold, Harold, come here, Lincoln's at the door!"

Answering his husband's call, Harold McBride and his blue sweater quickly got to the entry door.

"Lincoln!" Said the robust man, getting closer and lifting the boy up almost a feet in the air on a soft embrace.

"Good afternoon, Mister McBride", greeted Lincoln, being now hugged by Howard.

"Oh, Lincoln, why didn't you let us know you were coming? We would've prepared you lunch!" Howard lamented.

"Don't worry, I already ate at my house… kinda", said Lincoln, trying to keep the bitter memory of the big table out of his tone.

"Then we'll get you some dessert!" Quickly said Harold, dashing to the kitchen.

Without giving him any time to answer, object, thank or even think about what to say, Howard grabbed Lincoln by his arm and guided him straight to the living room, sitting him in front of the coffee table. He started to get everything ready, moving some of the decorations and architecture magazines on the spotless table and fixing some of the sofa cushions.

"Excuse the mess, Lincoln, we weren't expecting visits."

"Don't worry, Mr. McB", said Lincoln, sitting on the sofa and taking off his backpack.

Howard saw that.

"Oh, let me take it to the storage to-"

"No!" Lincoln interrupted him, hugging the backpack tight against his chest. "I-I mean… Don't worry, just… It's just..."

Clyde's dad looked at him confused for a couple of seconds, but he quickly regained his serenity.

"You can have it here too, of course, that's not a problem", he softly said, looking intrigued at the backpack.

"Thank you… And, uh, shouldn't Clyde be home from school by now?" He asked, relaxing a bit and looking at the wall clock.

Howard looked in that direction too, and Lincoln could see the worry in his eyes.

"His classes were over a little over half an hour ago. He should be here already, but… he's… lately, he's taking his time to come back home."

Harold's arrival broke the awkward silence that was formed between the boy and his best friend's dad. Harold put a tray on the coffee table in front of Lincoln, and even though he had just had lunch he couldn't keep his mouth from drooling at the sight in front of him. Several portions of cake, recently baked cookies with chocolate chips, sweet doughs… It all looked delicious.

"Please, eat as much as you want", offered Harold, moving the tray closer to Lincoln before sitting beside his husband, "and if you stay hungry just let us know and we'll prepare you more."

"Wow, I, uh… Thanks a lot, Misters McBride."

They told him not to worry about it, and right then it would not only be rude to reject the food they had prepared, he was actually really excited to taste those cookies. Lincoln put his backpack aside and grabbed the first one. The fragrance of recently cooked doughs made him close his eyes. He loved all the food the McBrides cooked. It was always delicious.

As he ate the cookies and tried a little of the amazing cake they had prepared for him, he pretended not to notice the nervous looks Clyde's dads were interchanging between them and the whispering they tried to hide from him. He didn't know what they were talking about, but he could make an educated guess and say that it was somehow related to him.

He had the faint hope that they might not start a conversation about him.

"Lincoln?"

Dang it.

"Yes, Mister McB?" He asked, taking the last mouthful of the cake and leaving the empty plate on the table.

"We… I…"

Howard looked at Harold, his lips trembling and his defenses threatening to give in already. Harold put a hand on his couple's back and reassuringly rubbed it.

"Lincoln, we know you're not… going through an easy time", he started, his deep voice filled with emotion, in a whisper that was trying really hard to relax Lincoln, to let him know that he was in a safe space. "And we don't want to cause you any additional trouble. We don't want to make this even harder for you."

A small part of Lincoln, the most exhausted and desperate part of him, the one part he was trying so hard to conceal, tempted him to let out "a _nd yet..._ "

"But since you're here… We just wanted to thank you."

Lincoln suddenly stopped chewing. He was waiting for compassion words. Impotence words. He was waiting for them to tell him that it was all really unfair, that he didn't deserve it, that his family didn't deserve it. He was waiting for some words of encouragement, to be told that he could count on them for anything he might need. But that they'd be thanking him? That wasn't really in his considerations.

"Thank me? Why's that for?" He asked after finally swallowing what was left of the cake.

"For everything", Howard answered, finally finding the strengths he needed to talk. "Lincoln, you don't have an idea of just how much you've done for our family. You don't realize all that you've helped us with, what you've done for us. We never… we never told you, because this is not the kind of things you usually find yourself with the chance of saying. We always have time to ask, to be mad at someone, even to laugh or to have fun, but one rarely takes the time to be thankful. And we don't… we don't want to pass the chance to thank you."

To say that Lincoln was dumbfounded was a severe underestimation.

"You've always been there for Clyde", said Harold. "He was always an insecure boy, with troubles to take the initiative, you know? He always had difficulties to make friends… until he met you. In you, he finally found the friend he so desperately needed, and words will never be enough for us to thank you for that."

"I, uh..."

He didn't know what to say. His fingers were nervously drumming the sofa, as he tried to think of the right words he could use to answer to such… compliments.

"Thank you very much, but… I wasn't the perfect friend. I had a lot of fights with Clyde, over such silly things, and it was almost always my fault. And I… I also got him into a lot of troubles."

To his utter surprise, Howard let out a short-lived chuckle.

"Don't apologize for being a kid, Lincoln. That's how they are. That's how we all were. Don't you think that you were a bad influence on our son, because you couldn't be more wrong."

"You changed him, Lincoln", added Harold, looking at him with a serious look that seemed alien on the mellow, kind man. "You helped him feel more secure about himself, you helped him to not be ashamed of being who he is. You accepted him for who he is, and that… that is the most wonderful thing you can do for another person. To love them not for who they pretend to be or for who everyone expects them to be, but for who they truly are."

"That shows the kind of person you really are. Those little gestures speak for you. That's why… why you're such a wonderful little boy. And you didn't only act this way with Clyde."

To show their point, Howard and Harold grabbed each other's hand, both set of eyes fixed on Lincoln with an intensity that overwhelmed him, almost intimidating him.

"Never, not even a single time in all these years in which you've been a friend of Clyde's, not even in one of the dozens of times you've come to our home have you treated us any different. You never looked at us with a weird look, neither you went out of your way to be polite with us, afraid of offending us or anything. I don't think you understand how much that means to us."

"You accepted us for who we are, too", said Howard, fixing his red hair, "and Clyde has told us about how you've stepped up for us when other kids made fun of Clyde for his parents. That kind of support it's not something common, not even on the current times. The… the natural way you've treated us is… it's so t-touching, and I..."

Harold hugged his couple, reassuring him that it was going to be alright and letting him know the unconditional support he had for him.

"What Howie's trying to say", he continued, "is that having you along with us these years helped us realize that we can still dream of a world where we're not being segregated, where no one treats us like we're something different from what we are: two people that love each other a lot. In some way, you gave us our hope hack. And that kind of comprehension… that love… we'll never forget, Lincoln."

"You were like a brother for Clyde", said Howard, barely keeping himself from whimpering, "and… and y-you were like a son to us."

The words of the McBrides moved Lincoln on the inside. They had a powerful impact on him. He never had actually thought about it, but it was at that precise moment that he realized that the McBrides were definitely a second family for him. Always with the door open to receive him, willing to listen to him, to reassure him, to help him in each way possible. Lincoln had some aunts and uncles, but it was the McBrides whom he could really see as an extension of his family core.

He had never discriminated them or treated them any different. He couldn't understand those who did. He knew that some older people were born in times when people like Clyde's dads had the rough end of the deal, but he also knew a lot of kids his own age who did not seem to be as open as he was, and he simply couldn't understand them.

He couldn't see why some people made a fuss about the McBrides. They were two people in love, period. What was there to be judged?

He realized that, throughout these whole years, however, there was a gesture he never had with them. A gesture that they deserved just as much as any of his sisters or his own parents. Looking how sensible they were and after the beautiful words they had had for him, Lincoln stood up, walked until he was face to face with them both, and to the McBride's surprise, he hugged them.

The surprise was short lived, and soon enough Lincoln was tangled in an embrace as honest and sincere as any of the hugs he had shared with his sisters during this whole week.

When they finished the hug, Lincoln asked them if he could go and wait for Clyde in his room. The two man, profoundly touched by Lincoln's gesture, told him that of course, he could wait there. So, Lincoln delicately grabbed his backpack and went straight to his best friend's bedroom, the place he knew just as much as the palm of his hand. He remembered how just a little less than a week ago he had had to break the news for him. The boy hadn't taken the news in a good way, obviously. His spotless room ended up being a mess after the panic attack that had taken him to throw all his bookcases to the floor.

It looked now more tidy, yes, but it wasn't the same as always. Lincoln noticed it right away. On the cork board, where Clyde usually had his school schedule, reminders about his sessions with Dr. Lopez, that set of pictures of he and Lori that she had taken during that time when he had unknowingly been helping her get Bobby jealous, there was now a new set of things.

Pictures of Lincoln and Clyde. Tons of it. A copy of the school yearbook, with Clincoln McLoud as official members of the staff. His ticket from their first SMOOCH concert ever, the one they had gotten into with a little help from Luna. Dozens of the Ace Savvy drawings the two of them had made. Summaries of crazy comic book ideas, even their gigantic hand-written theories of how their favorite superhero could be adapted to the big screen in a live action movie.

Lincoln stood in front of the board for several minutes, mesmerized by it. Every picture, every drawing, every little thing hanging there had in it whole afternoons of fun. Years of friendship summarized in a big collage, a wall that, like Lincoln himself felt, could be used as a resume of his life.

His short life.

He didn't even hear when Clyde got home. He just saw it when his friend opened his bedroom door, yelled his name and ran to hug him.

"Oh, Lincoln, I was so worried! You didn't answer my messages!" He said, moving his arms back and forth on his friend's forearms as if to make sure that Lincoln was, in fact, there, and he wasn't seeing a ghost.

Lincoln felt suddenly guilty.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Clyde, I turned off my phone today and I… well, I forgot to turn it on later. I was just getting too many messages from the guys from school and I… I needed to be with my sisters."

Clyde painfully closed his eyes, softly nodding.

"Yeah, Ms. Johnson told everyone today. It was… it was awful."

"Honestly, I'd rather not know", Lincoln said in the middle of a sigh, before grabbing his backpack. "Hey, Clyde, there's something… I need to get this off the way as soon as I can. I… I have some stuff for you."

Without waiting for an invitation, he went to his friend's bed, moved some of his stuffed animals and sat upon there, opening his backpack and leaving it right beside him. Clyde quickly followed his lead, sitting next to him without saying a single word. After breathing in and convincing himself that this was the right thing to do —even though he had spent almost an hour locked in his room, staring at his mirror and getting ready for this—, Lincoln finally grabbed the first item from the backpack, making it tinkle with the movement.

"L-Lincoln?"

"Clyde...", he said, holding the book with both hands, staring at it with nostalgia for several seconds before extending his arms, inviting his friend to take it, "this is my coin collection."

Clyde's eyes were the only part of his body that was moving, taking turns between staring at the book and Lincoln's face. He was breathing hard, like he was getting ready to dive into the pool from the twenty feet springboard. It almost looked like he didn't understand what was going on. But Lincoln knew him very well, and he knew that Clyde understood the situation.

"I have all the denominations of sixty-seven countries, including the complete collection of North America, South America, Mexico, Western Europe, Russia, Japan, China, South Korea and Australia. I have started the page of another fifty-five countries. I still have a long way to go, but this is one of Royal Wood's most important coin collections. I've been working on this for over three years. And you helped me do this. Every summer, when you were traveling to other countries with your parents, you would always bring me as many coins as you could. And that's why… That's why I want you to have it."

He softly shook the book so Clyde would grab it, making the coins tinkle once again, like a heavy rattle. After Lincoln's insistence, Clyde had no other option but to accept the gift his best friend was giving him, taking his small legacy as a coin collector and holding it tight against his chest, like he would never be separated from it.

Before he could actually say anything, Lincoln took another bag from inside his backpack. Clyde gasped after recognizing what it was.

"I d-didn't… I didn't bring my whole collection because… I don't know… I have a small hope that Lily might grow up to like them", said Lincoln, opening the bag and grabbing the first comic on the pile. "But I brought the comics I own that I know you're missing to complete some arcs. I-I have the sixth issue of the Zodiac Saga, I have Ace Savvy volume four issue forty-five, where we find out the true identity of Aegis, the crossover between Ace Savvy and the universe of Dragon Fall X..."

"Lincoln, I… I can't… I can't accept this", Clyde complained, furiously shaking his head. "I can't… I can't..."

"Come on, Clyde, just take them", Lincoln pleaded him, putting issue forty-five once again inside the bag and handing it to him. "They're not gonna be of any use if they're in a bag in my room! This way… At least I'll know they're helping you to complete your collection. They're gonna be useful. Please… just take them."

"Buddy..."

Carefully, Clyde left the coin collection aside and, with religious admiration, accepted the comics. His fingers were shaking as he touched the bag with the care and softness he would use to caress a newborn baby. Clyde's glasses always made his eyes look bigger, working like a magnifying glass. And with his eyes zoomed like that, Lincoln could see almost to the detail the tears that were starting to appear on the corner of his best friend's eyes. He could see how Clyde was struggling with a lot of courage and effort to keep them from falling down his cheeks.

The easiest thing for Clyde would've been to cry, to let go of all the sadness he was feeling right then, but he was doing a big effort to be strong, and not for himself. He wasn't trying to fake a strength he didn't have, he wasn't afraid of showing himself as weak in front of his best friend. Clyde was being strong for Lincoln. Because he knew, or at least he intuited Lincoln's emotional exhaustion. He didn't want to be yet another burden for him, so he swallowed up all his pain, all the anguish and sadness he felt. He had to do it for his best friend.

A lot of people made fun out of Clyde because he couldn't stand horror movies like The Harvester, but right then, Lincoln saw Clyde as the bravest person he knew.

"I'll treasure this for the rest of my life", said Clyde with the faintest voice. "I'll put them in especial plastic bags to protect them. I'll take care of them."

"And I also brought my copy of _Super Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighters XXIV_ ", Lincoln said, turning around to open his backpack again, taking more time than he needed to take out the video-game, giving Clyde the opportunity to wipe the tears away from his eyes before looking at him again. "This one… I can't give it to you, some of my sisters use it every once in a while and I… Anyway, I'm gonna teach you all the final moves for every character, even the secret ones."

Once he grabbed the video-game, he threw the backpack to the floor and resolutely stood up.

"There are some that are really hard to do, and there are some others that you need to perform a series of tasks to be able to do them, like getting three critical strikes or not blocking even once."

He started to talk, really excited, walking in circles and trying, by all means, to make his enthusiasm to show on his voice given the excitement and joy the game, apparently, made him feel.

"Lincoln?"

"You'll see, Clyde, by the time I'm done teaching you all my secret combos you're gonna be able to win everyone", Lincoln continued, ignoring Clyde. "My forty-six victories in a row record against Rusty will become yours, believe me."

"Lincoln..."

"N-No, I mean, really, I'll teach you everything I know. There's this secret level at the Tower of Challenges that you can unlock if you win two fights in a row using your character's signature move four times each round, and-"

"Lincoln."

He couldn't keep ignoring Clyde when he stood up and stopped him by putting an arm on his shoulder. He let out all the air he was keeping inside his lungs.

"Lincoln… do you want to talk?" Asked a worried Clyde.

 _Dang it_ , Lincoln thought. Clyde knew him too well. He could read him like an open book.

"No", he softly answered, his voice suddenly losing all his excitement.

"Are you sure?" His friend insisted. "Look, just… you know you can cou-"

"Clyde", he interrupted, looking away. Maybe his friend had the strength and courage to keep himself together, but Lincoln was running out of either. "Please, don't… I don't need to talk."

He closed his eyes. It was all getting harder and harder.

"It's been a week now, and all I do with everyone is to talk about it. I don't wanna do it. I… I need to play", he said, feeling his legs starting to tremble. "Just play. Please, can we just have fun?"

He didn't see Clyde's reaction, but the long silence that followed his statement spoke louder than words.

"I'll get the console ready", the host of the house said. "Go there when… when you're ready."

Clyde went to the living room, leaving Lincoln standing alone in the middle of an empty room for several minutes until he finally could go to play with his best friend.

He had to go to the bathroom to wash his face first.

* * *

Lincoln's lengthened shadow was guiding him on his way back home as he walked by the driveway, softly kicking a little rock with each step.

After five incredible hours, he had been able to teach Clyde how to do every single final move, all the secret combos, how to unlock the bonus levels and the best strategies for each character. It had started as a lesson, with Lincoln demonstrating and explaining all the theory behind his knowledge of the game while Clyde took notes in a piece of paper. Luckily, after the first forty-five minutes, they relaxed a bit. The next hours were much more fun. They laughed, they joked, they insulted the console when it beat them in a double fight and they even cried from laughter when a bug after a final move moved Muscle Fish's head to his armpit. All of this while eating the seemingly endless supplies of homemade cookies that Clyde's dads handed to them. During those hours, Lincoln was a normal kid once again, finally having some fun with one of his friends.

On his way back home, however, he started to feel miserable again. And that made him feel like a piece of trash. He shouldn't be walking slowly just to delay the time he would have to get inside his own home. He shouldn't be feeling like he was going to a hostile place. He shouldn't feel like he was getting closer and closer to a place where he would only be reminded of all the pain he had inside him. For God's sake, that very same morning they all had fun playing _Life_ , and he had had an awesome time. This week had been awful for him, but it had also given him the chance to share good bonding moments with his sisters. Moments of a true fraternal union, when he was able to get to know them better than ever before.

He remembered bunking with Luan, with Lynn, with Luna. The deep talks they had shared. He remembered Leni and Lori's hugs. To have Lana sitting on his lap and Lola hugging him from behind. By the time he got home, he somehow had managed to barely lift his spirits up, just enough so he could fake a convincing smile as he got inside the house.

Surprisingly enough, the house seemed to be actually louder than these last few days. It wasn't the usual chaos in which he had grown up, but after a week living in a house that almost sounded like a regular home, the noise was oddly comforting.

The low level was pretty much empty, though. The dining room was empty, the kitchen lights were off, and there was only one person in the living room, where the TV was on with the volume high up. Luan was sitting on the couch and had her computer on her lap. She looked really focused on what she was seeing on the screen. She seemed to be pretty much alright, but her dropped shoulders, her swollen eyes and the box of tissues on the floor were enough to help Lincoln realize that she was not okay.

Ever since that Thursday night when they had had that deep talk, Luan had been one of the sisters with which Lincoln spent the most time with. Unfortunately, and making him feel slightly guilty, most of the time they had together could hardly be considered quality time between them. They weren't playing, they weren't having fun. One of his more ambitious final projects —that had one of the top spots on his objective lists— could only be completed with Luan's help, and every day they dedicated at least one hour to make some progress on it. He knew that he wouldn't be alive to see the end of the project, but that was not the point. All he needed to do was leave enough material for Luan to work with, so she could be the one to finish it.

His sister, of course, was helping him with pleasure. She tried to conceal how painful it was for her to be a part of such an important thing, his last goodbye, but he knew he had her full support. Still, Lincoln couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. She wasn't his assistant. She was his sister.

"Hey, Luan", he greeted her as he walked into the living room.

Only when she didn't turn around to look at him did Lincoln realize that she had her small headphones. Taking advantage of the invisibility his sister's headphones granted him —a small trick he had learned in his years of sneaking around his sisters— he went behind the sofa. He wanted to know what Luan was watching.

Of course, he should have known that it was homemade videos. Judging by the few seconds he saw, it was a recording from his last birthday, his eleventh birthday. He saw when he had blown the candles, seconds before Lynn grabbed him by his nape and buried his face on the cake, to everyone's amusement.

Luan started to chuckle.

"That wasn't hygienic at all", said Lincoln from behind her, removing her headphones from one of her ears.

She quickly closed her computer and turned around to look at him, evidently happy to see him again, but extremely nervous for being caught up like that.

"Lincoln! I-I didn't hear you coming", she said, quickly rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Are you busy?" Asked Lincoln, jumping the back of the sofa to fall heavily next to his sister.

Luna put her computer on the coffee table.

"No, no, I was just… So, uh, do you want to continue with…?" She looked right and left to make sure that no one else was in the living room with them. "... _the project_?"

"Actually", he said with a smile, "I was thinking that maybe we could go to the kitchen to practice with your pies. I think I have just the right idea to improve the cream's consistency."

Her open eyes, her stillness, and her teeth made her look like a hare on a route, petrified by the light of an incoming car.

"Really?" She asked, somewhat confused. "Don't you wanna do something more… a little more…?"

"I don't think there's anything that would make me happier right now than cooking with my beautiful big sister while she makes me laugh with her amazing jokes", he interrupted her, smiling the whole time.

His phrase went dangerously close to the tenderness limit she could support without breaking down. Fortunately, Luan's reaction was to stand up, lifting him from his armpits, squeeze him against her and grab his hand as she guided him to the kitchen.

"To be honest, cooking is not my thing, but I'm pretty happy with the way my pies turn out, Linc", she joyfully said, sounding more like the Luan he loved. "I've been perfecting this recipe for years now."

" _Pl-ease_ , Luan, you're talking with the King of Souffle."

"We'll see about that."

"Hey, I always wanted to know, who started with the pie to the face gag?"

Luan stopped dead in her tracks and gave Lincoln an intense look, with an arched eyebrow and a big smile on her face.

"Oooh, Lincoln, you do NOT want to ask me about comedy history", she warned him.

Lincoln imitated his sister's expression.

"Actually, I do", he confidently answered.

Luan let out a surprised chuckle.

"Man, you don't know what you just got yourself into, Linc!"

As he was dragged into the kitchen, Lincoln smiled to himself. He was very aware of what he'd gotten himself into.

* * *

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"I don't feel comfortable with this."

"Come on, I know you all wanted to be on the other side at least once."

"Well… yeah, but..."

"Don't worry, Lincoln, I do this everyday."

"If… if you say so..."

Lincoln prepared his arm. He calculated the distance. He thought about the force he needed to apply. Finally, after making sure that he couldn't really hurt her, he breathed in and threw the pie right into Luan's face.

The sound of cream impacting against her face, crushing and splattering in all directions was magnificent. It seemed like a sound effect out of a cartoon movie. Luan flinched backward with the impact and took both hands to her face, grabbing the base of the pie and taking it away. Lincoln couldn't stop himself from bursting into a hysterical laughter after seeing his sister's face completely covered in cream. As she used her fingers to wipe her eyes clean, Luan started to laugh too.

"Amazing! You were right, Lincoln, this cream is much better. It makes the hit a lot softer and it splatters everywhere, this is a lot more visual", she explained with a smile, looking at the kitchen's floor tiles covered in cream.

Lincoln got closer and took a little of the cream on her face with his fingers before tasting it.

"And it tastes really good too", he said, feeling proud of his recipe.

Surprising him, Luan took advantage of the closeness between them two to give him a quick kiss on his cheek, covering half his face with cream in the process.

"Luan!" He complained, although he couldn't repress a smile on his face, especially when she started to laugh. "Don't do that."

His complaining only made Luan laugh even harder. He went to the sink to wash his face clean. As he was there, splashing some water on his face, he saw through the window a figure sitting in the backyard. He stared at her for a couple of seconds before closing the water and turn around to look at Luan.

"This was really funny", he told her, handing her the same towel he used to dry his face off.

Luan noticed Lincoln's tone of voice and she understood that their time together was about to end, and her smile gave in a little.

"Yes. It was", she simply said, accepting the towel. "Thank you."

Because she had the towel against her face, she missed the moment when Lincoln wrapped his arms around her waist. She was taken by surprise, and she could barely return the gesture before he drew away.

"See ya later!" He told her, leaving to the backyard.

Once he was outside, Lincoln was received by the afternoon breeze, much colder than just a while back, before he got back to his house. The black clouds were still covering most of the sky. The cold, the clouds, the wind, everything seemed to indicate that Royal Woods was getting ready for a strong rain. None of that seemed to matter to Lynn. She was sitting against the tree, with her punching bad resting beside her. There were no signs of her gloves anywhere near her. Lincoln started to walk near her. She looked up after hearing footsteps approaching her, and the two of them exchanged a long stare. Lynn then looked elsewhere when Lincoln sat right next to her, his shoulder brushing hers as he slid down.

He was looking for the right words to start talking. He had already had the opportunity to talk with her in a long afternoon, to share a real bonding talk with his older sister. He assumed that repeating the same things he had told her wouldn't be of much use. Luckily for him, she spoke first, breaking the silence.

"Polly wanted me to tell you that… that she's really sorry. And that she never had the chance to tell you how much fun she had with you that night at the Sadie Hawkings dance", she said, letting out a small chuckle, although it didn't feel like she was saying something funny. It felt like a laugh drowned by her feelings. "She says she had never found a boy that could keep up with her stamina."

"I guess I was trained by the best", Lincoln said, making her smile. "So… she knows."

"She, Margo, Emma and… and Francisco", she added, with a dreamy look in her eyes, "they all came to see me this afternoon", she said, and now her dreamy eyes adopted a dreary look. "Some found out at school… others when I told them that I'm taking a time off from all my teams."

"You left your teams?" Lincoln asked, slightly worried.

His sister looked at him with an angry expression.

"Of course I left them, you dummy", she told him.

She dissimulated her insult by stretching her arms and putting her hand over her brother's, gently stroking it with a tenderness unusual on her.

"At least for now. They consume a lot of time from me", she explained. "Besides, I don't want to… I don't wanna lose control again..."

Lincoln squeezed Lynn's hand and she let out a groan of pain. Surprised, he realized that she was barely moving her wrist. His mind filled in the blanks.

"Lynn, can I ask you a favor?" He asked, absolutely serious.

"Anything", she quickly answered, turning her head around to see him.

Lincoln moved so he was now kneeling right in front of his sister, still holding her hand.

"You're hurting yourself", he told her. "I saw you this morning with ice on your wrist, and I remember the wristband you had to use last week. Lynn, please, stop hurting yourself. Don't- Hey, look at me. Look at me."

Risking being punched in the face by her, Lincoln put a hand under her chin and made her, with a soft, gentle push, focus her eyes on his own. He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Lynn, promise me that you won't keep doing this."

"Lincoln..."

"I don't want you to overdo yourself, to get you hurt. Don't, please. It… it really makes me sad."

Lynn started to have difficulties breathing, trying her hardest to contain her crying.

"An injured wrist hurts less than… this", she confessed in a whisper, with a hand pressed against her chest.

"Lynn… you're not alone. I know you never were the most… open girl when it comes to sharing your feelings, but this… well, this is some heavy stuff", he told her, trying to find the right words. "You don't have to be the tough girl. Nobody can always be strong. I'm still here, you can still come to see me whenever you feel bad, and… and when you can't, you'll have nine other sisters with which you'll be able to… talk, or just be with them."

Lynn released him and used her hands to cover her eyes.

She was silent, but Lincoln had no doubts of what was going on behind her hands. He leaned against her and hugged her, letting her let on her feelings. To cry all her worries out. Lincoln, better than nobody else, knew what keeping your emotions bottled up inside you could cause. That's why he made sure that his sister, unlike him, could count with someone to rely on. Someone to share the pain with.

He hugged her for ten more minutes as she cried in silence. He didn't say anything, he just embraced her. They've been through a similar thing a few days ago, so there was nothing to be added. Not for Lincoln, at least.

"I'm s-sorry", Lynn said.

"I forgive you."

She let out a bitter laugh.

"You don't even what I was apologizing for."

"That wouldn't have changed my answer."

She snuggled against him even more.

"God… this is what really pisses me off", she said, not caring about the language she was using in front of her little brother. "Always forgiving. Never getting angry."

"I'm not a Saint, Lynn", he said with a smile. "You know that as much as I do."

She didn't say anything else. She remained in silence, a somewhat uncomfortable silence that Lincoln was quick to interpret.

"What did you want to apologize for?" He asked.

Lynn sighed.

"Everything. So many things… So many times I hit you… So many pranks I pulled on you… All the times I got mad at you for no reason… Lincoln, seriously, I'm really sorry. What I did to you that time… with the bad luck stuff..."

"You already told me you were sorry and I forgave you for it. That was months ago, haven't you get over it yet?"

"I thought I had… I thought it was okay, but it's not", she painfully admitted. "I know you've told me that you forgive me… and… and I believe you when you say it. But the fact that you can forgive me so easily makes me feel even worse. Besides..."

"What?" Asked Lincoln after a prolonged silence.

Lynn once again looked right into Lincoln's eyes. Her red eyes, slightly swollen, were now looking at him with renewed emotion.

"Every time I felt bad about it... I always told myself that I w-would... that some day I would repay you... That some day I would start treating you better. Every time I made fun of you or forced you to play with me I'd think ' _Next time I'll treat him better, another day it'll be_ '. And... and for taking so long... "

She used her forearms to wipe the tears from her eyes, trying to get a good look at her brother.

"I never treated you well. I never told you this. B-But I want you to know: you're the best little brother in the world, and… and you didn't deserve a sister that would treat you like that."

It was now Lincoln who started to have an itch in his eyes. He blinked, gave her a wide smile and hugged her again. Lynn was incredibly stubborn, almost unbearably naive. She couldn't even forgive herself for things he had long forgive her since. She was blaming herself for things he understood about her, things he even loved about her. And most importantly, she had the crazy idea that he might believe that she didn't love him. She was afraid that he might think of her as a bad sister. When the truth was that, even with all her rough playing, her toughness and lack of touch, Lynn was as perfect for Lincoln as any other of his sisters.

"I would change absolutely nothing about you, Lynn", he told her, stroking her back. "I love you just the way you are. And the fact that you're telling me this right now is more than enough. We still have time to play, to have fun, and… well, to do sibling stuff. I'm free right now. What do you want to do?"

The old Lynn, the Lynn he knew from his whole life, would've probably suggested lucha libre, soccer, baseball or a parkour circuit in the house. Lincoln knew, though, that he wasn't talking with the old Lynn. There was no denying it, something had changed in his sisters, no one was the same person they were before. He assumed she'd say something else, something they could to together but more relaxed, adapted to his current condition.

What he didn't expect was for Lynn to look at him with sad eyes, to bite her lip and sigh. And of course, he wasn't expecting her to say what she said.

"I would give it all away, my sports, my trophies, everything just to have more time with you", she told him, breaking the hug, almost shunning from his touch. "But… I've already stolen a lot of your time for myself. The other day… later that night..."

"Wow, hang on a second, you didn't _steal_ me from no one" he started to protest, but Lynn shushed him and put a finger on his lips.

"Lincoln, I'm not the only one that needs you", she painfully said. "Lucy… you should check on her. Last night I was with her all afternoon, we even bunked in my bed. And Lincoln… I don't know how to help her."

Lucy. Lincoln was shaking just by thinking how his little sister might be feeling. How she could be coping with this tragedy. After that fateful Sunday when he passed out in the park, Lucy's reaction had been one of his major concerns. That really small talk on the junkyard had barely helped him understand what was going on inside her mind. The biggest conclusion he could make out of that was that Lucy, after all, feared death just like everyone else.

"I see", he finally said, considering his options. "Alright, if you say so..."

He stood up, ready to go back into the house, heading to Lynn and Lucy's room. He gave one last look at the athlete, who was sitting with her back against the tree and looking at him like someone saying goodbye to a family member at a train station. He just took two steps away from her before changing his mind.

"Come with me", he invited her.

"What? No, no, she needs you."

"She needs all of us. We all need each other."

"Lincoln… I know what you're trying to do but… Believe me, I know Lucy", she said, absolutely convinced of what she was saying. "She's different with you. She needs her brother, not me."

"Lynn-"

"Just go", she said, sounding a little impatience and highly soulful. "Go with her. Please."

Lucy and Lynn might fight a lot, but no one could deny just how much they loved and were worried for each other.

* * *

To find Lucy lying still on her bed was nothing new. One of her favorite hobbies was to play dead. In theory, it should've been a relief for Lincoln to see her like that. But the circumstances had changed, and Lincoln couldn't even begin to think that she was okay after finding her in a fetal position on her bed, with her poetry journal on the floor with several pages ripped off from it. She didn't move a muscle when he opened the door, nor when he got inside the room, nor when he gasped after seeing the state of her side of the bedroom. The only thing she did was stare at the wall.

Time to be the big brother.

"Lucy, are you alright?" He asked, more out of courtesy than because he needed an answer to such an obvious question.

Perhaps she believed it was Lynn who had gotten in the room and that's why she didn't even flinch, since after listening to her brother's voice Lucy visibly shuddered. She grabbed her pillow and pressed it hard against her face, probably to wipe it clean. She quickly fixed her bangs before sitting on her bed, facing him. She wasn't looking at him in the eye, she was more interested in her own black shoes.

"L-Lincoln", she said, doing her best effort to sound monotonous and uninterested. Trying to sound like her usual self.

"What are all these pages?" Asked the boy, walking carefully not to step on any paper as he got near her bed.

Lucy didn't answer. As soon as Lincoln sat next to her, she simply hugged him. In her eight years, Lucy had never been a girl of many words. To ask her for eloquence or to explain something to the detail during what was undoubtedly the hardest, most painful moment of her life was asking too much. And even though he thought it was awful that he would feel like this, Lincoln couldn't repress a small sensation of relief. To hug his sisters would never be inconvenient for him. He could and would do it for the rest of his life —which, actually, wasn't saying a lot—, he would gladly give a hug to anyone of them that would ask him to.

What he was having trouble doing was talking. Words. Emotive chats. It was impossible to avoid them, they were bound to happen. It was the most logical thing, and he knew he should expect more of them, it was obvious that he'd see his sisters in a vulnerable position and he would talk with them to try and make them feel better. It was one of his objectives, after all, to fix things up with his sisters. Recent experiences, however, weren't really encouraging.

Luan was still locked in her world of videotapes and recordings. Lynn was still pushing herself to the limit, to the point of hurting herself. Before going into Lucy's room he had quickly checked on Luna, just to find the rocker lying on her bed with her headphones at maximum volume. Even from the door, Lincoln had recognized the playlist. It was the same songs he had watched her listen to when the radio announced the death of that drummer from an English band she really liked. The same songs she had lost herself into for a whole week after her short fight with Sam.

He was just accumulating failures. All the talks he had with his sisters were emotionally wearing him out, they stressed him, reduced him to a bunch of nerves and pain. And the worst thing was that evidently, they weren't doing much to help his sisters. All his efforts were fruitless. That's why he was internally thankful for Lucy's silence. By staying silent and let him just hug her, she was saving him the colossal effort of coming up with the right words, explanations, and thoughts that wouldn't really do much in the end. He was saving time, but more important, he was saving a little bit of pain.

The best thing for him would've been to remain in silence and simply wait for Lucy to calm down. To try to avoid creating a new moment that would drain him once again. But Lincoln was simply incapable of doing that. With his scare sister in his arms, he couldn't just stay there and let her suffer. A voice inside him was screaming for him to say something about it.

"You can trust me, Lucy", he said, moving slightly back and forth, lovingly rubbing her arms. "What did you do to your poetry journal?"

"I-I can't-"

She was chocked by her words. He didn't rush her, he simply kept stroking her arms and back, giving her time to pull herself together.

"I can't do it anymore."

"You can't what?" Lincoln softly asked.

"Write", Lucy answered, burying her face in Lincoln's chest. "I can't… everything I write… Everything I can think of… I enjoyed my poems all my life, b-but now that I… Every time I think about _that_..."

All her body was shaken like a leaf brushed by the wind.

"I don't want to write more poems", she finally said. "They're supposed to help me escape reality. They should… they should help me get through tough times. They shouldn't make me feel this… this… b-bad..."

Lincoln was already trying to come up with a solution to this problem. His little sister loved poetry, she was such a talented writer, incredibly creative and with a tremendous potential. She couldn't resign to one of her true passions. This was very much like Luna trying to forget music so she wouldn't feel depressed for all the songs that reminded her of Lincoln. He couldn't let this happen.

He was starting to get a bit tired of the position in which he was holding his sister, so he moved a bit to get more comfortable. When he moved, however, he heard a sound. He found out a folded sheet of paper between the blankets. Lucy saw it too.

"T-That's… I tried to write something", she admitted.

"Would you mind reading it to me?" Lincoln asked her.

The silence and Lucy's impassivity told Lincoln that she wasn't especially interested in sharing it.

"Please", he begged. "I love your poems. I've always had."

For the first time since the previous day, Lucy sighed. It was music for Lincoln's ears. Lucy's sighs were an important part of his life just as much as Luan's puns, Luna's jams or Lisa's experiments. With trembling hands, Lucy grabbed the page and fixed its folds, trying to make it readable again. She stared at the manuscript and gave one last look at Lincoln.

He nodded to reassure her, and Lucy started to read:

 _No culpo al que no ve poesía, (I don't blame the one who doesn't read poetry)  
le temo al que al verla no siente. (I'm afraid of the one that sees it and feels nothing)  
Prefiero una lágrima fría a cuencas vacías (I'd rather have a cold tear than empty slots)  
que por callar llantos se mienten. (that for silencing cries they lie to themselves.)_

 _¿Y cómo sé que lo eterno es injuria? (And how do I know the eternal is an insult?)  
Si nadie otorga un minuto al reloj. (If no one gives the hour to the clock)  
¿Y quién protege al paraguas de la lluvia? (And who protects the umbrella from the rain?)  
Si nadie alumbra a la sombra del Sol. (If no one lights under the shadow of the Sun)_

 _Sólo soy huesos y piel… ¿en qué sucio motel (I'm nothing but skin and bones... in which filthy motel)  
debe haber los manuales de Dios? (are the manuals of God?)  
Si la vida es tener que aprender a firmar un papel (If life is having to learn how to sign a paper)  
que al nacer lleva escrito un adiós. (when you're born, saying "Goodbye")_

 _Si quieres la flor por su tacto, (If you love the flower for its touch)  
no ignores la espina ni el fruto. (Don't ignore the fruit or the thorn)  
Resumen de amor en dos actos: (Love summarized in two acts:)  
vestirse de blanco y acabar de luto. (Dress in all white and finish in black)_

 _No se pueden ver lunas brillantes (You can't see shiny moons)  
si no partes de la oscuridad. (if you don't start from the darkness)  
Qué infinito se torna un instante. (How infinite an instant may become)  
Y qué efímera es la eternidad. (And how fleeting the eternity is.)_

As soon as she finished reading it, Lucy hugged Lincoln once again. He wasn't the most clever kid when it came to analyzing poetry. He didn't understand much of rhetorical figures or metric, and his vocabulary wasn't particularly ample. He had trouble understanding some of the verses he had just heard, but even so, he understood the general idea. And he knew what was going on with her. That poem was an invaluable x-ray on her feelings.

"That was really beautiful, Luce", he told her, honestly impressed. "Really good."

"Th-Thank you", she said.

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"Yes."

"You're so good writing poems about what you feel. You're so amazing at it, you shouldn't stop doing it."

"But… what I feel right now-"

"What is it?" He interrupted her. "What is it that you feel? In this precise moment. And I know that it's been a hard day for you. I know you probably feel sad, furious, worried. But right now, speaking to me as I'm embracing you, what do you really feel?"

The little goth girl took her time to answer. She closed her eyes and started to take deep breaths. Lincoln felt every movement her chest made, every mouthful of air that went inside her lungs. It seemed like an easy question, but he knew it wasn't easy to answer at all. And more importantly, he knew that Lucy would understand what he meant. After all, she was such a clever girl. After silent minutes of pondering, Lucy finally answered him.

"Love", she simply said, turning her head to look right into Lincoln's eyes.

Finally, he allowed himself to smile. He tenderly stroked Lucy's right cheek.

"I've never done this before, but can I ask you to write a poem for me?"

"A… poem?"

"I know you like dark and spooky stuff, but if you're okay with this, I'd like you to write me a poem about our relationship. I want to know what my little cute vampire thinks of me."

When Lucy's face turned itself into a smile, Lincoln knew that he had fulfilled his older brother duty once again. To see Lucy smile had always been one of those little treats he could only have once in a while. In the actual context, that little, almost imperceptible but absolutely honest smile was all Lincoln could ask for.

"I will", Lucy said, still smiling at him before breaking the hug to pick up her journal.

Sensing that his part was done, Lincoln decided to leave the room. There was nothing else to do there, and his bladder was asking for relief. He started to walk in the door's direction.

"Lincoln."

After hearing Lucy's voice, he turned around once more. She had her journal pressed against her chest. Her head seemed to be still trying to decide whether she should look at the carpet on the floor or the wall to her left. She finally sighed and looked up, fixing her eyes on her older brother.

"I love you."

To say that he was surprised would be underestimating the situation. Just as it would be to simply say that those words had made him extremely happy. Lincoln, for some reason, was really touched after hearing her cute little sister, one of the most reluctant of the Loud family when it came to sharing her feelings, telling him something so exquisite in such a spontaneous way. Of course, he knew she loved him. They all loved each other, they were really close siblings, there was no doubt that they had strong ties between them.

Lately, however, Lincoln had realized that those simple gestures were starting to gain a lot of meaning.

He thanked her, he told her that he loved her too and then he quickly went to the bathroom.

The bathroom was his second little sanctuary in the Loud house beside his own room. While it was true that he had to share that bathroom with ten sisters and that therefore there was always someone asking in a rude way to hurry up, the truth was that everyone respected the privacy of the room. During his eleven years, the bathroom had always been a little refuge.

That's why, knowing he was protected from intrusions, he turned on the shower so the noise would muffle his desperate crying.

He cried for such a long time, not even knowing what was triggering said crying. It was an intense bawl that he was trying to control to the best of his ability. A weeping that came from deep within. He clenched his fists until his fingers started to hurt and his knuckles got white. He had to clean his nose at least twenty times, using a giant amount of paper. He wanted to grab one of Lori's golf clubs so he could start smashing and destroying the tiles, the mirror, the cases, everything. He tried to take a deep breath to get a grip, but every little gesture seemed to make everything worse.

The shower he had turned on as a facade to hide his crying ended up becoming a real one. Just the warm water falling on his face and his back managed to relax him a bit. And even so, when he got out of the tub and started to dry off with a towel in front of the mirror, he couldn't help to look at his face and feel completely drained out of his energies, to feel exhausted, depressed. Still, he was surprised to see that his eye bags had gotten notoriously better. They were now barely more noticeable than usual. He assumed that Lisa's "flu antidote" was somehow related to it. But even though the eye bags looked better and the wrinkles around his eyes were less, he noticed now his iris lacked some brightness. A spark that was now gone.

And finally, he looked at his hair. His pure ashen hair. For all these years, that hair had been one of his most outstanding aspects. Everyone knew him as the white-haired boy just as much as they knew him as the kid with ten sisters. The peculiar color had caused him a lot of troubles, those being bullies that would pick on him or some jokes in the school cafeteria. Still, Lincoln had always been proud of his hair. He thought it made him special. He was happy with his white hair.

At least he had always been happy about it until he found out that the color was a consequence of the tumors in his head. Now, as he stared at his reflection, the only thing he could feel was disgust. Fury. He looked to his right, to the case. All his sister's hair products were there. Dyeing, spays… and scissors.

He grabbed them with a shaking hand. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he grabbed a lock of white hair with his left hand, stretched it out and opened up the scissors. A simple flick of his fingers and that damned hair, that vile reminder of what was happening to him would fall to the sink and it would be gone. It was just a matter of doing it again and again. Over and over until he would be bald. People with cancer in movies ended up bald anyway for the treatment, right? He didn't have cancer exactly, but who cared. Everyone thought of him as a vulnerable weak child, why shouldn't he look like one?

His hair wouldn't have the last word. It wouldn't define him. He was much more than his white hair. Much more! He was…

What was he?

Who was he?

Who was Lincoln Loud really?

He suddenly let go the scissors, which fell dangerously close to his naked feet. He didn't realize he was shaking so bad. No, it wasn't worth it. Why would he do such a drastic thing? The hair itself wasn't the problem.

The problem was another thing. And that was easier to fix. He had the solution right in front of him.

Quickly dressing up again and with his hair still wet, Lincoln left the bathroom and opened the first door to his right. Never in his life, he had dared to come in unannounced, but he honestly didn't care anymore. That wasn't a worry anymore. He went inside the room and found his older sister sitting on her bed with some kind of magazine on her hands.

"Lincoln!" Leni screamed, startled by this presence, quickly hiding the magazine under her pillow.

"What was that?" He asked, surprised by his sister's reaction.

"T-That… it's… well, I..." Leni started to stutter, and Lincoln could see a drop of sweat appearing on her forehead. After a few seconds trying to form a coherent speech, Leni sighed. "Linky… I don't know how to lie. I never knew how to do it. If you ask me about it, I'll have to tell you and… And I really, really need this to be a secret."

Leni trying to hide something from him was new for Lincoln. She was too pure and innocent to have dark secrets, to be preparing an evil prank or to want to keep something good for herself. The fact that she was desperately asking him to not ask her any questions meant that something serious was going on. And of course, his curiosity was rocketed to the sky. He wanted to know at all cost what his adorable sister was hiding. Even so, he respected her privacy, and he loved her too much to pressure her after she asked him not to.

"Don't worry, Leni", he told her with what tried to be a smile. "But, uh, are you busy?"

"Not at all!" She said, suddenly happy as usual.

"That's great because I… I need to ask you for a favor. A _big_ favor."

Leni stood up, walked in front of him and grabbed his hands. She was carrying the most beautiful, joyful and honest smile Lincoln had ever seen.

"Anything for you, Linky."

When he explained to her what he wanted and why he needed it, however, not even Leni was able to keep her smile on.

* * *

An hour and a half later, Leni had called for an emergency sibling meeting in his room. They had, of course, dropped everything they were doing, Lori had gotten home as fast as she could, and Lynn even forced Lisa to leave her lab so she could assist to the reunion. Leni had summoned them, but she and Lincoln were nowhere to be seen. The twins were about to start crying from the anxiousness of not knowing what was going on, but right then Leni opened up the door.

Lola jumped over her and almost tackled her to the ground, while everyone else gathered around her and spoke at the same time. Leni was overwhelmed and a little scared, so Lori had to intervene and calm them all.

"Leni, what's going on? Why did you call us?"

The second oldest girl asked everyone else to take a seat. Her sisters looked at each other, confused, but they did it. They sat on the beds and the floor, still nervous, still anxious to know what was going on, where the heck was Lincoln. Leni stood in front of the closed bedroom door.

"Guys, Lincoln is okay", she said, making them all sigh in relief. Lola let herself be hugged by Lana. "He asked me for a favor."

"What favor?" Luan quickly asked.

"Let her finish", Lynn scolded her. "What favor?"

"See, he… he has… uh… like, doctors told Lincoln that his hair isn't white because of Pop-Pop."

"What?" Asked the twins. "What does that mean?"

"The lack of pigmentation in his hair is due to the action of the tumors restricting the correct distribution of melanin across all his scalp", explained Lisa in a rude way. She still considered her presence there as irrelevant and a waste of time, distracting her from her investigations.

"So… his hair is white because of the sickness?" Asked Lola, covering her mouth with her gloved hands.

"Why didn't he tell us?" Said Lana, anguished.

"He was sick for all these years?" Lucy, just like the twins, didn't know all the details about the disease that was killing her brother.

"Girls, girls, like, focus", said Leni, moving her hand in the air like it was no big deal. "The point is that Lincoln says that we never get to know how he really is."

They all half-closed their eyes.

"Leni, what does that mean?" Lori asked with a bit of caution.

"We looked into mom's old photos and we found Lincoln's firsts", she explained with a smile. "Before… well, before he got sick."

"Dude, you're killing us, tell us what's going on", Luna begged.

Leni smiled again and took a step to her right, putting her hand over the doorknob.

"Guys, I present you now our dear brother. Our _true_ brother."

She opened up the door and Lincoln got inside the room.

His sister's reactions were much more dramatic than what Lincoln had anticipated. They all gasped. They were staring at him without blinking, without breathing. They were petrified, nine statues of girls that were staring at something more shocking than Medusa's stare. What was in front of them was something unprecedented. Lincoln knew that his decision would cause controversy. He could imagine some of them angry at him. He thought some would tell him that that little thing shouldn't define him, that he was who he was beyond that detail. But in his vulnerable situation, Lincoln felt a lot better now. A small gesture for many, but it meant the world to him. He was nervous, though. He wanted to know his sister's opinions on the subject. Those were the only opinions he cared for.

"According t-to the pictures… this is me… this is how I should be", he said with a little bashfulness as he used his hand to comb his hair.

His brand-new recently dyed dark brown hair.

The first one to react was Lola. And her reaction was to start crying.

They all looked at her and Lincoln felt incredibly sad. He wasn't waiting for that reaction. He knelt in front of her.

"Hey, princess, what are you crying about?" He softly asked her.

Lola continued with her muffled cries. She was looking at him with almost adoration, with her crystalline eyes due to the tears. She opened up her mouth but she couldn't speak. Luan was the first one who managed to catch her voice.

"Lincoln… you… you dyed your hair", she said, not believing what her eyes were seeing.

"Yes. This is how I should be. How I should have been."

By now, Lola wasn't the only one crying. They were all shedding different amounts of tears.

"Leni and I used to say that you were own little snowflake", Lori said, looking at him with a sad smile and wiping the tears away from her eyes. "We always thought that it made you special… and cute… and adorable. If only we had known… Oh, God..."

"I like how you look now", Lynn hurried to say, also very emotional. "Lincoln, you look… you look-"

"Beautiful."

Everyone turned their eyes on Lola. She was still looking intensely at him, with soft trails of tears falling from her cheeks. Her lips were shaking as she tried to find the strength to talk.

"You look beautiful", she repeated, before her crying consumed her.

Lincoln hugged her. Then Lana hugged both her twin and Lincoln. Then they all gathered around him and started a group hug. They all cried and they told him just how much they loved him, that he looked really good, that brown was definitely his color. Lisa was the only one that kept her distance, taking advantage of the commotion to leave the room and return to her lab. Everyone else stayed with him. They were all really touched by the situation.

The only girl that seemed to be slightly confused was Lily. She was looking at Lincoln with curiosity, but she wasn't hugging him and she didn't give him little kisses. She was looking at him until Lincoln looked back at her.

"Lily, it's me, Lincoln", he said with a smile, taking her in his arms. "I know I look a little different, but it's me."

He could see the confusion in Lily's eyes. She looked around her, probably trying to find the source of the voice she knew so well, not realizing that he was right in front of her.

"Lily", he called her again, starting to get really nervous. What if his baby sister couldn't recognize him anymore?!

The baby stared at him. And in a completely desperate act, Lincoln have her a kiss on the tip of her nose, like he always did whenever he put her to sleep. Lily draw her head back from the surprise and looked at Lincoln with open eyes. She looked at him for a good ten seconds before she gave a smile as pure as a baby's.

"Inky!" She finally said, hugging her brother.

Everyone started to clap and to let out some relieved laughs while Lincoln hugged his baby sister and took that worry off his shoulder.

At least for the moment, everything was alright.

* * *

Lying on his bed and after spending some minutes brushing his new brown hair in front of the mirror, Lincoln tried to dial her phone. After an extremely busy day, where he had been with all and every single one of her sisters and with Clyde, he already knew what he wanted to do the next day. Or at least during the morning/afternoon. He dialed the number he knew by heart how and lied down once again, heads up, staring at his roof. He just had to wait ten seconds until they answered the call.

" _Lincoln!_ " Said the excited girly voice from the other line.

"Hey, Ronnie Anne", he greeted her, smiling out of nowhere. "Did I wake you up?"

His friend's adorable laughter made his heart happy.

" _Who do you think you're talking to, lame-o? No, I was… you know, thinking_."

"I was thinking about you too", he dared to say, knowing very well what he was provoking.

" _I n-never said…!_ " She stopped in the middle of her sentence. " _Yes. I was thinking about you. W-Whatever, how are ya?_ "

"All good here. How about you?"

" _Good, good._ "

It was odd for them to be facing a silence with each other Usually their conversations were really cheerful and entertaining.

" _Why did you cal_ _l_ _me?_ " She finally asked.

"A couple of things. First of all, I wanted to apologize."

" _Apologize?_ "

"These past few days I barely talked with you. I'm really sorry, honestly, it's just that my sisters-"

" _Lincoln, Lincoln_ ", she interrupted him, " _you have nothing to_ _apologize for_ _. I get it. Don't worry, honestly."_

His smile became even wider.

"Thank you."

" _And… why else did you call me?_ "

"Because I wanted to hear your voice", he answered right out of the blue, not trying to dissimulate his excitement for talking with her anymore.

" _L-Lincoln, I… I, uh… Dang it..._ " she said, and just by listening to her Lincoln could imagine her blushed face.

"I'd love to see you tomorrow. Are you free after school?"

" _Are you kidding me? Lincoln, come to my place tomorrow mo_ _r_ _ning._ "

"Really? But what about your classes?"

" _Don't worry, I can skip a day… or two, if you want..._ "

He laughed. It wasn't the first time that Ronnie Anne suggested skipping classes to make something fun. He was about to comment on what he'd like to do, but someone opened his bedroom door. He turned around and saw Lola and Lana, both wearing their pajamas, with their pillows under their arms.

"Lincoln?" Said the two in unison, looking at him with puppy eyes.

"Can we sleep with you tonight?" Asked Lana.

"Please?" Added Lola.

There was only one right answer to that question.

"Of course you can, you guys! Just give me a second", he said, pointing at his cellphone. "Hey, Ronnie Anne?"

" _I heard them, Lincoln_ ", she said with easiness. " _Go and get some rest. I'll wait for you tomorrow with a big breakfast_."

"I'll hold you on that!" He said, drooling after picturing those delicious waffles she had once cooked him.

The two of them laughed.

"Good night, Ronnie Anne."

" _Good night, Lincoln._ "

He dropped his phone on the desk and looked at his sisters.

"Come on, hop in", he said, moving to the middle of the bed so there was an empty space on each side of him.

The kids quickly arranged themselves, snuggling against their brother. Lincoln put his arms around the girls and brought them to himself a bit more.

"I love you", the two little girls said at the same time, before closing their eyes.

Lincoln smiled.

"And I love you too."

* * *

 _I'm super excited because we're so, so, so close to the end! Even so, with college, my job and several more responsibilities, I don't see myself updating this soon. My goal is to have the 21st chapter ready for the first anniversary of the fic, on August the 2nd (I think, lol, idk) So expect an update between a month and two from now. I wish it could be sooner, but I don't see it happening._

 _Thank you for your support. Over a THOUSAND reviews in only 19 chapters! So many views, so many followers, so much love from you guys… I am nothing without you. God bless you all. This story is for you._

 _Until next time, I'll see you later._


	21. A Trophy for Love

_._

 _I'm so sorry about how long it took me to update. Life, some accidents, college, and work have kept me busy. I finally bring you chapter twenty-one. I must say that even though this hiatus was worse for me than it was for you (if I had a choice in this, I would update every week…), it gave me time to see the story in hindsight and to get a better understanding of this final part, this third act. It's not that I've changed ideas or any plot core that I had already planned, it's just that these months allowed me to realize what's the best way to tell them. How to present them to you._

 _Thank you for the patience to those that had it. Thanks for the critiques to those who gave them to me. Also, thank you to those that are reading this. I'm pretty sure I lost around 80% of my readers with this hiatus and I understand. Again, sorry for taking so long. And I'm sorry I couldn't answer all the reviews I receive, I didn't have that much time. Rest assured, though, that every single review or message you send to me is read. Every single one._

 _After more than a year since it was first published, this fic has earned a place in my heart, and even though this sounds demagogue and you probably won't believe me, I can assure you that every single message you guys leave me here, in Tumblr, Discord, YouTube and any other social media means a lot to me. Thank you so much for your support._

 _I'll leave you with the chapter now. This isn't a sad chapter, it's pretty cute and it sets up a lot of things that will soon happen. Sad moments will come soon enough, but let's rejoice on the good stuff before going into some depressing territory._

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Loud House. If Nick is looking for a new Director/Executive Producer after what happened, I'm open to offers. Meanwhile, the show belongs to Nickelodeon, Viacom, and its rightful owners.

* * *

 **Chapter 21: A Trophy for Love.**

 **.**

Having the house to herself wasn't something new for Ronnie Anne. With a dad working long shifts at the hospital and a brother who had almost as much half-time jobs as he was years old, it was frequent for her to be left alone at home. She pretended that she wasn't bothered by it, that she could stand it. She turned on the radio to have some white noise in the background, she played her video games, she even went into Bobby's room looking for something to have fun with or that she could use to blackmail him into taking her to the park to practice her skateboard moves. When everything else failed, Ronnie Anne's last resource was to do home duties. Take out the trash, wash the dishes, clean her room, even the bathroom if that helped her get distracted until someone else could come home to keep her company.

That morning she cleaned up the whole living room, the kitchen and, just in case, her own room. Not because she was bored, but because she was expecting some visits. A visit.

Some days had passed, and yet she still couldn't fully accept the idea that Lincoln, one of the very few people she felt close to outside her family, was… sick. Dying, in fact. Her throat closed and her eyes stitched every time she even thought about it. How could it be? Why? Why him? Why now? She knew that life wasn't fair. If it was, the family picture she had in her room could be more recent and it would still show her whole family. Even though she was only eleven years old, she was familiar with the cruelty and injustice of real life. To acknowledge it, however, didn't help at all with the emptiness in her core.

Lincoln… She had never met someone like him. When she arrived at her new school, she always felt alone. Her old circle of friends had stayed behind, and no one seemed particularly interested in making friends with the rude, Mexican girl that dressed in baggy clothes and that liked to skate. It was their loss, Ronnie Anne told herself. Her first few weeks had been pretty tough, having to face kids that weren't precisely kind towards her. Turning into someone who would strike fear and that no one would like to mess with hadn't been her first choice. It had been the only way she found to defend herself. By becoming the one feared by everyone else, she earned herself long afternoons without bullies. The fact that it only left her even more alone wasn't really a problem for her. She was getting used to it anyway.

Everything changed when Lincoln Loud kissed her.

Before that, she had been picking on him for a long time. He was such an easy target! A nerd boy that hung with the dorkiest losers in school. It was her duty as a rude girl to deal with that type of kids. The truth was, however, that she also had some more personal motives to pick on that particular white-haired boy.

She had been eyeing him for quite a long time. He was pretty dumb, yes, but… somehow, he managed to be cute. She was embarrassed to even think in those terms, but yes, she liked Lincoln loud. Her awkwardness and shyness kept her away from him as long as she could. It wasn't only until he uploaded that video confessing his fantasies with Cristina that Ronnie Anne decided to start messing with him in a more active way. Maybe to try and get a little closer to him. Trying to get him to notice her, whether in a good or in a bad way.

It evidently worked, since after those first two kisses and the double date with their siblings, the two of them became very close friends. Secretly, so no one else would find out and embarrass them, but yes, very close friends without a doubt. He was definitely her best friend, someone she could trust, someone she could rely on. And yes, by now and after the reflections she had in the mall last week before finding out about his condition, she could say without a doubt that he had awoken new feelings inside her. Feelings deeper and more powerful than mere friendship.

Once the living room was presentable enough as to host a special visitor, Ronnie Anne headed to the kitchen. She had promised Lincoln a great breakfast, and under no excuses she would disappoint him. She still recalled that time when he had stayed at her home for breakfast after getting a second chance for them on the egg project. He had spoken with Miss Johnson so Ronnie Anne could get a second chance and avoid a bad grade. He lost the chance of winning a delicious breakfast.

" _But_ _that's okay,_ " he told her, " _because all I care about now is putting our family back together._ "

How could someone be so dumb and cute and the same time? Why was it that everything he said made her like him even more? What she loved the most about Lincoln was that, even though he was a dork and he messed up all the time, he would always find a way to fix things up. Always looking for a way to fix his mistakes. That phrase, "put our family back together" had melted her heart. It was like they had truly become a family for the rest of the project. Following Clyde and Penelope's example, the two of them spent the rest of the week together, taking care of the little egg from all harm, taking the time to also talk and get to know each other. Ronnie Anne had never felt happier. She was beginning to wonder if maybe, someday, that little family game could become something real. If there would come the day where the two of them could be together at last.

And now she needed to make her mind on the fact that her dream would never be possible.

It was hard, but she finally managed to focus on her cooking. She didn't want to think about anything else. She didn't want to remember everything that was going on. She allowed her mind to get distracted by the waffle's recipe and to make sure that they would look as tasty as humanly possible. To think about Lincoln had always been a cause of happiness, but now it only brought her pain.

So focused she was on what she was doing that before she even realized how long had passed, someone knocked on the door. Ronnie Anne suddenly found herself anxious. She ran to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror and to make sure that her hair looked alright, that her ponytail wasn't either too tight or too loose and that the sleeves of her hoodie were clean. She removed her apron and ran back to the entry door.

Already resigned to her fast-paced heartbeats and her shaking knees, she hesitated before laying her hand over the doorknob, closed her eyes to get herself ready, she prayed that it wasn't the mailman again —she had lived the most embarrassing moment of her life an hour earlier, when she opened the door without checking and jumping straight into a hug with a complete stranger— and finally opened it.

There he was.

"Hey, Lincoln," she said, giving him a shy smile and barely containing the impulse to wrap herself around him.

"Good morning," he greeted her back, biting his lower lip and looking sheepish.

For God's sake, why did he look so adorable when he was embarrassed? She didn't know why he was all shy; lately, and considering the circumstances, he seemed to have lost a few of his restrictions when it came to showing affection towards her. She assumed it was probably related to the fact that he was wearing a big baseball cap that looked at least two sizes too big for him, covering all his hair. Lincoln was definitely not the sporty type, and the cap looked comically out of place on him.

She would have made fun of him because of it, but she didn't do it this time. Her jokes on him used to be smoke screens to dissimulate the affection she had for him and how much she cherished him. Facades of feelings she wouldn't dare express out loud. Now she simply didn't need to conceal them anymore.

"Wanna come in?" She invited him, stepping aside.

He promptly nodded and stepped into his friend's house. After closing the door behind him, Ronnie Anne simply stood there, playing with her fingers and giving him an intense stare. He raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

Now that the door was closed, now that no one would see them, that they were the only two souls in the empty house, Ronnie Anne had no motives to contain herself. Without giving him any reaction time, she closed the distance that separated them, wrapping her arms around his chest, resting her head on his right shoulder. Carefully as to not hurt him, considering how fragile and scrawny her friend was, she squeezed him as delicately as possible. She wanted to have him close, to feel his warmth, his heartbeat against her chest.

When he hugged her back, Ronnie Anne felt joyous. It was hard to explain. She was still sad, sorrowful. The painful throbbing slightly on the left side of her chest was still there, turning inside of her like a cold knife, but even so, nothing else mattered. Only the sensation of loving and feeling loved.

Lincoln's arms had a firmer grasp on her than she was used to. She felt his hands closing on her hoodie, almost possessively. She didn't back away until she felt him trembling and heard him sigh, and even then she still left her arms around him.

"What's wrong?"

Lincoln closed his eyes and shook his head, smiling at her.

"No, nothing, I'm sorry, I just… Forget it. How are you?" He asked, using one of his hands to stroke her back.

A few more minutes and she would melt under his touch.

"I'm okay. I was waiting for you."

"Yeah, sorry, my sisters wouldn't let me go."

"O-Oh, yeah… Of course..."

"But I really wanted to see you."

His smile saved the awkward moment. Ronnie Anne couldn't help it but smile him back. Having him so close, it was hard for her to contain herself.

"I didn't know you liked the Yankees," she finally said, pointing a finger at the baseball cap.

"Oh, no, it's just a Percy Jackson reference," he answered with a smug smile like he was making a very clever joke.

She raised a single eyebrow and caused him to roll his eyes.

"If you read the books you'd understand it."

"You're the nerd, lame-o, not me."

"I thought I came here for breakfast, not to get discriminated for what I like."

"We can do both."

After that brief banter, they both started to laugh. It had been a fairly long time since Ronnie Anne had last felt so good, especially during the last week.

"Actually..." he began, quickly losing his smile, "well, I asked Lynn to borrow me this cap."

"Oh."

Ronnie Anne's arms released him from their embrace, almost without realizing it. She averted his gaze.

She didn't like to think about Lynn. She still had a bruise on her chest, and up until a few days, her jaw had been still sore for the right hook the older girl had landed on her. But neither of those things were what hurt her the most. Every single blow she received that afternoon had been deserved. She had earned them after what she'd done with Lincoln. She wasn't even angry at Lynn for beating the crap out of her, the girl was doing what every sister would do for a brother, trying to protect him. She didn't resent her. The wounds would heal soon, but Lynn's last words were still echoing inside Ronnie Anne's mind.

" _She doesn't deserve you._ "

She had spent several nights thinking about those words after the fight. What had she done to deserve someone like Lincoln? She had trouble understanding it. The more she thought about it, the more she felt like she had caused him more trouble and bad moments than happy memories and experiences. Yes, they had spent wonderful afternoons in the arcades, watching movies and simply talking with each other. Even so, she felt like the pranks and all the bad moments completely out-weighted any kind act she had had with him. The worst part of her guilt was that she knew that if she told him how she felt, Lincoln would tell her that she shouldn't have to worry, that he liked her just the way she was.

And that would only confirm that he was too good for her and that, just like Lynn said, Ronnie Anne didn't deserve him.

"Lynn doesn't hate you. You know that, don't you?" Lincoln suddenly asked, boasting his psychic abilities.

"Maybe she should," she grimly whispered.

"Oh, come on. She was… sensible," he cautiously said. "Give her time, I'm sure that sooner or later she'll apologize to you. She's stubborn, dude and somewhat violent, but I'd trust her with my life, and I can assure you that she's, in fact, a kind, sensible girl on the inside. Just like you."

Lincoln's funny tone made her look at him in the eye.

"I told this to her the other day, but I think you two could be very good friends if you gave each other a chance."

She thought he was kidding to try to make her feel better, but there was something in his voice that told her that he was being completely serious about this whole deal. She and Lynn? Friends?

Pfft.

"But listen, I… Well, I need to show you something," Lincoln said after a long pause.

"What is it?"

He stepped back. His eyes moved to the floor as he bit his lower lip and dried the sweat of his hands on his pants. The only time she had seen him so nervous had been when the two of them went to the community pool and she had forced him to jump on the highest trampoline. She started to feel anxious too.

"It's… okay, I don't know if you'll like this, but… I… I don't want to have more secrets."

Now she was positively scared.

"Lincoln, what is it?"

To her confusion, he raised a hand to his head. He quickly removed the baseball cap, and Ronnie Anne suddenly understood.

"L-Lincoln..." she let out, staring at him with her mouth agape, trying to find any excuse to what she was seeing. The lightening on the room, maybe some mud, perhaps she was too tired, but nothing that could convince her that what she was seeing wasn't real.

Lincoln's hair was no longer white.

"Wow, that's… You look good," she said, still trying to walk out of her shock. "But, what happened?"

One of his hands went up to his head to ruffle his hair after being trapped under the cap. It was an absolutely bizarre view. Like he was someone different.

"It's… well… it's complicated."

After the initial impact of seeing Lincoln like this faded away, Ronnie Anne became aware of how anxious her friend looked. She had many, many questions. Something like this couldn't be tossed aside, but the last thing she wanted to do was to make him feel bad or make it awkward for him. She swallowed up everything she wanted to say and instead put on her best smile.

"Tell you what, how about we go and have a nice breakfast and you tell me all about it afterward? I left the waffles in the oven so they wouldn't get cold."

At the prospect of having a delicious breakfast, Lincoln's anxiousness abandoned him, and he was able to smile again.

"Sounds like a plan!" He agreed, turning around and walking into the kitchen.

Ronnie Anne followed him, happy to see him so excited.

She kept glancing at his hair all the while.

* * *

"This is the best breakfast I've ever had in my life!" Said Lincoln with his mouth full of waffles, having forgotten all types of manners.

"I know," she simply said with a proud smile, taking in a new mouthful.

He swallowed his meal and drank almost half a glass of juice to help the food go smoothly down his esophagus.

"You do know you don't have to finish it all in five minutes, right?" Ronnie Anne asked him.

"I can't help myself, these are just great!"

"I think you're overreacting. "

"Maybe. But I really, really like them."

"T-Thanks."

After his compliment, Lincoln averted his eyes from his food for a second to look at Ronnie Anne. Her eyes were fixed on her plate, trying to hide the smile that was now crossing her face and the blush that painted her cheeks. He smiled too. He wasn't lying when he said the waffles were great. But he might have just exaggerated a little bit to make her feel better. Being too kind had never hurt anyone, right? It's not like he was lying; he was being overly optimistic.

The two of them were sitting face to face on the kitchen table. The partially open window ventilated the place, letting in a nice breeze to fight back the heat of the oven. Clouds were covering the sky, but even so, the place had a warm, suitable atmosphere. If only he had been brave enough to have taken the initiative and propose these kinds of encounters before… He shook his head to toss that thought away. There was no point in regretting what he had not done. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to enjoy the moment.

Although to be honest, Lincoln would have been pretty much happier if Ronnie Anne wouldn't keep stealing glances at his hair every time he was busy eating only to immediately look away the moment he looked up again. That was the only thing that really bothered him. He wanted to believe that she was just waiting for the right moment to ask him about it, so she wouldn't make him uncomfortable. But what if it wasn't like that? What if she hated the change? What if she thought it was stupid? What if he told her his reasons and she didn't like it anyway?

Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't she be delighted with it? Why not even his own sisters had reacted the way he hoped they would? Only Lynn, Leni and Lola looked a little bit excited about his new hair. Why did no one else comment on it?

Did no one understand how fucking important this was for him?

"You know, this is the second time I make waffles for you, but you haven't cooked for me, not even a single time," Ronnie Anne noticed, derailing his train of thoughts.

Lincoln looked up, but she was busy looking at her fork. He sighed, relieved. For a moment he feared that she had seen his face as those thoughts tormented him. He put his smile back on. By now it was really easy for him to fake it.

"That can be arranged. But I'm warning you: after you try my breakfasts, you may stop being so proud of yours," he teased.

"You're setting yourself a very high bar," she warned. "Are you sure you're not gonna come short?"

"Do I smell a challenge?"

"Only if you dare."

Their little banter helped to turn his fake smile into an honest one. Ronnie Anne was simply amazing. She was rough, aggressive, competitive and she had trouble expressing her feelings, but Lincoln had an older sister just like her, and he knew that if one tried hard enough to see beyond the cover, they'd find themselves face to face with someone worth knowing, someone you could spend some wonderful times with.

His mind then remembered a little detail. Ronnie Anne's words reminded him of something.

"Hey, do you remember Toby?"

"Roshell?"

"The egg," he said, and they both giggled.

"What about him?" She asked, and Lincoln realized she looked… flustered?

"Oh, nothing. I just remembered that was the first time we had breakfast together."

"Yeah… it's true."

That apathy was the polar opposite of the reaction he had hoped to generate on her. His fist clenched around the knife. He just wanted her to remember a cute moment between them! Why was she reacting like this? She was supposed to smile, they would both talk about the project and the meal would be so much better. Not this. Now she was fixed on her plate, not paying him much attention.

How could it be that lately none of his plans, not even the simplest and stupidest of them all —like redirecting a conversation—, would turn out the way he expected?

"Hey," she called him, barely lifting up her gaze to look at him, "have you finished?"

Lincoln looked at his plate. There was still half a waffle in there.

"Yeah, I think I'm done," he lied.

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

Ronnie Anne stood up and walked into the hall. Lincoln followed her, eyes slightly squinted. What could she possibly want to show him? His interest spiked up when she didn't turn around into the living room, but she headed into one of the doors to the right. A sign that read "DANGER: NO NOT BURST IN" adorned the wooden door. He raised his eyebrows. Were they…?

She put a hand on the doorknob and, before turning it, glared him with a killing stare.

"If you make any funny remark I'll twist your underwear around your head so hard that the name you sewed into them will be marked in your forehead," she coldly told him.

"I don't put my name in my underwear!" He quickly retorted, very self-aware of the fact that he, in fact, did put his name on his undies.

His friend's smile let him know that there was no use in lying. She then opened the door and stepped inside. Lincoln followed her lead, and once inside, his eyes tried to absorb every single detail of Ronnie Anne's room.

It felt… odd, being there. He had spent half his life inside one of his many sister's rooms. Girl bedrooms were no secret for him. He had even been inside Tabby's room a few days ago. Knowing that this room was Ronnie Anne's, though, with everything she meant to him, he felt different just by standing there, knowing that he was experiencing her own personal space. He tried to catch every detail, every square inch. It wasn't precisely big, it seemed smaller than some of his sister's rooms, but having it all for herself, she had filled the place with her stuff.

The carpet was a strong purple, her favorite color. Several skateboards decorated the wall behind her bed, including one that was broken in half. The rest of the walls were covered in posters of different athletes, one of SMOOCH, and one from another band with some devil horns and a lightning between the letters. Luna would probably recognize it. The closet door wasn't open, but there were Christmas lights hanging from it around several family pictures. He couldn't inspect them closely, but a quick look told him that Ronnie Anne seemed to have a big family too. Her bed had nothing special, with only a nightstand to the right that had a light and a picture on it. There was also a desk with some books from school, and finally, a case filled with random stuff, such as even more pictures, her headphones, her video games collection, a little nest with Toby Roshell II in it, and what seemed like a piggy bank with some-

Wait a minute.

"Wow," he said, heading to the case. "Is that Toby?"

There were no doubts. That hand-drawn face, those funny teeth, that was definitely the same egg both of them had taken care of. Ronnie Anne most delicately grabbed the nest and carried it to the bed. She sat there and lifted Toby, inspecting him.

"I know it's silly, but after we were done with the assignment I asked Miss Johnson if I could keep him," she admitted, not daring to look at him in the eye. "It's hard to explain, but… I don't know, I guess I just got a bit… attached, or whatever. I don't know..."

Lincoln sat beside her. He extended his hand as if asking for permission, and she handed him Toby.

"I had no idea," he simply said, stroking the little egg before putting the same baby voice he used to talk with Lily. "I'm so, so sorry Toby Roshell, you must hate your papa for not being here with you."

Ronnie Anne chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure he knows his _papa_ loves him."

"Of course. I love all my family."

Family. That's how he had referred to them long ago. It was part of the assignment to act like one. And yet, even though neither of them knew it at the time, behind that game some very strong emotions and wishes were hidden. There was a hope behind the acting, the hope that it might not be as fake as it should have been.

Lincoln put the egg on the nest once again and turned his head to look at Ronnie Anne. Both of them were sitting next to each other on the bed, separated by one pathetic foot. Too many things were flowing through his mind at that instant. A mix of deep, complex emotions he was just beginning to discover. Emotions that he had felt before but that lately, just like everything in his life, had gained a new meaning. That tingling sensation in his stomach when he was with her. Those nerves that manifested in his sweaty hands and his trembling legs. All of that caused solely by Ronnie Anne's presence.

The silence between them stretched time. An instant turned into an eternity, or perhaps an eternity contained in a single instant. A look. A feeling.

He would've loved to be a little braver, enough to maybe smile at her, say the right words and turn the distance between them into nothing. He wished he knew how to react, what was right and what was wrong. He tried to come up with a plan, to think about what he should do. Change the topic? Reminisce about the homework with Toby? Explain to her that finding out about that new side of her had been the last push he needed to realize that he liked her more than as a friend? Or should he just skip all words and kiss her?

His moment of hesitation was all she needed, raising a hand and placing it on the boy's confused expression. That gentle stroke on his cheek lasted only a few seconds before Ronnie Anne's fingers slithered up, tangling themselves with the brown hair. He felt her fingers caressing his temples, and saw how his friend's eyes moved away from his and focused on the new color of his hair.

"I know you," she said, her voice soft and gentle. "You're nervous."

"N-No I'm n-not," he stammered. He thought she would make a joke about it, but she looked too worried to make fun of him.

"Why did you do it?" She asked, and she tenderly moved her free hand over Lincoln's.

He sighed. Of course, he knew he'd had to tell her. He was hoping that maybe she could figure it out on her own, that she could realize his motivation without him having to say it out loud. Evidently, that had not been the case, and he had no other option but to resign himself to explain it. Without diving into many details, he explained to her as clearly as possible the effects the tumors on his head had on the color of his hair. As he was explaining it, his eyes lost focus, and he was lost in his own thoughts.

He told her all about the previous day. About how every moment he spends at his house was both a blessing and a curse. He told her about the pain of his sisters, about how useless he was when it came to making them feel better, about his failed attempts to do something nice for them, to save them from their spiraling depression, about the desperation he felt for not being able to do anything right. He was slightly conscious about Ronnie Anne's anguished face, but he paid no mind to it. By the time he reached the point of when he found himself staring at his own reflection on the bathroom mirror, Lincoln was clenching his fists, trying to keep his emotions from exploding.

"I couldn't take it anymore," he confessed. "I was about to just cut all my hair, but… I couldn't do it. I didn't dare. So instead I asked Leni to help me dye it. So I shouldn't have to see it white ever again."

He had so many things to say. He could've explained to her how angry he was at the fact that his whole life had been nothing but a lie, that destiny had just pulled the best prank ever on him. A giant sign, telling everyone that there was something wrong with him, and no one had ever given it much attention. No one detected it when there was still time. He got infuriated just by thinking of that.

"I see," Ronnie Anne said after Lincoln's pause. "And how did your sisters react?"

She was blissfully unaware of the fact that she had just poured salt on the wound. Lincoln didn't really want to talk about it, but now that she had brought it up…

"I don't know. Leni was more than willing to help me, and she seemed to be into it, but… but I just don't know what to think of her. I don't know if she understands what's going on with me, or if she realizes how messed up this whole situation is. And I don't want to ask her about it because the truth is that we're having some great times. We play, we talk, she still treats me… she treats me like I'm still alive."

"Lincoln..."

"And honestly, I have no idea about what the rest of them thought," he interrupted her. "No one told me straight on my face that they disliked it, but they didn't say they loved it either. Only Lola and Lynn, but Lynn would say anything to make me feel better. I know them. They're my sisters, I know when they're trying to hide something from me, and yesterday during dinner… They would all stare at me when they thought I was distracted. But I saw them. I saw the way they looked at me. Just like you do."

He didn't mean to sound so aggressive. He didn't intend for his words to be so poisonous. It wasn't his intention that Ronnie Anne would gasp and look at him shocked and hurt by his remark. That's not what he wanted, but the more he talked, the easier words slipped his mouth, and the harder it was for him to control his emotions.

"Listen, I don't—"

"Don't try to hide it," he cut her again, turning his head away from her, frowning. "Ever since I got here you've been staring at me like I'm a monster."

"A monster? Of course not!"

"Then why do you look at me like that? Why won't you tell me what you really think?"

"Lincoln, calm down, it's not like that," she begged, her voice full of sorrow.

He didn't care. He didn't want compassion or fake smiles. This was important for him! The least he deserved was a little bit of honesty.

"What is it, then?" He asked, suddenly jumping up and standing in front of her, staring at her scared figure down below, and for the first time since they met, it was him who intimidated her. "Why won't you tell me what you really think?"

"I… I mean..."

"This is me! This is who I was supposed to be!" He yelled, roughly closing his fingers around his hair. "This is the real me! Why can't anyone accept me this way?!"

"Because you're such an idiot!"

It was neither the insult nor the sudden hug what startled Lincoln and brought him back to reality. It was Ronnie Anne's tears what extinguished the raging ire inside of him, for no matter how enraged, terrified, fatigued or depressed he was, a girl's crying would always wake his brotherly instinct. It was only then when he noticed his agitated breathing and how fast and hard his heart was beating, just like he had just run ten miles.

"You're wrong!" Ronnie Anne said, burying her face in Lincoln's chest, soaking it all over where her eyes would rest. "Do you really think this is you? That your hair defines you? D'you think we… we… we'd like you less because of it?"

"It's not like that," he replied, slightly surprised at her outburst. "I told you; I just couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror and fell like… And to think..."

He started to feel it. The void inside his chest. The itch in his eyes. The same emptiness that surrounded him every time he was home alone, that same depression that he tried to avoid by keeping himself busy with anything. Pushing that feeling aside required great concentration on his part, a conscious effort to never stop to think and find himself trapped in his own spiral of misery.

He didn't think it was possible to feel it around other people. Any type of conversation usually helped to distract him and keep him busy, happy, sad, angry, anything but that dreadful sensation of feeling a cold grasp around his heart. He shut his eyes closed and tried to control his breathing. ' _Not now, please_ ,' he pleaded.

"All this time, I… That... That white hair… It was all a lie! I thought it made me special! Different! But just… It just… It meant I was sick! Don't you get it? It was all an illusion, my whole life was a lie!"

"You're an idiot!" She yelled, closing her fists on his shirt, pulling him towards her. "A lie? A lie?!"

"It was!" He said, raising his voice to match hers.

Somehow, to be mad and scream helped him. It was easier and healthier for him to be angry than to stop thinking about his life. She then pulled back from him and stared at him with her mouth agape and hurt eyes. She let him go and took a step back, and suddenly it became all the more difficult for him to stay mad at her.

"So," she began, slowly, "you and me. Was that a lie too?"

A professional boxer could have hit him in the face with all his strength and Lincoln would have hardly reacted any different than he did after soaking in those words. On the bright side, he wasn't worried about his depression, mortality or the countdown to his premature end anymore. Those issues were no longer a worry for him, only Ronnie Anne's words tormented him. And it was hard to determine which hurt the most.

"I d-don't… I-I… didn't say that," he stammered.

"Everything we've been through, the things you told me, the things _I_ told _you_. The laughs. The jokes. The kisses. Are you saying none of that was real?"

"Of course they were real!"

"What about your sisters? All the things you lived with them. Was that all a lie too?"

"Don't say that!" He said, horrified at her words. "It's not like that! It's not…! I don't…! Ugh!"

He couldn't stand looking at her in the eye. He turned around and walked to the nearest wall. He pressed his hands against it like he was the only thing keeping it from falling down. He let his head drop between his arms, looking at the floor.

This morning wasn't going nearly close as he had wished it would. By now he shouldn't be surprised that his plans were failing spectacularly since lately everything he did seemed to turn out horribly wrong. He just wanted to hang out with Ronnie Anne, to talk to her, to laugh along, maybe play some video games. If he was lucky, he would have even tried to fulfill one of his objectives on his bucket list and kiss her. But he had never imagined that they would end up having a fight. No one seemed to get angry at him lately. For someone who had grown up in the middle of an endless conflict between siblings, it was strange finding himself out of any type of fight for so long. He didn't know how to feel about Ronnie Anne getting angry at him. Furious… or thankful.

"Lincoln," she called behind him, and now she didn't sound mad. "I can't imagine what you feel and what's going through your head right now. What you're living right now… I-I can't even say it..."

He guessed she was about to cry, and that's why she had stopped. He was about to turn around and go back into his comfort role. Leave behind all that was bothering him and concentrate his energies on helping her feel better. That was another way of distracting himself, a strategy he had been using with his sisters every day since this whole deal began, and so far it was working out alright. If he focused himself on making sure that everyone else was right, if he invested all his energies into bringing some kind of a relief to everyone else but him, then he could forget about his problems, fears, worries, and desperation for a while.

He was ready to turn around and offer her a shoulder to cry on to, but she was faster. Lincoln felt her arms closing around his chest from behind. He felt Ronnie Anne's chest against his back, and her forehead pressed against his neck.

"This sucks, okay?" She whispered in his ear. "It's… terrible. Horrible. I wake up every morning and I… I always think it was a just a nightmare, but it never is. But Lincoln, this… this doesn't mean that everything you lived was in vain. Your family will always love you. Clyde will remember everything you guys did for the rest of his life. And I… I'll always remember you too. Always."

His arms lost their strength and they fell limp to his sides. He remained standing on his feet, Ronnie Anne embracing him from behind as he soaked the carpet on the floor one tear at a time. They were like that for God-only-knows how long, until her arms made him turn around in his place so they would be face to face. Both of them looked terrible, with their bloodshot eyes and damp cheeks. He instinctively raised a hand and wiped a tear away from her eye. She closed her eyes for a second and leaned her head against his hand, prolonging the contact. When her eyelids opened again, it was her time to raise a hand and guide it towards her friend's hair, playing with a lock of it.

"I'm not mad that you've dyed your hair; I think it looks kinda cute," she finally said. "I'm just worried that you say that 'this is the real Lincoln' because that's not true at all. The real Lincoln isn't there..."

Her fingers let go of the small lock of his brown hair and slithered down his face, gently caressing his cheek, his chin, his neck, and finally resting on his chest.

"...it's right here."

This time he was the one that pulled her into a new hug. They both wrapped their arms around each other, holding the other one tightly as if they didn't want to ever let go. Lincoln had to use all his strength to avoid breaking down into a weeping crying, and he barely managed to do so. At some point, she guided him onto the bed, and there they stayed, embraced together until he calmed down a bit.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, breaking their union just enough for him to use his forearm to wipe his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't… I didn't want to..."

"It's okay," she told him, following his lead and using her hoodie to dry her cheeks. "You don't need to-"

"Yes, I do. All this… This… What I'm going through isn't an excuse to treat you like I did."

"You're wonderful, but you're still human, Lincoln. You have the right to be mad."

"Not at you."

"If you don't stop apologizing I'll give you a painful reason to be mad at me."

He couldn't stop a grin to appear on his face.

"Ronnie Anne, I'm really glad to be your friend."

"Me too," she said, his smile spreading on her as well.

They were still less than ten inches away, their arms holding each other, enjoying every second of contact. His mood haltingly started to improve. Having screamed, cried and pardoned, as strange as it sounds, had drained his energies and therefore calmed him down in the end. He still felt his heart numb, but somehow there was a little weight off his shoulders. Ronnie Anne's hands released him and they moved until they were over his, interlacing their fingers together, their gazes eyes meeting midair.

"It makes me happy to know that I'm your friend," she repeated. "Up until just a few days ago, that was all I wanted. All I was willing to accept. But now… I don't know if I can settle for just that."

Lincoln gulped, and his drool went down his throat like he had just swallowed a piece of a meteor. Even with his flooded mind, all the stress he was carrying on, and the fact that he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, he was still able to understand what she meant.

"Ronnie Anne… I, uh..."

"What do you feel?" She interrupted him. "For me."

Had his hands had been free, he would have scratched the back of his head, but Ronnie Anne had quite a firm grasp on him, and she didn't seem like she was willing to let him go. What did he feel about her? That was a big question. Not so much because of the answer's complexity, he had it pretty clear by now, but because he felt like he had to be extremely careful with his words. Given the situation, telling what he truly felt or thought didn't seem like the smartest move. Even if part of him was screaming that he should do it anyway and confess his feelings, even if his heart was beating twice as fast in anticipation, he couldn't do it. It wasn't fair.

"I really like being with you," he admitted, telling only half the truth. "You're the most amazing girl I've ever met."

"Is that it?"

For God's sake, those eyes! How could he lie to those perfect orbs, the brightest light spots in a universe that had been reduced to them and nothing else? All his anger, frustration, depression and anguish disappeared, buried down by a single emotion that irradiated warm waves all across his body to the rhythm of the heartbeats in his chest. Since when was she so pretty? Since when being with her had become such an intense experience? Why did he felt like his blood had been replaced with a scalding liquid that flowed within him, relieving his grief and making his worries seem harmless?

"Don't do this," he pleaded, trying to break the eye contact, to run away from her spell to gain back his consciousness and do not what he wanted, but what was best for them.

Ronnie Anne's hands found their way to his face and forced him to look at her. Her eyes were more intense than he had ever seen them before. She was known for intimidating even the toughest boys in school, but those eyes could have thawed the coldest heart. She pursed her lips for a second, setting up a bomb, and when she dropped it, it was all over for Lincoln.

"I love you."

Three words he had heard a million times before. His whole family kept saying that to him. Lori, Lynn, and Lucy were the most reluctant to speak to him on those terms, but they couldn't go longer than a few days without looking for an excuse to let him know just how much they loved him. It was such a commonly used phrase that he thought it might have lost the weight it was supposed to carry.

If that was the case, hearing it coming from Ronnie Anne changed his mind. It helped him rediscover the power behind three words. Eight letters. Less than a second to say them, but they were enough to cause a permanent impact to anyone on the receiving end.

He was dumbstruck. He didn't know how to answer, not even how to react. They had never been so… so open about their feelings. They always tried to hide them, conceal them behind uninterested attitudes, behind teasing banters that had no other motive than to keep pretending that they didn't really love each other. He could count on a hand how many times they had felt comfortable enough to show to each other a bit more than what they were willing to admit in public.

Not even in their most intimate moments, however, had either of them be brave enough to dare say that word. Love. To say that was a direct attack against the false **masquerade** they had set up about their relationship. It meant they were willing to bury the farce that they were just friends who enjoyed each others company. How could he answer to such a declaration?

"Ronnie Anne..."

"I love you, Lincoln," she said, every syllable drenched with emotion. "I never told you b-because… I don't know, I don't think even I was ready to accept it. But I love you, and I can't keep it to myself anymore."

"I-I… Wow… I mean..."

"Don't you feel the same?" She asked, interrupting his attempts to formulate a coherent sentence.

He wanted to escape that predicament. He wanted to come up with a clever answer that would give him time to recover from the emotional impact this conversation was having on him. He wanted to play it down. But Ronnie Anne's eyes were expectantly looking at him, waiting for an answer, and he just couldn't lie to her.

"Yes. I… I love you too."

The huge grin on her face was almost as relieving for him as the sensation of feeling that the weight of the world no longer rested on his shoulders. He didn't know just how much he needed to confess his true feelings to ease his consciousness. He didn't even know he wanted to admit it so bad! It was the same sensation he felt when he finally told her mom the truth about what had happened to her novel. Telling the truth after so long felt amazing.

Even so, a big part of him was still reluctant to this whole deal.

"Ronnie Anne, I do love you, but this… this isn't right," he said, almost in a whisper, his head turning away from her.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not fair."

Her hand grabbed him by his chin and moved him back to face her.

"Explain."

Lincoln sighed. Now that they were being honest with each other, she deserved to know what he truly thought.

"Look, I… I've felt like this for you for a long time, okay? A long, long time. When you almost moved to the big city I realized that I love you in a different way than I love Clyde, or Liam, or even Cristina and Paige."

"Paige? Who the hell is Paige?" Asked Ronnie Anne, squinting her eyes.

"My point is that you became a special someone for me," he immediately continued, "but..."

"But what?"

"It's just that I never had the guts to ask you to be my girlfriend, okay?" He finally admitted, opening up his eyes and glaring at her; it was her fault that he was telling her all of this. "I was afraid that you would tell me that you only liked me as a friend, and I didn't want to ruin our relationship. And you never said anything either!"

"You say that like you're reproaching me," she defended herself, her eyebrows pursed in an angry gesture. "You know I have trouble sharing how I feel… I'm not the best one showcasing my feelings, you know… And I also didn't want to ruin what we had, because I just loved it the way we were."

"That's my point," he pointed out, "neither of us wanted to take this to the next level. We didn't want to take it further. And now just…? Just because I'm dying we decide it's a good time to say we love each other? That can't be right! We can't just become a thing only 'cause I'm sick! It's stupid, it's-!"

Ronnie Anne suddenly stroked Lincoln's right cheek, and it was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped on him. The boy's eyes —which had lost their focus seconds ago and were looking at nothing— were drawn back to her face, and a sense of embarrassment invaded him. He almost went blind with rage again, unloading all his pent-up frustrations on her. If she hadn't calmed him with that simple, tender gesture, he would have started to yell at her for no reason.

Lincoln was worried. He couldn't keep acting like that. That was almost the third time that morning in which he had lost control. Why was he going through this lately? He had also gotten really angry at the twins the day before, and he wasn't proud at all for that. He was starting to feel always on the edge. He lived anxiously, everything seemed to be about to trigger him. That was not the Lincoln Loud he wanted to be, and the thought scared him.

Especially because the last thing he wanted was to make the people he loved suffer for him. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to chill out. Without him realizing it, his right hand moved and placed itself over the hand Ronnie Anne still had on his cheek. His fingers began drawing circles on the back of her palm, and ever so slowly, he managed to relax.

"I'm sorry," he said again, his eyes still closed.

"Don't worry. I understand."

He open opened up his eyes and saw how worried his friend looked, but he could also see on her face that she was there for him, that she really understood him.

"Lincoln, you're overthinking this," she calmly told him with a shy smile. "You're trying to find some logic to all of this. You're wondering if it's okay for us to say all these things now if we didn't do it before, if it's appropriate to do this knowing what's going to happen, and I know you're probably thinking whether this is the best for _me_ instead of us."

He muffled a snicker, but he smiled nonetheless.

"Guilty as charged," he clumsily admitted, and both of them giggled at his dorkiness.

"But listen, stop thinking so much, okay? Don't look for a logic behind this. Don't try to think of what's best or what do you feel like you have to do for other people. I think you owe yourself to do what you feel. So just forget about everything. Forget your… condition, forget the future, forget everything. Don't think. Just tell me, here and now, what do you feel?"

Everything. Lincoln felt an infinite amount of emotions. Desperation and anger for knowing he was going to die soon. Deception for his behavior on the last couple of days. A huge anguish for thinking about all the chances he had missed to be with Ronnie Anne without having to reach this point. Gratitude, because she was the only person that had treated him like a regular person this last week, the only one who had stood her ground against him and made him realize how much of a jerk he was acting like.

Most importantly, though, he felt love. He was only eleven years old, and he knew that he couldn't really know what real love was supposed to feel like. This was a new experience for him. But whether it was love or not, there was no denying that what he felt for Ronnie Anne was something incredibly powerful.

"I feel that I love you," he honestly answered her.

Looking directly at her eyes, he could see them starting to glow with the moist of tears getting ready to fall as she quickly blinked to delay them.

"And tell me, lame-o, would you like to be my boyfriend?" She asked with the warmest smile he had ever seen.

He kept staring at her. He found it funny that it was _her_ who asked _him_ to be her boyfriend, although that certainly summarized their whole dynamic. All those thoughts were tossed aside as soon as he once again began to consider all the implications this would have for what little time he had left.

"Don't think," she reminded him, "just say what you feel."

It was hard to follow that advice. What good could it possibly do to become an item if their relationship couldn't last more than a month? What was the purpose of that? His rational part was screaming at him that it was a bad idea, almost like pouring salt on the wound. His mind said no, but Lincoln decided to follow Ronnie Anne's advice and for once he listened not to his head, but his heart. And just by feeling the thundering beats inside his chest he knew the answer.

"Yes," he said, with a goofy smile. "I'd like to be your boyfriend. That'd be cool."

His frie- No, his _girlfriend_ laughed at just how adorable and dumb he could be, and with teary eyes, she hugged him once again, pressing her face into the crook of Lincoln's neck. He wrapped his arms around her and he had to admit that, after all, listening to his heart felt good. Really good.

The die was cast, he had made a decision that he couldn't take back now. For better or worse, the truth had been revealed, their feelings exposed, received and reciprocated. Whether that had been the best decision of his life or his worst mistake, he didn't know. The only thing he knew was that he had not lied when he said Ronnie Anne was a very important part of his life and that, even though he wasn't sure if it was love or not, what he felt for her was such an intense emotion that he didn't think he would regret accepting.

Holding her in his arms, Lincoln stopped feeling weak and miserable, he no longer felt that terrible pressure on his chest nor he heard the annoying voice inside his head reminding him that the hands on the clock he carried on his wrist were still moving, and what that meant for him. The only thing that mattered was the scent of shampoo on his girlfriend's hair, her breathing on his neck, and the two fingers she was using to play with a lock of his brown hair. It was only then when he finally understood what people meant when they talked about "their better half, because being there with Ronnie Anne, he realized that she completed him.

He almost felt bad when she moved away from him enough to look at him. When their eyes met, it was like a tender caressing, like their souls were touching. And as soon as her eyes darted barely down, onto his lips, he knew what to do.

"You were right. The other day, at the mall, I mean," he said, forcing her to look up one more time.

"About what?"

"I never asked before I kissed you. Should I fix that?"

She laughed and moved her head forward, pressing her forehead against his, their noses touching. It was fantastic that even in moments like that one they could find motives to laugh and tease the other one.

"I don't know, so far it's been working for you," she answered. "Besides, let's be honest..."

She carefully turned her head and ever so slowly she found the right angle. One of Lincoln's hands moved all the way up from her waist to her neck, resting behind her head, ready to keep her locked in place until Kingdom Come if he had to. They both closed their eyes and just waited, holding their breath. Lincoln felt the painfully slow advance of his girlfriend until their lips were at the limit of what could be considered separate.

And when she spoke, it was like she was whispering inside of him.

"….you already know my answer."

She moved one final bit and their lips met on their first kiss as a couple.

Every single one of the three kisses the young kids had shared before that one had been special and wonderful in one way or another, but they had nothing on this fourth kiss. Both of them were totally immersed in it, enjoying the soft touch of their lips. Every neuron on his brain was focused on the task of getting all the details of Ronnie Anne's mouth against his, feeling how their lips locked perfectly. The warm sensation on his chest returned with the strength of a radiant sun, their union as the epicenter of their universe.

He was still discovering new sensations, emotions he had never experienced before, like a tingle that shook his whole body. It felt like all his cells were charged with energy. Not knowing what to do with the rest of his body, he only managed to raise the soft pressure of his hands, one on her neck and one on the waist of his brand-new girlfriend. He felt her exhaling, a sigh caught in their kiss, and that made him love her even more.

As soon as it began it was over, and both kids had to pull back to catch their breath and recover from the intense experience. Or at least that's what he tried to do, but his lungs had barely changed the air when Ronnie Anne charged back, her arms going around his neck and sealing her lips against his. Lincoln was taken aback one more time. He wasn't prepared for a second kiss so soon after the first one. Didn't they need to have a pause between kisses? His inexperience didn't help, but after a second of doubt, he surrendered to the happiness and pleasure he felt by being so close to her. If that's what she wanted, he was more than willing to comply.

His girlfriend's warmth surrounded him, and her kisses sweetened with the waffle's caramel became a temptation he couldn't resist. Without thinking, all his effort was put in attacking her lower lip, seizing it between his own and giving it as much love as he could. When he felt Ronnie Anne's fingers closing around his hair, he realized he was doing something right. And honest to God, it did feel right.

They ran out of breath once again, but this time they barely interrupted their kiss, just long enough to breathe in as much as they could, and then they resumed their passionate dance.

After a few minutes, Lincoln noticed how his face got damp with Ronnie Anne's tears. He couldn't know what was going through her mind at the moment, but he imagined that she probably had a mess of emotions inside of her just like he did. Instead of moving away from her, he just kissed her more desperately. His lips pressed harder against hers, and his hands stopped being so static and pulled her in against him. Her answer was immediate. She doubled up her assault on his senses, with a thirst for his love that would have intimidated him in any other context.

At that moment, though, as he fell behind on the bed due to her passion and her lips kept taking him to places he never knew existed, Lincoln decided that he was more than ready to face anything just to show his girlfriend how much he loved her.

* * *

"Okay," said Lincoln, using Lynn's baseball cap to wipe the sweat out of his forehead. "Are you ready?"

He turned his head to look at Ronnie Anne. Her face was white, her eyes lost in the nothingness, and she was squeezing Lincoln's hand so hard that the boy was sure that she would snap his fingers any moment now.

"Of course," she said, gulping and turning to look at him. "Are you?"

He could only chuckle, trying to relax.

"Not at all," he admitted.

"So what do we do?"

"We just accept whatever happens."

She didn't seem particularly delighted by his answer, but she knew there was no way around this. They both breathed in, puffed their chest, and got ready for one of the scariest moments in their lives. With one last look at his partner, Lincoln finally opened the front door of his house, and they marched in. They knew what they were exposing themselves to, walking inside holding hands, but one of the many things they talked about throughout the morning was that they didn't want to have a secret relationship. No more. They wanted the whole world to know that they were together because they didn't have anything to hide. That came with a little inconvenient, but if they were lucky, they might reach Lincoln's room without being spotted, and once there they cou—

"Lincoln!"

Lana called out his name the moment he crossed the door, and just like that, their hopes of reaching upstairs without being seen were lost.

Lincoln resignedly turned to his left, only to find that all his sisters sans Lisa, Luna, and Luan were in the living room. Leni, Lori, and Lynn were on the couch, apparently watching TV. Lola was sitting on the floor against their legs, hugging her knees. Lucy was laying on the individual sofa, staring at the roof. Lily was playing with her blocks on the floor, and Lana was running at him, ready to jump into a koala hug.

The little plumber stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted Ronnie Anne. The rest of the girls, after hearing that their brother had returned, almost snapped her necks with how fast they moved their heads, and they were all shocked to see him holding hands with a girl. And not any girl. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne gulped and they stood there, waiting as all the girls got on their feet and slowly approached them, stopping ten feet away from them. Most of them looked confused. Leni was the only one openly smiling. Lori tried to do the same, but her red eyes told Lincoln that she wasn't ready to smile just yet. The once white-haired boy saw on the corner of his eye that Ronnie Anne looked away and squeezed his hand tighter, and he quickly realized that Lynn was shooting daggers with her gaze at his girlfriend.

After a pregnant silence, Luan came walking from the kitchen, wearing a cream-stained apron.

"Did someone say Linc—?" She began, stopping deadpan mid-sentence just as her sisters when she saw her little brother and the girl standing right next to him.

The silence returned, and Lincoln began to feel his nerves boiling up inside him, crackling like a fireplace threatening to set everything on fire. He knew what was about to happen, and that terrified him. It was inevitable, though, and he decided that the best thing to do was to just go through it as fast as possible.

"G-Guys?" He began, sweat coming down his forehead. "L-Let me introduce you to Ronnie Anne—"

"Lincoln, we know who she is," said Lola, all the love and sadness of her eyes tossed aside for a moment so she could talk to him like he was an idiot.

He loved hearing her like that again.

"Yeah, I know, but… She, uh..." Ronnie Anne squeezed his hand again, and when he looked back at her, he realized she was giving him a shy smile. "Well, now she's… she's… my girlfriend."

He knew what would happen. He knew. He feared it. His anxiousness was caused because he knew what was going to happen after his confession. Knowing what he was walking into, though, didn't help him at all when a minute after a deathly silence, the eight girls started to let out unrestrained shrieks and squeals. It sounded like a flock of eagles roaring as they went down against a poor, defenseless rabbit. Only that their screech was longer, louder, and way more harmful to his ears.

He and his girlfriend just looked at each other with a resigned, warm smile as all the girls bounced on the floor, ran in circles, raised their arms to the air, and basically acted like the insane girls they were. Even Lynn was shrilling like she was trying to break all the glasses on their block, which seemed to ease Ronnie Anne's nerves a little. The brand-new couple was blushing as hard as they could, but it was somehow comforting knowing that they were so excited.

It wasn't until they ran out of air for the third time —the first two times they just breathed in before resuming— that they ran against the two kids, grabbed them by their arms and dragged them unceremoniously to the couch, were they dropped them before sitting in front of them with goofy smiles across their faces and excited eyes.

It was time for the interrogation to begin.

"O-M-GOSH, tell us!" Said Leni, barely containing her emotions.

"Tell you what?" Asked Lincoln.

"EVERYTHING!" The twins squealed at the same time, their eyes glowing like a four-stars constellation.

He nervously laughed and shared a very embarrassed look with his girlfriend. He was more than willing to tell them about how they realized that they loved each other, but he didn't want to have to tell all the details about every kiss like he knew they'd ask him to.

"Well, we can't tell you EVERYTHING," he hurriedly said, feeling his cheeks getting warmer.

"He's embarrassed!" Lynn pointed out with a wicked smile.

"That means that something big literally happened!" Added Lori, shaking with excitement. "Now we really need to know EVERYTHING!"

After a new outburst from them all, his sisters started talking and asking questions at the same time, drowning them in an ocean of confusion. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne exchanged a new look, and after he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes, they both started to laugh. Coyly at first, raising their volume soon enough.

"They're laughing together!" Said Luan with a dreamy tone.

"They're so cute!" Squealed Leni.

"Ok, ok, stop!" Ordered Lori with a big smile, and everyone shut up. "Lincoln, go upstairs and bring Luna. She. Can. Not. Miss. THIS!"

"Why me?"

"Because we want to talk with our sister-in-law!"

They all nodded, agreeing with Lori's plan. Ronnie Anne desperately looked at him, begging him to stay with her.

"Fair enough," he said, though, standing up.

"Fair enough?!" She reproached him, not believing what she had just heard.

"We both know we don't have a saying in this," he excused himself, still holding her hand. "The sooner we're done here, the sooner we can go to my room and—"

"Your room?!" Lynn screamed, and she and the rest of the older sisters began to giggle.

"...and read comics! Read!" He finished, with his face as red as Lynn's shorts. With one last apologetic look at Ronnie Anne, he finally let go of her hand and walked into the stairs.

The silence, once he got to the first floor, helped him ease his thoughts. He consciously decided to walk slowly, moving like a snail, just so he could have some extra moments to think. This whole situation was too weird. It wasn't even noon, yet all the things that had happened in the few hours since he had woke up were so big and important that it seemed to had been a lot more time than it actually was. That couple of hours he spent at Ronnie Anne's house had been some of the happiest of his entire life. He had managed to completely forget that he was dying; for a little while, he felt more alive than ever.

And now, back at his home and being with his sisters, that sense of fullness and happiness was extinguished like a candle flame trapped in a sealed bottle; fighting against the lack of oxygen, trying to resist but fading away with every passing second. Lori's red eyes had been pretty eloquent. His eldest sister had been crying. And he just knew she hadn't been the only one. They were all waiting for him in the living room, and how he had found them spoke a lot about their emotional state. Lynn sitting on the couch without any balls to play with? Lola kneeling on the dirty carpet with no makeup nor teacups? He knew them, and seeing them like that hurt him like hell.

He just wanted to see them happy. He knew he was asking too much, he knew it, he wasn't stupid, but he just couldn't stand seeing them like that. He needed them to be strong for him, to help him go through this, but none of them was ready for such a herculean task.

His moment of reflection came to an end when he found himself facing Luna's bedroom door. He knocked a couple of times, but after hearing no answer, he decided to get in any way.

"Luna?" He called for her, peeking his head inside.

What he saw was hopeful and somber at the same time. On one hand, Lincoln found himself looking at his older sister sitting on her desk against the window, the one she used to make her music, and she was wearing headphones. He couldn't help but be happy to see her listening to music again. After that night when she smashed her guitar against the floor, Lincoln hadn't heard her playing an instrument or listening to music. It was nice seeing her going back to her favorite hobby, but it was also depressing to see her hunched over, her face hidden behind her hands, with several tissues on her desk.

He sighed and cleared his mind. He couldn't be depressed right now, he couldn't allow himself to be weak if one of his sisters needed him. He had to be there for her.

He walked closer until he was right next to her. She didn't listen to him, and her closed eyes didn't see him either. The loud music got to Lincoln even though she was wearing headphones. What he heard wasn't exactly pleasant.

 _How can you just walk away from me  
_ _when all I can do is watch you leave?  
_ _Cuz we shared the laughter and the pain  
_ _And even share the tears  
_ _You're the only one who really knew me at all_

Not standing the situation any longer, Lincoln put a hand on Luna's right shoulder. His sister jumped when she felt the contact, and as soon as she saw who it was she turned off the music and let her headphones aside.

"L-Lincoln, hey..." she said, wiping the tears away from her face as fast as she could; she sounded like she had the flu. "I didn't… hear you come. When did you get back home?"

"How are you?" He asked, ignoring her words.

She closed her eyes for a second, shaking her head. When she opened them again, all the tears she had dried away were back there again, and her watery eyes fixed themselves on the boy in front of her. Without any need for words, Lincoln hugged his sister, who quickly grabbed him and sat him on her lap, embracing him against her like she didn't want to let him go. He certainly wasn't thinking about going anywhere, not as long as she was like that. His sisters would be more than happy to have some alone time with Ronnie Anne, so he knew there was no rush to go downstairs. If he had to stay there for an hour, then his girlfriend would have to forgive him, but he would do it.

After some minutes, Luna stopped panting and soaking her brother's hair with her tears.

"I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry," she apologized.

"It's okay. Don't worry."

"I-I just… I'm sorry. I try… I tried following your advice. I tried to go back to my music, b-but… Everything… It all just… reminds me of you."

He didn't know what to say. Luna's problem, at first, was that she wasn't ready to accept the huge sadness that was killing her, so she tried to distract herself by taking wrong choices and doing things she later regretted. Lincoln had done everything in his power to let her know that sometimes she had to let it hurt. He couldn't tell her now that she needed to get over it. What could he do, then?

Luckily (and unfortunately) for Lincoln, he had gone through something similar with Lucy the day before. Both girls had a similar problem, and that's how he realized what he had to tell his older sister.

"Maybe you can listen to songs that remind you of me, but not in a bad way."

He assumed that her silence meant that he hadn't been clear enough.

"Luna… Let's not fool ourselves, we both know you… you're gonna miss me."

"Every day," she immediately said, holding him tighter.

"But I don't want my memory to be sad for you!" He told her, burying his face in her neck. "I want you to remember me for the good stuff. Our happy moments. We… We shared a lot of great moments. Like, uh… Remember when you took me to my very first concert?"

She snickered, and one of her hands began stroking his hair.

"How could I forget that? You were rockin' that outfit, dude."

"And you remember when you actually got SMOOCH to play in our garage?"

"I learned from the master of convincing..."

"We had such great times together!" He said, trying to look happy. "A lot! So maybe… maybe you can find music that reminds you of them instead of… Like, music to remember the good stuff."

Lincoln kept feeling her soft, tender touch on his hair. They seemed more relaxed, even distracted. She wasn't as depressed as when he found her a few minutes ago. He could have stayed there and keep working on making her feel better, but he decided that maybe the best thing he could do was keep her busy with something else, something that would surely make her happy.

"Luna, I'd love to stay here with you all afternoon, I'd gladly do so," he told her, "but Ronnie Anne is waiting for me downstairs with the girls and I don't… I don't want to leave them alone with my girlfriend for so long."

Luna's face lightened up, and any trace of sadness faded away.

"GIRLFRIEND?!" She screamed, before squeezing the breath out of her little brother like he was a teddy bear. "Lincoln, that's so cute! What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

With the enthusiasm and energy that had always defined her, Luna dragged Lincoln to the living room. Maybe he had only postponed a problem, maybe he would never find a way to really resolve it, but little did he care at the moment. He just didn't want to see her sad.

* * *

After a long interrogation that was extended until Lynn Sr came home to have lunch with his family, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne received the blessing from all Louds. It wasn't like they feared they wouldn't, though, since his sister's attitude had been pretty positive. It was really embarrassing for the two kids to have to tell them all about their kisses (not only the ones they had on that day, but also the first three too) and to say out loud just how much they loved each other. It was even worse when Lola asked them if they could kiss again in front of them, although they didn't need to be told twice.

His parents were also delighted with the news. Rita and Lynn Sr gave Ronnie Anne the official welcome to the Loud family, inviting her to stay for lunch, and she was more than willing to do so. For the first time since the incident on the park, the whole family was happy together, united in a joyful atmosphere.

When lunch was over and Lynn Sr had to go back to his job, Lincoln decided that he couldn't allow the fun and happiness to end just like that.

"Hey, who wants to play a family board game?" He suggested after his mom took all the plates to the kitchen.

They all unanimously agreed to it. Even Ronnie Anne was smiling at the idea of playing with so many people.

"Let's go to my room!" Lori said.

"I'll get some cushions and pillows," offered Lynn.

"And I'll make some snacks!" Said Lola. Ever since she had learned how to read cooking books she loved baking cookies for herself and the rest of the family, and nothing would stop her from impressing her sister in law.

"Lincoln, you choose the game while he set up everything, okay? Ronnie, come with me."

Luan grabbed Ronnie Anne by her arm and took her to Lori's room. The rest of the girls followed her suit, leaving Lincoln alone in the dining room. He smiled, seeing how his whole family was definitely trying their best to stay happy, at least for a little while. He went to the case where they stored all their board games, and instead of choosing one, he grabbed four boxes. Why settle with one if they could spend all afternoon together? He was going to call Clyde and ask him to come join them as soon as he was out of school.

With the boxes under his arms, Lincoln headed to the stairs, but he stopped when he passed in front of the family trophy case.

He didn't want to stop, but he couldn't help himself. He stood there, staring at all the shiny trophies. Lori's trophies of first place in golf tournaments, Leni's fashion awards, memorabilia from all the band battles Luna had won, Luan's achievements from video competition and comedy contests, dozens of gold trophies from every sport ever courtesy of Lynn, poetry nights that Lucy had dominated, all of Lola's pageant tiaras, Lana's Golden Wrench, Lisa's Nobel Prize Jr, and even Lily's thumb sucking contest trophies. Everyone in the Loud family was successful on what they did.

Everyone except for Lincoln.

He was the only failure. The only one that, in his eleven years, had accomplished absolutely nothing worth mentioning. His only trophy was a consolation prize made by his sisters, not something he had rightfully earned. That made him feel even worse, now that he could see it in hindsight.

His life was about to end, and he hadn't done anything remarkable. Nothing at all, nothing he could ever be proud of, nothing on which he had stood out. And it was too late now to change that fact. He had no time to learn a new ability or to win anything. He would only take to the grave what he had done so far, and truth be told, that didn't seem to be much.

It was too depressing to think that he always believed that there would come a day when he would start working to accomplish something big. That someday he would have the chance to do something outstanding. He used to think that he would catch up to his sisters someday, that it was just a matter of time. And he waited so long that he let slip a lot of opportunities he would no longer have. It was too late now to listen to his mother and do sports. Lynn had offered him to be his personal trainer a million times before, and he had always refused. He couldn't take on Luna's offer to be the guitarist for her new band, since he had never really practiced what little she had taught him. He couldn't become the co-host of Luan's YouTube channel. Every single one of those opportunities had been declined because he always thought that he could do them later if he wanted to.

And now he had to accept that he wouldn't have time to do them now.

"Lincoln, are you alright?"

Leni's voice to his left startled him. He turned to find his older sister staring at him with a worried expression.

"Leni, uh, I… What are you doing here?" He asked.

"You were taking too long and Lori sent me to see if you were doing okay."

How long had he been staring at that case?

"I'm sorry, I, uh… I..."

Leni leaned in and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. We were just a little worried. Come on, your girlfriend's waiting for you," she said in a happy tone.

Lincoln could feel his blushing face.

"Y-Yeah, sorry! I'll go now!" He said and, leaving Leni's giggles behind, he went upstairs.

Lincoln was completely oblivious to the fact that, as soon as he disappeared from her view, Leni's face lost all trace of happiness. He didn't know that she stood there and turned her face to look at the trophy case. After she took ten minutes to finally return to her room, he was the first one to believe her when she said she had just forgotten where her room was. He could have never imagined that she had just stared at the case, standing on the exact same spot he had been, looking at the trophies without even blinking.

Lincoln didn't know that Leni only went back to her room after the sparkle of understanding appeared in her eyes, and a great idea came to her.

* * *

.

.

 _To those readers that are still alive after these months and that found the time to read this crap, thank you! I hope you liked it. I'm really sorry I took lo song, life wouldn't just give me a break. But listen, the only way this fic will be canceled is if I die, and I have no intentions of dying anytime soon. We are getting closer and closer to the end, and it's time for new actors to get into play. Next chapter will be about someone special and new, and as you can see, Leni is finally getting involved._

 _In two weeks I'll finish this semester and this year of college, so I'll be back to this fic with all my energies. And like I said, we're so close to finishing! Like I said before: we can count the remaining chapters with a single hand!_

 _I hope you liked it. It was the 3rd longest chapter in this story, and I enjoyed writing it._

 _See ya!_


	22. The Calm

_._

 _I'm so, so sorry, blablabla, life has been a b****, blablabla, you know how it is. I mean, by now I can only apologize and ask for you to understand my situation. I'd like to thank all of you guys who have sent me messages this whole time, your support is what helps me go through this tough times and find my inner potential to unlock the Ultra Instinct to keep figh- I mean, writing._

 _Take a shower, get yourself comfortable in bed, grab a can of your favorite drink and get ready, because this will be the longest chapter so far. Many of you were asking for a certain character to appear, and he'll be here in this cap. Some will ask, "Hero, should I get some tissues ready, too?". My answer would be "No", but readers from the Spanish fandom have told me that they've cried with this chapter. I mean, this is pretty personal, maybe some scenes might have a big impact con some of you and you'll get a feels punch on the face, but the idea of this chapter is to aim at heartwarming moments. Scenes of characters helping other characters. Moments between Lincoln and some of his sisters (the rest will have their scenes on the remaining chapters). Given the nature of the story, the characters are sad, but I won't put the focus there._

 _Speaking of the remaining chapters, did I mention the end is just around the corner?_

 _So yeah, if you have like an hour or so free, just sit down and enjoy the chapter in one go. Some people recommend splitting the reading, but I personally love long chapters (no sh*t Sherlock) because I think it gives you enough time to get invested and immersed in the story. My advice, then, would be to wait until you have that little free time to treat yourself with a reading session. I hope you enjoy this little thing I wrote with a lot of love, sweat and blood for you._

 _By the way, this chapter has reference to several new episodes, including Net Gains. So I hope you're catching up TLH on Friday's at 6/5c, ha._

 _ **Disclaimer**_ _. The Loud House is the property of Viacom, Nickelodeon, and their rightful owners._

* * *

.

 **Chapter 22:  
** **The calm.**

.

"Requiem! Requiem!"

"I can't."

"Come on! It's been forever since last time!"

"I'm saving it for the right moment. The situation needs to call for it, all conditions need to be set so by the time I release it the impact is bigger and-"

"They're surrounding you! You need to do it!"

"Listen to him, do it!"

"It's not ready yet!"

"DO IT!"

Giving up to his audience's pressure, Lincoln activated his magic immunity item to prevent enemies from stop his channeling and pressed the hotkey to his hero's ultimate skill. A few seconds later, having gathered the spirits of the fallen warriors, Shadow Fiend finally channeled his _Requiem of Souls_ technique, creating an explosion that covered most of the computer screen and instantly annihilated three out of the five enemy heroes, severely hurting the rest. Clyde and Ronnie Anne jumped and cheered up, excited about the turn of events, and their joy only increased when the rest of Lincoln's team hunted down the fleeing enemies, killing them all and paving down the path to victory, which was achieved quite promptly after that.

As the computer announced " **TRIPLE KILL!** " and both his best friend and his girlfriend rejoiced in congratulations for themselves, telling him that it was only thanks to their advice that he had practically won the game, Lincoln smiled. If he had waited for the right time, the impact would've probably been greater. He would've gotten better reactions from his audience and a bigger satisfaction for his own work, but maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't wait for the very best moment, but instead do things while he could.

Time, after all, was something he couldn't allow himself to waste.

The last couple of hours had been absolutely incredible. His sisters, his girlfriend and himself had played several board games over and over again. Lynn won almost every single one of them, as usual, but she formed a powerful alliance with Lincoln and Lana when Lisa brought _The Settlers of Cat-Land_ , and the three of them celebrated an overwhelming victory in that opportunity. Being able to sit down and enjoy some quality time with his loved ones was a little pleasure that every day became more and more important for the once white-haired boy. They had all laughed throughout the games, joking and playfully teasing each other, and it was only in very few occasions that one of his sisters had to excuse herself to disappear into the bathroom for ten minutes, only to return with red, puffy eyes.

After a couple of hours, when school had ended, Lincoln texted Clyde, inviting him to join them in their fun. Five minutes later, the McBride's red SUV was parking in the driveway and his best friend was knocking on his door, ready to play with them. Clyde was so excited for being there that he didn't even pass out when Lori accidentally touched his hand during a card game; he just remained petrified, staring at the Void for five minutes without reacting to external stimuli.

It was three in the afternoon when Leni suggested to her sisters that Lincoln would probably want to spend some alone time with Ronnie Anne.

"T-That's not true!" He had complained, his cheeks the same shade of pink of Lola's dress.

"Let's stay for a little longer!" Lana pleaded, clinging to her big brother's arm.

"B-But…", Leni stammered, arching her eyebrows and biting her lower lip. "It's just… He… I…"

Lincoln gave him a curious look. Leni looked odd. Now that he began to think about it, she had been acting strange for a couple of hours. She always took things lightly, getting easily distracted and acting clumsily. It wasn't unusual for her to not be totally invested in a board game, to miss that it was her turn to toss the dice, or that she would forget the rules of whatever they were playing for the fifth time in twenty minutes. There was nothing unusual in that. What caught Lincoln's attention, though, was his sister's lost look, sitting with her knees against her chest, looking through the window. What had she been thinking about?

She obviously wanted something but she didn't want to share what it was, or maybe she couldn't find the best way to explain herself. Her adorable dubitation to finish her sentence was a clear signal that Lincoln, always observant and insightful, immediately recognized. Lori also seemed to notice it, of course. If there was someone in that house that knew his sisters better than him, that was undoubtedly Lori. The eldest sister looked at Leni, and the talented modiste gave her a knowing look that Lincoln couldn't decipher.

"I think Leni's right", Lori said after a few seconds, earning a relieved sigh and a warm smile from her roommate, "why don't we let Lincoln and his friends have some fun on their own?"

The twins and Luan argued against it as Lincoln scrutinized his two eldest sisters. What were they trying to do?

"Come on, girls, Linky has a girlfriend now. Let's not make it even more awkward for them."

"But if we go they'll start smooching and I want to see it!" Lola complained, stomping the floor.

"Lola!" Both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne exclaimed, their faces beyond the pinkish tone of a soft blush, tinted now with a glowing scarlet that put Lynn's jersey to shame.

Lori stood up and started to put away the last board game with a lukewarm smile.

"Lincoln, it's been, uh… a long time since you've just hung out with your friends", she said in the calmest, most tender tone she could, while also avoiding to look at him in the eye. "You can just go with them and be you for a while. But only a while, ok?"

"Yeah, bro", Luna intervened, flashing him a smile that could be seen on her lips, but that didn't spread to the rest of her face. "Don't think you'll get away from us so easily."

Lincoln looked around the room. Ronnie Anne and Clyde looked fairly excited at the idea of being able to spend time with their friend in a more private, intimate environment. Lori was staring at Leni, who was suddenly very interested in her bedroom carpet. Luna was still looking at him with a warm smile and sad eyes. Luan was pressing her knees against her chest, unamused at the prospect of Lincoln leaving, but without making a fuss about it. Lynn didn't object either, but her arms crossed over her chest and her squeezed lips were all he needed to see to know how she felt. Leaned against her shoulder was, oddly enough, Lucy. She had barely spoken a single word in the whole afternoon, and now she didn't even seem to be worried about sharing warmth with another mortal. Lola and Lana were the only ones that didn't mind showing and being vocal about their disagreement.

Both girls turned around to look at their big brother with puppy eyes. The twins had always been one of Lincoln's few weaknesses/soft points, along with Viper in Dota 2 and warm waffles with caramel on top. It was like Lana and Lola's eyes were just too expressive, perhaps because of how big they looked on their small faces. His heart ached when he saw them begging him with their eyes for him to stay with them.

Honestly, he didn't have any reason to go. He was having fun with his siblings! He wanted to stay there, to keep it that way. He wasn't fond of the idea of his two eldest sisters suggesting that they should end the family moment, but he assumed there had to be a reason for that. He looked back at Luna and her dropped shoulders. He looked at Luan, who still had swollen eyes from her last visit to the bathroom. Could it be that they all needed a rest… from him? He knew that it was hard for them to be around him, to enjoy his presence without thinking about how little time he had left, but it was the same for him, and Lincoln still managed to be strong enough to actively avoid thinking that all the fun he had wouldn't change the fact that he was dying. Couldn't they do the same? Couldn't they hold their sadness for just a couple of hours? Couldn't they do it for him?

He didn't realize how hard he was clenching his fists until a hand softly landed on top of his, gently stroking his wrist. He turned his head and he found Ronnie Anne's eyes staring at him. She looked worried, doing her best to give him a tiny, shy smile. He remembered his outbursts towards her girlfriend earlier that morning. He didn't want to blow up on his sisters. They didn't deserve that.

He turned once again, this time looking at the twins, and he gave them the brightest smile the circumstances allowed him to have.

"Hey, I'll go to play with Ronnie Anne and Clyde for a little while", he told them, resting a hand on each of their shoulders, "but I'll be back soon, alright? I promise."

The two of them dropped their heads and stared at the floor. They didn't look happy. The man with the plan had to come up with something.

"And if you guys let me, maybe later today we three can play something. Just you guys and me. What do you say?"

It was impossible for them to conceal the smile that appeared on their faces. The looked up -their heads still looking down, though- and bobbed their heads in agreement. Once again, Lincoln was proud of himself. He might not be the smartest kid in school, and he wasn't cool or fashionable, but he knew his sisters. If the ability to make them smile when they needed it the most was the only thing he would take to his grave, that was more than enough.

"Alright, let's go, guys", he said to his two best friends.

The three of them stood up and, after some brief goodbyes and see ya laters, they left the room and walked into the hallway. They barely made it past the stairs when they heard a door opening up and some footsteps getting closer.

"Hey, Ronnie Anne."

They turned around, not without certain anxiety, at the sound of Lynn's voice. There she was, standing with her hands behind her back, her head turned slightly in another direction, her lips pursed as she balanced her body from her heels to the tip of her toes. The Santiago girl looked at her boyfriend, who raised his hands and took a step back, taking the clever and coward decision of staying the hell out of whatever was about to happen. She buffed and glared at him before stepping forward to face Lynn.

She just hoped that things wouldn't escalate again. It had taken her several days to fully recover from the beatdown she had received, and now Lynn wasn't handicapped with a wristband, so she'd have both hands to punch her this time.

"Yeah?" She asked, hiding her hands inside her hoodie's pockets.

The athlete Loud looked up at the ceiling, still not looking at her brother's girlfriend in the eye.

"Listen, I..." She began, scratching her head. "I-I'm sorry, alright?"

Ronnie Anne and the two boys behind her opened their eyes in surprise. Lynn was biting her lower lip, and even though Ronnie Anne's first impression was that the girl didn't want to apologize and she was just being forced to, she soon realized it was something else that made her act that way. Shame.

"I shouldn't have treated you like that", she continued, "I was… it's just..."

"Lynn, I, uh, I get it", she interrupted her, beginning to smile. "Don't worry, I forgive you. You were trying to protect Lincoln, and I hadn't been treating him nice. I deserved being pummeled."

Lynn finally looked up to see her face, and they both smiled at each other at the same time.

"You really know how to fight", Ronnie Anne continued.

"You're not bad yourself", Lynn told her, touching her chin, "you have a sick right hook."

"But you shrugged it off and finished me with two punches, that was pretty rad."

They both begin to laugh, and every trail of tension that remained soon dissipated.

"So, we're cool?" Ronnie Anne asked, drawing a hand out of her hoodie and offering it to Lynn.

"Welcome to the family", Lynn answered, shaking hands with her brand new sister in law, and they both smiled at each other until a new voice distracted them.

"You should seal your new friendship with a hug", Lincoln suggested with an impish smile a few steps behind his girlfriend.

"Shut up, lame-o", both girls said at the same time. Clyde chuckled and Lincoln dramatically raised a hand to his face.

"Oh, God, what have I done? Now I have the two toughest, coolest girls I know teamed up against me."

Everyone in the hall laughed, but Lincoln didn't know how spot-on his words were until his girlfriend and sister shared a quick look, mischievously smiled, and a second later each one of them had grabbed Lincoln from a shoulder before pulling him into a triple hug. He couldn't help but smile, and he allowed himself to get lost for a while in all the love two of the most important girls in his life were drowning him on. He had always imagined that Lynn and Ronnie Anne would get along well. They shared interests and passions, and he really hoped this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship between them.

The embrace eventually ended. Lincoln was bold enough to leave his arm around Ronnie Anne's waist, and his girlfriend didn't complain. Lynn wished them to have fun –"But not too much fun! We have paper thin walls here!"– and she then walked back into Lori's room, allowing Clyde, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne to finally go to the once linen closet at the end of the hall, where they would play for a while.

After the game that Lincoln won, it was Clyde's turn to play. He sat in front of the desk and started to search for a local host to join, chatting with some members of his party in the meantime. Lincoln walked to his bed and sat next to Ronnie Anne. His instinct made him leave a space between them, like he had always done, but she buffed and moved closer until their shoulders touched. He smiled and let his body lean against hers.

The morning hadn't started all that well. Seeing Lisa's eyebags during his morning check, his mother almost breaking down as they wrote a new chapter in their book –it had been too much for her to listen to him talking about his role as a big brother in a chapter that he had decided to title "Baby Steps"–, and all the drama his delicate emotional state had caused at Ronnie Anne's house… Yeah, that was definitely not what one would call a good start. Little by little, though, things had started to improve. He now had a girlfriend. They had kissed a lot. Big time. He spent some amazing hours with his family and friends. Lynn and Ronnie Anne had worked out their differences. Everything seemed to be working out just fine.

Of course, that could only mean that the Universe was conspiring to make sure that his life would be miserable once again. Soon. And it all started with the most trivial and simple of questions.

"Hey, Lincoln, why don't you bring some juice?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Make it orange juice, please!" Clyde asked, just before yelling at the microphone. "The Tower! Forget the creeps, hit the Tower!"

Lincoln, of course, wouldn't deny a glass of juice to his guests. His coin collection and his host skills had always been something he had been proud of. Clyde had his coin collection now, but the manners were still there. He excused himself out of his room –he was tempted to give Ronnie Anne a goodbye kiss on her cheek, but he wasn't so corny– and was ready to head for the kitchen, but he stopped when he noticed something.

The calmness. The silence.

During the last nine days, the Loud house had stopped being so loud. The familiar chaos he had grown up with and that he had complained so many times about was no more, and Lincoln found himself missing it. This time, however, it seemed to him that it was… different. Even though the news about his sickness had clearly affected all his sisters, and their depressed states were evident with the lack of motivation they did their activities, they never found themselves being in an absolute silence like the one the whole house was right then. Not the television, not the echo of conversations down the hall, not the sound of the creaky and loose floorboards, nothing was heard outside of his room.

Forgetting the juice for a second, Lincoln walked to the other end of the hall, knocking his fist against the door of his eldest sister's room.

"Lori?"

After getting no answer, he considered his options. He would never try to go into Lori's room without her written consent, but unfortunately for everyone, circumstances had changed. So without worrying that something horrible might happen to him, he opened the door and peeked his head inside. The floor was a mess, with the board games all over the place and the blankets and cushions they'd used before still there, along with some clothes. Still, no traces of Lori or Leni.

With a big dose of curiosity and a pinch of worry, Lincoln checked the rest of his sister's rooms, but only Lisa's seemed to have someone inside. Judging by the electric and mechanical sounds that slipped through the closed door, he imagined that the little genius was probably too busy in her research to act as a proper host for her sibling units. He walked downstairs, hoping to find them all in the living room, or perhaps the kitchen, but they weren't their either.

Where did they go? Why would they even go without letting him know? It didn't make any sense, and for some reason, he began getting anxious. He didn't like the idea of being left alone. Not when his calendar –hidden behind his bed so no one else would find it now that he didn't lock his door anymore– was running short. He, more than anyone else, was aware of the fact that every minute could very well be his last. Did they really think it was a good idea to go without telling him? Without…?

Without saying goodbye? Could they really live with that weight of their shoulders if…?

The sound of a voice brought the colors back to his face. He jumped to the window in the living room, pushing aside the curtains to take a look at whoever was outside. The relieved smile he had to begin to form faded away when he realized it wasn't any of his sisters, but her mother, carrying Lily on her arms and speaking on her cell phone. He was still ignorant of the whereabouts of his sisters, but if someone in the house could help him understand why they had all left without saying a word, that was his mother.

He went through the front door and walked into the stoop. The cold air caressed his face, and for a second he looked up in the sky, only to find that the Sun was nowhere to be found behind all the clouds. He looked down once again, resting his gaze on his mother.

"...I don't know, at least an hour and a half", she said, and Lincoln quickly noticed that she sounded afflicted. Whatever it was that she was talking about, it didn't seem to be a good thing. "It's not up to me, it depends on how long he… Yes, I know. Alright. I'll take him and–"

"Wincon!" Yelled Lily as soon as she saw her big brother a few feet away from her. She began laughing with no reason at all, stretching her arms towards him.

Rita turned around. The surprised and slightly scared face that she gave him was definitely far away from the reaction Lincoln would want his mother to have upon seeing him. She stood there, thunderstruck for a few seconds, before pressing her phone tight against her ear and tilting her head away from him.

"Honey, I have to go, please take care and don't come back too late. I love you", he said, before finishing the call.

"Who was that?" He asked.

"Lincoln, what are you doing here?" She asked herself, avoiding the question.

Lily kept making gestures towards Lincoln, so the boy closed the distance between them and grabbed her by her armpits, carrying her in his arms against his shoulder. She smiled and giggled, rubbing her cheek against Lincoln's head, who couldn't help but to catch on from that blissful ignorance. He envied her, to be honest. He wished he could live ignoring everything that was going on in his life.

"I was looking for the girls", he said as he blew a raspberry on Lily's belly, making her laugh and move her arms everywhere. "Have you seen them?"

"They… they had to go. They didn't tell me where", she quickly added; too quickly for his taste. "Where are Ronnie Anne and Clyde?"

"They're playing in my room. I should be getting some juice for them. But why did they all leave together? Why didn't they invite me, or at least let me know where they were going?"

Rita showed him a bittersweet smile and gently stroked her little boy's head. Lincoln felt his mother's soft fingers getting lost in his hair, and childhood memories flashed inside his mind. Memories of simpler times, happier and warmer. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh as he felt streaks of his hair being combed by Rita, who eventually dragged her fingers gently across Lincoln's face, placing them on his freckled cheeks. Lincoln opened his eyes and looked at his mother. He found himself staring at a face that seemed to grow a decade older during the last week. The eyebags were painful to look at, and he was sure that those wrinkles on her forehead hadn't been there not too long ago. He embraced Lily tighter against him, without complaining when the baby grabbed some of his chestnut hair and pulled it.

"I'm sure they just want you to have fun with your friends without worrying about them", he quietly told him, as she distracted Lily to keep her from leaving her brother bald. "Are you having fun?"

"Yeah", he confessed with a smile, "we're playing in my computer, taking turns. We're having a blast. And Ronnie Anne.. well, she's been acting a lot sweeter since, uh, well… since we're a t-thing..."

He might never get used to speaking about them in those terms. It felt incredibly bizarre, but it also felt right. Like it was just what it was meant to be. Lincoln didn't know much about love, but in his ignorance, the only thing that he knew was that being with Ronnie Anne made him happy on the inside. And the kisses weren't bad at all, to be honest. Rita's smile embarrassed him a little, but the way she bit her lips and blinked to contain some treacherous tears made him regret making that comment.

"Honey, listen", she said, clearing her throat to speak, "go upstairs and keep playing with your friends, alright? But… but we'll be leaving in an hour."

"What? Why?"

Rita closed her eyes and made a small pause to take a breath and get ready. Even before she explained it to him, Lincoln was already sensing that something bad was about to happen, something that would ruin his wonderful afternoon. Because the universe hated Lincoln Loud, and it wasn't willing to allow him to enjoy not even one nice afternoon with his family and friends.

Five minutes later, Lincoln walked upstairs with shaky feet, dragging them through the carpet once he was on the first floor. He opened the door to his room and slowly let himself fall next to Ronnie Anne.

"Hey, what took you so long? And what happened to the juice?" The young Santiago reproached him. Her mockery disappeared the moment she saw the worry in her boyfriend's eyes. "Lincoln? What's wrong?"

Clyde also turned around, forgetting about the game and allowing his rivals to kill him without resistance. They both noticed Lincoln's clenched fists, his trembling lips, but most of all, his scared eyes. Ronnie Anne saw him slowly turning his head until their eyes met, and the panic she saw there almost broke her heart. As soon as he stretched his arms towards her, she hugged him with all her strength.

It took him almost ten minutes to calm down enough to explain to them what his mom had told him. His anxiety didn't let him fully express himself at first, but the phrased with which he started was enough to make his friends worry.

"I-I don't know if I can do it."

* * *

An hour later, Lincoln was traveling in one of the backseats of Vanzilla next to Lily's baby chair, making sure that nothing happened to her. They had already left the city behind, and all that he saw through the window were the majestic trees of the periphery that gave Royal Woods its name. He used to travel that route outside the city a couple of times every month. It was always his mother who would drive him there, and usually, the journey was colorful, entertaining and filled with questions and happy conversations that distracted him and made him eager to reach their destination.

This time, the radio was the only thing that could be heard, with absurd and trivial comments about the weather.

" _After several days threat_ _en_ _ing but never complying, tomorrow the clouds will drop a heavy rain over Royal Woods. If you were planning to go fishing, you better cancel your plan_ _s_ _, buddy, because this storm will be pretty strong and dangerous. The meteorological service plans to launch an alert and ask people to stay at home to avoid accidents. And now, we move on to sports, in the international scope. Lionel Messi broke a new record with Barcelona. Other exciting news: the water is wet._ "

Well, at least he already knew what he could talk with Lynn once he got back home. That's it, of course, if he had any type of interest in talking with anybody after finishing what he was about to do. His right leg had been bouncing ever since they had left the driveway, and it didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. He was just too anxious.

Even after over a week knowing that he had his days numbered, having to accept the fact that there wasn't too much time left before he got to rest in peace, one would think that nothing could really make him anxious anymore. He had had to face his older sisters, hidden the truth from his younger ones, dealt with breaking the news to his best friends, dealt with some depressive episodes of Luan, Lynn and Luna, ran after Lucy when she found out what had happened, and finally admit the truth in front of Lola and Lana. The levels of stress, melancholia, and emotional pain that he had suffered would have gotten any healthy person sick. They would've broken them, drained them from all their strength. Lincoln Loud, for better or worse, wasn't like everybody else. There was a spark inside of him that made him resist, hold on, never give up and do everything in his hands to keep himself from getting lost in the vortex of darkness that threatened to absorb him every second. He had stood his ground to every single one of Destiny's assaults.

And yet, every new challenge he was faced with turned out to be as hard or even harder than all the previous ones. He had somehow survived so far, but the idea of having to re-deal with the pain gave him the creeps. It terrified him. It made him sweat cold, and his mind was busy trying to find excuses to avoid dealing with this.

Even so, he knew that he had to do this. He always knew, even if he had been trying to not think about it. It would hurt him, yes. It would be terrible, yes; but he had to do it.

His mother also seemed to sense the immense pain that this would bring to her son, for they had barely exchanged words during the whole travel, and now that they were reaching the hill and slowing down, they both felt the tension rising with every passing second. When the van finally stopped, none of them said anything. The radio was turned off, and only Lily's incoherent gibberish as she tried to suck her toes interrupted the cursed silence. Lincoln saw his mother's hands squeezing the steering wheel.

"A-Are you…? You sure you want to go alone?" She asked with some difficulty.

No, no he wasn't. He didn't know what to do, how to do it, what to say, how to act. He wasn't even sure if he could find the strength within to carry on with such tremendous enterprise. Could anyone blame him if he didn't? Could anyone reclaim him anything? He had suffered in one week more than most people had to go through in their entire lives. Even the man with the plan should be allowed to find himself overwhelmed by circumstances at least once.

"Yes", he answered, nonetheless. "I want… I have to do it myself."

Rita didn't answer. She nodded in silence, looking down.

"I'll be waiting here. Be careful, and… and if something happens just… just call me and..."

"I will."

"I love you, sweety."

"I love you too, mom."

He walked out of the van without looking back. He knew his mother was about to cry, and he didn't want to see it. If he did, then he would definitely wouldn't be able to continue, he would break down too. He walked through the parking lot's sidewalk until he reached the entry of that place he had visited so many times before, and where he had had so much fun. He stopped in front of the glass doors under the big entrance. The surface reflected the landscape, the woods, the hill, and also the tiny little figure standing a few feet away from it. He stared at his dyed hair, and for the first time since he took the decision of changing his old look, Lincoln felt regret and shame. This wouldn't be easy to explain.

Taking a few deep breaths, doing a conscious effort to keep his hands from shaking, and getting ready to become the punching bag of the Fates, Lincoln finally walked into the reception hall of the Sunset Canyon Retirement Home.

He'd never liked the building before. There was something about the shiny floors, the neat windows, the tranquil background jazz music, the soft lighting and the aroma of disinfectant and lavender perfume that rubbed him the wrong way. For so long, he didn't know what it was that made him uncomfortable about that place, which in appearance looked so harmless and orderly. Now, however, he had a new perspective. Last week's events made it clear as water. The moment he stepped inside that lonely place, his flashbacks revealed him why he had never liked it before:

It didn't feel like a home; it felt like a hospital.

He took a deep breath and tried to push those thoughts away. His mission was clear, and he knew what he had to do. His mother had already told him: he needed to break the news to his grandfather Albert. After his diagnosis, and following his request, no one outside of his parents and older sisters had been informed about his condition. They had respected his wishes even if they didn't fully agree, but it had been over a week since then. The whole school had found out about it. Friends, classmates, not to mention the rest of his family core. They all knew about Lincoln's condition. They couldn't keep leaving Pop-Pop in the dark, without letting him know that his only grandson had very few days left. He was an important part of his life, and he deserved to know the truth, as painful as it may be.

What worried Lincoln the most was that the news would be a hard hit to his grandpa, a blow that his old body may not be able to resist. Yes, he was in an exceptional shape for someone his age. Yes, he could still kick some marine's ass in paintball to the point of leaving them in tears, but he was still an old senior. No one knew exactly how he would react to the news of his only grandson having a terminal disease, or how dangerous that revelation could be to his own health.

That was one of the reasons why Lincoln had insisted on going there alone, to be the only herald in such terrible enterprise. His mother's support would've been good for him, probably. To be able to surrender into the arms of the one person that had protected him and pampered him since his conception would have been a small comfort within what would probably become a true martyrdom. He knew his mother, though, he knew how much this whole deal was affecting her, and he couldn't trust her to remain calm enough to give the news to her father. Lincoln's greatest fear and the reason why he had asked her to stay in the van was that Rita would break down into tears even before he was able to break the news to Albert.

One of Lincoln's greatest traits had always been his capacity to communicate and persuade. He knew some little secret tricks that helped him convince his parents or siblings to follow him on his crazy plans. One of the said secrets was the simple principle that we are all a reflection of our own emotions. If you could manage to look convinced, positive and with the general attitude of someone who knows they're right, it was almost a piece of cake to get other people to follow you with whatever you wanted them to. That's how he always convinced his parents. Some gel on his hair, a fancy suit, a slide presentation to explain his reasoning, all of that with a dose of optimism was what made him such a sweet talker.

There was no way to look positive or confident at the time of announcing his condition, but having his mother crying desperately next to him would not help Pop-Pop.

He knew by heart where his grandfather's room was. He had visited it several times since Albert had moved to the retirement house. Taking a deep breath, he began his pace to the stairs that would lead him to the first floor and the room's wing.

" _Everything's gonna be alright_ ", he thought, trying to convince himself, trying to push away the idea that something might go wrong. And just when those thoughts went through his mind, a little electronic bell rang.

Lincoln looked up and saw a movement sensor located on the wall over the reception. He soon heard the sound of footsteps getting closer. Before he could run away or jump behind one of the plants that decorated the retirement house, a figure appeared from one of the halls, ready to receive the intruder.

Dressed in a nurse uniform, the short squat woman approached him with quick, short steps. Lincoln gulped down when those bulging and pouchy eyes were fixed on him. He hated that toad-like face, forcing a smile from ear to ear that couldn't fool anyone. He tried to stand as straight as possible, looking at her with his chin up in a defiant gesture, getting ready for a confrontation.

"Why hello there, young boy. What is such an… _adorable_ child doing here by himself?" She asked through gritted teeth, the effort to sound nice evident from miles away. "Are you here to visit a relative? That's… _wonderful_!"

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. He knew that Sue hated him ever since that visit where he had alienated all seniors against her. Why did she try to pretend that everything was okay between them?

"Well, yeah, I'm here to visit–"

"YOU!" Sue suddenly yelled, taking a step back and pointing a finger towards the now scared Lincoln. "You changed your hair, but I recognize that voice!"

 _Of course_ , he thought, raising a hand to touch his brand new chestnut hair.

"How could I forget it?" The nurse continued as she walked closer to Lincoln, her narrowed eyes fixed on him, her dewlap hanging under her chin. "The voice of discord. Whispering lies to the ears of these poor elders, tricking them into believing that they're still young and that they don't need to take care of themselves. How could I forget the voice that ruined this place?"

Lincoln took a step back when she was getting closer to him, but he quickly shook his head and returned to his original position, puffing his chest out to look bigger than he truly was. That woman was evil, and he didn't have to worry anymore about being respectful to his elders. With everything he was going through, being polite to strangers was not something he cared about.

"I didn't ruin this place, I saved it from you", he snapped back. "You made all these people believe that they couldn't have fun anymore. You made them feel bad and useless, and you grounded them without any reason."

Sue's nostrils were moving like they had a life of their own, each breath making them grow twice their size in a threatening manner. If only her neck wasn't hidden behind that gross dewlap, he might have even seen her swollen veins.

"I don't know what fairy tale you've been told, but that… that _adventure_ you dragged your grandfather on has only caused problems for this institution and the people who work here."

"Problems? Are smiles on people's faces problems to you?"

"They are when the cost of those smiles are the imprudence and lack of security measures", she answered in a whisper, the words barely reaching Lincoln.

"You're just pissed off because now all these people can have fun and do what they want", he said, his turn now to step forward, willing to give that terrible woman a piece of his mind. "Now they know they can have fun, and they don't listen to your dumb rules. And that makes you angry because you can't control them as easily as you used to."

Sue clenched her fists so hard she almost cracked her knuckles, and the way her lips were trembling managed to even scare Lincoln a little. He decided he wouldn't give up, though, and he replied to her rageful eyes with a look full of decision, daring her to contradict him.

They stared at each other in silence, challenging each other to look away for a moment that went longer than what Lincoln could find comfortable. There weren't many people that Lincoln didn't have a good relationship with. The Hazeltucky Hokers, that stupid millionaire Tetherby, Chandler, and Sue herself were part of that select group of people he didn't like. There were some that had redeemed themselves from his list, like Principal Huggings, who went from being a strict and stern principal to become a fellow comic book reader fan, but Lincoln couldn't possibly imagine the likelihood of someone as evil as Sue redeeming herself like that.

"Seventeen", said the nurse, breaking the silence, her small pupils fixed on the boy in front of her.

"Huh?"

"Seventeen", she repeated, before walking back to the reception desk and take a phone. She pressed some buttons and waited for a few seconds with the tube against her face. "Hello. Yes, it's me. There's a little boy that came to see you, he's at the reception. Yes, yes, we'll wait here."

Lincoln saw her ending the call abruptly, and he wondered what the hell was going on. Had she called his grandpa? Before he could ask her, Sue grabbed a file from the desk and opened it up around the middle.

"So far in this year, the Sunset Canyon Retirement Home has had a total of seventeen accidents that required medical assistance", she explained with disgust on her face, as she kept skipping pages until her index finger stopped in one. "Do you want to know how many of them happened since you and Albert started that… that riot?"

Lincoln buffed and crossed his arms.

"Are you really suggesting that it's my fault that…?"

"All of them, Lincoln Loud", she interrupted him, raising her voice. "Every single one of them happened after you came here."

He opened his mouth to reply, but Sue dropped her eyes to the file and began to read.

"Three fractures and a dislocation just on the first day, when four residents of the center and an eleven-year-old boy tried to lift a two hundred and twenty pounds, sixty-seven-years-old grown-up man", she read, every word escaping her mouth drenched in contempt. "The other thirteen injuries include two more dislocations, two bone fissures, two tendinitides, three grade two sprains, and two fractures, one of an elbow and one of a hip, the latter one requiring immediate hospitalization."

Lincolns arms slowly untangled and dropped until they hanged at his sides. He took a deep breath and made an effort to keep an angry expression on his face.

"You say that like it's my fault", he murmured, softer than he intended to.

"Oh, of course it's your fault", she quickly added, closing the file and stepping closer once again. "All those incidents happened because you made these poor people believe that it's okay for them to practice sports, to skip meals, to not take the medicines they don't like. Not all seniors have your grandpa's energy. They need to rest, to let their body repose after decades of hard work. It took me months to convince them to get into a healthy routine to keep them in shape, and you managed to sabotage and ruin my efforts in just one afternoon. No one wants to get to their age so tired, exhausted and with their bodies too weak to do what they used to do, and you convinced them that it's okay for them to be impulsive and to ignore the consequences of their acts. You think I only want to make them feel useless, but my priority is not to let them have fun, is to keep them alive and healthy."

"People need to be happy to be healthy", he said, the words somehow escaping the knot in his throat.

"Happiness, huh?" Sue said with a fake laugh. "Do you think they're happy thanks to you?"

Sue's eyes looked away from Lincoln and focused on something behind his back. It was then that he heard the sound of some wheels that were screaming for an oil change as they swiped across the gleaming and polished ceramic floors.

"A-Anthony?" Asked a familiar voice.

Lincoln turned around, and he had to catch his breath when he saw who had spoken.

"Bernie?" He asked out loud, taking a step back.

He, of course, knew his grandfather's friend, who had stood up against Sue's strict norms and who had given them a spare key to get into Albert's room. He looked almost exactly as he remembered him. A long face, accentuated by the wrinkled skin that was hanging from his cheeks and neck, that pointy nose that appeared between some round glasses that magnified the size of his eyes, and his hunched over posture.

Almost exactly as he remembered him, except that he now had some little plastic conducts coming out of his nose that were connected to an oxygen tube coupled to the side of an old wheelchair.

"Anthony", he repeated with a smile, his voice sounding just like a balloon running out of air, "it's… it's you… I wasn't-"

When he was finally close enough to take a good look at Lincoln, his smile froze at the same time his arm stopped pulling his wheelchair. He raised a trembling hand to fix his glasses.

"Oh… you… you're not Anthony", he said, only to stay silent and drop his shoulders.

"No, Bernie, he's not Anthony", Sue told him, walking next to the old man and putting a hand on his shoulder with a delicacy that was improper to a toad-face witch like herself. When she looked back at Lincoln, her eyes were filled with anger. "But you know him. Take a good look."

The nurse moved his wheelchair, reducing the distance between the young and the old. Bernie narrowed his eyes and studied Lincoln's faces for several seconds, until he smiled.

"Oh, yes!" He celebrated, whistling when the air slip through his teeth with the last word. "You're Old Al's kid!"

Lincoln gulped. He looked at Sue to distract himself from Bernie's respirator, but the nurse's evil face was just as disturbing.

"Hey, Bernie", he greeted him, waving his hand and showing all his teeth. "Yeah, it's me, Lincoln. I dyed my hair."

"Lincoln, Lincoln, of course. I still remember when I saw you on TV running after ol' Al. That man is something else, I tell you", he said between laughs. "What a nice surprise. I thought… well, I thought you were my grandson. His name's Anthony. He lives in Wisconsin, all over the other side of the Michigan Lake. He's around your age, you know? A very smart kid. Very smart, indeed."

Bernie closed his eyes and lifted his head up. It looked like the expression of someone enjoying a tasty meal, losing themselves in the flavor. Lincoln feared that he might have fallen asleep –best case scenario–, but he quickly opened his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I haven't seen him in a while. But tell me, what do you need me for?"

"I, uh..." Sue's murderous glare urged him to come up with an excuse. "I came to see my grandpa, b-but I wanted to see how's my friend Bernie doing!"

The old man laughed until he started to cough. Sue put a hand behind his hunched back, but he made a gesture like it was no big deal as he recovered.

"I'm sorry. Where were we?"

"I wanted to, uh, to know how you've been doing. What happened to…?"

Instead of finishing his sentence, he motioned his hands at the wheelchair.

"Oh, this?" Bernie said, looking at his sides to see the wheels that took him from one place to the other. "Dumb, old Bernie fell and broke his hip. My bones are not what they used to be. My brother Robert and I used to be in rodeos every year, and we were tough! One time, a bull hit me right in the ribs. I was tossed back like a rag doll and yet fell on my feet next to the stands! Robert wasn't so lucky. Up to the day he died, he still had a horn-sized scar right above his knee. Ah… Robert..."

His eyes darted off to the closest window, losing themselves in the landscape and the cloudy sky. Lincoln decided to ignore the numb feeling in his chest, slightly to the left.

"Why don't you tell him what you were going when you fell and broke your hip?" Sue suggested.

Bernie shook his head.

"We were playing Twister with Seymour and Charles. I got left leg, red, but I never got there", he lamented.

"Twister", Sue repeated, her accusing eyes fixed on Lincoln.

"I used to play it a couple of years ago", Bernie continued. "My son Paul and Anthony love it. Every Chrismas we-"

A new coughing attack interrupted him. Sue grabbed a mask next to the oxygen tank, but Bernie slapped her wrist to stop her.

"I'm okay, Sue", he said once he caught his breath. His big, magnified eyes looked back at the boy in front of him. "I'm sorry you see me like this, son. My body's not helping me anymore. Age didn't come soft on me."

Lincoln didn't know what to say. He was trapped in a conversation he hadn't planned, and what he was seeing wasn't motivating him at all. He fought to find the words, and in an almost desperate act, he finally said what his heart was thinking.

"The important thing is to make it this far, Bernie", he said with all honesty in a soft tone, trying to keep a poker face.

The man lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile, his cheeks filling themselves with wrinkles.

"But not like this, boy. Not like this", he said, sighing and making his smile bigger. "I wish I had your grandpa's energies. Ol' Al moves like he's still in his forties. Actually, the other d-"

His cough stopped him for the third time, but this time it sounded like he was about to spit out his lungs. Lincoln took a shaking step back, the sound of Bernie chocking with his own saliva struck in his mind. Sue moved fast, grabbing the oxygen mask and giving it to Bernie. After several breaths, the old man finally calmed down.

"Ok, that's enough", said the nurse with an authoritarian tone, "go to the lounge and use the mask for-"

"No! I don't need it!" He complained, taking the mask away from his face with trembling hands.

"We're still far away from Christmas, Bernie", Sue reminded him, with a strange tone Lincoln couldn't identify. It sounded kinda like a threat, but with some sadness and sympathy thrown into it, maybe?

Whatever that trivial observation meant, it had an immediate effect in Bernie. The old man remained in silence and dropped his shoulders, sinking into his wheelchair. New wrinkles spread on his forehead, and he finally let out a long sigh.

When he looked back at Lincoln, Bernie's eyes, magnified by his glasses, were brightless.

"It was a pleasure to see you", he politely saluted him, bowing his head as a farewell gesture. "You're a good kid. Good kid, indeed."

Not without certain difficulty, he put the mask back on, breathed in a few times, turned his wheelchair around and moved away at a turtle pace towards the lounge. Lincoln followed him with his eyes.

"Bernie's eighty-four years old", Sue said, staring at the senior. "To such a worn out body, a hip fracture is much more than just a broken bone. He's getting weaker every day. His defenses are dropping."

She didn't say anything else, and both her and Lincoln continued to look at Bernie until he turned into a hall and disappeared from their sight. Lincoln was biting his lower lip, trying to keep himself together.

"What does that mean? The thing about Christmas", he asked, if only to make some conversation to avoid the silence.

"His family lives in another state, and they can only visit him on Christmas", she explained to him, and her tone went from sad and calmed to angry and accusing. "But they couldn't come last time because they ran out of money for paying for his hospitalization fees and his hip surgery. Now Bernie struggles every single day, because he knows there's a big chance that he won't be here next Christmas, and he's terrified at the possibility that he might never see his son and grandson again."

Lincoln was taken aback by that. He had to close his eyes, and he found himself with shaky breathing.

"I-I… I didn't know… This isn't my fault", he hurried to say, shaking his head. "Bernie, he.. he should know what he can or can't do. I didn't force him to do it."

"You convinced him that he could do anything he wanted. You told everyone here that I treated them like babies instead of taking care of them. As far as I'm concerned, you are the responsible for what happened to Bernie. And you think he's 'happy' because he could play a dumb game? He might have enjoyed himself for fifteen minutes, but now he lives every day feeling that Lady Death is right behind him, and that she might reach him without letting him say goodbye to his family. A boy like you has no idea of how terrifying that can be to a man."

Lincoln didn't answer. He wanted to tell her that yes, he knew it very well. That, during so many days, that same fear had kept him awake at nights. That only the company of one of his sisters and their heartbeat against his chest allowed him to ignore his troubled mind to let the tiredness to consume him and thus fall asleep. That he couldn't go without a minute without feeling the presence of that dark entity in the corner of his mind, patiently waiting for him to relax for a second or to get distracted to attack him at the most unexpected moment. That every smile he put on his face felt like an excuse, a little masquerade to hide the true scared, dejected face of a kid that was facing something he was not ready for.

He wanted to tell her all that and more, but his fight to control his emotions hogged all his energies.

"Everyone here takes you for a hero, Lincoln Loud", Sue told him, leaning over him, looking right at his eyes and giving him the most eloquent look of contempt he had seen in his entire life, "but I know your true colors. You're nothing but a kid that pretends to know what he's doing. You take selfish decisions without thinking about anyone else but yourself. You ignore authority and you pretend that you have all the right answers. You lie to yourself to think that… What? Are you going to cry? Does it hurt so much to hear the truth?"

"Lincoln!"

Sue turned around and took a step back from him the moment she heard that female voice. Lincoln took a second to rub his eyes with his forearm before turning around. When he did, he saw two familiar faces walking towards him, and his heart jumped with both happiness and anxiety.

"Pop-Pop! Myrtle!" He greeted them with a smile just as he dashed their way.

Ignoring the surprised gasp from his grandfather, he ran until he had his arms stretched around Pop-Pop's wide hip, burying his face on his shirt. He embraced him tightly, in a way he hadn't done in a long time. He could feel Albert's confusion, but soon enough he also felt his strong arms resting on his shoulders.

"Won't you look at that! My little soldier came to see me without calling me first!" He said with a smile, giving him a couple of strong pats on his back that he barely felt as he was still recovering from hearing Sue's words.

"I missed you", he said, failing to keep his voice from shaking.

"I missed you too, kid, but tell me, what happened to the snow on your roof?" Pop-Pop asked, drawing away from the hug to take a good look at his grandson's hair.

Lincoln knew that question was coming, along with many others, and it was probably the hardest to answer. Albert had always been proud of the fact that his only grandson had his same hair. Lincoln himself was proud of it, being able to overcome the bullying his hair caused him by rejoicing on the fact that he looked like his grandfather. It made him feel special and also connected with one of his heroes.

How could he explain to him now that his white hair wasn't his heritage but a symptom of a terminal disease? How to tell him that no doctor had realized it to start a treatment in time because his grandfather's hair had deceived them? How could he tell him that he had dyed his hair brown because he couldn't stand looking at himself in the mirror just to see someone sick, dying? He could picture his grandfather feeling incredibly guilty. That he might feel ashamed for having been so proud of the snow on his grandchild's roof.

On the other hand, they had just given him the opportunity to explain why he was there in the first place. It was the moment to tell the truth and take that gigantic weight out of his shoulders. Being honest would bring relief to the heavy load of nerves and anxiety that he kept inside his stomach, the one that gave him nausea and made it hard for him to breathe. Sue's words were still on the back of his head, and telling the truth and allowing himself to cry along with them could help him get over this as fast as possible.

"Let me guess", Myrtle suddenly said, with a smile, "it was one of Luan's pranks, wasn't it?"

Lincoln looked at his grandfather's new girlfriend. After some initial discomfort, he and his sisters had accepted Myrtle into their lives. It was hard to dislike a woman so caring, kind and with so much love to give for them, even if sometimes she could get a little too excited to be with them.

"Oh, right, I should've known", Albert said, rubbing the boy's hair. "That girl's always stepping up her game, ain't she?"

Lincoln gulped. He didn't want to lie to his grandpa, but when he saw in the corner of his eye that Sue was still standing near him with her arms folded, he decided not to correct him. Not yet.

Pop-Pop also noticed the nurse.

"Hey, Sue. Everything fine?"

"For now, Albert. For now."

"Glad to hear that. So, Lincoln, why don't we go to my room to catch up?"

"That, uh, that sounds fine", he said. They would at least have some privacy in his room.

The three of them began to walk away to the stairs. Before stepping up, Lincoln gave one last look over his shoulder, only to find Sue's narrowed eyes fixed on him, following his every step.

As they went to the room, Myrtle and Pop-Pop began to tell stories from the retirement home. Scoot's escapades, Seymour's jokes, Sue's headaches. They laughed and told those tales with enthusiasm. Lincoln tried to catch on that same optimism, but he barely managed to fake a smile.

His mind kept going back to Bernie and the chances of him dying without saying goodbye to his family. That's what would've happened to him if Lynn hadn't hit him in the head with a soccer ball. It hurt him to think that he might be partly responsible for Bernie's dilemma. Had he really been a bad influence to the retirement home? He didn't see it that way. He would have never imagined it, and he wasn't sure if he should believe someone as evil as Sue. But what if she was right? What if, despite his good intentions, he had only caused wrong for everyone at the institution?

Was he still in time to amend it, or would he die with that black spot on his legacy?

He didn't realize where they were until they reached the room. The three of them walked inside, and Pop-Pop went straight to his wardrobe to get God only knows what. Lincoln decided to take a good look at the room since it might probably the last time he'd ever seen it. His grandfather was a simple man, and he didn't have too many stuff in his room other than what was necessary, but there were still some interesting things hanging on the walls. Old medals from his past, an oil painting of Royal Wood's landscapes he had bought a long time ago, and a big, framed picture of his eleven grandchildren smiling at the camera.

Lincoln stood in front of that picture. He remembered that day. They were all playing in the backyard when their mother called them for a picture. Now in the present day, he focused on his sister's smiling faces. He was surprised to see them so… young, considering that the picture was four months old at best. How could their faces have aged so much so soon? Were they really that much older? Or did their shiny smiles and cheerful faces made them seem younger in the picture?

He sighed. He would pay a fortune to see their happy faces at least one more time.

"Son? Are you listening to me?" Albert called him, shaking Lincoln out of his trance.

"Yeah, sorry, what did you say?"

His grandpa raised an eyebrow.

"I asked you if you're up for a chess lesson", he repeated, showing him the box with chess pieces he was carrying on his hands.

Lincoln couldn't help but smile. He loved chess.

"Sure, but I've been practicing", he remarked with confidence.

"Ha! I know all your tricks, boy. I taught them to ya."

Albert drew a table and put it in the middle of the room, with two chairs on the opposite sides of it. They put the board and sat down, while Myrtle sat on the bed to look at them playing.

"Wanna go white?" Albert asked.

"Sure."

Once ready, Lincoln moved his first pawn.

"Oh, the Slovak opening", Myrtle announced.

Pop-Pop smiled and moved his queen pawn.

"Wow, Albert, Karchavov's defense", his girlfriend said with admiration in her voice. "You're going aggressive on this one."

Lincoln and his grandpa shared a look and they both giggled. Myrtle knew absolutely nothing about chess.

They continued with the game, with the commentaries of an enthusiastic woman that invented names for all moves and who brought up references to made-up matches, like "the third game in the '76 finals between Birshnikovic and Tachikawa". Lincoln and Albert were pretty even in their levels. Pop-Pop had been a great player in his youth, but decades without playing had rusted him. Meanwhile, Lincoln was a very capable player. Chess was the only sport that he could give Lynn a run for her money. That's why she avoided playing against him at all cost, excusing herself with the argument that she wasn't a nerd. He was pretty satisfied with his capabilities, even if he never managed to win a tournament and take a trophy home.

A trophy…

He absently moved his knight to a powerful central square, forgetting that said knight was the only piece that defended his passed pawn. Pop-Pop immediately punished his mistake, capturing his pawn and turning the tables on him.

"Listen, honey", he said, looking over his shoulder to look at Myrtle, "I think Seymour told me he needed some help to find his key. Why don't cha go to see if he's alright?"

Lincoln was busy trying to find a way to fix his mistake, and he didn't even notice the knowing glance the other two people in the room exchanged, or the stark answer Gran-Gran gave before exiting the room. He moved his bishop just when the door was closed.

"Okay", Albert said without lifting his eyes from the board as he moved his knight to a dangerous position, "we're alone now. Wanna tell me what's wrong with ya?"

Lincoln moved uncomfortably in his seat. He knew what was coming, and he knew he couldn't prevent it. It was too late now.

"Nothing's wrong with me", he answered, moving his rook, getting ready for the blow.

"You've been distracted since you came. You haven't laughed at my jokes, and you look like you haven't slept since Easter", Albert said, moving a bishop and looking up to look at his grandson in the eye. "I know you, son, I know something's going on. Check."

Dang it. He had had a faint hope that his grandpa wouldn't have noticed it, but nothing escaped the once champion.

"Ok… Yes... It's..." he started, feeling his voice getting struck in his throat as he was forced to move his rook to capture the bishop. "...complicated."

Albert finally moved the knight he had prepared beforehand and captured Lincoln's rook, winning an advantage in the pieces exchange.

"Well, kiddo, you're talking with a boring, old geezer that doesn't have any plan for the rest of the day. If you need someone to talk with, you know your old man will be sitting here for ya."

He knew that Pop-Pop would listen to him. There was nothing in this world more important for the old man than his grandchildren, and every time they visited him, he only had eyes and ears for them. He loved them profoundly and unconditionally, and that big love was exactly what was terrifying Lincoln. The news would have a terrible impact on his grandfather, and just like Sue said, people at that age were more delicate. If a broken hip was causing Bernie so much trouble, how could Pop-Pop's body stand a broken heart?

Besides, maybe because of his attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, he was still busy thinking about everything Sue had told him. It hurt him to believe that there was a chance of him being an accomplice in the crime of denying a family their last goodbye with a loved one before he passed away. Destiny had given him a second chance. He had received the gift of time. Time to say goodbye, to make amends for the things he regretted. To, at least, pave the ground for his family and loved ones. It was painful to live with his days numbered, yes, but that was more than what many people got.

The idea that his advice had taken time away from Bernie terrified him.

"Am I… Am I a bad person?" He asked, continuing with the game.

"Of course not, why would you think that?" Albert answered, accepting Lincoln's pawn sacrifice.

The position wasn't favorable for the young boy. He put his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands. As he tried to calm down, he calculated his next moves. His grandfather didn't rush him or hurried him. He waited in silence, giving him room and time to think.

"I've done bad things", he said after the long silence, moving a piece and resuming the game.

"Everyone makes a mistake once in a while."

"But my sisters… they… they forgive me for everything", he lamented. "They treat me like I'm perfect, like I didn't act like a jerk so many times before."

"Now come on, kid, don't be so harsh on yourself. You're their family, of course they will forgive you, just like you would forgive them if they-"

"But I don't deserve it!" He exploded, raising his voice and pressing down his Queen so hard the whole board trembled.

Pop-Pop looked up from the board and arched his eyebrows.

"Lincoln, what do…? Oh, dang it", he said, interrupting himself when he realized he had made a mistake by moving a piece without really looking at the board.

The boy, in a sudden frenzy of rage, didn't waste any time in punishing him.

"They treat me like I'm a saint, forgetting about all the stupid stuff I've done!" He fumed, advancing on the king-sides castle.

"I think you're overreacting", Pop-Pop answered, lamenting his mistake and trying to get his defense ready.

"I uploaded an embarrassing video of all of them on the Internet to get more views. Check."

Albert moved his King to another square.

"Last summer I bought a pool for myself and I didn't want to share it with them", he said, getting his knight into the attack and letting out a sarcastic laugh, "but they didn't even doubt to invite me to play with theirs. Check."

"Lincoln-" Pop-Pop tried to intervene, but as soon as he moved his pawn, Lincoln captured it with his queen.

"On our last garage sale, I started to sell stuff that wasn't mine just because I was tired of losing to them. Check. I forced them to stop using electricity because I wanted to ace a school project, but I didn't want to give up playing video games. Check."

Albert couldn't answer anymore. He was too busy trying to get out of the mess he had put his king into. Lincoln's anger was evident not only in the tears that were getting caught up on the corner of his eyes, but also in the way he played, moving his pieces as fast as if they were playing a blitz game.

"I made them believe I was bad luck b-because… because I didn't want to support them at their things! The whole family went there, but I wanted time for myself! Check!"

"Lincoln, listen-"

"I ditched them to go on a limousine trip with an old rich dude I didn't even know! Check!"

"Lincoln-"

"When we… when we thought our parents wanted to get rid of e-everyone but one, I, I… I wanted to be an only child! Check!"

"Lincoln!"

Pop-Pop wasn't paying attention to the game anymore; the end had been set a couple of moves before. He now only had eyes for his grandson. He had never seen him like this, making such a desperate tantrum, so angry with himself, right on the verge of tears. He wanted to give him words of encouragement, to comfort him, to relieve the guilt he was obviously feeling, but there was nothing he could do if he didn't know what had him so troubled.

"I'm not a g-good person! I'm a jerk, and n-now, because of ME Bernie doesn't even know if he'll say goodbye to his family!"

He grabbed his queen and placed it in the square defended by his knight, lowering his head the moment he did it, his fists clenched tight and pressed on the edge of the table, his knuckles white with the effort. He didn't even announce the checkmate. Both of them knew the result, but most importantly, they weren't interested in a stupid game of chess anymore. Albert couldn't feel proud for his grandson's progress in chess, and Lincoln couldn't get any excited for having beaten his grandfather, his mentor.

"Bernie? What the heck are you talking about?"

Lincoln stood up and walked away to the bedroom's window, turning his back on his grandfather and resting his hands on the window frame. He didn't even stop to look at the landscape. He didn't care about the clouds that covered the sky, or the hill the building was standing on, or the woods that surrounded it. He looked at his own reflection in the glass, only to find the face of an angry, confused, terrified little kid. He furiously rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

"What happened?" His grandpa asked.

With some difficulty, Lincoln told him about his encounter with Sue, the conversation with Bernie, and everything he had just found out. At no point he turned around to look at Albert. He didn't feel strong enough to do it.

"Don't listen to that witch", Pop-Pop told him as soon as Lincoln finished telling him everything. "She's just angry at you because she can't keep us from having fun now. Besides, don't be naive, it wasn't your fault that Bernie broke his hip. He's a grown-up man, he knew the risks, but he decided to have some fun either way. Nothing wrong with that, it was just an acc-"

"Nothing wrong with that?!" snapped Lincoln, hitting the window frame with his fists before turning around to frown at his grandpa. "How can you say that? He broke his hip and his body's weak now! And… and he doesn't know if he'll make it to Christmas! What about his family? What about his s-son and his grandson? And what…. What about…?"

He shut his eyes and his hands went up to his head. His fingers closed around brown locks of his hair, and he squeezed and pulled, feeling absolutely powerless. Lincoln felt his chest shaking and the first tears of rage left his eyes.

"Oh, my boy..." Albert softly said, walking near Lincoln and resting his hands on his shoulders. "You're a wonderful kid. You're smart and you've done amazing things, but you can't take credit for inventing death. Bernie is over eighty years old, he lost a kidney a couple of years ago. Breaking his hip might have left him in a bad state, but the poor man could barely walk before that. It's hard to say this, but he was running against the clock even before you came here."

The ex marine slowly dragged his hands from Lincoln's shoulders to his wrists, forcing him to loose his grip on the hair he was threatening to tear off.

"B-But… but… his family..." Lincoln said, sobbing like a little kid.

"Boy… His family knows Bernie doesn't have much time left", Pop-Pop said with a hint of sadness on his voice. "I guess they're ready… or as ready as one can get. People die when they're old, Lincoln, everyone knows that. There's nothing we can do; that's how life works."

He couldn't take it anymore. The giant, convoluted mess he had in his mind and heart couldn't take another blow. His bottled up feelings finally escaped in the form of an explosive weeping, burying his face in his grandfather's shirt, crying with violence. His legs failed him, and if Pop-Pop hadn't been holding him, Lincoln would've fallen on his knees.

It was just so unfair… Old people died, people that got to a point in their lives where they were already done and they could finally rest in peace. When their bodies weren't what they used to be, when their dreams and life goals had been, at least, tried. Old people had time to ready themselves for their destiny. Their families could get ready, and at the end of the day, they could find some comfort in the fact that, just like Pop-Pop had said, it was just part of life.

This wasn't Lincoln's case at all. His death couldn't be understood. No one had expected it. His family didn't have a chance to get ready for this. Even worse: he himself didn't have the chance of making his mind up on the fact that he was going to die. No one could understand it, and just like every human being, Lincoln was afraid of was he didn't understand.

He didn't know how to find relief or comfort in his situation, and the anger he felt was what had him now moaning in pain and crying with the force of a vomiting person, with his stomach revolted and his throat ablaze. He could feel his face red, and the only reason why he fought to calm himself down instead of surrendering to his anger and pain was that his grandfather was there, embracing him. He had to be strong for him. He needed to find the strength within to explain what was going on.

"P-P-Pop-Pop… I'm..." The words couldn't leave his mouth with his shortness of breath and the violent spams of his crying. "I'm… I'm… I'm sc-cared..."

He felt his grandfather's soft caressing and a few soft pats on his back.

"Oh, Lincoln, I get ya now", he whispered with a smile. "Are you scared this old geezer might go through the same thing as Bernie?"

He wanted to correct him. He wanted to tell him that he had no doubts that someone as full of energy and in such a good shape as Pop-Pop should probably live to their nineties, at least. That it had never even crossed his mind that his grandfather could be close to kicking the bucket. All that and more he tried to say, but he couldn't in the middle of his wailing.

"Don't you cry, my boy, you don't have to worry", Albert continued. "I still have some fuel left in my tank. This old man is too stubborn to be going anytime soon."

"B-But… I… I..."

"Hey, hey. Listen to your grandpa. Even if I left tomorrow, you don't need to be sad. I know it's hard to understand it now. When you're young, you just want to live forever. So much energy, so many projects…! Death is terrifying then."

Those words only made him cry harder and louder.

"But in time, you'll change your mind. I'm not afraid of death anymore. The only reason I'm not letting it catch up to me is that I want to see what kind of man and women you and your beautiful sisters will grow up to be. My life was completed the moment you were born. You're my legacy, the biggest of my trophies. I don't brag about my medals with all these old greybeards, no! Your pictures in my wallet are what I show proudly! And listen, the day I'm gone, don't you cry for me. I'll be gone knowing that I leave a wonderful family behind me, a family that loved me. And I'll be with you in everything you do."

For a moment, Lincoln realized how inconsequential some pretty words could be in such a dramatic situation. He put himself on his sister's shoes, and he felt even more powerless when he understood that none of his speeches could have given them a fraction of the serenity and comfort he had expected. All the prep time and the practice he had put in those words had been in vain. And he felt like an idiot for believing that he could possibly be helping them. Listening to his grandfather repeating the same old trite and cliche words he had said so many times only made him feel worse.

It also made him realize that it was practically the same speech he had prepared to give to his grandfather. A carbon copy of it; the same words, the same message.

With his face still drenched in his own tears, he turned his head to his right and tilted it down, so Albert wouldn't see his face.

"I-I… I'm s-sorry… I'm sorry..."

His grandfather hugged him tighter and he made told him that everything was going to be alright, that it was all good, that he didn't have to worry, not realizing for a second that Lincoln wasn't apologizing for crying, but for being weak and for not being strong enough to tell him the truth.

* * *

A little over an hour passed until Lincoln walked down the stairs alone by himself. His feet were dragging, and every step down was like falling on a little cliff. His arms were hanging limp at each side of his body, swinging deedless with each step. His downcast look had no focus. His whole body was moving on autopilot towards the exit as his mind had a very intense, inner battle.

Part of him wanted to turn around, run upstairs into Pop-Pop's room, jump right back into his arms and tell him the truth. Do what he ultimately was supposed to have done in the first place. His grandfather needed to know. He deserved to know. He deserved to know what his grandson was going through. He was part of the family, and it wasn't right to leave him in the dark about the great tragedy that the Louds were living. On the other hand there was a part of Lincoln that was worried about his grandpa's health. He was seriously worried that Pop-Pop could have a heart attack upong hearing the news. That would really suck. Not only that, but there was also a third part that told him that there was nothing wrong in delaying the news for a little bit. After all, Lincoln had already suffered a lot, and having to break the news to his grandfather would only be another blow to his mistreated emotional state. It was probably his most selfish part talking, whispering into his ear, but Lincoln reminded himself that he wasn't perfect, that he wasn't as good of a man as he would like to believe that he was. That he also deserved to have his selfish moment.

That's how he convinced himself to keep moving. He had been in the retirement home for a long while, he could ignore Blarney the Dinosaur's advice and lie to his mother, tell her that he had already spoken with his grandfather. It hurt him, and he felt disappointed with himself, but after all he had been through, he honestly didn't feel ready or capable to do what he had to.

He reached the ground floor, and once again, the smell, the lightning, the silence, it all reminded him to a hospital, and any doubt or reason he had to stay there disappeared all of a sudden. He closed his eyes and took a breath, only to put his hands in his pockets and look down.

He walked with the idea of leaving that place as soon as possible. He wanted to go back to his house, to forget about everything, to be with his sisters. He might have take Lori's offer and ask her for a hug. He reached the middle of the entry hall, and just when it seemed his martyrdom would finally end…

"That was fast. Luckily."

He stopped dead on his tracks. He didn't move or say a thing.

"No one called the emergency line, so I assume no one ended up hurt this time. We're improving, aren't we? Baby steps."

Lincoln finally looked up. Sitting behind her desk, filling some files, there was Sue. She had some reading glasses on, with her eyes fixed on the papers in front of her, not even daring to look at Lincoln. He was standing there, staring at her. Thinking on how to reply; considering whether he should actually do it in the first place or not.

His first instinct was to answer that old witch and give her a piece of his mind. To get into an argument with her, to yell her mean, ugly words that he would have never dared speak in front of a grown-up. To get angry and let him self get lost in rage could be cathartic, as he had lately discovered. And even though he had had outbursts against his sisters and friends, so far he hadn't really exploded against everyone. Maybe that's what he needed, to allow himself to experience the most basic and low emotions and get even with Sue. He couldn't say she didn't deserve it.

On the other hand, the wisest thing would probably be to go without saying anything, and he knew that. To not give her the luxury of falling into her provocation. To avoid an unnecessary conflict. He was tired, drained, exhausted, the last thing he needed was to get even more stressed. It would be easier to swallow his pride, to quiet his inner demons and leave without saying anything.

And then he thought: with everything he had learned that day, and all the things he wanted to say, could he really leave without speaking his mind? He wouldn't have another chance to go back and deal with those issues. This was probably his last visit to the Canyon Sunset Retirement House. There was a big chance that he would die before getting the chance to come back. Why leave this chapter unfinished on his book? Would he really let Sue's provocation be his last experience there?

Biting his tongue, he fished his hands out of his pockets and got closer to Sue's desk. He stopped next to it, and his silence made the nurse to look up with an unamused face.

"What?" She asked, sounding almost annoyed.

That woman really knew how to make herself be hated.

"I… I'm sorry", he said, clearing his throat.

Sue left her pen on the table.

"You're sorry?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I only wanted to play with my granddad", he explained, raising his hands and motioning them in an unbelieving gesture, "I didn't know that… that things would change for everyone. I just wanted to have fun with him!"

Sue scrutinized him with her look, probably trying to discern how much truth was behind that apology. After a few seconds she buffed and turned her attention back to the papers she was reading.

"The damage is already done. I appreciate your apologies, but there's nothing to be done."

She grabbed her pen once again, but Lincoln interrupted her before letting her continue with her work.

"I still think you could've let them have more fun", he said, earning a murderous look, "but now I understand that you only did what you thought was best. You were trying to take care of them. And… and you know more than i do. I'm not… I'm just a kid, a-and, and, sometimes I don't realize that I don't know as much as I think I do."

The eyes and posture of Sue changed in a second. She took her glasses off, tilted her head and stared at Lincoln with narrowed eyes. He, meanwhile, was biting his lower lip. It was at that moment that he realized that he wouldn't leave the retirement house without telling the truth to _someone_.

"You know how… how to deal with old people", he said, and Sue was now definitely looking at him with surprise and worry after noticing his tearful eyes. "And I… I need y-your help."

* * *

The trip back home was even more silent than the previous one. Lincoln didn't know what his mother had been doing during the little over an hour that he had spent at the retirement house. Judging by the way she checked her phone on every red light, he assumed that she had been talking with someone, but he was feeling too dejected and discouraged to even ask.

 _Maybe she's talking with one of the girls_ , he thought. He was still intrigued about where had they all went to in the afternoon, when they had left him alone with his friends and Rita.

Aside from those sporadic thoughts, Lincoln tried to not think of anything. He pressed his head against the window and focused on his own breathing. The temperature was going down, and he gave credit to the reports he had heard about the storm coming up the next day over Royal Woods. With every puff of air that he blew he fogged Vanzilla's windows, and he focused on it to kill time.

They soon reached Franklin Avenue 1216, but Rita didn't get on the driveway. Instead, she stopped with the engine still running in front of the house. Lincoln looked at his home, and the familiar clash of emotions happened once again inside of him: the happiness of finding himself near his family one more time, and the sadness of knowing that the people that lived there weren't the happy, cheerful persons that had always been there for him. He was coming back to a home where he was forced to be strong. Strong for his sisters, strong for his parents. He needed to bury all his emotions and fears in the deepest parts of his heart so they wouldn't affect the rest of his family, and that was becoming harder with each passing day.

To make things worse, Lola and Lana were sitting on the steps of the stoop. Lola was leaning against her twin, their shoulders meeting, and they both were hunched over, with their heads looking down. He needed to conceal his feelings, and he would have to do it fast.

"I'll go buy the groceries. I'm taking Lily with me", Rita told him. "Your father is at the supermarket right now. We'll meet there and… and we'll buy the… the things for dinner."

Lincoln nodded, as he wondered how much pain her mother was going through, to the point where she could barely finish a simple sentence.

"What do you want for dinner tonight?" She asked him.

He was surprised by the question. It wasn't something that got asked too often. Usually, they were so tight on a budget that they didn't have the luxury of choosing what to eat.

"I don't know. Dad's lasagna?"

"Alright. Yes, we'll eat that."

After a moment of silence, Rita took her seat belt off and leaned over her son, trapping him in a tight, warm hug. She stroked his hair and filled his forehead with little kisses as she squeezed him against her like it was the last time she'd hug him –and that thought made him shake on his seat.

"I'll be back soon", she whispered, before opening the door for him.

The only boy of the Loud children stepped on the sidewalk, and a few instants later his mom drove away. The sound of the engine driving away was enough for Lana and Lola to look up, and even though he was a few meters away, Lincoln could see their eyes brightening at his sight.

"LINCOLN!"

Both of them jumped to their feet and started to run towards him. Knowing that he would need to plant his feet if he didn't want to get thrown to the ground, Lincoln knelt to be at their same height and to have a better grip. Just like he had predicted, both twins jumped right at each side of him, trapping him in a double hug.

"We missed you!" They both said at the same time, their faces rubbing against his chest.

"I missed you, too. What are you doing out here?"

"We were waiting for you", Lana said in a whisper, looking up at him.

"Let's play, please", Lola shyly asked, embracing him tighter.

It hurt him, oh, it hurt him so bad. Lincoln suffered along with his sisters, he felt their pain multiplied by ten. And even so, he also felt love. Love and a pinch of happiness for knowing that he had such beautiful, wonderful and lovable sisters like them.

"Of course. What do you want to play?" He asked them, forcing Lola to draw away from him long enough to look at his eyes.

Both twins shared an insecure look.

"What about… a tea party?" Suggested, surprisingly, Lana. Lincoln blinked a couple of times.

"You sure?"

She nervously played with the buttons of her overalls.

"If you don't want… maybe we can… uh..."

"No, I mean, I'm okay with it. But do you really want to do that?"

Lana bit her lip and slowly looked up at her big brother. Lincoln saw himself reflected in those bright blue eyes, and he smiled at her to give her a little confidence. His smile managed to ease Lana a little, and she finally spoke.

"I just want to play with you. I don't care what we do."

Somewhat touched by her words, he nodded and stood up. Lola had to release her grip on him, but she quickly grabbed his hand. Lana, not to be left out, was also fast to grab his other hand. He didn't bother telling them that he was ok with a tea party. He simply walked along with them to the door. Lola opened the doorknob and the three of them went inside the house.

They moved towards the stairs, but Lincoln stopped his march when he heard something that caught his attention. He stood in his place and tilted his head. It had taken him a few seconds to notice the difference. It was understandable, though; for over eleven years, it had never been something worth noticing, it had been part of his everyday life. Only now, after nine terrible days, the usual became strange. Only a few seconds focusing his hearing was enough to confirm that it wasn't his imagination, that it wasn't just wishful thinking, and a big smile spread on his face.

Music.

Cheered up and with renewed energies, he walked the stairs up, almost dragging his two little sisters. Once he was on the first floor, instead of turning to the right, he took a turn to his left.

"Wait!" Both girls said, planting their feet and stopping his brother.

"Huh?"

"You can't go there."

"Why not?"

They both exchanged a silent look. Lincon adored them and had an almost infinite patience for them, but he really wanted to go to Luna's room and see with his own eyes if his older sister was playing the electric guitar once again. Had she bought a new one, or did she have a spare one after smashing Chloe?

He resumed his march towards Luna's room, but once again, his younger sisters tried to stop him.

"Stop!"

"You said you'd play with us!"

"I will, I just want to-"

"Let's go now!"

"You can talk with Luna later!"

"Why?!" He asked, raising his voice and releasing his grip on their hands, turning around to glare at them.

The moment he let go of them, though, the strength they were using to stop him made them fall hard on their backs on the floor. The two of them looked up at their brother, their mouths agape, and they instinctively leaned closer to each other. Lincoln saw the hint of fear in their eyes, and he wanted to hit himself in the face with a mallet. He didn't even notice that the music had stopped.

"Guys, I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he said, kneeling down and throwing his arms around them. "I didn't mean to yell."

He was afraid that they might not forgive him so easily, but the moment he stretched his arms, they jumped right at him. He closed his eyes and cursed himself. This wasn't the girls' fault. They had nothing to do with everything that he was going through, and they were feeling just as bad if not worse than him because of it. They didn't deserve to be treated like that.

"Bro?"

The three turned around at the sound of Luna's voice, and Lincoln thought he heard Lola whispering an "uh-oh". Peeking her head out of her bedroom door, the musician was looking at him with worried, red eyes, like she hadn't slept in a long time, or like she had been… Well, he couldn't tell for sure, but he was confident that he knew what had caused those puffy, red eyes. If it wasn't for the fact that she had stopped putting make up on her face this last week, she would probably have a tale-tell trace of mascara running down her cheeks.

 _Perfect_ , Lincoln thought. Now she had stopped playing. And his hopes of seeing her playing her guitar with a smile on her face had practically vanished.

"Luna!" He said with a fake smile, though. "What's up?"

"You alright? Why did you scream?" The girl asked, evading the question and taking a step out of her room, closing the door behind her. Lincoln, always sharp and with an eye for detail that would make Ace Savvy proud, noticed how her hand was on the doorframe, controlling the entrance to her room. Like she didn't want anyone to get inside.

He looked back at the twins again. They both looked anxious. They didn't even dare to look at Luna. He squinted his eyes and raised an eyebrow. What were they hiding?

"Nothing, it was a silly thing. I shouldn't have raised my voice", he admitted. "I heard you playing… it sounded pretty."

"Thanks, but, uh..."

Luna bit her lower lip and sneaked a peek into her room. Lincoln heard some movement, and he was ready to see Luan walking out of there, but he then heard the unmistakable sound of a guitar being unplugged from an amplifier. Luna would never let Luan touch her expensive equipment. His surprise only increased at an alarming rate when he heard some whispers, Luna looked inside her room, sighed, took a step aside, and an unexpected visitor stepped into the hall.

He, of course recognized, her on the spot. Her light blue jacket, her purple jeans, and that blonde hair with a blue streak… it was impossible to mistake her.

"Sam", he said, surprised.

He looked at Luna. He knew the feelings his sister had for that girl. Sam had visited the house several times before. He still remembered that time when Luna thought she had lost Sam's pick, and they all turned the house upside down to find it. Still, it surprised him to see her there, given the circumstances. As far as he knew, none of his older sisters had been hanging with their friends ever since the early-mourning process had begun. They simply didn't feel strong enough, or motivated enough to be with someone else outside of their family. Only Lori had visited Bobby a few times during the past week.

"Hey, Lincoln", the girl said, with those sad, green eyes, and that soft voice that characterized her. She took a quick glance at Luna and then back at Lincoln.

"We… uh.." Lola began.

"...we'll be in our room", Lana finished. "Don't keep us waiting."

The twins stood up and ran to their room, leaving the two punks and Lincoln alone. Now that they had a little more privacy, Sam moved closer to her friend's brother and crouched down to be at his height.

"Lincoln, I… I'm so… I just wanted..." She shook her head, from side to side, looking frustrated. "Look, what I wanted to say is..."

He was prepared to receive her condolences. Empty words, like the ones everybody had sent to his phone the day before when the whole school found out about him. Words of sadness, words of hope, hackneyed phrases that didn't help him at all and that didn't make him feel any better. It's not that he blamed them. They were all clearly trying to do what they think was right, but sometimes, as he read those messages, he wished they were more honest. More real.

"...is that you're a wonderful kid", Sam told him, looking intensely at him. "You're always kind and attentive to me, and with how much Luna talks about you, and the love with which she does it… It's enough for me to know that you're amazing and that I'm lucky to know you."

Lincoln felt his jaw falling open and his eyes widening in surprise.

"Luna also told me you play the guitar. That's rad", she commented with a smile.

He had seen several smiles lately. From his sisters, from Clyde, from Ronnie Anne. He had seen his own smile in the mirror. Big, fake smiles from ear to ear. And yet, that little smile, that little gesture of the corner of her lips moving up, those little wrinkles next to her eyes… That little smile meant more than all the ear-to-ear ones that he had seen lately.

"I'm not… I'm not really good with it", he said, kinda overwhelmed by this conversation that he had not been prepared for. "But I once played the cello in a family band."

Sam's smile grew a bit.

"I would've loved to be there. You were probably rockin' it!"

Lincoln couldn't help but blush a little at her compliments. The girl giggled, and after staring at him for a few seconds, she gave him a little hug.

"You're a cool kid, Lincoln. Most importantly, you're kind, and that makes you special. Don't forget that."

Before leaving, she shook his hair with her hand.

"I dig the new look. It looks cute."

Sam walked back with Luna, who was smiling but clearly holding back her tears. Her friend put a hand on her right shoulder, and both of them walked back into the room, probably to calm down a bit and then go back to keep playing the guitar. Lincoln decided to leave them alone. Luna deserved to have some privacy with one of her best friends and the girl that had conquered her heart.

He then went into the twins room, walking right past Lucy and Lynn's. He didn't hear any sound coming from it.

The twins had already prepared the tea table. There was a free chair where Lola used to always sit, next to which, Lana was occupying her place. The rest of the seats were already taken by Lola's plushies and Hops. The dress wearing was standing next to the free chair, and patted it while looking at him. Not wanting to disappoint her, Lincoln took his place on the table. To his utter surprise, Lola rushed to her toy stove and grabbed the plastic kettle. She pretended to pour the hot water into the teapot, put it on a plate, and walked back to the table.

"May I offer you some tea, Prince Linkington?" She asked.

Lincoln stared at her for several seconds.

"Don't you want to sit and let me serve tea?" He asked.

"Of course not!" Lola yelled, looking at him like had suggested to take his shoes off for the tea party. "You're the guest of honor! Now give me that cup!"

The "guest of honor" was fast to raise his cup, fearing that Lola would stab him with a plastic fork on his throat if he dared to suggest something so evidently out of the discussion. The little princess' face morphed into a happy smile as she made the sound of the imaginary tea pouring into the empty cup. She made her round, serving all guests.

"Okay your Highness, what'd ya wanna talk 'bout?" Lana asked, drinking a little of the made up tea and burping after she was done.

Lola pursed her lips and squinted her eyes.

"I'd like to know where all our sisters are", he said, lifting his cup to his lips, pretending to drink from it and then wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"They're busy", Lola asked, refilling Lincoln's cup. "Luna's in charge of watching over us."

"Busy doing what?"

"We don't know, we didn't ask", both twins answered at the same time, without looking at their brother.

The twins used to talk at the same time. It was one of their talents, but this time the coordination had been too perfect. A little too much.

"By the way, where did you guys go to this afternoon?" He asked them, and he noticed how tense and rigid they went right after he asked it. "You didn't even say goodbye, and you left me alone with Ronnie Anne and Clyde."

Lola made a new round filling everyone's cups of tea before she answered.

"We didn't want to bother you..."

"Yeah, you looked happy with your new _girlfriend_ ", Lana emphasized in a low voice. "We didn't want to distract you."

"Guys, come on, you're my sisters. You know I'll always have time for you!" He told them, shaking his head in disbelief. "But it doesn't matter. Where did you go anyway?"

Even Hops seemed to notice the tension in the air after Lincoln's question, croaking to break the silence.

"Would you guys like a sandwich?" Lola asked, walking to another table where she had some small sandwiches ready. "These ones are real."

She started to hand out the appetizers, and Lana was quick to congratulate her for her culinary abilities. Lincoln sighed, but a little smile appeared on his face.

He would let them get away with this one.

* * *

The rest of his sisters came back home at different times. Lynn was the first one, only a few minutes after Lola's tea party began. Lucy and Luan were next, followed by Leni and, finally, Lori. They all went to the twins' room to say hi to him, but none of them accepted the invitation to join their tea party, excusing themselves saying that they had some other things to do. The twins didn't let Lincoln leave the room not even to go to the bathroom. He heard a lot of movement in the hall, and Luna and Sam moved to the garage to keep practicing, but no one let him know what was going on.

Lincoln enjoyed the long tea party Lana and Lola hosted for him, treating him like he was truly part of the royalty, making sure that he had every luxury he might need. They let him talk about comics, asking him questions about Ace Savvy and looking at him with religious admiration as he explained the _Captain Yahtzee on a Roll_ tie-ins for _Crisis on Infinite Decks_.

When they finished, he paid a visit to Luan. They talked for a bit in her room before they continued recording the secret project his older sister was helping him with. Lori almost walked into the room at some point and both of them were suddenly scared because they didn't want anyone finding out about what he was doing. Not yet, at least.

Supper came soon, and once again, they all ate at the big table, the whole family together. The big difference was that being so late, Lynn Sr and Rita invited Sam to stay for dinner. The presence of such a special guest —he and all his sisters knew about Luna's feelings towards the other girl— helped to keep a nice atmosphere for the evening, with light, entertaining conversations.

Lincoln enjoyed every second of it because, for one moment, as they all laughed and ate Lynn Sr's lasagna, it really felt like a regular dinner, and not like it was the last supper.

After finishing dinner and changing into his night outfit, Lincoln went into his room, grabbed the key his parents had gotten to him, and locked his door behind him. He had stopped doing it after Lucy and the twins found out about him. He didn't want to deny them the entry if they wanted to be with him, but right then, he had something to do.

He moved his bed a little, grabbed some folded papers, and displayed them on his bed.

His calendar and his objectives list. Operation Farewell. The first thing he did was to grab his calendar and, since it was past supper already, he crossed another day out. So long, Tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were the remaining white squares. The next week, with the red squares, was getting closer and closer. And he didn't even know if he would live long enough to see it.

As soon as he felt chills running down his spine and his legs shaking with fear, he closed his calendar and threw it behind his bed once again. He then grabbed his objective list, since he had some things to mark as done. He checked the " _Kissing Ronnie Anne one more time_ ", " _Play one last online match with Clyde_ ", " _Have a tea party with Lola_ " and " _Fixing thing up between Ronnie Anne and Lynn_ " items. The last one had been a late addition, written down the day when the two girls had their beatdown. He was happy to see not only how many items he had marked as done after one more day, but also because that one last item had been resolved without his intervention.

Ronnie Anne and Lynn, they were now friends.

Lynn…

He checked his list. Some objectives had been added after that first draft made during one night. It was easy to see which ones were newer since the original list was written with blue ink and every new objective was written with black. He lost the damn blue pen. There were a lot of objectives that he hadn't considered the first time around and that he had added after his talks with his sisters. As he read down the list, he focused on some of the objectives that had been added after his one on one talk with Lynn last Friday, after she escaped from school and ran to her karate dojo.

With a sigh, he hid the list behind his bed and left his room determined. He walked directly towards the room in the middle of the hall, and he knocked the door.

" _Come on in_ ", answered Lynn's tired voice. Was she already in bed, ready to sleep?

He opened the door and walked inside. Lucy was nowhere to be found, but his older sister was laying down transverse on the bed, her ponytail hanging over the edge and her legs pressed up against the wall, forming an L shape with her body. She was throwing a baseball up, catching it and throwing it again. He noticed she was wearing the same old jersey she used as a nightgown to sleep, with only that over her underwear, leaving her legs exposed, not caring that the window was open and a cold breeze made its way into the room.

Lynn caught the ball and tilted her head backward.

"Lincoln!" She said when she saw him, rolling back and falling on her feet on her bedroom's floor. She tossed the ball aside and walked closer to him. "What's up, bro?"

"Not much. How are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm doing… fine… I guess..." she answered, not really convinced by her words, and Lincoln understood just how stupid his question had been. Of course she wouldn't be doing well.

"Listen, do you have a second? I want to try something", he told her with a smile that, oddly enough, he didn't have to fake.

Sadness and other downer emotions were known to create an atmosphere that, just like a whirlpool, could drag everyone around into a spiral of endless negativity; but just in the same way, a radiant, honest smile could expand to others like fire in a pasture land. Lynn caught on Lincoln's smile, and she fiercely nodded, her ponytail bouncing behind her head. Lincoln grabbed her by her arm, over her left shoulder, and he escorted her to Lucy's desk. He made her sit on the stool and moved her little goth sister's books, feathers, and inkwells so there was nothing between Lynn and the mirror.

"Uh, Lincoln?" She said, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

"Do you remember the other day, when we had a talk?"

Lynn took a long breath and then sighed. Her shoulders dropped and her gaze moved down. She didn't need to ask which day he was talking about; in fact, he made no comment at all. She remained in silence waiting for her brother to continue.

"I loved being able to talk to you like that. I always thought I knew you better than anyone else… and I still do", he added, and Lynn cracked the shadow of a smile, "but turns out there was a lot about you that I didn't know. Like all the things you said about… well… the way you see yourself."

He remembered it all. He had asked her to talk about herself, just to kill time, and Lynn saved nothing. She told him about her fears, her secret hobbies, the things she'd love to learn. She told him that she wanted to learn to cook. That she was actually interested in learning how to polish her nails. That her secret crush was Francisco, a boy she knew from the baseball championship and her tennis classes. And she also told him that she didn't really feel confident enough to talk to him was because she didn't think she was pretty enough. She sent him an anonymous letter, yes, but she felt like she could never tell him her feelings face to face. She had told him that no one really paid any attention to her because she wasn't pretty or girly enough. And Lincoln had a very strong opinion about that.

"I think you're beautiful", he blurted out, like it was no big deal.

Lynn snickered and gave him a half smile.

"I'm serious", he defended himself, resting his hands on his sister's shoulders as he stood behind her.

"I believe you, but you're my brother", she said, moving her hands over Lincoln's, gently stroking them, "we're all beautiful to you."

"Yes, but I can also appreciate if a girl is pretty or not, regardless if they're my sister. And I think you're pretty. Look at the mirror, come on."

Lynn raised an eyebrow, but she complied with her brother's request. She looked at herself in the mirror and dedicated several seconds to appreciate her face and body.

"I don't see what's pretty", she whispered, barely loud enough for Lincoln to listen to her. He gave her shoulders a little squeeze.

"For starters, I think you have some cute hazel eyes", he told her, looking at her reflection. "I've always thought you and Luan have the prettiest eyes in the house."

"The twins have blue eyes", Lynn said with the beginning of a smile spreading across her face.

"Yeah, and they're really pretty too, but your eyes are just as pretty. Besides, you have freckles. Everybody likes freckles, only the most attractive human beings have them", Lincoln said, puffing his chest and showing proudly his own face.

Lynn giggled and rolled her eyes, giving him a funny look afterward.

"Not to mention you have the most squeezable cheeks in the house", he added, moving his hands up to Lynn's cheeks and playfully squeezing them.

"Stop! Lincoln! Quit it!" She complained, shaking her head to free herself from her brother's hands.

Lincoln wasn't lying about Lynn's cheeks. For some ironic reason, she had always had the softest, squishy and most round cheeks in the family, and everyone found them adorable. Every time they could, they pinched them or poked them with a finger, telling her how cute she looked. This, of course, served to enrage the little athlete, making her blush as she, with her face red with shame, usually yelled and cussed. She defended her honor by saying that she wasn't cute at all, chasing down whoever had said such a disgraceful thing, trying to beat them up. She always looked and acted mad, but Lincoln knew that deep down she really liked those tender gestures.

Lynn finally stopped him by grabbing his wrists and moving his hands away from her face.

"Don't do that!" She complained, puffing her cheeks in an angry way, but that only made her look even more adorable.

"See?" Lincoln said, pointing at the mirror with his chin. "You look pretty."

"Of course not."

"Well, I think you do."

"Well, you're crazy."

"I trust your girl's gut when you guys want to give me advice. Why don't you trust my men instinct?"

"Because you're not like the rest of the boys. You're better", she rushed to clarify, "definitely better than everyone else. But I know that the rest of the boys my age won't take a second look at me."

She was still holding him by his wrists, which she gripped a little tighter. Lincoln leaned forward, leaving his head next to his sister's.

"I'm convinced that you're beautiful, and it's just a matter of time until another boy realizes it."

Lynn buffed and rolled her eyes again.

"If you're going to lecture me about 'sooner or later someone will notice you and love you just the way you are', I appreciate the thought, but-"

"Actually", he interrupted her, "maybe you could use some little changes."

Lynn gave him a murderous glare.

"I'm not saying you should change who you are or to have a complete makeover", he rushed to clarify. "I think you're beautiful right now, at this very moment, but not every other boy is as lucky as I am to see you every day and notice all your pretty features, you know? People don't have time to appreciate the beauty, they just look at the surface of things. So maybe we could work some little tweaks to make you stand out a little more at a first glance. Like, what if we change the ponytail?"

Lynn released her brother's wrists, grabbed her ponytail with her hands and turned her body to give Lincoln a horrified glance.

"Are you nuts?! It's streamlined! Aerodynamic! I need it to play sports!"

"I can understand that, but when you're not training-"

"I'm always training."

"...when you're not _competing_ , why not wear your hair down?"

She looked at him like he was suggesting a deadly sin.

"Lincoln, I can't wear my hair down. It's annoying. It's too girly not… not like me."

"Would you let me try it?" He asked. "Give me a chance. Just one. If you don't like it, I won't suggest it again, but think about it. You can't say you don't like it without even trying, right?"

Lynn looked away. One of her hands unconsciously stroked her ponytail as she bit her lips and her eyes looked at the desk, undecided. She turned her head to stare at her bedroom's open window before fixing her eyes on Lincoln. Once again, she puffed her cheeks, looking at him with venom in her gaze.

" _Nobody_ can know about this, you hear me?" She muttered.

She sat looking at the mirror, her back straightened and a red blush spreading across her face. Lincoln smiled and with a soft movement he took her scrunchie off, letting his sister's hair fall free a little past her shoulders. Her hair was so used to be confined in a ponytail that it didn't fall either straight nor even. Not to mention that Lynn wasn't really the type of girl that worried about the state of her hair. She didn't use as many products as Lola, Leni or Lori, so her hair wouldn't be easy to work with.

Lincoln had a lot of experience helping his sisters, especially Lola, with their hairstyles. He searched Lucy's drawers for a comb, and he went back behind Lynn. He put the brush on the top of her head and gently moved it downwards. Even while doing it slowly, the comb got stuck with Lynn's hair, pulling it and causing her some pain.

"Lincoln!"

"Sorry, sorry", he said, trying to do it a little gentler this time. "What conditioner do you use?"

"We don't have an air conditioner, dummy, we use a fan."

"Wow. This will take some time."

And some time it took, indeed. The first minutes were spent trying to untangle Lynn's hair, undoing all the knots he could find. Once the hair brush could move without any obstructions, Lincoln allowed himself to relax and focus on softly caressing his sister's long hair. The difference to the touch was noticeable when compared to Leni or Lola's, but it wasn't as bad as he would have expected, and he wouldn't give up. With all those years of experience on his back, he delicately and carefully worked Lynn's hair, brushing her with his expert hands, determined to make her realize how beautiful she was. He wanted her to understand that she could be pretty like any other girl. That she wasn't less than anyone.

So focused he was that he didn't realize something was odd until Lynn moved an arm to rub her eyes with the back of her hand, wiping away some tears. He stopped everything he was doing.

"What happens?"

Lynn didn't say a thing. With both hands rubbing her eyes, she leaned back, resting her back against Lincoln's chest. He threw the brush to the floor and hugged her from behind, the hairstyle suddenly forgotten. With a shaky sigh, Lynn rested her hands on Lincoln's forearms and gripped him tightly.

"Sorry, I'm… Ugh… I'm…"

She couldn't finish. She sunk into her seat, losing herself in her brother's comforting embrace. He held her even closer to him, and at the risk of her getting mad or a little annoyed, he gave her a soft kiss on her temples. He received no complaint.

He was afraid that Lynn might get carried away by the sadness and she would start crying. He would be there for her to contain her, to help her deal with her feelings and hopefully help her feel a little better. To be honest, though, he wasn't in the mood and he didn't have the energies to deal with it. It was a relief when Lynn started to take deep breaths, letting it out in long, heavy puffs. In just a minute, she managed to get a grip and she looked calmer now.

They still remained in silence, close to each other, until she spoke.

"Lincoln?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really think I'm pretty?"

He smiled.

"Of course, you silly", he told her, moving away from the hug.

He grabbed her hair and made some little arrangements with his bare hands so she could see it better in the mirror. It was now falling tidy on her back, with just a few waves where the scrunchie always squeezed it and where Lincoln's arms had been when he hugged her from behind. He moved some locks of hair so they would rest on her shoulders, and Lynn started to turn her head to admire her new look from all angles.

"This way your hair frames your face better", Lincoln explained to her. "If you go to school like this, everybody will turn around to look at you, and they'll see your face in a way they haven't before. What you need to do now is to make your eyes pop. You don't need to use a ton of makeup. Just put on a little eyeliner on the upper eyelid and people's attention will be dragged to your eyes, and that's when you'll win them over. Believe me, Francisco will be asking you out in no time."

She blushed and kept staring at herself. Her legs were swinging back and forth on the chair, and the smile on her face was so honest and happy that it dissimulated her shiny cheeks, soaked with the trails of the tears that she had cried just a couple of minutes ago. Lincoln had never seen Lynn like this, but she knew Lola and Leni enough to realize that, at that moment, her athlete sister felt pretty.

"No wonder Lola has you as her coach. If you could change me to look good, you must do wonders for her", she softly said.

"I didn't change you. This is still you; I'm just suggesting a different hairstyle to accentuate the beauty you already have."

"I guess I could try this… When I'm not playing, of course. My ponytail doesn't just keep my hair out of my eyes; it's also good luck."

Lincoln gave her a curious look. He had never asked her this, and he guessed that there was no point in not doing it. If he didn't ask her now, when would he?

"With how much you train and how great you are, it's still hard for me to accept that you believe in luck", he honestly told her.

Lynn looked at him over her shoulder and arched an eyebrow.

"Luck always plays a big role in sports. I can be the best player on the field, elude four rivals and shoot to score, but if I hit the ball just half an inch over where I should, it can go everywhere. Or the field may have a tiny bump and the ball bounces off in an unexpected way that confused the goalie. Or a basketball can roll on the ring, and the stadium's air current says if it falls in or out."

As she kept explaining to him that every sport had a lot of random moments that could change and influence the result, he couldn't help but smile to his insides when he saw the passion with which she defended her beliefs. Sports wasn't the only thing that defined his older sister, but they were clearly her favorite activities and hobbies in the world, and it brought joy to his heart to see that even during these dark times, she was able to cope and smile for a few minutes by talking about her passions.

"Of course hard work is important", she continued. "When I started with the Turkey Jurkeys I was the only good player and we lost the first championship, but I trained them hard for the rest of the season and we won the next tournament. I was finally able to finish my FLIBBR!" She remembered with a smile. "But yeah, luck matters, too. Oh, come on, don't look at me like that. You can't really blame me for being superstitious. I've been Lucy's roomie for six years. With all the things I've seen, I'm more than willing to do everything in my power to cast away bad energies."

Lincoln raised his eyebrows, impressed by what he heard. It had never occurred to him that Lynn's superstitious nature was related to her roommate.

"Speaking of Lucy… where is she?" He asked, looking back at the rest of the empty room. Was she trying to sleep inside her coffin under the bed?

Lynn turned her stool around, and her face darkened a little. She pointed at the open window with her left hand.

"She went out to the roof", she explained with sorrow. "I don't know what she went to do. I tried talking with her, but she won't let me."

Lincoln glanced at the window. The breeze was cold.

"Lincoln… Go with her."

The boy looked at his sister. She didn't sound totally convinced of her own words, and he could only imagine how much she wanted him to stay there with her. His eyes must have reflected his worries, because she was quick to fake a smile and punch him in the arm.

"Don't look at me like that", she said. "I'm worried about her. This is the first time I really don't know how to help her. She needs you, bro."

Lincoln sighed. The two of them stayed in silence for a few seconds until he made up his mind. Even though she wasn't precisely euphoric, he had managed to at least help Lynn a little. If he could help another sister… the more the merrier.

"We'll keep working on your look tomorrow", he warned her, looking at her with a smile.

Lynn let out a giggle and raised her fist to punch him. He closed his eyes, getting ready for the impact, but he instead heard her standing up, and he was trapped in a bear hug. He was about to tell her how much he loved her the moment she released him, but Lynn was faster and she gave him two punches in the shoulder.

He moaned in pain and glared at her, looking surprised, confused, and betrayed.

"Two for flinching", she said with a smile, shrugging her shoulders and walking towards her bed.

Lincoln stood there without knowing what to say. He went to the window, ready to climb to the roof. As he stepped on the little nightstand and planted his feet on the outside edge of the window, he smiled. He prayed for Lynn to never change.

His happiness didn't last. The gelid air of the night hit him as she stood outside the window, and his whole body shook. He clung on to the window. How could Lucy be out there with this cold? He shook his head and decided to end this as soon as possible. To climb from the window to the roof was no easy task. Most people would consider it dangerous, impractical and probably suicidal, but in a house where privacy was a luxury seldom enjoyed, the kids had learned to escape to the roof every once in a while.

With a dexterity that he had never before shown in gym class, Lincoln soon reached the slate roof. He flinched when his hands and bare feet touched the cold surface, but he didn't care. He raised his head, and he spotted Lucy's figure right on the act.

His little sister was balled up, sitting there with her head looking up to the sky, wearing her black pants and white t-shirt, her usual sleep attire, as she hugged her knees against her chest. He could see her shaking.

"Lucy, what are you doing here?" He asked her, crawling on all fours next to her. "You're gonna freeze here!"

His sister didn't answer. She didn't even turn to look at him. She kept her head pointing slightly up, staring over the backyard tree. A new breeze blew past them, and both kids shook. Lincoln sat next to his little sister.

One time, he and Clyde had decided to start a project that they called "The Girl Guru". He, Lincoln Loud, promoted himself as an expert in females and girls of all ages, trying to give advises to his classmates on how to interact with girls in order to be liked by them. Their plan had miserably failed because they didn't realize that all girls weren't the same, and that they all behave in different ways and like different things. In hindsight, Lincoln should've noticed the giant flaw in his plan, since he knew for a fact that not all girls were the same. He knew it first hand, since he lived with ten sisters, every single one of them unique in their own way.

What worked for one wouldn't work for the rest. Some of his sisters needed someone to talk with. Other sisters needed physical reassurance. Lucy, his little goth sister, needed time. Silence. Space to think, to feel. There wasn't much he could do to help her other than being there for her. And that's what he did. He sat by her side, determined to wait as long as she needed him to. The blistering cold had his jaw shaking, but he didn't complain. For Lucy, he would stand those temperatures and worse.

None of them said anything for a while. Lucy was staring at the thick, dark clouds that covered the sky, painted with the orange tones of the city lights beneath them. Lincoln could only stare at her. Nothing in the world mattered more to him than her.

After what he felt like half an hour, the girl's soft voice broke the silence of the night.

"I'm waiting for a shooting star", she simply said.

Lincoln blinked, surprised. He looked up at the sky.

"It's cloudy", he commented, pointing out the obvious.

"The wind moves the clouds. Every once in a while I can see a piece of the sky", she said, hugging her knees tighter to her chest. "If… If I'm lucky… Maybe I can catch a shooting star."

Lincoln was biting the inside of his cheeks. Understanding dawn on him. His hand moved up to scratch his head, trying to come up with an idea, with something to say. As much as he knew his sister, it was hard to find the right words for her. Changing the subject didn't seem like the best idea. She wouldn't get distracted with trivial stuff. He was absolutely lost, he didn't know what to do.

It was then when his eye caught something in the sky, and the answer appeared in front of him.

"Lucy, look", he urged her, pointing frantically to the sky. "A shooting star!"

She jumped on her knees, almost snapping her neck with how fast she turned her head to look at where he was pointing out. She opened her mouth excited, only to immediately close it and drop her shoulders, disappointed.

"It's a plane", she wept.

They both stared at the little twinkling light as it moved across the distant sky.

"It looks like a shooting star to me", he said, giving her a warm smile. "Why don't you ask for a wish?"

Lucy ducked her head. She didn't answer him, and for a moment he wondered if maybe he hadn't hurt her feelings.

"Aren't you going to ask for a wish?"

"You know what my wish is", she mumbled, burying her head between her knees, "and I don't want it to be a joke."

Yeah, he had definitely hurt her feelings. The idea sounded much better in his head. He leaned closer to her until their shoulders were touching, and he wrapped an arm around her. Lucy immediately rested her head against him.

"I'm going to pretend that it's a real shooting star", Lincoln said, her head looking up. He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them with a smile. "Done. Wanna know what I wished for?"

A car drove by the street, its noise breaking the monotonous silence of the night.

"I wished that my sisters never forget that I love them", he said, holding Lucy in his arms. "And that… that every time they miss me, they remember that I don't like seeing them sad. That they know that even if they can't feel my arms, I'll be hugging them whenever they need it."

He could have gone on. He had a lot to say, a lot of things he could wish, and he could list them all out without stuttering. He would have done if Lucy had needed it, but when she jumped on his lap, wrapped her arms around his chest and buried her face on his pajama, Lincoln decided that it was enough.

He tried to comfort her the best way he could, stroking her back, her hair, and whispering pretty words into her ears as she allowed her emotions to take over. The plane disappeared in the horizon, and with the clouds hiding the stars and the Moon, there was no one in the night to watch over the two children on the roof. It was like nature itself understood that the moment was only theirs.

They remained there for a long while, until Lucy sneezed. Lincoln put a hand on one of his sister's exposed arms.

"You're freezing", he said. "If we stay here you're going to catch a cold. Let's go inside, okay?"

He noticed his sister's hesitation as she clung even harder to his body.

"You need to warm up. Why don't you bunk with me tonight?" He suggested, smiling when she looked up to meet his eyes. "You'll be warmer there."

To the untrained eye, it would appear that Lucy's face hadn't changed at all, but Lincoln knew her like the palm of his hand, and he spotted right away how happy his invitation made her. The girl limited herself to softly nod her head, and they both stood up. Careful not to slide off or trip, they crawled to the edge of the roof. Lincoln was about to climb down to the window when she pulled his sleeve.

"What?"

"You do know that you don't have to say what you ask a shooting star, right?" She asked, with just a hint of worry in her otherwise monotonous voice. "If you say it, they don't come true."

Lincoln shrugged and gave her a new smile.

"It was a plane", he stated, matter of factly, "maybe it's not up to the starts, but to ourselves to make our wishes come true."

He let her thinking about his words as he maneuvered himself back down to the window of his sisters' room. He carefully put a foot on the nightstand and jumped on the carpet. Lynn was looking at him as she sat on her bed, playing once again with her lucky baseball.

A minute later, Lucy's small figure joined them, closing the window behind her. The three sighed in relief now that the cold breeze was gone.

"Sigh. Let's go", Lucy said to Lincoln, grabbing him by his wrist and dragging him towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Asked Lynn.

The boy and the goth girl stopped in their tracks. They exchanged a glance and then looked at Lynn.

"She'll be bunking with me tonight", Lincoln explained to her, "is that okay?"

"Oh", Lynn said, failing to catch the ball she had thrown to the air. "Yeah, uh, sure. Of course. Good night, then."

She bent over to grab the ball and returned to her game, actively avoiding to look at her younger siblings. Lincoln felt a knot on his stomach to see her like that. He wondered if Lynn would be alright sleeping by herself in her room tonight. He felt a little guilty, but he mostly felt Lucy's elbow on his ribs. He turned to look at his sister, wanting to ask her what the hell was wrong with her, but the serious look he found silenced his complains. He needed a few seconds to interpret it, but when he did, he couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, Lynn", he called her.

His sister looked up at him.

"Remember that time when you and Lucy had that pasta fight in this room?" He said. "You both had to bunk with me for the night. We were a bit cramped, but we fit in my bed. Whaddaya say?"

Lynn's face transition from sadness and resignation to extreme happiness was quite a show. Almost as impressive as what she did next, standing up on her bed and jumping forward, doing a front flip and falling on her feet next to her siblings.

"Sounds like a plan, bro!" She told him, as she wrapped her arms around Lincoln and Lucy's shoulders, dragging them closer into a hug they both accepted and returned.

Things were not okay; the situation was as terrible as it had been lately. But at that single moment, that instant where his two closest sisters in age had him sandwiched in a double hug, Lincoln allowed himself to feel calm. Calmed because he could live and enjoy the moment, without thinking about what was to come, without thinking on anything other than the love he had for his family, and the love hey had for him.

It had had some ups and downs, but overall it had been a good day. He had completed a couple of objectives on his list, he had… well, he had prepared everything so his grandpa would know the truth, he had played with Clyde, he got himself a girlfriend, and now he was wrapping it all up with a great moment with his sisters.

He couldn't ask for more.

Lynn broke the hug and looked at them with a smile.

"You guys go and get things ready. I'll go to the bathroom to take the Browns to the Super Bowl", she said between laughs, patting her stomach before running away into the hall.

Lincoln and Lucy exchanged a worried look. His bucket list was long, but he definitely had no item reserved to receive a dutch oven.

* * *

.

.

 _Well, was that too long? I hope you could enjoy it. The sisters, Lynn and Ronnie Anne, the three friends playing, Sue, Bernie, Pop-Pop, the twins, Sam, Lynn, Lucy… A lot to sink in. This is because we have TOO LITTLE time left. And by "too little" I actually mean "you have no idea how close we are to the end". The sisters that haven't got too much screentime will soon earn their paycheck._

 _This chapter is titled "The Calm". It was pretty calm, I think, without depressing parts or anything. But I think you guys are pretty smart, and if this chapter was titled "The Calm", I assume you can make an educated guess on how the next chapter will be called. The fact that this was pretty light is because we have something coming._

 _After all, after the calm…_


	23. The Storm - Part I

_On this very same day, two years ago, the first chapter of Requiem for a Loud was being published on this site. An idea I had in my had for several weeks, that I planned from beginning to end, that I divided in chapters, and that made me go "Yeah, I need to write this". Two years! That's awesome. Thank you all for following this story._

 _These past few months were very tough for me. Not only did I have to deal with the start of a new year of college, with everything that brings with it, but shortly after posting the last chapter, I had the disgrace of losing my grandfather. It was tough, and it took me a long time to be able to sit down to write again. This story in particular, as you can imagine. I haven't done much since then because of this. If you've seen me posting drawings and stuff, that's mostly because my poor economical situation led me to open drawing commissions, but even making those drawings had severe consequences with my univ because I couldn't use my time properly._

 _Finally, however, I'm bringing you Chapter 23. The extremely important Chapter 23. This chapter is what Infinity War was for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The culmination of two years of work, the cornerstone of a wonderful journey that led me to meet wonderful people, making new friends, and rediscover myself as an author._

 _If you ever take the time to read the story without waiting months between chapters you'll notice that in almost all chapters (not all of them, but a lot) there's a reference to the weather. The sky, the Sun, the clouds… The way the weather relates to Lincoln's mental and physical health has always been part of the subtext I've worked with, and here we reach the big finale, the culmination of everything I've been setting up for so long._

 _I give you, ladies and gents,_ **The Storm – Part I**.

 _Why part one? Because the full chapter (already written) is 33K words long, which is insanely long even for me. There is, however, a point in the chapter that makes total sense for me to divide it and leave it on a cliffhanger. This is the first part. Don't worry, however, because part two is already finished and will be posted next week's Friday._

 _ **Disclaimer:** The Loud House doesn't belong to me. Everything from this show is property of Viacom, Nickelodeon and their rightful owners._

 _Second disclaimer: I shamefully admit I didn't proofread this. Lol. Sorry about that._

* * *

. **  
Chapter 23:  
** **The Storm**

 **Part I**

 **.**

Lincoln woke up knowing that he had had a nightmare, but unable to remember it. He knew it even before opening his eyes, when his consciousness activated his senses and reality fell upon him, making him feel oppressed, trapped, cornered against his own bed. He tried to remember what he had dreamed and the effort proved to be in vain, for it wasn't images what he remembered but sensations. Emotions. Whatever it was that he had dreamed, he knew that it had affected him deeply somehow, since he could feel his back sweaty, his chest under pressure, and his breathing accelerated.

He tried to open his eyes, but the eye boogers kept his eyelids closed. Only when he tried to lift an arm to rub and wipe his eyes he felt a weight on his elbow, which made him stop for an instant before his mind became alert and aware of what was going on, his surroundings, and the reason why he left trapped.

A warm smile appeared in his face as he lowered his arm down again, and a breathing sigh slipped from between his lips. He was convinced that he had had a nightmare, but his fears vanished like dewdrops with the first rays of the morning Sun as he realized that the pressure in his chest was nothing more than Lucy's forehead leaning against him, and that his sweaty back and the weight on his arms was the product of the determination with which a sleeping Lynn hugged him from behind, securing him in her protective embrace as if she did not want to let him move.

She was definitely succeeding if that was her goal, but Lincoln didn't mind. He kept his eyes closed and didn't move, deciding to remain in the comfort of the cocoon of containment, affection, and security in which his sisters had locked him up. He breathed a couple of times, feeling the scent of Lucy's hair, losing himself in it and in the safety with which Lynn's right arm crossed over his body.

During the past week, Lincoln had bunked up with some of his sisters more than he ever remembered doing it in recent years. First with Luan on the couch, then with Lynn, then with Luna in the tent they put on the backyard, then the twins, and now with Lucy and Lynn, again.

He recalled that last night Lana and Lola had peeked into his room to wish him a good night. Right then he thought it was cute that they would approach him just so he could give them a little kiss on their foreheads and a big hug, but now that he thought about it… They had probably went there to ask him if they could bunk with him tonight, but said nothing when they saw Lucy and Lynn occupying all the space that his small bed was able to provide them. He would have to invite them over to bunk with him tonight, but what was he supposed to do if Lucy also asked for a second night sleeping right next to him? What if Luna said that she felt awful and needed to have him in her arms? What if it was Luan the one that needed him? They all needed him, but he couldn't divide himself in ten. He needed to allocate himself and his time in a fair way, because he truly loved being with every single one of them, and he wanted to make use of what little time he had left to—

His eyes popped open without a need to rub them. He sat up, not caring that his sudden movement moved the mattress, shaking Lucy and moving himself away from Lynn. All the easiness and security he felt vanished along with the color of his face. His hands moved up to rub and scrub not only his eyes, but his whole face, pulling his cheeks and ending up at the roots of his hair, clinging to his chestnut locks, threatening to pull painfully from them.

He no longer had his sister's arm lying on his chest, but he still felt suffocated, as if a child was sitting on him, preventing him from breathing normally. He had to part his lips and breathe through his mouth to make sure that enough air entered his lungs. His stomach twisted inside. He was about to vomit.

He peeled off his blankets without even bothering that he was uncovering his sisters, who remained in their peaceful slumber. He stretched one leg over Lynn and with a small jump he got out of bed. He almost fell to the floor when his knees gave up under the weight of his body, but he managed to hold on to his desk at the last moment. Feeling dizzy and disoriented, he opened the door of his room and walked quickly to the bathroom. He opened that door too as far as the hardware allowed it and entered the small room.

His first instinct was to throw himself on his knees in front of the toilet, waiting for whatever he had eaten to leave him soon so he could feel better. When the minutes passed and nothing happened, however, Lincoln began to calm down. The first step was to lean against the wall, sitting on the floor, and looking up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

Concentrating on his breathing, on the cold of the tiles and ceramics on the floor, and on controlling his trembling hands, he was able to clear his mind and calm himself down little by little. After a few minutes, he regained control of his own body. He rubbed his eyes to finally remove the annoying eye boogers and carefully raised himself up. He went towards the mirror and, once in front of it, gave himself a new look.

He couldn't lie, it was still hard for him to look at his hair and find that color so similar to Lynn's or Luna's. It was weird, seeing his reflection and feeling that someone else was looking back at him from the crystal. Ever so carefully, he raised a hand to touch his always-rebellious cowlick, examining it absently.

It was weird, yes, but this was the hair he was supposed to had seen in his reflection all this time. His white hair had made him special, but he didn't want to be unique and different. Right then, he would have given it all just to be normal. To only have to worry about what any regular child should have as their priorities.

He opened the tap and poured cold water over his face before his mind could wander back into those thoughts he was trying to avoid. He washed his face, grabbing a towel from the wall to dry himself and look back at the mirror. This time, his reflection showed him an image that he could identify with and within which he could recognize himself.

He saw a beautiful mask of stony, polished marble, a simile skin that resembled an eleven-year-old boy, but whose pallor and exaggerated stoicity betrayed its function. With its decayed and opaque eyes like craters on the surface, it was possible to see under the elaborate mask the first signs of a frightened and confused child, of someone escaping, stumbling through a race that it was known to be lost beforehand.

He could deal with seeing himself that way, but he wasn't willing to let his family, especially his sisters, see him like that too. No, he wouldn't allow that their last memories of him were tinted by the memory of a scared, confused child. He wanted… No, he _needed_ to show them something else. And he knew how to do so, for Lincoln Loud always had a plan for everything.

Deciding that there was no use in showering just yet —everyone in the house was sleeping and he didn't want to wake them up with the sound of water—, he left the bathroom and began walking towards his room so he could dress up and start the day with the right foot. He began organizing his morning in his mind, trying to make use of every minute so he would have a filled agenda to keep him always busy, because as long as he was busy, it would be hard for him to stop and think like he had just done a few minutes ago on his bed.

And as long as he didn't think, he was alright.

His presumption that everyone in the house was asleep was proven wrong when a few whispers escaped through the cracks in the door of Lisa's room. He stopped in front of it. He lifted his wrist, and Adrien's watch indicated that it was six and thirteen in the morning. Whether she had gotten up very early or had not yet gone to sleep, she had lost valuable sleep that a four-year-old girl shouldn't do without.

Lincoln stopped by the door and didn't need to think too hard to know that he needed to go inside and talk to her. He had been looking for an excuse to talk with Lisa. His little sister barely left her room, and Lincoln could only share time with her during the daily morning and night check-ups, when he drank her "flue antidote". And even those moments had become more insipid during the last days. At first, she not only took blood and saliva samples, she would also ask him questions about how he felt, his state of health, his sleep cycles… Lately, however, his visits weren't any different than just a routine medical check-up. And he hated everything that reminded him of a hospital.

As he breathed in and psyched himself up to get inside her room, he sharpened his ear to listen to what his sister was whispering, and he was surprised to hear a much older voice.

" _...definitive under any concept, we can only theorize about the possible results. I need more time, more tes_ _—_ "

" _There is no time!_ " Lisa intervened, her voice struggling to keep itself down. " _I need answers today!_ "

" _Doctor Loud, I understand your predicament, but it would be irresponsible from our part to administrate experimental serums without the necessary regulations. My reputation could be stained, the Board could take away my license, the consequences are too big to_ _—_ "

" _Your reputation is my doing, Cameron!_ " Lisa exploded, interrupting once again whoever she was talking to. " _It_ _was_ _my conjectures and calculations that resolved your investigation! How do you think the scientific community would react if I published my studies and our conversations? You've put your worries in the wrong place if it is the Board that you fear and not me!_ "

Lincoln, suddenly anxious, placed a hand over the doorknob, hoping to silently turn it and sneak into his youngest sisters' room. The moment his fingers touched the cold metal, a red light flashed next to the lock, and a digital sound bleeped inside the room.

The boy cursed to himself when Lisa suddenly stopped talking. With his cover blown up, he tried to open the door, but it was locked.

" _Our conference will have to end here, Doctor Cameron,_ " she said, her voice much more controlled this time. " _You have an hour to send me the formula._ "

" _I beg you to reconsider your_ _—_ "

" _An hour, Doctor_."

A brief pause preceded a defeated sigh.

" _Very well. I may question your methods, doctor, but my heart is in your cause. I'll send you my advances immediately. Good luck with your_ _—_ "

" _An hour,_ " she repeated, and the sound of a screen turning off was the last thing Lincoln heard.

A few seconds later, the light on the lock turned green, and the door opened to reveal young Lisa Loud, dressed with her usual lab coat and safety googles, standing right in front of her brother with a neutral and unamused expression.

"Greetings, older brother. I observe that your sleep cycles have been interrupted early this morning. It might result appropriate to use this opportunity to realize the daily morning routine check-ups without the intervention of the rest of our family units."

"Lisa, have you slept at all?" Lincoln asked, kneeling down to be at her height.

"I slept enough," she answered, grabbing him by his wrist and dragging him inside her room.

The boy was forced to walk into the dark bedroom, trying his best for his feet to make as little sound as he could on the carpet to try to not wake Lily up. As Lisa dragged him towards the stool where she usually conducted her tests, he peeked at the cradle to make sure that his baby sister was sleeping, changed, warm, and with a clean diaper. After that one instance when he had to call her out for not paying enough attention to Lily, she had taken her older sister responsibilities more seriously, and there hadn't been any more instances of her being irresponsible with Lily.

Lisa escorted him to her desk and made him sit down. She turned on a table lamp that illuminated that area of the room and opened some drawers, extracting the materials she used during the daily checks on her brother.

"Lisa, tell me truth. How much did you sleep tonight?" He inquired.

"As I've said, I rested enough so my body can continue operating functionally with the help of specialized vitamin supplements."

"And what does that mean?"

"It means that your worries are lacking a strong foundation to sustain themselves on, brother," she answered, plugging in some wires to a machine which function Lincoln didn't know. "My state of health isn't relevant in this scenario, but even adhering to the theory that it was, your consciousness can rest assured knowing that my habits will not cause permanent consequences in my biology. Now, remove your upper sleep garment to start the tests."

It didn't go unnoticed to him the extreme formality with which Lisa was talking. Yes, she usually used complicated words, but right now she looked even more detached than usual. Knowing the procedure, Lincoln unbuttoned his orange pajama and let it slip to the ground, frowning as he did so.

"Permanent? So you're…? AAAH! Cold!" He complained when his sister put a cold liquid on his chest to adhere the electrodes there. "So you _are_ being reckless about your health."

Lisa didn't answer. Once all the electrodes were in place, she went to her computer and pressed a bunch of different buttons. She also grabbed a helmet with several wires connected to it and put it on Lincoln's head. Realizing that his sister was obstinate in her decision to not talk with him, he decided to leave all subtlety aside.

"Lisa, listen, I… I appreciate everything that you're doing for me. I really do. You know that, right?"

She couldn't overlook his tone, and she slowly turned around to look at him. Now that he had her attention, he stretched an arm and put a hand on one of her little shoulders.

"I don't allow myself to think about this because… because I don't want to get any hopes up. But I appreciate it a lot, and I can't thank you enough."

"N-No need to thank me," she said, her head tilting down like she was embarrassed to look at him, "I'm just doing what I should've done—"

"Even so, I don't want you to lose yourself into this investigation," he interrupted her. "I don't want you to feel like it's your responsibility to do this. And… and if you didn't happen to make it, I want you to know that it wouldn't be you—"

"I'll fix it!" She said to him, raising her voice and her head, glaring at him with a mix of fury and pain, as if she was offended by his words. "All my resources, time, and budget are focused on these tests! Failing is not an option!"

He fearfully looked back at the cradle, but Lily was still sleeping. Lowering down his voice in hopes that Lisa would notice it and whisper along, he went for a comeback

"Even the best can fail once in a while."

"Not like this! Not when my brother's at stake," she said, clenching her fist. "I can not allow myself to fail, so I won't."

"I don't want this to consume you. Please, I just—"

"Lincoln," she interrupted him, with a sharp and determined tone that seemed to contradict her trembling knees, her fist still clenched and her eyes blinking to contain incipient tears. "Since you came back home from the hospital I've been busy with my investigation. I know that you and the others believe that I don't pay attention to what happens in this house, but my insight does not require my total concentration to be aware of my surroundings. Since you arrived, you have been fulfilling the wishes of all our sisters. You have put aside your own happiness and have neglected your emotional state to concentrate on your loved ones being happy rather than you. The fact that you, of all people, question my methods is nothing but an act of hypocrisy."

He opened and closed his mouth, surprised and a little hurt by those words. A part of his conscience was telling him that, maybe, Lisa had something going for her argument. He definitely put the happiness and well-being of his loved ones before his own, but there was no way he could allow himself to lose that discussion.

"It's not the same," he replied, his sympathetic and reconciliatory tone now transformed into a much more cautious and calculated one. "You're only four-years-old, you can't carry the—"

"My biological age is irrelevant because I'm the only person on the planet who can save you," she said, taking a step down from her stool and facing her older brother. "Perhaps you're right, and I shouldn't carry the responsibility, but my only alternatives are to either sit idly by, overcome by the situation, or put my hands to work and cure you before it's too late."

During all this time, the sensors have been gathering information about Lincoln's body, and the machine they were all connected to made a high-pitched sound as a blue light began to twinkle. Lisa immediately turned to it.

"It doesn't require a genius to see that there's truly just one alternative," she finished, taking the electrodes off his body.

Lincoln put his pajama back. He wanted to reply, to answer back with such logic and good arguments that he could make Lisa reconsider her views and realize what he saw as a clear truth: she couldn't feel guilty about Lincoln's final fate. As much as he hoped against all odds that the little scientist may save him, he didn't want her to feel like it was up to her to save him, or that whatever happened to him would be exclusively her fault.

To win a debate against Lisa Loud, however, was a herculean task to which Lincoln had no confidence in himself at all. Maybe if his mood wasn't so down, if he didn't feel like he was on the edge of falling from a cliff, of losing himself in a lowering spiral of anguish and deception, then maybe he would have tried to argue against his sister's cold and impersonal logic.

But that was simply not the case.

When he finished with the last button of his shirt, he didn't stand up or say anything. He stayed right where he was, looking at his barefoot over the warm carpet of his little sisters' room while Lisa was checking her notes and test results. He didn't have a chance to think of a proper strategy to talk with his sister, since only just a few seconds after the machine announced that the tests were completed, she leaned over a short case where she had a small collection of testing tubes filled with that blueish liquid she'd been prompting Lincoln to drink for almost a week.

"I assume you're already familiar with the procedure," she sternly said, grabbing a test tube and handing it over to Lincoln.

At this point he was more than accustomed to the strange, bubbling, smoky liquid that his sister made him drink twice a day. He remembered his impression the first day, when he had to try the strange brew for the first time.

And he also remembered the lies.

"Am I still sick with the flu?" He asked, examining the test tube he had just taken in his hand, moving his fingers so that the liquid slowly rotated and stirred in the small container.

"The preliminary results of the tests indicate that the virus in question is still in an incubation state within your organism," she answered immediately. "It is advisable to take preventive measures and continue drinking the antidote to avoid any possible alteration of your delicate state of health."

"The antidote," he repeated, pursing his lips as he stared intently at the liquid he was about to drink. "You didn't have it a few weeks ago when we all got sick. We used some water pistols with chicken soup. Did you discover this recently?"

The little scientist diverted her eyes from the analysis in order to cross her gaze with her brother's. Their eyes met for some endless seconds, without even blinking.

"Yes, Lincoln," she muttered, "clearly it's a new discovery."

"When did you say you found out I had the virus again?"

"As I told you the first day, I went to your room the night before and performed tests without your consent. The results came—"

Lincoln stood up and slurped every last drop of the supposed cure for his flu. The sudden movement served to silence Lisa, who continued, however, looking at her brother with narrowed, sharp eyes.

Having finished with his morning check-up and knowing that nothing he said could help Lisa at the moment, he decided to leave the room and try to focus on what he could do, on all the things he had planned for his morning and that would help him clear his mind and, hopefully, find some peace.

Lisa didn't try to stop him, to interrupt him or finish what she had been saying before. As soon as he started to walk towards the door, the little girl once again focused all her attention in the computers and all the papers she was working with. Lincoln gently opened the door, trying to not make a sound that would wake up Lily. Just before leaving, his hand leaned against the door frame. He sighed.

Maybe only on a whim, but he wanted to leave with the last word.

"That night I didn't sleep in my bed," he said without turning around. "I slept with Luan on the couch. Dad took me back to my room after six in the morning."

He waited several seconds, but didn't hear any response. He held his breath, hoping that Lisa would suffer from an honesty attack and would tell him the truth, but he didn't want to pressure her. After all, he understood that she was also going through difficult times and that none of it was easy for her either.

"I don't know what I'm drinking, but… Whatever it is, it helps me sleep at night," he confessed with a smile. "At first the nightmares wouldn't let me rest. Now, almost every day I can sleep late. I don't know what it is, but… I guess… maybe it's working."

And just like that, he closed the door behind him.

Once in the hallway, he finally let out the air he had trapped inside his lungs. His hands went up to massage his temples. He couldn't let a bad start of the morning ruin his entire day, with all the possibilities that were presented to him to do everything he had planned.

He entered his room silent as a ninja. In his absence, Lynn and Lucy had instinctively sought comfort among themselves, having narrowed the distance between them just enough for the older girl's arms to surround the little girl. That little protective and affectionate gesture was a small candle lit in the darkness inside which Lincoln was trapped. A sign of warmth, of love, of fraternity in times where everything was perceived as cold and lacking in hope.

He took advantage of his visit to cross out one more day of his calendar. Goodbye, Tuesday. It was already Wednesday. Ten days since that fateful Sunday when everything had changed, but also when everything should have ended for him. Each one of the crossed out days had been a second chance, and those that remained to be marked were nothing more than blank sheets so that he could write his new story, the one that everyone would remember him for.

Well, the man with a plan wasn't going to miss his opportunities. Being a little self-conscious and hoping that his sisters wouldn't wake up, he changed right here in his room before leaving, going down the stairs and entering the ground floor of his house. It was dawning, and some natural light filtered through the closed curtains of the living room. He walked in the semidarkness of the dining room and went straight into the kitchen, where he finally turned on the light.

He approached the fridge and checked everything he had available to work with.

* * *

The first to wake up were his parents, who were led by several sensory signals towards the kitchen. The lights that escaped into the dining room, the sound of dishes being placed on the countertop, and most importantly, the pleasant and sweet scent of a well-prepared breakfast.

They arrived just in time to see Lincoln adding a thick layer of syrup and butter on a plate with about a dozen waffles.

"Good morning," he greeted them as soon as he saw them, with a big, warm smile on his face.

"Lincoln… what are you doing so early?" His father asked, approaching along with his wife towards his son as she locked him in a strong hug.

"I woke up, and… well, I decided to make breakfast for everyone," he answered calmly as his mother caressed his hair.

His parents took a look at everything Lincoln had prepared. A variety of eggs —the style that each member of their family liked the most—, the mountain of waffles with syrup and butter, two dozen strips of bacon, and a basket of French toasts.

He was aware that he had occupied the ingredients for at least two breakfasts, but for once in his life, he decided he could get away with setting side the limited budget of his family. It was, after all, for a good cause.

He walked away from his mother and went to the counter, where he quickly hurried to take two plates, serve their portions, fill two cups of hot espresso and reach for them.

"Here you go. I don't want to brag, but I think you'll find them delicious," he said with exaggerated confidence and presumptuousness.

Lynn Sr laughed softly and accepted his breakfast, while Rita took it without saying anything and hurried out of the room. Lincoln's smile faded as his eyes lost what little brightness they had left. His father drank a couple of sips from his cup and let out a loud sigh before placing a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Thank you, kiddo. You're amazing."

Faced with that compliment, he couldn't help but smile again.

"Let me know if you need any more help with breakfast. And please, don't forget to make something for you too."

"Don't worry," he told him.

Lynn Sr smiled and tugged him closer to give him a paternal kiss on the forehead.

"I love you."

"I love you too, dad."

His father took his plate and went to his room, to have breakfast and to accompany his wife, who clearly needed him.

A few minutes later, Lincoln heard the first sign of activity in the form of the sound of footsteps reverberating in the wooden mezzanine, preceding the soft taps on the doors and Lori's voice, awakening the rest of her sisters. He hastened the preparation of the last details of the great breakfast, getting ready to wear his best and most radiant smiles.

He soon heard the sound of footsteps descending at full speed on the stairs, and seconds later, Lori, still in her nightclothes, came almost trotting into the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway as soon as she saw Lincoln, who took a deep breath and gave her the first of his smiles.

"Good morning!" He told her, showing off his teeth.

The slightly worried face of his older sister suddenly found relief, and she let out a sigh big enough to fill a balloon. After closing her eyes for a few seconds, a warm yet moderated smile —absolutely different from the big ear-to-ear smile Lincoln was wearing— spread on her face, and she paced towards her little brother. He left aside his cooking glove and the plate he had in his hand to receive and return the hug she gave him. He pressed his face against his sister's belly, losing himself in the tender, slow caresses she was giving to his back and hair. His exaggerated smile became smaller and more honest the moment she tenderly kissed his forehead.

"Good morning," she said back, separating from him but using her hands to unnecessarily fix the collar of his orange polo shirt. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I woke up a while back," he answered, avoiding to get into details, "and since I was already awake, I decided to surprise you all with a special breakfast."

He went to the counter and took one of the plates and a cup of hot espresso, handing them to his sister.

"Here you go. To help you start the day."

Lori, her little smile always beaming at him like a radiant sun, ducked to meet his eyes and ruffled his hair.

"It looks great. I can't wait to try them," she complimented.

Lincoln noticed, despite the serenity of her words, new flickering gleams in her eyes.

"I'll go wake Lynn and Lucy up; I didn't get to do it. Thanks for being there for them, they definitely needed that," she announced, standing straight and grabbing her breakfast from his hands. "I'll cook your breakfast tomorrow, Linky."

"You don't have to."

"I'll do it anyway. You deserve it."

He made no effort to argue. Lincoln went back to work on the final details of the breakfast and, as he did so, the rest of his sisters started to come down to the kitchen, with reactions and exchanges similar to the one he had just experienced with Lori. Luan was the first one to approach him, and he almost poured all the hot cappuccino over them when she gave him a big hug that took him by surprise. Leni was the next, and Lincoln had to tub his cheek for five minutes to get rid of the macchiato-with-caramel-flavored double-kiss she gave him on his cheek as a thank you for preparing her said drink. The twins didn't take too long to come down as well, and he was cautious enough to wait until they ran and jumped into his arms before giving them the plates with their breakfast and glasses of orange juice. Luna wasn't nearly as effusive as the rest, but unlike her sisters, she decided to take the Americano he offered her and stay in the kitchen, sitting on the countertop so she could keep talking with Lincoln. He, of course, didn't object and enjoyed the pleasant and relaxed talk his sister offered him.

The last to arrive were his roommates for the night, Lynn and Lucy. Lynn came into the kitchen yawning and rubbing her eyes, with Lucy stuck to her side. Lincoln and Luna were quick to notice that the little goth was following her older sister as close as possible, whom didn't seem to mind walking with Lucy grabbing her hand, and instead was trying her best to make sure that her long, loose hair wouldn't go over her shoulders or face.

Both of them approached Lincoln, and Lucy barely broke her grasp on Lynn's hand to give him a brief hug before returning to shelter herself behind her sister. The young athlete, still groggy, threw a soft blow to his shoulder that he barely felt.

"You snuck up on me," she accused him with a smile.

"It wasn't easy; snuggling with you is like sleeping with a straitjacket," he said, getting a glass of juice for Lucy and a mocaccino for Lynn, just like she loved drinking every morning.

Luna chuckled, possibly imagining the tough thirteen-years-old secretly being the type of girl that likes to cuddle. Lynn, meanwhile, limited herself to glare at her for several seconds.

"Here you go, guys," Lincoln offered them, giving them their breakfasts. "It's the most important meal of the day, and today's going to be a great day."

"Why?" Asked Lucy.

"Because we have time, initiative, and a whole world filled with amazing opportunities for us to take," he explained. "Every day is a chance to seize the moment and make good use of the chances we're giving."

"If the TV's right, we'll be getting a cloudy day with lots of chances of storm," Lynn pointed out, flicking a hand towards the living room as she drank the first sip of mocaccino. "Oh, wow! This is pretty good!"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," she added, waving her head to take a few locks of her hair out of her shoulders.

"So, dude, what happened to your ponytail?" Luna asked, her eyes studying her hair even as she drank her Americano.

Lincoln could actually sense Lynn getting tense. He detected her clenched jaw, he saw her cup shaking, and her pupils were narrowed and fixed on Luna.

"I decided to try something new," she replied, sneaking a look at Lincoln from the corner of her eyes, still giving a defiant glare at the rocker. "Anything to say?"

"Actually, yes," Luna said, letting her cup aside and jumping off the countertop.

She walked until she was just one tile away from Lynn, surveying her with a curious grin that was impossible to interpret. Her younger sister was frowning at her, her lips pursed and her chest puffed, trying to look bigger than she truly was to compensate the height difference between them.

Just when Lincoln was starting to considerate intervening to stop a female confrontation at the first hours of the morning, the strange grin Luna was wearing, halfway between teasing and funny, turned into a genuine one.

"You're rocking this look, LJ," she said with her raspy voice, lifting a hand to stroke a lock of her sister's hair. "It makes you look even prettier than usual."

Lincoln had attended to dozens of Lynn's karate tournaments, but he had seldom seen a kick stunning her as much as Luna's words did right then. Her puffed chest lost all the air it was containing, her clenched fists relaxed so much he almost dropped her cup of coffee, and she began mumbling words of appreciation that couldn't find enough coherence to count as proper sentences until she finally raised the cup to her mouth to take a big sip and hide her blushing cheeks. Lincoln smiled and gave Luna a thankful look, which was rewarded with a wink of her eye.

With the whole family now awake and with their breakfast served, Lincoln took his own plate and, accompanied by his three sisters, he went to the dining room, where the rest of his sisters sans Lisa were silently eating at the big table.

He sat at his favorite place, the head seat closer to the kitchen that made him feel more adult, and after a long while being awake without eating anything, he satiated his hunger with a big mouthful of his waffles. As he chewed in silence, congratulating himself for his impressive culinary skills, he scanned the rest of the table with a furtive glance. They were all eating, but half of them were looking at their plates with absent eyes, and the other half was trying to pretend that he hadn't caught them staring at him when they thought he was distracted. None of them was talking, though, and that bothered him.

All responsibilities fell on him. He took advantage of waking up so early to prepare them a huge, delicious breakfast, he made sure to cook their favorite dishes, make the eggs the way everyone liked them the most, the coffee types they all preferred, he welcomed them all with beaming smiles, a hug, pretty words to being the day… All served in a silver plate for them, and yet he was also supposed to be the one that had the guts to start a conversation.

He had to do everything. Make sure that they were happy, spend time with them, chasing after every single one to make their days better, to share time, to chat, to laugh, to cry. In his family, it was impossible to delegate any responsibilities to anyone else. Everything needed to be done by him.

He opened his mouth to ask what they thought about their meals, but he had to swallow up his complains and critiques when Lola sipped one last slurp of juice and cleared her throat, catching everyone's attention. The little princess, still wearing her comfy, pink nightgown, had her eyes closed and her brow pursed. Both of her hands were on the table, and she sat with a straight back and her chin slightly up.

No one said anything, waiting for her to make a statement.

"Alright, everyone, breakfast is delicious, but we can't keep ignoring the elephant in the room."

All eyes fell on Lincoln, who breathed in, getting himself ready to whatever Lola was about to say. The only one that didn't turn to look at him was Leni, who ducked under the table in the search for the proverbial elephant.

After a dramatic pause, Lola opened her eyes and tilted her head to look at the sister sitting in front of her. She jumped to stand on her chair and leaned her whole body over the table, like she was trying to crawl to the other side, and her whole face beamed with excitement. Her eyes were sparkling and her smile showed her gleaming, incomplete teeth.

"Lynn's trying a new look!" She sing-sang before letting out an excited shriek.

Lincoln blew all the air he held up inside, but no one noticed his relief, since the collective attention was now placed upon the girl with the scarlet face that was sliding down her chair, trying her best to just disappear from this world. Certainly, all girls had noticed that Lynn wasn't wearing her hair in a ponytail as she usually did thanks to that girly sixth sense that helped them detect those details. Maybe they didn't thought it was worth a comment, maybe they didn't want to embarrass Lynn, maybe they were too distracted or sad to really say anything, but now that Lola had brought up the issue, they wouldn't let it pass.

Lincoln witnessed not without a little pity for her how Lynn was suddenly bombarded with dozens of simultaneous questions. From Leni and Lola asking when could they give her a makeover, going through Lori and Luan questioning whether there was a certain boy she was trying new things for, ending up with Lana, who was asking with sad eyes if Lynn was now going to turn girly and if this meant she wouldn't play in the mud with her anymore.

"Never!" Lynn roared, hitting the table with her fist in such a sudden movement that a lock of her now-loose hair fell over her face, forcing her to blow a little air to move it away. "I'm just trying some new options, but let me be clear, Lynn Loud Jr will never stop being the toughest, most athletic, greatest athlete in Royal Woods and the whole world!"

"She told me she wants to learn how to polish her nails," Lincoln added, trying to stop himself from giggling out loud.

All his sisters erupted in sharp, stinging shrieks, standing up and effectively surrounding Lynn, who gave one last angry, betrayed look at her little brother before the chaotic mass of girls caught her. Lincoln couldn't help it, he began to laugh. As he did so, he noticed not only how Lucy was comforting Lana, but also how Lori whispered something into Luan's ear, who nodded and whispered something in return. After a few seconds, long enough to try to pretend that this wasn't related to that secretive conversation, the comedian approached her brother with a smile.

Lincoln stopped laughing and drank some juice to get himself together, giving his older sister a curious look as soon as she sat on the chair Luna had being using up until just a few minutes ago.

"What's up?" He asked, cutting a new bit of waffles.

"Are you going to be doing anything after this? I was thinking that maybe after breakfast we could try to continue with the project. What do you say?"

Oh, yes, his project. The best kept secret in the Loud house. They had advanced a lot in almost a full week, doing all the initial goals Lincoln had set in mind when he first came up with the whole idea. As long as he could keep working on it, however, he would do so, because even though he had already finished the most important and original part of his idea, everything that he could add would be a nice bonus, and he would often find himself thinking of new material he could add to what would, maybe, become his last gift ever for his sisters.

Leaving a good, strong, solid legacy in this world was something extremely important to him. His little monuments for which he would be remembered. He was looking forward to continue his project, but instead of answering right away, his eyes darted towards the rest of his sisters. They were all around Lynn, like a group of piranhas circling around their prey, their focus aimed not at pretending they were ok around Lincoln, but in mundane and inconsequential conversations about what type of mascara would best match Lynn's hazel eyes, or if French nails was the best way to introduce her to the world of nail-painting or not. They weren't pretending, they were legitimately excited, happy, distracted.

"Of course, Lu," he accepted, earning a smile and her hand cupping his cheek by using the affectionate nickname his sister liked so much, "but let me finish my meal first."

It was at that precise moment that Lynn agreed to spend an afternoon with Lola so they could both come to a compromise regarding her new look, and the loud cheers they all let out must had been detected at the International Space Station.

"I haven't enjoyed one so much in a long time," he finished with a smile on his face.

* * *

An hour later, Lincoln was standing in the middle of Luan's empty room. He had a bottle of water in his hand, from which he slurped desperate gulps to humidify his dry, sore throat. Talking for a long time would tire anyone, and considering how every word leaving his mouth had a giant emotional weight to them, it was no surprise that he felt his throat closing. He drank a little more water to satiate his thirst and to calm himself down, but even then he waiting a few minutes to make sure that his face was showing no signs of the intense emotions that were flooding his insides before going towards the door and knock.

Once, pause, twice, pause, once.

Someone was sitting on the hall, with their backs resting against the door, feeling the vibrations of his knocking going through the wood. Lincoln heard her standing up and carefully opening the entrance to the room. Luan's face peeked inside, her worried eyes and shy smile fixing themselves on the boy.

"Are you done?" She asked in a low voice, taking her left earphone off. It sounded like she was listening to a podcast, or maybe it was the radio.

"Enough for today," he replied.

Luan walked inside, found herself doubting for a second, gave him a quick hug he didn't have time to return, and then she turned away to remove all the pieces of rubber and newspaper that had been placed on the edge of the door to try to acoustically isolate that critical point. The thin walls of that room were the only ones in the house that had thick layers of insulation inside. It was a cheap insulation, like everything in the house, and Luna still managed to make every everyone listen to her music, but it proved to be more than enough so that Lincoln's long words didn't reach anyone's ears but his own.

They would all listen to it eventually, but not yet.

Luan, having finished removing everything, sheepishly turned towards her brother.

"So, you wrapped up for today."

"Yeah, I think. I don't know, I might add something later, but I think I'm good for the day. Where are the girls?" He asked.

His question had been absolutely innocent. He was simply curious to know if maybe one of them had tried to barge in, or if they were wondering why Luan was sitting outside her room with her back against the door and her earphones on. There was no malicious intention behind it, and he couldn't even begin to imagine what could possibly be wrong about it. That's why he was surprised to see the way Luan tensed before answering.

"Almost all of them are in the living room doing stuff," she hurriedly said.

"I see. Did anyone bother you while I was here?"

"No, no. The twins wanted to play with you, but I told them you were busy. Lucy also tried to sneak in, and she was hard to convince to not do it. Thank God Lynn showed up to help me, and since Luna was going out with Sam, they decided to take Lucy with them to buy the t- I MEAN! T-They took her to the m-mall. T-To buy, uh, stuff. I don't know what."

He blinked a couple of times, stunned. Luan's face grew pink as her water flower, and she hurriedly turned around and walked towards her desk, pretending to be looking for something. Despite his usual insight and cunning to solve mysteries Ace Savvy style, Lincoln found himself completely lost. What was going on with Luan? Why did she look so nervous all of a sudden right after he asked her about their siblings? She looked nervous, anguished, scared…

"Luan, are you alright?"

She kept checking her desk drawers.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry," she apologized without looking at him. "I'm just… tired, I think. I didn't sleep well."

He crept closer, watching his steps as much as he watched his words.

"Have you…? Luan, you didn't stay up late watching videos of me again, have you?'"

She stopped inspecting the cheap card deck she used for her magic routine and let her hands drop empty to the sides of her body. Her head hang low, and even though she didn't reply, Lincoln had his answer.

"Look, I don't… I'm not mad," he clarified, extinguishing the distance between them to place a hand on his sister's back as the other one tried to weave its fingers with hers. "I'm just worried."

"You always are," she observed. "About me. About everyone."

"I am because I care about you. And listen, I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't watch them. We're all… we're all dealing with this in our own way, and if that's yours, who am I to change that?" He said. "I just don't want you to be like you were a week ago. Silent, not talking with anyone. Not sharing things with us. We're your friends, Lu, if you ever feel lonely, or bummed, or anything, just come to us. Any of us."

His sister turned around and they both look at each others eyes. His were filled with worry. Hers were soaked in sorrow. Luan raised her hands and gently placed them on his face, cupping his cheeks before leaning forward and kissing his forehead.

"It's so hard," she wept, almost choking with her own words. "All of this, it's just so hard. It hurts. And I know we're all the same. I don't to be a bother to anyone."

"You're not a—"

"I've always tried to deal with my problems alone. Maybe with Luna. But now she's just like I am, and unlike me, she can go with Chunk, David, Jason, Sam, any of her friends. I only have you guys, I just… I..."

She was adrift, her fortitude wrecked in a stormy sea of anguish, but whenever she needed it the most, Lincoln was always there to be her lifesaver, surrounding her in a warm embrace of restraint and affection. He leaned his head against his sister's chest and wrapped her in his loving embrace.

"We'll always be here for you," he assured her.

"I know, I'm sorry, I just… It's..."

She didn't find the strength to finish her sentence. She focused, instead, on her hands wandering over her brother's body, grabbing his hair, clinging to his neck, holding on to his back, his shoulders, holding him from everywhere she could in an attempt to feel him, to keep him from going away from her, fearing to be left even more alone. Lincoln could feel it in her desperate fingers, her panting breaths, in how she pressed her head against his, rubbing her cheek against his hair.

"And you're still going on with that crap," he reproached her, trying that the sternness of his voice wouldn't overlay the caring and worry that his words were clearly tinted with. "I thought we had made it clear that you're a wonderful girl and not an antisocial."

"You can say whatever you want, but the truth is I don't have any friends."

"You could, though," he said, backing away enough to look at her in the eyes.

Luna rolled her eyes, bit her lower lip and shook her head.

"It's as simple as just wishing it," she soft said. "I can't just get people to like me out of nowhere."

"No, but you could make an effort."

"You think I don't?"

She closed her eyes, made a grimace like if someone had thrown a banana pie that had been standing under the Sun for several days right at her face, and she moved away from Lincoln with a soft push. She moved until she was against the window, her fingers white with how hard she was holding on to the ledge.

"Don't you think I'd love to have friends? You think I'm happy being ignored by everyone, wishing every day that Luna won't be busy with he friends so I can have someone to sit with at lunch? I'd love to have friends, but I can't! Only the people in my clowning school want to spend time with me, and that's just as long as I have my clown wig on! No one wants to be my friend, I'm just an insufferable jokester!

She hit the ledge with both hands and turned back around, looking almost angrily at her brother. She opened her mouth to continue her outrage, but her words died in her mouth as soon as her eyes took a look at him. Lincoln was standing up in the middle of the room, his gaze fixed on her, with her body leaned slightly back, like he was afraid she would yell at him or something as he tried to come up with a way to calm her down.

She slowly closed her mouth and, with a defeated sigh, she walked towards her bed, where she let herself fall back facing up before covering her face with her hands.

"Look at me," she said, her voice escaping through her fingers, "whining and complaining. Like you didn't have enough things to worry about."

"Hey, I care more about—"

"Yeah, I know, you care more about us, I know, I got it," she interrupted him, her eyes filling to the brim with treachery tears. "That only makes it worse."

Lincoln massaged his temples before walking to his sister's bed. He sat close to her, although he couldn't help it to show her his back because of the position she was laying. Maybe it was for the best, because he needed a few seconds to get a grip and choose with words with criteria. He tried to think of a quick strategy to get out of that situation.

He thought about his hero, Ace Savvy. Not only he was the world's best detective and a vigilante feared for his dexterity and courage, he was also an intelligent man who always had a quick quip, comeback, or just the right words to get out of any predicament. The amount of fights he won with his fists were almost the same that he won with his wit.

If only he could be like Ace.

"I don't know why you're not popular," he finally admitted, his shoulders dropping and shaking his head. "I always thought of you as the most popular girl in school, the center of attention. I don't know why it isn't that way, and I'm sorry I'm just now finding out about it."

"No one knows," she said. "Luna's been suspecting for a while, but I always find a way to fool everyone. But even if you'd known about this, there's nothing you could do."

"Of course there is."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Working how you talk with people. Making sure you're not starting conversations with an electric shock. Looking for ways to make people understand that you're not just a jokester, that you're someone that brings happiness and joy to other people. A smile-bringer. I don't know, anything that I could've done to make everyone see just how awesome you are. Anything to make everyone look at you the way I do."

Luan suddenly sat up and threw her arms around him, pulling him into a hug almost with desperation. For a long while, little did she care about what the rest of the world may think of her, because everything that she cared about was currently cradled right in her arms.

* * *

The call came at ten twenty-seven in the morning.

Lincoln was sitting on the couch right next to his father, or better said, against him. He had his feet on the cushions, and the rest of his body was leaning against Lynn Sr's, who was more than willing to let his son use him as a pillow. His left arm was surrounding Lincoln's shoulders, and his eyes were taking turns going from the screen to his son's excited face.

"Are you sure he's not super resistant or something?" He asked with a smile as the TV showed an episode of his son's favorite superhero.

Lincoln frantically shook his head.

"Ace trained for decades with the best martial arts teachers in the whole world," he explained. "He's an example of hard work and discipline. He doesn't need superpowers to be a hero. That's why he's the best of all, because he demonstrates that to be a hero all you need is courage and the will to do what's right."

"And millions of dollars to finance your secret Fortress and all the gadgets he uses to fight crime," his dad pointed out.

Lincoln glared at him before they both broke into laughter and he once again rested his head against his father's chest, listening to the soft beating of his heart.

After spending the first part of his morning with Luan, and considering that Lucy, Luna, and Lynn weren't home, he had thought that maybe he could spend some time with the twins, since they had been looking for him. To his surprise, however, both of them had went out with their mother and Lily to buy some "extra groceries". It wasn't normal for the twins to go with mom to buy anything unless they could expect something in return, but he guessed that maybe Rita wanted to keep them distracted. Lori had also left the house, but no one could tell him where she'd went, only that she was meeting with Bobby. Only Leni, Luan, Lisa and his dad were in the house with him, and when he reached the living room, he saw the latter first.

They weren't spending too much time together, since his sisters seemed to be always capitalizing his attention. As soon as he saw his dad sitting alone in the couch, with his shoulders down, zapping through the channels without really paying attention to what he was seeing, he knew that he needed to spend the rest of his morning with him right away.

He walked to the couch, asked him if there was anything worth watching on TV, and as soon as Lynn Sr told him no, he asked for the remote and sat next to him. He didn't receive any complaint when he put the cartoons channel, where they were airing "Ace Savvy: Dark Deck" the animated series based around the best superhero ever. He would've tried to catch ARGGH!, but they didn't put that show in the morning. Ace wasn't a bad option, though, and Lincoln was more than happy to answer to all the questions his father asked the moment the episode started. He thought that by now everyone in the family knew about all the adventures of Ace Savvy, since he would always spend days recreating them along Clyde, both dressed in their colorful costumes, but it was so funny to go over them out loud all over again that he didn't care.

They had seen three episodes in a row when the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Lynn Sr said, trying to stand up, but Lincoln stopped him.

"No, wait, this is the best part," he told him, pointing a finger at the screen. "I've seen this episode four times, let me take the call."

His father agreed and Lincoln dashed to the phone. He'd seen it four times, but that episode was so cool that he wanted to watch it a fifth.

"Hello?" He said the moment the phone touched his ear.

" _Lincoln!_ "

The voice of Rusty Spokes received him at the other end of the line.

"Oh, hey Rusty," he greeted him, biting his lip while his fingers played with the cord of the phone.

Rusty was one of his best friends. After Clyde and Ronnie Anne, he was probably the one person he trusted the most and with whom he had the most fun. Every time the teacher decided to separate Clyde and Lincoln for their homework, he knew he could count on Rusty to hang out, work, and spend a good time between laughs and gossips. He wasn't as much of a comic book fan or a coin collector as Lincoln would like him to be, but he was a great friend and a very important person in his life.

Of course he should've expected a call form him any time soon. He had received a lot of messages from him and the rest of his friends and school mates ever since Monday, when the news about his condition had become public. He should've answered his messages. He should've done it, since he really appreciated his friendship with Rusty, but he had asked Clyde to tell everyone he knew that for the time being he only wanted to spend time with the people he loved the most —his family, primarily, but he also included Clyde and Ronnie Anne in that category.

He hadn't answered him because, first, he had too many messages from a lot of people to start answering them all, but also because a part of him didn't want t reply to those messages because he knew that talking with his friends would accomplish nothing but adding a new issue to his seemingly neverending list of problems.

" _Hey, buddy,_ " Rusty greeted, his voice suddenly less excited. " _Eehh… How are y_ _—?_ _Ouch! Liam, what the heck?_ "

" _You can't ask him that, you corn brain!_ " He could hear in the background with a southern accent.

" _Yeah, Rusty, way to go,_ " added Zach in a sarcastic manner.

" _Ugh, just let me do the talking, alright?_ " Snapped a new voice, much more sharp than the others. Lincoln heard the sound of the phone going from one hand to another, a thud, someone letting out a big "Ouch!" and finally the same voice from just a few seconds ago, this time much sweeter and caring. " _Hey Lincoln, it's me, Jordan._ "

Girl Jordan could also be considered a good friend of Lincoln. She wasn't part of his most intimate circle of friendship, but she was one of the few classmates that didn't seem to run away from his presence. She had been the first one of the girls to talk with him after the Girl Guru fiasco, and also the first one to tell him that what he'd done with his embarrassing video had been kind of cute in a way. She had even invited him and the rest of his friends to her pool party, and after the awkward way that had ended for them, she had invited them once again to another occasion with the condition that they would bring swimming trunks this time.

"Hey Jordan. How's it going?" He greeted her, trying to sound at ease, like this was an ordinary conversation, nothing unusual about it.

He turned to see the couch, and he looked right into his father's gaze. Lynn Sr gave him a slight nod of his head, but Lincoln didn't know what that meant.

" _Uh, alright, I guess… Listen, I'm really sorry to bother you. Clyde told us that… well, that we should try to not bother you._ "

"No, no, it's alright. You're not a bother," he rushed to say. "You guys are my friends."

The other end of the line stayed in silence for a while, until she cleared her throat.

" _So, anyway, we just wanted to let you know that we're all at Rusty's house, and we thought that maybe… well, you know… If you're not busy with something else..._ "

She left the rest of the sentence in the air, but Lincoln understood what she meant. His free hand released the phone cord in fear of ending up breaking it if he kept twisting it for too long, and his fingers instead found themselves drumming the surface of the nightstand.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Lincoln asked, trying to ear some time as he gave his father a new look.

"We should, but… Well… We thought that maybe it'd be easier to see you in the morning. Look, if you're busy or if you don't want to see us we understand, don't worry about us. We just wanted to talk to you and tell you that _—"_

"Excuse me for a second," he said, interrupting her, leaving the phone aside.

He went to the sofa at a distrustful pace. Lynn Sr followed him with the strange combination of sad eyes and a reassuring smile.

"Hey, dad?" He sheepishly called him. "It's the guys. They're all at Rusty's house and they want me to go there with them."

"Sure. You want me to give you a ride there?"

"No, I… It's just… We're watching Ace," he said, dropping his head. "We're having a good time."

His father sighed and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Son, they're also important people to you. They're your friends. Go play with them."

"What about _—_?"

"Tell you what: I'll stay here watching the rest of the episodes that the network's airing and I'll try to remember them all," he suggested with a smile. "After dinner, we both can play an Ace Savvy trivia to see who knows more about these episodes. How about that?"

It wasn't the ideal situation for Lincoln, having to choose between his friends and staying with his dad, but the prospect of maybe keep talking about Ace Savvy later that evening was enough to make him smile.

"Do you promise me?"

Lynn Sr straightened his back and put a hand over his chest.

"Queen Guard's word," he said with best British accent. "Let me know when you want to go, but the sooner the better. They say there's a storm coming up later today."

Lincoln jumped into his dad's arms, and with the promise that they would continue sharing time together during the evening, he trotted back to the phone with some new found motivation.

"Jordan?"

" _I'm here_ ," said the girl's worried voice.

"You said you were all in Rusty's house, right?"

" _Yes, yes, we're here_ ," she confirmed, a lot more enthusiastic. She must have made some kind of gesture, because he soon heard the rest of his friends celebrating.

"Alright, my dad's taking me there when I tell him. We just need to wait for the van's motor to start up."

" _Oh, don't worry, we told Clyde to pick you up by your house a while back, he should be getting there any minute now._ "

With a divine coordination, soon he heard the sound of an SUV's horn, calling him from the street. Lincoln knew that they weren't in a videochat, but he still gave the phone an accusing glare before rolling his eyes.

" _Sorry, but we weren't really going to take a no for an answer_ ," Jordan apologized, probably guessing Lincoln's reaction.

* * *

Clyde's dads drove their son and Lincoln to Rusty's house at the other side of town. That wasn't saying much, since Royal Woods wasn't exactly a metropolis, but the way there was long enough for Lincoln and Clyde to talk about their favorite moments in the episodes he had just finished watching with his father. They both loved the night vigilante, and even though they had exchanged theories and explanations about those episodes dozens of times, they had no problem doing it all over again.

When they were just a few blocks away, Clyde said he had something important to confess.

"I'm not supposed to tell you anything because we wouldn't know how you'd react, but I'd rather let you know beforehand and not let it be a surprise," he deadpanned. "Cristina asked us to come, and we said yes."

Suddenly, all the happiness that talking about superheroes brought to him vanished from his face like the small flame of a candle blown by the birthday boy and his whole family.

"Cristina, huh?" He said, turning his head to look through the window all the houses and trees they were passing by.

"She's really close to Jordan, their brothers go to swimming classes together," he hurriedly explained, "and the truth is she's taking this whole thing pretty rough. Ever since she found out about your thing through her uncle she barely talks in class. It's been two days in a row that she goes to school without her homework done. And… well, Jordan must have told her that we were thinking of hanging out with you because she sent me a message this morning asking me to let her come. I know your situation with her is complicated but _—_ "

" _Complicated_ is putting it lightly."

His relationship with her was much more than just complicated. Not too long ago it had been pretty simple: she was the girl Lincoln used to like, but she wasn't even remotely interested in having anything to do with him. He had fantasized about approaching her, talk to her, asking her out, stealing a kiss from her, be happy ever after. She had been, in all honesty, the first girl he ever fell in love with. Of course, he ruined all of the chances he may have had with her by trying to defend his sister's reputations, uploading to the internet a video of him so ridiculous and embarrassing that no one in school seemed to remember what stupid things he'd filmed his sisters doing. Cristina had switched some classes, she had sent some of her friends to tell him that she didn't want him to talk with her ever again, and she had been avoiding him ever since.

Pretty simple; an unrequited love. However, just a few days ago she had suddenly confessed that she had actually started to develop some feelings for him in the same way he used to have for her. Just when Lincoln had finally found in Ronnie Anne the girl that had stolen more from him than his lunch money, his old crush came back to haunt him.

"Maybe," conceded Clyde, "but really all she wants to do is to see you. And I thought you wouldn't really mind since you'll be with us anyway. If you feel uncomfortable I can sit with her and keep her distracted so she doesn't bother you."

"It's not that she bothers me," Lincoln said, looking but at his friend like he was saying nonsense. "It's just… weird, you know? A couple of months ago I would've given everything to have her talk with me, and now _—"_

He gasped and slapped his forehead.

"Clyde, I have a girlfriend!" He said, grabbing the young McBride by his shoulders and shaking him in all directions. "Ronnie Anne is going to kill me if she catches me even looking at Cristina!"

He could imagine his brand new girlfriend giving him the beating of his life if he made the fatal mistake of smiling at the girl he used to like.

"Ronnie Anne isn't coming," Clyde said, his ideas still setting in his brain after the shaking his friend gave him.

"What? You didn't invite her?"

"We did, but she said she needed to go with her brother somewhere."

"But Bobby's with Lori, why would they—?"

"We're here," Harold announced, stopping the car.

The answer to his question would have to wait, since Rusty's cozy house was now in front of them. Lincoln barely heard the farewells and last-minute-instructions that the McBrides gave them. He was busier looking at the window that visually connected the living room with the outside, where he could see Liam peeking at him between the curtains and making hand gestures for everyone else to join him. The last time he had seen his friends it had been last Thursday at noon, when he went to school to invite Ronnie Anne for lunch at the mall. He had seen them from afar, and he hadn't even walked towards them to say hi. And now he needed to face them all.

He was sitting right next to the door, so he had to get out of the car first. He stopped on the sidewalk and stared at the distance that separated him from the door to the house. If he had been able to tell the truth to his sisters, spending an afternoon with his friends shouldn't be a problem.

"Are you ready, buddy?"

He looked at his right. Clyde was standing aside him, his eyes fixed on him with decision and support. Even in such tough times, filled with sadness and pain, his best friend was standing in line for him, ready to follow him to the end of the world and beyond. Clyde would walk with him into Mordor should he ask him to. Someday he should thank Lynn for running away that Halloween, forcing him to chase after her in a sprint that ended with him crashing into Clyde. The dawn of an _—_ _unfortutunately..._ _—_ life long friendship.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Clyde gave him a smile, and both of them marched into the hostile lands of Rusty's home.

Before they could even ring the doorbell, the door was opened, and Rusty received them with an anxious look.

"H-Hey, Lincoln! Clyde," he saluted them, his eyes resting just for a second on Lincoln's chestnut hair before moving down tot he floor as one of his hands scratched his head. "Come on in."

Lincoln walked inside and, right away, he heard several gasps. He closed his eyes and forced a smile before opening back and turning towards the rest of his friends. Zach and Liam were at the front, exchanging quick looks between them, with their mouths wide open trying to get the words out of their throats. Girl Jordan was standing a little more to the side, both of her hands fidgeting with her long braid. She, just like Rusty, was also surveying Lincoln's new hair, but unlike her friend, she took some long seconds to realize she was staring before lowering his eyes and meeting his gaze. Ashamed, she turned her head in another direction before trying once again to look at him and give him a smile. Behind Jordan, as if she was trying to not be seen, Cristina was looking at him over her friend's shoulder, too scared or shy to properly greet him.

No one seemed to be interested in breaking the ice, so after a long, awkward silence, Lincoln cleared his throat and lifted up a hand, pointing his index finger at his hair.

"When I was born I had brown hair," he explained. "A year later or so the color drained from it. I just wanted to see how I would look today if it hadn't turned white."

He considered that it wasn't necessary to get into more details. His friends were all smart, they could make the connections on their own later on if they really stopped to think about it.

"I'm still the same guy. And I'm still here," he said, relaxing his shoulders and giving them a cheeky smile, "so get over the awkwardness and at least pretend that you're glad I'm here."

Like a bucket of cold water, his words shook his friends out of their trance. Liam and Zach came closer. There was a little awkward moment when they didn't know if they should hug him, give him a handshake or what, until he raised a hand and they, with shy smiles, hi-fived him. Jordan wasn't really worried about appearances or keeping things awkward, so she simply walked into him and gave him a big, strong hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. He accepted it and gave her back some comforting pats.

Finally, Lincoln turned to face Cristina. The redhead was still several steps away from him. Lincoln could see her fingers playing with the collar of her blouse, and her blushed face didn't know where to look at. Had it been any other girl, he would've walked towards her to give her a hug, since it was obvious that she desperately needed one.

"Hey," he said from the distance, however, barely acknowledging her with a nod of his head.

She replied back with some silent words, and Jordan walked with her to hold her hands. Lincoln turned to look at the rest of his friends, trying to ignore that little scene.

"So, what do you guys want to do? A Battle Royale? Some Dota?"

Liam and Zach turned their eyes to Rusty, whose face looked almost the same color of his hair.

"Eh, yeah, I guess… uh… Maybe… uh..."

And then, he elbowed Liam in the ribs.

"Ouch!" He complained. "What's yer problem, pal?"

" _Say something_ ," he said through gritted teeth, like that would keep Lincoln, three feet away from him, to listen.

Zach rolled his eyes and shoved him right into Liam. As both of his friends were complaining, the shortest of the bunch stepped forward, his fingers interlaced and his eyes fixed on his friend even though his head was handing low, with his chin almost touching his chest.

"What these two dummies are trying to say is that… we… all of us, and the rest of our class, we're sorry. We're deeply sorry."

"And we really wanted to thank you for coming here to day," added Jordan, still holding Cristina's hand. "We know you're… busy, and it means a lot to us that you still decided to come here."

"It's ok, guys," Lincoln soothed them, with an honest smile painted on his face, even though his eyes were struggling to contain emotions that he wasn't willing to let take control of him. "It also means a lot to me that you wanted to see me."

It wasn't in his plans to start their reunion with just another big monologue like the ones he had had with his sisters, but there were some things that he just couldn't keep for himself any longer.

"I've never had many friends. You all know I've done pretty stupid and embarrassing things, and that made a lot of people walk away from me." He stopped for a second to look right into Cristina's direction. "But you've always been there for me. You're all my friends. And you'll always be."

Clyde was the first one to step in and give him a hug, and after seeing that gesture, everyone else joined them. It wasn't common for him to find himself in the middle of such warm displays of affection outside of his house, and he allowed himself to enjoy the group hug. Everyone seemed to be in need of something like that to let out all their repressed emotions, because as soon as they broke the hug, he could see that even though their eyes still looked sad, their shoulders weren't as stiff as before, and they all looked a little more relaxed.

"You know, brown hair looks pretty cool on you," Rusty said. "You look totally handsome!"

"Everyone's handsome standing next to you," Zach quipped, making everyone laugh.

"What if we play something before we start fighting and hating each other?" Lincoln suggested, excited to being something that would distract his friends so they could all enjoy their time together without worries or fateful thoughts.

"Let's play Monopoly!" Rusty said before running towards his room, leaving everyone in the living room to exchange nervous looks between them.

If there was something that Monopoly was known for, it definitely was its legendary capacity to shatter friendships.

* * *

"Someone's spending a night in my hotel!" Girl Jordan sing-sang, pointing at the silvery penguin that had just stopped at a red square.

Everyone laughed and Clyde moved both of his hands to cover his face.

"Clyde, stop giving Jordan money, she's kicking our butts," Liam complained, emphasizing his words by pointing at the huge pile of properties their friend had.

"Why would he stay in your tiny house in New York when he can rest in my luxurious Kentucky Avenue hotel?" She contemptuously said as she counted the bills that Clyde had just provided her.

It was Lincoln's turn then to roll the dices.

"Defeat her, Lincoln, avenge my bankrupt, let my sacrifice not be in vain!" Rusty dramatically said, raising his fists to the air.

The aforementioned smiled slightly and threw his dices on the board.

"Eleven!" He celebrated, although his smile began fading away with every square he advanced until he finally fell right into prison. "Dang it."

"I have a _Get out of Jail_ card!" Zach said, looking for the little orange card among his properties.

Lincoln looked up to his friend and the card he was offering to exchange with him. He frowned.

"And what do you want for it?"

The redhead fixed his glasses and checked the board.

"Uh… What about… I don't know, ten dollars?"

"Ten dollars?" Lincoln repeated, his eyes not leaving Zach for a second. "You're dead last in the game and you want to offer me a _Get out of Jail_ card for just ten dollars?"

Everyone's attention was now put on Zach, who cleared his throat to break the awkward silence and lifted a hand over his chin, rubbing it for several seconds.

"Uh… how about twenty, then?"

Lincoln clenched his fist and teeth trying his best to not let everyone realize it. He breathed a couple of times before pulling off the biggest fake smile he could manage.

"I think I'll wait until I roll doubles," he told his friend.

"Are you sure? If you want I can lower the prize to—"

"Your turn," he interrupted him, grabbing the dices and handing them to Cristina.

The girl sitting right next to him rolled her dices, but Lincoln didn't care about how much she got, where she felt, or the subsequent negotiations. He was busy looking at his little side of the board. He was having a good game. Jordan was owning them all, but he was sitting comfortably at the second place, with some properties here and there, and even a Monopoly in the green squares. He was having a great game, but he wasn't happy at all.

This was the third time that one of his friends was offering a Get out of Jail card. The first time, Clyde had just given it to him for free, and he had admittedly accepted it with pleasure despite everyone else's complaints. Then, Cristina had also tried to give him one for free, but he insisted in buying it. She said she'd give it to him for twenty dollars, since at the time she was running ahead in the game and didn't really need anything. And now Zach, who needed money more than anyone else in the game, trying to give him a card for practically nothing.

Getting out of Jail cards weren't the only thing everyone was helping him with. More than once he had rolled out some bad numbers, and Rusty suddenly remembered a rule that said that if a dice landed outside the board he had to roll again, which helped him from falling in Jordan's hotel. Or Liam, acting like the banker, had accidentally given him more money a few times.

They were helping him in Monopoly. Monopoly! The last time they played it Zach had almost ran out of hair after fighting with Liam, and Rusty had injured his throat with how much swearing and screaming he made. It was an extremely competitive game that had the power and the capacity to topple friendships like a house of cards in a storm, and yet everyone seemed to be making an effort for him to win. They were trying to charge him as little as possible. They messed up in some very simple maths so he wouldn't be paying too much or to pay him extra. Liam had even once winked at him as he gave him an extra one hundred dollars bill.

They were all helping him for one simple reason: he was dying and they had pity on him. That was the only explanation. They wanted to make him feel good because he was a sick child, a kid condemned to die. They knew that he didn't have much time left so they tried their best to make him have some fun, winning a stupid boardgame, like that could actually make him feel better. Like if the happiness of being crown winner would last him more than five minutes. Like if that would make him forget that he would be dying before realizing it either way.

He didn't want that. He didn't need everyone to feel pity for him, to mourn him in life. He wanted them to make him feel alive, to treat him like everything was okay. That they would try their best to keep him distracted, to let his mind forget at least for a minute that he was walking a tightrope. Clyde seemed to be the only person in the planet that understood what he needed. Not even his family was bothering in trying to make his last days more bearable. That was the only thing that he wanted, that he needed. The only thing that he would ever ask for them if he could gather up the courage to do it, which seemed unlikely considering the little time he had left.

He was trying his best to stay calm and not let his anger leak out, but his performance must have left much to be desired, since Cristina startled him when she put a hand on his left arm.

After recovering from the small surprise, he turned to look at her with a mix of anger and indignation.

"Are you alright?" She asked him.

No, he wasn't. He wasn't even remotely close of being fine. He was starting to get anxious. He could feel himself getting dizzier with each passing second, he was starting to have troubles breathing. He remembered his incident that very same morning, and under no circumstances he wanted to go through it again.

"Don't worry about it," he answered, a little rougher than he needed to, but he didn't care. He shook his arm to get her hand off him and looked back at the board.

He was running short of patience and the last thing he wanted and needed was to deal with her, of all people.

Cristina was no fool, she had excellent grades in school. It was evident to him that she noticed his animosity, but he wasn't in the mood to be apologizing. He grabbed his cellphone from his pocket to pretend that he was busy by reading messages and checking his sisters' social media. Lori had been complaining a few days ago —days that now felt like ages _—_ about being a few likes short of catching her eternal rival. Maybe he could be the little grain of sand that she needed to finally be the winner of her online competition.

"Hey, Lincoln?" She whispered, taking advantage of Jordan, Zach and Liam arguing about the rules and the maximum number of houses a player was allowed to have before upgrading to an hotel.

He let out a sigh and lowered his phone. Cristina, it seemed, wasn't willing to let him be.

"What?"

"About what happened the other day at the mall," she began, her cheeks getting red and her fingers going up to play with some of her curls, "I'm really sorry. I didn't know you were going to be there with Ronnie Anne. She's not angry at you any more, right?"

He was going to answer right away and say no, but an evil idea occurred to him, and even though he thought it wasn't really a great idea, he couldn't help himself right then. He wanted to see her reaction. After all the awful moments that he had passed because of her, a little, despicable part of him wanted to see what she would say. What was she going to do? Argue with him? Get mad? No one could get mad at him.

After all, he was just a little child that everyone felt pity for because he was dying. He had absolute impunity to do and say as he pleased.

"We're going steady now," he revealed.

She blinked a couple of times and leaned back, like the words had physically hit her. Her fingers left her hair alone and her hand dropped until it was touching the carpet.

"O-Oh. I see. I'm, uh, I'm glad for you."

She said she was happy, but the sentiment wasn't reflected in neither her voice or her anguished look.

"Yeah, I'm quite happy," he said, his face experimenting the same problems to convey the emotions that his words described. "It feels good to love someone and have them be honest with what they feel, without ridiculing you or making you feel awful for months."

Lincoln was convinced that even if he had stood up and kicked her in the face he wouldn't have been able to cause Cristina as much pain as his cold words just did, while he kept staring at him so there would be no doubt about what he was referring to. His "friend" gave him an almost horrified look. Her lips began to tremble, and even though she tried to reply, she couldn't.

With both fists closed on her skirt, Cristina lowered her head and stared at the board, trying to escape from Lincoln's accusing eyes. He kept glaring at her, feeling nothing but a small hint of guilt when he saw the girl's shoulders shaking and some treachery tears falling down her face, barely visible except for the light that gleamed on them.

He would have preferred that the game could continue with anyone else noticing anything, but Jordan, from the other side of the board, crushed his hopes.

"Cris? What is it?" She asked.

Cristina didn't answer. She stood up and dashed out into the hall that led to Rusty's bathroom. Everyone remained in silence, and one by one, their eyes fell on Lincoln, who kept pretending he was busy with his phone, aware that his face was doing no effort in hiding just how mad he was feeling. The first one to understand what was probably going on was, of course, his best friend.

"Did anything happen?"

Lincoln looked at Clyde. He held his gaze for a few second before turning to look at the rest of his friends. They were all looking concerned. They loved him, they worried about him. They were there for him, but no one understood him. No one did. No one knew all the pain he was going through, how terrified he was feeling or the effort he had to make to keep a positive attitude every single moment. Faking smiles, pretending that everything was okay, that he was dealing with this better than everyone just so they wouldn't worry.

No more. He couldn't just sit there while everyone else was letting him win a stupid game, sitting right next to a girl that had made his life miserable for several weeks. He was exhausted, tired of the lies, the hypocrisy, the fake worrying.

"I called her out," he announced, daring everyone to reply back to him as he dropped his phone on the carpet.

"What do you mean?" Jordan asked.

"I recalled her when she sent you to tell me that she didn't want me to ever talk with her again. When she switched classes so she wouldn't look at my face. I liked her, I really did, and she did everything that she could to make me feel bad. And now she comes to see me and I'm supposed to be okay with everything that she did?"

They all exchanged nervous looks. Jordan, being a good friend of Cristina, seemed to take it on herself to defend the girl.

"You gotta understand, everyone in class was starting to make jokes and teasing her about being your girlfriend, she was feeling uncomfortable," she softly tried to explain.

"Oh, right, what a terrible thing for them to pair her up with me, isn't it? Such offense. She wouldn't have complained if they said the same about her and Artie."

"It's not like that! Listen, she—"

"I don't care what she said, she made me feel bad and I there's no reason why I should pretend that it doesn't bother me. I didn't even invite her to be here in the first place!" He told them, waving his arms.

His friends had never been good at keeping calm in stressful situations. He could see Liam, Zach and Rusty starting to sweat, rubbing their hands together, scratching their heads, looking away. Even Jordan looked uncomfortable, her fingers now grabbing her braid and twisting it in her hands.

The only one that looked to be keeping a cool head and who had enough confidence to step up to Lincoln was, nothing more and nothing less, than the most puny, insecure, and hesitant of them all.

"Lincoln, Cristina's sorry," Clyde calmly said. "She genuinely regrets what she did, and she wanted to come here to be with you so she could apologize one more time and try to fix things with you. And I think you should forgive her."

"Yeah, right, _she regrets it_. Why didn't she apologized a month ago? Or a week ago. Why now? Huh? You know why? Because I'm dying, and she, just like all of you, is just treating me as if I was already dead."

"Wow, what?"

"Lincoln, we don't—"

"Wait, wait—"

"That's not—!"

"Buddy—"

They all started to talk at the same time, trying to tell him that it wasn't like that, that he was wrong, that it wasn't their intention, but Lincoln didn't want to listen to them. He was more worried about his panting breathing, his constricted chest, his closing throat. He stood up and started to walk in circles to calm himself down.

"Lincoln, I swear to you, we just wanted to spend a good time with you, like we always do," Rusty said, standing up as well, trying to get closer to him.

"That's a lie and you know it!" He sassed, shaking his head and raising a hand to fix the collar of his orange polo, which was suddenly feeling very, very tight around his neck. "You're all letting me win because you pity me! You're not playing fair!"

"It's just a game!" Zach rushed to say. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have offered you my card, I was just trying to help you because you're my friend!"

"Yeah, right, now I'm your friend, everybody loves me now! Do you have any idea how many messages I've gotten from the rest of our class? The same people that would laugh at me and show everyone those pictures where I'm dressed like a baby, or the ones that uploaded that embarrassing video of us at Jordan's pool party! Everyone's pretending that they always liked me, but they wouldn't be talking to me right now if I wasn't dying!"

His mouth was dry, he needed to drink a gallon of water, and he definitely needed something to control his shaking hands. He didn't know if his friends could actually see his state, if they could see what was going on with his body. He even questioned how many of these symptoms were real and how many were just in his head. Was he overreacting? He didn't understand what was going on. Everything around him was starting to spin and the walls and roof seemed to be nearing closer to him, preparing to trap him. The closest he had ever experienced to this was whenever he had to work with wood for school. In those opportunities, though, he would always faint almost immediately, before the vertigo and these awful sensations could escalate to an unbearable point. Lincoln was almost wishing that he could faint so he wouldn't feel so dizzy, cornered. Terrified.

"We were always there for you, we're your friends," Liam told him.

"Always? Always?" He repeated, and when he focused on Liam and the sad, scared faces of his friends, everything around him seemed to focus. Desperate for relief, he held onto that like a shipwreck sailor to the lifeguard rope. "You also shared those videos that almost left me with no friends! You avoided me during lunch to sit with Danny, Artie and Steve!"

Liam looked away from him, not even trying to defend himself. Lincoln would've preferred it if he had talked back to him, trying to convince him that it wasn't like that, to face him so he could keep venting off in an effort to distract himself.

When it was clear that Liam wouldn't say anything back at him, Lincoln decided to focus on another one of his friends. He walked towards him until he was close enough to roughly poke a finger oh his chest.

"And you, Rusty, remember why you became my friend?"

He poked the redhead's chest again, and Rusty took a step back.

"I-I, uh—"

"You had a crush on my sister Lynn, didn't you? She was so much better than all of us in her bike and you started to like her after that tournament she won," he accused him, finally revealing long-buried feelings that he had concealed in the bottom of his soul, demons that he had sworn to forgot and that the old Lincoln would've never brought into light again. "You used to treat me like I was so lame and dumb, but you would always ask me to come to my house to be close to her, up until the day you asked her out and she laughed in your face. And even then I was there to cheer you up!"

"B-But Lincoln, y-you and I… we're friends," he said, his face showing how hurt his friend's words had made him.

"You've been trying to hang out with all the more popular girls and boys in school, and you're just with us because we were your last options and the only ones to give you a chance."

He stopped for a second to take his hands up to his face to rub his eyes and ruffle his hair. The dizziness wasn't stopping, it was only getting worse. He felt a knot on his stomach, like he was about to throw up. His hands kept shaking but now his legs were, too. And he began to feel cold sweat forming on his forehead.

"I've always been there for you, even when no one else was. But what did you do at the first chance that it was presented to you, huh? You always worried about your own reputations! Never willing to give anyone else a chance!"

"Lincoln, we—"

"Shut up, Zach!" He roared, and his friend jumped back. "Do you forget the time when my sister Lisa joined our class? You didn't let me sit with you at lunch because you didn't want to give her a chance! You made me feel bad for being her brother! And you know what? If I had to choose between her and you, I wouldn't even doubt choosing her!"

"We're sorry, alright?" Girl Jordan said, stepping forward with her palms in the air in a sign of peace. "We're not perfect, we screwed up a lot. I also treated you bad at some point, but I still think of you as my friend. I swear I never tried to make you feel bad on purpose. Please, Lincoln, don't get like this, calm down, we're here for you because we love you."

"I know, but you're not helping me!" He complained, closing his fingers on his hair until it caused him pain. "I was having a good time with my sisters and parents until you called me! And now you're treating me like… like you…! You're treating me different! Just because I'm dying!"

His heart was beating fast, his panting breathing blurred his eyes, there was a buzz in his ear that disorientated him. He didn't understand what was going on, but he didn't want to stay there. He wanted to go back to his house with his mom, or his dad, or any of his sisters that cold help him calm down. He was scared and he needed his family's contention as soon as possible. He should've never left his home, why hadn't he stayed there? He was regretting leaving his home, leaving the people that loved him the most.

Ever since the beginning of the argument, Lincoln felt his heart beating anxiously, fighting a war to not let out all the fears he had stuffed in his deepest core. As the minutes passed by, all his fears increased their intensity until the proverbial Pandora's box was opened, releasing all the evil his heart had been containing into his conscience.

He was far away from his family. His head was spinning around, his heart was beating hard. Wasn't this how he'd felt in the park? No, it wasn't the same, he didn't feel a sharp pain like someone was sticking needles in his temples, his head didn't seem like it was about to explode. It wasn't the same, it wasn't, IT WASN'T.

But it could have been. It could've happened to him half an hour ago, or on his way to Rusty's house. And he would have been away from his family, away from his parents, from his sisters. He had left without saying goodbye. Some of his sisters hadn't been at home and he couldn't talk with them. The last thing the twins had seen of him had been during breakfast, and then he had denied them the chance to play because he was busy with his secret project. He had barely spoken with Leni in the morning. What about Lynn? Would her last memory of him be about how he revealed her secret to the rest of their sisters? How could that be the last memory she would ever have of him?

Why was he there? Why was he hanging out with those fake people that only saw him as a dying child instead of his family?

"I gotta go."

He roughly shoved Liam and Zach aside, not listening to their complains or Clyde, Rusty, Jordan, and the newly reincorporated Cristina's pleas to stay there, and he headed to the door. He ignored everything that reached his ears and simply opened the door and walked outside.

A part of him was aware of how cold the cloudy day was, too cold for him to be wearing just his shirt. Little did he care, though, as he rushed his feet to get away from there as soon as possible. He just wanted to breathe fresh air and clear his mind.

He was abruptly stopped by a hand closing around his wrist and forcing him to turn around. He was now facing Clyde's eyes.

"Lincoln, listen to me, you need to calm down," he said, talking slowly, like he was taming a beast.

"Let me go, I want to get out of here."

"Buddy, you're sweating, I know what's going on with you, I can help you, but you need to let—"

"You don't know what's going on with me!" He shouted, shaking his head. "No one does!"

"I'm your best friend, I can tell something's wrong."

"Let me go."

"Please, don't leave us, we want to be with you."

"Let. Me. Go."

"Don't be selfish, think about—!"

He quickly moved his wrist towards his body, unbalancing Clyde and pulling him closer. Just when his friend let go of his wrist and tried to hand onto his shoulder, Lincoln placed both of his hands on Clyde's chest and pushed with his strength. His friend moved his arms like a windmill but couldn't avoid falling hard on his back against the hard, cold sidewalk.

Lincoln heard the grunt of pain Clyde made and the surprised gasps that the rest of his friends let out from the house, but he didn't care. His eyes met Clyde's, his best friend since childhood, the only one that had always, unconditionally be there for him, and after clenching his fists and leaning over him, he yelled the words he never thought he would tell him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Ignoring his friend's scared face and everyone else's pleas, Lincoln turned around and ran away from them, without looking back, without looking forward, just running away from everything that hurt him, letting his legs take him to a safer place.

He ran and ran, so distracted that he was lucky to avoid any accident. He was barely looking before crossing the street, and a couple of people had to move so he wouldn't crash into them. Their insults didn't get to him, because the only thing that his mind could process was the need to run away from Rusty's house. He didn't want to be with his friends, he didn't want to think. He wanted to run and get to his house as soon as possible.

Of course, Rusty's house was on the other side of town, and even though Royal Woods was a small city with a twenty thousand population, his legs couldn't go too far before they gave up. He had just reached a bus stop, and he decided to sit there.

It wasn't just the fatigue what made him stop, but also his anxiety that forced him to sit down and close his eyes. He remembered his morning and how he had felt when he began thinking about his sickness. It was the same feeling. Feeling trapped inside his own body, his nerves making him think that he was about to throw up, that the gray clouds in the sky were falling and closing around him, that everything was spinning around like a hurricane of nonsense.

He lifted his feet on the bench and hugged his knees against his chest, hiding his head between them and closing his eyes.

He tried to relaxed himself. He started by breathing slowly. He would take a big breath, kept the air inside his lungs, and then he let it all out in a long shaky blow. He repeated the process, trying to leave his mind blank, focusing on his body, his breathing, his hands holding his legs, trying to regain control of himself.

He didn't know how long it took him, but after a long, long while, he wasn't panting anymore. He felt more in control of himself, with his heart beating normally and his hands no longer shaking. Slowly, he lifted his head and put his feet down, sitting straight and stretching his body. His neck and legs felt numb but he would rather deal with that than those new, sudden anxiety episodes.

He took a hand to his face and carefully rubbed it. He could feel his armpits damp and his shirt glued to his back because of his sweat. He never liked being like that. It made him feel dirty. Even so, not even all the stench in the world would compare with how dirty his conscience felt.

Now that he was more relaxed, he could look back at his actions in a new light, and a big ball of shame and regret formed in his stomach as heavy as a lead balloon. Christ, what had he done? Why did he make Cristina cry? She was just worried about him. She had gone there knowing that he was still mad at her, just because she wanted to have the opportunity to apologize to him once again. And he had said pretty hurtful things that he knew would make her cry. Just remembering the hurt look she had given him as tears fell from her eyes was enough to break his heart. As many issues as he had with her, she was still a girl, and there was nothing in this world that hurt him more than seeing a girl crying.

And then there was the rest of his friends. He couldn't believe that he had lost control of himself so badly. The things he'd said… he had thought about them at some point. He would sometimes find himself thinking about that when he got into a fight with them, or whenever he felt a little depressed, but he would have never said them out loud. He could have never recriminated them anything because they were simply the best friends he could ever wish for. Even if he had some little thorns saved in his heart, the truth is that he probably had caused them more headscratches than the other way around with his crazy ideas and plans, and even so they would always support him.

What hurt the most, though, was the way he had treated Clyde. He had shoved him into the ground. Clyde! His best friend from childhood, the person he trusted the most outside of his family. Clyde was the brother he had never had. He wouldn't be able to ever forget the image of him on the floor, with a pained expression. All because he had lost control of himself, and it scared to him to think that every day it was getting harder for him to keep his emotions under control.

On Monday, he had been mad at the twins. He was supposed to spend a quiet afternoon with them before braking the hard news on them, and yet his behavior had left much to desire in his opinion. He should've been nicer, ease them down before telling them what was wrong with him. The next day he had gotten really mad at Ronnie Anne after they had breakfast at her house. She was just worried about him, and yet he had lost control. And now, for the third day in a row, he had lost it again and he had ruined the morning his best friends had tried to give him.

The most worrying thing was that he had felt utterly insignificant and useless two times in the same day. He felt like he was a hostage in his own body. He'd experienced something similar two days ago, when an anxiety attack had led him to almost cut all his hair off before he could cool down enough to decide to just dye it. These two episodes today, though, they had been much stronger. The world was closing around him and all he was able to do was to sit down and wait for it to end.

He didn't like feeling that way. It scared him. Even now, calmed down and in total control of his body and mind, he wanted to cry. It was an anguish that made him feel empty in his stomach. It gave him goosebumps and he could feel chills going own his spine, and he new it wasn't because of how cold that cloudy noon was. He needed his parents, he needed Lori, any of his sisters, all of them. He moved his hand to his pocket to grab his phone and call—

It was empty. He checked the other one, but he only felt some bills and a couple of coins. He slapped his forehead with his open mouth, groaning out Loud. Where had he left his phone? He remembered to be pretending to check it out before he argued with his friends and then… Yeah, that's right, he'd left it on the carpet. Clearly, he hadn't foreseen leaving his house in such an awkward way.

Great. He was alone, scared, distressed, disconnected, and far from home. He was still relatively close to Rusty's house, realistically he could walk back there, make sure to apologize and then go back home with his loved ones. He could do that, but he was feeling too embarrassed. He couldn't even imagine how they would receive him, or what he could possibly say to make it right.

"Hey guys, yeah, haha, sorry about that, I didn't mean those things. I forgot my phone, so let me just call my parents to go to my house, alright? No hard feelings! Chao!"

There were no words to express his profound regret and embarrassment. Lincoln was an expert apologizing, but not even him could think of an honest, significant way to apologize for all that he had done. He didn't know if they could ever forgive him. Actually, yes, they might have, but wouldn't they still be hurt by the things he'd said?

He wasn't ready to face them. Not yet. Not so soon. He couldn't go with their, he needed to—

The far echo of a thunder in the distance made him look up into the sky. The clouds were moving slowly, hovering over the whole city in an unstable blanket with different shades of gray. He was suddenly aware of how much the temperature had dropped.

He raised his wrist and looked into Adrien's watch. It was barely past noon. He should be able to reach home before lunch. He then decided to take a look around himself. The bus stop was right next to the entrance to the Sunnyside Garden, a little park that surrounded part of a stream that originated in the woods that the city was named after and that disembogued into the sea. He knew the place, he used to go there with his family when he was little, before Vanzilla was always on the edge of breaking down and it was easier and more practical to go to the central park, bigger and closer to home. He had a lot of money on, he could buy a bus ticket and go back home.

He sat there waiting, resigned to be nagged for forgetting his phone and for returning home in a bus, and knowing that his relationship with his friends may had been damaged forever. He wanted to go with his family right away, but it was very likely that before the day ended he would at least try to talk with Clyde and apologize.

He wasn't in conditions to miss opportunities to do it.

He shook his head. No. He didn't need to think on that, he needed to focus. Smile. Think on cute things. He needed to be strong for everyone else so he wouldn't blow up like that ever again. He needed something to distract himself.

He looked up and saw, on the other side of the street, the sign of _Scoopy-Doo_ , an old ice cream shop that had been installed there since before Lincoln was even born. It had been YEARS since he had last tasted one of their famous ice creams. Just thinking of that flooded his mouth with drool, and he could have sworn he felt the taste of mint chocolate chip on the tip of his tongue.

He looked back at the sky. He hadn't heard any new thunder, but it was obvious that it could start raining any moment now. It was so, so cold as well, but… was he supposed to wait to be there in a sunny day? He couldn't waste any chance. After counting his money and making sure that the bus wasn't coming yet, he crossed the street and went into the store.

A couple of minutes later, Lincoln was returning with his little ice cream pot and a spoon in his hand. The taste was as legendary as he remembered it, and even though he wasn't supposed to eat dessert before lunch, and that it was so cold that his body was pleading for him to stop, he enjoyed every scoop.

Life was meant to be lived by enjoying all the little pleasures, and as he reached the bus stop surrounded by all those movie billboards, he concluded that mint chocolate chip ice cream was one of them.

He was already at the other side of the street when a drop fell on his hair. He looked up to the sky, and another one hit him in the forehead. If he got home soaking wet, his family was really, really going to be mad at him. They never liked it whenever he was careless, went outside without a coat or disregarded their weather warnings. They would probably repeat the same old speeches they had for those scenarios, and he would have to apologize for it. They would of course forgive him, because his family loved him just as much as he loved them. They were, no doubt about it, the lights that kept shining in the dark whenever he needed them the most.

Gradually, and as he reached the bench of the bus stop, the drizzle finally made it's appearance, the frequency of the drops increasing slowly but steady, covering the sidewalk with small spots wherever the water touched it. He kept walking there, taking a new scoop of his ice cream and fastening his pace, surveying the bus stop and everything that surrounded it. The street, the park, the movie billboards, the tress, the—

Lincoln Loud stopped right where he was. The drizzle kept falling on his shoulders, his head, his hands, his ice cream. With his eyes fixed forward, his pupils narrowed, his mint-glossed lips let out a gasp, a chill went down his spine…

Despite all, he managed to swallow his mouthful of ice cream.

The last one he would ever taste.

* * *

.

.

 _Don't miss the conclusion (Hopefully) on Friday 10th!_


	24. The Storm - Part II

_My computer fucking died. You guys have no idea all the things I had to do to get the money I needed to repair it. Two weeks without it, and I lost my translation progress (I use Google Docs in Spanish, but Word for the translation). I finally got it back, and after re-translating everything, here I am with Chapter 24!_

 _In order to stay loyal to the ideas I came up with two years ago, the episode Selfie Improvement won't be considered canon for this fanfic._

Disclaimer: _The Loud House and its characters don't belong to me, they're the property of Viacom, Nickelodeon and its rightful owners._

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter 24:  
The Storm  
Part II**

 **.**

" _Lincoln! Lincoln!"_

 _Lori's voice got lost among the laughter from the rest of the kids playing in the park. She was walking between swings and seesaws, her eyes looking for any sign of white hair. She turned to look at her parents. They were both trying to soothe the twins, who were crying nonstop in the double stroller that grandpa Pop-Pop had bought them when they were born. Lucy, only three-years-old, was standing right next to them, holding her mother's hand with an imperturbable face and a lost look behind her black hair._

 _Her parents were under a lot of stress, and if the twins didn't calm down, they were capable of cutting the trip short and take them all back home. Lori couldn't really blame them if they did that. Raising twins was a whole new experience for them. That's why she was in charge of taking care of everyone else. She had to make sure that Leni wouldn't get lost, that Luna wouldn't go too far off with her walks, that Luan wouldn't be telling jokes to strangers, that Lynn wouldn't hurt herself playing, and most importantly, that she wouldn't hurt her brother._

 _Lincoln, however, wasn't playing with Lynn, as the young athlete soon let her know. Apparently, as much as he loved playing with his older sister, he wasn't ready to swing to the top and jump from there to see who would fall farther away in the sand. He had presumably gone to play in the slides, but Lori had checked them all back to back and he was nowhere to be found._

 _She sneaked a peek back at her parents. She didn't want them to know that she had no idea where her little brother was. She was supposed to be in charge, she was the eldest sibling. Even if they hadn't really asked her to watch over anyone, that was her responsibility, to make sure that everyone else was put in check so her parents could relax and enjoy themselves for a little while. With how stressed they were, the last thing they needed was to start looking for their missing son in a park full of people._

" _Lincoln!" She called again._

 _He wasn't in the playground, so she assumed that maybe he'd gone to the bathroom. Lincoln always, ALWAYS asked for someone to go with him there because he was scared of going to the other side of the park alone. As she neared the little bridge that crossed the creek, she wondered where she could start looking next if he wasn't there. Where could he be? They were very close to the sidewalk; she could see a bus stop from where she was. What if he had left the park? What if he was chasing a balloon? What if he saw a puppy that reminded him of Charles and he had ran away from the park to pet him? She didn't want to worry, she didn't want to think of anything bad, but it was tough knowing that, under her watch, her six years old brother had disappeared from sight._

 _She placed a foot on the bridge when a sound caught her attention. She thought it might have been the little stream of water that hit the rocks underneath. She stayed where she was for a few instants until she heard it again, this time absolutely sure that it wasn't the motion of the water that caused it. She had many years of experience as an older sister, she could recognize the sound of weeping anywhere._

 _She looked around in all directions, looking for someone crying, but she couldn't find anyone. How could she listen to weeping if there was no one around?_

 _She sharpened her ear and after a few seconds she looked down. The bridge she was standing upon was a simple wooden structure that curved over the little slope that led to the creek. Her dad had called it Japanese bridge, whatever that meant; she highly doubted it was actually built in Japan. The only thing she knew was that the floor was made of several wood planks one next to the other, and when she looked at them and focused enough, she thought she had found the source of the sound._

 _She walked back to the beginning of the bridge. Ever so carefully, she walked down the slope, turned to her left, and her older sister's instincts kicked in._

" _Lincoln!"_

 _She ran as fast as she could under the bridge, where her little brother was sitting, crying over his forearms. There was enough space there for her to walk besides him and kneel down in front of him._

" _Linky, what's wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?" She asked, her eyes surveying him for any sign of a wound, stroking the exposed parts of her brother's arms to show him that she was there for him._

 _The kid looked up, and just the sight of his eyes filled with tears and his lips trembling was enough to break the heart of the eldest sibling. She bit her lower lip and opened her arms wide for him. He didn't think twice and leaned forward to allow her to hug him._

" _I'm here, don't cry. It's alright. I'm here."_

" _T-They m-made fun of me," he sobbed. "Some m-mean kids l-laughed at my hair."_

 _Lori hugged him tighter. Everyone in the family knew that Lincoln was very shy and self-conscious when it came to his hair. White wasn't exactly an usual color for a little boy's hair. People at the mall, in school, on the bus or anywhere really would usually keep staring at him like he was a circus freak. He tried to ignore them, to hide behind his parents or sisters, but the snarky remarks and whispers always reached his ears one way or another._

 _Kids especially could be very cruel. Lori knew it firsthand. This year she had started to suffer acne issues, and life in school had turned to hell quite fast, without even giving her a chance to adapt or get ready for the mean teasing she received. It didn't help at all that Carol Pingrey had only gotten prettier with puberty kicking in and had every boy in their class gawking at her. She could relate to what Lincoln felt, but while she was able to ignore most of the teasing and move on, her little brother took it all to heart._

 _He had always been a sensitive boy that needed constant demonstrations of affection from his family, his sisters in particular. He would often feel different, like the odd one, the one boy among so many girls. A stranger in his own house. And even though Lynn, Luan, and maybe even Luna couldn't see it, Lori did, she saw how much he needed everyone to remind him that he was part of the family. As precious and loved as everyone else._

" _Don't listen to them, Linky, they're just jealous", she told him, stroking his back and shoulders. "They have boring, ugly hair, and yours is the color of snow and clouds. It looks beautiful on you, and it makes you special."_

 _Lincoln moved away from her, just a little, enough for him to look into her eyes. A few tears were still sliding down on his face, and his eyes were pleading to her._

" _D-Do you really me-mean it?"_

 _She put both of her hands on those freckled cheeks and leaned forward to plant a kiss on the very tip of his nose. She gave him the biggest, warmest smile she could possibly come up with._

" _Absolutely. You're beautiful, your hair is beautiful, and if anyone wants to tell you otherwise, they'll have to deal with me first."_

 _Her words, even though it wasn't the first time he'd heard them from her, had a balsamic effect on her brother. Lincoln leaned back against Lori and he rested his head on her chest, hugging her tight. He kept sobbing, but the intensity of his whimpering decreased with time, and after only a few minutes feeling safely secured in Lori's fraternal embrace as she whispered sweet words to his ear, the white haired boy finally calmed down, and together they returned with their parents holding hands, with her promising him that she'd buy him an ice cream._

 _Lori walked right in front of him, her sharp eyes looking everywhere, staring and studying the people in the park, with a fire within that let everyone know that she wouldn't let anyone say a single thing at her little brother. Her golden hair and her fiery eyes gave her the look of a fierce lioness protecting her precious cub._

 _Lincoln walked a lot more relaxed and without so many worries, for he knew that as long as his older sister was at his side, he would be okay._

* * *

Present-day Lori was lying down on her bed, barefoot despite how cold the room was, with her phone long forgotten on the nightstand right next to her head. She was staring at the roof, her eyes fixed without really paying any attention to a wet spot near the corner. The thundering rain hit her window and roof, and the sound played as the perfect background for her melancholic state of rest and meditation. She'd been in that very same position for God only knows how long. An hour, maybe? Two? Ever since she came back from her trip to the mall with her boyfriend and Ronnie Anne. It had been very quick. They didn't stop to eat, they didn't stop to chat, they had barely exchanged a couple of words, actually. They got the stuff they needed to buy, and when Luna, Lynn, Lucy, the twins and her mother entered the store, Lori decided to go back home with them. She said goodbye to Bobby with a short hug and a forgettable kiss that didn't last too long and didn't feel particularly meaningful.

For the first time in a long while, her head turned to her phone. Her left arm finally left her lap, and with the lack of enthusiasm that ruled her days lately, it grabbed the electronic device and took it to her. With a swipe of her finger she unlocked the screen, and she immediately pushed away the notifications she didn't care about (comments, likes, videos, game requests), she marked twelve conversations as read, and she opened Bobby's chat.

Five messages in the last hour, all of them unread. They didn't say much. They didn't say anything, in fact. It was just him reminding her that if she wanted to talk, she could talk to him whenever she wanted. That he would be carrying his phone all day long, and that even if he was at work, he would answer her. He reminded her that he would be there, always, no matter what. A big "I love you" with three heart emojis ended the chain of messages.

Lori closed her eyes and sighed, taking the phone to her chest. The truth is that even though she wanted so bad to call him and repeat just over and over again how much she loved him, she felt that it wasn't the right time. She couldn't do it, she didn't have the strength to do it. She wasn't in the mood.

She hadn't been in the mood for anything for the past ten days. She barely ate, since her stomach was convinced that she wasn't hungry at all. She tried to finish her plate, but not because she wanted to, but because she didn't want her parents to worry about her and she assumed it was her responsibility to be an example for her siblings. If they saw her eating, maybe they would eat as well.

She had always being the example child. As the eldest child in the family, it was her duty to be a lighthouse, always guiding the rest of her siblings on the right path that her parents had taught her. They were busy with their jobs and the responsibility to divide their time between their eleven children, so they couldn't really take it on themselves to micromanage the little details and everyday interactions. That was Lori's job. To help them, to be someone they could rely responsibility to, their ally in the difficult task of raising a family. She had never complained, despite the many compromises she had endured.

She was never free, in a way. Her duty as the eldest sister had forced her to give up on her own selfish needs more than anyone else. Whenever there was a new baby in the family that needed to be taken care of, the younger sisters didn't have an obligation to do so, but Lori did. She needed to always be available to lend a hand when needed, so she had to make sure that her schedule was as open and free as possible, and her whole dedication had to be put in her family. She never took sewing classes like Leni. She didn't have a chance to go to the conservatory with Luna. She had only started taking weekly golf classes last year, unlike Lynn, who would practice six sports simultaneously and she had been doing so for most of her life. She understood the house economics better than anyone else did —Lisa may have been the only exception—, and it was that knowledge what more often than not kept her from asking their parents for money, unlike the rest of her siblings.

She always had to earn her stuff with her effort and hard work, and she never complained. Not even now, at seventeen years old, she would complain about how little time for herself she had thanks to the role she assumed. She was in charge of keeping the house in order, to make sure that everything was okay, and she took that duty with honor and bravery. She had never felt sorry for herself, since her family was everything, and she was proud of being the leader of the herd even if that created some levels of temporal animosity towards her on her sisters, because she knew that everything she did was to keep a functional family.

Those past few days, however, had forced her to question the success of her work.

Lori stood up, still holding her phone in her hand, and prepared herself to leave her room. She glanced at Leni's empty bed. Just like her own, it was completely unkempt. The blankets were all over the mattress, and her pillow resting on the floor. It was hard for all of them to focus on their daily chores or to keep any sense of cleaning going on. Still, Lori had found that doing her laundry rounds helped her fall on the same old routine, and she was able to disconnect from the world during those washing cycles, enjoying herself if only for a few minutes of peace and lavender smell.

Leni wasn't home right then, busy as she was with all the preparations needed. There were so many things to do and so little time. She was worried about her, maybe more than anyone else in the family was, but there simply wasn't anything she could do to help her. Not for now, at least.

She left her room and entered the first floor hallway. Once so noisy and active, now it was nothing but a ghost of what she remembered. Empty walls that said nothing, a long corridor whose silence and lack of chaos was but one more proof of the disgrace that had befallen the Loud house.

A disgrace Lori couldn't control.

The only sound that she could hear came from the room right in front of hers. Lori breathed in and decided to go there.

The two owners of the room were there. Luna was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall right under the window. She had her acoustic guitar in her hands, and her fingers were moving from one position to the next, playing a slow, decidedly melancholic melody. Her eyes were closed and she was singing almost in whispers, worried more about the tempo than hitting the right notes with her voice. Her natural talent was still more than enough for even Lori to find beauty in those lyrics.

 _Where are you now? I can hear footsteps, I'm dreaming.  
_ _And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this…_

Lori didn't want to interrupt her. Ever since she was a little kid, even before finding in rock the passion of her life, Luna had always used music to escape her problems. She wasn't the best one when it came to words, to properly show how she felt, she often had troubles expressing her feelings, but she had always had a song to embrace and use to show the real Luna. A lot of people thought that she would speak in lyrics just because it was fun or because she wanted to brag about her vast music knowledge, but the truth is that Luna would always think in musical terms. Her mind filtered everything through music, that's how she worked.

She was passionate, she lived her life the way she wanted to, and Lori was sure that everyone in the world could learn from Luna to not be afraid of chasing your dreams and doing whatever makes you happy. Music was her passion, that's where she had found her call, and ever since then her life circled around it.

Lori knew her sister, and just by listening to her weeping voice she could understand the gigantic pain she felt. A pain that she could never be able to express with stupid, empty words, but that found its way out of her chest through the sad lyrics of a ballad.

 _Are you afraid of being alone? Cause I am  
_ _I'm lost without you_

Lori leaned against the opposite wall from her sister, and maybe she made a slight noise, because Luna opened her eyes and looked up right at her. Just like Leni and Lori herself, the fifteen-year-old girl had stopped putting makeup, since there was nothing more annoying than trails of mascara constantly falling down their cheeks. It was weird to see her eyes without that characteristic purple shade she wore in homage to Mick Swagger's favorite color. It was weird as desolating, especially with how puffy and red her eyes were.

Her right hand hesitated for a second, losing her timing, but she quickly recovered and continued singing for her new audience.

 _Are you afraid of leaving tonight? Cause I am  
_ _I'm lost without you_

The last words faded away along with the final strum of the chorus. Luna patiently waited for the strings to stop vibrating before putting her guitar aside and pressing her knees together.

"Hey", she said to Lori, making an effort to smile. The eldest appreciated the attempt.

That alerted Luan of Lori's presence. The comedian was lying sideways on her bed, facing at the wall. She had been staring at it with as much attention and interest as Lori had been doing with her own roof for the past hour. She didn't know how long her little sister had been like that, but judging by the way she stretched her arms and back, probably quite a lot.

Luan also looked at her and nodded her head to acknowledge her presence.

An awkward silence surrounded the three of them. Lori had always had the right words to tell her siblings, no matter what the situation was. She had always been ready for everything, ready to do what was needed in order to make things better for her family. She could've written her own eldest sibling survival guide to collect all the tips and tricks that would assure you a superb control of the situation no matter what. Now, though, she felt that everything was crumbling around her, and there was nothing she could do or say to make it better.

There was only one thing she could offer her siblings.

"I'll be in the kitchen", she announced. "If you need me… if you need anything…"

Both girls nodded in silence from their places before looking away. Lori waited for a few seconds, her heart hoping against all odds that any of them would ask for an advice, a few words, a hug, anything that she could provide them to make them feel a little better which would in return make _her_ feel a little better with herself. Silence, however, was the only response she got, and it made her leave the room without any new words being exchanged between the three of them.

Luna and Luan had been through their own deep crisis in the past few days. The first one had been Luan, who hadn't spoken with anyone for days in some sort of silence pact she had secretly sworn to. No more jokes, no more pranks, no more laughs. Absolute silence from the comedian from Monday to Thursday. She had lost her drive for comedy.

Luna, meanwhile, had struggled with her own crisis on Friday. Lori had stayed awake late into night, unable to sleep like most nights. She had checked on Lincoln's room three times, always finding him peacefully sleeping right next to Lynn. Insomnia had played a number on her, and the only thing she could do was stay up staring at the roof, waiting for the minutes to pass until she reached the point where her body could simply not stand it any longer and she'd pass out from exhaustion. That's why she was awake when Luna got home drunk late at night after her concert. Her tiredness, worries and her unstable mental state had led her to have an argument with Luna that ended with the musician smashing her favorite guitar to the floor.

Both of her sisters had suffered a lot, but even if they were still sad, dim reflections of their old selves, they had both improved. Luan was talking again. She was back slipping a joke every now and then, and she seemed to understand the right time to make one. She was spending more time with the rest of her sisters, but instead of looking for puns all the time, she was taking every opportunity she could to apologize for her past deeds. Luna had apologized to Lori on Sunday's morning, she was playing music again, and even though she spent her whole time in her bedroom, garage or at Sam's house playing whatever songs her heart asked her to, she was much more receptive towards the rest of the family's advances. They had both slightly improved, moving a bit away from what seemed to be the critical part of their mourning.

And Lori hadn't helped them at all. It wasn't her who rescued them from that spiraling depression.

She continued walking down the hall towards the stairs when the door at the middle of the wall to the left was open. Lynn walked out from there, wearing her usual uniform and her new haircut. It was strange to see her long hair falling freely beyond her shoulders, with some small waves near the end in what was undeniably Lola's work.

Lynn and Lori crossed paths, and they stopped when they were in front of each other.

"Where are you going?" The eldest asked, placing a hand on her sister's shoulder.

"The bathroom", the sporty girl answered without any sign of enthusiasm.

Lori and Lynn's relationship was certainly unconventional. They didn't spend much time together. They had nothing in common aside from The Dream Boat and gold, and in the case of the latter, Lynn was too noisy and she was banned from all training fields. Golfers, apparently, didn't have any sort of patience towards little girls trying to "get in their heads" by making obnoxious noises and laughing at their misses.

Lynn was too tough and not so much delicate, and she encapsulated in her all the uncontrolled and unbridled energy that Lori tried to mitigate in the house every day. Both knew that the best way to avoid conflicts was to not be together for too long, and most of the time, that's what they did.

Even so, Lori deeply loved her just as much as she loved the rest of her siblings. She still remembered the little girl that was constantly trying to get her attention, to show her how fast she ran, how high she jumped, how far she could kick the ball. She used to look for Lori's approval in replacement, perhaps, of the attention that her parents could not give her. In time, the distance between them grew, but Lori could still feel the respect her little sis had for her. As hard to control as she was, it was one of the few that didn't need to be told what to do more than once. A strong gaze, clear instructions, a stern voice, and Lynn would do it. It wasn't something she did for everyone, but the young athlete had been part of several teams, and if there was someone who understood the importance of respecting the team captain, that was her.

Vanzilla's trips to practice where the only small chances they had to be alone together, and even though sometimes the silences could get awkward, most of those trips managed to remind Lori that even without too many things in common, they were still family, and they loved each other dearly.

"Hey, Lynn, if you need anything, whatever it is, I'll be in the kitchen, alright?" She told her, gently squeezing her shoulder.

Lynn nodded, her hair bobbing along with her head.

"Got'cha, thanks. Although I think I'll be staying in my room for a while," she said, looking over her shoulder right into the door she had just walked out of. "Lucy's still in her coffin, and I want to be there in case she needs a hug or something."

Lori followed her sister's look.

"Do you want me to talk with her? These past few days she's been clinging on to you, you must be tired. Let me help her and get a rest, alright?"

Lynn's lips curled up into a smile, highlighting her puffy cheeks and the freckled covering them like chocolate sprinkles.

"Thanks, really, but you know Lucy… She needs her own space, and time… You can't make her talk if she's not ready. You can only be there for her whenever she needs you. And even though sometimes she makes me go nuts, she's still my roomie. We're a team. And she's my responsibility."

The eldest sibling stared at her for several seconds, flabbergasted and not knowing what to say.

"Wow, Lynn, that's uh…" She finally smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. "You're an excellent captain. You really know how to support your players."

The brunette returned the embrace without squeezing her, without trying to lift her up in the air, without turning it into a judo grab. She just gifted her with a simple, honest hug.

"I learned from the best," she whispered before continuing her way to the bathroom. Lori watched her go, noticing how mature she suddenly looked. She remembered how much she had been pushing herself last week, to the point of hurting her wrist with her training. She recalled the fight with Ronnie Anne, the incident at her school, the awful humor she had all week… And then, her anger and self-destructive behavior dropped dramatically. She was still depressed, much like everyone else, sure. But at least she was in control of her emotions and much more serene.

And Lori had nothing to do with it. She wasn't there to help her when she needed her the most.

She continued towards the stairs, leaving behind Lucy's room and without stopping to check on Lisa. She had no idea how the little genius was carrying the news. She seemed to be too busy with her experiments, maybe more than usual. She had an incredibly high IQ but she was very young. There was no way of knowing if hiding herself behind her work was her way of dealing with the pain, if she truly understood what was going on, or what was exactly going on inside her head.

The focus of her attention changed as soon as she saw the twins sitting together one next to the other on the first step of the stairs. She walked down and positioned herself in front of them.

"Hey girls, what are you doing?" She said, using her sweetest, softest voice.

Both kids looked grimly looked up at her. Lana was leaning against Lola, their shoulders and heads touching, but neither the plumber was grimacing for touching her twin's sparkling dress, nor the young princess was throwing a fit for how her perfect hair was being ruined by the dirty red cap.

"Waiting", they both said at the same time.

Lori turned to look at the entry door. She had to muffle a defeated sigh and ignore the cold feeling that flooded her, as if someone had spilled an icy liquid over her shoulders and it was now slithering slowly down her back, finding its way inside her heart.

She was waiting, too.

"Do you want us to play something meanwhile?" She suggested, kneeling down in front of her sisters. "We can grab a board game. Or we can play with cards, or whatever you want. Do you want me to put a movie on the TV?"

The twins looked at the couch. Ever since Lori had memory, the couch was always at the center of every dispute. With only one TV in the house and thirteen people with completely different tastes, it was inevitable to have conflicts and authentic wars for the remote. Lately, however, no one seemed interested in watching their favorite shows. Lori hadn't even remember that the new season of her favorite series had launched that past Friday.

Lola snuggled against Lana, and her twin grabbed her hand.

"No, thank you", the princess replied.

"We'll stay here", the other one added.

Lori could only nod her head.

"I'll be in the kitchen getting some coffee. If you want me to make you something, or you want to play, or whatever you want, just let me know, alright? Let me know."

The kids smiled at her, and even though those weren't the happiest smiles Lori had seen in her life, she felt so relieved that they could at least make that effort. She leaned forward and kissed both their foreheads. The twins had been the last members of the family to find out, and Lori believed that they hadn't fully understood what was going to happen. They were emotionally wrecked, that's for sure, it was obvious, but she thought they were still processing the news.

They had relied on each other, that was also clear. They were always the type of siblings that fought for everything, even the silliest of reasons. Always looking for a fight, their vastly different interests clashing and creating conflict. For the past few months, they had seemed to be fighting for everything, literally everything. Who grabbed the mayo first. Who made the cutest drawing. Who was first in line for the bathroom. They were going through a fighting phase that was tiring everyone else out.

Until _someone_ talked to them and made them realize that they were being immature. Until _someone_ was brave and mature enough to say what everyone saw but no one was actively trying to change. And that certain someone hadn't been Lori. Under her watch, the situation between the twins had ran out of control, and she didn't do anything to make it better.

She walked away from the twins and into the dining room. The first thing she did was take a look at the trophy case. A white blanket was now covering it, although one of the doors was hanging conveniently to a side, showing the broken glass where 'Lynn' had 'accidentally hit it with a basketball'. Her mind immediately went back to Leni, wondering when would she call her to pick her up with Vanzilla. She couldn't remember if she had left with an umbrella, but even if she had, the rain was too strong, she would get sick if she came back walking.

She soon got to the kitchen, and as she prepared a coffee, she wondered… where had she failed? How could she lose control of everything in such a short period of time? She had always been proud of how she knew her siblings better than anyone else. She understood how they thought, how they reacted, what they needed to hear, and what needed to be done to help them in every specific case. The responsibility to maintain balance in the house was supposed to fall on her shoulders. As the eldest sibling, it was her duty to be there whenever her family need her to fix things.

At least that's what she had believed for her whole life. That was the lie she had repeated to herself over and over again to convince herself that she had a purpose, a role to fulfill in the very complex Loud family dynamic.

She wasn't good at sports. She wasn't funny. She wasn't a musical prodigy. She wasn't the prettiest girl at school. She wasn't a genius. She had no technical knowledge. She didn't win contests. She had no skills in poetry. She wasn't any of the great things that the rest of her siblings were, but she never felt bad because she knew that she had another thing going on for her. She was the one that was there to solve everyone else's problems. Because she had nothing going on for her and she could be there to support everyone else, her siblings were able to be as great as they were. She sacrificed her potential so everyone else could achieve their dreams. That was her mission, that's all that she was good for, her drive in this world.

But now it was obvious that she wasn't even the best at that. Lincoln was the real core of the family, she could totally see it now.

Lori could keep them in check, but Lincoln was the one that kept them happy. He was the one that managed to get to their hearts and made them feel better. Even though Lori knew what her sisters were going through, it was he who came up with all sort of ideas to make them feel better. He knew just the right words to say and make them happy. Even when he messed up, becoming the focus of attention for all of them was what usually solved the general problems of the house. They would stop fighting each other to focus on Lincoln, they would forgive him after a day —they could never stay mad at him for too long—, and everything would work out for the best.

Lincoln, her little brother, the most important boy in her entire life, did a better job than her in keeping the family together. She had never considered that a possibility, but know she knew it was true.

And if she couldn't protect and keep her family together, what was she good for?

She leaned against the countertop and drank a few sips of coffee. She stared through the window.

"Why?" She asked to her reflection in the glass. Her sad face didn't know what to say. No one did. No one could.

The backyard lit up in a white flash and a few seconds later the road of a new thunder cracked the sky and rattled the windows. Lori remembered when Lincoln was only three years old. Back then, he used to be afraid of the storms, and every time there was one going on at night, he would go to her room to bunk with her. In time, he had moved on from his fear, but he would still jump up if a thunder caught him by surprise.

She drank a new sip and squeezed the cup with her hands. She didn't want to be a bother, but she needed to talk to him. She needed to hear his voice. She grabbed her phone and called her brother. She was back in the kitchen, but the house was so quiet that she managed to hear the sound of a car door slamming shut from the driveway. A few seconds later, she could hear a feminine voice screaming.

She tried to look at the dining room, but right them someone picked up the phone.

" _Hello?_ " Said what was definitely not Lincoln's voice.

"Clyde?"

" _L-L-L-LORI?!_ "

Even without seeing him, Lori could imagine her brother's best friend fainting. She rolled her eyes.

"Clyde, are you there? Clyde?"

She heard the incoherent babbling of a confused, stupefied eleven-years-old and several voice around him. Finally, someone grabbed the phone.

" _Hello?_ "

It sounded like a girl.

"Hi. I'm Lori, Lincoln's s-"

Violent knocks rattled the front door. Lori almost dropped her cup of coffee and the twins shrieked in fright.

" _OPEN UP!_ " Yelled the unmistakable voice of Pop-Pop, who was trying to twist the doorknob and punching the wooden door like he was trying to knock it down. " _RITA! RITA!_ "

What was Pop-Pop visiting them without notice? And why was he yelling? She was about to go there, but she saw her dad getting closer to the door.

" _Hello?_ " Asked again the voice at the other end of the line.

"Oh! Yeah, right, sorry. I'm Lori, Lincoln's sister. Who am I talking to?"

" _I'm Jordan. I go to school with him_."

Lynn Sr opened the door, and Lori saw Pop-Pop marching inside, completely soaked with the rain and his face filled with anger. Myrtle was right behind him, trying to close the umbrella that grandpa had definitely not bothered using.

"Albert, what's going-?"

"How could you hide this from me, Lynn?!" Pop-Pop screamed, grabbing his son in law by his sweater's collar. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

Lori suddenly understood what may be going on, but she was still confused. Hadn't Lincoln talked with him the day before? Her mom had said so. Why did he look so angry out of nowhere? She needed Lincoln to get home as soon as possible.

"Jordan, listen to me, I need you to put Lincoln on the phone", she hurriedly said, seeing how Myrtle and the twins were trying their best to make Albert release his grip on Lynn Sr. Luna came down the stairs running towards her dad and grandpa, and at the same moment Rita came out of her room carrying Lily.

"Dad, what are you doing?!" She yelled.

Her loud voice scared Lily, who started to cry. A collective effort from the family managed to get Pop-Pop to drop Lynn Sr. Lori took a few steps closer to the chaos, and she could see a few raindrops falling from Pop-Pop's damp hair.

She assumed those were raindrops.

"Sue told me!" He fumed, looking at his daughter. "Sue told me what's going on! How could you keep this away from me for so long?!"

Rita took a hand to her mouth, and everyone in the house gasped. As Lily kept crying in the background, everyone took a few seconds to realize what was going on. Lori shook her head. Oh, Lincoln, what did you do?

" _Lincoln?_ " Jordan's voice repeated, sounding worried. " _Isn't he there?_ "

Everybody was trying to explain the situation to Pop-Pop, asking him what had happened and how could it be that Lincoln hadn't spoken to him the day before, how he was supposed to tell him the truth then, but Lori completely disconnected from that conversation. She spun around where she stood and used her left hand to cover her ear, focusing her attention on the phone call.

"Here? In my house? No, Jordan, he was with friends he… Why do you have his phone?"

" _He left it here, he… Lori, Lincoln left three hours ago_."

A new awful crash of thunder echoed in the sky. Had it's shockwave affected the weak foundations of the house and caused the roof to collapse on her, Lori would have probably not noticed it. She did notice her heart skipping a beat, and a grim chill travelled along her spine, from the beginning of her neck to the lowest part of her waist. She blinked a couple of times and tried to make sure that she had heard that right.

"What? What do you mean he left? Where did he go? With whom?"

" _No, he… He left alone_ ", explained the girl, and Lori could feel the guilt in her words. " _We had a fight and he ran away. We… we thought he has in his house._ "

"Jordan, Jordan, listen to me. How long ago did he leave?" Lori urged her, her hand gripping her phone so hard she was afraid of breaking it before getting all the information she needed from this girl.

" _I don't know, a little before it started to rain, like three hours ago. Isn't he there? Didn't he get home? Lori? Hello? Hello, are you there?_ "

She didn't say anything. She was barely aware that Pop-Pop was arguing with Rita and that Myrtle and Lynn Sr were trying to calm them. She could hear Lily crying in the background and the rest of her siblings talking one over the other saying who knows what. The rain kept hitting the windows, and the wind played a melody as it rushed among the treetops. The world kept spinning around her, but it was like Lori was trapped inside a bubble isolated from all interferences. The only thing she could clearly hear was her own panting as her mind tried to calculate how far away was Rusty's house from her own. How long could one a person take to walk that distance? An hour? An hour and fifteen minutes?

Her knees buckled and the coffee she had just drank seemed to be drilling a hole in her stomach, like she had just ingested acid. Her mouth was dry and her hands were shaking. She took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice from failing her.

"Jordan, I need you to call all of Lincoln's friends and ask them if they've seen him", she softly instructed her. "And if anyone did, call me to this number right away."

The girl tried to tell her something, but Lori ended the call and heavily dropped her phone on the table. She leaned against it, her hands closing against the edge and her head falling between her shoulders.

Three hours. Three. Hours. In a walk that couldn't have taken longer than an hour and a half tops. Under the pouring rain. She was about to throw up, but she got a grip. She couldn't be weak. She needed to be strong. She…

She had to find her brother.

Her instincts flared up. That single thought brought lucidity back to her mind, and her daze and confusion were replaced by the purest state of terror and despair that she remembered ever having felt in her life.

"MOM! DAD!"

She ran towards the entry hall, where everyone was arguing. No one seemed to pay her any attention with how busy they were blaming each other, looking for excuses, trying to calm others down, with babies crying, girls asking questions, stupid discussions while no one knew where Lincoln was.

"SHUT THE HELL UUUUUUP!"

As soon as she finished her yelling and opened her eyes, she found everyone staring at her. She was panting and her hands were shaking. She didn't even know if what she felt on her forehead was sweat or if there was a leak in the house. She had no time to worry about that, and much less for losing time with her family being stupid and fighting for nothing.

"Lori, what's wrong?" Her dad asked, looking at the state his eldest daughter was in.

"L…"

Her throat failed her. She was having a hard time breathing normally, and she had to gulp a few times to find her breath and be able to look at them in the eye and say the single, most powerful word at the moment:

"Lincoln."

* * *

The following minutes were too chaotic for anyone involved to remember how things had exactly occurred. The only thing they all managed to understand was that Lincoln should've arrived home hours ago, but he hadn't. He wasn't there with them, and he wasn't with his friends like they assumed. No one knew where he was, but everything seemed to indicate he was alone by himself somewhere in Royal Woods as a fierce storm raged over the city.

The living room turned into a hecatomb of people moving from one place to another. Crashing into each other, running to get their coats as some girls cried and others were worried sick. Lynn Sr had to take the reins to organize the family. He and Rita would take Vanzilla and get out there to look for Lincoln. Pop-Pop and Myrtle would use the car in which they had arrived and also look for their grandson, taking a different route than the parents. Everyone else was going to stay at home just in case Lincoln would get there. They were instructed to call everyone they knew to find out if anyone had seen their brother.

"Dad, please, let me go", Lori pleaded to him. "Please!"

"Lori, I need you to stay here to look after your sisters", he repeated, finishing putting his coat on and grabbing the van keys.

"But Dad, I literally-!"

"No buts! I need you to-! LYNN JR, LUCY, GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Through the window, everyone saw the two girls running from the backyard, dressed with their raincoats. Lynn was carrying her bike, and Lucy ran right behind her with her black umbrella. Rita opened the door and yelled at them to stay, but the two sisters hopped on the bike and pedalled away under the rain with no one to stop them.

Lynn Sr gave a heavy punch to the drywall and looked back at Lori.

"I need you here so THAT doesn't happen!" He said, waving his arm in the direction his two daughters had ran away. "The storm is too strong and I don't want you outside! You could get sick! Stay here! All of you!"

Without waiting for an answer, he walked out of the house and left along with his wife on Vanzilla.

Lori was left standing in front of the door. She was clenching her fists with fury, and she found herself on the verge of tears, about to cry for how useless she felt. Lincoln, Linky, her little brother was lost out there, and she was supposed to stay at home. Staying there, waiting for others to find him. He was out there, cold, soaked wet, scared. Or maybe not, maybe… maybe he…

She moved her hands to her hair and pulled it almost painfully as she let out a desperate grunt.

"L-Lori?"

A soft voice made her turn around. Lola and Lana had their arms wrapped around each other, with tears falling down her cheeks, dampening the carpet beneath them. They were shivering as if the cold from outside was getting to them. Behind them, Luna and Luan were watching it all, trying their best not to cry. Luan was biting her nails off and Luna paced in circles, rubbing her face and her hair.

"I-Is he… is he coming back?" Lana asked, crying even harder after the words left her mouth.

It was like a dagger to her heart. A very sharp dagger, soaked in venom, that stabbed her at the deepest, most fragile part of her soul. It was a question Lori herself didn't dare ask. She didn't want to think about it, she didn't want to even acknowledge that possibility.

She wasn't ready. She would never be. It had been over a week since she found out about this, and she still couldn't begin to imagine how life could go on without him. She stayed awake every night until she couldn't take it anymore and she had to check up on him. She would silently sneak into his room to watch him sleep for several minutes. She would focus on his precious sleeping face, his breathing, the grimaces he would make every once in a while. She watched her little brother sleeping and she would remember all the things they had been through together. Everything they've lived. The good, the bad, the sad, the funny. She couldn't believe this was happening. It couldn't be true.

The twins were still waiting for her answer, and so, after clearing her mind as much as she could given the circumstances, Lori knelt down to be at their height.

"Lincoln's coming back. He'll come back", she repeated with conviction, trying to reassure not only the twins, but herself. "He's lost, but they're going to find him. They're bringing him home, and we're all going to be together."

This couldn't be the end. Things couldn't end like that. She hadn't bid a proper goodbye yet. She hadn't told him everything she needed to say. She hadn't explained to him just how much he meant to her. He was her world, her muse, her brother. She needed to let him know that. She couldn't accept the possibility of perhaps having missed her last chance to talk to him.

"Where is he?" Luan asked out loud, out of breath like she had inflated all the balloons for a birthday party. "Where would he go?"

"The dudette said they had a fight, maybe he just wants to be alone for awhile", Luna suggested, still pacing around the couch. "Maybe he's just at a place waiting for the rain to stop. He forgot his phone, he has no way to contact us."

"He wouldn't do this to us, though", her sister retorted, shaking her head. "He knows we'd be worried sick, he'd try to call us."

"And how would he do that? He doesn't have his phone", the rocker complained, sounding irritated. "He's fine, mom and dad are going to find him."

"Don't you think it's a little weird? Do you really not think that something-?"

"I'm not saying what I think, Luan, I'm saying what I hope it's happening!" She yelled, interrupting her as she pulled her own hair. "We don't know where he is and he doesn't have his phone on him, so we can't track him! I'm staying here in the house, so I can only hope that he's somewhere safe waiting for the rain to stop so he can come back home!"

The twins kept crying, and soon Luan joined them. Luna exchanged a worried look with Lori, and the two eldest sister sisters in the house saw in the eyes of the other the same concern and effort to keep calm and pretend that things weren't so bad in front of their sisters that each other felt. Luna sighed and walked closer to Luan to try to comfort her, and Lori was left alone, standing there, surrounded by a family in ruins.

She clenched her fists. Luna was right. Her mind wanted her to stop to think of all the bad possibilities, all the dire things that may have happened, but she couldn't allow herself to do that right then. Lincoln was fine. Lost, but fine. That's what she needed to focus on. She needed to believe that her parents would find him. That her grandfather would find him. That Lynn and Lucy, in their audacity and imprudence, would find him.

Anyone but her, because there was absolutely nothing she could do to help. She was trapped in her house, not allowed to go outside, without any way to help in the search for her brother, nothing to do but wait. Luna was right, Lincoln didn't have his phone, there was no way of contacting or tracking him down, there was nothing in her power that-

Track him!

As a golden dart, she dashed through the twins and ran stairs up, almost tripping on the seventh step because of how fast and careless she was running. She didn't worry about it and she definitely didn't slow down until she was desperately banging on the first door to the right.

"Lisa! Lisa, open up!"

She continued knocking on the door with her fists, not waiting for an answer. She tried the doorknob, but it was locked. Frustrated, she hit the door with her shoulder, trying to take it down if she had to. At the first strong impact, however, a red light lit on right next to the lock, and Lori could hear several mechanic sounds from the other side.

"Lisa, listen to me, this is important, open the door!" She yelled, banging once more.

This time the door barely moved to her advances. Whatever it was that she had accidentally activated, it was definitely something she couldn't break through.

A small hidden panel next to the door folded into the wall, revealing a little speaker.

" _I am currently occupied, sibling unit. If this is about Pop-Pop's arrival, which my sensors have detected, please communicate to him from my part that my studies and investigations are of vital importance and require my complete devotion to-_ "

"This isn't about Pop-Pop, it's about Lincoln, you idiot!" She roared, bumping the door with her fists. "Lisa, we need you! **He** needs you!"

She waited for insufferably long seconds until the sound of heavy mechanic locks reached her ears once again, muffling the sound of the rain hitting the roof tiles. Shortly after, the door opened, and Lori found herself staring at the seemingly imperturbable face of her younger sister.

"You have my attention, eldest sibling", she said. "Speak."

Lori didn't waste time going into silly details, and instead went straight to the point, explaining the basics of their predicament.

"Mom, dad, grandpa and Lynn and Lucy went out there to look for him, but we don't have any clue of where he could be. So I don't care what type of investigation you're running right now, you have to put it on hold and help us find him as soon as possible."

Throughout her whole explanation, Lisa's face didn't show any visible change, remaining as deadpan as always. Lori's trained eyes, however, could see how she got slightly more serious. Her lips were a bit more pursed, her eyebrows locked themselves into a frown but she didn't look nearly as anxious or alarmed as Lori would expect her to be. As she should be.

"Nothing bad should have happened to him", Lisa finally said, walking once again inside her room. Lori went right behind her, fearing being locked outside. "I conducted new studies this very morning, the experimental serum L-37 showed no signs of losing its effectiveness, his metabolism was still within the expected parameters and the metastasis was under control, away from all vital organs. The possibilities of an unexpected relapse should only be in the realm of fifteen percent."

"Fifteen percent?" Was the first thing Lori could say. She didn't understand much about statistics, but fifteen percent off on clothes was an always welcomed discount at the mall. That's way more than what she was willing to accept. "Wait, wait, wait. You said experimental serum? Lisa, what the heck have you been doing?!"

"It has no secondary effects!" The young girl said. "None of the lab rats showed any sign of hormonal deficiency or-!"

"Lab rat?! Lisa Marie Loud, what did you give our brother?!"

"Time!" Now yelled the scientists, making a beeline to a whiteboard filled with calculus and notations, using her hands to emphatically point at the strange symbols, like she truly believed that would clear Lori's doubts. "I did everything in my power to keep his body in a state of homeostasis, regulating him and keeping him safe until THIS is finished!"

Her right arm now pointed at her desk, and Lori's attention was drawn towards a big decanting ampoule that, drop by drop, let a shiny, scarlet liquid pour into a tiny vial no bigger than a regular perfume. A piece of grey duct tape covered a big part of the vial, with a rough number 4 sketched on it with a permanent marker. On the other side of the table, there were already three more glass vials already filled with what seemed to be the same liquid. They were numbered from one to three, and there were at least two more, empty, waiting besides the rest.

"What's that?" Lori asked, trying not to let her imagination run wild and get her hopes too high.

"My investigation", her sister explained, moving closer to the ampoule and staring at it with almost devoted eyes. "Everything I've been working on for the past days. My… _Our_ only hope."

Lori tried to understand. Did that…? Was she implying that…?

"It's not ready yet", she said, however, and the flickering light of hope that had momentarily lit in Lori's heart was extinguished just as fast as it appeared. "I need more time. I need more hours."

Her little fists clenched over the desk and she turned around. For the first time in a long while, Lori saw a very particular emotion in the little genius' eyes.

Fear.

"I'm close. I'm so close", she said, pursing her lips so they would stop shaking. "This can't happen now. It can't be. Lori, I'm so close."

She moved closer to her eldest sibling, who had to lean down to put a hand over the little girl's shoulder. Her spectacles acted like two magnifying glasses, making her eyes look big, round, and amplifying all the pain and sudden anxiety that took over her features. Lori couldn't remember ever seeing her like that.

"Lisa, listen to me, we need to find Lincoln as soon as possible", she told her, trying to remain calm. "I know you decided to ignore when mom and dad told you to remove the trackers you put on all of us. But it doesn't matter, okay? You're not in trouble for that. Just use it and tell us where he is."

Her sister's eyes moved to a side as she lowered her head.

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?! There's a fucking storm out there, tell me where he is!"

"I don't know!" She cried, both of her hands closing around the frame of her glasses. "I removed every possible implant that could have interfered with my studies or affected his physiology! Lori, if he's… if he's still alive, it is of vital importance that we find him as soon as possible! Any alteration to his health state could be catastrophic for his condition! He can't get sick, his body needs all of its energies to fight this battle against time!"

If he's still alive. Those words hit Lori like a sledgehammer. Her stomach made a twist and her head began to ache. Her mind took her to a painful trip to the past, reminding her of the time when Lincoln had convinced the owner of Gus' Games & Grub to let him work for a night in replacement of her, the night she wanted to spend with Bobby at a school dance.

Lincoln, the sweetest, most caring, attentive kid in the world. Her world. He was now far away from home. Luckily, hopefully, he was still alive, but even then he would still be alone, scared, unreachable, lost somewhere in Royal Woods as the biggest storm in months was besieging the city. Pouring rain kept hitting against the windows of Lisa's room and every drop sounded like a tiny moving clock hand, reminding her of the race against time they were all trapped in.

He was out there, somewhere.

What the hell was she doing in there?

"I gotta find him", she whispered, releasing her grip on Lisa and desperately jumping up.

She tried to leave the room, but her sister stopped her.

"Lisa, we're out of time, if you don't know where he is, then let me-!"

"There's something you must give him."

Confused, the eldest observed how Lisa opened a big cabinet of her desk. She fished out from there what seemed to be a small kit with a keyboard on top, and after entering a six digits code, the tiny suitcase opened, letting out a whoosh of compressed air. With trembling hands —something Lori had never seen in Lisa before—, the girl extracted a small bottle with a corch at the neck, sealing a yellowish liquid inside.

"What's that?"

"If you find him, you need to make sure that he drinks this right away", she said, almost tripping with her own tiny feet as she dashed near Lori to hand her the bottle. "Eldest sibling, this is a concentrated concoction based on the formula of the experimental serum I've been giving our brother to help keeping his condition stable. This will boost his immune system and raise his body temperature to prevent infections. At his current state, he can't risk getting not even a cold. Find him. Give this to him. Make sure he drinks it all, and maybe… maybe there can still be some hope left for us."

She finished her phrase with a long look at the ampoule on her left.

Lori wasted no time. She ran right into her room, grabbed her raincoat, made sure that the bottle of yellow liquid was safely put in one of her pockets, and she dashed downstairs while she still struggled with the light-blue slicker, battling against her own movements to put it on.

"Lori? What are you doing?" Luan asked upon seeing her.

"Luna, Luan, stay here and take care of the girls", she commanded, closing the zipper of her slicker. "I'm going out to find him."

"What? Lori, you heard the old man", Luna said, "you have no car, the storm-"

"Lincoln's out there, Luna!" She interrupted her, stepping closer and grabbing her by her shoulders. "Please! I know him, I know the places he likes, maybe he's at the arcades, or eating a pizza, o-or…! I need you to stay here and help Luan take care of the twins."

"Bruh…"

"I'm begging you, Luna, please", she implored, her eyes fighting to show no signs of weakness. "I need to find him. Please."

Luna and Luan exchanged a look. Their sister wasn't going to wait much longer for an answer before running away from them by force if she had to. Before Lori's patience reached her limit, however, Luna took a step forward and hugged her with all her might. Lori hugged her back, closing her eyes and squeezing her before moving away.

"Call Leni and tell her to stay at the mall", she proceeded to instruct her, finishing the last touches on her raincoat, making sure that the fragile glass bottle was safe where it was. "Make her look around the food court and the comic books store. Have her ask the security guards for any sign of him. You guys call Guss' Games & Grub and have them look for a kid with an orange polo. And call Bobby, have him check if Lincoln's with Ronnie Anne of if she's seen him or knows anything about him. If you find out anything, whatever it is, call everyone right away. Stay here, don't go outside. Stay safe."

She bid goodbye from Luan with a quick nod of her head and moved towards the door, but the twins pulled from her slicker.

"What?" She asked, somewhat irritated, turning around to look at them.

She immediately regret it when she saw that they were still crying, their eyes filled with tears that shone with twinkles of anguish and fear.

"F-Find him", Lola begged her.

"B-Bring him h-home", her twin added.

She cleared her throat to remove the awkward knot she felt in there and gave them a reassuring, intense look.

"I will."

She left the house, wasting no time. As soon as the closed the door behind her, she was for the first time fully aware of the storm's intensity. The wind was moving the treetops like they were nothing but tall grass out in the field, the trunks and branches waving to the point where it managed to frighten the seventeen-years-old. Rain was falling in a continuous stream, a giant cataract that covered the entire city. The ferocious sounds of the wind and water made her feel apprehensive of walking without an umbrella or rain boots, wearing nothing but a slicker that covered about half of her thighs, a tank-top underneath, her usual shorts, and her shoes.

Then she remembered that Lincoln had nothing on either, and without a doubt she went right into the storm.

The first minutes were terrible. Before reaching the corner of the street, there was no longer a single part of her body that had managed to stay dry. She could've dipped in a pool and chances were she wouldn't get any wetter. Her uncovered legs, her face, her neck, even her socks were sodden, and every single step she took was as uncomfortable as it could get. She couldn't even take a good look at her surroundings because of the gale that hit her right in her face, pushing her hood off and messing up her hair, but she still tried her best to walk with both eyes open, alert for any sign of orange.

"LINCOLN!" She began to scream, trying for her voice to be heard over the thunderous squall.

Every step was a test, trying to make it through a neverending curtain of water that hindered her in every direction, but Lori never stopped. She walked and walked, screaming every few feet her little brother's name, hoping for him to hear her and run right into her arms like he used to do when he was younger and she would go outside to the backyard to call him in for lunch. She would just stand on the little steps outside of the kitchen and he would make a run and a big jump to fall right into her waiting arms, knowing that his sister would always catch him no matter how fast he'd run.

"LINCOLN! LINCOLN!"

Her yelling was lost in the emptiness of the streets. No one seemed interested in leaving their homes with the current storm, and only a few cars were driving here and there, considerate enough as to not throw water all over Lori as they passed right next to her. She crossed paths with a few pedestrians that gave her worried looks at her from under their umbrellas.

"Have you seen a little boy? Eleven-years-old, orange shirt, wearing some jeans?" She would ask them, not caring about how desperate or crazy she'd look like. Every single time she had to remind herself to not say "white hair", which would have been a very nice clue for people to remember seeing him, but she always caught herself before saying it, remembering that he no longer looked like that. Why did he change his hair? Why had Leni helped him? She had kept her reservations to herself since the beginning, but now she felt absolutely guilty for having allowed it. She couldn't blame Leni, and in all honesty, she couldn't blame Lincoln either, but right then it would have been extremely helpful to have such a noticeable trait to help identify him. She could only pray that people would remember an orange polo.

No one had seen him, however, and as soon as they let her know that, she would continue her march towards the other side of town, screaming and yelling without losing hope.

Lincoln had helped her get a part-time job to pay for her expenses and to not rely so much on what her parents could give her. He had gathered up all their siblings to confront her boyfriend when they wrongly thought the was cheating on her. He had admitted he needed her help to keep the house under control. He was the most tender, kind, beautiful and perfect kid in the world. Her little brother. Her snowflake. She couldn't fail him.

"LINCOLN!"

She heard the sound of a car driving closer from behind, and she moved away from the edge of the sidewalk so she wouldn't get hit by the water. Her head was turning from one side to the other, trying to search both sides of the street at the same time, looking for any sign, any clue that could lead her to her brother.

She paid no mind to the car until she heard it stopping right next to her, and the sound of a window rolling down caught her ear.

"Lori?"

She stopped where she was. She closed her eyes and raised her head to the heavens above, feeling that the rain hitting her face was nothing but the universe spitting on her. She was already on the edge of having a mental breakdown and a panic attack with how things were. The last thing she needed was the luxury car of that stupid Carol Pingrey stopping by her side.

She turned around. Carol was staring at her from the driver's seat, an eyebrow arched up on her forehead. She was completely dry, impeccable, her hair wavy and perfect just like she and everyone else at school seemed to love. Lori, meanwhile, was dripping wet from every inch of her body, her hair sticking to her forehead and face, back and shoulders.

She didn't want to be seen like this, she definitely didn't want to deal with Carol right now, but she had to swallow up her pride, because there was something infinitely more important than her absurd high school rivalry.

"Lori, what are you doing out in the-?"

"Carol", she interrupted her, getting closer to the car, trying her best to hide the fact that some of the drops that were falling down her cheeks hadn't come from the clouds, "have you seen my brother?"

The blonde girl tilted her head.

"Your brother? You mean-?"

"LINCOLN, CAROL, LINCOLN!" She snapped. "Mi brother, eleven years old, about this tall, orange polo! He had white hair but now he dyed it brown! I'm looking for him, have you seen him anywhere at all?!"

Carol stared at her, confused for a second. She darted her eyes towards the street, like she was expecting to suddenly see him there, and then she looked back at her classmate.

"No, I… Uh, I haven't seen him."

Lori had had the slight hope that, maybe, her archenemy could end up being the key to find her brother and bring him back home safe and sound. It would've been almost poetic for Carol to be the one to have seen him. Lori would've forgiven everything, she would stop competing with her and she would allow her to win all contests, tournaments and social media competitions that she wanted. But even though she was willing to sacrifice it all, she received no clue.

"Thanks", she managed to say with what little voice she had left before dashing away as fast as she could. She ignored the look the other girl gave her, just like she tried to ignore everything else. The only thing she could and wanted to focus was on finding her brother.

Once ago, they had lost Lincoln on the beach. They searched the whole place for over half an hour until Luan found him at the furthest end of it, playing between the rocks. Those had been the most frightening moments in Lori's life, because the last they had seen him he was playing on the shore, and the whole family was terrified that maybe a wave could have dragged him into the sea.

This time, the fear was exponentially stronger. She was crying just for imagining that maybe it was just too late. That maybe the tide of fate had claimed him, and neither she nor anyone else had been there with him to save him.

A car stopped next to her once again, but this time she heard the sound of a door.

"Lori!"

She turned around, ready to yell at Carol things that her mother wouldn't be proud of, but the insults died in her throat when she noticed the passenger's door opened and the girl inside the car patting the seat, looking worriedly at her.

"What?" She said in a whisper, and there was no way Carol could have heard her with the wind and the rain.

"Get inide! Let's look for him from the car, it's safer!"

She wasn't sure she had heard her right, but everything seemed to indicate that she was inviting her to hop in the car with her. To get inside her very expensive and luxury car even though she was all soaked and dripping wet.

"Come on!"

She would have never thought she could ever share a car with Carol Pingrey, and much less to think that she would be the one offering her a ride. As oniric as the situation seemed to be, however, and even though a small part of her couldn't help but feel that she would end up regretting this, she didn't need much convincing to get out from under the rain and jump into the car with her eternal rival.

Carol stretched back and used her hand to look for something under her seat. With a little effort, she managed to fish out some sort of blanket. She palmed it a few times to wipe the dust out of it and as soon as it was clean enough she gave it to Lori.

"Here", she calmly said. "You said you're looking for Lincoln? What happened?"

As she dried whatever she could form her face and hair, Lori summarized what had been going on in the past few hours. She tried to stay strong, to not break down, but repeating everything out loud was painful, as if any word she spoke was engraved by fire on her skin.

"W-We don't know where he is and… and… it's cold, and it's raining, and…"

She covered her face with the blanket and muffled a cry of desperation. She was wasting time. Every second that went by without finding Lincoln added a bit more to her worry, fear and anxiety. The possibilities that something terrible might have happened to him became more real the more time she wasted, slowly moving up from that fifteen percent Lisa had mentioned, and just thinking about the idea that maybe he…

"Alright, alright", Carol said, closing her eyes and with both hands in the air, trying to focus. "Tell me where his friend's house is and we'll just check the streets Lincoln would've walked to go back home, alright? Lori? Is that ok?"

She wanted to answer her, but she couldn't. What if Lincoln was already dead? What if her brother had died alone, lost in the storm? No one to say goodbye to, no one to hug, no one to hold his hand as the light in his eyes-

"Lori!"

The Loud took the blanket away from her face and looked at her rival. Carol was frowning in her worry and stared at her like she was actually worried about her. The emotion in her eyes was too honest to fake it.

"Lori, listen, I can't even imagine what you're going through, but you need to focus right now. Your brother needs you."

 _Your brother needs you_. Her brother, Lincoln. Yeah, she was right. He needed her. He was still alive, he was somewhere out there, looking for shelter from the storm, waiting for someone to find and rescue him. And she would. She'd find him and bring him back home sound and safe, just like she had promised the twins she would.

"Yeah… Yes, you're right, he… needs me."

"That's right, he does. He's waiting for her sister", Carol softly reassured her. "Now, help me think, where would he go? Where could he be?"

Lori closed her eyes and recited Rusty's address by heart. It was the best place to start. Carol immediately turned on the engine and began to drive there. They were moving relatively fast, but they both kept their eyes open and alert to any sign of movement on the street and the sidewalks, hoping to be lucky enough to run into Lincoln.

"Lori, listen…" Carol began, her eyes scanning the area around her. "We heard in school about your brother. Roberto told us, actually. I just want to tell you that I can't imagine what you and your whole family are going through, and… If you ever need anything, whatever it is, whenever you need it, I want to let you know that you can count on me. I know we… We're not the best friends we used to be, alright? And it's my fault, it totally is. We used to be real close, but I was always jealous of the attention your family gave you and how much they loved you, so I guess that I tried to-"

"Carol, this is not the time", Lori interrupted her, her brow pressed against the window, trying to look farther into the storm.

"You're right, I'm sorry", she immediately apologized, looking embarrassed at herself.

Both girls kept looking everywhere with their eyes, stopping every single time they crossed paths with someone on foot or another vehicle, asking for any sign of Lincoln. There was no luck. No one had seen a kid walking alone under the rain. The storm, meanwhile, didn't seem to be willing to give them a rest. Flashes of lightning kept illuminating the streets for several seconds, and the thunders could be heard as distant explosions that would cover Lori's screams every time she rolled down the windows to call for her brother.

"We're getting close to his friend's house", Carol announced, turning on a corner. "Lori, you know him better than anyone. You said he had a fight with his friends. Where would he go? What's around here that could catch his attention?"

"I don't know, I don't know", she answered, her mind working faster than it ever had, trying so hard to put herself in Lincoln's shoes, to think like he would. "He's not the type to get into fights, Carol, I don't know what could have possibly happened. I don't know what he was thinking."

A man was walking with an umbrella by the left sidewalk, and Carol stopped right next to him, rolled her window down and asked for Lincoln. He also didn't know anything about an eleven years old boy navigating the streets all by himself. They were merely ten blocks away from Rusty's house, and Lori was considering the possibility of turning around and search in other streets. Being so close to his friend's house, the logical thing would've been for Lincoln to go back there. Even if they had argued, common sense should have triumphed. Lincoln was an extremely smart kid. He was brilliant, perceptive, wise. He wouldn't walk back home across town under such a big storm. He'd look for a public phone or somewhere else where he could call his parents or her. Even if rain had surprised him…

There was of course another explanation. A simpler one, yet much more terrible and painful. An explanation that Lori wasn't willing to accept until she would see it with her own eyes. And even then she wasn't sure she could ever come to terms with it. Her heart would never accept it.

She rolled the window down once again.

"LINCOLN! LINCOLN! LINCOLN!"

Piercing screams left her throat, knowing very well that there was no way they wouldn't leave it sore for the next couple of days. She was mad at the lack of movement in the city. No one wanted to go out, everyone was warm and cozy in the safety of their homes, none the wiser that right then and there there was an eleven years old kid that could be dying, and that there was a whole family looking desperately for him. How could they all be sitting peacefully in their couches drinking hot coffee while her brother was still missing?

Her eyes were scrutinizing every inch of the sidewalk, looking for any sign. It was then when she saw a signboard that brought back a waterfall of memories to her brain. A name that she hadn't read in years, but that used to be a cause of happiness for the whole family.

"Stop the car!" She asked.

Carol seemed startled, but she did what she was told to do.

"Did you see something? What-? Where are you going?"

Lori didn't bother to answer. She got out of the car, receiving once again the full blast of rain and gale on her face. She could only resist thanks to the strength that thinking on Lincoln granted her, and soon enough she managed to get past the doors of _Scoopy-Doo_.

"Oh, child, you got caught in the rain?" Said a man behind the counter. He looked to be slightly older than Lynn Sr, with the first hints of white appearing on his hair, and wrinkles of time showing on his face. His small and round eyes were studying her with a pinch of worry as he cleaned an already impeccable counter with a cloth.

"Mister, sorry for bothering you", she said from her place, trying not to step too much inside so she wouldn't soak the shiny, clean ceramic floor, "but I'm looking for my brother."

The owner of the shop stood straight and left the cloth aside.

"Brother, you say?"

"He d-didn't get home", she explained, fighting against her nerves to make sure that the words would flow in a coherent way. "He's sick, and we don't know where he is. Have you seen him? He's eleven, he has whi… brown hair, wearing an orange polo."

The man frowned and tilted his head, searching in his memory. Lori was already getting ready for a new deception, to being let down once again by destiny, to receive a new stab to her heart and hope. She was running out of options. She could only keep wandering around town and pray to the Fates to help her find him by pure luck.

When the ice-cream man snapped his fingers and his head looked up at her in a quick movement, it was like the clouds in the sky parted, and a direct ray of sunlight fell upon her.

"He was here a few hours ago", the man said, and his voice sounded like an angel whispering to her in the middle of the night.

Lori's knees shook and threatened to let her fall. She ran towards the counter, not caring about messing up the neat shop anymore, getting closer to that man that she now saw as a savior, a real life hero.

"How long ago? How did he look? Where did he go?" She asked, leaning over the counter.

"He was one of the few clients I had today. People usually don't buy ice cream when it's cold", he mentioned, scratching his head. "It hadn't started to rain when he came, but it was just a few minutes before it did. He asked me for a cup of-"

"Mint chocolate chip", Lori hurriedly say with tears in her eyes. "It's his favorite."

"Yes, precisely."

She gasped and had to hang on to the counter to keep herself from falling to the floor. It was him. Lincoln had been there.

"He looked sad, so I put extra chips on his ice cream", the man continued. "I asked him what he was doing wearing such light clothes in such a cold day, and I warned him about the rain, but he told me it was no problem since he was going to take a bus ride home. I don't know what bus he was referring to, though, because two minutes later it began to rain, and when I went outside to get the board with the prices inside I looked at the bus stop and he wasn't there. Bus hadn't passed yet."

The bus. Yeah, it made sense, that would've left him right at their house. It was the easiest, fastest and safest way to get across town. Of course someone as smart as Lincoln would have thought about it. According to this man, however, he hadn't taken the bus, and yet he wasn't there at the bus stop. Had he gone to another place? What had happened?

Where was Lincoln?

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" She said. She would have hugged him had he not been at the other side of the counter.

He gave her a few encouraging words and wished for the best, but Lori didn't pay him much attention. She hurriedly left the shop and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Rain was once again falling all around her, but now it was hardly a drizzle for her. She had no time to focus on her bangs hitting her forehead, or the squishy sounds her shoes made every time she took a step, or the water that got inside her socks. All her attention was put in finding… There!

"Lori! Where are you going?" Carol yelled from the car, but the eldest Loud didn't bother to answer. She crossed the street as fast as her legs would allow her to, quickly reaching the bus stop. It was a little bench with an acrylic roof that wouldn't really make much use with the torrential rain. At each side of the tiny structure there was a billboard, promoting new burgers and movies that were coming soon to Royal Woods.

It was the movie billboard the one that didn't let her see the crime scene until the last second. She stopped dead on her tracks, like she had crashed right into an invisible brick wall. The color drained from her face and she ever so carefully fell on her knees.

Carol joined her a few seconds later, running behind her as she used a purse to try and cover her head.

"Lori! What did you-?"

She fell silent as soon as she saw her classmate, once best friend, crying on her knees. The tiles were flooded in rainwater, but the whole bus stop was also tinted with a mint green that had melted and spilled from the ice cream cup Lori was now holding in her hands.

"Oh", she said, shaking from the cold and the fear. "Is that…?"

"He was going to take the bus", Lori explained, dropping tears inside the now almost-empty plastic cup. "He was waiting here, but he didn't take it. Why?! Where did he go?! What happened?!"

"Lori, listen, maybe he got tired of waiting." Carol hunched down next to her and placed a hand on her back. "Maybe it started to rain and he looked for somewhere else for cover."

Carol turned to face the street and began listing out loud the different places Lincoln could've gone to if he was looking for shelter from the storm. The mall was halfway between there and their house. There was a Burpin Burger store a few blocks down the road. He could have also taken a five blocks detour to go to the cinema.

Lori was too worried to pay any mind to Carol's suggestions, but she appreciated the effort her friend —yes, right then she felt that it was only appropriate to call her that— was making to lift her spirits and keep her hopes alive. As she held onto the ice cream cup her little brother had bought just a few hours ago, she remembered the first time Lincoln had tasted mint chocolate chip.

She had given it to him. It had always been her personal favorite, and one afternoon she decided to share her bowl with her baby brother. He had loved it, and now, ten years later, he was still buying that very same flavor.

She had to find him. She needed to fulfill her promise.

She stretched a hand towards Carol, and her friend helped her stand up. The young Pingrey continued listing out all places Lincoln could have moved on to in order to run away from the rain, and Lori tried to think like him. Where would he go? If she was Lincoln and she was caught out in the open by the rain, where would she go?

She started looking around, spinning in the same spot like a crazy woman. The bus, evidently, hadn't been an option. Maybe he didn't want to go home after all? Why? And where did he go, then? There was nothing particularly interesting near them, they were at the other side of town, right outside of Sunnyside Garden, with nothing to-

Sunnyside Garden. Lori remembered that place. Her parents used to take them there not too long ago. They liked it because there were less people there than in the central park, and it was easier to keep an eye on all of their children. They had all spent some great times there, they had had fun on the swings, the slides, the seesaws, playing next to the creek… The creek…

She turned to look at the Garden. The trees were moving, trying their best to resist the strong wind that shook their tops. She could see some of the games, completely empty and abandoned for the day, and a little further beyond…

She once again left Carol behind, sprinting into the park. She ran as fast as her legs allowed her to, leaving behind the slides where Luna used to play and the swings from which Lynn used to jump. She passed the sandbox where Luan practiced her clown acts, but the wet floor made her slip, and she fell onto the ground with her knees hitting the cold, wet tiles. She grunted in pain, and even without looking she could sense the scrap on her knees and elbow, which would soon begin to bleed.

She ignored the pain, though, and stood up once again. Not the rain, the pain, nor the wind would stop her as she got closer and closer to the creek and the tiny bridge to cross it. She went out of the path, moving towards the side of the bridge. The tiny stream had widened with all the rain, but there was still a quite important slope filled with mud and plants that she needed to climb down.

Lori tried her best to carefully go down, but her left foot slipped on a mud pool and she fell almost six feet before she could stop right at the edge of the creek. She cursed out loud but still managed to stand up, fighting to keep her balance and not trip again.

When she finally managed to do it, she turned to see under the Japanese bridge, and it was then when she thought she would pass out. She fell knees first into the mud and a hand went over her chest. Her heart was beating so hard it hurt, and she could feel each bump trying to break her ribs and leave her body. Her throat closed on itself, and it took her several seconds to breathe in, like she had been underwater and her lungs weren't allowing anything to get in them. She kept staring right there as long as she could, making sure that this wasn't her mind playing tricks on her, that what she saw wasn't a mirage of her own desires, but the true form of her little brother down there.

"Lincoln…" She pronounced with what little breath she had left. "Lincoln… LINCOLN!"

The figure of the young boy was sitting under the bridge, with his knees pressed up against his chest and his head hanging low between them. His hands were desperately clinging on to his sideburns, messing it up just as much as the rest of his hair was. His turkey tail was almost gone with how disheveled he was. Shortly after she called him out loud, he looked up.

Lori's heart twisted inside her chest when she saw the tears falling down that precious but pale face, with his bloodshot eyes and trembling lips. With the last remaining ounces of strength she had left, she stood up and ran right into him, easily fitting under the bridge, falling on her knees right next to him and throwing her arms around him before he could even react. She squeezed him against her, feeling the warmth of his body, leaning her head over his, and after breathing in the soft scent of shampoo that he still had on, she cried.

She cried harder than she ever remembered doing. Loud groans that went on for as much as her lungs allowed. Breathless wimpers that agitated her, making her dizzy and losing her sense of direction and balance. She didn't need those, though, because she clung to Lincoln as if her life depended on it, and there was nowhere she needed or wanted to go. There, where the rain didn't reach them, rocking him back and forth in her arms, weeping loudly and with her heart expelling all the anguish and fear that had been building up inside of her for the past few hours, she was finally aware of what she had almost lost.

A stream of memories flooded her mind. The day he was born and how she had been the first of her sisters to hold him. When he was five months old and she changed his diapers for the first time. When she taught him how to ride a bike. His first day of school. His seventh birthday. The halloween of 2013. When he took the "perfect picture" of all of them, last summer. She thought about it, and finally her fear of almost losing him shook her to her bones. She realized how weak she was, how much she loved and needed him. She and everyone else.

Lincoln, after going over the initial surprise, hugged her as well, burying his face on her chest to keep crying. She didn't know why he was crying, but it didn't matter at all. She'd be there for him, whatever it was, and she wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. She'd protect him with her life.

His crying made him shiver, and the sudden movement reminded Lori how cold it was out there. She had to make an inhuman effort to move away from him barely enough to take her raincoat and put it over him like a blanket. Lincoln tried to protest, but she wouldn't have any of that. She wrapped the fabric around him and hugged him again, her hands roaming through his body, grabbing his arms, his torso, his head, his shoulders, anything that would reassure him that he was real, that she had actually found him.

"Lori! Lori! Whe-?! AAAAH!"

Lori looked back just in time to witness Carol trying her best to keep her balance as she walked down the slope. The blonde girl was trying her best to use her purse as an improvised umbrella, without any satisfactory result, but she stopped complaining the moment she saw both of them. She whispered something to herself, something Lori couldn't hear, and then she joined them under the bridge.

"Is he-? Lincoln! Is he okay? How is he?" She asked, sounding desperate.

"H-He's fine… He's fine… he's fine", Lori repeated over and over again, hanging onto him ever tighter.

She heard a relief sigh from Carol, and for a few minutes, the three of them stayed there, with only the rain hitting the surface of the stream and the two Loud's crying breaking the silence. Lori knew that they couldn't stay there, but she wanted… no, she needed to have a moment with him. With Linky. Ever so carefully, she grabbed her phone from her slicker, unlocked it, and handed it to Carol.

"L-Look… Look for Luna and call her", she asked her. "Tell her… tell her I found him. He's with me. He's safe. We'll go home soon."

Carol grabbed the phone that was being offered to her and looked at the other girl in the eye.

"I'll be waiting in the car", she told her, letting her know that she'd give them a very necessary one-on-one time. She seemed to be about to lean in to give them a hug, but she hesitated, regretted it at the last second, and simply walked away without saying anything else.

Once she was left alone with her little brother, Lori tried to get a grip on her emotions. It was hard to do it, but she needed to be as calm as possible. She took several deep breaths, enough to be able to talk without panting.

"Take this", she said, searching with still shaking hands into one of the pockets of her slicker. She was able to fish out the tiny bottle Lisa had given to her. She opened it and moved it closer to her brother's mouth. "Lincoln, you need to drink this."

"L-Lori, I-I'm-"

"Just drink it", she begged, pressing the border of the bottle against his lips.

Shaking in either fear, cold, or both, he parted his lips a bit, and Lori tilted the bottle so the liquid could spill inside his mouth. He took two solid gulps, but then his eyes suddenly opened up and he yanked his head away. Lori watched a bit scared how he began to loudly cough.

"I-It burns!" He complained, still coughing.

 _It will raise his body temperature to prevent infections_ , Lisa had said. She also mentioned how it was important that he would have all of it. His health was as stake, she said. Him drinking that liquid could be the difference between life and… and…

"Linky, Linky, you need to drink it all", she told him with tears in her eyes, placing a hand behind her brother's head, moving the vial close to his mouth.

"I d-don't want to!" He said, crying a little louder.

A sharp blade cut through Lori's heart, leaving her bleeding on the inside. Her teeth clenched so hard she feared she would splinter them, but even in her pain, she knew what had to be done.

"You need to drink this, Linky! Do it, please! For me!"

Her brother looked at her in the eyes, his deep brown meeting the slightly lighter shade of hers. He was still scared, but one long look of her was enough to reassure him that she would be there, that she wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. She still had her hand behind his head, ready to keep him in place, but he made no move to escape as she once again presented the bottle to his mouth.

Lincoln was still crying, but he closed his eyes and reluctantly parted his lips to allow the liquid to invade his mouth. He immediately complained, grunting in pain and with his whole body twisting, his hands going to his chest and stomach, pressing on the slicker that covered him. Watching the way he looked, Lori wished she could take all the pain for him. She would gladly carry that cross, she would take any sort of punishment Destiny would lay onto her as long as he didn't have to deal with it.

After a minute that managed to stretch itself to feel like an hour, he finally finished drinking Lisa's antidote. As soon as he was done, Lori carelessly dropped the glass bottle to the ground and hugged Lincoln as tight as she could against her chest, her own tears falling onto his hair. She kept stroking his arms and head until the burning sensation seemed to die off. The sound of water streaming down behind them and the rain that covered the city were no longer perceived by them. Her whole world was reduced to him and her, together under the wood boards of the old bridge.

"I'm sorry", he said a few minutes later, a little more calm, but still crying in a very desperate way. "I didn't w-want to worry you, I just… I…"

"It's ok, it's ok", she soothed him, giving his forehead a quick succession of kisses. "You're here, that's the important thing. You're alright. Oh, Lincoln…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't… I couldn't help it", he confessed, whimpering stronger and harder, turning his head to look away from her in shame. "I couldn't help it."

She moved away enough to put both hands on Lincoln's cheeks, making him look at her. Her crippled heart suffered yet another hit when she noticed how vulnerable and terrified he looked, and she could only hope for the heat she felt with her palms to be a positive effect of whatever Lisa had given to him.

"What happened? Why did you come here?"

He tried to look away, but she didn't allow it.

"Lincoln, tell me, please", she insisted, and the pain she felt inside was reflected on her words.

Her little brother's shoulders kept shaking, and it seemed unlikely that he was in the proper conditions to talk. She was about to insist, but he leaned forward once again to press his forehead against her breastbone.

"I don't wanna… worry you", he whispered.

"Whatever it is, tell me! Don't keep it to yourself! Don't worry about me, Linky, just tell me what it is!"

He was a kid on the verge of puberty, but his crying was still that of a young child. Sharp, strong, uncontrolled. She was almost petrified with fright, since she couldn't remember ever seeing him so vulnerable, desperate, and afraid.

"Whatever it is, I'll be here for you, Lincoln", she assured him, planting a new kiss on his damped hair. "You're not alone. We'll go through it together, Linky, just talk to me."

He struggled to free his arms from his sister's embrace so he could wrap them around her, and she accepted him, fixing her raincoat to cover him as much as it could.

"It's… it's d-dumb…"

"No! No, it's not! I'm not going to be mad, I swear to you. Let me help you, please. Please. Let me help you."

Huddled against his eldest sister, sheltered from the rain and with no one to interrupt them, Lincoln allowed himself to be honest. He told her about his mood, increasingly hard to control in the recent days. He explained in detail what had happened to him that very same morning. That horrible sensation that invaded him for several minutes. He also told her, as much as his crying allowed it, all the events that had unfolded at Rusty's house. The reason he was angry and everything his body experienced. Lori couldn't help it, she cried harder when she heard all the things her little brother had been enduring and going through on his own. She could have never imagined that he would be suffering that way, and she felt like an idiot, a useless sister for not having noticed any of it. She didn't interrupted him at any time, devoted as she was to just listen to him, to embrace him, to caress his back, to kiss his head.

"And then… t-then I went back to the bus stop", Lincoln told her, shaking. Whether it was for the cold or the fear, she couldn't tell. "And there was… there's… a-an Ace Savvy poster."

He looked up to meet Lori's eyes, tears falling from his own like open sinks.

"They're making a movie", he explained with a grimace, his voice trailing off. "I-It's coming out in s-six months… A-Ace… H-He's my f-favorite superhero and…. and I… I-I'm dying before seeing it."

She gasped, feeling a cold hand closing around her heart. Lincoln wasn't any better.

"I-I'm d-dying, and… and there's so much I'll be missing on!" He exploded, finally venting his heart out to her. "I'm s-scared! I-I don't wanna die, Lori, I don't wanna die! I'm scared, but I can't let anyone know! I have… I have to be s-strong! For you! 'Cause I don't wanna s-see you guys cry! But I c-can't! I can't, Lori, I can't!"

His words got lost in an uncontrollable bawl, a crying that was only matched by Lori's as she held him tight and tried to think of a way to help him. His panting was now a full-on struggle to catch his breath amongst his soul-tearing screams, the ones that got lost in the absolute chaos around them, with no one but his sister to listen to them in that recondite corner of the park. Horrifying cries that froze her heart and filled her with despair, draining her of all hope and replacing her blood with a painful venom that attacked every fiber of her body, spreading inside like a plague.

She should have known… That integrity… That solemn attitude with which he seemed to face his condition… It wasn't real. It had never been. It was nothing but the mask Lincoln wore whenever he was around them, worried for the mental health and emotional state of his family rather than his own. That's how he was. Selfish and stingy every once in a while, but always putting his family first, even before him. She should have figured out that all the effort he put into helping his sisters was killing him, exhausting him. He was silencing his own voice, bottling up his feelings, fears and worries, forcing himself to not acknowledge what he felt, and now they were both witness of the consequences of that. Anger attacks, panic attacks. Way too much pain, much more than any eleven-years-old boy should ever have to deal with.

Lori didn't know what to do or what to say. How could she make it all better for him? How could she tell him that everything would be alright, if she herself felt a tremendous pain that cracked her heart and put her on her knees? She couldn't even fathom everything that her younger, baby brother would be feeling right then. She could understand, in part, why he did it, why he kept all his problems for himself. Just like her, he wanted to keep the house from falling apart. They were both trying to help everyone else to go through these tough times, to find some kind of solace among the unbearable sorrow. They both felt the responsibility to carry that weight on their shoulders so no one else had to.

Lincoln, however, was nothing but a kid, and being the main victim of circumstances, it was unfair, inhuman to ask for him to carry all the weight of his and everyone else's anguish. Maybe he was a better leader than her. Maybe he was the one that truly kept balance in the house. Maybe she had failed her family, her parents, her sisters, herself, and maybe she hadn't assumed the responsibility that everyone expected and needed her to assume. Maybe she had failed them all.

But she wouldn't fail Lincoln.

"Linky, look at me", she asked, moving away from him.

Her brother was still wailing between her arms, but he looked up and placed his hurt eyes on her. She used her thumbs to try to wipe away all the tears she could, and she summoned all the strengths she had left in her to talk to him.

"I don't want you to be strong for me. Be strong for our sisters if you want, for mom, for dad. Be strong for them… but you don't have to be it for me. Every time you feel bad, I want you to come to see me and I want you to let it all out. Don't pretend, don't try to fool me, don't worry about me or how I feel. I don't… Maybe I can't make you feel better… but I'll be there for you. Always. Until the end. Because even if you're the most beautiful, kind, thoughtful, perfect and wonderful kid in the world, you're still my little brother. And I'm your older sister. I'll always be. And I'll always be there for you whenever you need me."

He closed his eyes and his whole face turned into an ugly, hurt grimace just as his crying came back in a full-on assault, renewing the siege to her heart. She surrounded him with her arms, pulled him in against her body, and she began rocking her body with him on her lap, almost cradling him like she used to do when they were younger.

"I'm here… I'm here… I'm not going anywhere", she reassured him in whispers, with silent but devastating tears escaping from the corner of her eyes. "I'm here."

Rain kept falling around them. The flashes of lightning and thunder ruled the afternoon's cloudy sky. The creek kept streaming down towards the ocean, and the gale seemed to be composing a fanfare with the sounds it produced as it pierced through the treetops, but none of it seemed to matter to the two Loud siblings. Carol Pingrey would have to be patient in the car, because Lori had no intentions of moving away from that improvised refuge under the bridge, not as long as she was the only one with a shoulder upon which Lincoln felt free to cry and vent his frustrations and fears. Not as long as she was his only way to find a catharsis. It was her turn now to be strong. For him, for Lincoln, for her brother. She was the one who needed to leave her feelings aside to allow him to unburden himself. She was the only one in the family, nay the world who could take the weight off his shoulders.

And even though the load may make her crumble, even if her shoulders weren't enough, even if Atlas' curse rested now on her, toppling her down to her knees, hurting her, making her weak, tearing her heart and soul, she wouldn't complain. She'd soldier through it, she'd survive it. She'd take the punishment as long as necessary so he wouldn't have to.

Because that was her duty. She was the eldest sibling, she was the one that was supposed to be there for everyone, to lighten everyone's burdens. She was the one everyone should and could rely on, the one who would always be there for them. She'd summon strengths from where there were none in order to help him. Her loving embrace and her reassuring presence would take his suffering and redirect it to herself, no matter how much her own health could be affected.

All for him. For Lincoln. Her little brother.

* * *

.

.

 _._

 _At this point I think everyone realized that this is not the final chapter. When I said "don't miss the conclusion", I meant the second half of the chapter that, like I mentioned, had been divided in two. And when I compared it to Infinity War and the culmination of two years of work (the MCU does continue after IW, lol) I meant it in the sense that this is_ _ **the**_ _climax, the point where Lincoln finds himself at his lowest. For two years I tried to show Lincoln worried about everyone else, helping all his loved ones one by one. He neglected himself to save others, and he finally paid the price. This was Lincoln's crisis. Now we know more about what was going on in his mind, his heart. His panic attacks (whenever he stopped to think about the fact that he's dying), his anger attacks (when things didn't go his way or he thought people was treating him like a dead man already), they were all the product of not having anyone to cry with. Of bottling up his feelings. Of not accepting the dire truth, instead escaping from it by helping other, forgetting about his own mental health._

 _To make this simpler and avoid any more mistakes from me, I'll be honest: there are two more chapters. One chapter, and then the end. The end end. No epilogue, no continuation, no sequels, nothing. If it takes me 40K words to write that final chapter, so be it. No more splitting up chapters. Two more chapters, period._

 _Thank you all who wrote to me, I read all your messages. They're a LOT! But I do read them all. I give y'all a giant hug, dear readers, and I'll see you next time._


End file.
